loki's bachelor challenge: prologue

The School of Hard Knocks, usually means learning how to deal with the

hardships that life brings to us. In this context it means that one of my favoured

spares was “knocked around hard” by someone at school. Or Uni as this case

may be. And well since I adore my precious Loki and hate to see him hurt I

want to give him a special gift, like a chance to find his true love…Bachelor

Challenge style.

Even though Loki has subscribed to being the light to his heir-brother’s dark I

can assume he won’t approve of my “gift” but he’s getting it anyway. A Jedi is

not supposed to love or fall in love, I mean look what happened to Anakin

Skywalker when he broke the rules for Padme Amidala, he became Darth

Vader. Not Loki though, the title of Darth is more suited to his Sith-obsessed

brother Thanos.

The question of Thanos’ sanity is still up for debate but if you were paying

attention to my “subtext” in the last Altered Fates chapter, then maybe Thanos

is not so crazy after all…Loki may be hiding a secret or two.

“This must be the right address, I wonder if she’ll remember me…”

“Hmm, this place looks oddly familiar, it has to be her…”

“Well the red roses are a nice touch, it’s like she knew I was coming…”

“Should I ring the bell or just make a grand entrance? Hmm, decisions,

decisions. Ah who am I kidding? I love grand entrances!!”

“Well, there’s no turning back now…Ani-Mei darling!! It’s me your favourite

Love Guru!!”

Cupid: Ani-Mei!! I’m here!!

“What the hell?”

Cupid: Who are you knave? Where’s Lady Ani-Mei??!

Gabriel: This is my house you feathered freak, Ani-Mei isn’t here.

Cupid: Lies!! Where is she?

Gabriel: In Duality A!! This is Duality B dumbass!!

Cupid: Duality B? What kind of name is that?

Gabriel: The name of this place. And why the hell are you in my house?

Cupid: I—I she called me, she said she needed me to help another heart-broken legacy

spare…you aren’t him are you?

Gabriel: Hell no. I don’t need help with love, I’m awesome.

Cupid: So who is the love-lorne spare? And what is his story?

Gabriel: You won’t go away will you?

Cupid: Can’t. Sorry. Someone is in need of the God of Love, I have been an instrumental

part of two very successful matches, you know Sol—

Gabriel: Shut up, don’t care.

Cupid: Rude much?

Gabriel: This is Duality B, feather-freak, if you want nice and polite go to Duality A, here

mean and rude are par for the course. The freak of nature who supposedly needs you has

10 Nice points and got burned by some sorority skank. Ani-Mei went all girly-girl on him

and wanted to do a Bachelor Challenge. I don’t care about it but since she calls the shots

around here I get stuck with you.

Cupid: So that’s what she wanted me for.

Cupid: So did you tell him about it?

Gabriel: No! I haven’t even met the green freak. That wasn’t my job, it was yours!

Cupid: How am I supposed to tell him if I don’t even know him? You’re the simself here,

it IS your job to tell him.

Gabriel: And I said, I don’t care!

Cupid: Look, I’ll tell you what, we play some pool and talk it out like gentleman.

Gabriel: Uh huh…

Cupid: Ani-Mei will probably tell us what the plan is soon enough.

Gabriel: Fine, but no wimpy crying when I kick your ass. Deal?

Cupid: Deal, and I don’t cry.

Gabriel: Why are you up first?

Cupid: Alphabetical order, C before G.

Gabriel: Ani-Mei better make this up to me…sticking me with you…

Cupid: I’m sure she will.

Cupid: So tell me about the bachelor.

Gabriel: What’s to tell? He’s an alien, too freakin’ nice, and the spare.

Cupid: Is that all?

Gabriel: He’s also a Senior in college. Like I said, unless something goes horribly wrong I

don’t care.

Cupid: That can’t be all you know, I mean you’re the simself here.

Gabriel: Dude, are you seriously telling me how to do my job? I have powers and I will

use them if you piss me off.

Cupid: And I’m a god, so I have powers too. Bring it on.

Gabriel: I see, you are challenging me to a duel of powers then is that it?

TWEEET!!! Time out boys. No need to blow up my hood okay?

Cupid: Thank Hera, there you are darling, now what is this all about?

Loki needs a girl who will love and adore him, he was cheated on by as Gabriel put it, a

sorority skank. Which surprised me since I half expected Heather to do it, not Tiffany.

Anyway, I felt bad and wanted to give him a chance of a lifetime.

Gabriel: So you sent this feathered freak to crash at my place until Loki has

graduated? I can’t believe you didn’t even ask if I wanted a roommate.

Gabe, honey I love you but don’t be mean-er…it’s only temporary.

Gabriel: Couldn’t you have sent Aphrodite instead?

No. Now about Loki…

Cupid: So whoever wins two out of three gets to tell Loki. Ready?

Gabriel: This is so stupid…

Cupid: Rock, Parchment, Lightning Bolt…

Gabriel: Lightning bolt?

Cupid: I’m Greek remember?

Cupid: Oh yeah!! Lightning Bolt burns

up paper!! I win!! You get to tell Loki.

Gabriel: IT WAS RIGGED!! DAMNIT!!

Sorry Gabe, you lost.

Gabriel: I don’t want another

roommate!!

Once Loki finishes college, this will all be a bad memory…I may just torture

Tiffany for fun despite this.

Oh and don’t think I’ve forgotten you Peyton…you will share Tiffany’s Fate.

And no one is going to Alter it…

I have three more contestants to sign up as of right now and I hope this

Bachelor Challenge will be as entertaining as my last two. Solan and Virgil can

vouch for that, Cupid knows what he’s doing.

See you soon.