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Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
RAPE IN SOUTHSIDE! This could be next week's headline
Riff-raff at STOIC
Richard O'Brien who wrote the music, screenplay and starred
in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the recently released
Shock Treatment was interviewed by STOIC in the College
TV Studio on Wednesday, January 13.
In Shock Treatment, Richard plays the evil Cosmo
McKinley (pictured above). For full review see back page.
The interview will be broadcast by STOIC on Tuesday at
1:00pm and 6:00pm.
The security of the Southside Halls of Residence has still not
been adequately improved following the rape which occurred
there over one and a half years ago and numerous thefts. A
new system of electronic locks has not yet been installed,
despite indications from the Estates section that they would
do so over the Christmas vacation.
F o l l o w i n g a rape in the basement of Southside i n M a y 1980 it was
decided that access to the halls was too easy a n d that a new system of
locks should be instal led. T h e m a i n prob lem was l ire doors w o u l d have
to be locked, so a n electronic system was necessary w i t h locks l i n k ed to
the fire a l a r m system w h i c h w o u l d automat i ca l ly open if a fire broke out.
A system was suggested a n d a quotat ion obtained. T h i s proved " too
expensive" and was shelved when major s tructural changes were pro
posed to combat the same prob lem.
A less expensive system was investigated last year w h i c h , at a cost o f
a p p r o x i m a t e l y / ' 3 , 5 0 0 , w o u l d adequately d o t h e j o b . T h e C h i e f Securi ty
Off icer , M r Reeves, persuaded Estates that this system w o u l d be needed
if the s tructura l changes went ahead or not.
U n i o n P r e s s u r e
Last term the Union President. M r N i c k M o r t o n , a n d Wel fare
Off icer. M r N i c k Pyne , pressed Estates for a n instal lat ion date on
Student Residence C o m m i t t e e . T h e ind i cat i on was c learly given that
this w o u l d be done over the C h r i s t m a s vacat ion , but it was not.
M r D o n C l a r k e , Estates Secretary, to ld F E L I X that he d i d not know
w h y the system h a d not been installed. " M o s t o f m y people are out
t o d a y , " he said, " the ra i l strike, you k n o w . "
T h e reason for the delay is sti l l not clear at the t ime of go ing to press.
Q E C Merger
Off!
The proposed merger between Imperial College and Queen
Elizabeth College has been shelved for the time being.
A t the end of last term the draft proposal horn L o r d Flowers a n d D r
Barnes (Pr inc ipa l of Q E C ) was amended by I C ' s B o a r d ol Studies. T h i s
amended draft proposal was submitted to the G o v e r n i n g Body a n d
passed. A l t e r such changes it was not surpr is ing that the new proposals
proved unacceptable to the A c a d e m i c Board and Col lege C o u n c i l of
Q E C .
T h e Rector , L o r d Flowers, told F E L I X that as far as h e was
concerned " t h e door is sti l l o p e n " a n d that negotiations cou ld st i l l
continue. It seems, however, that it is up to Q E C to re-approach I C .
N o . 6 0 2 F r i d a y J a n u a r y 22,1982 F r e e !
Dear Sir
A n d r e w L y a l l ' s reply to my
l e t t e r was the p r e d i c t a b l e
outburst of feigned hurt that I
expected. H i s allegations are
nothing short of slanderous
and are no doubt the release
f o r t h e e m o t i o n a l s t r a i n
imposed upon one who has
l ived in a b u i l d i n g that is
col lapsing around his ears for
five years.
Not surprisingly he makes
us s c a p e g o a t s f o r the i n
competence of Weeks H a l l
residents and lays the ills of
the w o r l d at the doors o f
G a r d e n H a l l . H e complained
that my letter was not based
on facts and then proceeds to
make w i l d and unsubstantial
allegations himself.
It is more than likely that a
W e e k s H a l l r e s i d e n t p u t
w a s h i n g p o w d e r i n t o t h e
d r y i n g machine. Th is would
in turn explain M r A l l L y ' s
observation that d a m p wash
ing was removed from the
drier , as the average Weeks
H a l l r e s i d e n t c a n n o t d i s
tinguish between the washing
m a c h i n e a n d the d r i e r he
p r o b a b l y saw the c l o t h e s
b e i n g r e m o v e d f r o m t h e
washing machine and mistook
it for the drier!
Indeed I myself can cite one
occasion on w h i c h I removed
a c o m b a t j a c k e t f r o m the
drier and burnt my fingers on
it because it had been left in
for far too long!
T h e state of G a r d e n H a l l ' s
l aundry is not the fault of the
present residents and indeed
it could not possibly be as
it has been out of action since
the summer. T h e damage was
caused by tenants to whom
the rooms were let over the
summer. Besides breaking the
w a s h i n g m a c h i n e a n d the
dr ier they also stole the iron
for good measure.
A n d r e w L y a l l has the nerve
to suggest that we apologise
for damage caused by Weeks
hal l residents. I suggest that
he apologise to the residents of
G a r d e n H a l l for the damage
he has i n f l i c t e d u p o n o u r
characters by depict ing us as
noth ing more than vandals
and cr iminals .
J ours oppressed
D u n c a n R e i d
S i r
I read in F E L I X 601 M r
Twadowski ' s letter informing
your readers of my somewhat
unsocial work ing hours and
remcmlier well the incident to
which he refers.
O f course I appreciate that
a bicycle is the most economi
cal way to travel at 5:00am,
and also that M r Twadowsk i
h a d to u n l o c k his b i c y c l e
before pedal l ing it off into the
night, but w i th a hacksaw?
Tour ohedienl servant
Barney M c C a b e
Dear Sir
* Please could you include
the fo l lowing letter which is
a d d r e s s e d t o a l l t u t o r s .
Students wi th tutors who do
n o t r e g u l a r l y r e a d y o u r
c o l u m n s c o u l d d r a w t h e i r
attention to it:
To all tutors.
Every pound prollt that the
I C Bookshop makes goes to
the students union an d there
by eases the demands on the
College's finances.
F o r e x a m p l e , a l e c t u r e r
who recommends an under
graduate year to buy an ' A '
c a t e g o r y t e x t b o o k p r i c e d
,£7.50 in the Bookshop sup
ports the Col lege w i th around
£ 0 0 -
I n these d a y s o f s evere
f i n a n c i a l d i f f i c u l t i e s it is
therelbre of v i ta l importance
•that everyone who w i l l be
g iv ing a lecture course d u r i n g
the academic year gives the
B o o k s h o p t h e c h a n c e to
supply the " r e c o m m e n d e d "
textbooks.
T o enable us to do this, it is
of the utmost importance that
we know what books you wi l l
be recommending before the
course starts, not as is happen
ing now, tel l ing us after the
course has started. Th is is not
fair to your students or to the
Bookshop. W e try very hard
to stock a l l r e c o m m e n d e d
books, but we can only do it
wi th your help.
R o y Hicks
Bookshop M an ager
Dear Mark
I would like to draw a small
matter to the attention of the
student populace of I C . So
here goes
D i d y o u k n o w that the
U n i o n has been a l l o c a t e d
approx £150 to buy fiction
works and magazines for the
H a l d a n e L i b r a r v ? I repeat,
^750 of Y O U R M O N E Y to
buy books for Y O U R plea
sure and perusal. So, if you
w a n t t o r e a d t h e l a t e s t
i n t e r n a t i o n a l b e s t s e l l i n g
b l o c k b u s t e r o r s o m e t h i n g
more l iterary such as " M y
F r i e n d , M r L e a k e y " (Barney
M c C a b e ' s favourite) without
hav ing to shell out for it , then
this is what you do. E i ther fil l
i n a r e q u e s t f o r m i n the
H a l d a n e L i b r a r y or drop a
note into my pigeonhole. I
a w a i t y o u r r e q u e s t s w i t h
interest.
Tours hopefully
A l u n Griffiths
C h e m E n g 3
Dear Sir
I ' d l i k e to m a k e a few-
observations about last week's
'Soapbox ' article.
F r a n k l y , it seems to me that
F r a n k James is contradict ing
h i m s e l f . H e a c c u s e s t h e
Creationists of meglomania
(though for the life of me I
can't see why!) an d of i n
t o l e r a n c e o f d e v i a t i o n a n d
p lura l i sm of belief; and yet,
whi le he grants the right of
free belief to a l l , he strongly
ob jec ts to the C r e a t i o n i s t s
d a r i n g to state their unortho
dox views.
A s to the absurdity of such
ideas: has it ever occurred to
h i m t o w o n d e r w h y t h e
b i b l i c a l o r d e r o f C r e a t i o n
(Genesis 1 vs 1-26) is exactly
t h e s a m e as t h e o r d e r o f
evolut ion of life that he holds
as true? R e m e m b e r i n g that
the H e b r e w for 'day ' may also
be translated 'age', and that
the Bib le was never written as
a science textbook, the s imi
larity is really quite remark
able.
O f course, i f such views are
so absurd why suppress them,
since suppression w i l l only
strengthen them. W h y not
give the Creationists their say,
s i n c e s u r e l y n o - o n e w i l l
believe them.
A point worth noting is tha:
D a r w i n is p r o b a b l y not
revolving in his pine box. H e
was a C h r i s t i a n , a n d sa id
himself that he saw no reason
w h v h i s t h e o r i e s s h o u l d
disturb a Christ ian 's view
point, and I agree with h im.
F r a n k J a m e s m a y l i k e to
choose to be an an imal ; but I
believe that G o d made me,
and that's really something to
be proud of.
} ours
L . M e r c e r
Dear Mark
A m a z i n g l y I h a v e j u s t
discovered an anagram for
N i c k M o r t o n that I a m sure
n o b o d y else has n o t i c e d :
Rector 's doormat.
As you can clearly see it is
only a round dozen letters
out.
Tours
M i c h e l l e Wr ight
C h e m E n g 2
Dear Sir
T h e Wisden- l ike recall of
great I C cricket events by
K e n Weale ( F E L I X , O c t 23
1981) should be extended in
the style of other noteworthy
s t a t i s t i c i a n s s u c h as B i l l
F r i n d a l l . Weale is correct in
stating that Dwarf , G n o m e
a n d S t u m p y C h i m p h a v e
scored centuries on the Devon
tour. But can he actually be
unaware that of these elfin
batsmen one, Gnome , per
f o r m e d the feat t w i c e — i n
successive innings? Surely a
detai l of immense significance.
Shou ld any aspir ing centur
ion believe that the necessary
prerequisite is to have ac
quired a s imilar ly picturesque
appel lat ion, he wi l l be dis
couraged to learn that in an
era even more lost in the mists
of t ime than that of D w a r f
and Gnome , the magic score
was a c h i e v e d by someone
wi th the lacklustre name of
B land . Wisden ' Weale w i l l
correct me if I a m wrong.
Continued on page 4
Page 2 FELIX, January 22, 1982
IC" U n i o n is shortly to make a
t e l e v i s i o n p r o g r a m m e for the
B B C 2 O p e n D o o r series. F o l l o w
ing an unexpected phone ca l l last
t e r m . U n i o n P r e s i d e n t N i c k
M o r i o n y e s t e r d a y m e t t h e
producer lo discuss the matter .
This ended a per iod ol silence on
the pari of A u n t i e Beeh; two
years have passed since the then
H o n Secretary Roger Stotesbury
submit ted the app l i ca t i on .
O p e n Door w i l l a l l ow students
here to make a p r o g r a m m e about
v i r tua l ly anyth ing . A f i lm crew
and studio facilities are to be
used, w i t h the B B C p a y i n g the
b i l l . S e e m i n g l y , n e i t h e r t h e
c o n t e n t n o r t h e s t y l e o f t h e
p r o g r a m m e have definitely been
decided yet.
