human behavior model; general theory of human behavior
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Beyond All Doubt(The Explanation of Human Behavior)
www.humanbehaviorexplained.ning.com
www.linkedin.com/in/davewrona
Version 1.04
Copyright © 2009 David J. Wrona.
All Rights Reserved.
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All Rights ReservedI am providing an electronic copy of this for free, I am also retaining all ownership rights of what is presented here
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12 Words Say It All
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12 Words Say It All
All human behavior is an attempt to remove doubt from our lives
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Doubt Is the Constant in Human Behavior
Doubt is the engine that drives behaviorDoubt removal is the equivalent of gravityTrying to remove doubt from our lives is the equivalent of gravity trying to pull everything to the center of the earth
Not only is this happening constantly in both casesIt is the predominant thing happening
• Everything else is minor
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What about fear?Doesn’t fear, our need to survive, fear of death drive our behavior? No
Fear is very powerful and emotionally charged but it’s not running the showWhy do we fear anything? We fear it because we DOUBT we will be safeDoubt is always present when fear is and it always arrives firstFor fear to be the driving force behind human behavior it would always have to be present and it would have to be present in the absence of doubt
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The Behavior Process
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The Behavior ProcessWe consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one moment
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The Behavior ProcessWe consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one momentWe choose the one we have the least amount of doubt in and we act that out
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The Behavior ProcessWe consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one momentWe choose the one we have the least amount of doubt in and we act that outThis is all we do, we do this over and over and over again, constantly
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The Behavior ProcessWe consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one momentWe choose the one we have the least amount of doubt in and we act that outThis is all we do, we do this over and over and over again, constantlyThis is the only behavior “transaction” or “instance of behavior” that exists in the world
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The Behavior ProcessWe consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one momentWe choose the one we have the least amount of doubt in and we act that outThis is all we do, we do this over and over and over again, constantlyThis is the only behavior “transaction” or “instance of behavior” that exists in the world6.8 billion people on the planet are all doing the exact same thing, for every second of their lives
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The Behavior Cycle
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The Behavior CycleEach “behavior transaction” or instance of behavior goes through a behavior cycleEvery instance of behavior goes through the same cycleThe cycle has four stages
The Behavior Cycle
I Judge
I Act I Think
I Want
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The Behavior CycleWe start by wanting somethingWe think about it
Do I want it?Should I want it?Can I do it/Can I get it?What’s the best plan to get what I want?
We evaluate our options, we make a judgment (decide which one we have the least amount of doubt in)We act
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The Behavior CycleNow people tell me, “That cycle’s not true, there are a lot of times when I don’t want anything”
The times when we “don’t want anything”are simply times when we can’t see clearly enough to see what we want, we always want something
Here’s my favorite example of people insisting that they don’t want anything
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The Behavior CycleI don’t want anything; I just want…
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The Behavior CycleI don’t want anything; I just want…
How many of us have heard that, or said that?Here is a person insisting that they don’t want anything and yet they can’t even make it out of the sentence, they can’t even make it two seconds without declaring something that they want
Let’s look at some positive and negative examples
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The Behavior CycleNegative things heard during an argument or a fight
I don’t want anything; I just want…• You to leave me alone• You to shut up• You to drop dead
– Hmmm, that’s not wanting much is it? “I don’t want anything; I just want you to drop dead”
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The Behavior CycleHere are some “positive” things
I don’t want anything, I just want…• You to be happy• My kids to have more opportunities than I did• Peace on Earth
– Just “Peace on Earth”, that’s all?
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The Behavior CyclePeople also tell me “Well yeah, I want things, but I don’t always want to be doing what I’m doing, sometimes I want to be doing something else”
This notion of doing something other than what we want to be doing is perfectly summed up with this commonly heard phrase…
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The Behavior CycleI don’t want to but I have to…
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The Behavior CycleI don’t want to but I have to…
How many of us have heard that or said that?• I’d guess just about all of us have heard it and
said it
Let’s look at a couple of examples
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I Don’t Want to But I Have toGoing to work is a big one of these
I don’t want to go to work but I have to• Of course I want to go to work. I want to go
to work more than I want to suffer the consequences that I anticipate I will endure by not going to work
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I Don’t Want to But I Have to“Your money or your life!”
