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CONTENTS

ForewordbyRobReinerIntroduction

MEETINGROB

PRE-PRODUCTIONANDMEETINGBUTTERCUP

THETABLEREADANDMEETING

FEZZIK

“ENGARDE!”

WRESTLINGR.O.U.S.INTHEFIRESWAMP

STORMINGTHECASTLEAND

BEINGMOSTLYDEAD

ROB’STRAVELINGCIRCUS

TRUEWUV

VIZZINIANDMIRACLEMAX

ACOUPLEOFMISHAPS

THEGREATESTSWORDFIGHTINMODERNTIMES

ALLGOODTHINGS...

AFAIRY-TALEENDING

EpiloguebyNormanLearPhotographs

AcknowledgmentsAboutCaryElwesandJoe

LaydenIndex

Formylittleprincess,Dominique

FOREWORD

William Goldman once saidabout the movie business,“Nobody knows anything.”ThePrincessBrideisExhibitAindefenseofthattruism.

As I was starting mycareer as a filmmaker, I

thought, naively, Why notmake a film based on ThePrincess Bride? That shouldbe easy. It’s a brilliant storywritten by one of America’sgreatest writers. Whywouldn’t everyone just jumpatthisidea?LittledidIknowthat for fifteen years it hadbeen the story that no studiowould touch. Fortunately,Norman Lear, my All in theFamily boss, and the man

whom I would come to callmysecondfather,hadfaithinthiswonderful fracturedfairytale.

Making The PrincessBridewasoneof thegreatestexperiencesofmylife.Livingin England for six months,workingwitholdfriends,andpeople who would becomeold friends, creating a filmbasedonmyfavoritebookof

all time. Nothing could bemoresatisfying.

Whenyoustartafilm,youhave an idea of what youwant it to become, but younever know if anyone elsewill share your interest. BillGoldmanoncereferredtothebook he wanted on histombstone as an oddballstory.When it came time forthe movie’s release, no onehadanyideaofhowtosellit.

Was it a fairy tale?Was it aswashbuckling adventure?Wasitalovestory?Orwasitjustanuttysatire?Thefactisit was, and is, all of theabove.Noteasytocaptureina two-minute preview trailerorathirty-secondTVad.

We opened to somecritical success, but onlymoderate business. LuckilythroughVHS,DVD, andTVitmanaged to take hold, and

over the past twenty-fiveyears its popularity hasgrown. I can’t tell you thepleasure I get from peoplewho first saw it when theywere kids, telling me howmuchtheirkidsloveit.Whata thrill to know that a filmyou’ve had a hand in isgettingpasseddowntofuturegenerations.

Reading Cary’s book hasbrought back wonderful

memories. He has sobeautifully recounted whatwas forme,and I’msure forall of us, one of the trulygreat creative experiences ofourlives.Hetakesus,asonlyhe can, through the Man inBlack’seyeviewoftheworldof the R.O.U.S., MiracleMax, and the Cliffs ofInsanity.Andhedoes itwithstyleandgrace.Socurlupin

a comfy spot and have funstormingthecastle.

—RobReiner

INTRODUCTIONNEWYORK,OCTOBER2,2012

Standing onstage at AliceTullyHall atLincolnCenter,surrounded by cast membersand some of the crew,manyof whom I’ve not seen inyears, I feel an almostoverwhelming sense of

gratitude and nostalgia. Wehave gathered here at theNew York Film Festival tocelebrate the twenty-fifthanniversary of The PrincessBride, a movie whosepopularityandresonancenowspangenerations.

Thatfactalonebogglesthemind—how such a quirkyandmodestly conceived filmcould achieve such a loftyposition in the pantheon of

popular culture. What reallystrikesme, though, as I lookdown the rowat the faces ofmy fellow actors, is howquickly the time has passed.Hasitreallybeentwenty-fiveyears? A quarter century?The passing of time is mostcriticallynotedby thosewhoare missing, the great PeterFalkandthatgentlemountainof a man, André the Giant.Buttocounterthatsadnessis

thecamaraderieofbeingbackwith those who are heretonight and who stoodalongside me so many yearsago: Rob Reiner, BillyCrystal,CarolKane,WallaceShawn, Chris Sarandon, andMandy Patinkin, not tomention Robin Wright,looking as lovely as she didthedayIfirstlaideyesonherso many years ago. Thenagain, she has always set a

rather ridiculously highstandard for beauty, and thatseems not to have changed.The only ones who couldn’tmake it were ChristopherGuest and Fred Savage,whounfortunately were busyworkingonotherprojects.

This is a night of redcarpets and remembrance, ofinterviews and a screeningfilledwithlaughterandjoy.Itisalsoonlythethirdtimethat

I have seen the film in itsentirety with an audiencesince its initial screening in1987 at the Toronto FilmFestival.Thatpreviousevent,while successful, did notexactly produce the sort ofresponseonewouldexpectofa film destined to become aclassic.

Is it fair to call ThePrincessBrideaclassic?Thestorybook story about pirates

and princesses, giants andwizards, Cliffs of InsanityandRodentsofUnusualSize?It’scertainlyoneof themostoften quoted films in cinemahistory,withlineslike:

“Hello.MynameisInigoMontoya.Youkilledmyfather.Preparetodie.”“Inconceivable!”

“Anybodywantapeanut?”“Havefunstormingthecastle.”“NevergetinvolvedinalandwarinAsia.”“Lifeispain,Highness.Anyonewhosaysdifferentlyissellingsomething.”

“Restwell,anddreamoflargewomen.”“Ihateforpeopletodieembarrassed.”“Pleaseconsidermeasanalternativetosuicide.”“Thisistruelove.Youthinkthishappenseveryday?”

“Getusedtodisappointment.”“I’mnotawitch.I’myourwife.”“Mawidge.Thatbwessedawangement!”“Youseemadecentfellow.Ihatetokillyou”...“Youseemadecentfellow.Ihatetodie.”

“Deathcannotstoptruelove.Allitcandoisdelayitforawhile.”“NevergoinagainstaSicilianwhendeathisontheline!”“There’sashortageofperfectbreastsinthisworld.Itwouldbeapitytodamageyours.”

Andofcourse...

“Asyouwish.”

Classic: a smallword thatcarries enormous weight,although sometimes it’stossed around a bit toocasually; a reputation earnedover the course of time, andgivenonlytothoserarefilmsthat stand up to repeatedviewings. That being said,

The Princess Bride has agedremarkably well. I think thisis in part because of thequality of the writing, thedirecting, and the wonderfulensemble of actors I had thesheer pleasure of workingwith.

Even though it is the fanswho have truly kept thememory of the movie alive,each of us in the cast hasremembrances ofmaking the

film, things that have stayedwithusovertheyears.Allofus have stories aboutencounters or moments, likebeing approached and askedto recite a favorite PrincessBrideline.Mandyswearsthatbarely a day goes by that heisn’t asked by someone,somewhere, to recite InigoMontoya’s most famouswords, in which he vows

vengeance on behalf of hisfather.

“And I never let themdown,”hesays.

I readsomewhererecentlythat a passenger on a planewas asked to leave the flightas his Montoya T-shirtbearing that infamous linefrightened one of thepassengers who had neverseen the movie. After it wasexplainedtothem,apparently

the T-shirted passenger wasallowed to stay on theaircraft.

Mandy,himself,hasalongand impressive résumé. Theman has won a Tony, anEmmy, and countless otherhonors.But,likemostofusatLincoln Center tonight, heknows that someday hisobituary will feature, moreprominently than anything

else, his affiliation with ThePrincessBride.

And that’s just fine withhim,asitiswithallofus.

Theremightbea shortageof perfect breasts in theworld, but there is noshortage of actors whoachieve a degree ofrecognitionorfameduetothepopularity(or,insomecases,the ignominy, which is anentirely different story) of a

specificmovie and their rolewithin that movie. It canbecomeablessingoracurse;sometimes a little of both,depending on thecircumstances. Over the pastthree decades I’ve appearedin nearly a hundred moviesand television shows. I’vebeen a leading man and asupporting actor and workedin almost every genre. Butwhatever else I’ve done or

whateverelseImightdo,ThePrincessBridewillalwaysbethe work with which I ammost closely associated; andWestley, with his wisp of amustache and ponytail, thecharacterwithwhomIwillbeforeverlinked.

Not Glory, which earnedhigher critical praise uponrelease and won moreawards;notDaysofThunderor Twister, both of which

were summer blockbusters.Not even Saw, which wasshot in eighteen days on abudget smaller than mostmovies spend on catering,and earned more than $100million;andthat’sjustfinebyme.

When I started ThePrincess Bride I was veryyoung and fairly new to theworldoffilm.Iwascastinamoviethatfranklycouldhave

been interpreted aspreposterous, were it not forthe fact that it was so wellwritten, sowelldirected, andpopulated with such aridiculously talented cast. AsIlookaroundthestageatRobReiner, the director, andWilliamGoldman,thewriter,who so deftly and lovinglyadapted the screenplay fromhisequallyimaginativenovel,I think how incredibly

fortunate I was to have beenpart of this project. To havebeen plucked from relativeobscurityanddroppedontoaset with these two insanelytalented men and thisextraordinarycast.

I’dbe lyingifI toldyouIhadeventheslightest inklingthat our movie, made on amodest budget over a periodofless thanfourmonths,andshot in and around London

and the magnificent PeakDistrict of Derbyshire, wasdestined to becomea classic.But I think it withstands therigors of time because itseems to be a timeless story—ataleofloveandromance.Of heroes and villains. And,although it isa filmfromthe1980s,thereisnothingonthescreen that betrays its birthdate(notwithstandingperhapstheRodentsofUnusualSize).

Instead of a bouncytechno-pop sound track, youhave the elegant slide guitarofMarkKnopfler; instead ofbig hair and shoulder pads,youhavetheperiodstyleofaswashbuckler and a princess.Perhaps the only thing thatservesasatimestampisFredSavage’s video game at thevery start of the movie(which,by theway, iswherethefilmgetsitsfirstlaugh).It

is,ofcourse,amoviewithinamovie.Astorywithinastory,much like the book itself.Even in the scenes betweenPeterFalkandFredSavage,agrandfather reading to hisbedridden sick grandson,there is a timeless grace andelegance to the filmmaking.And then there is thedialogue:

“They’rekissingagain.Dowe have to read the kissing

parts?”What preteen boy hasn’t

said that or thought that? Orat least something like that?It’s the kind of dialogue thatholds up. It endures. In fact,like a good wine withoutiocane powder, it seems togetbetterwithtime.

The movie, believe it ornot, opened to mostlypositive, if occasionallybefuddled, critical response.

Even those who praised themovie weren’t quite surewhat to think. Was it acomedy? A romance? Anadventure story? A fantasy?Thefactis,itwasallofthosethings and more. ButHollywoodabhorsthatwhichis not easily categorized, andso the film didn’t quite gainthe kind of traction it mighthave deserved, grossing arespectable, though hardly

overwhelming, $30.8 millionin its first run ($60 millionwhen adjusted for inflation).This meant it made almosttwice the budget, but stillonly a tenth of what thatyear’s top-grossing movie,Fatal Attraction, made onlytheweekbefore.

Within a few months offinishing the movie, we allmoved on with our lives,puttingThePrincessBride in

our respective rearviewmirrors. There were otherprojects,other films, familiesto raise, careers to nurture.And then—though I can’tpinpoint the time when itactually occurred—a strangething began to happen: ThePrincess Bride came back tolife. Much of this can beattributed to timing—inparticular to the newlydevelopingvideomarket.The

Princess Bride came to beenormously popular in theVHS format. And it was viathis relatively new mediumthat the film began to gaintraction, and not simply as arental. After careful scrutinybythosewhodothesethings,itbecameclearthatfanswerenot only recommending it tofriends and family members,they also began purchasing acopy for their own home

libraries. It became that rarekind of movie that wasviewed and enjoyed, andultimately beloved by entirefamilies. Copies of it werebeing passed down fromgeneration to generation inmuch the same manner thatchildren were introduced tothe magic of The Wizard ofOz by nostalgic parents whowanted to share one of theirfavoritemovies.So, too,was

The Princess Bride uniquelyfamily entertainment. Parentswith their children, and eventheir grandchildren, couldwatchthemovietogether,andeachenjoyitforwhatitwas.There was nothingcondescending orembarrassing about it.Nothing offensive. It seemedto be as smart and funny onthetenthviewingasitwasonthefirst.

TodayThe Princess Brideis acknowledged andrecognizedasoneofthemorepopular and successful filmsin Hollywood history. It isranked among the 100GreatestFilmLoveStoriesbythe American Film Institute,is on Bravo’s list of the 100Funniest Movies, andGoldman’sscriptisrankedbytheWritersGuildofAmerica

as one of the top 100screenplayseverproduced.

All of these things, and awholelotmore,wererunningthroughmyheadthatnightatLincoln Center. At somepoint during the evening,weall were asked what themovie meant to us. Therewasn’t time for me toadequately put into wordsexactly how I felt, so that’swhat I’m trying to do now

with this book. The filmreallygavemeacareerinthearts and the life that I havetoday, a life I feel privilegedto enjoy. That’s not anoverstatement. Other movieshave surely helped, but thiswas the one that put me onthe map and allowed me tostaythere.

I still get fan mail todayfrom children all over theworld, sending me drawings

and sketches of piratesdueling, or of princesseskissing them. I even have tobe careful not to walk downthe wrong aisle at Toys “R”Us, lest I find myselfsuddenlyundersiegebylittletykeswithplasticswordsandshields.

Everyone associated withthe film has heard stories bynow of Princess Brideweddings, where the bride

and groom are dressed asButtercup and Westley andthe pastor even recites PeterCook’s dialogue from themovie. Or the late-nightdress-up interactivescreenings, not unlike theones they do for The RockyHorror Picture Show, wherethingslikepeanutsarethrownat the screen after Fezzik’snow famous line. ThePrincess Bride nights at the

AlamoDrafthousecinemas,anational restaurant/moviehouse, have become sopopular that they nowproduce their own licensedPrincessBridewine.

Ican’tspeakforeveryone,but I consider it a blessing.Clearly The Princess Bridehas become a trulyremarkablephenomenon.Thefilm has literally millions ofdevotees. They know every

line, every character, everyscene. And, if they’d like toknow a little bit more abouthow their favorite film wasmade, as seen through theeyesofayoungactorwhogotmuchmorethanhebargainedfor, then all I can say is . . .Asyouwish.

MEETINGROBBERLIN,JUNE29,1986

The note simply read:IMPORTANT.

Itwasamessagefrommyagent, Harriet Robinson, that

had been slipped under mydoorbyabellhopattheHotelKempinski, where I wasstaying.

I immediately picked upthe phone and dialed hernumber. This would be thecall thatactuallychangedmylife. After I reached Harrieton the line she began to tellme that she had arranged animportant meeting for me.That the director of This Is

Spinal Tap, Rob Reiner, andhis producing partner, AndyScheinman,wereplanningoncomingtoBerlintoseeme.

“Really?”“Yes.”“Whatfor?”She said they were

hamstrung by a tightpreproduction schedule andwerestilllookingforanactorto play the pivotal role of

Westley in a film version ofThePrincessBride.

“Not The Princess BridebyWilliamGoldman?”

“Ithinkso,yes,”cametheresponse.

I couldn’t believe it. ThiswasabookIhadreadwhenIwas just thirteen.And here Iwasbeingconsideredforoneof the leads by the directorandtheproducer.Fortunately,

for me, they did not changetheirplans.

AlittlebackstoryonwhereI was at that time. I was aneophyte, just twenty-three,with only a handful of filmsto my credit. But I alreadyknew what I wanted out oflife.IknewIwantedtobeanactor.IwasbornandraisedinLondon and briefly attendedthe London Academy ofMusic & Dramatic Art, one

of the world’s mostprestigious training groundsfor serious stage actors. Ienjoyed studying but myultimate goal back then wassimplytobeaworkingactor,preferably in film. Besides, Ihad already done plenty ofstudying when I moved toNew York to attend theActors Studio and the LeeStrasberg Theatre & FilmInstitute. After leaving

LAMDA, I picked up anagent, Harriet, and startedgoingoutonauditions.

I’d already been aproduction assistant on ahandful of movies, includingthe James Bond featureOctopussy, where I had theunique experience of beingasked to driveBond himself,Roger Moore, to work acouple of times. I was anervouswreck,Icantellyou.

All that kept going throughmymindwas,WhatifIkilledBondonthewaytoworkinatraffic accident? How’d thatbe? It would certainly put ahalt tomy burgeoning careerin the film industry. I couldalready see the headlines:“Lowly Production AssistantKills Bond!” During one ofourearly-morningdrives,Mr.Moore actually looked upfromhisnewspaperandsaid,

in that very calm andcollectedmannerofhis,“Youcan speed up a little if youwantto.”

By themid-1980s, Ihadarésuméthatwasshortbutnotunimpressive.Myfirstmovie,releasedin1984,wasAnotherCountry, a historical dramabasedonapopularWestEndplay by JulianMitchell,withRupert Everett and ColinFirth. I had costarred with

Helena Bonham Carter inLady Jane, director TrevorNunn’s period drama aboutLadyJaneGrey,thenine-dayqueenofEnglandwhosebriefreign followed the death ofKingEdwardVI.ApparentlythiswasthefilmthatRobhadbeenable tosee,and theonethat convinced him to take achanceonme.

After I wrapped LadyJane, Trevor Nunn offered

meanopportunitytospendayear in residency with theRoyalShakespeareCompany,ofwhichhewasthedirector.I was flattered almost to thepoint of distraction—mostyoung actors would kill forsuch an opportunity. But bythis time I was living inLondon, and I knew thatspending a year with theRSC,asprestigiousasitwas,would be the equivalent of

doing graduate work intheater: the compensationwouldn’tevencovermyrent.Nevertheless, I seriouslyconsidered the offer, as itcamefromatalenteddirectorwhom I admired and stilladmire a great deal. Mightthingshavebeendifferentforme had I said yes? Whoknows? I have very fewregrets about the life I’vebeen fortunate to lead. But

thismuch seems certain: if Ihad taken up residency withthe RSC, I would not havebeenfreetoaccepttheroleofWestley. In fact, I might nothave even been considered.You could say I was ratherlucky, for as it turned out, Ihappened to be in the rightplaceattherighttime.

By the time Rob Reinerhad started looking forsomeone to play his leading

man, I had a body of workthat was thin but perhapsworth investigating. Throughfate or skilled representationor a combination of these Icame under consideration forthe role of the farmhandturned pirate, Westley—acharacter created in arenownednovelthathadlongbeen considered incapable ofbeing adapted for the screen.

And one that I had alreadyreadandenjoyedasakid.

Howdid that come tobe?Well, it turns out mystepfather had worked in theliterary department of theWilliam Morris Agency inLos Angeles and, afterleaving tomakemovies, hadproducedWilliamGoldman’sveryfirstscreenplay,adaptedfrom the novel The MovingTarget, by Ross Macdonald.

Thefilmversionwasreleasedin 1966under that same titlein Britain but was renamedHarper for release in theUnited States, where itbecame a modest hit andhelped further establish thestardom of its young lead,PaulNewman.And itwasn’tbadforGoldman,either,whowonanEdgarAwardforbestscreenplay and subsequently

became one of the hottestwritersinHollywood.

Being a huge fan ofGoldman’s, my stepfathernaturally kept a copy of ThePrincess Bride in his libraryandonedaygave it tome toread.Needlesstosay,Ilovedit. I remember reading theauthor’s own description ofthe “good bits” from S.Morgenstern’s fictitiousnovel:

Fencing. Fighting.Torture. Poison. True love.Hate. Revenge. Giants.Hunters. Bad men. Goodmen.Beautifulladies.Snakes.Spiders. Pain. Death. Bravemen. Cowardly men.Strongest men. Chases.Escapes. Lies. Truths.Passion.Miracles.

Now if that didn’t soundexciting to a thirteen-year-old,nothingwould.

When the call came fromHarriet, I was in Berlinshooting a little indie filmcalledMaschenka,basedonasemiautobiographical novelby Vladimir Nabokov, themanwho gave us one of themost controversial examplesof twentieth-centuryliterature, Lolita. The filmwas a British-Finnish-German coproduction and

was being shot in bothGermanyandFinland.

