strategies for success chapter 10. human relationships friendship – who wants more friends?

Strategies for Success

Chapter 10

Human Relationships

• FRIENDSHIP–Who wants more friends?

• What qualities do you look for in –A friend? –Husband/wife? –Business partner?

Different levels of relationships

Best Friend

Great friends

Good friends

Acquaintances

Strangers

F = FIRST TO BE FRIENDLY

The fastest way to make friends

is to be one.

F = FIRST TO BE FRIENDLY

• Advantages to Being Friendly First:–↑ friends–↑ sales–↑ job productivity–↑ promotions–↑ more money–↑ more effective teacher–↑ better grades

R=Respect“A great man shows his greatness

by the way he treats little men”–~Thomas Carlyle

R = RESPECT

•Treat everyone you meet as if they are

important.

How do you know you’re in love?When they know the worst thing

about you and they love you anyway.

R = RESPECT“It is the mark of a superior person to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.”

~ Ann Landers

R = RESPECT• Respect VALUES

“Men respect standards - get some!”

– ~ Steve Harvey– Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What men really

think about love, relationships, intimacy and commitment

R=RESPECT

• Six degrees of separation

R=RESPECT

• There are 3 sides to every story–Yours–Theirs–The truth

R = RESPECT• The Golden Rule!

R = RESPECT• “For I say to every man, not to think of

himself more highly than he ought to think”– Paul of Tarsus

R = RESPECT

•Have no friends not equal to yourself.

• ~ Confucius

I = Interested in Others• Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and

Influence People

•Act interested in people and you can sell them anything.

I = Interested in Others

• What is the most common word used in the world?

–I

I = Interested in Others

• When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.

I = Interested in Others• Be genuinely interested in

people. If you try you can like everybody and

everybody will like you…

I = Interested in Others

• Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money it will eventually get

you into trouble if you try to pass it.

I = Interested in Others• Listen• Commit yourself to learn how to listen

Ten Commandments of Listening1. Empty your mind. 2. Understand the context. 3. Don't get distracted. 4. Use follow trails5. Use body language. 6. Ask questions. 7. Take notes. 8. Confirm your understanding. 9. Let the person finish before you speak. 10. Don't judge too quickly.

I = Interested in Others• Keep skid chains on your tongue. Always say

less than you think. Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. How you say it counts

more than what you say.~ Ann Landers

I = Interested in Others• Be there!

E = Effort5 love languages

E = Effort• Friendship is a verb. It takes effort.• Make your friends Number One, preferring them

above yourself.– The Fine Art of Friendship– ~ Ted Engstrom

E = Effort

It takes character and self-control to be understanding

and forgiving.

N = NAME• The sweetest music to

anyone’s ears is the sound of his or her own name.

N = NAME• Let your virtues – if you have any

speak for themselves – Good Earth– Pearl Buck

N = NAME

• Your name is save in my house!

•People who gossip to you -

will gossip about you.

N = NAME• “I will speak ill of no man,

and speak all the good I know of everybody.”

• ~Benjamin Franklin

N = NAME

•Nodoby’s•Prefect

D = Deliver Praise• To help people reach their full

potential, catch them doing something right!

• Catch more flies with honey than vinegar

D = Deliver Praise If you want to gather

honey, don’t kick over the beehive.

D = Deliver Praise• John Gottman Ratio–5 Praise : 1 Criticism– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw9SE315GtA

D = Deliver Praise• “Any fool can criticize, condemn and

complain – and most fools do. But it takes characters and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”

• ~ Benjamin Franklin

D = Deliver Praise• Be generous with legitimate

praise and encouragement”

D = Deliver Praise• People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always

remember how you made them feel.

S = Smile• It takes 112 muscles to frown

and 13 to smile!

S = SMILE• If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.

H = Honest• Make promises sparingly and keep

them faithfully, no matter what the cost.• ~ Ann Landers

I = Invite

P = Positive• Your attitude determines your altitude!

•The fastest way to make a friend

is to be one.