Here’s a classic one with the notion being, I don’t want to give the robber my money but I have to• Of course I want to give him my money. I
want to give him my money more than I want to suffer the consequences of not giving him my money which may include being killed
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The Behavior CycleWe are always doing what we want, given the options we see available to us, quite frequently many of us would prefer to have better options available
But of the options that we see available we always pick the one that we think is in our best interest at that particular moment, that will leave us feeling the most secure right then, we are never in a situation where “have to” and “want to” are different things, at least not when we are talking about options that are actually available
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The Behavior CycleLet’s go back and review what the Behavior Process is
We consider all of the possibilities that we can see available to us at any one momentWe choose the one we have the least amount of doubt in and we act that out• The one with the least amount of doubt is the
one we want, it is what we want
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The Behavior CycleMaybe the “possibilities that we can see available to us” are all bad
Maybe we can see 10 options and we don’t like any of themMaybe our “want” is to make the best of a horrible situation
• Having only options that we don’t like does not invalidate the Behavior Cycle
– We are still going through this cycle and our behavior (act) is still fulfilling our want, based on our best judgment of the options we think are available to us
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The Behavior Cycle
I Judge
I Act I Think
I Want
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The Behavior Cycle SummaryEvery instance of behavior, every behavior transaction has a behavior cycle that it goes though
The cycle has four stages• I want• I think• I judge• I act
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The Behavior Cycle SummaryWe start by wanting somethingWe think about it
Do I want it?Should I want it?Can I do it/Can I get it?What’s the best plan to get what I want?
We evaluate our options, we make a judgment (decide which one we have the least amount of doubt in)We act
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Four Elementsof Behavior
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Four Elements of BehaviorEvery instance of behavior, every behavior transaction also requires a group of behavior “elements” in order for that behavior to take place.
There are four elements
When these four elements are combined a behavior cycle will complete and a specific instance of behavior will have manifested
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Four Elements of BehaviorIt takes four things to create an instance of behavior, to create a “Behavior Transaction”
Belief SystemsEnergyOpportunityTrigger
If any of these four are lacking, or are lacking sufficient quantity or quality the specific behavior cannot take place
This will become more obvious when we look at the elements individually and look at a picture of how it all comes together, so let’s do that now
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Belief SystemsYou need to believe that it’s humanly possibleYou need to believe that you can do itYou need to believe that you should do it
If you don’t believe all three of these things, the instance of behavior cannot take place
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EnergyYou need enough energyYou need the right kind of energy (your mood has to match)Some other person or thing will also need to have enough of and the right kind of energy, if the behavior involves other people or things
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OpportunityYou have to have the opportunity to engage in the behaviorIf you don’t have the opportunity the behavior can’t take placeIf you don’t believe you have the opportunity (even if you really do) then the behavior can’t take place
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TriggerThere has to be a trigger to initiate the processIt could be a physical, mental or emotional trigger
Quite often all three exist
There’s always a trigger
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Four Elements of BehaviorBelief SystemsEnergyOpportunityTrigger
If any of these four are lacking, or are lacking sufficient quantity or quality, the specific behavior cannot take place
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Four Elements of BehaviorThe four elements combine to create a specific instance of behavior
Any specific behavior only occurs when the four elements combine in that precise way
• Change any of the four elements and the behavior will not occur
If the behavior is already taking place the four elements need to remain stable for the behavior to continue
• Change any of the four elements and that behavior will stop and a new behavior based on the new configuration of the elements will begin
Let’s look at it in picture form
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Four Elements of Behavior
Opportunity
Energy
Beliefs
BehaviorTrigger
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Behavior in ActionThe Hunt
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Behavior in Action – The HuntWe are always on a hunt
We may label it differently and call it• a Goal• an Objective• a Want• a Need• a Desire
We are always on a “mission” (a hunt) to acquire something
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What Are We Hunting For?Ultimately we are always hunting for a feeling
We aren’t really hunting for things, even the basics of food, clothing and shelter
• We are hunting for the feeling we hope we will have by getting those things
• It’s not uncommon that we get the thing that we were hunting for, remain unsatisfied and keep hunting
– That’s because we weren’t hunting for a thing we were hunting for the feeling and the feeling didn’t come with the thing, or the feeling came with it but it didn’t last long so we begin the hunt again
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Behavior in ActionWe are always on a hunt
We are always on a hunt for a feelingThe feeling we are always hunting for is to feel secure, we are always hunting to remove insecurity, to remove doubt• All of the other feelings that we may say we
are hunting for (happiness, love, peace, a feeling of power and control and many others) are all simply different flavors of safe and secure and healthy (minimal doubt)
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Behavior in ActionWe go on both internal and external hunts
Internal hunts are an attempt (conscious or subconscious) to directly gives us the feeling we are looking forExternal hunts are an attempt to acquire control (possession of an object or control of a person or situation) and we hope that control will function as a trigger to lead us to the feeling we are after
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Being Aware ofthe Process
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Being Aware of the ProcessFor any “instance of behavior” any mental snapshot that you make, you can map out two things and prove to yourself over and over and over again, that this really is the way human behavior worksYou can do it for your own behavior or the behavior of anyone elseLet’s look at the two things…
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Being Aware of the ProcessOne – the Behavior Cycle
I wantI thinkI judgeI act
You can look at any behavior, anything that you’ve done and see how proceeding through the first three steps (want/think/judge) led to the fourth, the behavior (act)
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The Behavior Cycle
I Judge
I Act I Think
I Want
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Being Aware of the ProcessTwo – the Four Elements of Behavior
Belief systemsEnergyOpportunityTrigger
You can look at any behavior, anything that you’ve done and look at each of the four elements and see how they came together to create the behaviorYou can also envision how changing any of the four would have changed the behavior
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Four Elements of Behavior
Opportunity
Energy
Beliefs
BehaviorTrigger
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Social Interaction –The Basics
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Social InteractionWhy Do We Do It?