Thiswastheearlysummerof 1986, only a few monthsafter the Chernobyl nucleardisaster, which had causedquite a fear at the time.Harriet actually told me thatRob and Andy had seriouslythought about canceling theirtrip because of “the wholenuclear thing.” Myrecollection is that it wasn’t

of much concern to those ofus working on our smallEuropean coproduction. Irecall a crew meeting beingcalled on a set in a placecalled Katajanokka, inHelsinki, only aweek beforeandbeing told that therewasnothing to fear because thewinds were in our favor andthat the fallout was likely tobeblowninanotherdirection.We were warned, however,

that as a precaution weprobably shouldn’t drink thelocalmilk.Atleastnotuntilithad been declared safe. Likeagoodmanyoftheothersonthe crew, I went back towork, scratching my head,wonderingifweshouldn’tbetaking the whole thing moreseriously.Wewere, after all,only eight hundred milesawayfromtheaccident.AllIcan say is that insurance

policies for the film industryback then were not assophisticatedastheyarenow,so shutting down productionwasn’treallyanoption.

Anyway, not exactlywhatyou want to hear, but theshowdid indeedgoon.And,as far as I know, no one gotsick from the experience,thank God. The last fewweeksoftheshoottookplacein Berlin at Studio

Babelsberg, which is how Icame to be staying at theKempinski.

I pressed for moreinformationfromHarriet.Shesaid all she knew was thatRobandAndyweretryingtomeet as many British actorswho might be right for thepart, and that they wereobviously interested inme. Isubsequently found out thatRob had gotten a call from

the casting director, JaneJenkins, suggesting that hewatch Lady Jane, and if helikedit,flyouttomeetme.Itseemed reasonable to thinkthat I was in good shape ifthey were traveling such alongway—and not only thatbut to a region thatmight becontaminated withradioactivematerial. Iwasn’taccustomed to this level ofinterest, and (even though it

happens quite often now) nodirector had ever come tovisitmeonlocationbefore.

“DoIhave to readfor thepart?” I asked, dreading theanswer.

“It’s possible, sincethey’recomingall thatway,”Harrietreplied.

As an actor you lose farmore roles than you gain atreadings. You learn prettyearly on thatmost things are

beyondyourcontrol,andthatit is better to “let go and letGod” and to “get used todisappointment,”asGoldmansoeloquentlyhadtheManinBlacksayinthemovie.Ikepttrying to tell myself therewould always be anotherfilm, another job on thehorizon—thatitdidn’tmatter.But deep down I knew Iwasn’t kidding anyone, leastof all myself. This was far

frombeing“justanotherjob.”This was two of my heroes,Bill Goldman and RobReiner,workingtogether!

Although the novel waspublished in 1973 toimmediate acclaim andpassionate reader response, itwasalreadythirteenyearsoldbythetimeIwasapproachedto play the role of Westley.Goldman’sscreenplay,whichhehadadaptedfromhisown

book, had in fact becomesomething of a legendaryproperty in Hollywoodcircles, having been declaredby those in power at thestudiosasan impossible filmtomake.

ANDYSCHEINMANWewere trying tomeet all theactorswhomightbecapableofplayingWestley,and I seem toremember Colin Firth was oneof them. We get a call saying

there’s thiskidyoushouldsee,he’s in EastGermany. So all Iremember is it was right afterChernobyl. And I’m not crazyabout going to East Germany.I’m looking at maps, and theyhave gray areas where thenuclear fallout is and I don’tlike it. And Rob was like,“Don’tgoifyoudon’twantto.”But I did. I just rememberrunning fast into thehotel, likethat’s going to do anything.And literally leaving athousand-dollarjacketbehind.Ididn’t have that much money

and I certainly didn’t have anyother jackets like that, but Icouldn’twearitanymore.Ijustleftit.

Having arduously pennedthe script himself, Goldmanhadlongdeclaredit tobehisfavorite among those he hadwritten. High praise, giventhat by this time his oeuvreincluded Marathon Man,Butch Cassidy and the

Sundance Kid, and All thePresident’sMen, the last twoearning him AcademyAwardsforscreenwriting.

And yet, despiteGoldman’s impressiverésumé and passion for thepiece, the project seemeddestined to languish in whatis commonly known in thebusiness as “DevelopmentHell”—meaning it had beenpassed around the studios a

lot with all of them eitherunable to get it made, orsimply uninterested. AsGoldman himself oncefamously put it, “EvenFrançois Truffaut couldn’tmakethismovie.”

WILLIAMGOLDMANI was going to California on atrip, and I told my daughters,“I’llwriteyouastory;whatdoyouwant it to be about?”Andoneof themsaid,“Princesses!”

and the other said somethingabout “brides.” And I said,“Okay, thatwill be the title.” Iwentoutandwrotethefirsttwopages and then I stopped. AndthenyearslaterIwentbackandfinishedthebook.

It became this legendaryunproducedscript,evenbeingmentioned in the prestigiousFrench film journal CahiersduCinémaassuch.Andsoitseemed that the author’s

favorite work was destinednever to see the light ofday . . . that is, until it fellintotherighthands.

For thoseofyouunaware,it should be noted that RobReiner’scareerwasonaclearupward trajectory by thispoint. No longer merely asitcom star, he’d provenhimself to be an A-listdirectorwith adeft ability tomeldgenreswithhisworkon

The Sure Thing andespeciallyThisIsSpinalTap,released in 1984. Everyonewho cared about rock musicor comedy instantly fell inlove with the movie andmemorized its largelyimprovised dialogue. It wasthe first and maybe the bestofwhatwouldbecomeanewcategory of film andtelevision: the mockdocumentary (or

“mockumentary”),and itwasRob who steered the projectexpertly from its conceptionto the cult status it nowenjoys, even amongmusicians. Tom Petty oncedeclared his fondness for thedim-witted, aging rock starsby revealing that he and hisbandmates routinely gatherandrecite linesfromthefilmbefore going onstage. Robalsotoldmethatwhenhemet

with Sting about playingHumperdinck, the musiciantold him he had watchedSpinal Tap over fifty timesandthateverytimehe“didn’tknow whether to laugh orcry.” For a director orwriter(Rob’scoauthorsonthatfilmwereHarry Shearer,MichaelMcKean, and ChristopherGuest, whowould be amongthePrincessBrideensemble),

that has to be just about thehighestpraiseimaginable.

Around this same timeRobwasputtingthefinishingtouches on Stand by Me, anadaptationofaStephenKingnovella that would berecognizedasoneof thebestcoming-of-age storiesHollywood has everproduced. Later on, after Iarrived in London, hearranged a private screening

for me at Pinewood Studios,andIrememberbeingdeeplymoved by it. I hadn’t seenthat kind of honest actingfrom kids since watchingTruffaut’sThe 400 Blows. Itwas clear to me that fromThis Is Spinal Tap to TheSure Thing to Stand by Me,Rob was basically on awinning streak. His filmswereallverydifferentintoneandgenre,andtheyallended

updoingverygoodbusiness.He was a director with aunique vision who madememorable films. There wasreally no one else doing thekind of work that he wasdoing. So with thatimpressive body of workbehind him, Rob had earnedthe right to choose his nextproject based primarily onwhat he wanted to do ratherthan what was expected of

him. Essentially, he wasgiven carte blanche. As Iunderstand it, theconversation between Roband the then head ofColumbia Pictures, whichwas releasing Stand by Me,wentsomethinglikethis:

“Anything you want,” thestudio head told him.“Anythingatall.”

“Really? Anything?” Robrespondedwithglee.

“Yes.”“In that case Iwant to do

my favorite book,” Robreplied.

“What’sthat?”“ThePrincessBride.”“Anythingbutthat!”came

theinstantaneousresponse.And so for a while the

projectseemedtostall.But, to Rob’s credit, he

was steadfast. Although hehas an extraordinarily warm

andgenerousspirit,andisnotat all prone to the sort oframpant ego that is notuncommon among some ofthe upper echelon ofHollywood talent, he ishardly a pushover. In fact, itwas his sheer determinationand his vision that werelargely responsible formakingthefilmhappen.

Time has obviouslyproventhatRobwastheright

man for the job. Like mostpeople who read it, he hadbeenahugefanofthenovel.He also had supremeconfidence in his ability toblend all the different genresthatfilleditspages:romance,adventure, fantasy, drama,comedy, action. He wouldtake these elements and turnthem on their heads. Hewouldhave fundoing it and,in turn, create a movie that

would be fun for others. Toaccomplish that task requiresaverysurehand,andIdon’tbelieve many filmmakersthen or now could havepulleditoff.

ANDYSCHEINMANBy this time, Rob’s dad, CarlReiner, had already beenapproached by Bill Goldmanabout doing the project. ButCarl either didn’t have time orcouldn’tfigureouthowtodoit,

or whatever. For whateverreason, it just didn’t happen. Itwas about thirteen years laterthatRobsaidtome,“Ithinkit’sa great book and I think weshouldseeifwecanpullitoff.”

At one pointwe had almosthad it set up at ColumbiaPictures. That’s when I heardone ofmy favorite lines in themovie business. The head ofColumbia said, “You’ve got tobe careful with WilliamGoldman scripts.He tricksyouwithgoodwriting.”

With apologies to BillGoldman, who dislikes theterm,Robreallywas,forlackof a better description, ayoung auteur. One whosesuccess had left him withnearly complete artisticcontrol over his projects. Hewas able to release his filmsthe way he wanted them tolook,ashehadfinalcutintheeditingrooms,somethingthathardly exists today. And he

used his clout not toaccumulatestaggeringwealthwith superficial blockbusters,butrathertotacklesomethingfar more ambitious.Something near and dear tohisheart.

ROBREINERI had been a huge fan ofGoldman’s from the first bookhe ever wrote, which was TheTempleofGold, and thenYourTurn to Curtsy, My Turn to

Bow.Ireadliterallyeverybookhe had ever written. He wasdoingabookaboutone seasonon Broadway in 1968 calledThe Season, and my dad hadhad a play on that year, titledSomethingDifferent,whichBillhad devoted a chapter of hisbookto.Shortlythereafter,BillfinishedThePrincessBrideandsent it tomyfather tosee ifhewasinterestedinmakingitintoa movie. But he really didn’tknowwhattodowithit.Idon’tevenknowifheeverreaditornot, but he gave it to me

because he knew I was such abig fanofGoldman’s. Iwas inmy twenties at the time and Ihadn’tdirectedanything.Ireadit and it was just one of thoseexperiences when you’rereading something, you thinkthe writer is in your head.Everything in the book waslike, Oh, my God, I’m so insyncwiththissensibilityhere.Imean,Ijustfell inlovewithit.It was like the best thing I’deverread.Andsotimegoesbyand I’d doneAll in the Familyand then I startedmydirecting

career. And after the firstcouple of movies I startedthinking, Well, they makemovies out of books, and Istarted thinking about whatbook did I really enjoy, and IrememberedThePrincessBridewas my favorite book of alltime. So I naively said, “Iwonder if we could make amovie out of that.” I had noidea at the time that a lot ofpeople had already tried:Norman Jewison, RobertRedford, etc. It was in one ofthose cinema books as one of

the greatest screenplays everwritten that had never beenproduced. Ihadmyagencygetin touch with Bill to see if hewould be willing to meet withme. He had seen Spinal Tap,and Iwas just finishing upmysecondmovie,TheSureThing.Itwasstillinarough-cutform,but I arranged a screening forhim to see it. Thiswas all justfor Bill to agree to meet withme.

Howcouldonenotadmirethat?

Apparently the samestudio head at ColumbiaendeduptellingRob,“You’llnever get the rights anyway,as Goldman will never letanyonemakeit!”

So Rob decided to goahead and try to meet withGoldman, who by that timehad reacquired the rights tohis own novel, to see if he

could convince Goldman tolethimhavethematerial.Hetookwithhimthepersonwhoaccompanied him to all hismeetings: his producingpartner, Andy Scheinman. Itturnedoutthestudioheadhadindeed been accurate indescribing Goldman’sreticence to let themovie bemade.AsRobandAndywereto soon discover, the writerhad evidently nearly lost all

enthusiasm for the moviebusiness.Hehadn’t liked theway the studios had dealtwith him in the past,especially when it came tothis, his favorite project.Norhad he had any luck withthem,orwithanyoneelseforthat matter, trying to get itmade.

In order to betterunderstand Mr. Goldman’sframe of mind I should

perhaps furnish you with alittlehistoryaboutthevariousattempts tomake thepicture.As I understand it, at onepoint theprojectwasinitiallya “go” at 20th Century Fox,which had purchased thebook before it was evenpublished, with RichardLester (famous for theBeatlesmoviesAHardDay’sNight andHelp!) attached todirect. That was when who

Goldman refers to as the“Greenlight Guy” (i.e., theperson who decides whichprojects are to be made forthe studio) was fired at Fox.Then, as luckwould have it,the next Greenlight Guyproceededtoclearhisdeskofall his predecessor’s work (asurprisingly not uncommonoccurrence in our business)so that he could start with aclean slate. Which is when

Goldmanboughttherightstohis book back from Fox(unheard of to this day, Iimagine), to protect hischerished work and preventthem from letting someoneelserewritethescript.AsBillwrote in the twenty-fifth-anniversary edition of thebook,hefelthewas“theonlyidiot who could destroy itnow.”

By this time no othermajor studio was willing totouch the material but one.And believe it or not, theGreenlight Guy was in themiddle of negotiating withGoldman when he, too, wasfiredovertheweekendjustasthe deal was about to close.Another small movie studioliterally folded duringnegotiations. At one pointNorman Jewison, famous for

having directed Jesus ChristSuperstar, Fiddler on theRoof, and Moonstruck, wasgoing to make it as anindependent film but hecouldn’traisethemoneyevenwithathenvirtuallyunknownArnold Schwarzeneggerattached to play the role ofFezzik. After that, JohnBoorman, Robert Redford,and even François Truffauttried theirhandatgetting the

movie made but somehowcouldn’tgetitofftheground.

And so itmade sense thatGoldman was naturallyreticent to let his heart getexcitedalloveragainonlytobe potentially disappointed. Iguess he hadn’t gotten “usedto disappointment” when itcame to this particularproject.

Fortunately for Rob andfor us all, he finally got

Goldman’s blessing, whichwas a feat in itself. He thenwent to hismentor, producerNorman Lear (the geniusbehind Rob’s successfulsitcomAll in theFamily,andmany other classics likeSanfordandSon,OneDayataTime,TheJeffersons,GoodTimes,ArchieBunker’sPlaceand Maude), to ask if hemight produce the film.Learread the script and

immediately agreed tofinance the movie. Theproject was to be the secondfeature at Lear’s newcompany, Act IIICommunications, the firstbeing Stand by Me. Lear’sonlyprerequisitewasthatthemovie had to have adistribution deal at a majorstudio,otherwisehewouldbeoutofpocketforpossiblythemost expensive independent

movie ever. To everyone’srelief Rob then successfullypitched the project back to20thCenturyFox.And,aftera few false starts, Foxreluctantly agreed todistribute the film,whereupon Rob immediatelyset about the task ofassemblingacast.

ROBREINER

So I went with Andy to Bill’sapartment inNewYorkandheopenedthedoorandsaid,“Thisis my favorite thing I’ve everwritten inmy life. Iwant it onmytombstone.”Andessentiallythe subtextwas “What are yougoing to do to it?” And sowewentintohisdenandwetalkedthrough what I felt should bedone with the material. I hadreadoneofthescreenplaysandI thought they’d gotten so faraway from the book that theydidn’treallycapturethefeelingof the novel. Bill was writing

some notes down, and I didn’tknow if he liked what I wassayingornotbutabouthalfwaythrough themeetinghegetsupand goes to the kitchen to getsomethingtodrinkandIturntoAndyand I say,“Geez, Idon’tknow. I hope this is goingokay.” I just had no idea. Andthen Bill comes back into theroom,andhegoes,“Well,Ijustthink this is going great!” Hewas so excited about my takeon it, and I remember leavinghis apartment like I waswalking on air! I thought, My

God, this is like the greatest!This guy that I admired somuchwasbasicallygivingmeastampof approval togoahead.So thenwewent to get all thefinancingtogetherandwegotitmade.But tome, the highlightof my career was gettingWilliamGoldmantoagreetoletmedothisthing.

WILLIAMGOLDMANTheycametomyapartmentandwe met for a while. Rob haddonesometerrificmoviesthatIliked.Imean,hewasn’tAlfred

Hitchcock, but he’s a greatdirector. And I liked himpersonally. You don’t getoffered that many things bygooddirectors.

ThefirstpeopleRobhiredwere his buddies for two ofthe pivotal roles: BillyCrystal as Miracle Max andChrisGuest asCountRugen.Of course, this wasn’t just acaseofnepotism.ChrisGuest

was coming off his geniusperformanceasNigelTufnel,the dim but lovable metalguitarist in Spinal Tap. HeandBillywerealsobothstarson Saturday Night Live andBilly himself had starred inoneofmy favoriteAmericansitcoms,Soap.

As a young boy I hadtraveled on vacation to theStates in the ’70s with myAmerican stepfather. After

my first trip I becamefascinated with all thingsAmerican. There were manythings to be excited about,andoneofthemwasTV.Yousee, inEngland,wehadonlytwoTVchannels,whereas inthe United States the cableexplosionwasjustunderway.As soon as I arrived Idevoured everything relatedtoAmericanTVpop culture,but I became especially

fascinated with televisionsitcoms in particular—TheDick Van Dyke Show,M*A*S*H*, Gilligan’sIsland,TheBradyBunch,andlater on things likeSoapandTaxi—essentially all theclassic shows from theGolden Age of television inthe ’60s and ’70s. Including,of course, all of NormanLear’s shows. I had alsolistened to stand-up

comedians from mystepfather’srecordcollection,becoming familiar with thelikesofBobNewhart,WoodyAllen, Richard Pryor, andJonathanWinters.

SowhenIgotthecallthatRob was coming to see me,I’m not sure what made memoreexcited:thatIwasaboutto meet one of Hollywood’smost talented youngdirectors, or that Iwasgoing

tomeetoneofmyTVidols.Iunderstood exactly what wasatstakeinthismeeting.Therewas no disputing the impactthis role could have on mycareer.

As is often the casewhenmeeting with a director, Iknew that I was underconsideration, but I didn’thaveanyideawhetherIwasafront-runnerormerelyoneof

many candidates vying fortherole.

AGerman-soundingvoicecameoverthephonefromthefront desk: “Zere are twogentlemen in the lobby herefor you. Shall I send themup?” Rob and Andy hadarrived.

“Yes. Send them up,please,”Isaid,hangingup.

What surprised me as Iopened the door a few

minuteslaterweretwoofthebiggestsmilesIhadseeninalong timegreetingme.Therehe was: the man who hadcreated Marty DiBergi andMeathead—in my hotelroom! The other smilebelonged to his best friendand producing partner, AndyScheinman, about half Rob’ssize but with twice theenergy.

ROBREINERWell, I try togetpeoplewho Iknowcandoapart. Iwouldn’tjusthire friends for thesakeofhiring friends. But if they’reright for the part, absolutely.The problem I had with ThePrincessBridewasthatIhadtoget a young, dashing,swashbucklingkid,andayounggirl to play opposite him. Oh,and a giant. So itwasn’t like Ihadalotoffriendsthatcouldfitthose bills. I believe there wasonlyonepersonthatcouldplay

eachof those parts.ThemoviehasthatkindofformalEnglish,fairy-talefeeltoit—that“Inthedays of yore” kind of thing.And so I wanted them to havean English accent. At leastWestley and Buttercup . . .PrinceHumperdinckandCountRugen and so on. I had seenCary in Lady Jane, but thatpicture wasn’t a comedy. Ithought, He certainly looksright. He resembles a youngDouglasFairbanksJr.,andhe’ssohandsomeandhe’sa terrificactor. But I didn’t know if he

was funny, and this is like averyspecializedkindofacting,where you have to kind of beveryrealandearnest,butatthesame time there’s a slighttongue-in-cheek thinghappening. You have to strikethebalance.SoweflewovertoGermany, where Cary wasfilmingamovie.

What struck me abouttheseguyswastheirbeautifulfriendship. They seemed to

finisheachother’s sentences.I was immediately taken notonly with their personalcharm, which wasconsiderable, but also withtheir passion for the project.Robwasnotonlylegitimatelyfunny (which is hardlysurprising, since his father isCarl Reiner) but also verysweet, with an infectiouslaugh that could be heard inDetroit, as I like to say. In

fact, the man I met was farfrom the beleaguered son-in-law of Archie Bunker. Andman, was he a bornstoryteller. He was clearlyvery intelligent and avoracious reader, which ishow he knew of Goldman’swork. As it turns out hisfather had also given him acopyofThePrincessBridetoread as a kid—just as mystepfatherhaddoneforme.

