negotiation skills and conflict handling

Negotiation Skills & Conflict Handling

by

Ziaur RahmanCEO, IITM

www.iitmbd.orgEmail: infoiitm@yahoo.com

Negotiation

A process where mandated representatives

meet in order to resolve their differences

and reach agreement. The outcome is often

dependent on the power relationship

between the groups.

Types of negotiations

1. Positional Negotiation

2. Interest Based Negotiation

3. Competitive Negotiation

4. Co-operative Negotiation

5. Principled Negotiation

Barriers to negotiation

1. Poor communication skills

2. Overreacting & emotional responses

3. Misunderstandings

4. Conditioned or learned responses

5. Relationship dynamics

Rules for negotiation

1. Be strategic and deliberate with words

2. Be willing to prepare & prepare well

3. Have high expectations

4. Be patient in listening

5. Maintain your integrity

Negotiation essentials

Communicate• No clear lines of communication = no

negotiation.• “problems" fall into three categories: - perception, - emotion, and - communication.• "Facts, even if established, may do nothing to solve the problem."

Negotiation essentials

Co-operate

• Be cooperative, but don't let your guard down.

• Statistics show that cooperative negotiators are more effective than competitive negotiators.

• However, in positional bargaining, a hard

game dominates a soft one.

Negotiation essentials

• Listen• THE POWER IS IN LISTENING• • Ask questions, test for understanding,• summarize, and listen, listen, listen…...• • Get more by finding out what others wants than• by clever arguments for what you need.• • The cheapest concession you can make is to

let• others know they have been heard.

Some Negotiating lessons are tough to take...

Negotiation winners

1. Have a Game Plan

2. Focus on Your Goals

3. Identify the Issues

4. Have Powerful Justifications

5. Evaluate, Evaluate, Evaluate

6. Pay Attention to Closure

Negotiation gems

• Apply Power Negotiation

• Leverage

• Remember The Game Plan

"The truly gifted negotiator, then, is one

whose initial position is exaggerated enough

to allow for a series of concessions that will

yield a desirable final offer from the

opponent, yet is not so outlandish as to be

seen as illegitimate from the start."

Gifted Negotiator

The Pre-Negotiation Planning Phase

• Decide if Subject Matter Expert involvement required• Research options/issues and precedence's• Understand the motivators of affected stakeholders• Know impact of each option (time, cost, quality, scope)• Risk/opportunity assessments• Timing issues (urgency, best time to meet, etc)• Summarize pros and cons

The Pre-Negotiation Planning Phase

• Cultural considerations (people and Enterprise)• Formulate strategy based on knowledge of the

stakeholders• Pre-meeting info dissemination• Invite appropriate empowered representatives• Set conducive agenda, facilities, timeslot, and refreshments• Plan for timely post negotiation action• Plan for analysis of “lessons learned” after negotiating

Understanding Key MotivatorsThink back to the last time you were blindsided by an unexpected motivator. What was it?

Typical tangible motivators:•Fiscal impacts (Enterprise & for their own or department)•Workload/Overtime/training/vacation impact•Contractual/Organizational issues, etc

Less Tangible:•Desire to be heard and have their needs acknowledged•Desire to save face/look good in the eyes of others•Resistance to change (fear of unknown/untried)•Desire to satisfy their own or bosses hidden agenda•Biases, dislikes, ethnic customs, political alliances, etc•Emotional (and why should they trust you?)TIP: Learn to read body language

Handling Emotions

Emotional

ChallengesAnger/exasperation

Insulted

Guilt

False flattery

Recommended

ResponseAllow venting. Probe for why

What wouldn’t be insulting?

Focus on issues

Re-focusTips:

•Don’t lose your cool (remember the swan!).

•Try to defuse with acknowledgement, empathy, patience, impartiality.

•Consider dealing with less emotional issues first

•Know your own “Hot Buttons”

•Practice (consider Toastmasters, etc)

Negotiating around Fixed Positions

Probe for the beliefs and goals behind the fixed position.

Example of a fixed position: “I will not agree to outsource, regardless of savings”Surface goal: “Not to be burned the way we were 5 years ago”Underlying belief: “Work is controllable if we do it in-house”Underlying goals: To have control, stability, minimum risk, and not have to lay-off anyone.

Underlying realities: Managing this work in-house is a costly pain, and not our core skill. These people can be redeployed on urgent backlog.

Now you have the basis for analysis of alternatives, risks, contingencies, develop pros and cons, then negotiate!

