how marriage works and why marital education (usually) fails
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HOW MARRIAGE WORKS AND WHY MARITAL EDUCATION
(USUALLY) FAILS Benjamin R. Karney
Department of Psychology, UCLA
October 1, 2010
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MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT AND VALUED
Over 90% of Americans will marry in their lifetimes.
Those in satisfying marriages live longer, healthier lives.
Satisfaction with marriage predicts life satisfaction better than satisfaction with other domains.
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“Our national goal should be no less than to rebuild a marriage culture.”- David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology, Rutgers University, Testimony Before the Subcommittee on Human Resources, Committee on Ways and Means, United States House of Representatives, Washington, DC, May 22, 2001
“The Decline of Marriage”- Editorial by James Q. Wilson, San Diego Union-Tribune, February 17, 2002
“’Culture of Marriage’ Disappearing”- Headline in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, January 2, 2005
MARRIAGE UNDER ATTACK!
U.S. DIVORCE RATES OVER TIME
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5
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Source: National Center for Health Statistics
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MARRIAGE RATES AMONG YOUNG ADULTS AGES 25-34, 1965-2010 (PERCENT)
Source: U.S. Census Bureau, 2000 Census and American Community Survey.
Benjamin Karney, RAND Corporation
SES AND THE PROBABILITY OF DIVORCE
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1015202530354045
Unemployed Poverty Welfare Income
LowMiddleHigh
Source: Bramlett & Mosher, 2002, Figure 26
FROM WELFARE REFORM TO MARRIAGE PROMOTION
Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996 (PROWRA)
Expired in 2002 – extended 20 times before reauthorization was passed in February, 2006
Final version allocated $150 million of TANF money per year toward demonstrations and research.
HOW TO SPEND 750 MILLION PROMOTING MARRIAGE
Advertising campaigns on the value of marriage
Education in high schools on marriage values & relationship skills
Education programs for non-married expectant & recent parents
Education & skills training for engaged couples & for couples & individuals interested in marriage
Skills training programs for married couples
Divorce reduction programs that teach relationship skills
Marriage mentoring programs
“Programs to reduce the disincentives to marriage in means-tested aid programs, if offered in conjunction with any activity described in this subparagraph.”
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…did it work?
THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO
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The Fragile Families study The promise of the “magic moment”
From basic research to intervention
GOAL: “To learn whether well-designed
interventions can help couples fulfill their aspirations for a healthy relationship, marriage, and a strong family.”
THE BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES STUDY
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If the best study of marital education ever conducted shows no effects, then we’ve got a problem.
What’s the problem?
How can we solve it and do better at improving the lives of families?
PUTTING ON THE BRAKES
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Identify the assumptions of current marital education efforts
Describe research evaluating those assumptions
Present an expanded model of how marriages actually work
Discuss the implications of that model for family polices and programs
GOALS OF THIS TALK
WHAT IS THE THEORY BEHIND CURRENT MARITAL EDUCATION
EFFORTS?
Think again of what the $750 million can be spent on: Values education Communication skills training
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1. Marital problems stem from not caring enough about marriage
2. Marital problems stem from not knowing enough about marriage
3. Low-income populations are especially likely to fall short in these ways
THE ASSUMPTIONS
ARE FAMILY VALUES DECLINING?
Thornton & Young-DeMarco, 2001 Monitoring the Future General Social Survey International Social Science Project Intergenerational Panel Study of Parents and Children National Survey of Families and Households
“There is very little evidence that the commitment of Americans to children, marriage, and family life has eroded substantially in the past two decades” (p. 1030).
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Marriage as central to personal fulfillment Cherlin (2009)
Low-income populations are less tolerant of divorce than higher income populations. Karney, Garvan, & Thomas (2003)
Single mothers on welfare delaying marriage due to fears of divorce Edin & Kefalas (2003)
CARING TOO MUCH?
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THE BEHAVIORAL MODEL OF MARRIAGE
DYADIC PROCESSES(e.g., problem-solving,
social support, attributions)
MARITAL OUTCOMES(e.g., satisfaction,
stability, healthy children)
The way spouses interact does: Correlate with satisfaction cross-sectionally Predict satisfaction and divorce longitudinally John Gottman pioneered this work
The way spouses interpret each other’s behavior does, too
Pretty obvious, right?
SUPPORT FOR THE BEHAVIORAL MODEL?
Karney/ 19
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Frequently! Gottman, et al., 1998 Lawrence, et al., 2008
But not always. Gottman & Krokoff, 1989 Karney & Bradbury, 1997
SO: NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS ARE BAD?
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Frequently! Karney & Bradbury, 2000 Paleari, Ragalia, & Fincham, 2005
But not always. The Doormat Effect (Luchies et al.,
2010)
SURELY FORGIVING OUR PARTNERS IS GOOD?
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The behavioral model is pretty thin conceptually
“A conceptualization of ‘the husband is unhappy because he doesn’t communicate well’ is about as useful a conceptualization as ‘the patient died because his heart stopped beating.’”
Heyman, 2001
WHAT HAS BEEN HOLDING BACK PROGRESS?