Now, that didn’t exactlymake us unique, but itcertainly inspired a sense ofkinship.Iknewthestory,andI knew a little about thehistorybehindtheattemptstotranslate it to the screen. Ialso knew that in the righthands it had the potential tobebothhilariouslyfunnyandheartwarming. I sensed thatRob, given his bodyofwork

and his sensibility, was therightmanforthejob.

I offered them each abottle of water from theminibar. I have a distinctrecollection of Andy beingunnerved by the veryprospect of being so close toChernobyl, that he didn’twant to touch anything, letalonedrinkthewater.

“Soasyouprobablyknow,we’remaking amovie about

The Princess Bride and wethink you’d make a greatWestley,” Rob said, aftersettlingintoachair.

Rob has that easy way ofgettingstraighttothepointinafunnymanner.The“asyouprobably know” soundedalmostlyrical,almostasifhewere dragging it out in asingsongy way. I think myresponse was somethingfairly innocuous, like “Yeah,

I heard.That’sgreat!” Inmymind, I was thinking, Pleasedon’tmakemehavetoread.

“Well, we’re prepping inLondon already, and we’dlike to talk to you aboutcomingonboard.”

Thiswasgettingbetter bythe minute. His demeanorwas casual and friendly. Hehad a wonderful way ofputtingyouatease,andaswebegan to chat, my anxiety

slowly melted away. RobseemedsurprisedtolearnthatIhadspentconsiderabletimein America and wasintimately familiar with theworld of 1970s television.Here I was, a British actorworking on a film in Berlin,and our conversationrevolved largely around myrecounting favorite episodesof All in the Family. Wesegued into a larger

discussion of comedy andpop culture, then Bill Cosbycame up and somehow—Idon’t quite recall how—Ifound myself doing a FatAlbert impersonation, whichRob seemed to like. Iexplained to them that I hadgone to Sarah LawrenceCollege, as well as havingattended theotherprestigiousestablishmentsinNewYork.

We talked about SaturdayNight Live. Again, Robseemed pleased that I wassuch a fan of SNL. I didn’tunderstand at the time whythiswassoimportant tohim,butitwouldn’tbelongbeforeI’d get the point. I knew acertain lookwas required forthe role of Westley, and Isuppose I fit the bill in thatregard, but, then, so did athousand other young actors.

But they were also lookingfor someone with a sense ofhumor. And maybe I had achanceatbeingable tomakethese guys laugh. Which Ihad surprisinglyaccomplished with the FatAlbert impression. It waslooking good, right up untiltragedystruck.

“Look,Ialreadythinkthatyoumightbetherightguyforthis,” Rob said. “But do you

mindifwejustreadacoupleof lines? Just so I can hearit?”

Why?Whydidhehavetomakeme read? It was goingsowelluptothatpoint.

Okay, here goes . . . themomentoftruth.Readingthelines. The fact of the matterwas that I had gotten moreworkfromstraightoffersthanfromauditions.ButIcouldn’t

thinkaboutthatnow.Ihadtoputonabraveface.

Rob reached into anenvelopehehadbroughtwithhimandpulledoutacopyofthescript.Heopenedittooneof Westley’s monologues—theone inwhichhe recountstoPrincessButtercuphowhebecame his alter ego, theDread Pirate Roberts—andhandedittome.

I cleared my throat andslowly began to read. I wascold and unprepared, butluckily I knew the story andthe tone of the novel. I alsoknewthatmanyof thefilm’sbest lines would have to bedelivered with a barelyperceptiblewink.

Afterjustafewsentences,Robheldupahand.

“Okay, that’s enough,” hesaid.

I wondered for a momentwhether I had blown italready.Ihadbarelyreadhalfapage.

“Really?Areyou sure?” Ireplied.

“Yeah. So how muchlonger do you have left onthismovie?”heasked.

Itookadeepbreath,tryingtohidemyexcitement.

“A couple of weeks, giveortake.”

“Perfect,” Rob said.“We’regoingtohavealotoffun making this movie, andhopefully, if the studioagrees,we’d likeyou tobeapartofit.”

I stammered outsomething in response, thebasicgistofwhichwas“Yes,I’dloveto.Thankyou!”

Wasthatanoffer?Oh,myGod,Ithinkitwas!

Butthenagain,hehadsaid“if the studio agrees.” Whywould they question RobReiner, a man who hadalready shown great skill atcastinghisotherhitmovies?Iquickly changed the subject,trying to act as cool as Icould. I asked them bothwhen theywere headed backtoLondon.MaybeIcouldgetthem to stay for dinner andconvince them that, even

though I knew the readingsucked, I was still the rightguy for the part. But Robreplied that theywere in factontheirwaytoParisthatveryafternoon. This was awhirlwind trip for him andAndy. It turns out theywerein the process of trying totrack down a world-famouswrestler for the role ofFezzik. Which is about alltheycouldtellme.

“Whenwegetback,we’llget in touchwithyour agent,andifallgoeswell,we’llseeif we can work it out,” Robsaid. “If that’s all right withyou?”“If that’s all right” with

me? Heck, yeah, it’s “allright.”Itcouldnothavebeenmore“allright.”

“Ofcourse,” I stammered.Weshookhandswarmlyandsaid our good-byes.And I’m

prettysureIwasonthephonewith my agent before theirelevator even reached thelobby.

“IthinkI’vegotthisone,”I said, out of breath withexcitement.

“Okay,”Harrietsaid.“Justsittight.I’llgivethemacall.”

As soon as I hung up thephone I immediately startedhavingananxietyattack.WasRobserious?Maybeheoffers

roles to all the actors hemeets to make them feelbetter? I felt he was a manwho could be taken at facevalue. Best not to wasteenergy fretting, I thought.Another role would comealong soon enough. But younever can fool yourself. Iknew in my heart, this onewasdifferent.Ireallywantedit.

The nextmorning,Harrietcalledagain.

“Areyousittingdown?”“Yes.”“You got it!” she said.

“Theyofferedyouthepart.”

ANDYSCHEINMANWell, every once in a whilewe’ve found ourselves in aweird position. There was onewomanwhodidn’tevenhavetoread for the part, as she was awell-known actress. She came

in forameetingandsaid,“I’mprepared, letme read for you.”And after she left, Rob said,“Ohno.Shecan’tdothis.”Buthe’d already offered her therole!

Iwasspeechless.Thiswasno small leap of faith onRob’s part. I was hardly ahousehold name. They couldeasily have cast any numberof recognizable, bankableBritish actors who probably

would have been deemed“right” for the role. But theychose me. In retrospect, italmost seemed too easy.Certainly, auditions don’talways go so smoothly. Andsometimes a meeting is justthat. Sometimes you get thejob. Sometimes you don’t.Youjustneverknow.IguessRob knew what he wanted,andIwasfortunateenoughtobeinhisfieldofvision.

ROBREINERCarywasvery funny.HedidaBill Cosby impersonation. Ididn’t ask him to do that. Hewas just kind of a naturallyfunny guy, and I thought,“Wow,thisguycouldreallydoit.”Hewas theonlyguy I sawthat I thought could play thatpart. The same went forButtercupandFezzik.

ANDYSCHEINMANCasting was interesting. Formany of the parts, we didn’t

have a second choice. Wedidn’t have someone else tochoose. We didn’t have asecondforButtercup,wedidn’thave a second for Fezzik—forsure! And we didn’t have asecondforWestley.Ifwedidn’tfindthosepeople—Ibelievethelast of whom was Cary—thenwedidn’thaveamovie.TosayCary was the last piece of thepuzzleisn’tquitetrue.Carywasthe puzzle. Imean,Andréwasvery important, but Cary wasthemovie, you know?Andwedidn’thaveanyone.Wewanted

Errol Flynn, and he had to befunny,whichIdon’tthinkErrolFlynn was. It’s not that youhave tobefunny,butyouhaveto get the sense of humor. It’snotgooutandbehysterical,butyouhavetoplaythepartwithalittletwinkleinyoureye,whichCarypulledoffbeautifully.

IrememberwesatdownandCary opens the script, and hereads maybe four words, andwe go, “Well . . . this is theguy.”Idon’trememberexactlyhow long themeetingwas, butit was just like, boom! That’s

him!Rob does this sometimes,and he’s great. I mean, itdoesn’t happen a lot, quitefrankly. But once in a whilesomeone will read, or they’llcome in and they’ll haveworked like all night preparingforthisbigaudition,andthey’llbe halfway through the secondline of a four-page scene, andRobwillsay,“That’senough.Idon’t have to hear anymore.Yougotit.It’syours.”

AsHarrietranthroughthedetails of my deal, I wasblown away. I recall tellingher to accept the offer rightaway, before they changedtheirminds.

BILLYCRYSTALIrememberRobcomingbackfrom Germany and saying,“Wait till you see this guy.He’s Douglas Fairbanks Jr.buthe’salsoreallyfunnyandhe does impressions.” He’s a

very alive guy, Cary. A veryalert guy. And, you know, Ilove that about him. He’salwayssointunewithwhat’sgoing on at the moment.When I met him, I got thesamefeelingasRob:thisguywasinthesameballparkwithFairbanks Jr., a young ErrolFlynn; kind of your dashing,sensitive leading man, whoalso could hurt you if he hadto.

PRE-PRODUCTIONANDMEETINGBUTTERCUPLONDON,AUGUST2,1986

Within a few short weeksafter wrappingMaschenka, Iwas back home in London,which was also the base forthe production of ThePrincess Bride. Much of thecrew and some of the castwere already assembling.Indeed, the first cast read-throughofthescreenplaywasonly a few days away. Soonafter I arrived I got a phonecall from the production

office. Iwas instructed to gofor a wardrobe fitting withourcostumedesigner,PhyllisDalton, who had donefantasticworkwithoneofmyfavorite directors, DavidLean, on both Lawrence ofArabia and Doctor Zhivago,for which she won anAcademyAward.OnethingIknew for sure was that mycostumewasgoingtobefirst-rate. I was to meet her at

Angels, one of the oldestcostume houses in LondonandaperennialOscarwinnerfordesigninthatfield.WhenI walked into the lobby, thefirst thing I noticed was anassortment of ornatecostumes elegantly fitted onmannequins. Upon closerinspectionInoticedthatsomeof them appeared to beauthentic, dating back to theeighteenthcentury.

Within minutes I foundmyself in an upstairs office,where Phyllis, a demure andvery pleasant lady, politelyintroduced herself. We satand drank tea as we chattedabout the role for a bit. Shethen leaned forward andgrabbed a portfolio she hadon a coffee table nearby andproceeded to show me someof the sketches that she hadalreadydoneforWestleyand

the other characters in themovie. It was all verycarefully laid out, with eachsketch including swatches ofthe material she wanted touse. From the first glimpse Icould tell she had nailed thetone and feel of Goldman’sbook. The colors, textures,and the look of thematerialswere beyond what I hadimagined. For Humperdinckand Rugen there were fine

velvet doubletswith intricateembroidery.FortheSpaniard,Montoya,therewasamixtureof brown burlap and leather.ForButtercup,hermain lookwouldbeaflowingredfloor-length dress, contrastingnicelywith theblack leather,suede,andcottonof theManinBlack.

After studying themcarefully I turned to her and

said, “Wow, Phyllis! Thesearereallybeautiful.”

“Oh, thank you. Youknow, it’s funny . . . I don’treally like doing sketches,”came the unexpectedresponse.

“Really? But you are sogood at it,” I blurted out,trying to steer theconversation toward one ofmy favorite filmsofall time.“What aboutLawrence?You

must’ve done a few for that,surely?”

“Oh, that!” she said.“Well,onthatoneIhadtodomore sketches than I haveeverdonebefore.”

“Why?”Iinquired.“Because a lot of the

costumes had to be made inDamascus and itwashard togetthetailorsovertheretodoexactlywhatwewanted.”

She then told me she hadalready put together somerough costumes for Westleyandthatshe’dliketohavemetry them on so that theseamstress could make anynecessary adjustments. Herassistantthenshowedmetoadressing room, wherehanging on a rack was thecostume that would come tobe iconic: a pair of blacksuede pants, black leather

boots,athinblackbelt,apairof black lace ruffled shirts,black gloves, and a blackmask. Itwas all very elegantand surprisingly comfortable.Itriedonthegreat,billowingshirt,with its huge sleeves. Ihad already worn one muchlikeitforLadyJane,soitfelta little familiar. Then thetight-fitting suedepants.Andfinallytheboots.

Once fully dressed, Ilooked in the mirror. Evenwithout the mask, I knewwhatitmusthavefeltlikeforDouglas Fairbanks or ErrolFlynn trying on theircostumesforthefirsttimeonanyoneoftheirclassicpiratemovies.A knock at the doortookmeoutofmyreverie.

“Are you decent?” camePhyllis’s voice from behindit.

“Yes.”She opened the door,

looked at me, and said,“Ahhh . . . that’s not bad atall.” She stopped to ponder.“But . . . there’s somethingmissing.”

She then called over herassistant and asked her to goand fetch some black satin.When the assistant returnedwiththematerial,Phyllistiedone piece around my head

andanotheraroundmywaistlikeasash.

“There,” she said, “that’sbetter!”

She then had me try onsome temporary masks thatshehaddesigned,whichwerein fact not unlike the oneworn by Fairbanks in Zorro.Butnoneofthemfitproperly.Phyllis explained that since Iwould be wearing itthroughoutmuchof the film,

not only did it have to fitperfectly but, most of all, ithad to be comfortable andthat the only way to do thatwas to takeaplastermoldofmy head. This is a fairlystandard procedure onmovieproductions that involveaction or special effects orsuperheroes thatwearmasks,althoughIhadn’texperienceditbefore.

A seamstress thenappearedandbegantopinthepants so that they would beeven more skintight. I askedPhyllis whether I would beable to put them on withoutdifficultyonce theyhadbeensewn. She replied that shewouldprefer to sew themoneach day, but that wouldn’tbe practical given that Iwouldbedoingalotofstuntsin them. And, being suede,

they would start to give alittle anyway with time, sheexplained. I joked aboutknowing how Jim Morrisonmust’ve felt wearing hissignature skintight leatherpants.

I then tried on an outfitmade mostly of burlap andthickcotton,whichwouldbeWestley’s clothes as theinfamous Farm Boy. Phyllistoldmeshehadbeeninspired

bypaintingsbyN.C.Wyethand Bruegel, and they feltveryauthentic tome,but shewasn’tentirelyhappy.

“No, let’s come back tothese. You need a hood ofsomekind.”

Shesaidsheneededalittlemore time to figure that outand told me we would havemore fittings soon. After afew Polaroid photographswere taken to show Rob, I

changedback intomyboringoldjeansandT-shirt,thankedPhyllis,herassistant, and theseamstress,andheadedhome.The Man in Black wasstartingtotakeshape.

The next day I got anothercall from the productionoffice and was giveninstructions about where togetamoldtakenofmyface.I

had to travel to SheppertonStudios, where ourproduction offices were setup, and visit the folks in thespecial effects (known as“FX”) department.Shepperton is located in thecountrysideinSurrey,aboutahalf hour or so outside ofLondon, and is generallyregarded as one of the greatEuropean film studios. Froma historical perspective, it’s

the sort of place that has analmost reverential appeal tomost people in the business.Among themovies that havebeen filmed there areLawrence of Arabia, Dr.Strangelove, 2001: A SpaceOdyssey, The Elephant Man,StarWars,Alien,Gandhi . . .tonamebutafew.

Having worked as aproduction assistant in myteens,Iknewmywayaround

filmlotsa littlebit,but tobehere,atthefamedSheppertonStudios,astheleadinamajorHollywood movie was adifferent experiencealtogether. Map in hand, Iwalked tooneof the“shops”assigned to our FXdepartmentonthelotandmetwithNickAllder,our specialeffectssupervisor.Nickhadagreat body of work behindhim, having already worked

on Alien (yes, that was hisnasty creature escaping fromJohn Hurt’s chest), TheEmpireStrikesBack (foryouJedis reading this, there is astrong Star Wars connectionto Princess Bride, which Iwill get to later on), ConantheBarbarian,andTheJewelof the Nile. Nick, a veryaffablefellow,introducedmetohisteam,oneofwhomwasalready in the process of

working on an unfinishedanimatronic Rodent ofUnusual Size (R.O.U.S.)—the one that would end upbitingmeduring our fight intheFireSwamp.Itwasmadeofwhitefoamrubberandhadno hair, which made it evenmore grotesque-looking.Youcould see all the wires andpulleys attached to electronicservos that allowed the“puppeteer” to move the

mouth. Even at this stage itlooked very effective andthey were proud to show itoff tome. As I stared at thegiantratwith itsdeadeyes,Iwondered if Bill Goldmanhad ever experienced thesame giant rats I hadencountered while living inManhattan—theonesthesizeof cats, thatmakeyou freezein your tracks. The kind thatare not afraid of human

beings and carry themselveswith that swagger and giveyou that look that seems toimply, “Yeah, what are yougonnadoaboutit?”

Nick explained that whiletheprocedureofcoveringmyfacewithwetplasterofPariswas relatively painless, itcould be very tedious, as Iwould be spending a longtime,perhapsanhour,sittingin a chair with my face

covered in said plaster. HeaskedifIwasclaustrophobic,whichwaskindofunnervingin and of itself, to which Ireplied, “No, not really,” nothaving any idea just howclaustrophobic this wholeprocess would be. He thensaid, “We’re gonna becoveringyourwholeheadbutwe will provide you with acouple of straws to put up

your nose so you canbreathe.”

ThankGodforthat!He continued, “If at any

time you feel uncomfortable,can’t breathe, or if you arehaving some kind of panicattack, just make a slashingsign with your hand acrossyourthroatandwewillbegintakingofftheplaster.”

“Okay,” I said,wonderingjusthowmanyactorshadhad

panicattacksbeforeme.“Just so you know,” Nick

went on, “if we do that wewill have to repeat theprocessalloveragaintogetitdone.”

IrepliedthatIunderstood.“Great!” saidNick. “Let’s

getstarted,shallwe?”Heandhiscolleaguesthen

proceeded to completelycovermyheadwithVaselineandthenplasterofParis,and

provided me with theaforementioned straws to putin my nostrils for breathing.Claustrophobic would be anunderstatement, folks. It feltlike having your headencased in a suffocating,heavy, oversizepumpkin/helmet made ofclay.Afteranhourorsotheywere done and the plastereventually dried. It was thencracked neatly open and

removed from my head, andthe resulting product wasusedasamold.

Iwasmeant to looklikeapirate. And not just anypirate, but the Dread PirateRoberts (loosely based onnotorious privateerBartholomew Roberts), thescourge of the Seven Seas.His identitywas supposed tobeasecret.Andwhilea leapof faithwouldbe required to

presume that the othercharacters in the film (mostnotablyButtercup)wouldnotimmediately spot theresemblance betweenWestley and the Man inBlack, the audiencewas freeto make the connection(which, of course, they did).Still, it had to look right.Despitegoingtogreatlengthsto create dozens of perfectmasks, the makeup

department still wound uphaving to use dark makeuparound my eyes in somescenes to create a seamlesstransition between mask andskin, much like what Iunderstand they do with allthefolkswhoplayBatman.

After I cleanedmy face, Iwas met by a productionassistant who told me thatRobwanted to seeme in hisoffice.Weheadedovertothe

production office followingsigns reading BUTTERCUPFILMS,LTD andwent upstairs.AsIwalkedin,Robgottohisfeetfrombehindhisdeskandgreeted me with that warmsmileofhis.

“Hey, Cary. How yadoin’?” A usual Robsingsongyrefrain.

“Great,thanks.”“Goodtoseeya.”Hegave

meabearhug.

It should be noted that allhugsfromRobarebearhugs.

“So . . . how did the facemoldgo?”

“Weird,”Iresponded.“I know, right?” He

laughed. “Did they stick thestrawsupyournose?”

“Yes. And I almost threwupthroughthem.”

Rob chuckled. “Come on,Iwannashowyouaround.”

“We have a great crew,”he said. “And I want you tomeetthem.”

