all in withlove
Post on 02-Apr-2016
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All or nothin’! ... with love
Foreword:
1. Where is the love?
2. She comes with love
3. Sweet sweet love
4. The prize
5. When dreams collide
6. And now I know
7. If it all go’s to shit
8. Destiny
9. My script, your song
10. Self Immolation
11. We got love
12. I ring the bell
13. I ain’t got nothing for you but love
14. If I should die
15. Which one?
16. Am I worthy?
17. Who will dream?
18. The Break-up
19. Whisper
20. Darkness calls
21. Now I understand
22. We three jelly beans
23. Something more
Epilogue:
B L A C K J O H N
2 | P a g e
Foreword:
One and a half billion seconds (ish), 17,797 sunrises, 17,798 sunsets, 200,000,000
litres of air @20% oxygen utilising on average 5%... about 5,000,000 litres of pure
oxygen, or the best part of 1 big ash tree. In addition, about half an Olympic
swimming pool of water consumed. This algorithm of my existence- the sum of all I
am or ever was, in simple terms.
In return I have produced 18 metric tonnes of excrement- ¾ of which was water, not
a bad return as usage go’s, what ya think? That figure, as of yesterday morning (I
know I should eat more fibre). Interestingly, I have smoked 420,001 cigarettes, which
if I’m not mistaken makes me about quits with the tree regarding carbon dioxide
containment (that is of course if i don’t get cremated). And come to think of it, a
least half of that fluid intake was alcohol- so actually, I am probably pure water
positive.
And was it worth it I wonder, did I earn my noble passage or trade away existence for
some other fool’s obsolete pipe dream? Not a bad exchange overall, I feel. In truth, it
looks as if I may be in credit, I am pleased. And before some asshole suggests that my
airline miles somehow affect my carbon number, I checked with the airlines... they
were flying anyway! So basically, to save this planet from the wanton destruction of
the selfish (those who don’t get drunk or smoke excessively) we need a lot more guys
like me. So will you tell me how much you are worth, retrospectively? Sorry to pry,
but I really am interested in finding out. Many trees were permanently disfigured in
the production of this short book, so it’s only fair... ya get me?
It is in the wind, the difference-
in those who choose to view.
Hawks, hernshaws or saws
do not give a flying fuck-
If they’re mistaken,
or are mistaken.
They know,
bird rule.
3 | P a g e
Calling 911
Tumbleweed upon the prairie,
or deranged greed?
That’s life.
Shall I blame the stars or god?
Is man himself a contributing
factor?
Could it be all, or none
of the above- just random shit
sticking to the pan?
“This life”
A curt dispatcher interrupts:
“Hold, you’re in the queue!”
As a cold metallic recording
adds meat to the argument,
“In an emergency, press 1”-
I do...
something happens.
4 | P a g e
Where is the love?
I am on this earth
right now,
Seeking love,
but there is none.
Nothing to balance this hate
I see everywhere.
Is the battle lost, has love
already been defeated,
Am I too late?
Only in the cold dead eyes
of innocent children burned,
is there any suggestion
of eternity,
or even hope.
What have we become?
This earth appals me,
disgust me,
frightens me...
A filth infested shrine to mediocrity
and fear masquerading as power.
Those pulling strings
are weak,
I will show you,
I will go down to the mountain,
I will drown in liquid fire,
And I will show you...
Another kind of love.
Perfect in its anger,
Obedient to its master.
5 | P a g e
Behemoth!
Leviathan!
Ziz!
I command thee...
All sauropods of chaos,
Emerge from slumber!
Finish this slaughter,
murder them all...
Enter Israel!
I can no longer watch
Palestinian babies crying,
Slowly and painfully dying,
without need,
While this world watches,
Without love.
The sun go’s dark,
the dead sea swells,
the land beneath shakes.
It has begun,
Dive, take cover,
Find shelter!
But not in Israel...
for there, there will be none.
The wicked shall be hoisted,
their destiny fulfilled
By sea, by air, by earth,
by ire and golden fire.
By Behemoth,
Leviathan,
And Ziz!
6 | P a g e
Golems without imagination,
called to reach a definitive
conclusion to hate.
I can no longer watch
Palestinian children dying,
calling out in vain to an earth
that simply doesn’t care.
The golems of my creation
have been summoned,
they are taking form
and shape.
What a price this world must pay,
for love. There has always been
an easier way.
The sun go’s dark,
the red sea swells- heats!
The land beneath shakes-
Too late,
your half-assed cries of apology,
too late to beg forgiveness,
Your apathy alone
was heard.
It is done.
And on the mound of lions
shall rest their severed heads,
in dust.
My love is perfect,
As is my wrath-
my ire on fire,
taking wing...
7 | P a g e
I am dragon,
I am ready...
I am already done.
8 | P a g e
She comes with love
She comes with love to heal my wounds,
She, who could kill me.
The Queen of heaven, without agenda,
the knave of spades caves in.
