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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATIONINTERPERSONAL

COMMUNICATION

Communication DefinedCommunication Defined

* The process of human beings responding to the symbolic behavior of other humans.

* The process of using verbal and nonverbal cues to transact mutually understood meanings betweentwo or more people within a particular contextAnd environment.

Linear Communication ModelLinear Communication Model

Interactive Communication Model

Transactional Communcation Model

Types of CommunicationTypes of Communication

Intrapersonal CommunicationIntrapersonal Communication

Dyadic/Interpersonal CommunicationDyadic/Interpersonal Communication

Small Group CommunicationSmall Group Communication

Public Communication (Speaking)Public Communication (Speaking)

Mass CommunicationMass Communication

Communication Satisfies NeedsCommunication Satisfies Needs

Physical health -Physical health -

Identity needs -Identity needs -

Social needs -Social needs -

Practical needs -Practical needs -

Is there an ideal way to communicate?

What makes a communicator competent?

Have a wide range of behaviors (strategies) to Have a wide range of behaviors (strategies) to accomplish your communication goals.accomplish your communication goals.

Select the behaviors that are most appropriate for a Select the behaviors that are most appropriate for a particular situation & be skillful in performing particular situation & be skillful in performing these behaviorsthese behaviors

Have the ability to be empathic and the ability to Have the ability to be empathic and the ability to look from other peoples perspectives.look from other peoples perspectives.

Monitor your communication & adjust Monitor your communication & adjust accordinglyaccordingly

Will communication solve all problems?

Is communicating always a good thing?

Is more communication always better?

Are meanings found in words or people?

Can a single event or person cause another’s reaction?

Does communication require complete understanding?

Will communication solve all problems?

Is communicating always a good thing?

Is more communication always better?

Are meanings found in words or people?

Can a single event or person cause another’s reaction?

Does communication require complete understanding?

“The reality you believe in is the one you perceive.”

Our Perceptions May Not Be AccurateOur Perceptions May Not Be Accurate 1. We attribute meaning to behavior whether accurate or not1. We attribute meaning to behavior whether accurate or not

We often judge ourselves more charitably than others.We often judge ourselves more charitably than others. We are influenced by what is most obviousWe are influenced by what is most obvious We cling to first impressions, even if wrongWe cling to first impressions, even if wrong We tend to assume others are similar to usWe tend to assume others are similar to us We tend to favor negative impressions over positive onesWe tend to favor negative impressions over positive ones We blame innocent victims for their misfortunesWe blame innocent victims for their misfortunes

2. Situational Factors also influence our perceptions2. Situational Factors also influence our perceptions

3. Culture influences what we notice & how we interpret behavior3. Culture influences what we notice & how we interpret behavior

4.The ability to empathize also influences perception4.The ability to empathize also influences perception

Perceiving the SelfPerceiving the Self

Self ConceptSelf Concept Significant OtherSignificant Other PersonalityPersonality Self-Fulfilling ProphecySelf-Fulfilling Prophecy Self-concept both shapes and is affected by Self-concept both shapes and is affected by

communication communication

Impression ManagementImpression Management

Perceived SelfPerceived Self Presenting SelfPresenting Self High self-monitorsHigh self-monitors Low self-monitorsLow self-monitors Impression management includes manner (v Impression management includes manner (v

& nv), appearance, setting& nv), appearance, setting CMC = more control over what & how we CMC = more control over what & how we

communicatecommunicate

“We all have ability. The Difference is how we use it.”

Stevie WonderStevie Wonder

Language As A Meaning SystemLanguage As A Meaning System

Meanings are denotative and connotativeMeanings are denotative and connotative Meaning are in peopleMeaning are in people Meanings need referentsMeanings need referents Meanings are infinite in numberMeanings are infinite in number Meanings are communicated only partiallyMeanings are communicated only partially

Language is PowerfulLanguage is Powerful

Does language shape or influence our Does language shape or influence our attitudes towards others?attitudes towards others?

Does our language reflect our own attitudes Does our language reflect our own attitudes towards others?towards others?