It was extremelythoughtful of Rob to extendthe invitation; not manydirectors do that with theiractors during preproduction.But Rob was different. Iwould learn later that he hadhandpicked nearly everymember.

Iendedupmeetingquitealotofthemthatday,fromthebookkeepers to the folks inthe props department andalmost everyone in between.Every time we ran intosomeone,Robwouldstopandintroduce us, and, withunfailing enthusiasm, say tothem,“AndthisisCary.He’splayingWestley.”

IntheartdepartmentImetour production designer,

Norman Garwood, withwhom I would end upworkingontwomoremovies.Normanisanebullient,sweetguy and obviously verytalented. He had worked ontwo magnificent TerryGilliammovies,TimeBanditsand Brazil, and on TheMissionary, all of themcontainingoneofmyfavoritecomedians, Michael Palin(more about him later).

ClearlyNormanwasaMontyPython favorite, which madehim perfect for ourproductioninmybook,beinga Python fan myself. Everyinchofthewallswascoveredin magnificent drawings andpaintingsofallthesets,fromMiracle Max’s cabin toButtercup’s suite in Florincastle and from FredSavage’s bedroom to the PitofDespair.Theyweresimply

magical.Onecouldreallyseethe mythology of the filmstarting to take shape. As Iexpressed my excitement atthe visual imagerysurrounding me, NormansuggestedtoRobthathetakemeforatourofthesetstheywerealreadystartingtobuild.

CHRISSARANDONThe crew was fantastic. Thecrews I’ve worked with in

England, generally speaking,arejustgreatfun.Alotofthemare working-class guys, menand women, and they’re justloose.They’refabulous.

“Oh, yeah. You gotta see’em!” Rob saidenthusiastically. “They’rereallysomething.”

Rob tookmebackoutsideand we walked over to HStage, where carpenters,

plasterers, and painters weredeep into the process ofconstructing the set for theFire Swamp, which wasstartingtogetfilledwithfaketrees, creepers, vines, andgiant mushrooms. The detailwas extraordinary. IrememberturningtoRobandsaying, “Wow! It’s like TheWizardofOz!”

“Pretty cool, huh?” hereplied.

HethentookmeovertoCStage,andaswewalkedontothe set I stood and marveledat the sight of the massiveclifftop where the famousduel between Westley andInigo Montoya would takeplace. Standing on thatsoundstage, with its cloudyblue sky backdrop, I felt apalpable sense of . . . notrelief, but more like joy. Ididn’t doubt that Rob could

pull this off; I just hadn’tenvisioned how hewould doit.Nowitwasbecomingreal.I could tell that this wasclearly the most expensiveproduction either of us hadever been involvedwith, andalotofitssuccesswasridingon whoever was playingButtercup and that fellowplayingWestley.

Aswewalkedback to theproduction offices, I askedRobabouttherestofthecast.He mentioned that he’dalready recruited his friendsBillyCrystalandChrisGuest,which was very cool. Andthat Mandy Patinkin wouldplay Inigo Montoya, theavenging Spaniard. I didn’trecallMandy’sbodyofworkat that point but I assumed,given Rob’s meticulous

casting, that he would be aperfect choice. He then ranthrough a stellar lineup oftalent that they wereapparently in negotiationswith, includingWallyShawntoplayVizzini.

“Oh, I love him!” I said.“How great is My DinnerwithAndre?”

“Amazing,” Rob said.“And I think we also gotChris Sarandon for

HumperdinckandCarolKaneforMiracleMax’swife.”

“No way,” I respondedincredulously.

“How about that forcasting?” He was almost asexcitedasIwas.

Thiswasturningouttobea much bigger productionthanIhadinitiallyimagined.

“And we’re so lucky.Wealso found our Buttercup,”Rob added. “It took a while,

butwe found her.” I becameintrigued by Rob’sfascinationwithhisdiscoveryofthe“perfect”Buttercup.

“Howdidyoufindher?”Iasked.

“Turns out the castingdirectorhadherpictureonthewall thewhole time. But forsome reasonwe never calledher in because we were sobusylookingforBrits!”

CHRISSARANDONMy ex-wife, Susan Sarandon,had done amovie with RobertRedfordandRedfordatthetimeowned the film rights to thebook. He wanted to make themovie,andhegaveacopyofittohertoread.Ireaditaswell,andIjustflippedoverit.Therewas such a wonderfulcombination of adventure,romance, satire, and parody;having fun with differentgenres.AndIjustthought,Thisis amazing. I hope this movie

getsmade.Butofcourse,yearswentbyandnothinghappened.Sojump-cuttomanyyearslaterand suddenly I get a call fromoneofmyagents saying, “RobReiner and Bill Goldmanwantyou to read for The PrincessBride for the role of PrinceHumperdinck,” and I went,“Oh,myGod. This is a dreamcometrue!Ilovethisbook.”

CAROLKANEIwasbeyondluckytobeapartof this. I got a call from Robabout being in it, and to play

Billy’swife.At the time IwasdoingaplayinWilliamstown.Idon’tthinkIeventhoughtaboutitmuch.Ijustsaidyes.Theideaof being Billy’s wife in a bigold fairy tale just sort of . . .well,it’snotsomethingtothinkabout. You just do it. Then IreadthescreenplayandI lovedit. And then Billy and I gottogether in my apartment laterin LA, and we kind of builtourselves a life, a littlebackstoryforourcharacters.

“Who is she?” I askedcuriously.

“Her name is RobinWright. Have you heard ofher?”

Ihadnot, andadmittedasmuch.

Rob nodded. “She’s onthisTV showSantaBarbara—it’s a daytime soap. Butdon’t let that fool you, she’samazing. She came in andread for us and just blew us

away!” Rob went on. “Waittill you meet her. Oh, myGod! You’re going to loveher.”

With that we continuedwalking down the hall. Andjust as we turned a corner,lessthanaminutelater,thereshe was, walking up thestairs.

“Hey, there she is!” Robcalled out to her. “Hiya,

Robin! I want you to meetsomeone.”

Shewas tall andwillowy,with long blond hair andlarge, blue, expressive eyes.Inaword:gorgeous.Shewasalso very young, as I’d soondiscover,barelytwenty,andIfeltasmallsenseofreliefthatI wouldn’t be the youngestperson on the movie (notcountingFredSavage).

ROBREINERIsawhundredsofgirls,buttheyhad to be as described in thescript:themostbeautifulgirlinall the land. And she had tohave an English accent. AndRobin, even though she’sAmerican, has an Englishstepfather, so she cameby thatvery naturally. And she wasstunningly beautiful and theright age. Shewas literally theonlyone I sawwhocouldplaytherole.

WILLIAMGOLDMANIwentouttoCaliforniabecausewe were trying to findButtercup. She had to be themostbeautifulgirlintheworld,and all these beautiful girlscame in, and they weregorgeous, but they weren’tButtercup. Finally, Rob calledandsaid,“I think I foundher,”and then Robin came in theroom and we talked for aminuteandIimmediatelycalledRob and said, “Grab her!”Becauseshewas,asyouknow,

just unbelievable.And she stillis.

ANDYSCHEINMANRobin was perfect. But youknowwhat?TheymadeherdoanextrayearonSantaBarbarainexchangeforgivinghertimeoff to do the movie, which Ithoughtwaskindofrotten.Butshe didn’t complain. Robinwas . . .well . . . Imeanshe’ssuch a beautiful girl. And thepart called for that. But therewasasweetness,too.Therearea lot of beautifulwomen, a lot

of beautiful actors, but therearen’ta lotofbeautifulwomenwho are also really funny.Notthat she has to be hystericallyfunnytoplayButtercup,butshehas to be able to understandwhat’s funny about the scriptand the role, and have a greatsenseofhumor.

I’ll never forget the firsttime Rob introduced us.“Cary,” he said. “This isRobin. She’s playing

Buttercup! The girl you’regoingtofallinlovewith.”

A huge smile formed onher faceasshe turned tohimand said, “Oh,Rob!”as if tosay, “Please!” and then sheextended her hand to shakemine.“Hi,”shesaidinaverysweet tone. What I saidbesides “Hi” back I cannotrecall.Iprobablydidn’tsayagreat deal, since I felt like Ihad been poleaxed. I

remembered Goldman’sdescription of Buttercup inthebook:Shewasthemostbeautiful

woman in a hundred years.Shedidn’tseemtocare.

ROBINWRIGHTMy theory is that theywere socompletely tired of meetinggirls—I think I was the five-hundredthgirltheysaw—atthatpoint theywere like, “Just casther! Make her the princess!”

They were so stunned, aftermeeting all the ingénues ofHollywood.Thatwasmyluckyfate—theywereexhausted.

And that was exactly trueas far as Robin wasconcerned.ItwasasifIwerelooking at a young GraceKelly.Shewasthatbeautiful.My awkwardness must’vebeen obvious because Robgaveme a little nudge to the

ribsandagrinthatseemedtosay, “Huh? Am I right orwhat?”

I do remember Robinmimicking a perfect Englishaccent, something she doesremarkably well, and thentotally disarming me with agiggle that mushroomed intothe most wonderful laugh. Irememberthinkingtomyself,Wow!Howmanywomenarethat beautiful and that funny

aswell?Imean,itfiguresthatRob would find someonetalented to play Buttercup,but to have that combinationof beauty and comicsensibility . . . that’s a rareandwonderfulthing.

It turns out Robin hadstoppedby the studio forherown last-minute costumefittings. I thinkweended theconversation with her sayingshe was really looking

forward to working with meand me stammeringsomethinghopeless in return,like “Me, too.” To use aphrase that would beperfectly appropriate in thefairy-tale realm of ThePrincessBride,Iwassmitten.Withinafewminuteswehadgone our separate ways—Robinofftoherfitting,andIback to the production officeto sign some paperwork and

pick up a copy of theschedule.But, tobehonest,Icouldn’tconcentrateonmuchof anything after that firstencounter with Robin. Shewas the perfect Buttercup inmy mind’s eye. I couldn’twaittogetstarted.

THETABLEREADANDMEETINGFEZZIK

Afewdayslatereveryoneinthecastgatheredforour firsttable read in the banquetroomoftheDorchesterHotel,one of London’s oldest andmost stylish five-star inns,situated in the elegantMayfair district where Rob,Andy, andBillwere staying.As I entered the room Ilooked around and noticedthat most of the cast wasalready there, looking very

relaxed. The room was alsofullystockedwithsoftdrinksand snacks laid on silverplatters, including the hotel’sfamous watercress and eggsandwiches. At the center ofthe room was a large oaktablewithsometwentychairsaroundit.Onthetablewereanumber of scripts. A coupledozenmorechairs ringed theperimeter—seating for theheadsofvariousdepartments.

I saw Rob and Andy talkingtoamanwhomIimmediatelyrecognized as Bill Goldmanandmadeabeelineforthem.

“Hey, Cary,” said Rob,giving me another bear hug,“haveyoumetBillyet?”

“N-no,” I stammered.“Hi.”Therehewas.Standingright in front of me . . . thelegendary William Goldman.A man whose work hadenthralled me as a kid. He

was tall and thin, and hadwisps of gray hair. He alsohadawarmsmileandaneasydemeanorabouthim.

“Nice to meet you,” hesaid, shaking my perspiringhand.

AsIbegantotellhimhowmuchIenjoyedthescriptandthebook—dialogueIamsureGoldmanwaswellusedtobythis point in his career—thetopiccamearoundtoFezzik.

“Sowho’splayinghim?”Iasked.

“Oh, man. We got theperfect guy,” Rob saidexcitedly. “Remember thewrestler I told you about inBerlin? His name is AndrétheGiant.”

“His last name is really‘TheGiant’?”

“Youneverheardofhim?”BillGoldmanasked,crackingasmile.

“IthinkI’drememberthatname.”

“Oh, he’s terrific. He’s aworld-famous wrestler!” Billreplied. Turns out he was aself-described“lunaticfan”ofAndré’s.

“Did you ever see thatepisode of The Six MillionDollar Man where he meetsBigfoot?”Robaskedme.

WILLIAMGOLDMAN

IknewIhadagiantinthestory.And then I was watchingtelevision once, years before Ieverwrotethescreenplay,andIthought, André could play thegiant. Then I went toMadisonSquare Garden and I saw himand fell in love with him likeeverybody did. And he waswonderfulforus.

“I think so,” I said as itstarted to dawn onme. “I’mnotsure.”

“Anyway, that’s him!TheBigfoot guy!” exclaimedRob.

“Anditwasperfectcastingas his feet really are big,”Andy chimed in with ahilariousunderstatement.

ANDYSCHEINMANFinding André was interesting.You know, there’s a scenewhere Westley rides onFezzik’s back while they’rewrestling, right?Well, I ended

up riding on the backs of somany gigantic people trying tofind this guy because whenwe’dmeetandaskthemtoread,they all said, “I could do itbetter if youwere onmy backfor this scene.” There was theguy who won the World’sStrongestMancontest,andI’mridingaroundonhisbackwhilehe’s trying tosayhis lines.Wemet a couple of other guys,including Richard Kiel, whohad played Jaws in the JamesBond movies The Spy Who

LovedMe andMoonraker. Butnoneofthemwereright.

ROBREINERBillGoldmanwas theonewhosaid,“YoushouldlookatAndrétheGiant.”WeallknewAndrébecause we’d seen himwrestling. But I had no idea ifhecouldactornot.WemethimatahotelinParis,andwhenwewalked in, the manager said,“There’samanwaitingforyouat the bar.” Sowewalked intothe bar and itwas literally likeFezzik was described in the

book. It was like a landmasssitting on a barstool. He cameup to our hotel room to read.We had a three-page scene forhim to audition with, and Ididn’t understand a word hesaid. Also, he’d never been inone place for more than twoweeks;hewasalwaystravelingall over the world. So I said,“You know this is fifteenweeks, right,André?You’ll beintownforfifteenweeks.”Andhesays,“Idoit,boss.”Thenhesays, “You want me to playthese three pages for fifteen

weeks?” He thought that washiswhole part. So I said, “No,no, you’re all throughout thefilm. There’s a lot of scenes.”And again he says, “I do it,boss.” So he leaves—and hewas a really sweet guy—and Iturn toAndyandsay,“Oh,myGod.Idon’tknowifhecandothisornot.”Buthewasperfectfor the part.He looked exactlyright.

“So he’s a real giant,then?”Iasked.

“He’s literally the biggestguy on the planet. And youget to fight him! How aboutthat?” Rob said with a hugelaugh.

The biggest guy on theplanet?

I tried to conjure up animageinmyhead.

At that very moment thedoor to the ornate roomopened and in walked thegiant himself . . . André. It

was likea scene fromanoldWestern, where the guyenters the saloon andeveryone stopswhat theyaredoing, including the pianoplayer. The first thing Irememberabouthim,besideshis immense height, ofcourse, was his beautiful,sweet, beaming smile. Itwasagiant smile, and the reasonforthiswasbecausehisteethwere regular size, so you

could see all of them as heopenedhismouth.Hehad tobow down low as he camethrough the doorway so thathewouldn’tcrackhisheadonthe doorframe—obviouslysomething he had becomeaccustomedtoovertheyears.I remember Rob introducingus, and watching my fingersdisappearasweshookhands,completely engulfed by apalm bigger than a catcher’s

mitt. If you want to get asense of just how big theywere google “André theGiant” and “beer can” andyou’ll understand what I’mtalking about. According tohis official website, his shoesize was twenty-four and hiswrist was nearly a foot incircumference. Standing nexttohim,Ionlycameuptohisbellybutton!

In retrospect, Andréseemed to have been born toplay the role—likeRob said,“It’s not like you put out acastingcallforagiantandgetatonofcallbacks.”Hewasarealgiant,standingsevenfeetfour inches tallandweighing540 pounds. According toRob, André had at firstexpressed trepidation aboutbeing in the film. BeingFrench (his real name is

André René Roussimoff), hewas apparently highlyinsecure about his ability tospeak English fluently. Robeasedhisconcernsbysendinghimanaudio-tapedversionofthe scene he wanted him tolook at involving Fezzik soAndré could listen to it andstudy it, and then, if he wasso inclined, read for thepart.Which he did for Rob andAndywhentheyflewtoParis

after meeting with me inBerlin.Whenthereadingwasover Rob turned to him andsaid,“Thatwasgreat,André.Yougotit,buddy!”

“Thanks, boss,” came thereply. It shouldbenoted thatdespite his gargantuan sizeAndré took to callingeveryone “boss” as away ofdisarming them in a verycharmingway.

Eventually the wholescriptwasputontapeforhimso that he could understandand memorize his role. Andhe did a great job with it,despiteEnglish not being hisfirst language and his notbeinginthebestofhealth.Hewas apparently due for anoperationonhisback.

ROBREINER

SowhatIdidwasputdownontapehisentirepart.Iacteditoutfor him and he studied it overandoverandhegot it. Imean,weneverhadtoevenloophim.SoAndréwasthethirdpiece.IfI don’t get any one of them, Ican’tmakethemovie.

ANDYSCHEINMANSo Rob and I ended uprecordingallofAndré’ssceneson tape. Rob did André and Idid whoever else was in thescene. And André would walkaroundinheadphones,withthat

tape playing all the time.Listening,figuringitout.Anditworked!Hewasgreat.

Thatfirsttablereadwasanextraordinary experience.There seemed to be somanygiftedpeopleinoneroom.Onmorethanoneoccasion,Ihadto choke back nervesprovoked by working withsuch an extraordinary groupoftalentedpeople.Ilookedat

Chris Sarandon and thought,This is the guy who wasnominated for an AcademyAward for his portrayal ofLeon,hisveryfirst filmrole,inoneofmy favoriteSidneyLumet movies, Dog DayAfternoon.

I looked over and sawWallyShawn,and I instantlythought not only of hisremarkable performance andwonderful writing in My

Dinner with Andre but hisroles in All That Jazz andManhattan.

CHRISSARANDONThe audition went somethinglikethis:IwalkinthedoorandRob and Bill Goldman wereboth very lovely and friendly.And I said, “I’m sorry, I can’thold myself back. The Knicksdrafted so-and-so!” BillGoldman and I then proceededto talk about the Knicks draft

choice for like the next ten orfifteen minutes. Both of usbeing totallypissedoff.By theend of that conversation, I felttotally comfortable because itwasjustacoupleofNewYorkguys talking about basketball.And then Rob said to me,“Would you mind reading thescene?” So I read, and it wasthe scene in whichHumperdinck asksButtercup ifshe would consider him as analternative to suicide. I thinkthey chose that scene becauseit’s very funny, but I read it

totally straight. And Rob justcracked up because . . . well,first of all he’s the greatestaudience in theworld.And thenext thing I knew, I was on aplane to England to make themovie!

And there was Mandy,whomInowrecognizedfromMiloš Forman’s Ragtime,standing in the cornerchatting with Chris Guest.Bothofthemseriousveterans

ofthebusiness.Itwascrazy!Everyone seemed to have amoreprestigiousrésuméthanI did. Even Fred Savage hadalready managed to cram inan incredible amount oftelevisionworkby the tenderageoften.Thiswas“notyourordinaryHadassahgroup,”asGoldman once famously putit.EventhoughIdidmybesttohide it, Ibegan todevelopaslightinferioritycomplex.

Therewereothersurprisesthat day, like the unexpectedpresence of the screenwriterBuck Henry, wearing histrademark baseball cap andglasses.HehadnothingtodowithThe Princess Bride, buthappenedtobeinLondononother business and wasstaying in the hotel. EventhoughIhadnevermethim,Iobviously knew his work.Herewasaguywhoseacting

and writing career hadalready spanned across threedecades, from creating GetSmart in themid-1960s withMel Brooks to writingscreenplays for TheGraduate, Catch-22, andHeaven Can Wait, amongmanyothers.HewasafriendofRob’sandarepeathostofSaturday Night Live. I guesseveryone felt that if Buckwanted to sit in on the

reading, why the heck not?Clearly he wasn’t there tocommentonthescreenplay—nobody “punches up” BillGoldman. I suppose thethoughtwas that ifwe couldmake Buck Henry laugh,chuckle,orevensmileduringtheread,thenmaybewewereingoodshape.

ROBREINER

IdidsensethatMandywasverynervousaboutdoingthemovie,and I had to talk him off theledge a couple of times. But IneverhadtodothatwithCary.He was, you know, very stiffupper lip, or whatever thoseBritsdo.Hecarrieditoff.