Practice Win-Win Negotiations 1. Establish rapport and common goals2. Probe for understanding of beliefs, goals, win-win

options, and hidden stakeholder motivators 3. Paraphrase for confirmation/affirmation4. Analyse outcomes and risks5. Summarize what was agreed on, and next steps

(even if these are only “baby steps”)

Tips:• If stalled, back up to a fundamental that you can

agree on (e.g. “We both want to make this a profitable venture”)

• Build on this common ground (recycle if necessary) • Avoid emotional responses (even if insulted)• Consider interim options (or postponement) if

undesirable outcome is imminent or key information is missing.

Objectives for this Session

• Contrast conventional negotiation techniques with the interest-based approach to negotiation

• Examine key concepts including: positions, interests, principles, BATNA

• Practice negotiation skills

• Examine the role of culture in negotiations

Everyone Negotiates

• Buying a car, house or other object for which the price may not be fixed

• Establishing a salary, workplace tasks, office conditions, etc.

• Organizing team tasks or priorities

• Allocating household tasks

• Deciding how to spend a free evening

Conventional Negotiations

• Focus on winning

• Assert positions/personal preferences

• Concede stubbornly

• Seek compromises based on arbitrary divisions (e.g. split the difference)

• Engage in threats, bluffs or other negotiation tactics

Conventional Negotiation Tactics

• Good cop/bad cop

• Highball/lowball

• Bluff

• Threats

• Nibble

• Appeals to ‘reason’

Exercise 1 ( To be participated in a group of three)

Roles. Zerin, a 15 year old girl – Participant 1Father – Participant 2, Mother – Participant 3

Background: Zerin (19 years) lived in Chittagong. Zerin is calling home from her mobile to tell her parents that she is hitch-hiking to Dallywood to be a movie star. She has taken only 2,000 takas with her. She sounds convincing that she is doing the right thing but you as her parents feel differently. Please act out your roles and try to Negotiate from your position. Please let the audience know what position you would like to take. The entire conversation is for a maximum of 5 minutes. Focus on a “win-win” approach before Zerin disconnects.

Which way is the window facing?

An Alternative: Interest-Based Negotiations*

• Separate the people from the problem• Focus on interests, not positions• Invent options for mutual gain• Insist on objective criteria

*Roger Fisher & William Ury. 1991. Getting to Yes. 2nd ed. New York: Penguin.

Principle 1: Separate the People from the Problem

• Disentangle the people from the problem

• Deal with the people problem: acknowledge perceptions, emotions

• Listen actively

• Speak to be understood

• Speak about yourself, not them

Principle 2: Focus on Interests, Not Positions

• Positions: What disputants say they want in a negotiation: a particular price, job, work schedule, change in someone else’s behavior, revised contract provision, etc.

• Interests: Underlying desires or concerns that motivate people in particular situations (May sometimes be the same as their positions!)

Focusing on Interests

• Problem: barking dog

• My interpretation: my neighbor doesn’t care about my needs

• My position: quiet the dog

• My interest: I need sleep

• Issue: how to control the barking

Focusing on Interests

• Problem: reefs are dying• My interpretation: inadequately controlled

construction in near-shore areas results in runoff that smothers reefs.

• My position: stop or severely limit land disturbance

• Interest: reducing the rate of coral loss• Issue: What’s the real source of reef

degradation? How can runoff be reduced/ controlled?

Types of Interests

• Substantive: How people describe the issue: barking dogs, cars blocking driveway, dying reefs

• Relational: How people they should be treated or acknowledged.

• Procedural: How people think issues should be addressed (e.g. courts, ho`oponopono)

Principle 3: Invent Options for Mutual Gain

• Focus on the variety of ways issues/ interests (yours/theirs) might be addressed?

• Avoid assuming there’s a single solution• Separate brainstorming from evaluation of

options• Don’t assume zero-sum conditions• Think creatively

Principle 4: Insist on Objective Criteria

• Fair standards: market value, precedent, blue book value, professional standards, “best practice,” industry average, equal treatment, etc.

• Fair procedures: e.g. last best offers, taking turns, drawing lots

When is the Interest-Based Approach Appropriate?

• Other party is willing to problem-solve• There is sufficient trust and information—or a

willingness to develop them• On-going relationships are important• Commitment to carry out the agreement is

needed• Quality agreement is more important than an

expedient one

When is the Interest-Based Approach Unnecessary?

• On-going relationships are not important• Negotiation is viewed as strictly distributive (e.g.

buying a car)• Lack of commitment to problem-solving on the

part of one or more parties• One or more parties see the negotiation as

involving fundamental rights (but some contention about this)

Prepping for Your Negotiation

• What are our interests? What are theirs? How can we find out?

• What’s our BATNA? What’s theirs?

• What’s our WATNA? Theirs?

