interesting tidbits about trust

Interesting Tidbits about Trust

The three C’s of trustCompetencyCredibilityCharacter

Expertise and excellence matters Reputation matters The less trust the longer the process Low laughter equals low trust Difficult to build but easy to break down

Why You Might Be Clueless

1. All of us have blind spots2. We are all meaning making machines

•About how others see you | your company•About why there is a lack of trust

The Johari Window We see it and so do others Others see it and we do not We do not see it and neither do others We see it but others do not

The Johari Window

1. We see it and so do others2. Others see it and we do not3. We do not see it and neither do others4. We see it but others do not

1. My Public Self 2. My Blind Spots

3. My Hidden Self 4. My unconscious self

Known to others

Unknown to others

1. Inconsistency Unpredictable

Mood swingsPoor follow throughScatter-brained | Mad scientistChange without adequate explanationFlavor of the month ideas

Important Facts and IdeasThe brain craves certaintyUncertainty registers as a threatEmotional states are contagious

--Smile at a baby and she smiles back--Treat an employee rudely…

Antidote to Inconsistency Emotional mastery

Count to 10Set up times to handle employee disputesUse good boundaries

Communication SystemBoundaries (Shift the open door policy)Regular times to update employees Pilot programs

2. Broken Promises Passing the buck I’ll get back with you I will back you up Claiming to have power you don’t have

Antidote to Broken Promises

Do what you say you are going to do Tell the truth about your level of authority Ask for specifics about how to help them Put action items on your calendar Get back to people to share results Clean up loose ends or re-negotiate to

clear any obligations that were unmet Pay attention and listen

3. Poor Listening Interrupting Multi-tasking Discounting Preaching or lecturing Agreeing just to keep the peace

Note: Poor follow through or broken promises can also be an indicator of not listening.

Antidote to Poor Listening Be fully present when speaking Use eye contact Ask for clarification Acknowledge the other person’s

experience Do not engage when the timing is bad.

Instead, reschedule when you can be totally present to the other person’s needs.

4. Lack of Respect Poor listening (as shown in previous

slide) Eye rolling Raising your voice Discounting Embarrasing others

Note: Your behaviors and attitudes are either a bridge or a barrier!

Important Facts and Ideas The number one relationship in the

workplace is the boss-employee relationship.

The number one thing employees want from their bosses is to be liked.

Broken promises, bad listening and a lack of respect makes you look either incompetent or uncaring.

Antidote to Lack of Respect See others differently See yourself differently Become aware of intentions

Chapters 4 and 5 of Stop Relationship Drama

5. Secrecy Meetings behind closed doors Evasive answers to questions Misleading on purpose

Note: The reason managers do this is because of the fear of the rumor mill, but this behavior only makes it worse.

Antidote to Secrecy Keep employees in the loop Tell as much as is practical Ask for patience and cooperation Survey them | ask for their ideas Implement their ideas when possible Shorten the gap during change

6. Reactive Thinking Flavor of the month ideas Change w/o thinking of consequences Discipline by anger instead of policy

Antidote to Reactive Thinking

Create a pilot plan Set a boundary of time then revisit Make no promises without a boundary Report back at intervals Don’t ask for their opinions if it isn’t

going to really matter Apologize if you can’t follow through on

your original promise

7. Conclusions & Illusions Hearing only one side of the story Operating on hearsay and opinion Getting sucked into the drama Favoritism

Antidote to Conclusion & Illusions

Investigate Learn how to separate fact from story Stop the tattling and brown-nosing Look beyond what you hear

7 Trustbusters

1. Inconsistency2. Broken promises3. Poor listening4. Lack of respect5. Secrecy6. Reactive thinking7. Conclusions and Illusions

Plan of Action Assess yourself Assess your organization Create a new vision Develop a step by step plan Measure your results