sarah watson and matthew palmer 22nov2010

MANAGING ‘MUSCLE’ AND USING INFLUENCING SKILLSAPG, November 22nd

Sarah Watson (DDB) & Matthew Palmer (Leagas Delaney)

WHAT WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS EVENING

— Using influencing skills to bring senior people with you – clients, creatives and agency management

— A bit of theory

— Ten ‘top tips’

— One of the hardest subjects to generalise about – please ask questions

A BIT OF THEORY:WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO AND HOW ARE YOU TALKING?

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS: OLD, BUT STILL USEFUL

— A neo-Freudian theory of personality developed in the late 1950’s

— Explains how people function and express their personality in their behaviour

— Can be extended to the analysis of communications within systems and organisations

— Has been used in therapy, education, counselling, consultancy and management and communications training

THERE ARE THREE BASIC EGO-STATES THAT PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY USE

P

A

C

ARENT

DULT

HILD

THERE ARE THREE BASIC EGO-STATES THAT PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY USE

PARENT— A state in which people behave, feel, and think in

response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions

— Eg. A person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked

Can either be a ‘nurturing’ or ‘criticising’ parent.

Bad managers or clients often fall into the latter category...

THERE ARE THREE BASIC EGO-STATES THAT PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY USE

CHILD— A state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to

how they did in childhood

— EG. a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child

— EG. On receiving a good evaluation they may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks

— The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy

Can either be a ‘free’ or ‘adapted’ child.

Often the highest paid person in the building...

THERE ARE THREE BASIC EGO-STATES THAT PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY USE

ADULT— A state of the ego which is most like a computer

processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that could affect its operation

— Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA

— While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality

The classic ‘planner type’?

RECIPROCAL OR COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Is your room tidy yet?’

‘Will you stop hassling me? I’ll do it eventually!’

RECIPROCAL OR COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Have you been able to write the report?’

‘Yes – I’m about to email it to you’

RECIPROCAL OR COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Would you like to skip this meeting and go to the pub with me instead?’

‘I’d love to – I don’t want to work any more.

Where shall we go?’

CROSSED TRANSACTIONS –‘FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE’

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Will you stop hassling me? I’ll do it eventually!’

‘Have you been able to write the report?’

CROSSED TRANSACTIONS –‘FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE’

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Will you stop hassling me? I’ll do it eventually!’

‘If you don’t change your attitude you’ll get fired.’

CROSSED TRANSACTIONS –A MORE POSITIVE INTERACTION

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Is your room tidy yet?’

‘I’m just going to do it, actually’

IF SOMEONE’S STUCK IN ‘CHILD’...

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Can’t believe the @#$% client won’t buy into doing a 90”TV ad. They drive me insane.’

‘I know. It was a great script, wasn’t it?

Would have been amazing...’

IF SOMEONE’S STUCK IN ‘CHILD’...

P

A

C

P

A

C

Person A Person B

‘Can’t believe the @#$% client won’t buy into doing a 90”TV ad. They drive me insane.’

‘I know. It was a great script, wasn’t it?

Would have been amazing...’

‘...But I guess with their budget they never

would have been able to do it justice. So

perhaps we should look at something a bit more

achievable?’

TEN TOP TIPS

“Dear, never forget one little point.It’s my business.You just work here.”

Elizabeth Arden to her husband

NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE CREATED EQUAL…

1. BEING RIGHT ON ITS OWN IS NOT ENOUGH

2. KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE

3. KNOW THY SELF (AND THY STUFF)

4. UNDERSTAND THEM

5. CONNECT WITH THEM

6. USE THEIR TIME WISELY

7. THINK ‘ALLY’ NOT ‘ADVERSARY’

8. DON’T ARGUE

9. BE PERSISTENT

10. IF IT’S REALLY NOT WORKING, SPEAK TO SOMEONE

ANY QUESTIONS?1. Being right on its own is not enough

2. Know how important you are

3. Know thyself (and thy stuff)

4. Understand them

5. Connect with them

6. Use their time wisely

7. Think ‘ally’ not ‘adversary’

8. Don’t argue

9. Be persistent

10. If it’s really not working, speak to someone

MANAGING ‘MUSCLE’ AND USING INFLUENCING SKILLSAPG, November 22nd

Sarah Watson (DDB) & Matthew Palmer (Leagas Delaney)