listening

DR. Angelo Smith M.DWHPL

EFFECTIVE LISTENING

What is Listening?

• listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention

• Effective communication is 2-way– depends on speaking and listening

Listening vs. Hearing

• Hearing- physical process; natural; passive

• Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill

• Listening is hard!

You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Fast Facts

• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm

• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful

• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear• More than 35% of businesses think listening is a

top skill for success• Less than 2% of people have had formal

education with listening

Percentage of Communication

Mode of Communication

Formal Years

of Training

Percentage of Time Used

Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few hours 45%

Indicators of Poor Listening in an employee

• Receiving an above normal amount of written communication.

• Feeling left out of important projects.• Missing Important meetings. • Reacting to problems rather than

preventing problems. • Being perceived as slow or inept. • Being manipulated easily by others.

Why Be A Good Listener?Needs of the Customer…

• To be recognized and remembered• To feel valued• To feel appreciated• To feel respected• To feel understood• To feel comfortable about a want or need• To be involved in the decision making process.• To develop a Positive attitude towards the

product / service• To feel is a part of

• most significant for entry-level positions

• most important for promotion to upper management

• most observed in successful CEOs and upper managers

• most critical in distinguishing effective from ineffective subordinates

• most critical for managerial competency

• most needed for improvement in communication

• most important for career competence

• most important for organizational success

As an employee ?

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment

…a way of saying, “You are important.”

Listening builds stronger relationships…creates a desire to cooperate among

people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.

Listening promotes being heard…”Seek first to understand, then be understood.”

- Stephen Covey

Listening creates acceptance and openness

…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

Listening leads to learning…openness encourages personal growth and learning

Listening reduces stress and tension

…minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution

…much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

Barriers to Listening• Equate With

Hearing• Uninteresting

Topics• Speaker’s Delivery• External

Distractions• Mentally Preparing

Response

• Listening for Facts• Personal

Concerns• Personal Bias• Language/Culture

Differences• Faking Attention

Bad Listening Habits

• Criticizing the subject or the speaker

• Getting over-stimulated• Listening only for facts• Not taking notes OR outlining

everything• Tolerating or creating distraction• Letting emotional words block

message• Wasting time difference between

speed of speech and speed of thought

Mental Distractions

Module 3 3–18

Nonverbal Communication

• 10% =

• 55% =

• 35% =

• 10% is Content; 90% is Intent

Active Listening• … Allows you to make sure you hear the

words and understand the meaning behind the words

• Goal: go beyond listening to understanding

Step 1: Listen• To Feelings As Well As Words

– Words – Emotions -- Implications• Focus on Speaker

– Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted• What Is Speaker Talking About?

– Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?• Look At Speaker• Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

Step 2: Question• 3 Purposes

– Demonstrates you are listening– Gather information– Clarification

• Open-ended– Tell me more?– How did you feel?– Then what happened?

Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase

• Reflect What Is Said (In your words)• Reflect Feelings• Reframe

– Capture the essence of the communication

– Remove negative framing– Move toward problem solving

Step 4: Agree

• Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing• Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!• Solution Is Near!

7 Ways to Improve Your Listening• Here are 7 strategies and suggestions to help

you improve your listening skills.

– 1.) Increase your listening span: • Try to resist the temptation to interrupt.

• Make sure the speaker has had a complete chance to make his or her point before you speak.

• If you don't get the whole message, ask the speaker to repeat what they said.

• 2.) Take time to listen: – Don't put obvious limitations on your

listening time - the speaker will feel rushed.

• 3.) Listen between the lines: – Don't just listen to what is being said.

– Try to understand the attitudes, needs and motives behind the words.

• 4.) Give your full attention: – Nodding or interjecting occasionally to

clarify a point lets the speaker know you are interested.

– If the speaker pauses briefly, don't rush to fill the silence.

– Use open-ended questions to encourage elaboration.

• 5.) Restate the message: – When you are sure that the speaker

has finished, restate the main points.

– This is a good organizing strategy for you.

– It also gives the speaker assurance that the message has been received.

• 6.) Listen for ideas as well as facts: – A good listener makes an effort to

understand what the facts add up to.

• 7.) Don't monopolize: – Resist the urge to dominate a situation or to

feel that you know everything about a situation.

– Be open to new ideas and allow the speaker to have his or her say.

Listening VocabularyRead the vocabulary list. Look them up on the internet. Read the following definitions, and place the letter of the correct word on the line in front of the definition.

A hearing F evaluatingB listening G eye contactC hearing impairment H body languageD passive listening I pitchE active listening J monotone

1. _____ A physical condition that limits a person’s ability to hear sounds. 2. _____ Listening in which the listener responds by concentrating on the speaker’s words. The listener may ask questions of the speaker. 3. _____ Movements and actions such as hand gestures and body posture. 4. _____ An unchanging voice, expressing no emotion or interest. 5. _____ The physical ability to perceive sound. 6. _____ The process of interpreting and judging the speaker’s message in order to decide how to respond. 7. _____ Listening with little or no response to the speaker. 8. _____ How high or low the speaker’s voice is. 9. _____ Looking directly at the speaker while he is talking.10._____ The process of hearing a speaker’s words and understanding the speaker’s message.

Listening Vocabulary - KEY 1. __C___ A physical condition that limits a person’s ability to hear sounds. 2. __E___ Listening in which the listener responds by concentrating on the speaker’s words. The listener may ask questions of the speaker. 3. __H___ Movements and actions such as hand gestures and body posture. 4. __J___ An unchanging voice, expressing no emotion or interest. 5. __A___ The physical ability to perceive sound. 6. __F___ The process of interpreting and judging the speaker’s message in order to decide how to respond. 7. __D___ Listening with little or no response to the speaker. 8. __ I ___ How high or low the speaker’s voice is. 9. __G___ Looking directly at the speaker while he is talking.10.__B___ The process of hearing a speaker’s words and understanding the speaker’s message.

Gender Barriers How accurate are you in determining gender differences? Directions: For each

question, write “M” if you think the answer is men; write “W” if you think it is women; write “S” if you think it is the same for both men and women.

___1. In office discussions, who usually talks more often?___2. Who is better at interpreting nonverbal cues while listening?___3. When speaking to others, who tends to attach more tag

questions (such as “Don’t you agree?” and “Right?”) to statements?

___4. Who is more likely to view a conversation in a competitive rather than cooperative manner?

___5. In office discussions, who usually works harder to keep the conversation going?

___6. During a conversation, who tends to interrupt more often?___7. While listening, who is less likely to ask questions, especially

if asking will reveal a lack of knowledge?___8. Whom do colleagues consider the better listener?

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