Language can create confusion and misunderstandings

Equivocal language:Equivocal language: Relative wordsRelative words Overly abstract language (abstract ladder)Overly abstract language (abstract ladder) Fact-opinion confusionFact-opinion confusion Fact-inference confusionFact-inference confusion Emotive languageEmotive language Evasive language (euphemisms & equivocation)Evasive language (euphemisms & equivocation)

Similarities and Differences between Male & Female Language

ContentContent Reasons for communicatingReasons for communicating Conversational stylesConversational styles Non-Gender variablesNon-Gender variables Androgynous communicationAndrogynous communication

Individualistic CulturesIndividualistic Cultures

Self is separate, unique individual; should be independent, Self is separate, unique individual; should be independent, self-sufficientself-sufficient

Individual should take care of self and immediate familyIndividual should take care of self and immediate family Many flexible group memberships; friends based on shared Many flexible group memberships; friends based on shared

interests and activitiesinterests and activities Reward for individual achievement and initiative; Reward for individual achievement and initiative;

individual decisions encouraged; individual credit and individual decisions encouraged; individual credit and blame assignedblame assigned

High value on autonomy, change, youth, individual High value on autonomy, change, youth, individual security, equalitysecurity, equality

Collectivist CultureCollectivist Culture People belong to extended families or in-groups; People belong to extended families or in-groups;

“we” or group orientation“we” or group orientation Person should take care of extended family before selfPerson should take care of extended family before self Emphasis on belonging to a very few permanent in-Emphasis on belonging to a very few permanent in-

groups that have a strong influence over the persongroups that have a strong influence over the person Reward for contribution to group goals and well-Reward for contribution to group goals and well-

being; cooperation with in-group members; group being; cooperation with in-group members; group decisions valued; credit and blame shared.decisions valued; credit and blame shared.

High value on duty, order, tradition, age, group High value on duty, order, tradition, age, group security, status, and hierarchy.security, status, and hierarchy.

Low Context Communication StylesLow Context Communication Styles

Majority of information carried in explicit verbal Majority of information carried in explicit verbal messages, with less focus on the situational messages, with less focus on the situational contextcontext

Self-expression valued. Communicators state Self-expression valued. Communicators state opinions and desires directly and strive to opinions and desires directly and strive to persuade others.persuade others.

Clear, eloquent speech considered praiseworthy. Clear, eloquent speech considered praiseworthy. Verbal fluency admired.Verbal fluency admired.

High Context Communication StyleHigh Context Communication Style

Important information carried in contextual clues Important information carried in contextual clues (time, place, relationship, situation). Less reliance (time, place, relationship, situation). Less reliance on explicit verbal messages.on explicit verbal messages.

Relational harmony valued and maintained by Relational harmony valued and maintained by indirect expression of opinions. Communicators indirect expression of opinions. Communicators refrain from saying “no” directly.refrain from saying “no” directly.

Communicators talk “around” the point, allowing Communicators talk “around” the point, allowing others to fill in the missing pieces. Ambiguity and others to fill in the missing pieces. Ambiguity and use of silence admired.use of silence admired.

Culture affects what we say and how we interpret othersCulture affects what we say and how we interpret others

Direct or indirect communication styles (low-Direct or indirect communication styles (low-context cultures vs high-context cultures)context cultures vs high-context cultures)

Elaborate or succinct styles of communication Elaborate or succinct styles of communication Formality vs informality style of communicationFormality vs informality style of communication World View of a culture is shaped by its language World View of a culture is shaped by its language

(Eskimos, Hopi Indians, North Americans)(Eskimos, Hopi Indians, North Americans)

“The right to speak is meaningless if no one will listen . . . If we are unwilling to hear

that with which we most violently disagree, we are no

longer citizens but have become part of a mob.”

Kurt Luedtke

“The right to speak is meaningless if no one will listen . . . If we are unwilling to hear

that with which we most violently disagree, we are no

longer citizens but have become part of a mob.”

Kurt Luedtke

College students spend what percent of communication time speaking, reading,

writing, and listening?

In what occupations is listening important?

According to marital counselors, of what importance is listening to couples?

Is listening and hearing the same thing?

College students spend what percent of communication time speaking, reading,

writing, and listening?

In what occupations is listening important?

According to marital counselors, of what importance is listening to couples?

Is listening and hearing the same thing?

What are the components of the listening process?