She comes by birthright, wielding light,
And I accept her invitation.
Her love is perfect, power with stability.
Long live the Black Prince, loved.
She comes with love to heal my wounds,
and this stolen union will be forever.
Mortal now, I feel the crush of my bones,
blood flow in a heart finally beating.
It’s not every day that one throws away
one’s immortality on a whim.
All hail the White Queen, she is his love.
And He is nothing without her.
9 | P a g e
Sweet sweet love...
I made a cage for love,
inside it slept- long
into the evening.
I dared not open senses
for fear of losing everything.
When out of the blue,
drunk purely on emotion,
I braved the wilderness to weep-
creeping slowly towards
my inevitable
defeat.
It gently flung open,
inside no sounds uttered,
nothing leaped.
As I peered inside,
that which sought to bind,
I soon discovered that
it had been empty
all along.
Un-caging love,
It was I who was released.
10 | P a g e
The prize
The prize, the prize is everything.
No caveats or loopholes
required,
or requested.
It is everything,
It is love.
11 | P a g e
When dreams collide
When dreams collide, the earth
stops.
I have nothing more-
There is nothing more,
to add.
12 | P a g e
And now I know
I now know something
I dared not dream,
hope, pray or
believe in...
“All or nothing”
was the deal.
That is the deal.
Nothing more to fix or
endlessly chew,
Catch ya’all in a millennium,
or two!
13 | P a g e
If it all go’s to shit
If it all go’s to shit
between now and then,
what harm?
We all expect too much.
If it all go’s to shit
between you and I,
what harm?
Have we not loved,
Is that not enough?
Maybe easier for I,
as it only happened once.
I don’t know- I don’t care!
I loved you once,
that enough for me,
I will dine for all eternity...
on you.
Could it be that I
do not expect enough?
Do not want enough-
need enough,
Perhaps?
If it all go’s to shit,
what harm will it be?
The veil of expectation
has been lifted,
shredded...
I have seen your face,
imagined your embrace-
caught you every time
you fell...
14 | P a g e
What have we to fear?
Centuries of death
proved no barrier
to you and I,
To us.
15 | P a g e
Destiny
Destiny,
what a gamble
paying off.
I entered this game clueless.
There were rules apparently,
thank god I ignored them.
Or did I jump ship
And in that fall
be retrieved?
Destiny,
what a gamble-
what an unexpected gambit
paying off.
No longer clueless, I roam emotion
with the innocence of a child,
Over awed,
over-powered...
by love.
16 | P a g e
My script, your song...
Script...
what script?
Non-rehearsable!
This show is
non-rehearsable,
don’t ever try-
don’t care,
just let it flow...
this show,
let it flow,
let it find its own way!
There is no other way-
Non-rehearsable!
This show is
Non-rehearsable!
This life is
Non-rehearsable!
I am...
un-rehearsable
No other way,
just let it flow...
There is no bridge,
nothing to be built-
just let it flow,
let it be.
Be that better man,
that better woman,
that better child
within us all.
Within all of us...
hiding, fearing,
17 | P a g e
silently hoping-
praying for change,
Praying for peace,
just praying...
No good.
Let it flow,
let it all go-
this is all there is,
all that we need
To be happy now,
Not in some possible future.
This is no dressed rehearsal,
this is no dying dream.
This is,
all that there is-
And it is perfect!
Script!
What script?
We don’t need one.
All or nothing babe,
I am “all-in!”
Irreversibly!
Blinded by the sun
hounding love, do not
cure me of this malady-
I am in love.
18 | P a g e
Self Immolation : a deliberate and willing sacrifice of oneself by fire.
Emergency,
from the shadows.
I see you face
smile
And I am free.
This is my emergency,
leaving the darkness
For your love.
You called,
I heard...
And now I have replied.
No boundaries
for the Queen of Light,
standing un-denied.
The King of Darkness
emerges from the crowd...
This is an emergency,
my emergency,
No more the crown of thorns
piercing every thought,
No more rehearsals-
dressed or not,
I emerge, I emerge
to be with you,
my love.
Sparks crest internally,
hot liquid gassed spins-
and so the fire
begins
19 | P a g e
Self immolation baby,
imminent.
20 | P a g e
We got love
We got love by the tail,
lord knows where this go’s.
I spin through you,
You and I...
We got love by the tail,
And we’re not letting go.
21 | P a g e
I ring the bell
Light the sky,
the bell has sounded.
Shift the moon
change its orbit.
Let the sea of tides
unborn before this day
become
the earth already
wakened from its slumber.
Cry love! Love! Love! Love!
Unleash my tired angels.
The holy trinity of
godly justice,
comes.
The earth is shaking,
the dead sea boiling,
Our moon approaches
final orbit.
In this world or the next,
my love,
I will see you.
(But this one would be better)
All my love,
Blackjohn
22 | P a g e
I ain’t got nothin’ for you but love
Compromise,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Compassion,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Forgiveness,
I ain’t got none
... not for you.