O n l v six weeks between the
d a t e o f n o t i f i c a t i o n a n d t h e
ac tua l transmission is g iven by
O p e n Door. So I C should be
broadcast ing to the nat ion at
some time this term.
Media Evening
O n M o n d a y evening I C U n i o n
Publ i cat ions Board hosted the
Inst ever " M e d i a E v e n i n g " .
T h e event, held in the Col lege
T V Studios, inc luded displays by
F E L I X , I t : R a d i o , The Phoenix .
A l t e r n a t i v e P r o s p e c t u s a n d
S T O I C S M e m b e r s o f the Col lege
adminis trat ive stal l 'were invi ted ,
i n c l u d i n g L o r d a n d L a d y
Flowers. The intention was to
give these people a chance to
meet the students who work on
the College media .
Ii was generally felt that the
evening was a great success.
Lectures to cease?
There is a possibility that the
Tuesday luncht ime H u m a n i t i e s
l e c t u r e p r o g r a m m e w i l l be
suspended for the next session.
T h e H u m a n i t i e s C o m m i t t e e
has been asked by Col lege to
submit a p lan for a twenty per
cent reduct ion in expenditure
over a three year per iod . T h e
p lan includes suspension of the
Tuesday l u n c h t i me lectures a n d
a reduct ion in language classes.
However , I he plans have not
yet been implemented and may
be avo ided , if possible.
Nuclear War
Beginning at the END Last Tuesday lunchtime, a crowd of about 200 gathered to hear Professor Robert Neild, Prof of Economics, Cambridge University give the first of a series of lunchtime lectures under the title 'Nuclear War in Europe'.
P r o f N e i l d began by reca l l ing the recent rise o f interest in nuclear
d i sarmament due lo the non-rat i f i cat ion of S A L T 2 , the p lanned
i n s t a l l a t i o n o f C r u i s e missiles in E u r o p e , the Soviet i n v a s i o n o f
A fghan i s tan , a n d the election of President Reagan .
W h e n N A T O was or ig inal ly formed in 1949 there was a b ig
imba lance i n convent ional forces between the sti l l heavi ly a r m e d
Soviet U n i o n a n d the economical ly weak Western E u r o p e a n states, the
idea being that A m e r i c a n nuclear forces w o u l d compensate lor this
w i t h massive ' r e ta l ia t i on ' in the event o f Russ ian invasion o f Western
Eu r ope . Since then, the U n i t e d States has lost its nuclear dominance , '
a n d smaller, tact ical nuclear weapons have been deve loped—both
lac tors l e a d i n g to the possibi l ity that E u r o p e w o u l d be sacrif iced using
such devices rather than the U S m o u n t i n g 'massive reta l iat ion ' .
R u s s i a n t h r e a t
T h e r e are two v iews of the R u s s i a n threat , a c c o r d i n g to the
i r o l e ssor . O n e is the ' I s l a m i c ' v i e w p o i n t — t h a t the R u s s i a n s
cont inua l ly want to expand by invasion, a n d the other the ' r ipe fruit '
theory—that the Russians wait for capital ist collapse and revo lut ion to
b r i n g C o m m u n i s t governments to power, w h i c h c a n then be "helped"
by intervent ion . T h e ' r ipe fruit ' theory, he said, is the more accurate,
apart from the case of E . Europe , w h i c h was occupied d u r i n g W W 2
a n d is now a buffer zone against the West. In fact, the s i tuat ion is
rather reassuring in W . E u r o p e , since these countries are properous,
a n d there is l ittle chance of C o m m u n i s t revolut ion. But i n E . Europe ,
central p l a n n i n g a n d oppression has fai led, l eading P r o f N e i l d to
conc lude that the Soviet forces there are lor garrison purposes against
local revolt rather than for offensive ant i -Western reasons. T h e only
chance of the U S a n d the Soviet U n i o n c o m i n g to blows is over "Third
W o r l d i n v o l v e m e n t — b u t even this w o u l d tend to be at armslength.
C o m p a r i n g the policies of deterrence a n d defence, he saw deterrence as
be ing analogous to a r m i n g yourself w i t h a sword, to fr ighten your
opponent, and thus provok ing h i m to a r m himsel f Pure ly defensive
policies (as practised by S w i t z e r l a n d a n d Sweden, say) he saw as a
shield, without threat to anyone but an invader , and this not spark ing
an arms race.
Next Tuesday , F i e l d M a r s h a l l the L o r d C a r v e r , is lo talk on
" N u c l e a r Weapons in E u r o p e " as the next part of this series.
Reactor
fusion
with IC?
The t h i r d discussion document
p u b l i s h e d t h i s w e e k by the
U n i v e r s i t i e s C o m m i t t e e o n
A c a d e m i c O r g a n i s a t i o n other
wise k n o w n as the S w i n n e r t o n -
D v e r C o m m h t e e recommends
that the Un ivers i ty of L o n d o n
R e a c t o r C e n t r e ( U L R C ) at
S i l w o o d P a r k s h o u l d b e c o m e
part of Imper ia l Col lege .
T h e committee , after l ook ing
at p o s s i b l e r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n o f
colleges i n its first two discussion
documents , has now e x a m i n e d
the c e n t r a l a c t i v i t i e s o f the
university . These inc lude U L R C .
the Senate Institutes, the centra l
l i b r ar y facilities, U L U a n d the
central a d m i n i s t r a t i o n , amongst
other things.
I n the case of t h e r e a c t o r
centre w h i c h is a lready managed
a n d m a i n l y used by IC:, the
suggestion is for IC1. to take over
the c e n t r e e n t i r e l y , r e c e i v i n g
e x t r a g r a n t to c o v e r r u n n i n g
costs. It is hoped that costs cou ld
be reduced by sel l ing services to
outside users. T h e current cost o f
,£220.000 per year cou ld , it is
suggested, be 50% covered by
such income.
P r a i s e f o r U L U
ICON stops production
Editorial Board decides
T h e E d i t o r i a l B o a r d o f I C O N ,
the Imper ia l Col lege Rev iew ,
have decided to suspend p u b l i c a
t i o n i n d e f i n i t e l y d u e to the
current f inancia l s i tuation.
In the last issue, w h i c h w i l l be
publ ished on F e b r u a r y 5, they
state that they no longer feel that
they are justified in asking for a
subsidy from Col lege funds a n d
that the decision was entirely
theirs. T h e y were not forced to
cease pu b l i c a t i o n by pressures
from Col lege , they state.
T h e l a s t i s s u e c o n t a i n s ,
amongst other things, reviews of
the A l f red L a m m e r pr int display
in the Consort G a l l e r y , the R C S
Centenary Concert g iven by I C
Orches t ra , the O p e r a t i c Society
p e r f o r m a n c e at S a i n t J a m e s '
C h u r c h , P i c c a d i l l y a n d the I C
C h o i r Chr i s tmas Concert .
T h e section on student fac i l i
t i e s is f u l l o f p r a i s e f o r the
U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n U n i o n
( U L U ) . Af ter ment i on ing the
part p layed by U L U in repre
senting students on the Senate, ii
examines the t r a d i n g activities.
T h e conc lus ion is " T h e U n i o n
b u i l d i n g seems to us one of the
most efficient a n d economical
institutions in the U n i v e r s i t y . "
T h u s no further cuts are recom
mended for U L U .
The d o c u m e n t is a l so v e r y
c o m p l i m e n t a r y to I C , w h i l s t
j u s t i f y i n g t h e d i r e c t U G C
funding , w h i c h the Col lege alone
in the U n i v e r s i t y enjoys. " F o r a
generation it has been nat ional
p o l i c y to b u i l d u p I m p e r i a l
Col lege to be one o f the foremost
s c i e n t i f i c a n d t e c h n o l o g i c a l
institutions in the w o r l d — t o be
Br i ta in ' s counterpart to M I T . "
A n d , i n the w o r d s o f L o r d
W i 1 b e r f o r c e, " T h e n a t i o n ,
h a v i n g w i l l e d the end , must w i l l
the means . "
C o p i e s o f t h e d i s c u s s i o n
d o c u m e n t a r e a v a i l a b l e f o r
i n s p e c t i o n i n the I C U n i o n
Office.
FELIX, January 22, 1982
Continued from page 2
VVcalc himself was already
the centrepiece of many IC
cr icket ing legends by the m i d -
1950s. Most o f these, however,
w e r e not q u a n t i f i a b l e i n
numerica l terms or, if they
w e r e , t h e n u m b e r s w e r e
g e n e r a l l y q u i t e l o w . T h e
qualitative aspects were rich
in humour and drama and I
trust that these have been
passed on from generation to
g e n e r a t i o n at p o s t - m a t c h
convivialities.
They were memorable days
indeed!
limn sincerely
( inome
C a p t a i n "55
Summit , N e w Jersev
' I S A
Dear Sir
I, J . J . Seymour Cole , being
o f s o u n d b o d y a n d m i n d ,
hereby, due to unforseen cir
cumstances beyond my con
trol , wish to inform you, which
is to promulgate the fact, that
m y i n t e n t i o n s , as set out
below, fo l lowing intense deli
beration, and many sleepless
nights, are:
D u e to unforseen c i r cum
stances at the time of the un
foreseen circumstances afore
mentioned above (and al l that
c r a p ) , i n my o p i n i o n , the
higher echelons of the C & G
Executive have failed to m a i n
tain the active social image ol
Gu i lds U n i o n , especially with
respect to mascotry, which has
been reduced to a farcical level
with the introducion of v a r i
ous truces, etc., with al l res
p o n s i b i l i t y b e i n g r e m o v e d
from the esteemed position
which I have been proud to
hold, and entrusted to others.
Consequently, I hereby sub
mit my resignation lo the post
of C i t y and Gui lds U n i o n
Spanner Bearer.
} ours
J . J . Seymour Cole
Dear Sir
I feel that the U n i o n / C o l -
lege "us and t h e m " relation
s h i p has n o w d e v e l o p e d
be tween the students a n d
M i c h a e l A r t h u r of the Stu
dents Services Office, who is
now a- College employee, as
opposed lo a U n i o n employee.
A r e we to assume from your
references to fairies in the last
two issues that you t h i n k
M i c h a e l A r t h u r is "one of
t h e m " .
} ours faithfully
M s V e r a Hallets
Dear Sir
Re the ignominious bunch
of cock-suckers and hand-job
merchants that we in C h e m 2
have had imposed upon us.
W e wish it to be known that
we totally dissociate ourselves
from the egotistical comments
and " in- jokes" which they
choose to impose upon the
readership of your learned
journal.
lours irately
D a n n y O ' H a r e , R . J o n e s ,
D a v e A r m s t r o n g , R u s s e l l
Smith (Chem 2)
Dear Sir
I think that the suggestion
in the last issue o l ' F E L I X that
an "acc ident " should happen
to c e r t a i n m e m b e r s o l
Chemistry 2 is a scandal and
an outrage.
It is obvious that you are
t o t a l l y i n e x p e r i e n c e d in
dealing with such people.
T a l k i n g as a man experienced
in such matters, I can assure
you that any actions should be
entirely deliberate.
J ours
H.Cie l l e
Small Ads
• L a d y F l o w e r s a n d the IC Wives C l u b invite y o u to a f ree B e e r a n d B a n g e r s in the Rec to r ' s P a d (170 Oueensga te ) o n T u e s d a y , J a n u a r y 26 f rom 5:30-7:00. Eve rybody w e l c o m e , names to J e n in U n i o n O f f i ce by 5:00pm T O D A Y . • J a g o : D o y o u know of S H Q . C S S R ? D o y o u want t hem. M a y 7. • D e a r Dwarf , S t u m p y a n d C h i m p Have rece ived letter G n o m e . W h o is B i l l F i n -de l l ? Letter reads (see page 2 a n d 4). E n c o u n t e r e d N o b b l y . I n t e r p r e t e r ? T h e n what.
