a little conflict is a good thing
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“We Speak Your Language” Retained Executive Search Recruitment Outsourcing Leadership Consulting
Conflict Resolution: A little conflict is a good thing!
ACEC-ASCE-TSPE Annual Meeting September 14, 2012
“We Speak Your Language”
Who is Dan Ryan? • Recovering engineer/scientist • Father and husband • Teacher and facilitator • Engaged sports fan
“We Speak Your Language”
Conflict is . . .
any situation in which your
concerns or desires differ from those of
another person
RM-3
“We Speak Your Language”
Objectives
• Become more aware of your own conflict style
• Recognize the conflict styles of others
• Assess conflict situations • Practice using different conflict
modes • Learn how to manage constructive conflict
RM-4
“We Speak Your Language”
Understanding the Conflict Modes
Two basic aspects of all Conflict-handling modes…
RM-5
Your Conflict = Skill + Situation Mode
Cooperativeness
Asse
rtive
ness
“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-6
From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.
“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-7
From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.
“We Speak Your Language”
The Five Conflict Handling Modes
RM-8
“We Speak Your Language”
Competing
• Taking quick action • Making unpopular decisions • Standing up for vital issues • Protecting yourself
RM-9
“My way or the highway”
“We Speak Your Language”
Competing Skills
• Arguing or debating
• Using rank, position, or influence
• Asserting your opinions and feelings
• Standing your ground
• Stating your position clearly
RM-10
“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Competing
• Lack of feedback
• Reduced learning
• Low empowerment
• Surrounded by “yes people”
RM-11
“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Competing
• Restricted influence
• Indecision
• Delayed action
• Withholding of contributions
RM-12
“We Speak Your Language”
Excessive Competing
Page 13
“We Speak Your Language”
Accommodating
• Showing reasonableness • Developing performance • Creating goodwill • Keeping “peace” • Retreating • Maintaining perspective
RM-14
“It would be my pleasure”
“We Speak Your Language”
Accommodating Skills
• Forgoing your desires
• Selflessness
• Obedience
• Ability to yield
RM-15
“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Accommodating
• Overlooked ideas
• Restricted influence
• Loss of contribution
• Anarchy
RM-16
“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Accommodating
• Lack of rapport
• Low morale
• By-the-book reputation
• Inability to yield
RM-17
“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding
• Leaving unimportant issues alone
• Reducing tensions • Buying time • Knowing your limitations • Allowing others ownership • Recognizing issues as
symptoms
RM-18
“I’ll think about it tomorrow”
“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding Skills
• Withdrawing
• Sidestepping
• Sense of timing
• Ability to leave things unresolved
RM-19
“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Avoiding
• Lack of input from you
• Decisions made by default
• Festering issues
• Climate of caution
RM-20
“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Avoiding
• Hostility/hurt feelings
• Work overload—too many causes
• Lack of prioritization/delegation
RM-21
“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding
Page 22
“We Speak Your Language”
Collaborating
• Integrating solutions • Learning • Merging perspectives • Gaining commitment • Improving relationships
RM-23
“Two heads are better than one”
“We Speak Your Language”
Collaborating Skills
• Ability to listen, understand, and empathize
• Nonthreatening confrontation
• Input analysis
• Identifying underlying concerns
RM-24
“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Collaborating
• Too much time on trivial matters
• Diffused responsibility
• People who take advantage
• Work overload
RM-25
“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Collaborating
• Mutual gains deprivation
• Lack of commitment
• Low empowerment
• Loss of innovation
RM-26
“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising
• Resolving issues of moderate importance
• Reaching resolution with equal power and strong commitment
• Creating temporary solutions • Dealing with time constraints • Backing up competing/
collaborating
RM-27
“Let’s make a deal”
“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising Skills
• Negotiating
• Finding a “middle ground”
• Making concessions
• Assessing value
RM-28
“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Compromising
• Loss of big-picture perspective
• Lack of trust
• Cynical climate
RM-29
“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Compromising
• Unnecessary confrontations
• Frequent power struggles
• Inability to negotiate effectively
RM-30
“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising in life
Page 31
“We Speak Your Language”
In Summary
• There are five modes of handling conflict – Competing – Collaborating – Compromising – Avoiding – Accommodating
Page 32
“We Speak Your Language”
Causes of Team Conflict
• Values of team members • Attitudes of team members • Goals/Expectations - the processes and expected
outcomes • Roles and responsibilities of team members • Limited resources • Personalities • Interdependency • Increased interaction (frequency)
Page 33
Source: Cappozzoli & Alessandra
“We Speak Your Language”
Remedies for team conflict
• Self-awareness • Open communication • Mediation • Reorganization • Realignment-Reassignment • Disbanding
Page 34
“We Speak Your Language”
Case Study Your project team consists of the following individuals: • John (avoider) Team Leader-PM • Jane (compromiser) Asst. PM • Jim (competing) 5 year PE • Joan (competing) 25 year PG • Bubba (competing) 15 year Scientist You (John) are working on a project with a tight deadline and you consistently have challenges with Jim, Joan and Bubba
disagreeing on the best course of action. What might you do?
Page 35
“We Speak Your Language”
Questions?
Page 36
“We Speak Your Language”
Thank You!
Dan Ryan Principal
615 202 0883 cell 615 656 3535 office
Dan@Ryansc.net http://ryansc.net
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