fcm newsletter 2009_v1 (jan-mar 09)
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veryone is a philosopher when it
comes to love. Definitions are a dime
a dozen. Love is, says one person, a many,
splendid thing. Another sings, love is a rose,
fragrant and beautiful, but thorny and painful,and another suggests that love means never
having to say youre sorry. Shakespeare
wrote in Merchant of Venice, love is blind.
Gilbert said, its love that makes the world
go round, and Tennyson suggested that it is
better to have loved and lost than never to
have loved at all. I am convinced, however,
that most people, if forced to define love,
could do no better than Thomas Middleton:Love indeed is anything, yet indeed is
nothing. The modern mind thinks of love in
vague, nebulous, existential, and non definable
terms. Its something that happens to you,
people say, not something that you can
define.
This emotional, feeling-oriented, brand
of love is promoted not only in music and
literature, but by the popular media culture. Television promotes the love as
romance/passion model so relentlessly, that
even many Christians are confused about this
important subject. In fact, Hollywood has so
successfully infiltrated the Church with its
view of romantic love, that the person who
questions it or attempts to suggest an
alternative position is suspect as an unrealistic,
unfeeling odd-ball, if he is even understood. Iam aware of that risk as I write. As I proceed
to expose the unbiblical notions people have
concerning love, and attempt to
reprogramme the readers mind to think about
this subject Scripturally, I expect someone will
begin to feel sorry for my wife, or say, Im
sure glad Im not married to you. But I
proceed, because of a deep conviction that
misunderstanding about love is at the heart ofmost relational problems.
2009/1 FCM Newsletter Jan Mar 2009
THINKING
BIBLICALLY
ABOUT
BYMICHAEL L GOWENS
Special Wedding FeatureFCM ALUMNI
WEDDING BELLS
Herbert & Zuyi
David & Cindy
Benson & Felicia
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Old Wives Fables
Misconceptions about love are
commonplace, even among professed Bible
believers. The need for clear-headed, Biblicalthinking about love in this day of
disintegrating families, pandemic divorce, and
domestic redefinition cannot be exaggerated.
Lets highlight some of the most popular
myths and old wives fables regarding love.
Fable #1: Love is something one
falls into, something out of onescontrol, something that cannot be helped.
Most people, like poor Woody Allen, are
miserable because they look for love in all the
wrong places. Like the impotent man by the
pool of Bethesda, they spend their days
waiting for the moving of the water, waiting for
something to happen to them magically and
suddenly, waiting for their ship to come in,
oblivious to the fact that the only One whocan truly transform a life stands in their midst,
ready to bless those who will trust and obey
Him (John 5). Like the impotent man, most
people think of love magically, as something
that happens to them, over which they have
no control. For example, a man falls in love
with a woman. It is love at first sight. Five
years later, he decides that he doesnt love her
anymore, and in fact, wonders if he evertruly loved her at all. So, he leaves,
justifying his actions by the I-cant-help-
how-I-feel excuse. Society agrees that he is
right to leave since he no longer feels anything
for her, and even commends his bold step as
an act of self-honesty: If he is telling the
truth for the first time, then hes to becommended for stepping forth and living a lie
no longer. Life is too short to spend it with
someone you dont love. His wife must realize
that you cant make another person love you.
According to the secular mentality, this
husband would be a hypocrite if he stayed
with his wife. Better to be honest with oneself,
it rationalizes, than to live in hypocrisy.
It sounds logical, doesnt it? I mean, if
he doesnt love her anymore, what else can he
do? Right? Wrong! Contrary to the popular
definition, hypocrisy is not action contrary to
ones feelings (i.e. feeling one way but doing
another) but action contrary to ones
profession (i.e. saying one thing but doing
another). If we say we that we have fellowship with
him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not thetruthsays John (1 John 1:6). He that saith, I
know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a
liar, and the truth is not in him (1 John 2:4).
Hypocrisy is the failure to practise what you
preach, not the denial of some inner emotion.
When Jesus called the Pharisees hypocrites,
was He saying that they were not being honest
with themselves? Did He accuse them of
living contrary to their feelings? No, Heaccused them of giving lip service to the Law
of God while refusing to practice its tenets.
Society conditions us to think of
feelings as the ultimate guide to behaviour. It
cant be wrong when it feels so right, a song
popularized in the 1970s suggested.
Somehow, we have come to believe that
emotions are indicators of reality and tocontradict them is tantamount to hypocrisy.
Someone says, I would have been at church
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yesterday, but I didnt feel very spiritual and I
didnt want to be a hypocrite. May I suggest
that the person who has named the name of
Christ in public profession acts hypocritically
by staying home, not by contradicting hisemotions, because his action is inconsistent
with the profession he made to follow Jesus
Christ. The prevalent idea that a behaviour
orientation (i.e. doing right because it is right)
toward life is sub-spiritual and that only a
feeling orientation (i.e. doing right only if you
feel like it) is pleasing to God is unbiblical.
Undoubtedly, because this husband
had promised, before God, to love his wife
until death, his hypocrisy was in the act of
deserting his wife, not in staying with her and
fulfilling his marriage vows. The world says,
at least he was honest. Gods Word says,
he was supremely dishonest, for he broke the
vow he had made before God.
Have you ever thought about such a
familiar scenario as Ive described from this
Biblical perspective? Im convinced many
people have not. In fact, many Christians
would be surprised to know that the Bible
says nothing about a kind of love one falls
into.
Fable #2 - Romantic love is thebasis for marriage. Without question, most
people believe that it is wrong to get married
when romantic love is absent. In Biblical
times, however, marriages were frequently
arranged by parents. On many occasions, a
husband never laid eyes on his wife until he
removed the veil on the wedding day.Granted, such practices are difficult for
people in a culture like ours to conceive. I am
personally grateful that I had a choice in the
selection of a life partner; nevertheless, the
pre-arranged relationships of eastern cultures
were just as viable, if not more, than modern
marriages in the west.
It may surprise the reader to know thatpeople actually once covenanted in marriage
though they were not romantically involved
and proceeded to develop a fulfilling, durable,
and enjoyable relationship. How did they do it?
They learned to love one another. Learned
to love? Yes, learned to love. This does not
sound nearly so foreign when one remembers
the structure of the traditional wedding
ceremony. During the ceremony, the ministerdoes not attempt to discern whether the
couple loves one another. He asks each to
promise and to vow to love the other. He
does not ask, Do you really feel love, true
love, for each other? He insists that they
consider love as an obligation of marriage:
Will you promise to love... until death do you
part?
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Promise to love? You may wonder,
How can someone learn to have a feeling?
How can someone promise to feel a certain
way until death? Thats exactly the point: he
cant. Emotions are by their very natureunsteady, inconsistent, and ambivalent. They
vacillate with the ebb and flow of
circumstances. But love, according to Gods
definition, is not primarily a feeling, but
an action. Biblical love is not the victim of
ones emotions, but the servant of ones will.