• E l e c t r i c gui tar . Satel l i te L e s Pau l c o p y . S u n b u r s t f i n i s h . M i g h t M i t e p i ck -ups , wi th s h a p e d hard case , on ly £85ono. S e e A . K imber , C h e m E n g 3 or 381-9571 (eves).
' P i o n e e r tune r /amp, bass and treble con t ro l s for e a c h c h a n n e l , h igh and low f requency f i l ters, A M / F M stereo, 2 5 w / c h a n n e l , £45. R i n g 584-0854. • N i k o n F 3 body , M D 4 motor dr ive, S B 1 2 f lash, N i k k o r z o o n 35 -70mm, V i -vitar ser ies . 1 z o o m 70-210mm, plus accesso ry . Every th ing is abso lu te ly b rand new, s p e n d we l l over £100, b u d g e t p r o b l e m , q u i c k s a l e £800 . P h o n e 636-0556 after 6 :00pm. • O n e set of t h e r m o d y n a m i c s notes for A e r o E n g 2 c o u r s e , s l igh t ly burned e l se in perfect cond i t i on . C o n t a c t S . W . N e i l d , thru le t ter- racks. • R o v e r 3 5 0 0 S , 1 9 7 4 , r e d , b l a c k i n t e r i o r , v i n y l r oo f , 3 8 , 0 0 0 m , v g c , £1250ono: Aus t i n A 6 0 1962, grey, red leather interior, 35,000m, £180ono. P h o n e T o n y , int 3521. • T h e R i c o c h e t D i s c o — L o o k i n g for a mo re p ro fess iona l d i s co thequ e for you r party o r s o c i a l f unc t i on? Don' t sett le for less, book the best. Con tac t C o l i n , R o o m A 2 , L ins tead Ha l l . • T w o g i r l s wan ted to m a k e up a g roup of 8 s o that we c a n app l y for a C o l l e g e h e a d t enancy f lat next year. P lease con tac t Ph i l i p A d e y , A e r o 2 v ia letter-racks .
• W a n t e d : lift to C o l l e g e f rom Park Walk , S W 1 0 , J o h n n y , Stan 's B a r -most n ights .
• I s there a C inde re l l a in need of a g lass s l i pper (or even a pair of Ad idas r u g b y b o o t s ) ? P r e s e n t a t i o n of a s imi la r pair , a l ong with a pair of rugby s o c k s , taken o n Tuesday luncht ime f rom the Un io n chang ing rooms wi l l result in sat is fact ion for a l l . A p p l y C h a r l e s de R o h a n , Maths 1. • Impe r i a l C o l l e g e open darts tournament , F reml in S ing les C u p , Scot t i sh and Newcas t l e Pa i rs C u p , names to R o g e r a n d J i m m y , U n i o n B a r , b y Fr iday , February 5. • M i c r o C l u b sc rewed up their mai l ing list. P lease tell T i m Pan ton , P h y s i c s 3, y o u r dept , s o we can contac t y o u ! • I n d i a Soc ie t y ce lebrates Repub l i c Day w i th a spec ia l funct ion in the J C R o n February 6 at 7:00pm. T i cke ts £1.50 ava i lab le f rom commi t tee. • W a n t e d : one g o o d party, preferably in a hous e o r flat, Karen and O w e n , Fa lmou th K e o g h phone 31. • W a n t e d any th ing in a skirt , R o s c o , C h e m E n g 1.
• N u c l e a r war imminent : S q u a d r o n
Leader S i m o n (Spast ic) Ne i ld is on the
loose . H a s the R A F gone total ly mad?
• R i c h get you r hands off it! Paul and
Dave.
• P h y s i c s 1 S o c R e p , J F , D ick ie Dirts is o p e n unti l 8:00pm ton igh t—L-St rauss . • C o n s o c w i l l i n g to a f f i l i a t e w i t h C o m s o c p r o v i d e d t h e y d e n o u n c e M a g g i e as a wi tch. • B a r o n s a n d Cate r ing Managers , do y o u f ind students spi t t ing at pictures of y o u . T h e n keep Nick Mor ton as pres ident s o m e o n e who really knows h o w to d o noth ing . • T o m Cot t re l l Nat West l iason off icer wi l l be ava i lab le on Tuesdays and F r idays between 1pm and 2pm for adv i ce wi th regard to related bank ing se rv ices s u c h as insurance, investment and tax adv ice in the interview r o o m o f t h e C o l l e g e s u b b r a n c h dur ing term t ime. N o appointment is necessary .
• M i k e - e n j o y yoursel f Thu rsday? N o ? then don' t go to Hammersmi th next t ime!
g S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S 5 (
T h e r e w i l l b e a m e e t i n g i n t h e I C U n i o n
O f f i c e a t 5 : 3 0 p m t o d a y , F r i d a y J a n u a r y
2 2 , f o r a l l t h e p o t e n t i a l c o n t r i b u t o r s t o t h i s
y e a r ' s e d i t i o n o f The Phoenix. If y o u
w o u l d l i k e t o h e l p o r d i s c u s s i d e a s f o r a
c o n t r i b u t i o n , y o u w i l l b e e x t r e m e l y
w e l c o m e . T h e E d i t o r w i l l a l s o b e p l e a s e d
t o s u g g e s t a s i g n m e n t s t o a n y b o d y w h o
c a n n o t d e c i d e w h a t t o c o n t r i b u t e .
THE MAGAZINE OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
Page 4 FELIX. January 22. 1982
"Why I believe RCS is going to
the dogs"
by S . J . Marshall, ARCS
T h e centenary year of the R o y a l Co l lege of Sc i ence seems a n oppor tune time to ponder o n the
d o w n w a r d t r e n d in the reputat ion of this once reputable inst itution to s u c h an extent that M r
D a v e T h o m p s o n , R C S U n i o n Pres ident , finds it necessary to c o n s u m e his o w n exc rement in
the U n i o n B a r as a ce lebrat ion of this achievement . M a y I offer some of my o w n personal
thoughts on the matter , wri t ing as a p r o u d Assoc ia te of the R C S w h o is losing that pride rapidly
o n overv iewing the recent act ions of the R C S U n i o n , supposedly representative of the R C S as
a whole . 1 shall attempt to show that they are not representat ive a n d deserve no support but
only the contempt of those w h o are.
T h e t r o u b l e s e e m s to s t e m f r o m the
unhealthy relationship between the higher
echelons of the R C S Union and those people
known collectively as the "22 C l u b " . Th is club
is a "pr ivate" organisation which is intended
for people who have made a contribution to
the R C S U n i o n in social and athletic spheres;
elected membership. At this stage I should
point out that I have absolutely no desire to be
disrespectful to older members of the 22 C l u b ,
or indeed to some current student members; I
am sure that they would not condone the foul
ac t s of the few, in p a r t i c u l a r , M r D a v e
Thompson , who I believe, as R C S U n i o n
P r e s i d e n t has a c t e d o u t s i d e the n o r m a l
decorum afforded to such a noble position
within the structure of the R C S .
The 22 C l u b is not above public comment
because it is a "private club"; its constitution
makes it an integral part of the R C S . It seeks
to elect "wor thy" members of the R C S and in
so doing becomes representative of the R C S .
It is u n f o r t u n a t e t h a t the o n l y t a n g i b l e
r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of
Science, which excels in academic excellence,
should be the R C S Union heirarchy and the 22
C lub . Members of these organisations do not
excel academically because they are too busy
excelling at vomiting out of windows onto
passers-by and consuming faeces in public.
This is a recent trend; a pity it should have
reached such an unseemly climax in the year
of the College's centenary, in fact the very
week!
If I lacked knowledge of the glorious history
of the R C S and of its achievements in its one
hundred years of existence and had only the
R C S Union and 22 C l u b to look up to, I should
certainly not want to sustain any connection
upon graduation; membership of the R C S
A s s o c i a t i o n is d w i n d l i n g b e c a u s e it is
u n f o r t u n a t e l y t a r r e d by the same b r u s h .
Similarly, 1 could not feel proud to write the
letters A . R . C . S . after my name. Lucki ly , I
c a m e to the R C S w h e n the U n i o n h a d
leadership worthy of the college's reputation,
still socially orientated of course, but in an
a m i c a b l e w a y ; t h e u n i o n w a s u n i t e d .
Excesses, if indulged at all , were indulged in
private. I would be happy for M r T h o m p s o n to
consume bucketfuls of shit in the privacy of his
own sty, but not in public in the week of the
Centenary celebrations, the organisation of
which he had shown minimal interst. That is
out of order.
I believe this year's R C S fresher has been
actively discouraged from showing any interest
in the college's past history by these unceasing
discreditable acts, presumably intended to
impress, coupled with narrative from this years
R C S Union Officers, who are surely the most
slow-witted, shallow and uninspiring bunch of
morons to emerge into the limelight in my four
years' personal knowledge of the R C S .
I believe M r Thompson is a quite genuine
person who believes he is working towards a
great surge in the popularity of the R C S
Union . But he is labouring under the massive
misconception that his sole coprophagous
contribution to the Centenary celebrations was
a great thing. I feel freshers will not have
returned home this Christmas to tell their
parents: " H e y . R C S is a really great place, they
eat their own shit." Unfortunately, neither will
they have told their parents of the great men
who owe their greatness to the R C S , from T.
H . Huxley and H . G . Wells of yesteryear to the
nobel laureates of today. A n d this was simply
b e c a u s e t h e y t o o k l i t t l e i n t e r e s t in t h e
Centenary and unfortunately missed out o n a n
excellent opportunity to delve into history. It
was handed to them on a platter but M r
Thompson and his unsavoury friends had
already seen to it that their first impressions
were the wrong ones.
Encouragement for M r T h o m p s o n emanates
from the bowels of the 22 C l u b , an organisation
that has enough collective experience to know
better. The very thing that the club was set up in
1922 to safeguard, that is the preservation of
social wellbeing within the R C S (from a res
pectable distance) is now being destroyed by
the mentally impoverished minority presently
being deemed "wor thy" of membership.
In the same way as decent members of the 22
C l u b are degraded and tarnished by the acts of
the few, so too are A L L members of the R C S ,
those "not privileged" to be singled out as
official representatives, but who nevertheless
have the right to be proud of their college, and
its history.
Sense has not even permeated into the one
member of the R C S U n i o n team who might
have been thought to possess it, namely D r
Chr is Bruton , Life Sciences lecturer, Senior
Treasurer of the R C S U n i o n (and member of
22 Club) . W h e n I interviewed him on his
thoughts about the future of the R C S , with
particular reference to M r Dave Thompson , he
showed what a fine judge of character he was.
H e said that M r T h o m p s o n was " a very nice
c h a p " . B u t p e r h a p s D r B r u t o n was just
treading carefully, as he later admitted to'
thinking he was "as thick as two short planks" .
In summation, what R C S students must
never forget is that to be a n A s s o c i a t e of the
R o y a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e ( A . R . C . S . ) is
something to be proud of. W e must never
allow the rubbish people who strut around in
the name of the R C S to take that away from
us. In a nutshell, it simply means that the ones
who really are representative of the R C S must
not allow themselves to be conned by the
intellectually inept few who believe they are the
chosen race.
Fully Guaranteed
1V1ENIE) BHCH
M E N D - A - B I K E
13-15 Park Walk, London SW10
01-352-3999 New and Used Cycles
SAME DAY REPAIR SERVICE
We've got some great bicycle bargains!
