spring 2015: writing in discourse communities session 6 (week 2) prof. eija ventola © eija ventola

© Eija Ventola

Spring 2015: Writing in Discourse Communities

Session 6 (Week 2)Prof. Eija Ventola

Session 6: Agenda1. Feedback on Reaction Papers (Word doc)2. Review: Rhetorical Patterns3. From Rhetorical Patterns to Clauses and

Sentences, and their Parts, to Paragraphs4. GROUP WORK5. The Notion of Theme and Rheme6. Topic Sentence7. MacroTheme vs. MacroRheme8. Discussion: The Next Assignment

© Eija Ventola

1. Feedback on Reaction Papers

• Word document

Session 6:From Rhetorical Patterns to

Clauses , and Sentences, and their parts, to Paragraphs

2. Review: Why Rhetorical Patterns?

Patterns are important for the writer to consider, because they allow the reader/listener to accurately interpret what the issue/notion/argument/problem the writer is trying to address

© EV, CC, LC of USydney 6

Introduction: Moves in Introduction CARS = Creating a research space (Swales 1990)

MOVE 1 – ESTABLISHING TERRITORY• Step 1: Claiming Centrality

and/or• Step 2: Making topic

generalization(s)and/or

• Step 3: Reviewing items of previous literature

MOVE 2 - ESTABLISHING A NICHE• Step 1 a: Counter-claiming

or• Step 1 b: Indicating a gap

or• Step 1 c: Question-raising

or• Step 1 d: Continuing a tradition

MOVE 3 - OCCUPYING A NICHE• Step 1 a (obligatory): Outlining purposes

or• Step 1 b (obligatory): Announcing present research• Step 2: Announcing principal findings• Step 3: Indicating RA (Research article) Structure

How to organize your writing??Local Rhetorical Patterns

E.g.

DescriptionDefinitionExemplificationClassificationComparisonContrastCause & EffectGeneralizationQualificationInterpretation of Data

Claims & SupportFor and AgainstProblem and SolutionGoal and ResponseOpportunity and ResponseGap in KnowledgeEvoking Craving/Desire

> And working how language used to pattern these?

Other culturally popular patterns (Hoey 2001)

Goal-Achievement patterns– Qs?

• What was / is the situation?• What goal did / does x / you want to achieve?• What method/means did /does / do x / y / you use

to achieve it?• How successful was / is this in the opinion of x / y /

you?Or What was /is the result for x / y / you?-associated with narratives, advertisement, (popular) scientific writing-may interlock with Problem-Solution pattern-important for academic writers

Opportunity-Taking patterns– Qs?

• What was / is the situation?• What opportunity did / does / arouse/arise for

x, you within this situation?• What did /does / x / y / you do about it?• What was /is the result for x / y / you?-associated with narratives, advertisements, newspaper offers, (popular) scientific writing-may interlock with Problem-Solution and/ or Goal-Achievement

patterns

Desire – Fullfillment patterns– Qs?

• What was / is the situation?• Who or what within this situation was / is

/particularly attractive /appealing / important?• What effect this did /does /this have on x / y /

you?• What was /is the result?-associated with stories, erotic narratives (Mills & Boon – a kiss

another kiss …), advertisements (e.g. product descriptions) -often occurs with Opportunity - Taking

The Gap-in Knowledge-Filling patterns– Qs?

• What was / is the situation?• What gap in our knowledge arouse/arises for x / you

within that situation?• What did /does / x / y / you do to fill the gap? What is

the plan for ‘gap-filling’?• What was /is the result for x / y / you?

-associated with academic papers, detective stories- Recycling – if gap not filled-may interlock with Problem-Solution and/ or Goal-Achievement patterns-important for academic writers

SPRE

• Situation• Problem• Solution• Evaluation

“if a reader does not share a … (pattern) with the writer, s/he will not find it easy to read the text… conformity to the pattern when writing is likely to make organising the text easier and will …make the text easier to read. … often highly intelligent students found it hard to organise their thoughts when they settled down to write and at the very least would lose valuable time trying to find a way into their subject.”

Hoey 2001: 167

“The various SPRE patterns serve as ready-made templates and … can benefit a learner writer to have a pattern to stick to… All students need to be able to recognise pattern triggers and key [language] signals … use of the pattern can encourage better prediction skills in reading… the various patterns may help learners shape their texts .. Some writing suffers from under-signalling or mis-signalling.”

Hoey 2001: 167-8

“A good writer does not use signals heavily but does give clear indication of the different stages of the pattern to[the] readers. Signalling vocabulary is valuable vocabulary and deserves to be given some priority in language teaching. Mis-signalling occurs when the signalling item triggers expectations that are not met.” (Hoey 2001: 168)

-> So … how do you use the patterns and signal the global generic patterns and the local rhetoric patterns?

