being heard, healing the hurt, changing

Being Heard, Healing the Hurt, Changing Perceptions: Use of Restorative Practice in School

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Lynn Massey-DavisWithernsea High School

What are your thoughts about

the lad in black ?

Now how about the lad in blue ?

More information: The lad in blue is called Lewis. His dad is in prison for drug dealing. Their house

had been petrol bombed by some of his dad’s associates. Lewis, his mum and baby sister barely escaped with their lives. Lewis is often violent towards other children and has been

labelled by his teacher and others in his class

Change anything ?

But what happens if you are the teacher who has to deal with Lewis every day

as one of 28 kids in your class ?Or the parent of the child who has been

bullied ?Or Lewis who now has a belief that “I

am bad, I can’t do anything right”

This is Tim. He teaches modern foreign languages in a school where although

the area is predominantly white working class, a large proportion of children

struggle with their primary language. He is young, private school educated and

has not yet developed the empathy which will one day make him a good

teacherThe school where Tim teaches has a system where disruptive children are

removed and if they have two removals in a subject in a week, the

pupil has a lunchtime detention.When the log is analysed by the head of “Inclusion”, it appears that Tim has

one of the highest removal rates in the school and there are around 3-4 pupils who have been removed more than 10

times

LABELLED LABELLED

He keeps wasting my time!She can’t keep friends

I’m not going to help her anymore, she’s had so much help and she

just goes from one person to another, nothing changes

She can’t handle her classes

Why are kids from his class always removed to me. They

aren’t a problem for me

Jack is so far behind with his coursework he won’t get his 5 A*- C’s yet he is a bright lad

I am useless. I can’t do anything right

I am useless, I can’t do anything right.

This workshop

• A couple of case studies of work with individuals

• Where we are going to in our school with restorative practice

Suzie• Year 9 • Odd one out• Made lots of allegations to a

range of staff about bullying• Teachers investigate to find

nothing• Suzie has worn out the

patience of every teacher who teaches her

• Relationships are broken and Suzie is labelled

• Mum and dad are concerned• There is a need for healing.

Being heard

• The story of pain has to be heard

• Borrowed from Solution focussed therapy

• Only then can the question “what would make it right again ?”

• What can you give ?• What should you give

Back to Suzie• Contract between Suzie and

the teachers she had “hurt”• If she wasted time in false

allegations – then she would have to “pay back” the time to the teachers.

• Later there was also a contract which Suzie had the confidence to ask for between her and a group of girls she felt bullied by

What happened to Suzie?• Rather than be a “failure” I

ended up teaching Suzie A levels

• Suzie is now 2 years through her mental health nursing degree

• She is her own person and happy and will make a terrific nurse

• She gave permission for her story to be told because we are still in touch!

Lessons

• Everyone has to be heard

• The person who feels “wronged” has to have some justice

• This seems to draw a line under the events and deliver “Label amnesia”

Behaviour Audit• Withernsea High School• B4L• Systematic way of dealing with disruption• All removals are logged with details of time, lesson and

teacher• Year group 130• 12-16 pupils “hard core” 20+ removals a year • 4 out of 5 are boys• Significant numbers have difficult relationship with one

teacher only• This is sensitive!

Beginings of restorative working • Chris is in my form• Lives with big sister because

mum has serious mental health problems

• Came up from junior school labelled as a “difficult” student

• I monitored his “log”• 3 removals from one science

teacher in a fortnight

Science teacher• NQT with Ph.D.• I took the time to talk with her at

break• Listened to her talk about Chris

(I am fond of Chris, this was hard for me)

• Asked her to state “What would make things a little better?”

• Slipped in a few details to her about Chris’s life before he lived with sister

• Asked her to notice when things were a little “better” with Chris.

Back to Chris

• Talked to Chris about how things went with Ms H.

• “If you could do one thing differnet which might make a difference to the lesson with her what would it be ?”

• Can we try it ?

Outcome

• Chris is no longer a likely lad

• Averages 2 removals a term

• None from Ms H

Next steps

• Use behaviour logs for early identification of poor relationships

• Seek to repair through skilled helper mediation• Never forget the pain• Restore means the opposite of assertion• Written contracts sometimes help• Other times not• Its like “Jazz” be prepared to improvise ?