New: 5 - s p e e d s B r i t i s h E a g l e u s u a l l y £78 n o w £70.
C l i p p e r L u x u s S p o r t u s u a l l y £79 n o w £72.
New: 1 0 - s p e e d s B r i t i s h E a g l e u s u a l l y £92 n o w £80.
L u x u s S p o r t u s u a l l y £88 n o w £78.
P e u g e o t U 0 1 0 1 0 - s p e e d s a l l o y w h e e l s , c o t t e r l e s s c h a i n s e t s , e t c . , u s u a l l y £145 n o w £124.
F o r t h e s h o r t d i s t a n c e c y c l i s t s e c o n d - h a n d s m a l l w h e e l c y c l e s b e t w e e n £20 a n d £30.
L i m i t e d n u m b e r of e x - r e n t a l c y c l e s £49.00.
Trade-ins accepted, also credit facilities available.
FELIX. January 22, 1982 Page 5
Continued from Issue 600
Take a walk down
F E L R O A D
T h e y e a r s b e t w e e n 1967 a n d 1974 w e r e
notable for many lay-out and organisational
changes. A t the start F E L I X was retailing
fortnightly for 4d and edited by whoever was
willing to devote enough time to it and study
for a degree at the same time. B y October
1974 it was the weekly, free F E L I X you now
know, having undergone several changes in
cost, size and particularly editorial style.
The 1967/8 F E L I X was approximately twice
the size of the one before but still managed to
average t e n pages u n d e r three di f ferent
editors. It was a year of inquorate U G M s ,
bitter C o u n c i l arguments and heralded the
ambivalent attitude of wanting more women at
IC yet simultaneously begrudging them access
to the U n i o n B a r . C h r i s t m a s p r e s e n t s in
F E L I X also started that vear. these being cut
outs, joss st icks, Chr i s tmas cards and later
grass, a 'p i l l ' , balloons and Christmas tree
lights.
Police Brutality
O c t o b e r 1968 (no . 264) i n t r o d u c e d yet
another page size and the first headline was
the excellent " F u z z Bust H a s h " . However the
headline did not refer to the flourishing College
drug-scene at the time but to Javad ' A d o l f
Hashteroudion , R C S U Vice-President. H e was
attending a V ie tnam demonstration at Park
Lane the J u l y before when he was charged
with throwing stones at a policeman although
' H a s h ' c laimed to be in the middle of the demo,
writing poetry! However , the situation was not
at all amusing for H a s h , as he was held in
police custody for a time and eventually fined
£25 (plus 10 guineas cost) and given a three-
month suspended sentence.
The price went up to 6d for 1969/70, the first
issue being no. 272 which marked the start of
another trend for picture covers. This trend
continued until no. 281 (cover: a wall with a
' F E L I X Road ' sign) when using both R C S
Broadsheet and Counc i l as a forum the R S M U
President criticised the 'wasted front page and
generally poor quality of the last issue'. This
along with what was termed 'not only a waste
of space but a far more dangerous waste than
the photo of the F E L I X Road sign,' in the
R S M U n e w s l e t t e r a n d the c r i t i c a l a n d
unhelpful attitude of Counc i l caused Malco lm
Wil l iamson to announce his resignation in the
editorial of no. 282 Ian C a r r took over for no.
285, the first of the seventies, with the C C U
sheets vs F E L I X antagonism still rife. In the
previous issue R C S Broadsheet had claimed to
be more chatty and up-to-date whilst replying
in another letter Dave Chant (soon to be third
e d i t o r of the t r a u m a t i c 1969/70 sess ion)
explained this was due to the perennial lack of
staff.
O n a lighter note, no. 287 included a letter
ratings girls from J C , IF, Mar ia Assumpta
Kings R o a d , L o n d o n , Glasgow and Edinburgh
on an ascending scale of neutral, moderately
pretty, beautiful, pretty and very pretty. The
letter was signed Paris.
Size of
sample Place I
200 I C
400 Kings R d .
60 Institut Francais
35 M A .
2000 London
150 Glasgow
500 Edinburgh
FELIX NEWSPAPER Of THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE STUDENTS UNION
No 2M WEDNESDAY. ! OCTOBER 146*
FUZZ BUST HASH
The headline of the following issue "Penney
Drops A A " referring to how after eight years
of negotiations, L o r d Penney, the Rector had
announced there would be no merger between
I C a n d t h e A r c h i t e c t u r e A s s o c i a t i o n .
T h e 1970/1 s e s s i o n was u n e v e n t f u l by
comparison; the price dropped to 272d for
nos. 299 to 301, editor J . Rogers including
the first topless F E L I X female in 301. H e
e x p l a i n e d i n 302 w h y that a n d a l l future
F E L I C E S would be free (therefore this is the
301st free F E L I X ) .
The Cat is free
Issue 302,
October 4 1971
P r e t t y
M o d e r a t e l y
V e r y
P r e t t y P r e t t y
0 1
1 0
0 0
0 0
5 1
0 0
2 0
Frivolling
Felix M r Rogers certainly gave an impression of
cheapness in the first free issue, with such
headlines on the front page as:
NEWS IN BRIEFS
PHALLUSY TIME
FRENCH LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Page 6 FELIX, January 22, 1982
FREAK OUT TO THE
IMPERIAL COLLEGE OCT. 26 Tickets 10/- or 17/6 Double.
T h e n e x t e d i t o r , D a v e S u g d e n , t h e n
published in no. 304 what he hoped would be,
and now is, the F E L I X of the future. H e
described that proposals for a weekly F E L I X ,
produced by a sabbatical editor would be put
before Publications Board .
Sabbaticals
Obviously this was agreed although it was
not prominently exposed in F E L I X . Sugden's
final edition, 310, included a credit for Dolly
O w s o n and a warning of apathy (surprise!)
while 311, produced by the Union H o n Sec,
had the following on the back page.
O l i v e r F r a n c i s
D O W S O N
" F e l i x " E d i t o r
T h e f o l l o w i n g year S u g d e n ' s v i s i o n s of
F E L I X were realised with Dowson as the first
weekly, paid Editor. H e also edited Sennet
(now L o n d o n Student) at the same time and
introduced a F E E I X FINANCIA££Y page.
Visually his (and the next year's) F E L I C E S
were boring, being tabloid size, printed on a
s i m i l a r q u a l i t y of p a p e r a n d l a c k i n g in
photographs. Dave Sugden's prediction of
apathy proved very true, there being four
elections for President that year. This gave
D o w s o n the opportunity for one of several
h e a d l i n e s s p a n n i n g t w o i s s u e s . N o . 315
referred to the first election saying " A b s t a i n " .
" A n d They D i d " being the headline of no. 316.
Back to Front H o w e v e r , not e v e r y t h i n g f o l l owed in a
logical sequence: in no. 314 under the title
" P o r n : A Communist P lot " was a photo of the
stripper of 301 before removing her bra, while
no. 315 showed shots of M o t o r Show models
from various illuminating angles. Copies of
these four photos will be on view in the F E L I X
Office for a nominal charge during this week.
The front page of no. 336 had a " F E L I X
Editor Threatened with Castrat ion" (by Union
Sec for leaking election results) caption, but
much more seriously were the events reported
on the cover of no. 337: "Where are our Rag
Mags? , F E L I X E d C e n s u r e d — B u t Resig
nation Bid Fai ls" . This described the blunders
made by D o w s o n in having M i k e Will iams' Rag
Mags printed. Counc i l had made Dowson print
a letter from Williams on the front page,
a l t h o u g h in the a c c o m p a n y i n g r e p o r t no
e l a b o r a t i o n was g iven on h o w P . J o w i t t
(Deputy President) had succeeded in dragging
numerous parts of M r Dowson's private life
into the argument. Will iams was later to follow
D o w s o n as F E L I X Editor. This issue also
i n c l u d e d the f o l l o w i n g i n s e r t a b o u t a n
Improbable College.
In his epilogue Oily answered criticisms of
his F E L I X by stating news was up to 25%,
adding that the following Editor planned more,
suggested U G M s be named Socsoc meetings
( r e m a r k i n g h o w S o c s o c no l o n g e r h e l d
meetings of their own) and claimed C C U s
were destroying I C U .
T h e 1 9 7 3 / 4 s e s s i o n F E L I C E S w e r e
dominated by U n i o n news, the reason being A .
C a m p b e l l ' s r e s o l u t i o n to i n c r e a s e n e w s
content and his replacement by P. Wadsworth
who was both F E L I X Editor and H o n Sec for
two of the t h r e e t e r m s of the s e s s i o n .
Wadsworth , in his 358 editorial, explained he
only wrote editorials when he ran out of copy
and criticised several of his staff for being
b i a s e d . T h e s e s s i o n e n d e d w i t h D P , D .
Sinclair, resigning his post near the end of his
t e r m in office b e c a u s e he h a d not been
awarded a U G A .
During this time IC played host to many big
name bands and solo acts, either in the Great
Hall or in Carniva l gigs held at outside venues
like the Albert H a l l . These included Deep
Purple, Donovan (a real money-spinner), Elton
J o h n , Queen and L o u Reed. This last gig
coinciding with a pick-up in the drug scene.
This week's advert is for the first of two Pink
F loyd gigs at IC .
scandalous
FELIX 337
FELIX, January 22, 1982 Page 7
What's On
Friday, January 22
• B U N A C week l y meet ing , 12:30pm, Green Comm Rm.
• Indus t r ia l S o c c o m m meet ing , 1:00pm, Chem Eng
Concourse.
• C h r i s t i a n U n i o n meet ing with 'Bible Study1 as the
theme, 6:30pm, 53 Prince _ Gate. Followed by coffee and
biscuits, with prayer meeting between 9:00-10:00pm.
• P h o e n i x staff mee t ing , 5:30pm, Union Office.
Saturday, January 23
• B i r d w a t c h i n g t r ip to T h o r n e y Po in t , 7:20am, Water
loo ticket station, £4.50 (will get some back), bring rail
card, wellies, packed lunch and binos, if any.
• C h i n e s e new year ce leb ra t i on : pantomime, dinner
and disco, 6:30pm, Union Concert Hall, Lower Refectory
and JCR, 80p (disco only). Arranged by IC Chinese Soc.
All welcome.
Sunday, January 24
• W L C c o m m u n i o n se rv i ce , 10:00am, Consort Gallery.
• W a r g a m e s c l ub meet ing , 1:00pm, Union SCR.
Monday, January 25
•Hang -g l i d i ng c l ub meet ing , 12:30pm, above Southside
Bar.
• C h e m s o c lec ture : 'Platinum Anti-Cancer Drugs' by Mr
P.C. Hyde (Johsnon-Mattey), 4:30pm, Lecture Theatre
C.
• D a n c i n g c lub a d v a n c e d c lass , 7:30pm, JCR.
Tuesday, January 26
• B o a r d s a i l i n g c lub week l y meet ing , 12:30 and 6:15pm,
Southside Upper Lounge. Contact Nick Ajderian ME3 or
Andy Grimshaw Zoo 2 for more details.
• C a t h o l i c mass a n d l u n c h , 12:30pm, Chem 231. Nomi
nal charge for lunch.
• S T O I C p rog ramme: 'Film Special', Richard O'Brien,
who wrote the music and screenplay for and starred in
The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and the recently re
leased Shock Treatment, 1:00 and 6:00pm, JCR, South-
side TV Lounge, Southside, Beit, Linstead and Weeks
Halls.