Ironically—given that ourcharacters were at the centerof the story—Robin and Iwere the relative newcomersinthegroup.EvenAndréwas

a far more experiencedperformer than we were.BesidesappearingonTheSixMillion Dollar Man, he hadbeen on a number of TVshows,includingB.J.andtheBear,TheFallGuy, andTheGreatestAmericanHero,andmade an uncreditedappearance as a favor to hisfriend ArnoldSchwarzeneggerinConantheDestroyer. It could also be

said that he was a showmanin every sense of the word.Thiswasaguy,afterall,whoput on a leotard just aboutevery night of his life andstaged a show for thousandsoffans.

UptothatpointIhadonlymadeBritish films, and tablereadings were not reallyfashionable in the UK backthen. A table readingbasically serves a dual

purpose: The first is to giveeveryone a sense of therhythmof the script (there isa difference between readingthe words by yourself andhearingthemrecitedaloudbyall the actors playing theroles), and the second, toallow everyone to meet oneanother in a relaxed, funatmosphere. Basically, it’s aplayday,attheendofwhich,if it’s successful, you can

begin to get a sense of themovieinyourmind’seye.

Afterasuitableamountoftime had passed, Robsignaled to our productionmanager, David Barron, fortheproceedingstobegin.

CHRISSARANDONCary and Robin were justperfection. They were theperfect physical casting forthese two characters. And myrecollection of Carywas that I

thought this guy is a leadingman but he can do so muchmore.Hedoesdialectsandtellsgreat stories. He’s a verytalented guy. And I think wewere all sort of a little smittenwithRobinbecauseshewassolovely. There’s a sense ofmysterywithRobinthatIthinkshe justhasnaturally.AndsoInever for a moment thought,Oh, boy, we’re in for it withthesetwonewcomers.Ijustfeltlikeweallbonded.Plus it’s somuch easier when you’re alltogether and you become

friends on location, becausethen you trust each other. Youknow each other really well.You know what you can getawaywith andwhat’s apropos.Youlearntogetalong.

“Everyone please take aseat,”Davidannounced.

We all took our assignedseats around the table—alittleplacardstatingournamein front of each of us. Robwasseatedat theheadof the

table, to his left was Andy,and to his right, BillGoldman.

“Let’sgoaround the tableand introduce ourselves,”Robannounced.

“I’m Rob Reiner and I’mthedirector.Thankyouallforbeing here. I just wanna sayhowthrilledandexcitedIamto be making this movie. Iknowwe’regonnahavea lotof fun.” He paused, then

gestured to his left and said,“And this is AndyScheinman, our producer,who will also be directingsecond unit. And becauseBilly and Carol aren’t hereyet,IwillbereadingMiracleMax and Andy will bereadingValerie.”

Andy then lifted his handand said, “Hi, I’m Valerie.”Thatgotalaugh.

As Iwould find out later,it is customary at table readsfor each person around thetable to introduce themselvesfollowed by the charactertheyareplaying.IsatnexttoRobin,numberfourorfiveonthe list of introductions. Iremember feeling my handsstart to sweat just thinkingabout it. I folded theminmylap so that no one wouldnotice.When the appropriate

timecame,andmyheartratewas at an all-time high, Iblurted out, “Hi, I’m CaryElwes. And I’m playingWestley.”

Ihadno ideawhether thisreading was a test. Supposethey heard my rendition ofthis character and decided toreplaceme?

Calm,Cary!Trytoremaincalm!Ikepttellingmyself.

The only thing that evenbegan to bring my pulsedown was watching Bill. Ifthere was one person at thetable who appeared to bemorenervousthanme,ithadtohavebeenhim.AsIwouldsoon discover, his colossaltalent notwithstanding,Goldman was a ratherfamouslyanxiouswriter.AsIlooked over at him, heseemed to be withdrawing

intohimself,tryingtobecomesmaller. When it came histurn to introduce himself, heoffered a brief backgroundabout how he came to writethe book, and how the bookbecame a screenplay.How ithadbeena true laborof loveand a storybook gift to hisdaughters. How for years hehad wondered whether itwouldeverbeadapted to thescreen;evenwhetheritcould

be.Hethengrewevenquieter.“Please understand that

this is a very personalproject,” Bill said, his voicefading almost to a whisper.“Normally Idon’t caremuchforanyofmywork.But thisone is different. It is myfavorite thing I’ve everwritten in my life. So if Iappear a little nervous, that’sthe reason.”He then thanked

Rob and all of us for beingthere,andassuredus that theprojectwasingoodhands.

On some deep andprofound level, I think theprospect of The PrincessBride coming to life musthave terrified him. After all,this was clearly the mostcherished accomplishment ofhis artistic life. And I don’tthink many people in theroom knew that it was that

personal to him until hementioned it. In hindsight itmade sense that he formed averyclosebondwithRob.Hedidn’t want just anyonemaking themovie. He reallywantedittobedoneright.

Icanonlyimaginewhatitmust’ve been like for him—sitting there quietly andlistening tootherpeople readthe lines he had someticulously written. To

watch the actors bring hiswords and characters to lifeand hope and pray to Godthat it worked. It wasn’t justthathewanted the film tobesuccessful; I think he wasactually fearful it might fail.I’m sure he was thinking,What if no one laughs at thejokes? Worse yet, what ifthey laugh in places wherethey’re not supposed to?There are so many ways it

could all go wrong. Then,afterthelastactorannouncedthemselves, Rob started toreadfromthescript.

“The Princess Bride byWilliamGoldman...Fadeinon: a video game on acomputerscreen...”

I lookedoveratGoldman.Fromthatpointon,hejustsatquietly, taking it all in. Nodoubt dissecting every worduttered as he silently turned

the pages. Every so oftenhe’d pick up his pencil andscribble something in themargin. I noticed he did it acouple of times while I wasreading. Perhaps he was justmaking a note on thedialogue? I certainly hopedthatwas the reason. Rob didthis as well, but mostly hejustlaughedalot.

I should take a momentbefore continuing to explain

tothoseofyouwhohavenotseen the movie or read thebook what this extraordinarytale ofThe Princess Bride isabout. For those of youwhohave at least a passingacquaintancewiththestoryormaybeevenknowitbyheart,you may skip ahead if youwish. But for those whohaven’t, I hereby offer somebackground. If you don’twant a SPOILER ALERT,

then perhaps you shouldwatch the movie first beforecontinuing, or skip thissection.

So,with sincere apologiestoMr. Goldman, let’s begin.In the movie version of ThePrincess Bride, the fairy taleis told within the frameworkof an elderly grandfatherreading a book to his sickgrandson. The book thegrandfather is reading is

entitled The Princess Bride,and the grandfather promiseshimitisfilledwithactionandadventure. But the boy,recoiling at the first “kissingpart,” thinks he has beenhoodwinked into listening toa love story. Eventually hebecomes enthralled by thetaleandcan’twaittofindoutwhathappenstoWestleyandhis beloved Buttercup.Westley’s first words to her

are “As you wish” (whichreally means “I love you”),and he devotes the entirefilm,andseveralyearsofhislife, to the pursuit ofmakinggoodonthatpromise.

Fearingthatasimplefarmboy will never be able toprovide adequately for hislove, Westley sets off insearch of his fortune,intending to return one dayandwedButtercup.Alas, his

plans are derailed when hisship isattackedby theDreadPirate Roberts, who, aslegend has it, never takesprisoners alive.Severalyearspass andButtercup, althoughstill in love and inmourningforWestley, agrees tomarryPrinceHumperdinck,therichand duplicitous heir to thethroneofFlorin.Andherethestorybecomesthickwithplottwists—double crosses and

triple crosses that makeGoldman’s byzantineMarathon Man seem almostsimplistic by comparison.Prior to the wedding,Buttercupiskidnappedbyanunlikely trioofmen:SpanishswordmasterInigoMontoya,the Sicilian Vizzini, and agiant named Fezzik.Buttercup does not realizethat her captors have beenhired by Humperdinck, who

hopes to blame thekidnapping and eventualkilling of Buttercup on hisrival country of Guilder,thereby instigating a warbetween the two.Humperdinck feigns love forButtercup by setting offwithseveral of his soldiers inpursuit of the captors.At thesametime,amysteriousManinBlackalsogiveschase.

Confusing?Itgetsbetter.

TheManinBlackpursuesthe kidnappers as they scalethe Cliffs of Insanity. HebestsInigoMontoyainaduel(aka “The GreatestSwordfight in ModernTimes”), but chooses only toknockhimout,rather thantokill him. Even moreimprobably, he emergesvictorious in an epic displayof hand-to-hand combatwithFezzik, and then outwits

Vizzini in a deadly battle of“dizzying” intellect, trickingthe arrogant Sicilian intopoisoninghimself.Allofthishappensinthefirsthalfofthemovie and sets the stage forthe reunion of Westley andButtercup.You see, theManinBlack is actuallyWestley,who was in fact takenprisoner by the Dread PirateRoberts. When Robertsreached retirement age,

Westley, figuring thatButtercuphadmovedonwithher life, took his place. Thisepic plot twist is revealed asWestley tumbles down theworld’s longest, steepesthillside, having been shovedbyanangryButtercup.

From that point on, ThePrincessBridebecomesmoreor less a chase film. A veryfunny, unusual chase film.Westley and Buttercup

endure the Fire Swamp,battling its mini firevolcanoes, quicksand, and abattle with R.O.U.S. Theyare, however, eventuallycaptured by Humperdinckand the evil six-fingeredCount Rugen (who, as ithappens,wasalsoresponsibleforthedeathofInigo’sfathermany years earlier; a deathInigo has vowed to avenge).Buttercup barters for

Westley’s life by agreeing tomarry Humperdinck, but theprincebreakshispromiseandinstead of freeing Westley,turnshimovertoRugen,whoimprisons him in the Pit ofDespair and apparentlytortureshimtodeath.(Bytheway, thiswas themoment inthewritingof thebookwhenBillGoldmantoldmelaterheactually broke down andcried, he was so sad about

Westley’s death. He said heloved the character so muchand knew it worked but hewas also concerned that hecouldn’t figure out a way tobring him back. So heshelved the book for awhileuntilhecouldcomeupwithasolution.)

I say “apparently tortureshim to death” because, ofcourse,asanyPrincessBridefan will tell you, Westley is

not really dead. (Note: Thiswas Bill’s brilliant solutionandwhathecallsoneof“thehigh points” of his creativelife.) His supposedly lifelessbodyistakentoMiracleMaxand his wife, Valerie, by hisnew allies, Fezzik and Inigo(who believe the Man inBlack is just the man theyneed in order to successfullystorm Humperdinck’s castleand confront Count Rugen).

Max explains to them thatWestley is only “mostlydead.”Westleyisrevived,thecastle wall is breached, andInigo duels and slays CountRugen, but not beforeuttering, once again, hischaracter’s most famous line—“Hello! My name is InigoMontoya! You killed myfather! Prepare to die!” AsRugenpleads forhis lifeandsays he will give Inigo

whateverhewants ifonlyhewill let theCount live, Inigokillshimwiththeline“Iwantmyfatherback,yousonofabitch!”

Meanwhile, Westley, stillsuffering temporary partialparalysis—asideeffectofthegiant chocolate-coveredmiracle pill prescribed byMiracle Max—avoids a duelwith Humperdinck andsucceeds in tying him to a

chair. While Humperdinckwallows in cowardice,Westley and Buttercup leavethe castle and ride offtriumphantlywithFezzikandInigo. There is a passing ofthe torch (or the blackmask,asitwere,asInigoweighsanoffer to become the newDread Pirate Roberts), aglorious kiss betweenButtercup and Westley, and

thepresumptionofaHappilyEverAfterending.

So that, in an egregiouslytruncated form (again, pleaseforgiveme,Bill), is thestoryof The Princess Bride. Astory we would spend thebetter part of four monthstryingtoputonfilm.

Finallywecametotheendof the reading of the script,andthewholeroomburstintoapplause. I wasn’t sure that

applause was a commonresponse following a readingbut it seemed appropriateunder the circumstances. Byany reasonable standard, theevent felt like a success. Ithad been peppered withgenuine laughter. EvenBuckHenryhadchuckledinalltheright places (Buck didn’tstrikemeasareal laugh-out-loud kinda guy). Reiner wasbeaming. Bill was clapping,

too, and there was a faintsmileonhisface.Fortherestofusinthatroom,Ithinkweallknewthatwewerepartofsomething special. Did wethink the movie wouldbecome an enduring pop-culture phenomenon? Ofcourse not. But did we feelinvolved in something trulyunique? Definitely. Formyself I just felt enormouslygrateful to be there. To be

involved in a projectwith somany gifted people, not tomention getting to be in afilmwrittenby the legendaryWilliam Goldman anddirected by the remarkableRob Reiner. Life is good, Ithought.

CHRISGUESTHavingreaddozensanddozensofscripts,ormore,Iknowthereare only a handful of people

thatIcanliterallyputinaclassofgreatscreenwriters.AndBillGoldman is certainly one ofthem. It’sbrilliantwriting.Thedialogue is brilliant, thedescriptions are brilliant. It’sfunnyoneverylevel.Andthereare a lot of really well-drawncharacters. From an actor’sstandpoint, you couldn’tpossibly ask for more. It’s adreamtoreadagreatscriptandyou’re lucky if that happensonce in your life. This was ararethingwhereyoutrustedthewordsthatyouhadtosay.

MANDYPATINKINYouknow, Iwasneveragreatmovie connoisseur. I certainlysaw Butch Cassidy and theSundance Kid, but I didn’tknow who Bill Goldman wasreally.I justreadthescriptandthought,This isgreat.SoIhadno outside influences. I justknew I had read somethingwonderful. Knowing Goldmannow,ofcourse,I’dthink,Well,obviouslyit’sgoingtobegreat.

Afterward we made ourway to a nearby restaurantwhere they had set up lunchoutside on a back patio. Iremember finding myselfsitting next to Robin again.What quickly becameapparent about her, besideshersenseofhumor,washowcoolshewas.Shecouldhangwith the guys. She told meabout growing up in SanDiego. How she had always

wanted to be a dancer, thendonesomemodelingandkindoffellintoacting.She’dbeena leading player on SantaBarbara for a couple ofyears, and she had only oneprevious movie role, playinga homeless drug addict inHollywoodViceSquad.

I had not yet done anytelevision and rememberbeing fascinated by what itwaslikeforherworkingona

soap. She explained that shehad to learn anywhere fromten to twenty pages ofdialogueaday,workingwithup to three camerassimultaneously, with adifferent director eachepisode. That it moved veryfast,whichforcedhertothinkonherfeetasanactor.Ialsorememberhertellingmehowlucky she felt that the showlet her out of her contract to

do the movie, as normallythey didn’t do that. I askedherhowsheknewhowtodoaBritish accent sowell. Shethen proceeded to tell meabout her British stepfatherwho had introduced her toMontyPythonatanearlyage.

An intelligent andbeautiful young woman wholoves Monty Python playingopposite me as Buttercup?Does it getmuch better than

that?AndlookingaroundthetableatthetalentIwasabouttoworkwith,Ifeltblessedtohave been given thisincredibleopportunity.

For most of us the dayended relatively early. Mostof us except for André, thatis, who, we discovered later,ended up spending the nightat the hotel even though hewasn’t staying there. André,as I statedearlier,wasnot at

his physical peak.Hewas infactsuffering.Allthoseyearsof toting around so muchweighthad lefthimwith thisverypainfulcondition,whichhadonlybeenexacerbated inthe ring. I remember himtelling me his opponentsrarely held back whenjumping up and downon hisback or smashing metalchairs on his head, thinkingthat since he was a giant he

couldtakeit.Ifoundoutfromhisfriendsmuchlateronthathis classic one-piece blackwrestling outfit wasspecifically designed to hideabackbrace.

Andréwasdue tohaveanoperation after he wrappedthemovie.But until then theonlymedicationhecouldtaketo deal with the pain wasalcohol. Now, if you thinkAndré could eat, you should

have seen him drink. It waslegendary. Word had it thatevenbeforehedevelopedtheinjury he could drink ahundred beers in one sitting.According to some estimateshis average dailyconsumptionofalcoholwasacase of beer, three bottles ofwine, anda coupleofbottlesof brandy. But what Iwitnessed was somethingquitedifferent.Atmealtimes,

besidestheincredibleamountof food he ate, I noticed thatrather than using a regularglass, André drank from abeer pitcher, which looked alot like a regular glass in hishands anyway. In reality itwas forty ounces of alcohol,which he nicknamed “TheAmerican”—usually somecombinationof hard and softliquor and whatever else hefelt like mixing it with that

day. I should point out thatnotoncedidInoticeanysignof the alcohol affecting him,which made sense given hissize.So,kids,don’ttrythisathome or you’ll most likelyendupinthehospital!

Andréwithourproducer,AndyScheinman

ANDYSCHEINMANOnedayhecametoworkandIsaid,“Howareyoudoingtoday,André?”Hegoes, “Oh,not toogood,boss.”Isay,“What’s thematter?” He says, “I had atoughnightlastnight.”SoIaskhim what happened, and hesays, “I drank three bottles ofcognac and twelve bottles ofwine.”And I don’t even knowhowtorespond,soIjustrepeat

the numbers back to him:“Excuseme?Twelvebottlesofwine?Threebottlesofcognac?My goodness, André! Didn’tyou get sick?” He just smilesand says, “No, no . . . I got alittle tipsy, though.” Tipsy . . .on fifteen bottles of alcohol. Icouldn’tbelieveit!

ROBINWRIGHTI remembergoingtodinner thefirst time with him and heorderedfourorfiveentrees.I’mnot kidding. Three or fourappetizers, a couple baskets of

bread, and then he’s like, I’mready for seconds. And thendessert. He was a bottomlesspit. I think he went through acase of wine, and he wasn’teventipsy.

Itturnsoutthatsamenightafter the read-through Andrédecided he would samplesome of the finest vintageaperitifs and liqueurs fromthe cellars of the prestigioushotel and ended up closing

thebar.When itcame to lastcall he got up to leave butnever made it to the frontdoor,insteadpassingoutcoldinthelobby.Thenightporterwas called, who in turnsummoned security, who inturn rang engineering.Manpower was apparentlyneeded. Yet, despite theirvaliant efforts, there wassimply no waking or evenslightly budging what could

only be described as anunconscious 500-poundGulliver spread out on theirveryornatecarpet.Ameetingwas held and the wisedecision was made to leavehimthere.Itwaseitherthatorcallthepolice,butsomehowIdon’t think managementwantedthepublicity.

For safety purposes, bothto protect him and anypassersby, they decided to

place a small velvet ropebarrier around André, whowas by now snoring loudlyenough to shake the lobbywalls. The hope was that hewould wake up on his ownsoon enough. But it was notto be as soon as they hadhoped.

The housekeepers whoarrived the next morning tovacuum had no idea what todowiththemassive,sleeping

giant blocking their path andwere literally terrified totouch him. Then, sometimearound 10:00 a.m., Andrébegan to stir and eventuallyawoke to the sounds ofvacuum cleaners and thehorrified looks of staff andguests alike.Hewasunfazedbyallthis.Hegottohisfeet,straightened his clothes andhair a little, and headedstraight for the front door—

his original objective. A cabwas called by the startleddoorman but the driver tookonelookatAndréandrefusedtotakehim.FinallyaminivanwassentforandAndrémadeit home safely. Needless tosay, he is now part of theestablishment’slore.

“ENGARDE!”

I was not a particularlynoteworthy athlete growingup. Like most otherschoolboys in the UK, I

played soccer, rugby, andcricket,butnotwell.Theonlysport I excelled inwas long-distance running. And eventhough I generally tried tostay active physically, myinterests from an early agefocusedmoreontheartsthanathletics.Soitwaswithsometrepidation that I began tofully consider therequirementsofthepartIhadbeenassignedtoplay.

Itwasn’tjustabouthavingthe right “look” or even thepropersenseofcomictiming.There was a specificphysicalitytotheroleaswell.And while I was youngenough,fairlyfitenough,andperhaps even foolish enoughtothinkIcouldhandlealmostanythingthrownmyway,thereality of the situation wassomethingquitedifferent.