AttendingAttending

UnderstandingUnderstanding

RespondingResponding

rememberingremembering

Do you participate in any of these faulty listening habits?Do you participate in any of these faulty listening habits?

PseudolisteningPseudolistening Selective listeningSelective listening Defensive listeningDefensive listening AmbushingAmbushing Insulated listeningInsulated listening Insensitive listeningInsensitive listening Stage hoggingStage hogging

Why aren’t we more effective listeners?

Informational ListeningInformational Listening

Goal = to understand; receive the same Goal = to understand; receive the same thoughtsthoughts

What skills or approaches can help you What skills or approaches can help you become a more effective informational become a more effective informational listener?listener?

Critical Listening (Evaluative Listening)

Goal = to judge so you can accept or reject Goal = to judge so you can accept or reject based on merit.based on merit.

When should you use critical listening?When should you use critical listening? What guidelines would be helpful to What guidelines would be helpful to

incorporate when critical listening is incorporate when critical listening is necessary?necessary?

Empathic ListeningEmpathic Listening

Goal = build a relationship; help the speaker Goal = build a relationship; help the speaker solve a problem. solve a problem.

What are ways you can respond What are ways you can respond empathically to another person’s remarks?empathically to another person’s remarks?

What is the ideal style of listening that we should use?

Nonverbal Communication defined: Oral and non-oral

messages expressed by other than linguistic means.

Nonverbal Communication defined: Oral and non-oral

messages expressed by other than linguistic means.

Types of CommunicationTypes of Communication

Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

We’re aware of nonverbal communication We’re aware of nonverbal communication & we attempt to interpret it daily. It exists!& we attempt to interpret it daily. It exists!

Nonverbals add significant value to our Nonverbals add significant value to our communicationcommunication

Nonverbal communication conveys Nonverbal communication conveys information about our relationships information about our relationships

Nonverbal communication is ambiguousNonverbal communication is ambiguous Nonverbal communication is cultural boundNonverbal communication is cultural bound

Is nonverbal communication better at conveying ideas or

attitudes and feelings?

Is nonverbal communication better at conveying ideas or

attitudes and feelings?

Verbal and Nonverbal Communication DifferVerbal and Nonverbal Communication Differ

Single vs. Muliple ChannelsSingle vs. Muliple Channels

Discrete vs. ContinuousDiscrete vs. Continuous

Conscious vs. UnconsciousConscious vs. Unconscious

Functions of Nonverbal Communication

RepeatingRepeating SubstitutingSubstituting ComplementingComplementing AccentingAccenting RegulatingRegulating ContradictingContradicting

Types of Nonverbal Communication

Posture and gesturePosture and gesture Face and eyesFace and eyes VoiceVoice TouchTouch Physical attractivenessPhysical attractiveness

ClothingClothing

ClothingClothing DistanceDistance

ClothingClothing DistanceDistance TimeTime

ClothingClothing DistanceDistance TimeTime TerritorialityTerritoriality

ClothingClothing DistanceDistance TimeTime TerritorialityTerritoriality EnvironmentEnvironment

Spatial Distance(Edward Hall)

IntimateIntimate 0-18 inches0-18 inches PersonalPersonal 18 inches to 4 feet18 inches to 4 feet Social Social 4 to 12 feet4 to 12 feet PublicPublic 12 to 25 feet12 to 25 feet

Nonverbal Communication:Nonverbal Communication:

Is more ambiguousIs more ambiguous Is continuousIs continuous Is multichanneledIs multichanneled Gives more insight into emotional statesGives more insight into emotional states Meanings are culturally definedMeanings are culturally defined

Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal relationships are unique, Interpersonal relationships are unique, scarce in number, interdependent, and scarce in number, interdependent, and irreplaceableirreplaceable

Are all dydadic relationships interpersonal?Are all dydadic relationships interpersonal? All messages have both content and All messages have both content and

relational meanings. Which are more n/v?relational meanings. Which are more n/v? Do you metacommunicate?Do you metacommunicate?

Interpersonal Relationships need intimacy and distanceInterpersonal Relationships need intimacy and distance

What are the four types of intimacy found What are the four types of intimacy found in many interpersonal relationships?in many interpersonal relationships?