• D e p t of Human i t i es p resen ts
1. N u c l e a r W a r in E u r o p e ?
Part 2: Nuclear Weapons in Europe
with Field Marshal the Lord Carver, GCB, CBE, DSO,
MC, Former Chief of the Defence Staff, 1:30pm, Theatre
1, Blackett Laboratory. Arranged by IC European Dis
armament Group.
2. M a n , M i n d and Sp i r t
Part 2: Becoming a Person
Dr Martin Israel, Senior Lecturer in Pathology, Royal
College of Surgeons, 1:30pm, Read Theatre, Sherfield.
• I C A m n e s t y g roup meet ing , 5:30pm, Green Comm
Rm (top floor, Union Building).
• W i n e t a s t i n g Soc ie t y tasting some of the wines from
Provence, 6:00pm, Union SCR.
• I C M i c r o c l ub present a talk by RARDE on 'A military
Distributed Computing Network', 7:00, Huxley LT145,
free to members, non-members 30p. Film also!
• B U N A C f i lm and s n a c k s even ing , 7:00pm HB340
(Maths dept), free.
• D a n c i n g c lub beg inners c lass , 7:30pm, JCR.
• I C C A G S o u p R u n , meet 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchens.
Wednesday, January 27
• W a r g a m e s c lub meet ing , 1:00pm, Union SCR.
• A n t i - A p a r t h e i d meet ing , 1:00, Union Upper Lounge.
• A s t r o s o c obse rv ing meet ing: Dr Bignall giving advice
on 'Astronomical Photography1, 3:30pm, 'Waveguide',
Physics. Free to members.
• I C T r a m p o l i n e soc ie ty meet ing, 5:30pm, Courtauld
Hall, QEC, Campenden Hill Rd. Contact Kristen Hansen,
Chem 2 for further info.
• D a n c i n g c lub in termedia te c lass , 7:30pm, JCR.
Thursday, January 28
• C h r i s t i a n S c i e n c e g roup meet ing, 1:00pm, Seminar
Room, Level 2S, Botany.
• S T O I C p rog ramme featuring'News-Break', 1:00 and
6:00pm, JCR (1:00pm only), Southside TV Lounge, Beit,
Southside, Linstead and Weeks Halls.
• M e c h E n g soc p resen ts a ta lk on the success of
Japanese Industry by Mr Wilson, 1:00pm, ME342.
• D e p t of Human i t i es presents :
1. T h e W o r l d at W a r (Thames T V )
Part 12: Nemesis, 1:15pm, Great Hail.
2. L u n c h - h o u r C o n c e r t
La Raphaele (Baroque Ensemble), 1:30pm, Music Rm, 53
Princes Gate.
3. A n Eng ineer l ooks at B io logy
Part 3: Evolution and the Managing Director
Prof Eric Laithwaite, 1:30pm, Read Theatre. (Postponed
from autumn term.)
• Z i m b a b w e : T h e Cha l l enge of Independence , a talk
by HE R T Zwinoira, High Commissioner for Zimbabwe,
1:30pm, Pippard Lecture Theatre. (Arranged by ICU
Overseas Students Committee.)
• G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 5:30pm, Aero 254
• F i s h i n g c lub meet ing , 6:00pm, Stan's Bar.
• E n t s f i lm: Kentucky Fried Movie, 6:30pm, Mech Eng
220, 50p.
• J e w i s h soc genera l meet ing , lunchtime, venue t.b.a.
H a i r b y
priglss HAIRDRESSING FOR MEN & WOMEN
Barney McCabe did it.
How about you?
20% reduction on production of Union card
68 GLOUCESTER ROAD LONDON S.W.7.
TELEPHONE: 01-584 7193 01-584 0858
OPENING TIMES: MONDAY 9-6.00 LATE NIGHTS
TUESDAY. WEDNESDAY. THURSDAY. FRIDAY 9-8.00 SATURDAY 9-5.00
A w I.C.EBTTS P R E S E N T S
TONIGHT
T H E " O n l y 3 3 7 Days
t i l l C h r i s t m a s " P A R T Y
W i t h : WALTER MIITY'S LITTLE WHITE LIES 2
D I S C O B A R I J C R
i 8 - * t i c k e t s : £ 1 I D V I I C S %
£1*25 DOOR %
IC Chinese Society presents C H I N E S E N E W Y E A R
C E L E B R A T I O N S
on Saturday, January 23 with
Pantomime: 6 : 3 0 p m , U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l .
Dinner: 8 : 0 0 p m , S h e r f i e l d L o w e r R e f e c t o r y .
Disco: 9 : 3 0 p m t i l l l a t e , J C R .
M e m b e r s : £4; O t h e r s : £5: Just D is co : 80p.
(Ticket nos. 21-30 are void!)
Formal dress please. ALL WELCOME
Page 8 FELIX. January 22. 1982
Cutter's Way, Gate Notting Hill, X
A description eludes me at present but the plot
in its most basic (and perhaps incorrect) form
is fairly simple: A rich and powerful magnate,
J . C o r d murders a young cheerleader and it
seems that he will get away with the crime
because the only witness, Richard Bone, is
almost fatally apathetic. Bone has a friend,
Alex Cutter , a Vietnamese war veteran who is
heavily mutilated and seems to have one bodily
organ where most people have two, and it is
this young man who makes for the vitality of
the film. By hook or by crook (the latter as it
turns out) Cutter intends to get C o r d for his
deed just like The Mounties always do. It is
very difficult to decide as to whether it is or is
not worth seeing since most of the few people
who have seen it like it, but I didn't.
It was not as entertaining as Raiders nor
as morally depressing as Christiane F. It is not
"l ight", although it does have some amusing
scenes, but then so do a lot of B movies.
Shezi Abedi John Heard as the horribly disfigured Cutter
Translations. A new play by Brian Friel.
Directed by Donald McWhinnie. The
Lyttelton, National Theatre.
A Ledge school in the year 1833 in the
townland of Braile Beag (Ballybeg), an Irish-
speaking community in County Donegal, sets
the scene for the play Translations by the
contemporary Irish playwright Brian Friel . A
hedge school, I was interested to find out, was
a place such as a barn or a loft where peasants
studied in the evening after a hard day's toil on
the land. They were taught by men drawn from
their own stock and they often attained a high
degree of proficiency in such unlikely subjects
as the classics. Learning was done entirely
through the vernacular Gael ic .
-Against this somewhat inconspicuous scene
a m i l i t a r y d e p u t a t i o n f r o m t h e B r i t i s h
g o v e r n m e n t is s t a l k i n g the c o u n t r y s i d e
anglicising all the place names for the first
Ordinance Survey of Ireland, and all this at a
time when the hedge schools and the Gaelic
language they were keeping alive were being
absorbed into the recently introduced State
system of education with English as the first
language.
O n a superficial level the play is depicting a
national and rustic way of life being wasted
away by a temporal and political tide, and the
tense relationship between the English and the
Irish depicted in the play set almost 150 years
ago is s t i l l sad ly re l evant t oday . B u t the
u n d e r l y i n g s u b s t a n c e of the p lay is m o r e
universal and meaningful. Friel is building onto
the fabric of hedge schools and the Ordinance
Survey a masterful and beautiful exposition of
language—both on the aesthetic and uplifting
heights it can reach, but also on the frustration
a n d even d a n g e r it c a n e n g e n d e r . T h e s e
qualities of language are expressed beautifully
in the play. A n old, grey bearded peasant
becomes enraptured by Virgil . A dumb girl is
taught to say her name. The school master
delights in the Lat in roots of Gaelic words. A n
English officer anglicises place names, but
obliterates whole local legends in the process.
A n d a peasant girl and an officer in love with
each other can no more than embrace. A l l
these qualities and others are expressed in the
play in a dialogue of words which in themselves
I found incredibly moving, heart-warming and
i n c r e d i b l y b e a u t i f u l . E v e n the a c t i n g was
superlative.
The play was first staged on a tour of Ireland
last year but later appeared at the highly
enterprising Hampstead Theatre where it was
greeted in The Times as a national classic. The
director of the theatre upon reading the play
said "It was the sort of script you read once
every ten years if you are lucky" . The play is
certainly in a class of its own.
Nick Bedding
Still Crazy The Bush (Shepherds Bush
Green). Presented by Bush Theatre Hull
truck. Runs until January 30.
A p l a y t h a t t r a i l s t h r o u g h the s w i r l i n g
misappreheosions, assumptions and personal
fall of those young in the sixties and their
inability to come to terms with the notion that
they corrupted and betrayed the ideals of their
nebulous twenties. Nick , who works for the
B B C , a n d L i b b y , who b r i n g s up a c h i l d ,
attempt to unravel the eighties in cliches two
decades too late.
The play invokes the characters ' guilt at the
idea ls of y o u t h , mod i f i ed by m i d d l e c l ass
aspirations, eventually degenerating into semi
d e t a c h e d h o m o g e n i t y . W h o l e f o o d yogur t
provides the final, media-cultivated, corrupt
touchstone for those immersed in being forty
whose slogans have dissipated in a spasm of
consumerism.
N i c k sees himself in Maddie , a frayed 'new
romantic ' , and Tyle, who flirts with punk, and
s e i z e s the o p p o r t u n i t y of c o n f l i c t as a
justifiable method of making the problems of
his past physical. By applying them to another
he ignores them in himself. The essential
t r a g e d y of N i c k is the r e a l i s a t i o n a n d
personalisation of guilt.
Nick and Tyle are both created and crippled
by b a s i c a l l y the s a m e c o n c e r n s . T h e y
understand each other and the nature of their
conflict totally. In the last resort they are inter
changeable. They are both safe in the rut of
the relationship between them.
Nick is the horror of Tyle as in him Tyle can
see what he will become. Each character
lingers over their own terror in the relentlessly
Habitat-inspired set.
The two aging, sold-out hippies, N i c k and
L i b b y , a r e a b l e to d e v e l o p w i t h i n t h e
restrictions of role while Tyle , the obligatory
punky /Bowie clone, and Maddie , the greying
new r o m a n t i c , s o l id i ty in r a t h e r c r u d e l y
imposed limitations.
N i c k muses on the brave new world of the
sixties that has passed by and it becomes
apparent that he is no different to any old man
brooding on his youth. The final confrontation
with Tyle is both painful and funny as both are
a mockery of what they express.
David Gill
Shaun Scott and Bernadette Shorrt in Brian Fiel's "Translations''
FELIX, January 22, 1982 Page 10
"Let's try that again, shall we?"
Labour
Grants: Student grants are going down again
next year by an average of £5 per week, and if
you are unlucky enough to be one of the 75%
of students whose parents do not pay their full
contribution you will be even worse hit. It
r e m a i n s to be s e e n w h e t h e r o u r g l o r i o u s
President will pick up his hot-line to Ke i th
Joseph and instruct the government to change
its policy. A n y o n e who doubts I C U ' s ability to
mount any sort of campaign against grant cuts
while isolated from the rest of the student
movement is invited to get in touch with the
L a b o u r C l u b . W e will be supporting the N U S
campaign.
Coming Soon: O u r first major speaker this
term will be Neil Kinnock MP, opposit ion
spokesman o n education, on February 2 in
M E 2 2 0 at 1:00pm. A member of the L a b o u r
Party 's Nat ional Execut ive Committee , he has
been heavily crit ic ised by the Bennite faction
for his cruc ial votes opposing the endorsement
of Peter Tatchel l and supporting an enquiry
into the militant tendency. N e i l K i n n o c k ' s
interest in higher education goes back to his
day as the student union president in Cardiff .
