how and why to set goals (even if you fail at them)

How and Why to Set Goals(Even if You Fail at Them)

John Mathews, LCSW

Virginia Counseling www.vacounseling.com

Pick One Goal

I will go to sleep earlier Don’t overcomplicate

things!

Focus on one goal at a time.

Be Specific

I will go to sleep earlier

I will go to sleep at 11pm

When is earlier? If you’re in the habit of going to

sleep at 1am, then 12:45am is earlier.

But that probably wasn’t what you had in mind!

A broad goal gives you too much leeway.

Keep it Within Your Control

I will go to sleep earlier

I will go to sleep at 11pm

I will be in bed by 11pm

You can’t just snap your fingers and fall asleep.

The best you can do is create an environment

for sleep to occur.

For a bedtime goal, that means being in bed.

Refine, Refine, Refine

I will go to sleep earlier

I will go to sleep at 11pm

I will be in bed by 11pm

I will be in bed without distraction by 11pm

A behavior change can create a domino effect —

you may need to make some other changes, too.

The blue light from electronics can disturb

sleep.

It’s best to turn off all electronics 30 minutes before you’d like to be

asleep.

Now You Have an Achievable Goal!

Let’s Try One More Example

Save more money

Pick your one goal

Remember: Be specific

Save more money

Save $195 per week

Now get specific

How much money do you want to

save?

Is it Within Your Control?

Save more money

Save $195 per week

Save $95 per week

Make sure this is realistic

How much can you really afford to

save?

Refine!

Save more money

Save $195 per week

Save $95 per week

Save $95 per week by packing luncheson weekdays

How are you going to find this money?

You’re Going to Fail . . . and That’s Okay

You may not always succeed in reaching your goal (especially a daily goal)

That is okay!

Life is unpredictable, and we’re human — we have lapses in self-control, and our priorities change in the short and long-terms.

Consider this . . .

You can fail every day at your goal to sleep at 11pm, while still getting to sleep early enough to improve your health

You can fail every day at your goal to exercise for 30 minutes, while still exercising enough to become more physically fit

You can fail every day at your goal to eat a vegetable at every meal, while still eating enough vegetables to improve your health

Whether or not you succeed at a goal is

irrelevant…

It’s the progress you make that matters!

Thanks for reading

For a more in-depth look at goal setting, visit:

www.vacounseling.com/how-to-set-goals