parenting the faith for children. parents as spiritual leaders parents are the most important...

Parenting the Faith forChildren

Parents as SpiritualLeaders

Parents are the most important spiritual teachers that children will ever have.

~ Parents teach in their action.

~ Parents teach with words.

~ Parents teach through their association with other adults.

We, as leaders, need to help parents in this role.

# hours child in church learning experience: (2)X 52

104 hours

# hours in public school learning: 25 class hours a week + (3) homework hours 38 x 40 weeks 1,120 hours a year

Is the child or youth shortchanged?

Is God shortchanged?

Public education

~ develop relationships

~ learn to communicate

~ learn to read

~ learn to handle finances

~ job enabling education

Religious training

~ understand others

~ self understanding

~ value system

~ understand purpose

~ positive life direction

~ relationship with God

~ Bible learning

~ Biblical history/heritage

~ religious celebrations

~ creeds of church

~ apply religion to life

The church can’t do this in

one or two hours a week.

Parents NEED to take leadership!

Parents need two tools to start with:

Understanding how faith/spirituality develops

Springboards for sharing their faith.

Emunah – Hebrew word for faith,

A total trust and confidence in God.

Faith = relationship with God.

Belief = what I believe at this point.

It is likely to change.

Using the Styles of Faith is an easy way to help parents see the importance of their role.

Draw an image or write in the inner circle:

A figure or a word that tells about a time that you felt physically or emotionally warm.

Discuss it briefly with those in your group..

Experienced Faith

~ awe and worship of God

~ experience grace and caring love of God through others

How can teachers bring this about?

How can parents bring this about?

How can we help parents bring this about?

In next circle:

Draw a figure or write a word that tells about a person who has influenced you in your faith.

Name that person in your group.

Affiliated Faith

~ experiences with others as family of God

~ relationships with other generations

~ relationships with other cultures

How can teachers bring this about?

How can parents bring this about?

How can we help parents bring this about?

In the third circle:

Draw a figure or write a word that tells about a belief that you had earlier and has changed since childhood, or perhaps more recently.

Discuss it briefly with those in your group.

Searching Faith

~ searching for one’s own answers

~ open to seeing all sides of a question

~ primarily with older youth and young adults

How can teachers bring this about?

How can parents bring this about?

How can we help parents bring this about?

As parents of young children

You are advocates of your beliefs:

--share the stories of the Bible.

--share beliefs you have in simple words.

--not reticule those with different beliefs.

--share joy of seeing God in everyday life.

It’s important for older children and youth

to have an advocate of the faith:

--someone who will not only share his or her beliefs, but also say, “Some people believe one way and some another – now you think about how YOU believe.”

--someone who will LISTEN to questions and encourage them to answer themselves.

--someone who doesn’t force his/her beliefs.

In outer circle:

Write the name of a person that you believe has a very close relationship with God. It may or may not be someone you know personally.

Owned Faith

~ living the faith

~ owning it and acknowledging our beliefs

BUT not insisting others must believe as you do

What happens to a tree when you take the center rings out?

So we must always use all styles of faith once we’ve moved through them.

Just as an oak is an oak, whether a

seedling

OR

a hundred-year-old tree,

so we all have a faith

and need affirmation

in that faith,

no matter what styles

we function from.

Spontaneous Opportunitiesto Share Faith

CREATING HOLY SPACES

IN THE HOME

The Child/The Concept

Chart on pages 26-27: 32 Ways to Become a Great Sunday School Teacher by Delia Halverson.

Understanding God

• Younger Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Associate God with beautiful things.• Enjoy creating with God.• Associate God with love and care which parents and

other adults give.• Use term “God” frequently. (The only father the young

child knows is his or her “Daddy”.)• Encourage a growing desire to talk to God in brief, direct,

and simple prayers, as if God were here beside us.

• Older Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Stress that God loves us and gives us good things. Because God loves us, God wants to be loved by us in return and wants us to share.

• Teach concept of how God cares for us through others (doctors, farmers, etc.)

• Stress that we can show our love for God by the things we do.

• Build on younger preschool concepts.

• Grades 1-3: Point out God’s plan of cycles. God is dependable. Day follows night; spring always comes.