Does gender and culture influence how Does gender and culture influence how intimacy is expressed?intimacy is expressed?

Intimacy may create tension in toddlers, Intimacy may create tension in toddlers, teens, and adults resulting in a cycle that teens, and adults resulting in a cycle that creates some distance. What are the stages creates some distance. What are the stages of this cycle?of this cycle?

Stages of Relational DevelopmentStages of Relational Development

What is one difference between marriages that end in divorce

and those that repair their marriages?

What is one difference between marriages that end in divorce

and those that repair their marriages?

John Gottman’s 5:1 RuleJohn Gottman’s 5:1 Rule

Helical Model of Relational CyclesHelical Model of Relational Cycles

Self-DisclosureSelf-Disclosure

Is information that is deliberately revealed, Is information that is deliberately revealed, significant, and unknown by others.significant, and unknown by others.

Why might you self-disclose?Why might you self-disclose?

What are some characteristics of self-What are some characteristics of self-disclosure?disclosure?

Social Penetration ModelSocial Penetration Model

Sample Model of Social Penetration Model

Johari WindowsJohari Windows

Guidelines for Appropriate Self-DisclosureGuidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure

Is the other person important to you?Is the other person important to you? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Are the amount and type of disclosure Are the amount and type of disclosure

appropriate?appropriate? Is the disclosure relevant?Is the disclosure relevant? Is the disclosure reciprocated?Is the disclosure reciprocated? Will the effect be constructive?Will the effect be constructive? Is the disclosure clear and understandable?Is the disclosure clear and understandable?

If I shouldn’t disclosure my feelings because it’s “not

appropriate,” what should I do?

If I shouldn’t disclosure my feelings because it’s “not

appropriate,” what should I do?

Dimensions of Truthfulness and Equivocation

Communication ClimatesCommunication Climates

Emotional tone of a relationship Emotional tone of a relationship (the way (the way people feel about each other as they carry out their people feel about each other as they carry out their activities)activities)

Confirming & disconfirming messagesConfirming & disconfirming messages How do communication climates How do communication climates

develop?develop? How can we create a positive How can we create a positive

communication climate?communication climate?

Managing Interpersonal ConflictManaging Interpersonal Conflict

The nature of conflict :The nature of conflict : Expressed struggleExpressed struggle Perceived incompatible goalsPerceived incompatible goals Perceived scarce rewardsPerceived scarce rewards InterdependenceInterdependence

Defensive BehaviorsDefensive Behaviors

EvaluationEvaluation ControlControl StrategyStrategy NeutralityNeutrality SuperioritySuperiority CertaintyCertainty

Supportive BehaviorsSupportive Behaviors

DescriptionDescription Problem OrientationProblem Orientation SpontaneitySpontaneity EmpathyEmpathy EqualityEquality ProvisionalismProvisionalism

What styles of conflict do you display?What styles of conflict do you display?

NonassertionNonassertion Direct aggressionDirect aggression Passive aggression “Crazymaking”Passive aggression “Crazymaking” Indirect CommunicationIndirect Communication AssertionAssertion

Individual Styles of ConflictIndividual Styles of Conflict

Characteristics of an Assertive Message

Behavioral descriptionBehavioral description Your interpretation of the other person’s Your interpretation of the other person’s

behaviorbehavior A description of your feelingsA description of your feelings A description of the consequencesA description of the consequences A statement of your intentionsA statement of your intentions

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

Do conflict styles differ according to Do conflict styles differ according to gender?gender?

Do cultures differ in their conflict styles?Do cultures differ in their conflict styles?

Methods of Conflict ResolutionMethods of Conflict Resolution Win-LoseWin-Lose Lose-LoseLose-Lose CompromiseCompromise Win-WinWin-Win

Identify problem & needsIdentify problem & needs Make a dateMake a date Describe problem & needsDescribe problem & needs Partner paraphrasesPartner paraphrases Check your understanding of partner’s needsCheck your understanding of partner’s needs Negotiate a solutionNegotiate a solution

What are two strategies you might use as a non-defensive response to diffuse a hostile

situation?

What are two strategies you might use as a non-defensive response to diffuse a hostile

situation? Agree with parts of the argument that are Agree with parts of the argument that are

truetrue Seek additional informationSeek additional information

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