IknewIcouldrunthroughFire Swamps, wrestleRodentsofUnusualSize,andmaybeevenfightagiant.Butwhen it came to swordfighting?Ihavetoadmit thatI simply had no idea of thecomplexityofthepreparationthat would be required toperformitadequately.Andtobehonest, simply“adequate”was not going to cut it. Notforascenethatwasdescribed

by Goldman himself in thescreenplay as the GreatestSwordfightinModernTimes.Goldman had apparentlyspent months researchingsword fighting, and all thosereferences tocertaindefensesand styles were all based oncompletely accuratesixteenth- and seventeenth-century techniques bylegendary swordsmen. Youcanstillpurchasesomeofthe

fencing manuals written bythem online. Books like TheAcademyoftheSword(1630)bytheFlemishmasterGerardThibault d’Anvers. OrGreatRepresentationoftheArtandUse of Fencing, written bythe Italian maestro RidolfoCapo Ferro and dating backto 1610. And even Treatiseon the Science of Arms withPhilosophical Dialogue byhis fellow compatriot—the

noted fencer, engineer,mathematician, and architectof the Renaissance—CamilloAgrippa,publishedin1553.

Back then I knew whononeof thesepeoplewereorindeed very much aboutsword fighting at all. I hadconfessed as much to bothRob and Andy early in theprocess.AndI toldthemthateventhoughIhadtakensomeminor fencing lessons at

acting school, it had beendetermined bymy tutors thatthis was not something theythought Iwould everbe ableto master. I wasn’t just anovice;Iwasclueless.

“Don’t worry,” Robinsisted. “You’ll be trainingwiththebest.It’llbefun!”

Training,withthebest!It always sounds fun in

conversation. But thepractical reality is something

quite different. More like,“Don’t worry, you’ll betrainingwith the best Sherpato help you climb Everest!”or “Don’t worry, you’ll betraining with the greatesthuman cannonball before wefire you out of the cannon.”I’d long admired seriousathletes, and I always try totreat a challenge as anopportunity.AndthenIbegantothink,Waitaminute!How

hard could it really be? I’dseen plenty of Errol Flynnand Douglas Fairbanksmovies. My developing,inane theorywas that if theycould do it, so could I. Itdidn’t seem all that difficult.A few quick thrusts, somefancy footwork. More likedancingthancombat.

I could handle it, Ithought.Noproblem.

Iwas,ofcourse,somewhatdeluded.

ROBREINERBecause the swordfight isdescribed as the greatestswordfight inmodernhistory, Iwantedtomakegoodonthat.Iwanted it to be great and Iwanted Cary andMandy to beable todo it. Iknew that inallthe old Errol Flynn movies,CaptainBloodandRobinHoodandstuff,heonlydidhisswordfightingintheclose-ups;forthe

wide shots they would alwaysget stunt people to do it, andgreat swordsmen. As a matterof fact, one of the swordsmenthat we used, Bob Anderson,doubled for Flynn. He was anOlympic fencer, and he andPeter Diamond were the twoguys who constructed thisfencingsequence.

OnthesamedaythatIfirstvisited the production officesat Shepperton Studios, I was

told Iwould be contacted byone of the two gentlemenwho would be in charge ofthe fight training andcoordinating stunts for thefilm.TheirnameswerePeterDiamondandBobAnderson.It shames me somewhat toadmit this now, but I hadneverheardofeitherofthesetwomenwhenI received themessage that day. I reasonedcorrectlythatRobknewwhat

hewasdoingandwouldonlyassignsuchanimportanttasktoseriouslyqualifiedpeople.

That,as it turnedout,wasanunderstatement.

PeterDiamondwasagoodthree decades into what isgenerally regarded as one ofthemostlegendarycareersofany stuntman or stuntcoordinator inboth televisionand film. As a sword-trainerhe had worked with both

Errol Flynn and BurtLancaster. And in thepreviousdecadealone,hehadservedasstuntcoordinatorontheoriginalStarWarstrilogy.For you “Wookieepedias”reading this, the TuskenRaider that surprises youngLuke Skywalker on theTatooine cliff top with thathorrifying scream? That wasPeter. He had also been thestuntarrangerandcoordinator

on movies like From RussiaWith Love, Raiders of theLost Ark, and Highlander.Classically trained at theRoyal Academy of DramaticArts,Peterhadalsoappearedin front of the camera, notonly as a stuntman butsometimes as an actor aswell. That’s him as theGerman soldier Indy noticesin his side mirror climbingalong the side of the eighty-

mile-an-hour speeding truckwithoutaharness inRaiders.Peter logged more than athousand credits beforepassing away in 2004, at theage of seventy-five. He wasvibrant and activelyemployed until the last yearofhislife.

Bob Anderson was also anative of England and alsosomethingofanationalhero,having served in the Royal

MarinesduringWorldWarIIand as a representative ofGreat Britain on the fencingteam in the 1952 SummerOlympics in Helsinki. Helater became president of theBritish Academy of Fencingand a coach for the Britishnational team. His expertiseas a swordsman eventuallytook him to Hollywood,where he became a sought-after stuntman and fight

coordinator. The man’srésumé was breathtaking,from coaching Errol Flynnlike Peter in the 1950s tochoreographing fight scenesforseveralJamesBondfilmsin the 1960s, and workingalongside Peter in FromRussia With Love and (StarWarrior alert) on the StarWars trilogy. That is Bobusing the dark side of theForce as Vader in all the

light-saber sequences. Bobalsopassedaway, in2012,attheageofninety,butworkeduntil the last, serving as“sword master” for PeterJackson’s Lord of the Ringstrilogy.

TherewasnoGooglebackthen, and in hindsight, IalmostthinkitwasbetterthatI was blissfully unaware ofthe incredible reputations ofthe two men with whom I

would be training. Had Iknownoftheirbackgrounds,Imight have been completelyintimidated.ButIwascuriousabout the man I would bedueling with. Over drinksafterthefirsttableread,IhadstartedtogettoknowMandya little. At some point theconversation naturally turnedto the subject of swordfighting and the preparationwe’d both be expected to

endure prior to filming. Icasually asked him if he hadanyexperiencewithfencing.

MANDYPATINKINGoldman wrote in theintroduction to my characterthat he is “theworld’s greatestsword fighter,” and I figured,that’s what I’ve got to learnhowtodo.SoIimmediatelygotin touch with HenryHarutunian, who was the Yalefencing coach, and we worked

together for two months. Hetaughtmethebasicsoffencing.Iwasarighty,andhetaughtmefirst how to fencewithmy lefthand;weworkedtheleftbeforetheright,andIactuallybecameabetter left-handedfencer thanaright-handedfencer.

Hesortof frowneda little—inmuchthesamewaythatInigo Montoya might havedone—andsaid,“Notreally.”

Ibreatheda sighof relief.“NeitherhaveI,really.Justalittle at acting school. But Idon’t remember any of it,” Itoldhim.

Ifiguredwe’dbegoinginraw, the two of us. It wasonlylateronthatIdiscoveredthat he had been training fortwo months in the US andwas thus already way aheadofmeintheprocess.

Lookingback,Idobelievehewassizingmeupfromthemoment we shook hands,trying to determine if I wassomeone he could “beat.”That’s the funny thing aboutacting:itcanbecollegialandcollaborative, but it can alsobe intensely competitive. Ahealthy competition betweenactorsisneverabadthing.Asactorsyouworktogether,butyou also try to push each

other...bringoutthebestineach other. I knew I wouldnotonlyhavetobringmyA-gameasanactoronthisfilmbut I also had to be on mytoesintheduelwiththisguy.Wewould,afterall,beusingswords on the day, not theprotectedrapierswewouldbepracticingwith.

ROBREINER

I’m sure there was a sense ofcompetition between Cary andMandy, and I think that wasprobablyhealthy.Thisisadueltothedeath,supposedly,andsoit is a competition. I think thatwasthere,forsure.

MANDYPATINKINItwas 1986.My father died in1972. I read that script and Iwanted to play Inigo becausemymindimmediatelywent,IfIcan get that six-fingered man,thenI’llhavemyfatherback,inmy imaginary world. He’ll be

aliveinmyimagination.Sothatwas it for me. It was like, I’llbecome the greatest swordfighter,andmyrewardwillnotbe to be in this movie thatended up being what it’sbecome toall thesepeople;myreward will be that my fatherwillcomeback.

Having gotten to knowMandyabit, Icansafelysaywith some assurance thatInigo Montoya was indeed

the perfect role for him; hewas born to play it. LikeInigo,Mandywas passionateand ambitious, if not a littlecompetitive. Even today,whenyouwatchhimperform,you can tell that here is anactorwhostillhassplintersinhis feet from all the yearstreading the boards onBroadway. That is where hehoned his confidence andprofessionalism—from

performing live on a stageliterally thousands of times.And there’s no question thatsome of the best actors havehoned their skills in thetheater. Mandy certainly fellintothatcategory.

By the time I met him,he’dalreadybeenestablishedas a uniquely versatileperformer,having starrednotonly in Ragtime but also inYentl (for which he was

nominated for a GoldenGlobe).Hehadalso receivedaTonyAwardforhis roleasChe Guevara in AndrewLloyd Webber’s Evita in1979.Youdon’tbuildabodyof work like that without asignificant degree of talentand ambition. Mandy hadboth in abundance. Lookingback, it’s hard to imagineanyone else playing InigoMontoya. He seized the role

and made it his own,embracing it with a zeal andintensity that would havemade the Montoya familyproud.

ROBREINERMandyisagreatactor,butyouknow,everyactorisinsecure.Ididn’tseeCary’sinsecuritybuthe obviously had it. I don’tknow any actor that isn’tinsecure.WithMandy, though,at that timehewould carry his

insecurities on his sleeve. Itwould be out there. He haddone Evita and Sunday in theParkwithGeorge,hehadwonaTony,andhe’sabrilliantactor,extremely talented. But he’dworkedonHeartburn,andtheyreplaced him with JackNicholson and he was allworriedthathewasn’tgoingtodowell inThe Princess Bride.Hewanted it tobeperfect, andafter one of the first days ofshooting, Iwent into the trailerwith him and I said, “Mandy,youdon’t have to do anything.

You are so talented you don’thavetotry;justgetoutofyourown way. You’ve got greatwords to say, you’re a brilliantactor, and you just let themcome out and you’re going tobegreat.”Andfromthenonhewascool.

So I had a formidable foein Inigo. That much wasobvious the moment webegantrainingfortheduelingsequence,whichforusbegan

almostimmediately.Theverynext morning after the tablereading,Igotaveryearlycallfromoneofthetrainers.

“Good morning, Cary.ThisisPeterDiamond,”camethe voice on the other end.“Are you ready to do someswordfighting?”

“Absolutely,” I saidenthusiastically, if a littlegroggily.

“I have to ask before westart . . . have you had anytraining?”

I shared once again aboutmy amateur skills honed atactingschool.

“Doyourememberanyofit?”

“Um...no.Notreally.”“Right.That’snoproblem.

Probably better, actually,”cametheresponse.

MANDYPATINKINI remember Rob saying to methat these guys, meaning thecharacters in the film, areholding poker hands, but theyjust kind of hide it. Then heheld up an imaginary hand ofcards at the table, and sort ofturned his hand around asthoughhewashiding thecardsin his pocket, and he said,“Every now and then, one ofthese guys shows his cards.”And I remember that image ofhiding your hand, and letting

oneofthecardspeekouteverynowandthen,meaningasmile,or something that you werehiding. The sense of humoraboutit,alittlebitoftongue-in-cheek-ness.

“WhatdoIneedtobring?”Iinquired.

“Sweats, sneakers, and aT-shirt,”hesaid.

“That’sit?Nothingelse?”“No,justbereadytowork.

We’llbreakforaquicklunch,

but basically we’re going tobe training fromnine to five,fivedaysaweek.”

I thought about that for amoment. Eight hours a day?That meant forty hours aweek.

“Seriously?” I asked halfjokingly.

There was a pause on theotherendoftheline.

“Oh,yes,Cary.We’vegota lot of work to do,” he

replied in a no-nonsensemanner. “We start tomorrowbright and early. Nine a.m.sharp.”

He then gave me thedetails of where to meet. Ijotted it down on a notepad,wesaidourgood-byes,andIhung up the phone. I had noidea what to expect. I stillhadn’tfiguredoutthatheandBob Anderson were notmerely stuntmen but the

finest sword-trainersavailable. Nor had I fullygrasped the concept of aforty-hourworkweekdevotedentirely to becomingproficient in an athleticendeavor.Toput itmildly, itwas a little more than I hadbargainedfor.

The next day I arrivedpromptly at 9:00 a.m., asrequested, at a dance studiotheproductionhadrentedfor

usoffOxfordStreet inSoho.AsIwalkedthroughthedoor,I immediately noticed thatMandy was already there,sword in hand, his breathinglabored and his faceglistening with sweat; it wasobvious he’d been there forsometime.

Damnyou,Inigo!I introduced myself to

Peter andBob. In all candor,my first thought was, Wow!

Theyreallypickedsomeold-timers to work with us. Butboy, was I wrong. At fivefootsix,Petermayhavebeena short, barrel-chested manwith thick arms, big hands,rosy cheeks, and an easy,jovialsmile;butatfifty-sevenhe was still in peak physicalcondition and tough as nails,too. He had an air ofathleticism and physicality.You just knew that he could

takecareofhimselfinalmostanysituationandcouldeasilydisarm anybody within ananosecond,withorwithoutaweapon in his hand. I oncesaw him demonstrate it in abar, all the while holding abeer in one hand withoutspillingadrop.

By contrast physically,Bob was tall and lithe,perhaps six feet, and equallyimpressive, but in a different

sort of way. He had thestature thatyou’dexpect inafencer. And, even at the ageof sixty-four, he was just aslight onhis feet asPeter andas insanely flexible andproficientwith a blade. Bothwerefitterthanmostmenlessthan half their ages. Whichwas precisely mydemographic.

Nervousmuch?

Bob proceeded to explainto Mandy and me that themost efficient use of his andPeter’stimewouldbetosplittheir tutorial efforts: I wouldbeworkingwithPeter,whileMandy would be workingwithhim.Hethenaskedmeafew basic questions aboutfencing and swordsmanship,none of which I couldanswer. Mandy, it turns out,could, having already started

histrainingintheUS.Damnyouagain,Inigo!“Okay,” Peter said. “Both

ofyou,pickupasword.Firstthings first. You need toknow how to hold itproperly.”

MANDYPATINKINI went to London and beganworking with Bob Anderson,training religiously with himevery day. Cary and I were indifferent scenes often, so he

would be filming and I wouldbe free to train with Bob foreight to ten hours a day, andthen I would be filming andCary would be free to traineight to ten hours a day.We’dmeeteachotheratlunchtimetopractice together. And we didthis for four months of thefilming, and all the fencingsequences for the most partwere placed toward the end ofthe movie so that we wouldhave the optimum amount oftimetoprepare.

We did as instructed. Ilooked out of the corner ofmy eye at Mandy, whoclearly appeared far morecomfortablethanIdid.

“Like this,” Peter said,demonstrating to both of us,but lookingatme.“ ‘Not tootightly, not too lightly’ is thephrasetoremember.”

He adjusted my grip. Thesword, a light rapier, felt

foreign in my hand, andsurprisinglyawkward.

“Think of it like you’reholdingabirdinyourhand,”Petersaid.“Ifyouholdittootightly,you’llstrangleit.Tooloosely, and it’ll fly away.”Then,asiftoprovehispoint,Peter tappedmyswordfasterthan lightning with his blade—sofastIbarelysawitmove—causingittofalloutofmy

hand and land with a clatteronthefloor.

“See?” he said with asmile.

“Yes.”Theanswer,ofcourse,was

really “No.” I hadn’t evenseen it coming. I wasinstantly transfixed by theskill and expertise of theseguys. I only hoped that Icould live up to theirexpectations.

Peter then adjustedMandy’s grip, ever soslightly.

“Ah, yes,” he said.“You’vedonealittleofthis,Isee.”

Mandy sort of shrugged.No big deal for him. Thenovice in the room hadalreadybeenspotted.

Andthenwewenttowork.The first daywas devoted tothe most basic body

mechanics, starting with theproperstance.Masterywasn’treally the goal—therewasn’tenough time for that.Rather,it would have to be theillusion of mastery, and thatcould only be achieved byadhering to the fundamentalsof fencing: how to stand,wheretoplaceyourarmsandfeet. How to hold your freehand, not clenched butrelaxed (something I had a

hard time perfecting). Aprofessional fencer, theyexplained, could watch asword-fighting sequence onfilm and tell immediately ifthe actors involved werecomplete amateurs. Theeasiesttospotwerewhentheactors or stuntmen could beseen just hitting the swordsbackandforth,overandoverin the samemanner, thewaykidsdowithsticks.

They explained that theyhad requested that thefighting sequences be filmedlate in the production,allowing us a few weeks ofintensedailytraininginprep,followedbya fewmonthsoftraining while on location.Bob then pointed out thatalthough it wasn’t possibleforeitherofus tobecomeanOlympic-caliberfencerinthatamount of time, maybe with

thehelpandguidanceofbothhimself and Peter, we mightjust be capable of fooling allbut the most discerning ofviewers. Their reputationswereatstakeaswell,afterall,hepointedout.

Learning the posture offencing is rather likecalisthenics, they explained.Youhavetohaveverystronglegs, and inparticular thighs,asit’syourthighsyouhaveto

train to get the stancecorrectly. If you don’t, thenall of it just turns to mush,Peter said. You have to reston your haunches, with yourknees slightly bent at alltimes but with your backstraight and your legs spreadapart—one foot facing onewayandtheotherfootfacingtheother—sothatyou’reableto go backward and forwardat any given time. Almost

likeacrab.Andit’sfarmorestiff and uncomfortable thanyoumightimagine.

Bynoonon thefirstdayIwassilentlyscreaming inmyhead for a lunch break, andnotbecauseIwasparticularlyhungry but because themuscles in my very core,ones I didn’t even know Ipossessed,throbbedinagony.Iwascovered in sweat inno

time; Mandy only slightlylessso.

“Keepyourlefthandupinthe air,” Peter said, referringtomy free hand. “Your rightwrist has to be relaxed andfree. You should never betense. If you feel tense, youwilllooktense.”

I listened carefully andtried to follow everydirection, but as any athletecan tell you, things begin to

breakdownwhenthemindiswilling but the body unable.My abdominal muscles criedout in pain, as if I’d done athousand sit-ups. My calvesand thighsburnedas if Ihadclimbed a hundred stairs.“Back and forth, back andforth,” Peter instructed. Iscurried across the room,shuffling awkwardly fromone wall to the other. Theidea was simply to become

acquaintedwiththemotion.Iwas told not to worry aboutthe sword so much at thispoint,tojustholditaloftandnot even think about doinganythingwithitfornow—allofthatwouldcomelater.Theweapon, they explained,would eventually become anextension of my arm. Ofcourse, merely holding theswordforthatamountoftimewasexhausting.Everycouple

minutes Peter would tell metostopandadjustmygriporstance.Thenwe’ddoitsomemore.

Later that afternoon, wewere treated to a ratherextraordinarylittleshow.

“We’regoingtoshowyouwhat fencing really lookslike,”Bobsaid.MandyandIwere ordered to the side ofthestudiowhileheandPetertook positions opposite one

another and began to duel. Itwas an incredible sight tobehold! They moved atlightning speed.And the factthattheywaiteduntilwewereboth tired and feeling utterlyinept was a stroke ofprofessorial genius, as itgreatly enhanced ourappreciation for the skill anddexterity on display. Hadtheir demonstration come atthe beginning of the day,

beforeI’dhadanopportunityto fumble around a bit withthe weaponry, I might nothavefullyappreciatedwhat Iwas seeing. But now, whilemymuscleswere aching andmy frustration building, Icouldnotpossiblyhavebeenmoreimpressed.

I looked at Mandy. Helookedbackandsmiled.Veryquietly, I mouthed, “Wow!”Henoddedinagreement.

I thinkwemayhave evenapplauded when theyfinished. Bob then explainedthat what we had justwitnessedwas a finely tunedversion of the first of manysequences they hoped toteachus.

The first of many? Howmany?

“Here’s what we’re goingto do,” Bob said, looking atme.“Afterwetrainyoufora

while, we’re going to flip itaround and I’ll teach youMandy’smoves.”

Hmmmmmmm.Okay...“ThenPeterisgoingtogo

teach Mandy all of yourmoves. You are basicallygoing to learn each other’smoves, as well, so there canbenoroomforerror.”

Another pause. A hardlook in the eye, teacher tostudent.

