debunking friendships

Debunking FriendshipsBY KUMIKO SASA

Characterization of men and women’s

Same-Sex friendshipsFemales Males

Self-Disclosure: Affectively or Instrumentally Oriented

Communication

Women- Affective

• intimate, emotional, caring and communal (Watson 2012)

• They are told to value interconnectedness and nurturance. (Felmlee, Sweet and Sinclair 2012)

• “Women are rated more highly than men on communal attributes such as emotional expressiveness, nurturance, interpersonal sensitivity, kindness, and responsiveness” (Ridgeway 2011:58)

• Communication through communication

Men- Instrumental

• Men are portrayed as less emotional and more agentic.

• They are taught to be more competitive, independent and aggressive (Felmlee, Sweet and Sinclair 2012)

• “Men are rated more highly than women on agentic qualities such as instrumental competence, assertiveness, confidence, independence, forcefulness, and dominance” (Ridgeway 2011:58).

• Communication through activities

“In that sense, they are descriptive in

nature, providing a thumbnail sketch of what people take to be the way men and women behave on average. But as the rules of the gender

game, gender stereotypes have a

prescriptive quality as well” (Ridgeway

2011:58).

Gender differences in the Functions of Same-Sex

Friendships

Females:- Function: maintaining and building social networks- High value on relations with others- Higher expectations on same-sex friends placed

with regards to intimacy, mutual activities and loyalty

- Engagement = communal

Males:- Function: way to promote individuality,

status, and reputation (Watson 2012)- Describe themselves more in terms of

independence- Engagement=activities

Are men’s and women’s same-sex friendships polar opposites?

Not

necessarily!!!

How do they appear to be so different?

-Gender as something

we do

• “differences in gender role socialization produce stable differences in how gossip is used in the context of friendship” (Watson 2012:495).

• Males– Gossip: act of business & individuality– Individualistic

• Females– Gossip: build social networks & intrasexual

competition

Gender Differences in gossip tendencies and self-disclosure

Self-disclosure (interesting data regarding men)- Bowman

(2008)

- They do self-disclose! Just less about negative information when they identify themselves more with a masculine gender orientation

- Also..

CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?

The answer is yes, but once again with complexities!

Friends maybe….Romance most likely!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sllQdfTCFg

Greatest Movie Quotes "When Harry Met Sally" Guys can't be friends with girls.

{ Challenges }Three main challenges:1. Emotional

Bond2. Public

Presentation3. Sexual

challenge

Emotional Bond:- Frequent contact- Disclosure of past

relationships

Public Presentation:- Maintaining a balance of partaking in public and private activites

Sexual Challenge: (O’meara)- Have to

successfully develop a definition of the type of love they experience

- 1. Friendship - 2. platonic love- 3. Friendship

love- 4. Physical love- 5. Romantic

love

For MEN: For WOMEN:

- Men in this relationship receive more social support and emotional gratification than they do in their same-sex friendships

- Freer to express more feminine qualities

- Easier to be more competitive- Provided an “objective

perspective” that same-sex friendships couldn’t provide

Conclusion