SF Soc
Brush ing the little men from his trouser-legs
the bulletin author once again leaps into action
with a gleam in his eye, a song in his heart and
a moneky o n his back. It is tempting to suggest
that the monkey in question is N . Wi l l son , but
it ain't so, despite his derogatory references to
S F readers in his book review c o l u m n last
week I will say no more, believing as I do that to
have Riddley Walker and completely missed
the point is punishment enough. O n e plus
point for M r Wi l l son ; as far as I know he is the
only book reviewer not to write his review in
the style of the book.
Whi le we're on the subject of books, S F Soc
l i b r a r y m e e t i n g s are s t i l l t a k i n g p lace o n
Thursday lunchtimes in the G r e e n Commit tee
R o o m . M o r e book-buying will take place soon,
so if you want to influence the choices, turn up
at a library meeting. C h r i s Priest may be
coming for a chat soon. M o r e details will be
forthcoming when there are more details.
A n y o n e who missed the Czechos lovak ian
S F film Tomorrow I'll be Scalding Myself with
Tea m i s s e d a t r e a t . It w e n t o n f r o m a
somewhat heavy-handed beginning to become
the best time-travel film I've ever seen. If you
ever again get the chance to see it, do.
The co lumn has once again run out of
space, but as Bonner the Stachastic once said
"that 's life". Y o u r s until book reviewers give
S F its due.
Belnot Phist and the Green Committee
Just a quick word this week to announce the
R C S R a g M a g T r i p t o C a m b r i d g e o n
Wednesday, January 27, meeting at Beit A r c h
at 12:00. There are many seats still available,
a n d the system operating is that seats on the
coach will cost £3 per person with cash back
depending on sales of Rag Mags . Thus you can
h a v e a c h e a p t r i p t o s e e a n y p a l s i n
Cambr idge , a free trip by selling lots of Rag
Mags , or a combination of both. Refunds will
be of the order of £1 for 20 Rag Mags sold, and
considering the vast hordes of suckers , sorry
students, available, sales of 100 or more are
possible. Please give your names to your soc
reps as soon as possible if you want to go.
H i ! Y K N O W , IF Y O U V E GOT A H E A D A C H E . . . .
Amensi International
Group
IC 's Amnes ty International G r o u p continues
to campaign for the implementation of the
U N ' s Universal Declarat ion of H u m a n Rights,
w h i c h has b e e n s i g n e d by a l m o s t a l l the
m e m b e r s t a t e s of the U N . T h e p r i n c i p a l
method remains the letter-writing campaign, in
which letters on behalf of a person imprisoned
for non-violent adherence to his beliefs arrive
simultaneously from thousands of Amnesty
m e m b e r s t h r o u g h o u t t h e w o r l d . M a n y
prisoners have testified that such a deluge of
letters has caused a marked improvement in
their treatment, and often their immediate
release.
T h e group's adopted prisoner is a student,
F i r m i n A w a d o n of Benin , who was arrested,
but not charged in 1979 after students had
formed their own 'Ac t i on G r o u p ' to oppose
the government-control led body which until
then was their only representation. Enquiries
about his legal position are not answered by
his government. The group is looking into the
possibility of obtaining the help of firms which
trade in Benin .
B e f o r e a d o p t i n g a p r i s o n e r A m n e s t y
International conducts a n investigation to
ascertain whether the person is imprisoned for
h i s be l i e f s a n d w h e t h e r he has u s e d o r
advocated violence. The IC group is helping
with such a preliminary investigation for a
prisoner in Sr i L a n k a .
Snooker Both the handicap and open tournaments are
well under way now, and the deadline for first
round matches to be completed has been set
at January 29. If you haven't played yet, put a
notice up o n one of the boards in the snooker
r o o m (where the draws for each tournament
are) for your opponent listing the times you
can play. If matches haven't been completed
by the date, the winner will be decided by
chosing the person w h o has made most effort
to play the game. The B table will be set aside
for m a t c h p l a y o n l y o n T u e s d a y 26 a n d
Thursday 28 January , and you can now book
two hour slots (at any time) to play matches.
Best of luck to everyone, but watch out for
nosebleed specialist Jennings.
Page 10
Bookshop News I hope you all read the letter, re Recommended
Books (letters' page), if any tutor recommends
a specific title, and it is not in stock, tell me!
Publications from the "International Labour
Office" are on display in our Window, if you
wish to see one, the staff will be glad to get it
for you.
W e can still get Sir Douglas Bader to sign
copies of his biography "Fly ing C o l o u r s " for
people. So don't be frightened to ask.
L o r d Z u c k e r m a n wi l l be givi j jg the 6th
Jubilee Lecture in College on February 18.
The lecture will be titled 'Nuclear Illusion and
Reality' and his book of the same title will be on
sale in the Book s h op on the day of publication,
January 28.
J o h n Wiley and Sons (Publishers) will be
o r g a n i s i n g a ' C o m p u t e r B o o k M o n t h ' i n
February, and a large selection of their books
will be on display in the Shop during the
month.
New Titles K i n g Royal-John Quigley, Pan , £1.95
The Many Coloured Land-Jul ian M a y , P a n ,
£1.75
Darken Ship-Nicholas Monsarrat , P a n , £1.50
The ( inborn David Shogin, Pan , £1.50
Riddley Wa/fcer-Russell H o b a n , Pan /P i cador ,
£1.95
Our Cheque is in the Post -Christopher W a r d ,
Pan , £1.00
Taking the Rough with the Smooth-Dr
A n d r e w Stanley, P a n , £1.95.
Industrial H o w d y folks! First ly , thanks to all those who
came to the A S T M S talk last week; and also to
the Edi tor—his inclusion of all our p u b l i c i t y
made the event more successful than some
past talks!
• O u r next major event has wider than usual
appeal: unless the Miners (not R S M ! ) strike,
Ian Ross will tell all about life as B B C Industrial
C o r r e s p o n d e n t o n F r i d a y , J a n u a r y 29 at
12:50pm in C h e m Eng Theatre 1. W a t c h out
for him on T V in the meantime!
Plus. . . .Today at 1:00pm is our Committee
Meeting in C h e m Eng Concourse : all officers,
vice-officers and interested parties please note.
Consoc N e x t Thursday , January 28, T i m Linacre , the
N a t i o n a l C h a i r m a n of the F e d e r a t i o n of
Conservative Students, will be speaking to
C o n s o c . Meet ing in the Upper Lounge (next to
the U n i o n Office) at 1:00pm. H e will be talking
on F C S ' s role in liasing with the party, the
government and relations with N U S .
W e regret that this meeting can only be
open to Conservative Society members.
Ents
So we're off to a flying start to term 2, with the
party tonight featuring Walter Mitty 's Little
White Lies ! Have you bought your ticket yet?
It's another 25p on the door so the Ents R o o m
or the U n i o n Office would be useful ports of
call to fill that deficiency. But that's not all!
N e x t Friday sees our H a r d Rock soiree with
Overki l l and Blue M a x providing the culture.
It's only £1 per ticket so we expect to see you
there. T h r o w in such infinitely entertaining
films (this week Kentucky Fried Movie) and
more surprise events to come and you can see
that Ents is the place to be in 1982.
Badgesoc
A t last, Badgesoc is ready, organised and raring
to go. 2,000 badge b i t s are a r r i v i n g th is
Wednesday to keep us going for a month or
t w o . A f t e r last t e r m ' s X m a s B o n f i r e a n d
Badge sale, well over £60 is in the can , all going
to charity. W e still need someone, however,
willing to return the wire bin from Beit Q u a d
back to H y d e Park .
F r o m n o w o n B a d g e s o c m e e t s e v e r y
Monday at 12:45pm in the Lounge above
Southside Bar . B u y badgebits, enrol , get new
ideas for stunningly original badges, have a
"pie & a pint", discuss pressing questions such
as: should we give the money we collected to
Rag or to T W S ? A l l these and more, Mondays ,
12:45pm, Southside.
Don 't forget, to join up, send 50p to Lee
Mercer c /o M e c h Eng or come to a meeting.
runriskof sleeping sickness
Scic
The Times
Tuesday, Jan 12
Astro-soc Issues Denial
A spokesman said yesterday: " O n behalf of the
A s t r o s o c c ommit tee I w o u l d l ike to deny
c a t e g o r i c a l l y the a l l e g a t i o n s in T u e s d a y ' s
Times. There is absolutely no cause for worry
by any of our members, we have never had
even one member asleep during any of our
lectures. W e feel this was irresponsible of the
Times and will cause needless anxiety for
countless thousands of astronomers every
where. It would appear that there have been
two or three cases in the N o r t h A m e r i c a n
continent, and now it has been blown out of all
proport ion by this art ic le . "
There will be an observing meeting next
Wednesday at 3:30pm in the "Wave-guide" in
t h e P h y s i c s B u i l d i n g , w i t h a d v i c e o n
astronomical photography, and the oppor
tunity to use these techniques afterwards
(weather permitting, of course!). The following
lectures have already been arranged for this
term:
Tues Feb 9: Prof J Taylor asking " C a n we
unify gravity With the other forces of nature?
T u e s Feb 23: D r J . M . I rv in s p e a k i n g o n
" N e u t r o n Stars " .
Tues March 2: D r Joseph speaking on " I R A S " .
Tues March 9: D r Raine F R S speaking on
" T h e Superstructures of the Universe" .
Thurs March 18: D r R . L . F . B o y d F R S
speaking on " T h e Solar Atmosphere" .
Tues March 23: D r I s h a m s p e a k i n g o n
" Q u a n t u m Grav i ty " .
A l l these l e c t u r e s wi l l be at 6 : 3 0 p m i n
Physics Lecture Theatre 2.
O n l y a smal l c o l u m n this week 'cos the
weather 's been bad aga in . D o n ' t forget: A l l
sports reports to have score, date p layed a n d
opposit ion on top of page. T h a n k s .
Lesley
xx
G U I L D S S O C C E R S I X E S (Sunday, M a r c h 14th, 1982 at H a r l i n g t o n
B E E R P R I Z E S
Teams to consist of at least 5 players from one
year in a department . O n e guest player
a l lowed. If lor some reason you can't get 5
then come a n d leave a message in the G u i l d s
U n i o n Office for P h i l Nicco l l s . T h e r e w i l l be
a small charge for coaches but supporters
travel free. ..-
'^Badminton
Due to the non -ava i lab i l i t y of the Great H a l l ,
ihere w i l l only be c lub nights on M o n d a y s on
the fo l lowing dates: F e b r u a r y 8, M a r c h 1,
w i t h a n a d d i t i o n a l T h u r s d a y n i g h t o n
February 11. C l u b nights on F'riday nights
w i l l continue as n o r m a l in O l d C h e m i s t r v .
Bowling I C v s . S o u t h a m p t o n U n i v 6 -4
L a s t S a t u r d a y , the I C t e a m g a i n e d a
m a g n i f i c e n t v i c t o r y o v e r S o u t h a m p t o n
U n i v e r s i t y at t h e C h a r r i n g ! o n B o w l ,
T o l w o r t h .
T h e A team (Cook, H a r r i s o n , Hooper ,
M a n , M c M u t l a n ) mashed the opposit ion in
the first game w i t h D i c k H o o p e r scoring 209.
T h e y f o l l o w e d t h i s u p w i t h a n o t h e r
comprehensive w i n in the second game but
the t h i r d was a m u c h more exc i t ing affair
wi th A n d y M c M u l l a n scoring 17 in the last
frame to w i n the game by 2 pins a n d the
match overal l .
T h e B team ( M o y e , Short , S m i t h , T h o n g ,
W e l l s ) p e r f o r m e d w e l l a g a i n s t s t r o n g
opposit ion but only managed to w i n one
game. However , in the match overal l this
game proved to be v i t a l .