“Allclear?”Again I looked atMandy.

Wenoddedinunison.The amount of creative

freedom that had been givento Bob and Peter was bothremarkableandlogical.Apartfrom the statement byGoldman that this was to bethe Greatest Swordfight inModern Times, and thereferences to the periodtechniques, there was in fact

limited stage direction in hisscript while Westley andInigo clamber up and downrocks and engage in wittyrepartee.

With those six words astheir guiding principle (andkeeping in mind the twist atthe middle where bothcombatants reveal that theyhad been dueling with theirweakerhands),PeterandBobhad virtually free rein to

choreograph a fight thatwould hopefully beremembered as one of thebest ever put on the silverscreen.

Fortunately, they weremorethanuptothetask.

Over lunch that day wechattedaboutmoviesand therole of stuntmen and stuntcoordinators. That was whenMandy and I began to learnoftheirpastworkonfilmand

TV.AsBobandPeterrelatedtales of working with ErrolFlynn, Burt Lancaster, SeanConnery,AlecGuinness, andHarrison Ford, ourenthusiasm and respect grewimmeasurably.

Bobthenexplainedthat inorder for us to succeed inpulling off the sequence, theduel had to be convincingfrom both an aesthetic andathleticstandpoint.Inshort,it

hadtolookliketherealdeal.He further pointed out thatRob’s goal from the verybeginningwastofilmascenein which the actorsthemselvesappeared ineveryframeofthefight,asopposedto using stunt doubles. Thiswas ambitious; after all, asPeter pointed out, evenLancaster, Flynn, andFairbanksonoccasion let the

real fencing masters do themostchallengingwork.

Gulpagain!They both suggested we

do homework by watchingsome of the bestswashbuckling moviesHollywood had produced,suchasTheBlackPirate,TheAdventures of Robin Hood,The Sea Hawk, etc., so thatwe could study them and

absorb the artistry andathleticism.

“And all the while,remember,we’regoing todoitevenbetter.We’regoingtocreate the swordfight to endall swordfights,” Bob statedconfidently.

“Andasweteachyouhowtofight,aswegothroughthetraining, you’ll begin to seehow they broke down their

sequences in those films,”Peterexplained.

And he was absolutelyright.Watching one of thesemoviespriortotrainingwasacompletely differentexperience from watchingafter we’d begun workingwith Peter and Bob. I couldactually see how and whatthey had practiced. I couldsee where they mademistakesandwhere they sort

of flubbed part of the fight.Our assignment was to findthesemistakesandpointthemouttoourinstructors.

After lunch we went intoseparatestudios,aswewoulddo for the next few weeksbefore going on location. Ipracticed with Peter andMandywithBob. Itwas trialand error, starting andstopping each time I made amistake (which was

frequently). Itwasrather likedoing a movie scene: if youmakeamistake,youstopandgo back to the beginning.AndPetermademedoitoverandover,untilIgotitright.Itwas a matter of repetition,likestudyinglinesinascript.Therewerenoshortcuts.Onejusthadtokeepworkingatituntilitbecamesecondnature.

Scripted fighting is verymuch like the choreography

of a dance: two partnersworkingwitheachotherinanattempt to create somethingperfectly synchronized. In ascriptedfight,though,thereisthe added element ofcompetition. The audience issupposed to believe that thetwo combatants are reallytrying to hurt each other. Tothat end, the actors mustlegitimately “fight,” all the

whileknowinghowthebattlewillend.

Thereareafewverybasic,universal moves, andMandyand I had to learn these firstbefore doing anything else.The first of these wasessentially how to defendyourself. For example, todeflectahit,wehad to thinkofourswordsasanextensionof our hands. So if I’mlooking at my “opponent,”

and I’ve got my fist holdingthesworddirectly in frontofmy face, and my opponenttriestostriketherightsideofmy head as a swipe, as if tocut my neck sideways, mydeflective maneuver is tomovemy arm to the right asthe swipe approaches. Mysword is then up andeffectively blocks myopponent’s blade. It looksrather dramatic and

potentially lethal, but reallyall I’ve done is move mysword a few inches to oneside,inanticipationofwhatIknowiscoming,muchasyouwould move your arm orhandifsomeonewastryingtohit you from that angle. Onthe other hand, if myopponenttriestocutmythighor stomach, instead ofmoving my fist straight upandtotheright,Ijustflipthe

sword downward and do thesame thing. If he tries to cutmy left flank, I move to theleft, and so on. Obviously,this takes some coordinationto avoid accident or injury,but with time and practice,they assured us, it wouldbecome routine. Economy ofmovementisparamount,theysaid. It should all lookmoredangerousanddifficultthanitreallyis.

MANDYPATINKINI recently did a vaudevilleshow,andthereisalanguagetothat, as there is in varioussports, and dance, etc. If I dothisstep, thenyoudothatstep.Or we do it together, and youjust learn that language. Ourswordfight was the same way.You make certain movestoward me, and there are avarietyofresponsesIcanmake.Butit’slimited.It’snotinfinite.

And sowe practiced eachone of these maneuversmaybehundredsoftimesthatveryfirstday.

“Start working yourwrist,” Peter said after awhile.“Remember:befluid.”

“There is something Zen-like about fencing,” he said.“Kind of like letting theswordalmostguideyou.”

“Youmean,like‘usingtheForce’?” I asked, making a

reference tohisworkon thatfilm.

“If you like, yes,” camethequickresponse.

“And always watch youropponent’s eyes,” he said.“Don’t look at his sword. Ifyou watch his sword, you’llmakeamistake.Ifyouwatchhis eyes, however, you willknowwhathisnextmaneuveris going to be, as he willtelegraph it.” All I could

thinkofwasBruceLee’slinefromEnter theDragonwhenhe slaps his student on thehead with the warning,“Never take your eyes offyouropponent.”

I found it interesting thatwe did not wear protectivegear of any sort while wewere training: no gloves orchest protectors or facemasks. Yes, the tips of ourbladeswerecovered,butthey

were still quite capable ofgouging an eye from itssocket or injuring you insome fashion if wieldedrecklessly.Todrivethatpointhome, Peter at one pointwhipped me across the ribcagewithhisrapier.

I winced, stifling a littlewhimper.

“Did you feel that?” heasked, although I think heknewtheanswer.

“Alittle,”Ilied.“Good,” he said.

“Rememberthat.That’swhatcan happen if you are notpayingattention.”

I felt like Grasshopper inthe TV series Kung Fu. Hewasright, thiswasveryZen-liketraining.Alljokingaside,Peter and Bob were intenseandseriousabout theirwork.It was clear they weren’tmessingaround.Theywanted

tomake sure thatwe got thepoint,sotospeak.

As the firstdaycame toaclose,withMandyandIboththoroughly exhausted by thispoint, our trainers thenofferedwhat amounted to anhonestassessment.

“Obviously the keymoment in the sequence,”Bob said, “iswhenyou haveto change from being right-handed to left-handed.To be

perfectly honest, we’re notsurethatwecanteachyoutobe left-hand-proficient intime.We just wanted you toknowthat.We’vetoldthattothe producers and to Rob.You can’t teach someone tofight left-handed in thisshorta space of time and havethembetotallyprofessional.”

Hestopped,lookedoveratPeter.

“Sowewillprobablyhaveto have stunt doublesstandingbyifneedbe.Justincase.”

In retrospect, I wonder ifthis was the complete truth,ormerelyamotivationalployontheirpart.Certainlyithadthe latter effect, particularlyonMandy, who said, almostwithout hesitation, “Don’tworry.We’llgetit.”

The roomwas quiet for amoment. Mandy looked atme.WhatwasIgoingtodo?Did I think a stunt doublemight be necessary to stage“the Greatest Swordfight inModernTimes”?Ofcourseitoccurred to me that it mightnot be a bad idea after Bobhadsuggestedit.WasIgoingto admit that now, secondsafterMandyhadpromisednosuch assistance was

necessary?Nofriggingway.“Sure,”Isaid.“Wecando

it.”That night, as I shuffled

around my room on myaching joints and muscles, Iwondered what I’d gottenmyself into. I could barelyfight with my right hand!How the heck was I evergoing to learn how to do all

this with my left? I couldbarelywalkorliftanything.

The second day oftraining, less than twelvehourslater,wasevenworse.Ispent the whole morningresting on my haunches,tryingtoignoretheburninginmylegs.

“Toldyouyoumightbeabit stiff,” Peter said with asmile.

About an hour intotraining, I had stoppedfocusing on the stiffness andhadmovedontoseveredoubtand dread. Not dread as inDread Pirate Roberts—butrealdread!Fearwascreepingin.

CouldIreallydothis?Even though I had the

finest teachers in the world,and a costar whoseunwavering commitment

pushed me to a level Ithought unattainable, I beganto realize that the art offencingisexponentiallymoredifficult to master than itappearstobe.Andifyouarecompletely new to this, evenif you’re training severalhoursadaytoachieveatleastthe appearance ofproficiency, it’s almostimpossible.Idon’tcareifyouare the fittest guy on the

planet with the dexterity ofYoda.

ImaybemanythingsbutIamcertainlynotaquitter.SoIkeptgoingtothestudio,dayafter day, and, thankfully,after awhile things began toget a little easier. Slowly butsurely, my muscles adjustedtothetasksexpectedofthem.Inadequacy began to givewaytocompetency.PeterandBob broke everything down

intominutiae.We’dtrainandtrain, learning one sequenceatatime.They’dteachusthefirst five moves, then addanother fivemoves, and thenanotherset...andsoonandso forth, untilwe finally hadthebasicoutlineofthewholefight.

After a while I started togain more confidence,perhaps even becoming alittle cocky. It’s a natural

thing,Isuppose,inanysportyendeavor, especially one thatinvolves combat. Iwanted toshow off for my mentors,maybe even prove myselfworthyoftheirrespect.

“Comeon, showmewhatyou’vegot,” I’dsay toPeter.Inevitably, shortly after thatbrazencomment,therewouldthenbeaquickflashofsilver,the sound of metal clinkingagainst metal, and I’d be

suddenly standing thereunarmed, my sword havingbeensweptfrommyhandanddepositedonthefloorinwhatfeltlikelesstimethanittakestodrawasinglebreath.AsifI needed reminding, thiswashumbling proof that eitherone of these men, despitebeing three decades older,could kick my butt at amoment’snotice.

And so it went, for twoandahalfweeks.MandyandI could not develop muchcamaraderie during this timebecause, for the most part,theykeptusseparated.Everyso often they would bringMandyintothestudiowhereIwas training with Peter andsay, “Okay, let’s see you tryit with each other. Just thefirst sequence.” Then we’dpracticeacoupletimes,make

a few mistakes, and they’dseparateusagain.

At the end of each day Iwould drive home, bathemyachingmuscles inahotbath,have a bite to eat, and workon the script. I’d devoured itcover to cover a few timesalready, and loved it moreand more with eachsuccessive reading, but Ihadn’t really begunmemorizing all my lines. I

tried a few times, but theday’s fencing efforts provedtoo draining. As soon as I’dcurluponthesofaandbeginlooking at the words, evenwith the best intentions, I’dcrash having learned only acoupleofscenes.

Inthelastfewdaysbeforethe start of principalphotography, Bob and Peterexplained that we had onlyskimmed the surface. The

training would go on everyday during the shoot. Unlikethe other actors, we wouldnot have the luxury of anydowntime.

“If you have a single freemoment, we’re putting asword in your hand,” theypromised.

And theyweren’tkidding.They were on the set everyday, lurking in the shadows,waitingforanyopportunityto

grab Mandy or me. Theyfigured logically that if thefighttrainingwasputoffuntilthe end of the day’s shoot,we’d be too tired to give itmuchofaneffort.Soinstead,they would stand behind thecamera and wait like hawks.As soon as a new setupwascalled for—which opened aten-minute window in theschedule—Peter would

appear out of nowhere,rapiersinhand.

“C’mon.Let’sgo.Notimetowaste.”

As a result, Mandy and Ihardly ever sat down duringthe entire production. Whiletheotheractorswerehangingout and generally having agood time,wewereworkingon our fight sequence—dayinanddayout.Forme,itwasthe equivalent of a graduate-

level course in professionalfencing from two masters. Iwillnever forget it,andIamforevergrateful.

WRESTLINGR.O.U.S.INTHEFIRESWAMP

My first day of filming onThe Princess Bride was alsothe first day of shooting:August18,1986.MandyandIhadfinishedtrainingatfiveo’clock the previous eveningandacallsheetwasdeliveredto the dance studio. Iremember both of us gettingwordsofencouragementfromBobandPeteraswe left thatafternoon, as well asassurancesthattheywouldbe

withusbotheverystepoftheway over the next fewmonths. On the way back tomy hotel I looked over thecallsheetandsawtherewasa5:45a.m.pickup togo to thestudio.Ithenlookedoverthefilmingschedule.Forthefirstfew weeks, Robin and Iwould be filming the scenesintheFireSwamponHStageatShepperton, the same set Ihad already visitedwithRob

while it was still underconstruction.

I recallsitting inmyhotelroom later, going over myscenes for the next day, andfeeling just a tad anxious.Even though this wasn’t myfirst studio movie, it wascertainly the biggest. A lotwas riding onmy being abletopullthischaracteroff.Yes,I had studied the book adnauseam, which was now

crammed full of my notes. Ihadalsogoneover the scriptand donemy usual notationsin that, too. Nevertheless, Istarted feeling a little self-doubt. After all, aren’t allactors a bit insecure, as BillandRobhavestated?SowasI suffering from a case ofgood pregame butterflies?Sure, I’ll admit it.And to befair, it was perfectlyunderstandable given the

circumstances. This wasprobably the most importantrole of my career. If Iscrewed it up, it would be awhile before I would beofferedanother.

To quote Mr. GoldmanfromhisbookWhichLieDidI Tell?, “This is not a bookabout my neuroses—well,maybe it is—but anyway, Iwill cut to the chase.” Idecided to call Rob over at

the Dorchester. I knew thatchatting with him would putmeatease.Ofcourse,Ididn’tcomerightoutandadmitthatI was in any way nervous.Instead, I called under theguiseofcuriosity.

“Hiya, Cary . . . how’reyoudoin’?”

“Great. Thanks,” I said,trying to sound confidenteven though I don’t think heboughtit.“Howaboutyou?”

“Great.How’s the fencingcomingalong?”

“Good,” Isaid.“PeterandBobareincredibleteachers.”

“They’re pretty great,aren’t they?” Rob said.“We’reallveryexcitedtoseewhatyouguyshavedone.”

Hewentontosaythattheplanwas forMandy and I torehearseaversionoftheduelforhimontheactualsetonceitwascompletedsowecould

getafeelfortheterrain.Thatdidn’t really concern me,though; there were otherthingsonmymind.

“So what can we expecttomorrow?” I asked, gettingstraighttothepoint.

“We’re startingoutwithafairly simple scene,” Robsaid,hisvoicebrimmingwithexcitement, just like a littlekid. “You know, the onewhere you reveal how you

became the Dread PirateRoberts to Buttercup whileyou carry her through theswamp.ThenallyougottadoissaveRobinfromthefire.”

Hmmmm. Saving Robinfrom a fire didn’t sound allthatsimple.

“Does that involve stuntwork?”Iasked.

“There are a couplestunts,” Rob went on. “But

thestuntguystoldmeit’sallprettybasicstuff.”

“Really?”“Yeah.Imean,likeIsaid,

one of them involves somefire, but they’ve assured meit’snobigdeal.”

“Okay, cool.” Which ispreciselyhowIwastryingtosound.

“Yeah, and the only otherthingisyouguysaregoingto

be sinking into somequicksand.”

Fire . . . quicksand . . .ThiswasRob’s ideaofbasicstuff?

“All right. That soundslike fun,” I replied, trying tosoundasupbeataspossible.

I took a second, thenfinally let out what was onmymind.

“IjustwanttomakesureIgethimright.Youknow?”

Rob had been down thisroadenough timeshimself torecognize the tone of arestless actor when he heardone.Irememberherepliedinaverycompassionateway.

“Cary, you don’t have toworry. You’re him. You gothim,withoutevenknowingit.It’sallthereinsideofyou.”

Then he said somethingelseI’llneverforgetaboutthe

tonehewanted tostrikewiththecharacters.

“The important thing toremember, and this iswhat Ihave been telling everybody,is that even though I wantyouguystohavefun,Idon’twant you to play it for thelaughs, you know what Imean?”

“Yeah. You want us toplayitstraight.”

“Exactly. Because Bill’swriting is so brilliant youdon’t have to tip anything.The words alone will makepeople laugh. It’s all rightthere on the page. So like Isaid,youdon’thavetoworryabout a thing. Okay? You’regonnabefine.Trustme.”

Ithenthankedhimandbidhim good night beforehanging up. Despite Rob’svery honest reassurances, I

couldn’thelp stayingup late,poring over the next day’sscenes over and over again,makingsurethatIdidn’tmissanything. That is, until Ifinally fell asleep from sheerexhaustion.

The next morning I wokeup early andwent straight tothestudio,eagertogettomyfirstdayatwork,ontimeandwell-prepared. I was usheredby the first AD into the hair

and makeup department,where I met with LoisBurwell, our incrediblytalented makeup artist whohad worked on a couple ofmy favorite films, TheDraughtsman’s Contract andMona Lisa, and has sincebecomeapersonalfavoriteofMr. Spielberg’s. Lois wasgoingtobeapplyingnotonlymy makeup but also a littlefake mustache on me a few

weeks into filming.Thiswassomething Rob and I hadagreed on for the look ofWestley—a pencil-thin one,which I toldRobwouldgivehim a very Flynn/FairbanksflairifIcouldgrowitintime.Iwasable togrowone,butIwouldhavetoshaveitoff,aswewerefilmingthefarmboyscenes with Buttercup out ofsequence, which called for

me to be clean-shaven—thustheneedforthefakeone.

While Lois was makingme up, our equallyprofessional hair stylist, JanJamison, who had,incidentally, worked withMandy on Yentl, startedapplying a small ponytail tothe back of my head—another look that Rob and Ihad discussed for Westley.This process involved using

incrediblypainful,tinyrubberbands that had to be placedclose to my scalp so shecould weave the hair in. Itwasn’t her fault they hurt,though. Jan assured me that,given all the stunt work Iwould have to do, this“backfall,” as it was called,was the onlyway to apply ittomyhead.

After getting made up Iheaded over to my dressing

room on the lot. There,hangingon thewall,greetingme as I walked in, was thefull Man in Black costume.LeaningonachairnexttoitInoticed my actual moviesword for the first time.As Itook it out of its scabbard, itglistenedinthemorninglight.It had been designed by aprofessional swordmaker, ashad all of the swords in themovie, to Bob and Peter’s

specifications. I practiced afewmovestogetthehangofit. It was beautifully craftedandverylightweight.

Once I finished gettingdressed, I checked myself inthe mirror in my full outfitone last time. This was it—timetobringtheDreadPirateRoberts to life! I hookedmyscabbard to my belt andgrabbedmyglovesandmask.Before I had a chance for a

second thought there was aknock on the door. It was aproduction assistant, a job Ihad once held, now there tobring me to the stage. Iopened the door and let himin.

“Youready?”heasked.“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I

replied,grabbingmysides.Just walking onto the set

itself was an incredibleexperience. I’d never seen

such a large crew. All theproducers were there, alongwith the heads of all thedepartments. Bill Goldmanwas also there, chatting withone of the producers, SteveNicolaides. Everything aboutthe setting screamed, “Big-time Hollywood movie.”What I felt could be akin tothe thrill that perhaps aminor-league baseball playerexperienceswhen he’s called

up to the majors and walksintoa50,000-seatstadiumforthefirsttime.Ifeltapalpablesenseofaweandexcitement.

In the theater, unlike filmyou have a sense of thefinished product even as youare rehearsing. And you getto tell the entire story everynight. Moviemaking is acompletely different process.It’saboutshepherdingactors,craftsmen, and technicians—

artistsall—inthepursuitofacommongoal:tryingtocatchlightning in a bottle. A goalthat can seem painfullyelusiveattimesdependingonthe circumstances. Films arecobbled together over weeksand months, with scenescapturedfrommultipleanglesandpointsofview,andundera myriad of conditions. Asingle scene or sequence,dependingonhowlargeit is,

can sometimes take a coupleof days to shoot—in somecasesweeks, aswas the casefortheinfamousduelandtheFire Swamp. Adding to thedisorientation is the fact thatnearly everything is filmedout of sequence (ergo theneedformyfakemustache!).Therecanbenodoubt that acertain childlike wonder isrequired to do the job, butactors also need an

abundance of patience andflexibility, as things don’talways turn out as planned.All I know is that I loveworking in film. And, asidefrombeingwithmyfamily,Iwouldn’t rather be anywhereelse in the world than on amovie set. There really isnothingtocompareitto.