Marriages are predicated, consequently, on
each partners pledge to commit themselves
to act toward the other in a certain way, the way Gods Word calls love. Even if the
warm fuzzes of romance are absent; even
when the novelty of the relationship has
lapsed into the familiar; even when the initial
emotional intensity has levelled off, a couple
can still cultivate a loving, satisfying, and
God-honouring relationship that is based on
a mutual commitment to the others
welfare and obedience to the Word of God.In fact, that is the marital ideal, according to
the Bible.
Fable #3 - Loving oneself is basic
and fundamental to a happy, stable life. It
was once generally accepted that mans
greatest problem was pride, an inordinate self-
interest. Now society tells us that mans
greatest problem is that he thinks, not too
highly of himself but too lowly. He has low
self-esteem. Virtually every vice, from
disruptive behaviour to murder, is interpreted
as an expression of low self-esteem.
Interpreting human behaviour through the
philosophical grid of victimism,
psychotherapists suggest that the perpetrator
cannot really be blamed for his conduct. He ismerely reacting to circumstances that
displease him because he has no inner sense
of significance and personal worth. What he
needs, they say, before he can function
properly in a social context, is a new
appreciation for his own uniqueness, a new
sense of his own importance and dignity.
Once he has developed this love of self, we
are told he will have the motivation to resistdrugs, make good grades, and overcome the
feelings of despair that come with lifes
inevitable disappointments.
Pop singer Whitney Houston
promotes the gospel of self-love in a
contemporary song:
I believe that children are our future;
Teach them well, and let them learn the way;
Teach them all the beauty they possess inside;
Give them a sense of pride...
The message is subtly packaged in a
beautiful musical arrangement, accented by
Houstons captivating voice. She continues:
I determined long ago, never to walk in anyones shadow,
If I fail, if I succeed, at least Ill live and die, believing,
No matter what they take from me,
They cant take away my dignity;
Because the greatest love of all, is happening to me;
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
Is the gospel according to Whitney
consistent with the gospel according to Jesus?
What did Jesus say was the greatest love of
all? Learning to love yourself? Absolutely not!
According to the Lord Jesus Christ, Greaterlove hath no man than this, that a man lay down his
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life for his friends (John 15:13). The Lord
interprets love in terms of self-sacrifice, or if
you please, unselfishness, not self-
centeredness and self-concern.
Far from producing happiness and
stability, self-love breeds heartache and
confusion. Marriages disintegrate, not thrive,
when selfishness prevails. The moment each
partner begins to prioritize self before the
other, the relationship is destined to fail. What
would happen to a family of five if every
member adopted a self-absorbed mentality? If
each lived for himself and not for the other,what would become of the family? Sadly, the
answer to that question is all too apparent in
the demise of the home in western culture.
Im not getting what I want out of
this relationship, one mate says to another.
I dont think I love you anymore. I suggest
that this person has not even started to
understand the meaning of love. In fact, I
maintain that many people who say I love
you are really saying, in the words of the
automobile commercial, I love what you do
for me. Self-love is not missing; love is. I
dont think I love you anymore means You
dont do for me what you once did and I love
myself too much to stay here any longer.
Self-love, expressing itself in self-protection,
self-defensiveness, self-assertiveness, and self-
righteousness destroys relationships. It
doesnt build them. Christianity, on the other
hand, expressing itself in self-denial, self-
humbling, self-forgetfulness, and self-sacrifice
provides a rock-solid foundation for a
marriage that sings.
People do not have to learn to love
themselves. Because man was created in the
image of God, he is a self-conscious creature.
Sin has perverted and distorted this natural
self-awareness, however, so that fallen man
tends to idolize and deify the self devoting his
every energy and affection to the service of
the self. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh
argues Paul (Ephesians 5:29). If a man has aheadache, he takes an aspirin, because he
loves himself too much to allow his body to
hurt. If he is fatigued, he rests, because he
loves himself too much to allow himself to be
uncomfortable. On the basis of this principle,
Paul argues that men should love their wives
like they love their own bodies. In other
words, a man should take the same pains to
relieve his wifes burdens and promote her welfare that he takes for his own body. His
primary interest should be her well being, not
his own comfort. That is real love-selfless,
sacrificial behaviour that esteem other better than
themselves(Philippians 2:3). This kind of love
must be learned and developed, for it
doesnt come naturally. But in a fallen world,
it is the only kind of love that will produce the
happiness that comes from a stablerelationship.
Three Kinds of Love
What then is the Biblical view of love?
It is expressed by the Greek word agape.
Interestingly, agape was virtually a Christian
invention. Prior to the New Testament, agape
was used rarely in Greek literature. The New
Testament elevates agapeto prominence as the
single concept that best expresses the
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meaning of love. Agape is the God-kind of
love. It is a brand of love that is virtually
unknown to modern man. Instead, people
think of love in terms of two other Greek
nouns, eros, passionate or romantic love, andphileo, friendship or brotherly love.
(1) Eros - Romantic Love: When
most people think of love, they think in
terms of eros (from which we derive the
English erotic). Kittles Theological
Dictionary of the New Testament says
concerning the Grecian concept of eros: Thisis the passionate love that desires the other for itself.
The god Eros compels all but is compelled by none...
eros masters us and confers supreme bliss thereby... the
original idea is that of erotic intoxication.(p7)
This passionate, self-centred,
uncontrollable, intoxicating love is
promoted by virtually every sector of our
society. Romance novels, motion pictures,
floral companies, and record labels feed on
the public appetite for eros.
Does such a thing as eros, that is,
romance, really exist? Why, certainly. But it is
not synonymous with Biblical love. In fact,
erosis love in its crudest and lowest form. The
high and noble concept of Biblical love is
something entirely different. Yet when most
people look for love, claim to be in love,
or express love to someone else, they are
thinking in terms oferos. To them, romance is
lifes supreme glory and matrimonys supreme
achievement. When a couple possesses eros,
they believe that they have finally secured that
rarest of all gems, the priceless jewel oflove. They have arrived.
They fail to realize, however, that this
romantic attraction is, first of all, not very rare,
and secondly, only the beginning, not the
point of arrival, of a godly relationship. Erosis
the kindergarten of love. It is the phase in a
relationship when two people are attracted to
one another, physically, emotionally, and/orintellectually with a magnetic fascination. It is
the same kind of natural attraction that
motivates a female bird to select one mate
above several rivals, each vying for her
attention. That is not to say that erosis strictly
a form of animal passion, for, in contrast to
animals, people may very well experience an
attraction at the intellectual and emotional
levels, as I mentioned previously. But, like thebird, different people have different personal
preferences and what appears attractive to one
person may not appeal to another.
This attraction manifests itself by an
unusual preoccupation with another person.
When separated, the heart longs for his
company. When together, the stomach
flutters, the palms become clammy, and the
couple becomes oblivious to everything
around them. This is the kind of experience
that makes young people cow eye and
makes old people feel young again.
