look how far we’ve come, in writing 421

Look How Far We’ve Come,In Writing 421

Lesley HardwickMr. Kelly

Writing 421 OmegaJanuary 28 2014

“My Watermark Event” I chose this essay because Mr. Kelly

provided criticism for it that I’ve used in every writing piece since then.

“Awk way to end the

intro.”I’m also very fond of this essay because I wrote about a nice memory that I’ve never shared with anyone before.

How Did I Write This?

Chose event Brainstormed First draft

Final copy Peer edited

I began to write this essay by choosing a memory in my brain that makes me happy when I feel sad. After I chose this topic, the words just seemed to flow.

“My Watermark Event”I thought that my heart was in the right place

and I had the right ideas in this piece.

However, there were many choppy sentences and lots of awkward sentences. If I could change it now, I would want more fluency.

“A great story and fantastic tribute

to your grandma. Well done Lesley!”

In the end, despite my awkward introduction paragraph, I did get some good feedback.

Excerpt

“My Twin History”

This particular essay marked the very first six out of six that I’ve gotten in Mr. Kelly’s class. That’s one reason why I’ve chosen to talk about it. Another reason is because it’s one of my more emotional pieces. This essay helped me to really grow as a writer. It helped to bring out my emotional side of writing.

How Did I Write This?

To write this piece, all I had to do was tell the truth. It was the easiest thing I’ve written this semester.

Picked a history Searched in heart for feelings

Final copy Peer edited Rough copy

“My Twin History”After seeing this feedback from Mr. Kelly, I saw that

the writing that came straight from the heart was not only easier to write, but more beautiful and sweeter to read.

“Lesley, I’m speechless. This was beautifully

written! Excellent essay & tribute!”

Personally, I do think that this was my best work. However, this essay wouldn’t be where it is today without the help of my peer-editor, Brittany Murphy.

What I like about this essay is that all I had to do was tell the truth about the relationship with my twin to get full marks.

Excerpt

Writing 421

Writing can be made fun!

Respect

Grammar

Reading period is for reading

Lab days

Final Reflections