Two reasons for Social InteractionTo get someone else to hunt with usTo get someone else to hunt for us
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Social InteractionWhy Do We Do It?
Two reasons for Social InteractionTo get someone else to hunt with usTo get someone else to hunt for us
These are the only two reasons to purposefully interact with another human being
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Social InteractionWhen we are socially interacting one of five things is going to happen
One – we are going to get the other person to do what we want (hunt with us/for us)Two – we are going to change our objective and do what the other person wants (hunt with them/for them)Three – we are both going to change our objectives to a mutually acceptable one and hunt togetherFour – we are going to leave or stop interactingFive – we are going to become hostile and lash out, argue or fight
This is how simple social interaction is, one of these five things is always going to happen
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Social Interaction – Manipulation The whole point of social interaction is to manipulate (maneuver, coax, entice) other people, to get them to do what we want
We are always on a hunt• We are always on a hunt for a feeling• We are always selfishly in pursuit of the feeling we are
hunting for• When we encounter other people, either purposefully or
accidentally, we immediately either want them to hunt with us, for us, or to get out of the way
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Social Interaction – Manipulation Manipulation has a strong negative connotation and if I could think of a less “negative” word that equally or better describes the essence of social interaction I would use it
The problem is that manipulation (wanting to control others and get them to do what we want them to do) is the essence of social interaction
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Social Interaction – Manipulation Manipulation and being nice
Just because we are trying to control other people and get them to do what we want doesn’t mean we are not being nice, we can be controlling and manipulative while still being nice• We can be nice, loving, caring, supportive,
affectionate, encouraging, cooperative and any other thing that could be considered “good”while still being controlling and manipulative
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Social Interaction – CompatibilityWhat is compatibility?
Compatibility is having the same objectives on a consistent basis
Since we are always trying to manipulate the other person into hunting for us or with us, it’s very handy if we want to go on the same hunts
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Social Interaction – CompatibilityWhen both people want to go on the same hunt, it doesn’t come across as manipulation it comes across as cooperation
Helpful, kind, giving, lovingThis is why compatibility is so important
We are always being selfish and manipulative, it just doesn’t matter when we have the same objective, because when we are on the same “hunt” our selfishness isn’t causing a conflict
• Our selfishness is matched with their selfishness (we have mutually compatible selfish objectives) and therefore there is no conflict
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Social Interaction – CompatibilityOur level of “getting along” with others is directly tied to our compatibility
And our compatibility is directly tied to our objectives, our hunts• And there are two compatibility issues with our
hunts– Do we have the same ultimate objective– Do we have the same plan to get there
– The more we have the same objectives and plans to achieve them the more we “get along”
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Social Interaction SummaryWhen we are socially interacting one of five things is going to happen
One – we are going to get the other person to do what we want (hunt with us/for us)Two – we are going to change our objective and do what the other person wants (hunt with them/for them)Three – we are both going to change our objectives to a mutually acceptable one and hunt togetherFour – we are going to leave or stop interactingFive – we are going to become hostile and lash out, argue or fight
This is how simple social interaction is, one of these five things is always going to happen
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Social Interaction SummaryThere are two reasons for Social Interaction
To get someone else to hunt with usTo get someone else to hunt for us
The point of social interaction is to manipulate other people, to get them to do what we want
Manipulation isn’t “bad” it’s just the way it isWhen both people want to consistently go on the same hunts, it doesn’t come across as manipulation it comes across as cooperation
That is what compatibility is
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Controlling and Modifying Behavior
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Controlling and Modifying Behavior
To produce consistent behavior all four elements (beliefs, energy, opportunity, trigger) must remain stableTo change behavior you only need to change one of themChanging any of the four will result in different behavior, even if all of the other three remain completely unchanged
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Controlling and Modifying BehaviorAttempts to control and modify behavior, like human behavior itself and social interaction, are not complicated at all
We judge a persons actions and pending actions, we decide “like” or “don’t like”This determines encourage or discourage We pick an element of behavior to focus onWe pull them up or drag them down