3. Clauses and Sentences, and their parts, Paragraphs

”Language reflects our view of the world as consisting of ’going-ons’ (verbs) involving things (nouns) which may have attributes (adjectives) and which go on against background details of place, time, manner, etc. (adverbials).”

Thompson2004:86-87What are verbs? What do they do?What are nouns?What are adjectives?What are adverbs?

Clause and Sentence ??

They slowly unlocked the door.They slowly unlocked the door and then stepped in.They slowly unlocked the door, because it was the only way to escape.

• What is a clause?• Active vs. Passive clause?• What is a sentence?

Why is it important to understand the difference?

What are the Parts of a clause /sentence?

What are they?• Subject- • Verbs-• Adverbs-• Adjuncts –• Circumstances-• (object/complement)

They slowly unlocked the door.(Active voice)

They slowly unlocked the front door.

(pro)noun adverb – how verb-past tense determiner +noun

The door was slowly unlocked by them.(Passive voice)

The door was slowly unlocked by them

noun auxiliary verb adverb – how lexical verb - past

Prepositional phrase(by + pronoun)

They slowly unlocked the door.(Active voice)

They slowly unlocked the front door.

Function:Participant (Doer)

SubjectTheme

Class: pronoun

Function:Circumstance

Class: adverb – (how)

Function: Process connecting the participants – here action

Class: lexical verb

Function:GoalObject

Class: noun

The door was slowly unlocked by them.(Passive voice)

The door was slowly unlocked by them

Function:Participant

(Goal)SubjectTheme

Class: pronoun Class:auxiliary verb

Function: Process connecting the participants – here action

Class:verb

Function:

Class: Prepositional phrase(by + pronoun)

Grammar explanations:

• Most clauses can occur in 2 voices:• Active – most common, unmarked• Passive – reduces the importance of the agent

of an action; give sense of objective detachment; agent often left out; may be easy to guess or to deduct; or left out on purpose

• Cf. The police beat the demonstrators severely.• The demonstrators were beaten severely.

But also textual explanations

• We come back to this when talking about theme patterning …

A bit of detailed grammar - Labeling Parts

Labeling Parts:The big horse is jumping the fence.

Now Practice Labeling:

What about this one….

Answers

BREAK

GROUP WORK & Discussion

Read your partners introductions- note useful moves, patterns

-suggest some- What about local grammar? Suggest …

Themeand Rheme

1. The Notion of Theme and Rheme2. Topic Sentence3. MacroTheme vs. MacroRheme

Beginning questions…

• How do you begin your sentences in English?• How do you begin your paragraphs?• Do you plan when you write?• Do you plan when you speak?

It is important to undertand , as a writer, to construct clauses in your text in a way which makes them fit smoothly into the unfolding language event.

(adapted from Thompson 2004:141)

What is meant by the unfolding language event?

Investigate the following 2 texts from the last session, how does the language unfold?

Why is it important to think about the starting point of a clause/Sentence?

”When choosing the starting point for a clause – the constituent that appears in first position – co-operative speakers select something which will make it easier for their hearers to ’hook’ this clause on to the earlier clauses, to see immediately how the information that will come in the remainder of the clause is likely to fit in with what has already been said.”

Thompson 2006:142

Theme

‘The Theme is what is being talked (written) about, the point of departure for the clause as a message: and the speaker (writer) has within certain limits the option of selecting any element in the clause as thematic.’

Halliday 1967c: 212

Theme is part of the TEXTUAL metafunction of language

Clause: • THEME (starting point of the message – usually GIVEN

information) • RHEME (what is said about the Theme – usually NEW

informationTexts:• Thematic & rhematic patternings• Macrothematic & macrorhematic patternings

Clause complexes and other larger units, e.g. paragraphs, even chapters

Different Starting Points

• 'I am writing handouts for my students', • For my students, I am writing handouts', • 'Handouts I am writing for my students‘

• The subject in i)• the circumstantial adjunct in ii)• the complement in iii)

But what is the Subject in these clauses?

• 'I am writing handouts for my students', • For my students, I am writing handouts', • 'Handouts I am writing for my students‘

• The subject in i)• the circumstantial adjunct in ii)• the complement in iii)

Unmarked/Marked ‘I’Table 15.1

Theme Rheme

I (Subject)

am writing handoutsfor my students

For my students, (Circumstantial Adjunct)

I am writing handouts

Handouts (Complement)

I am writing for my students

Table 15.1

Unmarked/Marked Themes

• UNMARKED: topical/experiential THEME = usually the subject of the clause – Subject=THEME

We offer you a much better price

• MARKED: topical/experiential THEME = S not the first topical theme – but something has been foregrounded before it for reasons of text patterning

Contrary to Nokia, we offer you a much better price.