EXPANDING THE BEHAVIORAL MODEL
Initial
Satisfaction
Relations
hip Processes
Relationship
Outcomes
CONTEXT
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Strong associations between SES and marital outcomes point this way
Stress of all kinds is associated with higher divorce rates
Marital satisfaction covaries with fluctuations in acute stress over time (Karney et al., 2005)
Spill-over vs. cross-over
CONTEXT CANNOT BE OVERLOOKED
TWO ROUTE MODEL OF STRESS EFFECTS
Stress
RelationshipContent
RelationshipSatisfaction
Route 1: The Content of the Relationship
1010 Newlywed Couples; Schramm et al., 2005.
CONTEXT AND STRESS AFFECTS…
What we talk about with our partner
How much we interact with our partner
When we interact with our partner
Where we interact with our partner
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DOES STRESS AFFECT THE EXPERIENCE OF SPECIFIC
MARITAL PROBLEMS?
2 t effect size r
Wives .60 3.7*** .38
After periods of relatively high stress, wives perceived more severe problems in the marriage, controlling for changes in their satisfaction.
Karney/ 29
Specific problems mediated the stress spillover effect.
DO SPECIFIC RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS MEDIATE STRESS
EFFECTS?
Stress
Specific Relationship
Problems
Marital Satisfaction
.60*** -.45***
.01 (-.42**)
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Some problems are just worse than others
Forgiveness is a bad idea if it rewards the transgressor
Maybe forgiveness only works for mild problems?
EXPLAINING THE MIXED RESULTS ON FORGIVENESS
FORGIVENESS INTERACTS WITH PROBLEM SEVERITY
McNulty, J. K., O’Mara, E. M., & Karney B. R. (2008). Benevolent cognitions as a strategy of relationship maintenance: Don’t sweat the small stuff…but it’s not all small stuff. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94, 631-646.
less severe prob-lems
more severe prob-lems
-4-3.5
-3-2.5
-2-1.5
-1-0.5
0
more forgiving
less forgiving
TWO ROUTE MODEL OF STRESS EFFECTS
Stress
RelationshipContent
RelationshipSatisfaction
Route 2: The Processing of Relationship Problems
RelationshipProcesses
Karney/ 33
DOES STRESS AFFECT WIVES’ TENDENCY TO FORGIVE?
2 t effect size r
Wives .32 2.1* .23
After periods of relatively high stress, wives are more likely to blame their husbands for negative behaviors.
Karney/ 34
DOES WIVES’ FORGIVENESS MEDIATE STRESS EFFECTS?
Tendency to forgive partially mediated the stress spillover effect.
Stress
Maladaptive Attributions
MaritalSatisfaction
.32* -.20***
-.25* (-.42**)
CONSEQUENCES OF STRESS:STRESS CROSSOVER
Partner A Partner B
DOES PARTNER’S OWN STRESS MODERATE STRESS CROSSOVER?
Stress crossover should be greatest when partners have higher levels of their own stress
Partner A
negative
behavior
If Partner B has low
stress
If Partner B has high
stress
Adaptive response Little
crossover
Maladaptive response High
crossover
DOES PARTNER’S OWN STRESS MODERATE STRESS CROSSOVER?
Wives Low Stress Wives High Stress88
90
92
94
96
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Stress crossover was greatest at times when wives had higher
stress
Husband Low StressHusband High Stress
Wiv
es’ S
atis
fact
ion
SO WHY IS RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE SO HARD?
Is it because people do not know what to do?
Neff & Karney, 2004, 2007, 2009:
The same couples who can be forgiving when stress is low, are less forgiving when stress is high.
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The effects of skills interventions are likely to fade quickly They do (Blanchard et al., 2009)
Programs teaching skills might actually backfire For some couples, they do (Halford, Sanders,
and Behrens, 2001)
Marital interaction may not be a skill Think “capacity”
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR MARITAL EDUCATION?
Karney/ 40
THE STRESS-VULNERABILITY-ADAPTATION (SVA) MODEL
Enduring Vulnerabilities
External Stress
Adaptive Processes
Marital Quality
MaritalDissolution
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Because programs to improve communication do not have lasting effects
Because communication may only be a symptom of larger problems that marital education programs ignore
Because all of this is most true in the low-income populations that have been targeted
SO WHY DOES MARITAL EDUCATION USUALLY FAIL?
THE UNIQUE PROBLEMS OF LOW-INCOME RELATIONSHIPS
Problems for all relationships
Spending time together (F=2.72, p=.04) Sex (F=1.90, p=.13) Each other’s parents (F=2.56, p=.05) Being a parent/having children (F=.42, p=.74) Communication (F=.97, p=.41) Household chores (F=.89, p=.44)
Problems more severe in lower income
Money (F=14.83, p<.0001) Drinking/drug use (F=13.64, p<.0001) Being faithful (F=11.97,p<.0001) Friends (F=10.79,p<.0001)
SUMMARY OF PROBLEM ANALYSES
The problems addressed by relationship skills classes are not more severe in low-income couples.
The problems that are especially severe for low-income couples may be independent of relationship skills and attitudes.
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Marriage-friendly environments: Health care Child care Living wage for working people
Does this work? Norway (Hardoy & Schone, 2008)
Money as a marital aid
NEW DIRECTIONS FOR SUPPORTING MARRIAGE
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