• That’s all there is to it and we go through the same process whether the attempt to control or modify behavior pertains to us, or to someone else
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Controlling and Modifying Behavior
Attempts to control or modify behavior are principally attached to one element
Beliefs, Energy, Opportunity, Trigger• Beliefs – we try to increase faith or doubt• Energy – we try to change the energy state so
the desired belief system will be active, or an undesired belief system will be inactive
• Opportunity – we try to enhance or diminish• Trigger – we encourage or discourage
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Controlling and Modifying BehaviorTo produce consistent behavior all four elements (beliefs, energy, opportunity, trigger) must remain the sameTo change behavior you only need to change one of themChanging any of the four will result in different behavior, even if all of the other three remain completely unchanged
This is very obvious when we look at it in picture form, so let’s look at that slide again
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Elements of Behavior
Opportunity
Energy
Beliefs
BehaviorTrigger
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Human Behavior ConclusionThere is nothing complicated about human behavior. Individual behavior; social interaction; large or small group behavior; attempts to control or modify behavior, none of them are complicated
It might be very difficult or impossible to control a person or a groups behavior, but none of the behavior is complicated, human behavior simply is not complicated at all
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Human Behavior ConclusionWhen examining behavior the event severity or magnitude doesn’t matter
The process is exactly the same and not complicated whatsoever, whether the behavior involves picking up a water bottle and taking a drink, or ordering an army to invade a country
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Human Behavior ConclusionLikewise, scale doesn’t matter either
An individual, 10 friends in a bar, a group of 100,000 people or the entire human race. The behavior process is identical, everywhere, all of the timeIt doesn’t matter who is engaged in the behavior, how many people are engaged in the behavior, or what the behavior is, the process is always the same and it’s not in the least bit complicated
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Human Behavior ConclusionThere really is only one thing, one “behavior transaction” or “instance of behavior” that is ever going on in the world6.8 billion people on the planet are all doing the exact same thing for every second of their lives
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Human Behavior ConclusionAnd what is that one thing?
We are going through the Behavior Process• We are considering all of the possibilities that we
can see available to us at that precise moment• We are choosing the one we have the least
amount of doubt in and we are acting that out
We are choosing and acting out the behavior that will make us feel the most emotionally (not physically) secure at that exact moment
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Human Behavior ConclusionPeople are physically doing different things, because different things make different people and even the same people at different times, feel the most emotionally secure at any particular moment
But despite the fact that people are doing a wide variety of different things (some of which we love and some of which we hate) people are not “fundamentally” behaving any differently
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Human Behavior ConclusionThe fundamentals are identical for everyone all of the time
Everyone is constantly going through the same Behavior ProcessAll behavior is going through the same Behavior Cycle (I want, I think, I judge, I act)All behavior is made up of the same Behavior Elements (Beliefs, Energy, Opportunity, Trigger)
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Human Behavior ConclusionIt is this universally (species wide) identical fundamental nature of human behavior that offers so much promise and cause for optimism for the human race
The more we accept and embrace how simple human behavior actually is and that all human beings are engaged in the same fundamental behavior all of the time, the better it will be for us as individuals, the people we come in contact with and the human race as a whole
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Human Behavior ConclusionWe will be better off as individuals because
We will have a much better understanding of our own behavior and the behavior of othersAnd that increased understanding will lead to• a reduction of stress in our lives• an increase of feeling safe and secure• a greater capacity to accept and to work with
others, which will lead to better relationships– And all of these will increase our quality of life
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Human Behavior ConclusionThe people around us will be better off
Because the more individuals feel secure, the less threatened they feelAnd the less threatened they feel the less threatening they are to the people around them• And this leads to the people around them feeling
more secure and the people around those people feeling more secure
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Human Behavior ConclusionAnd lastly, the human race as a whole will be better off
Because as each person embraces this model of human behavior and integrates it into their daily life, the human race will be one small step closer to achieving “Peace on Earth”
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