I dont deny that such a phenomena as
eros exists. Further, I concede that most
relationships begin at this level. But this is not
lovenot Biblical love, at least.
Because so many people mistake
romance for love, it is no wonder that married
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people fall out of love as quickly as they
fell into it. Once the novelty and the sense
of mystery is gone; once the initial excitement
has been replaced by the routine of daily
responsibilities; once one knows the otherperson through and through; once one
becomes utterly familiar with the faults,
foibles, and idiosyncrasies of ones partner,
those mellow, dreamy feelings can all too
easily slip away.
Neither is it a wonder when one
partner suddenly announces that he has
fallen in love with someone else and, in fact,has not been in love with his spouse for
years. How can these things happen?
someone asks. Why do people lose that
loving feeling? Because they mistake erosfor
love. The individual who convinces himself
that love lost in one relationship can be
recaptured in an adulterous relationship will
eventually leave that relationship for yet
another, and that for another, for he is livingby his feelings, and the intensity of romance
inevitably wanes as the sense of mystery fades
into the realm of the utterly familiar.
Just because someone may seem
interesting, fascinating, or attractive to you
does not mean that you are in love with
him. In fact, everyone will periodically come
into contact with others who possess
characteristics that intrigue and attract
attention. The individual who loves his/her
spouse Biblically, however, will recognize this
magnetism for what it is, an untrustworthy,
temporary, and potentially destructive
emotion, and will permit it no entrance into
his thoughts.
Sadly, most people make the discovery
and perpetuation of eros the goal of their
relationship. Even in Christian circles,
romance is frequently exalted as the marital
ideal. Christian books on marriage often
emphasize the love as romance model,
suggesting that the honeymoon doesnt have
to end. Is this a legitimate emphasis? Perhaps.But the point is that romance is not, in and of
itself, the essential ingredient of a marriage
that glorifies God and brings fulfilment to
each respective partner-love is.
(2) Phileo - Friendship Love:
Recognizing societys misdirected emphasis
on eros, some married couples have aspired to
a higher level in their relationship and have
redefined the marital ideal in terms of
enjoying the others company. My
husband is my best friend, says one wife.We just enjoy being together. We can talk to
each other about anything and everything.
Not only do we love, we also like each other.
The Greek wordphileo, translated love in
the New Testament, conveys the thought of
friendship love. English words Philanthropy
(love of mankind), philosophy (love of
wisdom), and philharmonic (love of harmony)are compounds of phileo, as is the proper
name Philadelphia (brotherly love). The word
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means to treat somebody as ones own
relative and is used in common Greek for
love between spouses, between parents and
children, between employers and employees,
and between friends.
Phileo conveys the idea of a common
interest. Like eros, it is a concept that involves
the feelings. The word carries various
emotional nuances, including to be content
with, to have warm affection for, and to
like or value. Unlike the Greek term eros,
which never appears in Scripture,phileo
appears some thirty times in the NewTestament.Is the friendship kind of love
important in a relationship? Yes. In fact, God
gave marriage, first and foremost, to satisfy
mans need for companionship: It is not good
that the man should be alone; I will make him an
help meet for him(Genesis 2:18). Togetherness,
consequently, is essential to a godly marriage:
For this cause shall a man leave his father and
mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two
shall be one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). The one-
flesh nature of the marital relationship makes
the cultivation of a friendship between
husband and wife a priority.
It is imperative, therefore, that couples
take time to communicate, spend time
together, make eye contact, and be attentiveto each other. By nothing more than mere
negligence, many people lose that person-to-
person contact that is so necessary to
maintain a viable marriage. He becomes
preoccupied with work, cutting the grass,
servicing the car, and paying the bills, and she
tends to throw all of her energies into cooking
the meals and taking care of the children, until
they one day awaken to the fact that they are
virtual strangers to each other. Togetherness
is the key word here, not mere geographic
togetherness (though physical presence is
important), but a sharing of the blessings and
burdens, laughter and tears, hopes and
disappointments, of every day experience as ateam and a unit. In the harried pace of daily
life-in the mad rush to fulfil family
responsibilities, husbands and wives who do
not take time to maintain and improve
interpersonal contact between themselves will
soon discover a distance between them that
seems impossible to bridge. Such a
relationship is not consistent with the Biblical
mandate to cleave to one another in acovenant of companionship.
Perhaps a wife who feels neglected or
a husband who feels overlooked is reading my
words. You can say a hearty Amen to the
previous two paragraphs. This is the message
you have been trying to get across to your
mate over the past few months. You are dying
for his/her attention. You feel unlovedbecause your mate seems to have no time for
you. Your marriage lacks, not passion, but
friendship. This is, in your mind, your greatest
desire in marriage. If you could just
experience this kind of friendship with your
spouse, a real relationship, not a mere
coexistence, then you would have found true
love.
Well, as important asphileo is in a
marriage, it is still not the essence of Biblical
love. It is not the ideal. It is not Gods goal
for us. May I make a startling statement?
Even in relationships devoid of romance and
friendship, a couple may still learn to love. In
other words, a successful marriage is not
ultimately dependent on either eros or phileo.
Even if you and your mate have long sincelost the intensity of romantic passion, and
even if you scarcely know one another
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anymore, you can still cultivate a loving
relationship through the practice of agape. A
marriage without erosandphileo is not destined
to fail, but a marriage without agapeis.
(3) Agape - Sacrificial Love: Im
convinced that most people do not think
about love Biblically. What we mean when we
talk about love and what God means when
He talks about love are two different things.
In fact, the eros and phileo concepts are so
deeply ingrained into our intellectual grid of
life that agape may be, upon first glance,somewhat repugnant to us. After all, it sounds
so unromantic. It is so contrary to what
Ive always thought, someone says. But agape
is the word the Holy Spirit employs (and in
fact, virtually coins) to define love over two
hundred fifty times in the New Testament.
What is this foreign kind of love
known as agape? It is the kind of love that
God has for His elect. God does not love His
people because He is attracted to them, for
there is nothing attractive in them. God
determined to love them in spite of their sin:
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that,
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8). Gods love is an act of the will,
not of the emotions. It is something He
decides to do, not something He passivelyfeels.
Further, he expressed his love by
voluntarily giving His own Son to die for
those whom He had purposed to redeem.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only
begotten son... (John 3:16). He covenanted,unilaterally, to do everything necessary for
their salvation. God the Son committed
himself to bear their iniquities and to suffer
the wrath of God in their stead. Voluntarily,
He divested Himself of His divine
prerogatives, subjecting Himself to death,
even the ignominious death of the cross. John
writes, Hereby perceive we the love of God, because
he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay downour lives for the brethren(1 John 3:16).
Love, the God-kind of love, is defined
by the cross. There we learn that agape
involves a commitment to the welfare of
another without any consideration of
worthiness in the loved one.Agape is a love
that gives to others, not that desires for
oneself. It is self-sacrifice with an aim to makethe loved one great. In a word, agap e isselflessness.