Simple and Multiple Themes

Simple THEME: This perfume is on the top of the sales.

MULTIPLE THEME: • Before topical Themes we often have the interpersonal

and textual Themes• But, quite surprisingly, this perfume is on the top of

the sales.• Textual + Interpersonal + Experiential

-handout

What is the theme here??

Well, but then Ann, surely wouldn’t the best idea be to join the group?

Well, but then Ann, surely wouldn’t the best idea to join the group?

Table 15.3

well but then Ann surely wouldn't the best idea

be to join the group?

continuative structural conjunctive Vocative- noun modal finite topical

Rheme

textual interpersonal experiential -noun

Theme

Unmarked/Marked ??:1. Yellow canaries have been used to ’test’ the

air in mining for centures.2. In mining, yellow canaries have been used to

’test’ the air for centuries.3. The air has been ’tested’ in mining for

centuries by using yellow canaries.4. To ’test’ the air in mining, yellow canaries have

been used for centuries.5. Miners have used yellow canaries to ’test’ the

air for centures.

Work (in 5 groups) Each group take one sentence - write two additional sentences to add to the first original sentence:1. Yellow canaries have been used to ’test’ the air in

mining for centures.2. In mining, yellow canaries have been used to

’test’ the air for centuries.3. The air has been ’tested’ in mining for centuries

by using yellow canaries.4. To ’test’ the air in mining, yellow canaries have

been used for centuries.5. Miners have used yellow canaries to ’test’ the air

for centures.

1. Yellow canaries have been used to ’test’ the air in mining for centures. Their sense of smell…

2. In mining, yellow canaries have been used to ’test’ the air for centuries. The presence of YC,…, has been used to be proven. The insufficient…

3. The air has been ’tested’ in mining for centuries by using yellow canaries. This air has been..Thefore, it toxic…

4. To ’test’ the air in mining, yellow canaries have been used for centuries.This method was…Additionally, white dove can also be …..

5. Miners have used yellow canaries to ’test’ the air for centures. However, the miner finds…Thanks to advance tech, modern test. Has been

Example of effective thematic patterning

Themes and what do they tell you about this text

• http://www.honesttea.com/mission/about/overview/ Honest tea 19.1.2011: ASPIRATIONS FOR CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY (CSR)

• We will never claim to be a perfect company, • but we will address difficult issues • and (we) strive to be honest about our ability or inability to

resolve them. • We will strive to work with our suppliers to promote higher

standards. • We value diversity in the workplace • and (we) intend to become a visible presence in the

communities where our products are sold. • When presented with a purchasing decision between two

financially comparable alternatives, we will attempt to choose the option that better addresses the needs of economically disadvantaged communities.

Article: The Boss is unwell, Can Jobless Apple flourish?

The Economist January 22nd 2011, magazine, p.74

Version A & Version B

• On January 18th Apple unveiled record quarterly results, with revenues rising to a whopping $27 billion and profits to $6 billion – up by 71% and 78% since the same quarter in its previous fiscal year. The bad news surfaced the day before. Steve Jobs, the firm’s iconic boss, is to quit the daily grind, at least for a while, to focus on his health.

• Apple has been here before. In 2004 Mr Jobs took time out after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. In 2009 he took six months off and had a liver transplant. On both occasions, Mr Jobs recovered and Apple didn’t crumble. The firm is now America’s second largest (after Exxon Mobil) by market capitalization.

• Apple should continue to prosper this time, too. Its products are wildly popular. IDC, a research firm, predicts that the market for tablets, which Apple dominates, will more than quadruple in the next two years. The company has new versions of the iPad and iPhone in the works, which will give it plenty to talk about later this year. And Tim Cook, who will run the firm in Mr. Jobs absence, has done it before, with distinction.

• Nonetheless, Apple faces pressure to reveal more about its succession plan and about Mr Job’s health. Candour about the succession would be unwise: those who are not picked might quit. Health is a trickier call. Even bosses deserve some privacy. But Charles Elson, a corporate governance expert at the University of Delaware, argues that Mr Jobs’s role at Apple is so crucial that it lends weight to claims that more information should be made public about his health.

