introduction to investigative report writing post learning domain 18 lt. terrence tingle riverside...

Introduction to Investigative Report Writing

POST Learning Domain 18Lt. Terrence Tingle

Riverside County Sheriff’s Department

Retired

Homework

• Read POST Learning Domain 18 workbook

• Read handout, Devallis Rutledge, “It’s Easy to Write Better Police Reports.”

Present Tense/ Past Tense

• Present tense: I run after the suspect, and take him into custody after I chase him about two blocks.

• Past tense: I ran after the suspect, and took him into custody after I chased him about two blocks.

Third Person/ First Person

• Third person (old style): Writer spoke with the victim.

• First person (what we use now): I spoke with the victim.

• Third person (old style): The undersigned telephoned Mr. Jones.

• First person: I telephoned Mr. Jones.

Passive Voice/ Active Voice

• Passive voice: The walking was done by me.

• Active voice: I walked.

Ernest Hemingway:

“In order to be a great writer a person must have a built in, shockproof crap detector.”

Exercise

• Word simplification exercise.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• Class review.

Exercise

• Sentence tightening exercise.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• Class review.

NOUN

• The name of a person, place, or thing.

• Names: William, Kathleen, Elizabeth.

• Titles: Police officer, deputy sheriff, custodian.

• Places: Riverside; Kansas; London.

• Things: Building, telephone, paper, condom, and many more.

Nouns Showing Possession

• Mr. Smith’s wallet.

• Mr. Porras’ purse.

Verbs

• Show action: The suspect ran.

• Show process: The drunk’s breath smelled of a beer.

• Show existence: She is a good officer .(Forms of the verb “to be.”)

Some Examples of verbs and helping verbs

• Have gone

• Have seen

• Has or have been

• Went

• Saw

• Was

Exercise

• Passive to active voice exercise.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• Class review.

Some Pronouns

• He

• She

• It

• Who

• They

• You

• We

Some Examples of Possessive Pronouns

• His

• Hers

• Its (NO APOSTROPHE!)

• Yours

• Theirs

• My

• Mine

Problems with Pronouns

• THEIR (plural possessive)- NOT “they’re” and not “there.”

• YOUR (singular possessive) –NOT “you’re.”

• ITS (singular possessive)- NOT “IT’S”

Avoid “Myself”

• Try to use “I” or “me.”

• “The car belongs to me” instead of “The car belongs to myself.”

Myself

• Wrong: Myself and Deputy Smith stopped the suspect.

• Right: Deputy Smith and I stopped the suspect.

• Wrong: Myself, Deputy Zamora, and Investigator Munoz testified in the case.

• Right: Deputy Zamora, Investigator Munoz, and I testified in the case.

Is this correct?

• The car belongs to Kim and I.

Corrected

• The car belongs to Kim and me.

• To see if you use “I” or “me,” eliminate the other person’s name and the word “and.” You would not say, “The car belongs to I.”

Is this correct?

• Kim and me used the power saw on the burglar.

Corrected

• You wouldn’t say or write, “Me used the power saw on the burglar”….so it’s:

• Kim and I used the power saw on the burglar.

Pronoun Ambiguity

• Ron told Bob that he should take the car.

Corrected

• Ron told Bob that Bob should take the car.

• Ron told Bob that he (Bob) should take the car.

Re-write this sentence so there is only one possible meaning.

Ms. Ross and Ms. Montgomery both admitted later that they drank a great deal before she drove home.

Re-write this sentence so there is only one possible meaning.

When I arrived, I saw Smith, Johnson, and Jones fighting and before I could stop the fight, I saw him punch Johnson in the face.

Comma- pause in sentence

As I got out of the car to assist the officer and his canine partner, I stepped in dog feces.

Joining clauses:

Bill walked to the store, and I ran there.

Comma- transition words

However, I believed Smith was lying.

“Yeah, I hit the guy.” (Note: it’s “yeah” and not “ya.”)

Therefore, based on the prosecution’s evidence I find the bastard guilty.

Comma- substitute for parenthesis

Deputy Smith, who has had many on duty collisions, crashed his patrol car last night.

Deputy Luna, who likes staying busy, requested a transfer to Moreno Valley.

Commas- dates

>April 3, 20014

>Saturday, July 4, 2015

> Monday, 5-16-14

Commas- lists

Manny, Moe, and Jack.

Manny, Moe and Jack.

(Both styles are okay.)