The key words in the definition are
commitment, others, giving, and self-
sacrifice. In simple terms, love is a way of
behaving toward another person, not a
nebulous, mystical emotion.
In Scripture, love is a command. Weare commanded to love God and love our
neighbour (Matthew 22:37). Jesus said, A new
commandment I give unto you, That ye love one
another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one
another(John 13:34). Paul said, Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and
gave himself for it;(Ephesians 5:25). Note he
does not say, Husbands, feel affectionate arid
romantic toward your wives.No, feelings cannot
be commanded, but love can, for love is an
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act of the will, something that one makes up
his mind to do and then he does it. Pauls
words, written in the imperative mood,
express a command that husbands are obliged
to obey. Husbands are under an obligation tosacrifice their own comforts and needs for
the benefit of their wives, in the same way
that the Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself
for the church. Likewise, Jesus issues the
imperative, Love your enemies(Matthew 5:44).
Does Jesus want us to drum up pleasant
emotions for those who have abused us?
Obviously not. He commands us to love them
by choosing to show them favour andgoodwill.
The Profile of Agape
In specific terms, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
profiles the characteristics of Biblical love:
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth
not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Dothnot behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not
easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in
iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things,
believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things.
Did you notice that Paul does not
describe what love is, but what love does? He
does not use adjectives to describe love. Hedoes not say Love is beautiful or Love is
wonderful. Instead, he uses verbs, words of
action, to describe love: Love is patient and
kind; love is not jealous, self-promoting,
proud, rude, selfish, angry or suspicious.... If
you really love someone else, says Paul,
you will treat them with patience,
kindness, and unselfishness. Do you realize
what that means? That means that when oneis impatient, unkind, jealous, and rude to
someone else, he does not love that other
person.
The profile of love in 1 Corinthians 13
can be summarized in four categories:
(1) Loves Heart (vs 4a,5c) - The
person who loves another behaves in
kindness, patience, and tenderness. Everyaction is born from a sincere desire for the
happiness of the loved one. Love does not
have a short fuse (is not easily provoked)
but is slow to wrath, suffering long with the
faults and imperfections of the loved one.
Love is the act of showing patience, not
irritability, when others falter, and kindness,
which is the proof of patience. Love doesnt
nitpick at petty annoyances.
Do you love your mate? Let me
rephrase the question. Do you respond to
your spouses little quirks and annoyances in
patience and kindness? If not, start now, for
God commands you to love.
(2) Loves Attitude (vs 4b-5b) - Love
displays itself by a commitment to unselfish
living. Notice the emphasis on self in verses
four and five: Charity envieth not [i.e. is not
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self-protecting]; charity vaunteth not itself [i.e.
is not self-promoting], is not puffed up [i.e. is
not self-inflated], doth not behave itself
unseemly [i.e. is not self-glorifying], seeketh
not her own [i.e. is not self-seeking]. Simplyput, love is not selfish.
Analyze the next argument you have
with your spouse. How many times did each
of you use the word I? Nine times out of
ten, selfishness is at the root of marital
conflict. Pride, self-interest, and egotism are
the antitheses of love. Love is never rude or
jealous. It esteems the other more importantthan itself. Do you love your spouse? Let me
rephrase the question. Are you denying
yourself for your partners benefit? If not,
then start now, for God commands you to
love.
(3) Loves Judgment (vs 5d-6) -
These two expressions, i.e. love thinketh no
evil and love rejoiceth not in iniquity but in
the truth, express what might be termed the
judgment of charity. Love involves giving
another the benefit of the doubt and
assuming the best possible motives, not
the worst. Love does not keep a record of
past offenses. It thinketh no evil. Its
judgment therefore is not coloured by
resentment. It does not take into account past
wrongs.
How many married partners have so
allowed past hurts to fill their hearts with
resentment that they automatically assume the
worst motive when the other speaks. Instead
of listening to what is said, they become very
artful at reading between the lines. They
constantly ask each other, What did you
mean by that statement? if the other replies,
I meant nothing more than what I said, they
react, Sure, I know what you were really
saying. They are more inclined to believe the
worst than to believe the truth. Conversation
filled with innuendo is a destructive habit for
couples to develop. But so is the attitude that
insists on reading the worst motives into thethings that one's partner says and does. It is,
in fact, very unloving.
Do you love your spouse? Let me
rephrase the question. Do you automatically
give him/her the benefit of the doubt and
assume the best of motives? If not, then start
now, for God commands you to love.
(4) Loves Tenacity (vs 7-8a) - Thefinal five statements suggest that love does
not cease. Like the rabbit on the battery
commercial, it keeps on going, and going, and
going. In other words, it is impossible for love
to die. Do you believe that statement? Think
about it carefully. I didnt say that its
impossible for romance to die, or for
happiness to die, but for love to die. Neither
did I say that it is impossible for a person to
cease to be committed to the other. But where
commitment is present, it is impossible to
destroy that relationship. Heavy burdens
cannot destroy it, for love beareth all things.
Suspicion cannot destroy it, for love
believeth all things. Discouragement cannot
destroy it, for love hopeth all things.
Difficult trials cannot destroy it, for love
endureth all things. In fact nothing can
destroy it, for love never faileth, that is, it
never ceases. Many waters cannot quench love
(Song of Solomon 8:7).
When one person is committed to self-
sacrifice for the benefit of another, no burden
will be too heavy. Love is the willingness to
bear all burdens, to trust your partner
implicitly, to expect the best, and to endure
the worst. Love is the commitment to keep
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on keeping on regardless of circumstances
around you, feelings within you, and
consequences ahead of you. Charity never
faileth.
Do you love your spouse? Let me
rephrase the question. Are you committed to
unselfish living for the long haul? Is that
commitment the sole factor in the future of
your relationship? If not, then start now. Take
the initiative to be kind. Bear insult and injury
meekly. Go out of your way to make your
partner happy. Forget about receiving
anything in return. Commit yourself to a lifeof serving your mate. Away with rude remarks,
biting sarcasms, irritability, judgmental
criticism, and petty egotism. Sacrifice your
own happiness for the happiness of your
companion. Focus on being the kind of
person God requires you to be and dont
attempt to make your mate hold up their side
of the bargain. After all, you promised to love,
until death, period. Regardless of your
spouses behavior, you vowed to love. This is
the kind of love that God commands.
On the authority of Gods Word, I
guarantee that every couple who lives like thiswill never meet a problem that will kill their
relationship, because charity never faileth.
Furthermore, as a by-product of sacrificial
love, the warm feelings of romance and the
quiet contentment of friendship will resurface,
sporadically at first, and more regularly as
your years increasetogether.
Eld Michael Gowens is the Pastor of Lexington Primitive Baptist Church, Lexington, KY, USA.
The above article was originally published in the Nov-Dec 94 issue of Meditations Magazine
(Smithville, GA: Sovereign Grace Publications, 1994), pp 1-6. Reproduced with permission.
