communication culture:resolving conflict and leveraging feedback

Communication Culture:

Resolving Conflict and Leveraging Feedback

Ann Grove and Barrie Byron

Veteran presenters who are passionate about lifelong learning and

experienced in embracing change

2012 STC Mid-Atlantic Regional ConferenceProfessional Development Track

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Barrie Byron20+ years – Technical writer,

happy team member

16 years– Active STC

member and leader

11 years– Active Toastmaster

member and leader

Lifelong learner– Minimal conflict

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Ann Grove

11 years– Business owner, technical communication

consultant

11 years– Active STC member

and leader

Lifelong learner– Embracing change

Negotiation is an ongoing, evolving social experiment

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trial.”~Confucius

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Get started

• Passion is good; obsession is bad

• Put assumptions aside and listen to all parties

• Develop strategies to remain focused, respectful, empathetic, caring

• Avoid blame, accusations

• Avoid “right” and “wrong”

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Communication Culture

• Learn to adapt your communication style for your current team culture– High tech versus low tech– Direct conversation versus advance agendas– Phone versus email, or even instant message

chats

“Of all things, communication is the most wonderful.”

~John Dewey, 1939

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4 root causes for conflict

1. Personalities

2. Misunderstandings

3. Issues

4. Leadership styles

“There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or your alter yourself to meet them.”

~Phyllis Bottome

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The cause behind the cause

Sometimes the

obvious cause is

actually a symptom

Examples of hidden

causes: power

struggles,

need to take credit

Cause 1

Contentious personalities

• Dispositions and personalities are complex and complicated:

• Parenting• Culture• Community• Experiences• Outside influences• Professional history (success, failures, habits)

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5 personality types

1. Know-it-all

2. Argumentative

3. People pleaser

4. Narcissist ego-maniac

5. Self-loather

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Cause 2 Misunderstanding

• Miscommunication is primary cause of conflict

• Perceptions vary

• Facts, relevant information not clearly communicated

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Cause 3

Issues

• Social atmospheres change when team members have different:– Opinions– Objectives– Preferences

• Virtual work – New challenges

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Cause 4

Leadership styles

Preferential responses to the four primary leadership styles:

1. Authoritarian

2. Democratic

3. Charismatic

4. Passive

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• Listen objectively• Understand• Act

“Seek first to understand

and then to be understood.”~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Leverage feedback

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Graphic shared by permission from Don Moyer

6 methods for resolving conflict

1. Ignore it

2. Smooth it over

3. Force

4. Compromise

5. Collaborate

6. Involve a third party

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Prepare to negotiate

•Identify and assess your options

•Rough out a game plan

“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/

Above all, stay positive“Enthusiasts are fighters. They have fortitude. They have staying qualities. Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress! With it, there is accomplishment. Without it, there are only alibis.” ~ Henry Ford

http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson-is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/

Are you ready?

Investigated the issueUnderstand team culture & personalitiesIdentified root causes, visible & hiddenIdentified and assessed optionsHave a game planStay positiveReady to negotiate!

Be ready to use your pause button

“You ask a coworker to do something, and she responds, ‘That’s not my job.’ Feeling your blood pressure rise, you may be tempted to blurt out, ‘well, it’s not my job either, blockhead!’”~Negotiating for Dummies

Examples:

Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer

Body Language

• Voice control• Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time• Facial expressions: Smile!• Arms and hands open• Body tilted toward the speaker

• Subtly mirror your adversary.

• Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”

Know when to move on

• Swim with dolphins

• Be wary of tunas and sharks

http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg

~ Chellie Campbell, in The Wealth Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction

Scenario 1: Face to Face

Writer is asking developer to provide feedback on deadline

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Scenario 2: On the Phone

Writer is asking boss for help setting priorities

Practice negotiating

• Negotiate in a volunteer position

• Negotiate with your kids or a spouse

• Shop for a car

• Shop for expensive jewelry

• Negotiate at an antique store

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Keep in touch!

• Barrie Byron– barriebyron@gmail.com – www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron – barriebyron.wordpress.com – twitter @barriebyron

• Ann Grove– anngrove@logicalwriters.com– http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove – http://www.logicalwriters.com/ – twitter @AnnGrove