I put gas in my patrol car, parked the car, unloaded the shotgun, and turned of the computer. (Last comma optional.)

Commas- places

Riverside, California

Cabazon, California

Windsor, Ontario, Canada

Bumfuc, Egypt

Commas- Addresses

1234 Main St., Riverside, California

18671 Double Wide Trail, Cabazon, Ca.

Commas- quote introduction

Smith said, “I took the money because I’m poor.”

I asked Jones if he punched Doe, and Jones replied, “Yeah, I smacked him, but I was really pissed off.”

Comma- classic police report narrative introduction

On Sunday, 5-11-14, at 4:15 AM, RSD dispatch assigned me to investigate a report of a disturbance at 5468 Meadow Lane, Pedley. I arrived at 4:21 AM. –OR-

On Sunday, 5-11-14 at 4:15 AM, RSD dispatch assigned me to investigate a report of a disturbance at 5468 Meadow Lane, Pedley. I arrived at 4:21 AM.

Quotes

Any words in quote marks MUST be the exact words uttered.

(There’s actually one exception to that, but we’re not going to cover it.)

Anybody see anything wrong here?

I fought Wilson to get him into custody. Wilson later apologized and added, “He just gets angry with cops.”

Question Marks

• For police reports, only use when quoting someone….and remember, if it is in quote marks, it has to be the exact words the person you are quoting spoke.

Is this correct?

• I asked Mr. Williams if he hit the victim?

Correct Use of Question Mark

• I asked Mr. Williams if he hit the victim. OR

• I asked Mr. Williams, “Did you hit the victim?”

Colons (not the body part)

Smith said: “I took the beer.”

I am planning a special weekend and will need some supplies: whips, chains, a gag, and an ill-fitting dog collar.

Use of Parenthesis to Define

• Deputy Smith is a member of SEB (special enforcement bureau).

• The inmate said he had been housed in inmate housing area (“tank”) three. OR

• The inmate said he had been housed in “tank” (inmate housing area) three.

That and Had

Instead of:

Smith said that he had punched Johnson.

How about?

Smith said he punched Johnson.

“Began” “Started”

Instead of:

Smith said Porras began punching Ramsey.

How about?

Smith said Porras punched Ramsey.

Instead of:

Walker started insulting Jones.

How about?

Walker insulted Jones.

Another unnecessary (“hidden”) verb

Instead of

I proceeded to read Williams the admonition.

How about?

I read Williams the admonition.

Unnecessary (“hidden”) verb

Instead of:

Based on my investigation, I believe Jones did rob the store.

How about?

Based on my investigation, I believe Jones robbed the store.

Wordiness

Instead of:

I made the comment.

How about?

I said.

Misplaced modifier

Evidence listing:

Black man’s wallet

Corrected

Man’s black wallet.

Misplaced modifier

• The victim told me he fell from the cliff in the interview room.

• “…in the interview room” refers to the victim, not the cliff, so that phrase needs to be moved to the noun (“victim”) it modifies.

Corrected

• The victim in the interview room told me he fell from the cliff.

“I asked, he said.”

I asked Smith if someone hit him. Smith said “yes” someone hit him. I asked Smith who hit him. Smith said Robert Jones hit him. I asked Smith how many times Jones hit him. Smith said Jones hit him three times.

Better

Smith told me Robert Jones hit him three times.

Simplify this

I asked Doe what happened. Doe told me his bicycle had been stolen. I asked him who stole his bicycle. Doe said he didn’t know. I asked Doe when his bicycle had been taken. Doe told me his bicycle had been taken between 3:00 PM and 5:00 PM.

Better

Doe told me an unknown person or persons took his bicycle between 3:00 PM and 5:00 PM.

Concrete words

Is this adequate for a police report without further information? (Hint: no, it’s not.)

Victim Smith said the suspect had a gun.

Class activity: Turn this vague, weak statement into something concrete.

Exercise

• Pronouns, misplaced modifiers, wordiness and hidden verbs exercise.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• Class review.

Exercise

• Paragraph clean-up exercise.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• One lucky class member to put his/her composition on board.

• Other students ridicule this student.

Traditional Paragraph

Police departments must consider certain factors when choosing patrol cars. An agency serving an urban area might consider a smaller car that is maneuverable on narrow city streets. The small car’s short range is overcome by the many gas stations in most urban areas. A department serving a rural area might consider a larger car that holds more equipment and has greater range. Departments serving both urban and rural areas might consider a mixed fleet.