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.
Wilbert Donald Gough
In marriage there are three rings
the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.
Author Unknown
Our love to God is measure by our everyday
fellowship with others and the love it displays.
Andrew Murray
Love means loving the unlovableor it is no virtue at all.
G K Chesterton
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FOREWORDBYELD DR BOAZ BOON
Dear FCMers,
I thank God for
His sufficient grace in
the growth of FCM all
these years. The main
purpose of this ministry
is to help Christians
practise Biblical
Separation in the various
institutions of higher learning in Singapore.
The Lord has blessed us with faithfulness
and joy of service in this important area.
However, there is a by-product of this
fellowship i.e., marriage amongst some
brothers and sisters in Christ who served the
Lord together in FCM.
This is indeed a wonderful by-
product. It is so heart-warming to witness so
many marriages within the FCM after the
members have graduated. The Lord has
brought together like-minded God-fearing
Christians in this loving way. FCM also givesthe opportunity for young people from
various BP churches to meet and get to know
one another through wholesome Christian
service. Of course this is not the main aim of
the FCM but it is an essential platform of
blessings that the Lord has raised. Many of
the married couples from the FCM alumni
have continued to serve the Lord fervently in
the various churches they belong to. I praisethe Lord for this.
Let me lovingly exhort you with
Hebrews 10:25, Not forsaking the assembling of
ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but
exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye
see the day approaching.
In Christ,
Eld Dr Boaz Boon
Overall FCM Coordinator
TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGEBYREV DR TOW SIANG HWA
1. Thou shalt not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever(2 Cor 6:14). Let God guide you inthe choice of a life partner.
2. Wives submit, husbands loveis Gods way to harmony (Eph 5:22,25).3. Hide no secrets: husband and wife are one flesh(Gen 2:24).
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NEWS & NOTES
4. For richer, for poorer operate one bank account.5. Pray, read Gods Word together, morning and evening.6. In dealing with children be united and fair.7. Abstain from favouritism.8. In any disagreement, be ready to saysorry. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath(Eph 4:26).9. Honour Father and Mothermeans double blessing.10.Renew your first lovebefore God often.
NB Matrimony was ordained of God; Hollywood is out to destroy it.
Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa is the Senior Pastor of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.
Congratulations to Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), and Felicia Ong who were
united in Holy Matrimony on September 6, 2008. They are both members of Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian
Church. The wedding was officiated by their Pastor, the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.
Congratulations to Herbert Goh, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2006) & Overall Student Coordinator
(2004-2006), and Ye Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001),who were united inHoly Matrimony on November 22,
2008. Formally from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church, Zuyi now worships with her husband at True Life
Bible-Presbyterian Church. The wedding was officiated by the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.
Congratulations to David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), and Cindy Yeo who were united
in Holy Matrimony on December 13, 2008. They are both members of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian
Church. The wedding was officiated by their Senior Pastor, the Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa.
Jason Liew, FCM Poly (2003-2006) & present Overall Student Coordinator, transferred his
membership from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church to Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church on
December 28, 2008.
Jonathan Ng, FCM SMU (2006-date), stepped down as the Student Coordinator of FCM SMU.
Carol Leong, an original founding member at FCM SMUs inception in 2005, is FCM SMUs new Student
Coordinator.
FCM Poly organised an excursion to SP & NP Open House on January 10, 2009.
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We like to thank God
for leading us through our
days from singlehood,
courtship to marriage. This
testimony will be based more
on my thoughts, as Herbert
is very tied-down with
schoolwork. Please do pray
for him.
Thank God forproviding a husband like him.
I must say that he has been a
great source of spiritual help
to me. A prayer that I made
many years ago for a
husband has actually
materialized. To be frank, I
even doubted if that guy
exists! Well, thank God he
does.
We first met during
the annual FCM camp in
2003 after completing a year
of studies at the University
of Newcastle, Australia after
my Polytechnic. At first, I
did not have a deep
impression of him, though Idid notice him through his
service in the camp
committee.
After a few more
contacts through group
outings and night classes, I
officially noted him
gradually. Well, I guessed it
was the same for him too!
During this time, there was
much struggle as I was
praying very hard concerning
this matter as I wanted to
know Gods clear leading. So
there were times when I
prayed very precisely
concerning issues thatbothered me concerning him.
Thank God they were
answered and God clear my
thoughts.
When we were
contemplating courtship,
Herbert shared with me that
the purpose of getting
together is not just all about
companionship, but to help
each other to serve and love
the Lord better. That really
struck me and I thought it is
true. Thank God for his
sharing as it really helped us
to have the right focus when
we were together.
Being in different
churches was never easy in a
courtship. We were both
very much involved in our
ministries. There was also
little time to meet up, as
work was tough for both of
us. There were times of trials
and frustrations. But our
good God has kept us
together till the day we took
our vows.
PRAYER FOR A GODLY HUSBAND:
GOH ZUYI SHARES HER TESTIMONYTEXTGOH ZUYI PHOTOSJING KAI
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As we start our lives
together, we covet your
prayers that the Lord will
continue to keep us focused.
Thank God for helping meto get a job that has more
flexibility of time so that I
can spend more time to take
care of Herbert and the
house chores.
Personally, I thank
God for FCM Not because
it has helped me, or many
others to find our life
partners; but because I have
gained much spiritually from
the Bible studies and godlyfellowship. Without Gods
Word to guide, it will be vain
to find a partner who is a
Christian in name. So may
the current FCMers stay
focus on seeking Gods
Word and His truth. The
Lord will surely help you to
find your godly partner in
time to come!
I will like to end with one of
our favourite verses, Keep thy
heart with all diligence; for out of
it are the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
Goh Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001), is worshipping at True Life Bible-Presbyterian Church. She is now a Piano Teacher.
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David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), was able to take time out of his busy schedule and share hiscourtship experience with us. This is what became of it.
Could you please tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to know the Lord?
Im currently working as a Research Scientist at DSO (Defence Science Organisation). I first
started going to church 16 years ago in 1993 at the age of 11 when my mother brought me to a
church at Meridien Hotel. I was baptised there at the age of 13. Then the worship changed to
become Charismatic and I left soon after. My mother brought me to another church at Carlton
Hotel a few years after but it was Charismatic too and I did not stay long. My mother brought meto yet another church at ACS(I) when I was in JC but felt empty there so I stopped attending.
Then I joined the army. My neighbour, who is from Calvary Pandan (Mandarin Congregation),
invited me to church 8 years ago in 2001 when I was 19. When I told him that I didnt want to
attend a concert church, he assured me that the worship services are very traditional. When he
described the style of worship, the pews and the hymn books, I told him that "this is the church I
have been waiting to go to". So he brought me there, I joined the Mandarin Service and the
Chinese YF. About 2 months later, I switched over to the English Service as I could understand it
better. I remained in the Chinese YF until the end of 2006 before joining CPYAF where I am now.