• God planned night for rest and day for work.• Explain that because God is good and we are God’s

children, God expects us to be good. We are good because we love God, NOT because we fear punishment.

• Explain that God forgives us; we forgive others.• Help child learn to right wrongs.• Stress that God helps us get through problems.• Say that we help carry out God’s purposes by working

with God’s laws: If we don’t get enough sleep, we will get sick; if we are kind to people, they are happy and life is happy for us.

• Grades 4-6, youth: We help God’s balance in nature.

• Assure child that God’s laws will not change.• God’s justice is part of God’s love.• Stress that God depends on responsible people.• God all-wise, all-good; parent of ALL peoples.• If we fail, God is sorry but still loves us.• God forgives when we are truly sorry.• God helps through wisdom of older people and

the lives of many people.• God helps through the Bible.• We learn more about God’s world each day.

Knowing Jesus• Younger Preschool: Remember, preschoolers

are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.• Talk about Jesus, the man who loved children.• Jesus told people what God is like.• Christmas: Remember when Jesus was a baby;

begin with the man Jesus and remember.• Easter: Stress new life, and loving and

appreciating Jesus.• Use separate identities of Jesus and God. They

cannot understand the Trinity.

• Older Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Tell stories of Jesus, who helped and loved others.

• Stress that we learn from Jesus.• Whenever we do things Jesus would do and act

as he did, we act as his friends.• Emphasize that Easter is a time for

remembering Jesus.• Encourage growth in love for Jesus.• Retain separate identities of Jesus and God.

• Grades 1-3: Jesus was sent to show us the love of God. Encourage desire to be like Jesus.

• Encourage beginning of an understanding of Jesus as ever-living and helping today.

• Talk about segments of the life of Jesus: teacher, friend, concerned with others’ health.

• Talk of customs of Bible times. Begin discussing the Hebrew heritage.

• Easter: Mid/upper end of age group, tell briefly that some people didn’t like Jesus’ teachings and they put him to death, but his friends felt he as still near. Tell the story of resurrection; however the next age group deals better with physical or spiritual aspects of resurrection.

• Retain separate identities of Jesus and God, but move toward the Grades 4-6 concept.

• Grades 4-6, youth: Conscious effort to use Jesus’ teachings every day.

• Tell about Jesus’ life chronologically.• Jesus’ life made spiritual difference/better world.• Show Jesus as a hero.• Jesus showed us God. Some believe he was

God, some that he was a man who let God work through him. Talk of your own belief, but let child develop his/her belief. Recognize that child need not decide immediately.

• Older child/youth: through Jesus, God experienced human life and better helps us.

Developing Prayer

• Younger Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Associate prayer with good things.• Pray prayers of thanksgiving and praise.• Pray with child as if you are talking to God.• Use simple language: you and your, not thee, thou, and

thine (Shakespearian language)• No particular body position is necessary.• Child need not always close eyes.• Giving thanks for food after eating may make more

sense to this age child.

• Older Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Provide some opportunities for prayer.• Pray spontaneous prayers. “Talk” to God.• Prayer two to five short sentences of everyday speech.

Pray what child understands.• Religion is personal; not a time to show what a child can

do. Be cautious of asking child to pray before guests.• Evening prayers: Talk of happy times of the day,

kindnesses, how God helped – then pray. • Begin requests for help: “Help me remember to cross the

street carefully…to take turns…to help others.”• Pray for someone else, example: Help the doctor to help

Johnny.

• Grades 1-3: Continue praise and thanksgiving.

• Encourage child to compose his/her own prayers.

• Create litany prayers together.• Give opportunities for sentence prayer

after discussion of what we are thankful for – don’t force child to pray.

• Acknowledge need for forgiveness.• Encourage prayers asking for help,

making them more specific than before.

•  Grades 4-6, youth: Encourage personal and private worship. Provide devotional material.

• Help child appreciate prayers in worship. • Study prayers in hymnal for special

occasions.• Continue prayer as close relationship with

God.• Encourage growth so that this relationship

with God is there when child is more independent.

Learning of the Church

• Younger Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Stress happy experiences at church – with other children – with church workers – with other classes. Model regular attendance.

• Begin association of God and Jesus with church.• Review the prayers prayed and stories heard at

church.• Visit sanctuary during non-service time. • Worship with family from time to time.

