exhausted woman (all-day seminar)

The Exhausted Woman

First Baptist Church of

Windermere Women’s

Conference

Christine Hammond, LMHC

Schedule9:00 – 10:15: Exhaustion Triangle

15 Minute Break

10:30 – 12:00: Internal Sources

30 Minute Lunch

12:30 – 2:00: External Sources

My Exhausting

Week

Exhaustion Triangle

Behavior

ThoughtsFeelings

Painful event occurs

Feel guilty or inadequate:

uncomfortable

Leads to a desire to control: to feel

better

Begin to obsessively think:

behave badly

Others withdraw or back away

Creates confusion and frustration:

leads to pain

Behavior

ThoughtsFeelings

Exhaustion Triangle: Obsessive Thinking

10 Examples of Obsessive

Thinking

Distorted Thinking

“Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about

sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy

Spirit think about things that please the

Spirit.” Romans 8:5

Obsessive Thinking

Overcome

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing

the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for

you, which is good and pleasing and

perfect.” Romans 12:2

•True?T•Helpful?H•Inspiring?I•Necessary?N•Kind?K

Is It..

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your

thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of

praise.” Philippians 4:8

Exhaustion Triangle: Feelings of Guilt/Inadequacy

Behavior

ThoughtsFeelings

Stage Age Important Events Significant Relations

General Characteristics

Virtue Maladaptation

Trust vs. Mistrust Birth – 1 year Feeding Maternal Are my parents trustworthy? Hope Withdraw

Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt 1 – 3 years Toilet

Training Paternal Can I do things myself? Will Impulsivity

Initiative vs. Guilt

3 – 6 years Exploration Basic

FamilyAm I good or bad? Purpose Cruelty

Industry vs. Inferiority 6 – 12 years School School Am I

worthless? Competence Apathy

Identity vs. Role Confusion 12 – 18 years Social

Relationships Peer Groups Who am I? Fidelity Radicalism

Intimacy vs. Isolation 18 – 34 years Intimate Relation-ships

Friendships Spouse

Shall I share my life with someone or live alone? Love Promiscuity

Generativity vs. Stagnation 34 – 64 years Work Parenthood Work

Family Will I succeed in life? Care Overextension

Ego Integrity vs. Despair 65 to death Reflection on Life Humankind Have I lived a full life? Wisdom Disdain

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7a NKJV

FalseEvidenceAppearingReal

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,

but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Inadequacy

Fear of God’s Light

Fear of Darkness

Stage Age Important Events

Significant Relations

General Characteristics

Virtue Maladapta-tion

Trust vs. Mistrust Birth – 1 year Feeding Maternal Are my parents trustworthy? Hope Withdraw

Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt 1 – 3 years Toilet

Training Paternal Can I do things myself? Will Impulsivity

Initiative vs. Guilt 3 – 6 years Exploration Basic Family Am I good or bad? Purpose Cruelty

Industry vs. Inferiority

6 – 12 years School School Am I

worthless? Competence Apathy

Identity vs. Role Confusion 12 – 18 years Social

Relationships Peer Groups Who am I? Fidelity Radicalism

Intimacy vs. Isolation 18 – 34 years Intimate Relationships

Friendships Spouse

Shall I share my life with someone or live alone? Love Promiscuity

Generativity vs. Stagnation 34 – 64 years Work

ParenthoodWorkFamily Will I succeed in life? Care Overextension

Ego Integrity vs. Despair 65 to death Reflection on Life Humankind Have I lived a full life? Wisdom Disdain

Draw any type of tree with things in it and

around it.

Internal: Spiritual Roots

Analyze Your Tree

Are You Spiritually

Dry?

“This is the account of the creation of the heavens and the earth. When

the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, neither wild plants nor grains

were growing on the earth. For the LORD God had not yet sent rain to

water the earth, and there were no people to cultivate the soil. Instead, springs came up from the ground

and watered all the land.”  Genesis 2:4-6

Oasis of Elim

Not This…

This…

The Power of a Spring

“The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when

you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Some of you will

rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of

homes.” Isaiah 58:11-12

Real Nourishment

Passive

Absorption

Active Absorp

tion

“Jesus replied, ”‘You must love the LORD your God with all your

heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest

commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the

demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.””

-Matt. 22:37-40

LoveCommandments Grace

10

Com

man

dmen

ts

LOVE

GraceForgiveness

Am I…Loving?

“And he also said, ‘It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—

the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty

I will give freely from the springs of the water of

life.’” -Rev. 21:6

Internal: Unresolved Trauma

Tree

Rings

My Life-Altering Moment

Your Life-Altering Moments

Ways a Person Can Be Abused

“The LORD examines both the righteous and

the wicked.   He hates those

who love violence.” Psalms 11:5

“There are six things the LORD hates - no, seven things

he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands

that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a

person who sows discord in a family.” – Prov. 6:16-19

Helping Victims of Abuse

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would

not be Christ’s servant.” Gal. 1:10

Unrealistic Expectations

“It’s just a walk in the woods.

I’ve always wanted to do

this.” – Michael Hammond

Healing Emotional Wounds

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy

burdens, and I will give you rest.’”

Matt. 11:28

External: Handling Difficult People

What Makes a Person Difficult?

Normal Traits Abnormal Disorders

Fools…“A wise person

chooses the right road; a fool takes the wrong one. You can identify fools just by the way they walk

down the street!” - Ecc. 10:2-3

Which difficulty do you have little tolerance for?

Narcissists

Narcissistic Spouses

MANAGE YOU…

FIRST

Healthy Boundaries

 “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.

Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then

turn and attack you.” Matthew 7:6

See Things from their Perspective

“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults

when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has

called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.”

- 1 Peter 3:9

During the Confrontation

“But to you who are willing to listen,

I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 

Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

- Luke 6:27-28

External: Time Management

Crazy Schedule

Time Matrix

Urgent Not Urgent

Important Crisis Quality Time

Not Important Distractions Time Wasters

“Terrors surround the wicked and trouble them at every step. Hunger depletes their strength, and calamity (crisis) waits for

them to stumble.” -Job 18:11-12

Stable Schedule:

Crisis

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

- Ecc. 3:1

Stable Schedule:

Quality Time

“I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions

on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the

Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

-1 Cor. 7:35

Stable Schedule: Distractions

“Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train

yourself to be godly.” – 1 Tim. 4:7

Stable Schedule: Time Wasters

• What has worked?

• How can you improve?

• Where do you need more help?

Questions & Answers

Follow

Christine Hammond, LMHCon Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn.

Find links at www.GrowWithChristine.com. Contact her at LifeWorks Office 407-647-7005.