FROM LAB PARTNER TO LIFE PARTNER:
DAVID POON SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORYINTERVIEWJASON LIEW PHOTOSYAO HUI
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How did you come to know about FCM and what was it which made you stayed on?
There were quite a number of Chinese YF brethren in FCM. Shumin was my YF group leader at
one time and encouraged me to join FCM once I enter NUS. After entering NUS, I immediately
joined FCM. When I first started attending, I was very much pleasantly surprised that there were
people of my age (or close to my age) who knew so much about the Bible. What impressed meeven more is the amount of content that each Bible Study Leader has to offer. Pr Mark Chen was
leading the group then for 6 months, followed by Brother Nelson for two years and subsequently
Ling Kang for another 6 months during my 3 years in FCM. They really dug deep into Gods
Word and fed us with a lot of spiritual meat. The amount of things I have learnt over the years
were tremendous. Thank God for the spiritual blessings and nourishment FCM has given me.
Thats great! Thank God that you have found FCM beneficial. What was it which you
found most memorable about FCM?
Most memorable I would say its the discussion, sharing and prayer that we have after the Bible
Study.
Under what circumstances were you and Cindy acquainted? I heard from her the both of
you were in the same course and year. How did she end up becoming your lab partner
and eventually life partner?
Well it was the beginning of a new semester. Cindy was late for class and everybody had alreadyfound a lab partner. I came even much later so I had to pair up with Cindy. She was a
lost Christian then so I invited her for FCM Combined NUS Gospel Rally and eventually to
SGBF on Reformation Sunday in 2004. It was a semester-long project and we had to submit
reports every 2-3 weeks and there was this one time, we worked till about 10pm so I asked if she
wanted to have dinner together. Eventually, the project was over and we graduated in 2006. Come
to think of it, we were disconnected for about two years. We emailed each other and got
reacquainted in December that year (because she owes me a meal). Heh. Later she started coming
for SGBF regularly and by Gods grace, she was saved on April 23, 2007. On May 13, 2007 she
gave me a reply for the question I asked her on February 14
Ooh what did you ask her?
I asked her if we could be more than friends. She said yes about 3 months later and so our
courtship began. Because we dont see each other very often, probably about 2-3 times a week, we
would call each other at night to share about the daily blessings and struggles that we face. We will
also take turns to share a verse on a different chapter of Proverbs every night. After sharing, we
would pray together for each other over the phone. In the morning, I will give her a call and pray
with her over the phone and commit the day to God in prayer.
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Wah I believe this is something we guys can emulate. How did you propose to her then?
Did you come to Proverbs 31 and asked her to be your wife?
Nope, I didnt. But thats a good idea too. Haha. It was about 7 months into the courtship, in
December 2007, when Cindy together with my mum and younger brother went on a holiday trip
to Tokyo, Japan. She stayed with my mum, and I stayed with my brother. I asked my mum andbrother for their opinions over dinner (without Cindy noticing). Later that night, after we had our
nightly devotion at the lobby of the hotel resort in Mt. Fuji, and when it was past midnight, she
said It's Christmas now and I took out the ring and asked, Will you marry me? She said
Yes.
Praise the Lord. Once again, I would like to wish you and Cindy a blissful marriage for
many, many years to come. Thanks for your time!
Thank you and you are most welcomed.
David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), is a member of Calvary Pandan
Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a Research Scientist at Defence Science Organisation (DSO).
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Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), was
able to take time out of his busy schedule and share his
courtship experience with us. This is what became of it.
Hi Benson! Thank God for your
encouraging graduation testimony in the Jul-Sep 08 issue of the FCM Newsletter.
You and Felicia are both teachers, correct?
Yes. Im teaching at Greenview Secondary
School and Felicia is a teacher at Changkat
Changi Secondary School.
This is poetic. I heard that you actually got to know Felicia while you two were still
secondary school students... but did not get together until only about 7 years ago in 2002.
What was the transformation from an unbelieving couple to a Christian couple like?
Thats correct. Well, it wasnt an easy one. We were unbelievers when we first started dating.
Initially, there was a lot of resistance from Felicia after she learnt that I had become a Christian
(my aunt brought my sister and I to Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian Church in 2004 when I was in
NTU Year 2 Engineering). She thought Christians were extremists because as Christians, we are
unable to do a lot of things, e.g. marrying an unbeliever. The tension snowballed and we kept on
quarreling more often because of religion so much so that we had to take 2 weeks in 2005 to cool
things off. It was literally like a break up.
Aiya so jialat? By then you would already have joined FCM right? How did you come to
know of it and what was most memorable?
FCM is often mentioned in the Gethsemane bulletin and Brother Boon Siang (from NIE then)
encouraged me to join. After attending the first meeting, I never looked back. I admit, school
work can sometimes be very tiring but I find that FCM can not only strengthen your faith,
increase your Bible knowledge, you can also sing hymns, chat with Christian friends its really
enjoyable and it became one of the ways for me to de-stress. =P Most memorable would be
A TALE OF TWO TEACHERS:
BENSON ANG SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORYINTERVIEWJASON LIEW PHOTOSWONG LIP MENG, TEO JUN ZI
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talking about God together through discussions and knowing that there are fellow students who
go through the same struggles as you (IA, FYP, assignment deadlines to meet etc). Aunty Helen
also chatted with us often to find out more about our struggles as students so we wont feel so
stressed out.
Anything you want to tell the current FCMers, including
your sister Cindy, who is now also in FCM NTU/NIE?
I would like to encourage the FCMers to hold on to the faith.
Dont give up. We may be very busy, but let us not lose our
faith. Continue to come for FCM. With God, you can do
more things. He can help you to manage your time moreeffectively, better than those who mug at hall/home.
Believe me, God can do wonders! I know its easier said than
done, but we must always remember to pray. God will give us
a clear direction according to His divine Will, but never cease to pray Matthew 6:33, But seek ye
first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Now, back to you and Felicia, how did you all resolve things eventually?
After 2 weeks of cooling off, we managed to sit down and talk again. I think open
communication is very important, to let each other know what you are thinking. When she asked
me whether I would marry her if she was persistent about not being a Christian, I told her that I
will need to pray also and see how the Lord leads. Sometime later, Felicias grandmother (whom
she was very close to) was hospitalized. Rev Wee and Aunty Helen went down to the hospital to
preach and witness to her. Her grandma accepted Christ before she passed away. I think God
worked through that way. She became more open about Christianity, started slowly going to
church, to see what it is about, etc. Initially she found that church-going requires a lot of
commitment as she had to give tuition over the weekend, plus her school-day workload, she
found it to be very taxing and the time could have been spent doing schoolwork, clocking tuition
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hours, etc. Though at that time we quarreled quite frequently, I prayed that the Lord will open up
her mind. Thank God for answered prayer. She attended the catechism class together with my
family and I. Together with Cindy, we got baptized in Christmas 2007 and Felicia in Good Friday
2008 after she accepted the Lord.