• Older Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Encourage growing enjoyment of child’s part in church. Help child feel this is his/her church.

• Find ways for child to help in the church.• Help child be responsible for things:

arranging chairs, clean up room/yard, sharing money gifts for things we need at church.

• Continue association of God and Jesus with church.

• Grades 1-3: Encourage involvement of the church in community (Example: shut-ins).

• Encourage giving gifts of service for the church: to missionaries, toys for nursery, etc.

• Share with church workers.• Point out that God’s house is like our home – we

keep it clean.• Appreciate the sanctuary and experiences there.• Encourage interest in ongoing program of the

church. (continued)

• Visit the office, see records; see furnace room, electric meter, cleaning equipment; view order forms for literature. (Say that we give money to help with these things.)

• Talk with minister about his/her use of car, books that are needed, and the fact that he or she has a family. Point out that if the minister is to give his/her days to the church, we must pay to help provide for the minister’s family.

• Grades 4-6, youth: Develop understanding of worship service, sacraments, and creeds.

• Appreciate all sections of the hymnal.• Appreciation of church symbols used to remind

people of Bible stories and truths even when they couldn’t read the Bible.

• Talk of heritage of early church to present.• Knowledge of world wide church.• We have different churches because there are

different beliefs. We all believe in God. Introduce the term “ecumenical.”

Knowing the Bible• Younger Preschool: Remember,

preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Use simple verses at spontaneous times.• Hold the Bible and tell simple Bible stories:

children visiting Jesus; Jesus teaching about God; Jesus enjoying nature; Jesus having breakfast with friends; Jesus’ boyhood; Mary and Joseph caring for Jesus.

• Older Preschool: Remember, preschoolers are concrete instead of abstract thinkers.

• Add stories of Jesus’ friends.• Tell Old Testament stories that exemplify positive

behavior: Miriam’s care for her baby brother; Samuel’s new coat (his saying “thank you”); Ruth gathering grain and sharing with Naomi; preparing a rooftop room to welcome a visitor (Elijah).

• Associate everyday stories and events with what we learn from the Bible.

• Use longer, understandable verses. Read verses from a translation the child can understand.

• Begin Bible/God association.

• Grades 1-3: Make Bible reading a pleasant experience. Be sure passages are simple.

• Provide opportunities to learn the background from which the Bible comes.

• Encourage using the Bible in solving our everyday problems.

• Relate our life to situations in Bible stories: Now we have no roofs to sit on and watch stars – we sit on deck or in backyard. We still can enjoy sleeping in tents as in Bible times.

• Jesus helped the lonely – we help new children in school. (continued)

•

• Tell about the two parts of the Bible: Old Testament that Jesus’ father read to his family and that Jesus enjoyed; New Testament which tells about Jesus and his friends.

• Tell about the Psalms, the hymnbook of the Bible.

• Grades 4-6, youth: Provide historical approach to Bible.

• Look at the Bible’s table of contents; groups the books; use maps.

• Help child learn to live by the principles of the Bible.

• Help child evaluate own behavior by looking at Jesus’ life.

• Begin to use Old Testament stories showing wrong behavior. (continued)

• Point out that the Old Testament relates growth of Jewish understanding of God and that New Testament adds to this knowledge.

• Tell stories about the early church. Show that the New Testament records how Jesus’ friends told others about him.

• Use various translations of the Bible, explaining why we have different translations.

• Introduction to study helps, such as Bible dictionaries and concordances

• Youth, introduction to study Bibles and commentaries, alerting them to the fact that different people have different ideas of the interpretation of scripture and they must make their own decisions and not just accept the beliefs of someone else. Some older elementary children are ready for this.

– from 32 Ways to Become a Great Sunday School Teacher by Delia Halverson,

pp. 26-27

– for more suggestions and ideas of ways to share faith with children see: How Do Our Children Grow by Delia Halverson.

Building Memories in Families

• Recall some biblical celebrations.

• Which ones became traditions, or at least memories?

Why do we celebrate?

What are advantages of traditions?

~ Create memories.

~ Bring certain things to mind.

~ Give stability to our lives.

~ Give us ownership.

What are some traditions or celebrations, ways to create memories, or special times when families can grow spiritually?

Life Events – or – Rights of Passage