• What do we know about their circumstances that might affect the negotiations?

• What’s their negotiation style? Etc.

A BATNA

Negotiating Steps

• Develop ground rules

• Jointly identify issues

• Explore interests

• Develop objective standards

• Brainstorm options

• Evaluate options using standards

• Try to reach consensus decision

Adapting General Principles to Specific Negotiations

• Pacing: fast or slow?• Formality: high or low?• Oral or written agreements: which are

more binding and inclusive?• Bluntness of communication: direct or

indirect?• Time-frame: short or long term?• Who negotiates: Equals or most

competent?

Sources of Negotiation Problems

• Perceptual errors

• Unrealistic expectations about likely outcomes

• Unwillingness or inability to engage in real negotiations

• Perceived non-negotiability of some disputes

Special issues in Negotiation

• Confidentiality

• Neutrality

• Authority

• Integrity

• Credibility

Also applicable in conflict handling

Conflict Handling

The conflict within

“We accuse others, we excuse ourselves”

-Unknown

Workplace conflict

• “A condition between or among workers whose jobs are interdependent, who feel angry, who perceive the other (s) as being at fault, and who act in ways that cause a business problem”

Daniel Dana

Signs of conflict

• Anger• Disgruntled staff• Low productivity• High turnover• Absenteeism• Frequent ‘sick days’• Dysfunctional meetings• Bullying

The cost of conflict

• Reputation• Safety• Loyalty• Production• Recruitment• Replacement• Litigation• TimeMoney

• Wasted time• Bad decisions• Lost employees• Restructuring• Sabotage, theft,• Damage• Lowered motivation• Lost work time• Health costs

Culture & conflict

• Dominating organization: One in which power contests are the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.

• Litigating organization: One in which right contests are the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.

• Mediating organization: One in which interest reconciliation is the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.

- Daniel Dana

Conflict is productive…

• When:• Used to create and innovate• The organization develops dispute resolving systems and procedures• We see it as value neutral rather than

negative• We use the opportunity for growth• We share new information

Conflict is productive…

When:• There are new solutions which include

everyone’s perspective• We separate the people from the problem• We discover our “hot button” triggers and

find effective ways to cool down our reactions

• We learn problem solving skills• Attention is focused on the hidden costs

“Conflict involves struggles between two or more people over values, or competition for status, power and scarce resources.”

- Moore 1986

Conflict handling and its Management

Conflict Handling and its Management

• Conflict is inevitable.

• It need not be viewed as only a negative process.

• Has both productive and destructive potential.

• Conflict if mismanaged, however, can threaten relationships, systems and institutions.

Conflict handling and its Management

• Basic approaches to managing conflict:

• 1. Ignoring the conflict

• 2. Avoiding the conflict producing situation

• 3. Coercion and/or violence

• 4. Negotiation

• 5. Mediation

• 6. Adjudication or arbitration

Conflict handling and its Management

• Historically, all societies have resolved

conflict by using:

• Negotiation

• Mediation

• Adjudication

• Globally, these are the three primary dispute resolving processes .

Conflict Inventory

• Who has experienced a conflict (problem, issue, scrape, misunderstanding, etc) in the last month?

• How did you respond? What was your “conflict strategy?”

Conflict Resolution Options

• Avoidance• Capitulation• Suppression• Accommodation• Problem solving (e.g. conciliation,

negotiation, mediation, facilitation)• Escalation• Confrontation

Problem Solving Options

• Conciliation: neutral 3rd party assists disputants by acting as go-between

• Arbitration: neutral 3rd party acts as judge• Negotiation: parties confer to arrive at mutually

satisfactory solution• Mediation: neutral 3rd party assists parties in

their own negotiations• Facilitation: neutral 3rd party assists in group

discussions

Toward Conflict Management

Blake and Mouton’s Conflict Grid

Source: Reproduced by permission from Robert R. Blake and Jane Syngley Mouton. “The Fifth Achievement.” Journal of Applied Behavioral Science 6(4), 1970..

Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips

Walker and Harris (1995) offer the following practical tips for implementing the 9,9 style. Encouraging behavior occurs when a team member:

1. Avoids feelings or perceptions that imply the other person is wrong or needs to change.

2. Communicates a desire to work together to explore a problem or seek a solution.

3. Exhibits behavior that is spontaneous and destruction-free.

Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips

4. Identifies with another team member’s problems, shares feelings, and accepts the team member’s reaction.

5. Treats other team members with respect and trust.

6. Investigates issues rather than taking sides on them.

– The same principles can be applied to negotiating with others outside your team, or with a supplier or customer.