Praise the Lord. How did you propose to Felicia?
It was at one of the skiing mountains in Korea. Both of us were already working by then. I used
some snow from the ground, added some pressure and molded it into a heart shape. I knelt down,
presented the heart to her and once she opened the ice, the ring was inside. She said yes!
Wow. Thats creative! Before we go, Jun Zi has one last question for you: It is commonly
said that marriage is the tombstone of love. How will you disprove this saying?
Oh haha. Of course I dont agree. There are a lot of people who finds marriage torturing, a loss of
freedom, a lot of restraints and you cannot hang out so long with your female friends like they
used to. Think about it. Your wife is someone who will be spending the rest of her life with you,
either until you grow old or passes away, whichever comes first. Either way, you are spending the
rest of your life together with her. Definitely time will have to be taken away to nurture and grow
the relationship/family. With regards to priorities, I adopt this sequence: God, family, followed by
friends and work... Ask God for wise time management. You can really feel and see the difference!
Thanks for your time!I would like to wish you and Felicia a blissful marriage for many,
many years to come. God bless!
You are welcome. Thanks and God bless!
Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), is a member of Gethsemane
Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a teacher at Greenview Secondary School.
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BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF SINGAPORE
DECLARATION ON MARRIAGE[Adopted on 30 April 1972]
THE BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH of Singapore and Malaysia holds that Christians should
marry Christians, whether the wedding is performed in the Church or outside the Church. The
Biblical injunction: "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor 6:14) applies to marriage.
This portion is further elaborated in Chapter 24 of the Westminster Confession of Faith to
which the Church subscribes. The relevant paragraphs of this chapter read as follows:
1. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any one man to
have more than one wife, nor for one woman to have more than one husband at the same time.
2. Marriage is ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife: for the increase of
mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for the
preventing of uncleanness.
3. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry who are able with judgment to give their consent;
yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And, therefore such as profess the
true reformed religion should not marry with the infidels, Papists, or other idolaters: neither
should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying such as are notoriously wicked in
their life or maintaining damnable heresies.
4. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden in the
Word; nor can such incestuous marriage ever be made lawful by any law of man, or consent of
parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.
Members of the Church should therefore bear the above in mind when choosing their life-
partners and timing of their marriages and all ministers of the Church should do their utmost to counsel
their members to that end.
If one of the parties of an intending marriage to be held in the Church is not yet a believer, the
minister-in-charge shall, if the man is the party concerned, not allow marriage until he has publicly
confessed Jesus as his Saviour in baptism as the man is to be the head of the woman (Eph 5:23). If it
is the woman who is not yet a believer and she is willing to follow the husband, the minister should dohis utmost to bring her to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ before consenting to marry
them in the Church. If she has shown a genuine desire to confess Jesus as her Saviour and in fact has
so confessed, she should be advised to do so in baptism, if necessary postponing the wedding date
until after the baptism. If, however, there are extenuating circumstances that the wedding has to be
performed before baptism, the minister shall, in consultation with the Board of Elders of the Church
Session, examine the case carefully and make a decision prayerfully and judiciously on the merits
of the case, but always taking into consideration the Biblical principle and the provisions in the
Confession of Faith of the Church.
(End of Declaration)
Source: Bible-Presbyterian Banner(Jun-Jul 1976), p4.
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Dear FCMers,
The rapid pace of a student living in
21st Century Singapore can be very
horrifying, especially in tertiary institutions. As you begin another semester of hectic
schedules, assignment frenzies and project
rushes with seemingly impossible deadlines
and very soon exam mug-a-thons, may I
urge you to consciously set aside time daily
to spend quiet time with God in prayer and
in the reading of His Word. An ex-FCMer
once told me, If you think school is busy now,
wait till you work. Many failed the realchallenge at workplace and lost their
Christian testimony because they failed to
seek God first (Matt 6:33) while they
were in school. Let us set our affections on
things above and not lose ourselves like the
rest of the world in relentless pursuit of a
ridiculous rat race. Lily Tomlin rightly
observed, The trouble with the rat race is thateven if you win, youre still a rat.
However in the aftermath of the
financial tsunami, one is more preoccupied
with worries of the basic necessities of life
rather than being a glorified rodent.
Graduating students gawk at an unpleasantprospect of underpaid jobs and
unemployment, other than the insidious
FYP. What if the market doesnt recover?
What will happen if I cannot find a job?
What if I cannot repay my study loan?
What if I cannot foot my familys medical
bills? What if I dont have enough to eat or
wear? What if Well, the list goes on.
These are real concerns. These are lifes
essentials. But the real question is: Do we
worry or trust that our Heavenly Father will
supply our every need? Can we like David
say The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not
want (Psalm 23:1)? No more what ifs o
ye of little faith! DL Moody affirmed, Faith
takes God without any ifs. Yes, we need
FAITH: Forsaking All I Trust Him; thesubstance of things hoped for, the evidence of things
not seen (Heb 11:1). As Corrie Ten Boom
puts it, Faith sees the invisible, believes the
unbelievable, and receives the impossible. God
never asked for great men and women of
faith, He wants men and women of great
faith. Hudson Taylor testified, I have found
that there are three stages in every great work of
God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then
it is done.Remember Romans 14:23, for
whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
Read carefully the words of our Lord
Jesus Christ in His sermon on the mount
beautifully recorded for us in Matthew
6:25-34, 25Therefore I say unto you, Take no
thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what yeshall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put
on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body
EDITORIAL
CONSIDER THE LILIESBYJASON LIEW
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than raiment?26Behold the fowls of the air: for they
sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not
much better than they? 27Which of you by taking
thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 28Andwhy take ye thought for raiment?Consider thelil ies of the field, how they grow; they toil not,neither do they spin: 29 And yet I say unto you,
That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed
like one of these. 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the
grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is
cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe
you, O ye of little faith?31Therefore take no
thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall
we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:)
for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need
of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom
of God, and his righteousness; and all these things
shall be added unto you. 34Take therefore no
thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take
thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto theday is the evil thereof.
Allow me to direct your attention to
the words bolded in verse 28. In asking His
disciples to consider the lilies of the field,
our Lord was not playing mind games or
using any flowery language (pardon the pun)
with them but for their understanding (and
ours) drew a very vivid illustration from what was commonplace and existed from
the beginning of creation (except perhaps
during Noahs Flood), all the way to Jesus
time and even until today flowers.
Flowers are given to people for all kinds of
reasons: weddings, funerals, births, hospital
stays, anniversaries, birthdays and varied
special occasions. We see flowers all overGods creation. But oftentimes, given our
busy lives we hardly slow down to
appreciate the things around us. We do not
stop to smell the roses, much less wonder
about their design. Could we but pause for
a moment to think about a flower? Could
we be more infatuated with the Maker ofthe flower rather than simply being
captivated by its pretty appearance? Could
we scrutinize the intricacies of the parts of a
flower and attribute its splendour as a
wondrous spectacle of Gods magnificent
power and creative ability? Could we
contemplate on Gods beautiful handiwork
which we so often take for granted and
meditate upon the message our Lord is
trying to convey and have us learn?