Chronological paragraph 1

On Monday, 6-15-12, I was on duty, in uniform, and driving marked RSD patrol car 11-058. At 9:15 AM I was driving eastbound Highway 111, west of San Pablo Drive, when I saw a blue Honda sedan, California license plate 123ABC, also eastbound Highway 111, fail to stop for the red signal at San Pablo Drive in violation of California Vehicle Code section 21453. The car was in the number one lane.

Paragraph 2

I turned on the patrol car’s overhead emergency lights and the car’s siren, drove through the intersection at San Pablo Drive and got behind the blue Honda. The Honda was still eastbound Highway 111, traveling about 45 miles per hour. The Honda’s driver, the only person I saw in the car, did not pull over after about a quarter mile of travel so I sounded the patrol car’s electronic horn and kept the siren sounding as well. The driver of the Honda still did not pull over……

(report continues)

Paragraphing Exercise

• Students to put sentences in paragraph order.

• Students to complete the exercise individually.

• Individual class members to read his/her completed paragraph.

Paragraphing Exercise II

• Students to put sentences in paragraph order.• Students to consider making two paragraphs out of

these sentences.• Students to complete the exercise individually.• Students to write out completed paragraph at

bottom of the handout page.• Individual class member to read his/her completed

paragraph.

In Order

I arrived at Portola Avenue and Grapevine Street about three minutes after Officer Smith. I saw Officer Smith speaking to two handcuffed men who were seated on the curb at the southwest corner of the intersection. Officer Smith explained to me he was arresting the two men for public intoxication and asked me to assist. I had one of the men, Mark Jones, stand as I told him I was going to search him because he (Jones) was under arrest for public intoxication. I asked Jones if he had anything that might cause me concern on his person and he replied, “no.”

I conducted a cursory pat-down search of Jones and felt a medium-sized, hard object as I was touching his left rear pant pocket. The object felt like a handgun to me. I reached in the pocket and felt the object and became certain the item was a handgun or replica handgun. I removed the object and saw that it was a real semi-automatic pistol (described above as “evidence”).

Field notes

• 21453 VC/FTY; 111/ San Pablo/ unit 11058

• Blu Hnda 123ABC e/b 111 ran red at SP/ 111 #1 lane

• 6/15/12 @ 0915-me: e/b 111@ San Pablo.

• Me; behind sus/overheads w/ siren; FTY for ¼ mile; air horn/siren….

Field Notes to Chronology

• 6/15/12, unit 11058, e/b 111 west of San Pablo.• Blu Honda 123ABC same DOT and in front of me

#1 lane/ 21453 111/SP• Code through intersection and behind car; driver-

sole occ.• FTY for about ¼ mile so hit air horn/ kept siren

Police Report

On Monday, 6-15-12, I was on duty, in uniform, and driving marked RSD patrol car 11-058. At 9:15 AM I was driving eastbound Highway 111, west of San Pablo Drive, when I saw a blue Honda sedan, California license plate 123ABC, also eastbound Highway 111, fail to stop for the red signal at San Pablo Drive in violation of California Vehicle Code section 21453. The car was in the number one lane.

Paragraph Two

I turned on the patrol car’s overhead emergency lights and the car’s siren, drove through the intersection at San Pablo Drive and got behind the blue Honda. The Honda was still eastbound Highway 111, traveling about 45 miles per hour. The Honda’s driver, the only person I saw in the car, did not pull over after about a quarter mile of travel so I sounded the patrol car’s electronic horn and kept the siren sounding as well. The driver of the Honda still did not pull over……

(report continues)

Sentences/Paragraph

• Change each entry to a sentence appropriate to a report.

• Use first person, active voice.

• After creating the sentences, create a paragraph.

• I will chose students to place their composition on the board.

Theft

• Theft frame: 5/12/11@1315 and 5/13/11@0120

• Neighbors talked to by victim- no one saw or heard anything.

• Bicycle unlocked; east side of house, laying on lawn.

• No footprints seen by reporting officer [you].

Exercise

• You have stopped a car for a vehicle code infraction.

• You find what appears to be a beer in the vehicle and arrest the driver who is the car’s only occupant.

• Compose a paragraph from the following field notes of the stop.