Toward Conflict Management

• Blake and Mouton (1970) proposed a grid that shows various conflict approaches.– The 1,1 style is the hands-off approach, also

called avoidance.– The 1,9 position, also called accommodation,

is excessively person-oriented.

Toward Conflict Management

– The 5,5 position represents a willingness to compromise.

– The 9,1 is the bullheaded approach, also called competing.

– The optimum style for reducing conflict is the 9,9 approach, also called collaboration.

Game Theory

• Game theory puts people into the mixed-motive situation.– Covey (1990) in The Seven Habits of Highly

Successful People refers to the scarcity mentality versus the abundance mentality.

• The scarcity mentality leads us to resent the success of others.

• The abundance mentality allows us to think of situations in which everybody can win.

Toward Conflict Management

• Fisher, Ury, and Patton (1991) outline four principles that compose principled negotiation.– Separate the people from the problem.– Focus on interests, not positions.– Invent options for mutual gain.– Seek objective criteria.

Toward Conflict Management

• The Continuum of Decision-Making Behavior has been described as including four styles of decision making:

• Tells• Sells• Consults• Joins

Toward Conflict Management

• A Continuum of Decision-Making Behavior

Source: From Stewart L. Tubbs. Empowerment (Ann Arbor, Mich.: U-Train, Inc., 1993), pp 5-9. Adapted from R. Tannenbaum and H.W. Schmidt. “How to Choose a Leadership Pattern,” Harvard

Business Review March-April, 1958.

Managing people

• Leaders

• Managers

• Careers

• Global Human Resource Systems (the process by which people are managed)

Leadership Theories

• Traits– Those that don’t change readily, e.g., height, gender– Those that change with difficulty, values– Those that can be developed

• Leadership Styles– Orientation to people– Task orientation

• Contingency—leader’s style needs to adapt to the context

• “New” leadership such as transformational or connective leaders

Steven Rhinesmith (2000)

• 1. Managing competitiveness by looking at the "big picture"

• 2. Managing complexity• 3. Managing alignment• 4. Managing change• 5. Managing teams• 6. Managing learning by being open and

learning globally

Black, Morrison, and Gregersen (1999)

• 1. Inquisitiveness• 2. An ability to embrace duality• 3. Character to develop trust and goodwill

among people from different cultural backgrounds

• 4. “Savvy" that allows a leader to see what needs to be done and marshall resources for accomplishment

Rosen, Digh, Singer and Phillips (2000)

• 1. Personal literacy including understanding self and one's own limitations and abilities

• 2. Social literacy to assemble strong teams and unleash collective strength

• 3. Business literacy including understanding the organization and its environment

• 4. Cultural literacy includes knowing about and leveraging culture differences

McCall and Hollenbeck (2002)

• 1. Open-minded and flexible in thinking and tactics pursued

• 2. Cultural interest and sensitivity• 3. Ability to deal with complexity• 4. Resilience, resourcefulness, optimism, and

energy• 5. Honesty and integrity• 6. A stable personal life• 7. Technical or business skills

Global Leadership Attributes and Theories

• A global mindset—a way of thinking that looks beyond self and immediate circumstances—trait; new leader

• Know the business and its environment—know the environment, savvy, big picture thinking, alignment—contingency

• Create and convey a clear vision with integrity—clear sense of purpose; convey to others;character; honesty; integrity—trait, leadership style

• Develop self-awareness and understanding—personal literacy; self-knowledge; reflection—trait; new leader

• Manage diversity—diverse groups and structures; people from many backgrounds—leadership style, trait

• Continuously learn—inquisitiveness; being open to others and to new information; leader and learner—new leader

William Van Dusen Wishard (1995) 1. There is a need to discern what is permanent and immutable 2. We must learn to make interconnections between people, events, and different categories of life because interdependence is an emerging condition of life3. We must learn to know ourselves4. We each need some understanding of how change and technology are affecting people and institutions5. We need to be open to dimensions of existence that are difficult to understand, value or control; within ourselves we need to value intuition6. There is a need to interact with people in a manner that will bridge racial and cultural differences7. There is a need to have a personal sense of creating something new for the future

The four agreements:Don Miguel Ruiz's Code for Life

Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements was published in 1997.

The Four Agreements is a life-changing book, whose ideas come from the ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico.

The Toltec were 'people of knowledge' - scientists and artists who created a society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors.

The simple ideas of The Four Agreements provide an inspirational code for life; a personal development model, and a template for personal development, behavior, communications and relationships. Here is how Don Miguel Ruiz summarizes 'The Four Agreements‘….

Agreement 1

Be impeccable with your words

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

Agreement 4

Always do your best

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”