skills that make negotiations work
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8/14/2019 Skills That Make Negotiations Work
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SKILLS THAT MAKENEGOTIATIONS WORK
8/14/2019 Skills That Make Negotiations Work
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Key communication skills
• Talking ( so that people will listen & understand
you)
• Listening ( so that people will give you all the
information you require)
• Asking the right questions
• Observe nonverbal signs
• Be aware of meta-talk
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Talk so people will listen
• Gain your listeners’ attention
• Make your points clearly
• Before you speak, organize your thoughts
( make sure points are sequential)
• Ready to react to unexpected information from
other party ( jot down key points, can help to
formulate response)
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Talk so people will listen
• Gain listeners’ attention before you talk
• Don’t speak over background noise
• Retain attention ( clear voice, loud enoughfor everyone to hear)
• Eye contact with listeners ( seem to be
speaking directly to them)• Be succinct
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Talk so people will listen
• Stick to the point (avoid unrelated
anecdotes)
• Stop talking, when you have said enough
• Use language that make listeners feel
positive about you & about the negotiation
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Use these phrases
• I understand how strongly you feel
• We have resolved some issues & we’re on
our way to settlement
• I like what you said a moment ago
• We have many objectives in common
• I’ll work very hard to get agreement on theremaining issues
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Avoid these phrases
• You’re not trying to understand me
• Don’t interrupt me again
• My position is absolutely firm, I’ll never change it.
• I only have ten minutes left, make up your
mind
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Listen so people will talk
• Hear vs listen
• Active listening – crucial for good
negotiation climate
• If you show signs that you are not
concentrating on what other person is
telling – create mistrust/resentment
• Listen attentively – encourage speaker to
air any grievances ( can de dealt openly)
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Tips to listen effectively
• Take time to listen. Do not try to rush the
speaker
• Give feedback, but not necessary in words.
Often smile or nod to indicate nonverbally thatyou are paying attention
• Ask for clarification if the message is not clear
• As soon as your mind get wander, refocus your attention on what the speaker is saying
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Asking the right question
• When deciding to ask question, thinkabout what you hope to achieve &consider the effect on the negotiation
climate.• During negotiation, if the other party
shows signs of anxiety in reaction to whatyou ask, immediately remedy the problem( withdraw your query, rephrase in a waythat is less threatening)
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Asking the right question
• Formal negotiation – prepare your mainquestions in advance (avoid the risk of forgetting to ask important information)
• Allows you to listen attentively instead of thinking what question to ask.
• But, beware of rely heavily on the preparedquestions, b’coz it can limit your flexibility
( react spontaneously to new scenarios)
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Five functions of questions
• To gain attention
• To seek information
• To give negative message• To start people thinking
• To conclude the negotiation
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To gain attention
• How’s your family?
• Have you played golf recently?
• To make the opening relevant, preparationfor the negotiation should include research
of the parties’ background
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To seek information
• How much does it cost?
• When will it be delivered?
• Designed to obtain information to movethe discussion
• Does not produce anxiety, unless he/she
is suspicious of our motives in asking thequestion.
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To give a negative message
• Are you having problem at home?
• Make the listener anxious/ annoyed
• Suspect the question is a means of expressing questioner’s negative opinion
of him/her
• Should not use this question ( damage theclimate)
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To start people thinking
• Are there any alternatives?
• When skillfully used, can move a
negotiation to a successful close.
• Can also stimulate creative thinking
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To conclude a negotiation
• Are we all agreed?
• Need a good sense of timing or can cause
resentment if posed before the other
person feels that the discussion is
finished.
• Keep the door open for future negotiations
where a successful conclusion is not
about to happen at the moment.
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Reading nonverbal signs
• Skilled negotiators keeps his/her eyes & ears on
other people mannerism, facial expressions &
gestures
• Awareness & ability to control nonverbal signs wetransmit is important
• When watching out non verbal signs, a single
isolated gesture may have no significant. E.g.: arms
folded across chest
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Reading nonverbal signs
• When we read nonverbal signs of others, we areoften less aware of our own
• Often take few seconds to ask yourself :
• What am I feeling right now? • Am I expressing these feelings through
nonverbal signs?
• Am I happy for the other party to pick up on
these emotions, or should I be trying to control the nonverbal signs I am giving out becausethey are negative?
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Understanding meta-talk
• When taking part in discussion, try asking
yourself “ What does the speaker really
mean by that?”
• 5 categories of meta-talk : softeners ,
foreboders, continuers, convincers,
strokers.
• Softners : attempts to put listener in a
positive frame of mind.
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Understanding meta-talk
• Foreboders : Set the stage for bad news
• Continuers : Attempt to get the listener to
disclose his/her thoughts
• Convincers : try to persuade you of the
logic of what the speaker secretly knows is
illogical argument
• Strokers : A response to an appeal for
reassurance
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Persuasion
• Some methods of persuasion : logical
argument, appeal to a strongly felt emotion,
reliance on power/ coercion, seeking a
compromise, offering a trade-off • Logical argument : can only be used when
you know you have watertight case.
• Appeal to a strongly felt emotion : Exploit astrong emotion ( pride, fear)
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Persuasion
• Reliance on power / coercion : Reminding theother party your power over them & use coerciontechniques.
• Seeking a compromise : Seek a compromise onthe main issue under discussion, you can createa climate of cooperation, increasing your chances of persuading listeners to give in tosome of your demands on other issues.
• Offering a trade-off : People naturally feel anobligation to reciprocate favours they havereceived.
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Decision time
• You need to decide whether you or the other party should make the final offer.
• No rules who should make the final offer, but
usually the party who instituted the negotiationmake the closing move.
• For clues whether the agreement phase isapproaching, watch out for other party’s verbal &
non-verbal signs.• If you decide to make the final offer, stop & taketime to reflect on what that offer should be.
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Decision time
• Before you make your move, ask yourself
whether your offer will meet all your needs and
other party.
• Are you confident your company able to fulfill theterms
• Intuition plays important role.
• Once agreement has been reached, go over theterms verbally to make sure both parties are
clear & agree to what has been decided.
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