T h e real heroes ol the day were the C team
(Dale, Davis , G r i m w o o d , Q u i n n , Stanley)
who won al l their games, so becoming the
lirst I C C team to w i n for ten years. T h e
highlight of the match was the 182 scored by
A n d y Dav is in the second game (unheard of
by a C team player) w h i c h together w i t h
excellent, wel l above average performances
by a l l his team-mates gave a total of 733,
beat ing both I C and S o u t h a m p t o n B team
scores a n d becoming one of the best scores by
a C team in this year's nat ional student
league.
T h e ladies match was forfeited by I C as
only M a r i e C h e o n g turned up but her m o r a l
support was m u c h apprec iated by a l l .
Next match is t omorrow (Jan 23) against
B r u n e i U n i v e r s i t y a l T o l w o r t h , r o l l - o f f
2 :00pm.
FELIX, January 22, 1982 Page 11
Southside Penthouse Problem
N o t a w o r d from the Southside Wardens ,
although I a m informed that D r Jowitt thinks
I'm just "Jowi t t bashing" . If he really considers
the matter so childishly, I can see we'll never
reach a satisfactory solution. This matter will
not just disappear. N i c k M o r t o n has suggested
that the current residents should ignore the
condition that they should gain access from
the T i z a r d gallery level.
Victorian Night
A n advert in E x e c N e w s for the opening of the
r e - v a m p e d b a r i n S o u t h s i d e c a r r i e s a n
unfortunate error . T h e date of the V i c tor ian
N i g h t is Thursday, January 28 a n d not
Thursday , January 27, as stated. Never mind ,
M a r c o , it happens to the best of us.
Credits
A v e r y s p e c i a l t h a n k s t o D a v e B r i t t o n ,
Caro l ine , Barne*y, M a r c o , Pallab, J o n , Soheel ,
J a m e s Deeny , Peter, J e z and M o (on IC Radio,
Tuesdays) who stayed up until 4:00am helping
me last Friday morning. You ' r e all heroes.
This week thanks to M a r t i n , Soheel , Pallab,
Steve, Peter, J . M a r t i n , Eddie , J o n , James ,
Lesley, Dave , J e z , M o , M a z and Ian.
Shock Treatment. Certificate A. Directed
by Jim Sharman. Starring Jessica Harper,
Cliff de Young, Richard O'Brien, Barry
Humphries.
M a n y expected Rocky Horror Show 2, but
rather than a mere re-work of all too familiar
material , writer Richard O ' B r i e n has applied
his talents to the strange world of television for
his latest musical comedy product ion Shock
Treatment.
B r a d and Janet survive to become part of
the community of Denton , where television is
so dominant that the whole town is depicted as
a T V studio whose inhabitants are players in
soap operas and quiz games. This brilliant
d e v i c e a l l o w s d i r c t o r J i m S h a r m a n to
i n t r o d u c e a v a r i e t y o f c h a r a c t e r s a n d
situations in rapid succession.
B r a d and Janet fall victim to the talents of
Since sabbatical elections will soon be here, I
felt that now would be a good time to advise
a n y p o t e n t i a l c a n d i d a t e s of the q u a l i t i e s
needed in a successful U n i o n Exec . ( F E L I X
Editor , a more delicate issue altogether, will be
reserved for a later puzzle.)
A s far as his job is concerned, an Exec
member should be dedicated, enthusiastic and
versatile. Personal qualities are essential too:
c h e e r f u l n e s s , f r i e n d l i n e s s a n d wit are a l l
important qualities in a U n i o n Officer. INo one
cou ld consider himself suitable for an Exec
post unless he was blessed with at least two of
the industrious qualities I have mentioned, and
at least two of the personal qualities. In fact,
for a balanced Exec , each feature should be
found in just two of the three members.
The President, of course, needs to be witty.
The Deputy President, who must be versatile,
should be enthusiastic or witty, but not both.
A n d the Exec should not contain more than
one person who is both dedicated and witty,
nor should there be more than one member
who is cheerful and enthusiastic.
What qualities are required in the H o n Sec?
Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the
FELIX Office, please. There is a prize of £5
(donated by Mend-aBike) for the correct
entry randomly selected at 1:00pm on
Wednesday.
Last Week's Solution
M c O a t u p ' s caber has four perforations, and
there are three possible arrangements for
them along the length of the pole: 1+1+4+4+3
or 1+3+1+6+2 or 1+5+3+2+2. O f the thirteen
people who found one or more of these, A .
Sh iekh , Physics 2, is the lucky winner.
A n d now, the rest of the solutions to the Chr i s tmas puzzles .
Call My Bluff
angekkok, monotroch , monost ich, paneity,
giaour, st, gju a n d euoi are all in C h a m b e r s '
Dict ionary, and are perfectly acceptable in
Scrabble. Euo i , st and gju are even useful on
occasion. Posteeen is in the dictionary, and I
suppose that makes it permissible, even though
it is a m i s p r i n t ; it s h o u l d r e a d ' p o s t e e n ' .
N u n a t a k k r is another misprint (should be
' n u n a t a k k e r ' ) b u t t h i s o n e is d e f i n i t e l y
disallowed, since it is marked as Swedish.
F i n a l l y , ' s w e d e ' is n o t a l l o w e d s i n c e ,
Bert Schnick (Barry Humphries ) , the blind
host of a m a r r i a g e c o u n s e l l i n g s h o w . H e
convinces Janet to send B r a d for treatment in
D e n t o n v a l e , a m e d i c a l s e r i e s r u n by the
suspect duo C o s m o and Nat ion M c K i n l e y .
Meanwhile , unknown to both lovers, evil fast
food king Farley Flavors is plotting to make
Janet a star and steal her from B r a d to settle
an old score.
Jess ica Harper is well cast as Janet (as is the
amazing Barry Humphries as Schnick) . She
proves that she has a fine voice in the musical
numbers and also manages to always look
entirely convincing. The film moves at a rapid
pace which can be confusing, but the variety of
i m a g e s a n d the c a t c h y l y r i c s h o l d s the
attention well. A s a musical it is not perfect,
but it displays an inventiveness and wit which
is all too rare nowadays.
M a r k Smith
r a t h e r s u r p r i s i n g l y , it d o e s not a p p e a r i n
C h a m b e r s without a capital letter.
M a r c h e s
T w o solutions are shown in the diagram.
Taking Notes
Writ ing ' U ' for 'up' , ' D ' for 'down' , etc.,the
following solution takes 83 moves. M o v e each
p i e ce as far as p o s s i b l e in the d i r e c t i o n
indicated, except where I have said otherwise.
U U , left timp U , R D L L , timp U one unit,
L D R ( U L ) U R ( L D ) D R R U U R R D ( D R )
R R D L L U U R D R U L U ( R U ) L D D R D L ( U L )
U U R (RD) D (DR) R U L D D L , Music stands
U U , R, Lower timp D , R D L L L L U R D D R U
(LU) U L L D R R U ( U L) L
This solution was devised by Zar Amro l ia
and is shorter by about forty moves than
a n y t h i n g I h a d b e e n able to d e v i s e . D r .
C o n w a y , who showed me the puzzle , also
showed me an even harder one along the same
lines; I'm saving it for the next time someone
complains that the puzzles are too easy.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince
Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX 1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Giblin.
e x e c n e w s i
B U C K I N G H A M P A L A C E
1 8 t h D e c e m b e r 1 9 8 1
T h a n k y o u f o r y o u r l e t t e r o f 2 n d D e c e m b e r .
Y o u m a y l i k e t o e x p l a i n t o m e m b e r s o f
I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n t h e b a c k g r o u n d t o t h e n e w s p a p e r s t o r i e s
a b o u t P r i n c e s s A n n e ' s r e c e n t v i s i t t o N e p a l .
H e r R o y a l H i g h n e s s d i d i n d e e d v i s i t a Game R e s e r v e w h e r e
s t r e n u o u s e f f o r t s a r e b e i n g m a d e t o p r e s e r v e t h e t i g e r
p o p u l a t i o n . T h i s p a r t o f T h e P r i n c e s s ' s v i s i t o r g a n i s e d b y
t h e N e p a l e s e G o v e r n m e n t w a s t o s e e t h e l o c a l w i l d l i f e
i n c l u d i n g , i f p o s s i b l e , o n e o f t h e s m a l l n u m b e r o f t i g e r s .
B u f f a l o e s a l s o l i v e i n t h e R e s e r v e ( t o g e t h e r w i t h o t h e r s p e c i e s
b e i n g t h e n a t u r a l p r e y o f t i g e r s ) a n d a r e m a i n t a i n e d t h e r e b y
t h e R e s e r v e a u t h o r i t i e s a s a m a t t e r o f p o l i c y . I f t h e r e w a s
n o R e s e r v e t h e n a t u r a l h a b i t a t o f t h e t i g e r a n d i t s f o o d
s o u r c e s w o u l d h a v e a l r e a d y d i s a p p e a r e d i n N e p a l ( a n d h e n c e
t i g e r s ) .
T h e r e i s n o t r u t h i n t h e s t o r y t h a t o n e
b e a s t w a s s p e c i a l l y s t a k e d f o r t h e b e n e f i t o f P r i n c e s s A n n e ,
n o r d i d s h e s e e a b u f f a l o k i l l e d .
4a
M a ^ t i r N S ? L a w s o h - r P r i v a t e S e c r e t a r y t o
H R H T h e P r i n c e s s A n n e , M r s M a r k P h i l l i p s
N i c h o l a s M o r t o n E s q
IMPERIAL COLLEGE
UNION GENERAL MEETING
TO BE HELD ON 26TH JANUARY, 1982
IN THE GREAT HALL AT 1,OOPM.
A G E N D A
1. Minutes of the Last Meeting.
2. Matters A r i s i n g from the Minutes
3. President's Business.
4. Deputy President's Business.
5. Honorary Secretary's Business.
6. CCU Reports.
7. Other O f f i c e r s ' Reports.
8. By-Law Changes.
9. Motions.
DEPUTY PRESIDENT'S REPORT.
Just a b r i e f l i s t of things I've spent money on:
Piano £2635
Concert H a l l Dressing Rooms £701
Lower Lounge Tables £135
Garage f o r Piano £20
Locks and Keys £550
JCR Furniture £500
Dinner with J i l l £ 18
C u r r i e s etc. approx. £30
S t i l l to come:-
Gym Floor and Lockers Southside Lounge Carpet Noticeboards
Union Gents T o i l e t s - Showers!
Don't worry, I w i l l not l e t you down:
PRESIDENT'S REPORT•
QEC.
The r e v i s e d d r a f t Staternent of Intent which met with general approval at the Emergency UGM was passed by our Board of Governors. However, i t was r e j e c t e d by QEC 1s equivalent body. Negotiations are continuing.
I have written to the Vice-Chancellor of the. U n i v e r s i t y seeking assurances on o v e r a l l student numbers etc.
Overseas Students Fees.
We have been given an i d e a l opportunity to p u b l i c i s e the f i n a n c i a l problems faced by overseas students. The Union i s making a half-hour TV programme f o r BBC 2's Open Door series, I have set up a small committee to co-ordinate production but would anybody who f e e l s they have something useful to o f f e r towards the programme please see me.
Ref e c t o r i e s .
The Hoiland Club Refectory operation has been closed down. I am i n t e r e s t e d to know whether or not the Holland Club w i l l take on t h e i r own c a t e r i n g .
The hours of s e r v i c e i n many r e f e c t o r i e s have changed and these have been reported i n F e l i x .
The Southside Refectory i s to move downstairs and at the time of w r i t i n g work i s under way to improve the Lower Refectory. This move w i l l put the ou t l e t nearer the kitchen and should improve the q u a l i t y of the food.