All I got is love girl,
And that’s all I got for you.
Excuses,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Blame,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Lies,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
23 | P a g e
All I got is love girl,
And that’s all I got for you.
I ain’t got compromise- I don’t need none
I ain’t got compassion - I don’t need none
I ain’t got forgiveness - I don’t need none
I ain’t got excuses - I don’t need none
I ain’t got blame- I don’t need none
I ain’t got lies- I don’t need none
Love girl, that’s all I got,
cause love don’t need nothing...
But you.
24 | P a g e
If I should die
If I should die
before I take your breath away,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before I hear you say my name,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before you know my love is you,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before I taste tenderly your kiss,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before I plunge helplessly in you
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before we synthesise with sun,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before I see your smile asleep,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before we cry joyful tears as one
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die... enough!
Kill me now and let’s get this over.
My gentle heart can take no more.
25 | P a g e
Which one
I will not take
what is not freely given.
Have I stared too long into the sun?
Have I by wilful fire been burned?
Is there no alternative to love?
Am I Icarus or Phaethon?
Dare I look up,
or down?
You choose.
26 | P a g e
Am I worthy
I scratch at the sky,
some rag and bone rat-man
nibbling on eternity...
Am I worthy?
Who am I to warrant
this radiant beauty,
a love such as this?
Am I worthy,
am I...?
She is.
27 | P a g e
Who will dream
Who will dream with me?
Who would dare make
a beggar of belief,
with me?
You must,
you simply must.
I will bow before the blackest god-
cap in hand, if I am wrong.
Sweet god,
sweet god of love
This is the way,
The only way.
I beseech thee,
take my life, my soul-
everything I love dear or hold,
Take it all if I am wrong...
Even,
even her!
28 | P a g e
The break-up
Athena,
Goddess of love,
Its over hun- I’m sorry.
I have found another
She is frail, fragile- human,
Everything that I am not.
Sorry babes, it’s over.
Forgive me, or not
I don’t care.
This man has fallen for another.
And this chasm is deep-
so deep my love,
that tears born at the dawn of time,
have not yet reached
the bottom
Hephaestus my dear...
Has left the building!
29 | P a g e
Whisper
How can I say more,
when there is nothing more
to say.
I have told you everything.
What more can I do,
when there is but one thing
left to do.
Meet me,
not half-way...
Take but the slightest step
in my direction, a single breath
or smile when you are alone,
That enough...
I will know.
I will come to you.
I will show you our eternity,
right now.
Whisper,
whisper my name
I can hear your heart beating
from here...
though I am half a million miles away.
30 | P a g e
Darkness calls
I do not want to be remembered
when I’m gone,
know me now.
My hope is that I died,
as I lived-
Un-compromised.
All or nothing,
... with love.
31 | P a g e
Now I understand
Anxiously, I wait...
my soul emptied of purpose.
I am naked before God.
Will my call be returned,
will it even be delivered?
I must believe,
or die...
human.
“Better to have loved and lost...”
Dam it, he was right.
I think?
Slowly, I am dying...
Each breath one less-
One more step towards
the eternal.
I scream to live,
deliver me lord beyond
the reach of ordinariness,
have I not been tested
enough?
No mortal man
has ever been asked,
to endure an onslaught
such as this-
It is all consuming.
My flesh devours itself...
Shall I now question love?
Might I still have that right?
32 | P a g e
I think not.
Dark is the night,
my evolution has begun.
My skin tightens
wrapped in diamonds-
supporting golden
claws.
I feel the fire
hssssssssssssss,
My spine deforms.
My blood freezes,
I am dying.
He comes...
for I have called him.
He comes...
and there shall be no shelter,
For any without love.
33 | P a g e
We three jelly beans
We three serve love,
We three have no other master.
All our love,
BLZ
34 | P a g e
Something more
Beautiful are the stolen moments
surrendering to love,
Those moments no one sees,
between a man and his god.
Between the hunter
and the hunted...
Invalidating a hollow life-
Be that prey love,
or something
more.
35 | P a g e
Epilogue: Forget all the smoke and mirrors...
It sits beneath the throne of my soul prepared to catch me should I fall, a ball of
energy elevating everything worthwhile. Many explore the phenomenon of love
expecting so much with little or no effort. If one hunts rabbit, one must know
what a rabbit looks like- must understand its habits and favourite places to
hang out. It is never where you expect it to be, of that I am sure. In is rarely in
anyone you expect it to be in... love is neither male nor female, it is something
more. Something higher, more profound. And should you chance upon it either
by accident or design, ask yourself one question- “Am I worthy of honouring,
holding and sustaining such a fragile and preciously gift, have I prepared my
mind, my body and my soul sufficiently?” Ultimately, to all those who would
seek genuine love, one must find it within oneself first... after that, it’s easy.
All my love,
Blackjohn
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