• Some possible thematic textual organization patterns in text:

• • Linear: Theme1 – Rheme 1• Theme2 (= Rheme 1) – Rheme 2• • Constant: Theme1 – Rheme 1• Theme 2 (= Theme 1) Etc.• Hypertheme: Body – body parts

MACROTHEME – MACRORHEME• This section introduces three metafunctional aspects of language.• #The first function is textual, i.e. how texts hang together. Texts are …..• #The second is ideational (or experiential) function that shows who the

Participants, Processes and Circumstances are in the texts and captures how we represent the world around us in language. These roles are important because ….

• #The third function is the interpersonal function that shows how we interact with language. We give and demand information and we ….

MACROTHEME – MACRORHEME

• This section introduces three metafunctional aspects of language.

• Theme• Rheme

• #The first function• #The second• #The third function

• Stephen Elop, President & CEO, Nokia Corporation Nokia Annual General Meeting, May 3, 2011Thank you for joining me today for the Annual General Meeting. I understand we have a record number of attendees this year. That is wonderful, so thank you for joining us.Because today is my first opportunity to meet with you in this setting, I thought it would be helpful to share a bit of my background. On a personal front, I am a father of five children. I have a son who is now in university in Canada studying engineering like his father and his grandfather. I have a daughter who we adopted from China. And then one day, we welcomed just a little bit of disruption into our home. Well, actually three little disruptions who completely redefined our family dynamics.My wife Nancy and I have triplet daughters – three - who are months away from becoming teenagers. So when I am not at Nokia, I am busy at sports events and musical recitals for my children, all of whom have chosen different sports and different musical instruments.I also am a Canadian, so I am delighting in the opportunity to be back in the snow and to be close to real hockey. Culturally, it turns out that Canada and Finland share similarities beyond ice and hockey arenas. When I considered the opportunity at Nokia, I studied some research that showed our cultures are very similar. Perhaps it is because we both reside close to the Arctic Circle, perhaps it is a historic dependence on land and natural resources or perhaps because we all grew up in the shadow of very powerful neighbors. Regardless of the reason, I have come to enjoy many of the traditions of the Finnish culture, and I am thankful for the openness and hospitality that all of you have shown to me .Professionally, I am an engineer. I have had the opportunity to work in Canadian and American companies. I have also faced a few disruptions in my professional career. While at Macromedia, for example, I faced the end of the dot.com era, a dramatic moment where we had to reinvent ourselves and rebuild an even stronger company when so many others fell on hard times. This in turn led us to a successful merger with Adobe, creating yet another disruption in the software industry. While at Microsoft, we faced a new era of software called cloud computing that challenged the way we built, delivered and sold some very profitable software, again facing a disruption. This new cloud computing strategy introduced us to a new set of customers and entirely new revenue streams. The common theme in all of these stories, both personal and professional, is about disruption. It is a natural part of the industry in which we operate. After leading the Microsoft Office team through the early changes associated with cloud computing, my career also had an unexpected disruption, and that disruption was in the form a phone call from Jorma. And it is that phone call that began the journey that brings me to this stage today.

WORK: Thematic analysis of your introductions

• Analytical sheet: eg. Like below …

Textual theme Interpersonal theme

Marked topical theme

Unmarked topical theme(subject)

Rheme – the rest – the NEW

But quite surprisingly

today this perfume was the most favoured.

Another interesting thing was that with vegetables

the effect is different.

Final Assignment: A2 - Introduction

ventola.writing@gmail.com

• For Wednesday May 6 by midday - submit the Final rewriting for Assignment 2 (Introduction to an academic genre)File Attachment: your name/Final, Assignment 2 (Introduction), Spring 2015

• Preparation for the final week – next slides …

Next Assignment: Preparation for A 3• WEEK 20: choose a paper that was not so successfully written …• 1) Bring a paper copy of a text that you have written for another course + the evaluation &

possible comments) + the teacher’s instructions for writing it (+ course name +the teacher’s name)

• 2) On a separate page (Assignment 3, draft 1), do an analysis of your text and the instructions (following questions may help):

a) What is the genre of the text (reaction paper, case study, etc.)? On what basis?b) How do the instructions guide you to fullfil the genre of the assignment?c) What kind of successful /less successful global and local rhetorical patterns do you find – what are

there successful / less successful language features?d) Analyse the evalution of the text (marking and comments you received from the teacher) –remarks

on to the genre, rhetorical patternings, language features??e) Mark a particular section/sections of the paper that needs improvement (eg. By highlighting with

yellow)

Send to ventola.writing@gmail.com) by 11th of May1) A digital form of your paper, its evaluation & comments + instructions + course name + the teacher’s name (if only in paper form, you can scan the documents)2) Assignment 3, draft 1: your analysis and your comments from a) to e)

A3 will be a rewriting of the ’problematic areas’

Next sessions (Week 3):May 11, 13, 15

Thank you.