Open Container

• Sus Smith, “Yeah, that’s my beer.” while pointing to container

• Opn con- ½ filled- “Bud Light” 12 oz can, cup holder, cntr frnt

• Smelled like beer; dumped gutter- gldn, bubbles, foam.

Witness Statement

Lisa Wilson interview; interviewed away from others. said she’s v Smith’s friend; does not know sus. Wilson said sus struck vic once with his right fist on v’s left ear while yelling, “Asshole.” Per Wilson vic/sus arguing over parking space; v made no aggressive move or statements; never hit sus. Wit poss ID by pointing to sus.

Theft- one version

Smith told me he left his bicycle unlocked and laying on the lawn on the east side of his house about 1:15 PM on Monday, 5/12/12. He told me he discovered the bicycle missing about 1:20 AM on Tuesday, 5/13/12. Smith said he didn’t hear or see anything he considered suspicious during this time, nor did the several neighbors he spoke with. I checked the area for footprints the suspect or suspects may have left, but found none.

Open Container- one version

I shone my flashlight on a can in the car’s front center console. Without me asking, Smith said, “Yeah, that’s my beer” and handed me the can. As Dep. Jones spoke with Smith, I examined the can Smith handed me and the can’s contents. The can was labeled “Bud Light” and “12 ounces.” The can appeared about half-filled with a substance that smelled like beer to me. As department rules do not allow the collection of alcoholic beverages for evidence storage in misdemeanor cases, I poured the contents of the can in the gutter. I saw the fluid was golden, had bubbles, and foamed as it hit the ground.

Witness statement- one version

I spoke with Lisa Wilson during the initial investigation and out of hearing range of others at the scene. Ms. Wilson said she is victim Smith’s friend, does not know the suspect, and saw the battery. Wilson told me the suspect and Smith were arguing over a parking space when the suspect, using his right fist, hit Smith once on Smith’s left ear while yelling, “Asshole.” According to Wilson, Smith made no aggressive move or statement. I asked Wilson if she could identify the suspect and she pointed directly to the person Dep. Jones had detained.

Witness statement- another version

I spoke with Lisa Wilson during the initial investigation and out of hearing range of others at the scene. Ms. Wilson told me the following:

She is victim Smith’s friend, does not know the suspect, and saw the battery. The suspect and Smith were arguing over a parking space when the suspect, using his right fist, hit Smith once on Smith’s left ear while yelling, “Asshole.” Smith made no aggressive move or statement.

I asked Wilson if she could identify the suspect and she pointed directly to the person Dep. Jones had detained.

Quiz

• Each student to complete quiz individually.

• We’ll review in class.

• Students to turn in the quiz.

Choppy Sentences

• I am suspending investigation in this case. There are no known witnesses to the incident. There is no suspect identified. There is no retrievable physical evidence. The victim does not want prosecution.

• Better: I am suspending this investigation because there are no known witnesses, no suspect is identified, there is no retrievable physical evidence, and the victim does not want prosecution.

Use of Bullet Points

I am suspending investigation in this case:

>There are no known witnesses to the incident.

>There is no suspect identified.

>There is no retrievable physical evidence.

>The victim does not want prosecution.

Bullet Points

I believe Robert Wilson stabbed John Doe several times in a deliberate attempt to kill Doe. This belief is supported by:

>Wilson’s admission to the offense.>Wilson’s detailed recounting of the incident.>Wilson’s statements in which he said he wanted to kill Doe.>The apparent blood Deputy Veck and I saw on Wilson’s hands and shirt.>Witness statements.>The life threatening nature of the wounds.>The violence of the attack.>Wilson’s belief that Doe was a “snitch.”

I am forwarding this case to the district attorney and requesting the DA charge

Robert Wilson with the attempted murder of John Doe.

Run-on Sentence

I put a portion of the off-white powder in the California Department of Justice (DOJ) test dish and added chemicals from the DOJ test kit following the instructions in the kit, and noticed an immediate, strong reaction to the amphetamine test, and then I weighed the substance using the station’s triple-beam scale, which showed the powder weighed 2.3 grams.

• –Break the run-on sentence into several smaller sentences, making the breaks at the appropriate conjunction (conjunctions include the words: AND, OR, and BUT).

Corrected

• I put a portion of the white powder in the Department of Justice (DOJ) test dish and added chemicals from the DOJ test kit following the instructions in the kit. I noticed an immediate, strong reaction to the amphetamine test. I weighed the substance using the station’s triple-beam scale, which showed the powder weighed 2.3 grams