The s t y l e of s e r v i c e i n the r e f e c t o r i e s has changed. The Buttery has a co l d meat and salad bar and a g r e a t l y increased range of sandwiches. The innovat ions were l a r g e l y i n response to the survey so we hope they w i l l prove popular. Souths]de s e r v i c e should also change o f f e r i n g both " f a s t food" and "meat and two veg" type meal. The Union and Sherfie,Id Main w i l l not change g r e a t l y but we are hoping for an improvemeut i n q u a l i t y , agai n in response to survey r e s u l t s .
If any of these changes do not take place, l e t me or Marco know e i t h e r d i r e c t l y or through the Suggest ions and Complaints box. We s t i l l r e l y on student feed-back
BARS.
A major refurbishment of the bar counter area i n Southside i s t aking place. The operation i s being financed through brewery loans. Most of the work should have been done over the vacation - the f i t t i n g company using the excuse of bad weather f o r not doing so. I can only apologise f o r any inconvenience caused and hope that the end r e s u l t i s worthwhile .
E l e c t i o n s (Ho, Ho!)
It i s t r a d i t i o n a l for the President at t h i s time of year to o f f e r to discuss the job with people f o o l enough to want to Ho the job next year. So, budding hacks out there, see me i f you are considering standing. The job i s open to any member of the Union so give the matter some thought. Marco has d e t a i l s of the actual e l e c t i o n procedure.
HONORARY SECRETARY'S REPORT.
The Blue Book.
The Blue Book contains the C o n s t i t u t i o n s and Standing Orders of the Union Committees and also the Union By-Laws. These are always being changed from year to year and the Book needs to be r e g u l a r l y updated. In the past the Book was published each year and had to by typed out from scratch on s t e n c i l s and gestetnered.
I am i n the process of t r y i n g to get the Book put on a word processor which would make a l t e r a t i o n s much simpler and updated copies could be run o f f at any time. Word processor f a c i l i t i e s are a v a i l a b l e i n College but there are no s t a f f a v a i l a b l e to do the actual work of typing the Book i n . If there i s anyone i n t e r e s t e d i n lea r n i n g how to use a word processor at a cost of a few hours typing w i l l they please contact me i n the Union O f f i c e .
I n t e r n a t i o n a l Conference of Students of Technology.
This years INCOST was due to be held i n Poland and plans were s t i l l going ahead up u n t i l the onset of m a r t i a l law. Since then no news has been heard and i t seems u n l i k e l y now that the conference w i l l be held there. A l t e r n a t i v e plans are going ahead to t r y and set up the conference i n Sweden. We wi11 be sending a delegation of students where-ever the venue. So anyone who wants to go should come and see me and I ' l l give them further information.
B Y - L A W C H A N G E S
BY-LAW CHANGE.
Proposed by: N. Morton. Seconded by: M. Ledwold.
By-Law 14.
Insert c) and r e l e t t e r : -
An Emergency General Meeting s h a l l be c a l l e d by the President as he sees f i t or on re c e i p t by him of a. p e t i t i o n signed by not le s s than 150 f u l l members. In the l a t t e r case the meeting s h a l l be held w i t h i n three weeks of rec e i p t of the p e t i t i o n . A l l such meetirigs s h a l l require only seven days notice and s h a l l discuss only the emergency motion(s), d e t a i l s of which s h a l l be posted on a l l Union Noticeboards.
BY-LAW CHANGE.
4. a) Delete 'ULU Representative'.
5. c) Delete 'ULU Representative'.
M O T I O N S
MOTION ON GRANTS.
ICU Notes:
Proposed by: Seconded by:
Martin Taylor Nick Morton.
1. That the government plans to increase student grants by only 4% next year, to £1900 for students i n London 1iving away from home.
2. That in addition the parental c o n t r i b u t i o n s w i l l not be adjusted to take account of i n f l a t i o n , meaning a large increase i n the amount parents w i l l be expected to contribute and taking many more parents over the earnings l i m i t for the f i r s t time.
3. That about 75% of students who should receive a parental c o n t r i b u t i o n do not receive the f u l l amount from t h e i r parents and consequently have to l i v e on l e s s than the f u l l grant.
ICU B e l i e v e s :
1. That i d e a l l y a l l students should receive a f u l l grant, and that the government should be moving i n the d i r e c t i o n of reducing parental c o n t r i b u t i o n s rather than increasing them.
2. That an increase of only 4% would anyway t o t a l l y f a i l to maintain the value of the grant.
ICU Resolves:
1. Not to go on ' s t r i k e ' .
2. To campaign for the b e l i e f s above.
ICU I n s t r u c t s :
The President and E.A.O, to take every opportunity to further the b e l i e f s above, i n conjunction with the U n i v e r s i t y of London Union and other Student Unions.
NEXT UGM
TO BE HELD ON 4TH MARCH, 1982
IN THE GREAT HALL AT 1.00PM.
DEADLINE FOR MOTIONS TO APPEAR IN FELIX 12.30 THURSDAY 18TH FEBRUARY.
Thurs 27th Jan
To celebrate the
opening of the new-
style Southside Bar
Reduced price ale
Bar snacks
Live entertainment
IC Radio Roadshow
Dress: Victorian
ISLAMIC WEEK
The Creator and His Creation 1
Theory
It has only been In the last hundred or so years that scientists have been able to theorise with any authority about the origins of the earth and life on It. That Is, In effect, only "yesterday", If the history of mankind Is thought of as having spanned a single year.
And their discoveries have revolutionized Western man's conceptions—so that he is no longer in awe of the untamed natural world around him, and is even sceptical as to existence of a Supreme Being. Thus he considers it unnecessary to submit himself to the will of God (except in a most limited and perfunctory way on a Sunday). For all the earth's greatest mysteries have been reduced by the scientists to a material—rational cause and effect which neutralizes the necessity to submit oneself in fear and hope to any divinity.
Reasoning
We Muslims believe, and can prove using the valued "reasoning" employed by the sciences, that Western man's complacency with regard to the Supreme Being, God, is based upon a complete misinterpretation of the facts about the universe which have been discovered. Furthermore, it is due to the unwarranted egoism which resulted from the advances in scientific knowledge.
If one were to ask a scientist to opine about how our universe, our earth and the life upon it came into being; his answer would be that the consensus of opinion has it as follows:
Billion BC
"Billions of years ago our universe was a single piece of matter, there was then a Big Bang in the centre of this lump: the result of which was that a lot of energy was produced. This coagulated into the stars, which then themselves gave birth to the heavier elements. Thus our solar system came into being as well as other galaxies. Since there was no res is tance in s p a c e to that primordial momentum generated by the explosion, the stars and the planets remained in regular orbits."
Note the materialist cause and effect that excludes the notion of Supreme Being or Creator or God.
Biology
Similarly, if we were to ask the biologists about the origins of life on earth, he would reply that the latest scientific techniques have enabled scientists to hypothesise with some authority that all life evolved from water. Thus (to> precis the most consistantly expounded theory): In the young primeval a t m o s p h e r e of the earth there were a lot of elements like carbon, oxygen and nitrogen
f loating about along with a tremendous amount of electrical activity. It is thought that the combination of these with the "Primeval Soup" lying around the rocks and oceans of the young earth, produced iife; the primeval matter in the sea generating the protoplasm out of which came the amoeba and then all living things.
Both theories: of the origin of the universe and origin of life on the earth are regarded as scientific "fact" in the West, and indeed is taught as such in schools. The biblical account of creation in Genesis is considered a myth and the onus is on the believers in God to prove the rationality of their faith—something they have hitherto failed to do.
In Islam there is no dichotomy between faith and reason; thus to us it seems that the scientists of the West have not in the past hundred or so years discovered anything new about the universe that undermines a belief in God, in fact it is just the opposite; they have at this late stage merely confirmed what God revealed of his creation to mankind 1400 years ago.
How? Well, if one was to ask the astronomers who know so much about the universe's origins whether it would have been possible for an illiterate Arab living over 1400 years ago in the A r a b i a n Desert to know his scientific facts about the universe,
he would retort in the negative with some vehemence. Yet look at what Muhammed (peace be upon him), born in 570AD was saying under the inspiration of God:
"Do not the Unbelievers (aetheists and agnostics) see,
That the Heavens and the Earth Were joined together (as one unit
of creation) Before we clove them asunder."
(from the Koran/the Prophets)
and:
"And it is He (God) who created, the Night and the Day, the Sun and the Moon All move along; each in its orbit."
(from Koran/The Prophets)
And again, with regard to the origins of life on the earth, the biologists whose theories about the origins of life are regarded as fact, would not credit it that someone living over 1400 years ago would know what he knows only now; yet M u h a m m e d (upon whom be peace) said under the inspiration of God:
"And We made from water
Every living thing
Will they then not believe?"
(Koran/Prophets)
and:
"O Mankind
If you are in doubt concerning the Resurrection,
We created you from dust then from a drop of seed then from a clot then from a iittle lump of flesh,
shapely and shapeless that we may make it clear for you And We cause what We will to
remain
In the womb for an appointed time."
(Koran/The Pilgrimage)
Thus we can see that scientists, have at this late stage merely confirmed what God revealed of his creation to man all those 1400 years ago. Thus there is no warrant for the scepticism about a divinity brought on in the West by these scientific theories rather than the logical conclusion to be drawn from the theories is that Author and Prime Mover of the Big Bang and the Water from which we came into being is worthy of our submission and praise. For otherwise we would have to accept the preposterous implications of the scientists' theories: that random Chance Operation was the lynchpin that instigated our universe.
"Life" whatever your opinion of it, must be self-replicating—be able to reproduce itself over and , over again. DNA is the basis of life and is an incredibly complicated structure, a double helix with millions of atoms arranged in a special code of four letters. Consider the complexities of D N A ' s s e l f - r e p l i c a t i o n — u n winding, its intricate form to divide into two seperate individuals which then each find exact replicas to attach themselves to in what has been called a "zipping up" operation. This being possible because there was a yet more infinitesimally intricate process at work, instigated by the catalyst enzymes acting as a "biomachine" for the DNA. So intricate and infinitely complex are the forces at the basis of life—yet we are asked this was the product of a random process, without external inspiration!
It is not an exaggeration to say that it is like being asked to accept that a tornado blowing through a scrapyard could produce a typewriter in whose carriage was a full instruction sheet describing how to make another typewriter. And not only that but the tornado produced all the tools essential to make that typewriter!!
Surely this is too improbable and has to be dismissed. Then there is the Sir Fred Hoyle theory that evolution commenced in deep s p a c e and then genes showered onto the earth mixed with the primeval soup to start life. Sir Fred claims that a super intelligent computer in deep space planning, executing and controlling all life. If that is so who designed and made that computer in deep space. For a Muslim the answer is easy, it is
"God there is no God but He, the living, the self-subsisting eternal. No slumber can cease Him nor sleep. His are all things in the Heavens and the Earth. None can intercede in His presence except as He wills. He knows what appears to His creatures in the past, present and future. None can encompass. His knowledge except as He wills. His throne does extend over the Heavens and the Earth and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving it, for He is the most High, the Supreme in Glory.
Al-Koran (ll;255)
I S L A M I C W E E K P R O G R A M M E
O F E V E N T S
Monday, January 25
Introductory Talk on Islam, 6:00pm, ME542.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • I k -
Tuesday, January 26
The Brandt Report: An Islamic Perspective, 1:15, 542.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • i t *
Wednesday, January 27
Bookstall , J C R , 1:00-2:30pm.
Thursday, January 28
English Muslims, 1:15pm, ME542
Friday, January 29
Films: Afghanistan and Eritrea, 6:00pm, ME542.
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