Imagine, if the fowls of the air could
speak (except for parrots heh), what do
you think their opinion of us human beings,
men and women who are supposed to be
made in the image of God, will be?
Overheard in an OrchardSaid the Robin to the SparrowI should really like to know
Why these human beingsRush about and worry so.
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26
Said the Sparrow to the Robin,Friend I think that it must be,
That they have no Heavenly FatherSuch as cares for you and me.
~ Author Unknown ~
Ive really garnered great insights
from the above poem but if what the
sparrow said to the robin were true, that
humans have no Heavenly Father that cares
for us like He does with them, then I
believe we are of all men most miserable.
Thank God this is not the case, because
God does care for us (1 Pet 5:7) and thatour Lord Jesus Christ used an a fortiori(even
more so) argument at the end of verse 26,
Are ye not much better than they?As with the
picturesque lilies, the example of the flying
fowls uses an a minori ad maius (from the
lesser to the greater) contrast to reinforce
and drive home the point that we are of
more value than many sparrows (Matt 10:31)
and that even the worldwide fame (2
Chronicles 9), glory and pageantry of King
Solomon pales into insignificance as
compared to the design magnificence of the
lilies of the field. Still, we find children of
God behaving like the children of the world.
Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)
astutely observed,We tend to be over anxious about
our life, about what we shall eat,
and what we shall drink, and also
about our body, what we shall put
on. It is appalling to notice how
many people seem to live entirely
within that compass; food, drink
and clothing is the whole of theirlife. They spend the whole of their
time thinking about these things,
talking about them, discussing them
with others, arguing about them,
and reading about them in various
books and magazines. And the
world today is trying to get us alllive on that level. Take a casual
glance at the books on the
bookstalls and you will see how
these things are catered for. That is
the mind of the world, and that is
the circle of its interest. People live
for these things, and become
concerned and worried about them
in all sorts of different ways. (Studies
in the Sermon on the Mount, p433)
There is a prayer that many find
helpful especially in times of worry i.e. The
Prayer of Serenity, God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can, and the wisdom to know
the difference.Paul exhorts us in Philippians4:6-7, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your
requests be made known unto God. And the peace
of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep
your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.He
then ends off with one of these very last
verses in Philippians 4:19, But my God shall
supply all your need according to his riches in glory
by Christ Jesus.
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FLOWERS preach to us if we will hear:--
The rose saith in the dewy morn:
I am most fair;
Yet all my loveliness is born
Upon a thorn.The poppy saith amid the corn:
Let but my scarlet head appear
And I am held in scorn;
Yet juice of subtle virtue lies
Within my cup of curious dyes.
The lilies say: Behold how we
Preach without words of purity.
The violets whisper from the shade
Which their own leaves have made:
Men scent our fragrance on the air,
Yet take no heed
Of humble lessons we would read.
But not alone the fairest flowers:
The merest grass
Along the roadside where we pass,
Lichen and moss and sturdy weed,
Tell of His love who sends the dew,The rain and sunshine too,
To nourish one small seed.
~ Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) ~
The problem with us today is that
we have very little faith. Will O ye of little
faith! be the Lords appraisal of you? It is
because of this lack of faith (which is sin)that believers behave unseemly like
unbelievers. In a Calvary Pandan weekly
article dated December 21, 2008, Rev Dr
Quek Suan Yew wrote, God did not say pray
only and starve and die as you read the Bible. God
said seek Him first and all the earthly food and
clothing that Christians need will be supplied tothem in His time. Do you and I have this
faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for
our Heavenly Father to provide? It could
mean sleeping less, so you can serve God
more. It could mean saying no to freelance
jobs (like web design for me) that gives you
additional pocket money, so that you can
be an unprofitable servant (Luke 17:10)
for the Lord. It could just mean
commitment to the cause of Christ by
coming for FCM Bible Study and attending
fellowship groups and trusting the Lord to
help us in the wise management of our time
as compared to those who seemingly have a
lot more to spare simply because they do
not have the commitments a child of God
will have. Remember, seek God first.
Dont just rush through life. The
next time you pass by greenery, take time to
smell the flowers, consider the lilies and
contemplate on how marvelous our Lords
love for us His children is. The Lord is
good.
His Unworthy Servant,
Jason Liew
Jason Liew is the Overall Student Coordinator of FCM
and a member of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.
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Overall Student Coordinator Jason Liew (Calvary Pandan B-P Church) 9017 8213 jasonliewyf@gmail.com
Overall FCM Coordinator Eld Dr Boaz Boon (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) 9824 7681 boazboon@mytengah.com
Assistant Advisor Dn Peter Phoa (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) 9758 1469 peterphoa@mytengah.com
The FCM Family Contact Information & Bible Study GroupsAY 08/09
Bible Study LeaderRev Wee Eng Moh, BTh, MRE (Berith B-P Church) emwee@singnet.com.sg
Student Coordinator
Teo Jun Zi 9299 9501 teojunzi@gmail.com
Venue & Time
Blk 63, NTU Hall of Residence 13 (Eld Sims Home) 32 Nanyang Crescent, #03-1255, Singapore 637658
Every Monday, 6.30pm / Dinner @ 5.30pm
FCM NTU/NIE
Bible Study LeaderJoshua Yong, DipTh, BRE, MDiv cand (Truth B-P Church) yongbkj@hotmail.com
Student Coordinator
Carol Leong 9876 3151 carol.leong.2005@business.smu.edu.sg
Venue & Time
School of Economics, SMU (Seminar Room 4.3) 90 Stamford Road, Singapore 178903
Selected Fridays, 2.00pm
FCM SMU
Bible Study Leader
James Tan, BTh cand (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) jamestty@gmail.com
Student Coordinator
Eleanor Ee 9298 1643 enhui89@gmail.com
Venue & Time
School of DMIT, SP (Level 3 Tutorial Room) 500 Dover Road, Singapore 139651
Every Wednesday, 6pm
FCM SP & NP
Bible Study Leader
Lim Jun Sheng, BEng, CertRK (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) sa_jurong@hotmail.com
Student Coordinator
Samuel Goh 9181 7471 eleven_blue@yahoo.com.sg
Venue & Time
Main Library, RP (Study Area) 9 Woodlands Avenue 9, Singapore 738964
Every Wednesday, 6pm
FCM RP
Bible Study Leader
Ko Ling Kang, BTh cand (Calvary Pandan B-P Church) kolingkang@gmail.com
Student Coordinator
Joy Ng 9112 1760 ngwenlijoy@gmail.com
Venue & Time
Faculty of Science, NUS (Seminar Room 13) 6 Science Drive 2, Singapore 117546
Every Wednesday, 5.15pm / Dinner @ 7.30pm
FCM NUS
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