Standing across from me,getting wired by the sounddepartment, was Robin,

looking radiant as ever inButtercup’s bright red dress.After sharing someverynicecompliments about ourrespective outfits, I, too,began to get wired. This iswhere the sound departmenthides a smallmicrophone onyour person, much like yousee in the movies when theFBI or the police need tohave someone “wear awire”inorder tocatch thebadguy

incriminating himself. Thereasonforthisissothesounddepartment can pick up eventhefaintestdialoguethatmaybe too quiet or soft to bepicked up by the boommicrophone. While Phyllisand the boom operator triedtofigurewherethebestplaceto hide themicwould be onmycostume, I lookedaroundand noticed Goldmanstandingofftothesideofthe

set . . . all by himself.As atthetablereading,heappearedtobeevenmorenervousandexcited than I was. Moreunduly anxious than usual, Ishouldsay.Irememberedhiswords at the read-through,wherehestatedthathemightseem a little so because thiswas his favorite piece ofwork. Icouldn’t tell if itwasthatormaybe itwasbecauseit was the first day of

shooting. I should point out,though, that this was notGoldman’s first time at therodeo. He had spent sometimeon thesetsofMarathonMan, Butch Cassidy, All thePresident’s Men, and ABridge Too Far. However,even though he visited thesesets, he never stayed for thewholeshoot.

This was not a rare thingin Hollywood back then, or

even nowadays. The norm isthat unless rewrites areneeded on the fly, thescreenwriter is rarely invitedto the shoot except forperhaps a customary visit tomeeteveryone.Heoftenendsup watching the rest of theproduction from afar as hisbaby is nurturedby someoneelse. Some directors feel alittle insecure about havingthe writer on location,

perhaps fearful that theymight be judging theirmethodsorvision.Ifchangesare needed, these directorsusuallyprefertohavethenewscenesorlinesdeliveredbye-mailorfax.Forsome,havingawriteron theset isdeemedat best a distraction, atworsta nuisance. Some prefer towork with them at arm’slength (unless, of course, thedirector is the writer),

allowing the script to morphinto something else entirely.And to be fair to thosedirectors, this is notnecessarily a bad thing. It’sallowing the director to havecreative license born ofinspiration. I remember awriter who had written bigstudio movies telling meonce: there are three movieswhenyoumakeamovie—theone you write, the one you

guys shoot, and the one thedirector edits. For somewriters this kind ofbanishmentcanbeconsideredheresy.Forothers it’s nobigdeal. Neither one of them isnecessarily right or wrong.It’s just one of thosechallenging dynamics:whether the director feelscomfortablehavingthewriteraroundornot.It’sreallyuptotheirdiscretion.

Rob adored Bill and hadsuchadmirationforhistalentthatheinvitedhimonthesetnotjustforavisitbutfortheduration of the production.Indeed we all felt that wayaboutBill.Toushewassucha giant, not only within theindustry but also within theartistic community at large,that we were all in awe ofhim. He was also then andstill is a very genteel, big-

hearted guy. You’d have tobe to write a fairy-tale lovestory for your kids. So therewas never a question aboutwhether he should be therewithusornot.Thiswas,afterall, his favorite screenplay.Whywouldn’thebe invited?Although, I got the distinctsensefromhimthathereallydidn’twanttobethere.

Thefirstsceneonthefirstday was the one in which

Westley leads Buttercupthrough the Fire Swamp,hacking away at vines whilerelatingtobothButtercupandtheaudiencehowhecame tobetheManinBlack.TheFireSwamp, incidentally, isdescribed as follows in thestage directions of Bill’sscript:

WILLIAMGOLDMAN

I don’t like being on set. Ifyou’re a screenwriter, it’sboring.Thewordsarealldone,and they’re doing the movie,andyourwork is done. I don’tlike being around. I neverwanted to direct. I don’t knowhow to talk to actors; most ofthemarehalfphony.SoIdon’tlikebeingonamovieset.Neverhave.Imean,Ilikebeingthereforthereading,becausethereiswork to be done and you canhear it being performed. But Ijustdon’tlikebeingaroundtheshoot. So Iwasn’t theremuch.

But overall itwas still the bestexperienceofmywholelife.

It really doesn’t look anyworse than any other moist,sulfurous,infernalhorroryoumightrunacross.Greattreesblockthesun.

Andthatisexactlywhatitlooked like. It was nowcompletely covered increepers and vines and hadlarge toadstools and moss-

covered rocks all over theplace.

My first line of dialogue,describingmythoughtsabouttheswamptomakeButtercupfeelsecure,was,“Youknow,it’s not that bad. I’m notsaying I’d like to build asummer home here, but thetrees are actually quitelovely.”

Irecallnotgettingitquiteright.Robhadaveryspecific

idea about how the words“summer home” should bepronounced and thought Iwas putting too muchemphasisonthesecondwordasopposedtothefirst.

“It’ssummerhome,Cary,”Robsaid.

“Right—summerhome.”“No, try it again. Summer

home.”We tried a second take.

And then something strange

happened. Before I even gotto finish the lineanodd lookcameacrossRob’s face frombehindthemonitor.HeturnedtoAndyScheinman,liftedoffhis headphones, and said,“What’s that weird noise Icanhear?”

Andy removed hisheadphones as well andshook his head. “I don’tknow,butIcanhearit,too.”

“Cut!”Robyelled.

Rob turned to our soundguy,DavidJohn.

“Dave?What’s thatweirdnoise?”heasked.

“I don’t know, but it hasstoppednow,”camethereplyfromDavid.

Werolledagain.Andonceagain,rightinthemiddleofatake,Robyelled,“Cut!”

BILLYCRYSTAL

Rob is incredibly smart abouthis material, and very freeingforactorstodotheirbestwork.He also knows what he wants.He’ll say, “Iwant it theway Ilikeit.”Hewantsitthewayhehears it. So the dialogue has arhythm to it, an inflection, amusictoit.Andifyoudon’thitthe right notes, you know it.He’ll correct you about wherethe inflectiongoesandsoon. IrememberevenonAFewGoodMen,TomCruisewould go upto him and say, “Tell me itagain.Justsay it.”He’dhear it

andgo,“Igot it.”And thendoit perfectly, because there’s amusic to it. Ifyoudon’thit thenote right, it’s going to be alittleflat.It’sabouttiming,andRob has excellent timing. Andheloveshisactors.He’saverygivingdirectorthatway.

“What the heck is that?”Rob asked again, walkingover to the sound cart. Ournow frustrated sound manrewoundthetapeandletthem

all listen to it again to see ifthey could decipher what itwas and thus, hopefully,whereitwascomingfrom.

Thetapewasplayedback,and I even got a listen. Youcould clearly hear whatsounded like some sort ofstrange incantation orchantingofsomekind.Itwasbarely audible but it wasdefinitelyon thesound track.The ADs spread out and

began searching the swamp,listening for the sound. Ithink it was Rob whoeventually discovered Billstanding behind a gianttoadstool, rocking back andforth,withhisfingerscrossedin his mouth, mumblingunderhisbreath.

“Bill, what are youdoing?” Rob askedquizzically.

Embarrassed, Billstammeredasheremovedhishands from his mouth, “Oh,I’m,er...Iwasjustpraying.Why?”

“Youcan’ttalkontheset,Bill.Notwhilewe’refilming.The microphones pick upeverything.”

Billloweredhishead.“Ohmygosh! I’m sorry,”

he said. “I was just a littleexcited,Iguess.”

Rob threw an arm aroundhim and pulled him close.“It’sokay,Bill.Justrelax.”

Rob then turned tousandcalmly said, “Okay.Let’s tryitagain.”

The next two takes wereprinted but apparently I stillcould not get the delivery of“summer home” exactlyright.Whenadirectorgivesaline reading to an actor—when he demonstrates

precisely how the wordsshould be spoken—it cansometimesbeabit awkward.But Rob’s personality is soengaging and his demeanorso unthreatening that he isjust naturally able to put anactor at ease.He also knowsexactly how it should sound.Thenext take, I finallygot itright.

Afterward I said to Rob,“You know, in England we

don’t really have summerhomesgiventheclimate.”Helaughedandsaid,“Yeah,thatfigures.”

For the next sequence intheFireSwamp, therewouldbenoeasingintothings.Thiswouldbeabaptismbyfire.

ROBREINERBill was there during the earlyscenes. I remember he wasfreakingoutthefirstdayhewas

there.Hewouldgetbehind thecamera and he’d turn his backandhewouldkindof crosshisfingers. And it was kind of aweird thing, almost like a littlekidwhowashopingeverythingwouldgowell.

Although the stunts andspecial effects in ThePrincessBridewerecertainlymodest by today’s standards(and indeed even by thestandards of some of the

Hollywood blockbusters ofthe time, e.g., the Star Warsand Indiana Jones trilogies),they nevertheless representedmy introduction to thetechnological possibilities ofmoviemaking, and the risksand challenges associatedwithstuntwork.

This was the point in theFire Swamp sequence whereButtercup’s dress brieflycatches on fire before the

flame is extinguished byWestley.It’smerelya lineinthe stage directions andconsumesonlyafewsecondsof film, but before we couldshoot thescene,severalstepshad to be taken. First, a firemarshalhad tobebrought tothe set. He would then meetwith the stunt coordinator,Peter Diamond, Nick Allder,our FX supervisor, and hisspecialeffectscrew.Thiswas

followedbywhatisknownasa general “safety meeting”with the rest of the crew.Anytime there are firearms,fire, or even a dangerous orsemidangerous stuntinvolved, there is always asafety meeting of this kind.The whole crew gathersaround, and usually the firstAD explains what themeeting is about. He thenintroduces everyone to the

person in charge of specialeffects/stunts/firearms, etc.,and that person walkseveryone through thesequence, detailing bothprocess and all potentialsafetyconcerns.

Andthatiswhathappenedthat day asNick filled us in.We were all then invited towalk around the set as hepointedoutvariousplacesonthe ground through which

flames would periodicallyspurt. Each point had beenmarked by a bright orangerubberstreetcone.

“Pleasemakesurethatyoudon’tsteponanyofthesegasoutlets,” he cautioned.“Always walk around them.That’s why we have putcones next to each one, soyou can all familiarizeyourself with where theflames are going to come

from. There’s another oneover there, and there’sanotherthere.Therearethreeof them in all and we’regoingtotimethesetogooffacertainway.Justsoyouguyswill know exactly when theflames are going to spurtwehave arranged for the soundof air to be blasted throughthe pipes containing the gasbeforehand as a warning.Okay?”

Weallnodded.“Okay, the last one, right

here,” he said, pointing to acone,“isgoing tobe theonethat sets fire to Robin’sdress.”

I looked over at Robin.Shebetrayednottheslightestbitofconcern.

“We’vehadaspecialdressmade for her,” he continued,“that is made out of flame-retardantmaterial.”Rob then

turned to Robin and said,“Robin, you’re okay withthis,right?”

I’ve done enough moviesin the last twenty-five yearsto know that this is always adifficultmomentforanactor.Actorsnearlyalwayswant toappear courageous andcommitted, willing to doanything for the team. Sowhile it is perfectlyacceptable to opt out of a

stuntandlettheprofessionalshandle it, there is somepressure, mostly internal, topush yourself beyond yournormal comfort zone.Typically, the director willfollow up after theconsultation with the stuntcoordinator and specialeffectsexpertsandtheactors,just tomakesureeveryoneisat ease with their respectiveroles when it comes to the

stunt. Certainly that was thecaseonthisoccasion,asRobconsulted with both Robinandmeaboutourwillingnessto do the stunt. But more sowith her, seeing as she wasthe one who was actuallygoingtobesetonfire.

“Ifyoudon’twanttodoit,it’s totallyfine,”Robassuredher. “We’ve got the doubles.So it’s okay. We can shootaroundyou.”

Robinlookedatme.I shrugged—if you’re

game,soamI.She then turned back to

Rob.“No, I think we can do

this.”Robglancedatme.“Areyouguyssure?”“Absolutely,” Ichimed in.

“I’ll make sure she’s safe.Let’sgiveitashot.”

We carefully watched thescene rehearsed with ourstunt doubles—AndyBradford for me, SueCrossland for Robin—so wecould study in detail whatwould be required of us. AsNick had warned us, eachlittle burst of flame waspreceded by a loud whoosh!sound as a thick blast ofoxygen was shot out of thegaspipe;sowealwaysknew

preciselywhenandwheretheactualflamewouldappear.Atthe appointed time, wewatched as Sue’s flame-retardantdresscaughtonfire,andAndyput itout.Sofromwhat I could gather Robinwas essentially going to besetonfire,andmyjobwastograb her, move her awayfromtheopenflame,andthenextinguish the fire on herdress without letting her get

burnedinanyway.Nobiggie,right?“Allyouhavetodoisrub

the dress together, and theretardantwillputout the fireby itself,” Nick instructed.“However, if it looks likethere’s a problem, just stepaside immediately and Peterand myself will douse herwith the fire extinguisher.We’llberightherenexttothe

camera. It’s only a smallflame,soitshouldn’tspread.”

Was I apprehensive aboutshooting a scene thatinvolved an unstable elementon another actor? Especiallyfire? You bet. It occurred tome that even though Robinwas wearing a full layer offireproofclothingbeneathherflame-retardant dress, herfaceandhandswouldstillbeexposed. Interestingly, the

stunt coordinators and FXteamtoldher that ifanythingwent wrong, she was toimmediately cover her facewithher hands,whichwouldhave been the natural knee-jerk reaction anyway. Did Ido my best to hide myanxiety at being the one toput out the fire on Robin?Youbetcorrectlyagain.

Sowelinedupfortheshotand Rob yelled, “Action,”

and I walked Robin past thelast fire pit. There was a“whooshing”sound,andthentheflame.Anditwasaprettylargeburstofflame,Icantellyou.Itcaughtmebysurprise.Obviously Robin’s dressimmediately caught fire, butjust as I pulled her aside toextinguish it there came aloud yell from behind thecamera.

Robcalledforcut.

What was the commotionthis time? It turns out thateven though Bill knewexactly what was going tohappen,ashehadwrittenthissequence into every versionof the screenplay, he hadapparently forgotten that thisparticular stunt was beingshot thatdayandhadleft theset for some reason, missingthe safety meeting, andreturnedrightinthemiddleof

the first take. As soon as hesaw Robin on fire henaturally thought there hadbeen some sort of anaccident. Thus, he yelled outsomething to the effect of“OH, MY GOD! HERDRESSISONFIRE!SHE’SON FIRE!!!” effectivelyruining another take. Afteryelling “Cut!” Rob calmlyturned to Goldman and said,

“Bill, it’s supposed to catchonfire,remember?”

Fortunately, everythingwentsmoothlyandIwasabletoputoutthefirewithouttoomuch difficulty each andevery take thereafter. Iremember Robin’s reactionwhen the large flame caughtonherdresswasaverysmall“Ooh!” rather than a scream,which should tell you justhowunfazedshewasbyitall.

Or just how good an actressshewasathidingherfear.Assoon as Rob yelled, “Cut,”after each take the FX crewand Peter would rush overand douse her with a smallfire extinguisher just to besure.And shewould have tochange into a succession ofdressesoncetheburnbecamenoticeable.

WILLIAMGOLDMAN

I remember turning toRobandsaying, “You’re setting fire toRobin on the first day?! Whatare you nuts? It’s not like wecanreplaceher!”

ROBREINERWewereintheFireSwampandshooting the scene where aburst of flame catches Robin’sdress on fire. And Bill wasreally upset, saying, “I can’tbelieve that on the first day ofshooting we’re setting theleadingladyonfire!”

Billwassoembarrassedathaving potentially ruinedanother take he wanted tobook his flight home rightaway,butRobconvincedhimto stay longer. He actuallymade it to the first day ofshootingfortheFlorinCastlesequences at Haddon Hallbeforepackinghisthingsandleaving. The reason Iremember is because Ibroughtavideocameratothe

set that day and shot somebehind-the-scenes footagethat included him. And then,theverynextday,heleft.Justlikethat.Themanresponsiblefor creating this wondrousworld,thismagicalstory,wasgone. Fortunately he wouldreturnlater.

ROBINWRIGHTI remember on one take thedress caught fire, and it kept

catchingfire.Maybetheyforgotto put fire retardant on part ofthe dress. Anyway, it just keptburning. And thankfully Caryputitoutjustasitwascrawlinguptowardmyhair.

Setting fire to Robin wasjust the first of a couple ofchallenging physicalsequencestobeundertakeninthe swamp. Before the dayended, there was anothermeeting with the FX crew,

this time to discussButtercup’s disappearanceinto what looks likequicksand, referred to as“Snow Sand” in the book,andhersubsequentrescuebyWestley. Again, the entiresequence was explained anddemonstrated by the specialeffects team and by PeterDiamondinasafetymeeting.Located just a few inchesbeneath the quicksand, we

were told, was a trapdoormade out of latex andplywood thatwas being heldin place by amember of theFX team. When Buttercupstepped on the appropriatespot at the appropriate time,the door would be releasedandshewouldbesuckedintothe sand. Shortly after shedisappeared,Iwastojumpinafter her, using the sametechnique. Beneath the

trapdoorwasapit filledwithfoam mattresses to ensurethat the person falling downwould land safely. Peter andthestuntteamassuredustheywouldbedowntheretocatchusandmakesureweweren’tinjured. A marvelous andveryeffectiveillusion.

Our doubles, Andy andSue, began walking usthrough the stunt effortlesslyand safely. As with the fire

stunt,theywoulddoonetakeandthenitwastobeourturn.In all honesty, this oneseemed easy, at least incomparison to the previousstunt. But after watching,therewas something about itthat seemed a little odd. Myinitial instructions were tomerelywalkinafterRobin—grabmy nosewith one handto prevent sand from gettingin it, and jump down feet-

first. Butwhenwe looked atthe scene on playbackafterward, it seemed kind offeeble. There was somethingrather unheroic aboutjumping into quicksand feet-first.Especiallyholdingone’snose.

“I don’t know, guys,” Isaid.“Itdoesn’texactlyseemswashbuckling,doesit?WhatifIweretodiveinheadfirst?”

Rob agreed, but both heand the stunt team werereluctanttoletme,oranyone,for thatmatter,diveheadfirstinto the pit. Itwasmuch toodangerous. What if I gotinjured? Ithadn’t reallybeendesigned or tested for thatpurpose, they reasoned quitecorrectly. I tried to pleadmycase. What sort of fairy-talehero would watch his lovetumble into a pit of

quicksand, and then take thetime to place his sword andsheathonthegroundandjustsort of step casually into thepittosaveher?

No one disputed the idea,but there were legitimatesafetyconcernsandinsuranceissues that had to beconsidered. The fear,naturally,wasthatamistimedheadlong dive into thequicksand could result in

serious injury (like a brokenneck, spinal injury, orfractured skull) and thus, thetermination of the entiremovie. Therewas quite a lotatstake.Butthen,that’softenthe case with any specialeffectsorstuntwork.

As the relative freshmanon the set, itwasn’t easy formetovoicemyopinionaboutsomethingthatwasnot justamatter of safety but also a

matter of artistic license.ButI instinctively knew thatstepping into the quicksanddidn’t seem right, that itwasn’t graceful enough tocapture the spiritof the storyor of the character. I didn’tthinkWestleywasthetypeofperson who would be tootimid to dive headfirst intoquicksand to save his truelove.Itdidn’tseemtruetohisnature. I wanted him to be

consistent with Goldman’svision: at once fearless andelegant, romantic and brave.My theory was that if hewasn’t afraid to throttle agiant, wrestle humongousrats, and defeat InigoMontoya in a duel, heshouldn’t be afraid to diveheadlongintoquicksand.

“There’sgoingtobesomeexcitingmusichere, right?”IaskedRob.

“Yeah,sure.”“Then let’s give Westley

someexcitingbehavior togoalongwithit!”

After a lot of beardscratching, Rob finallyrelented.

“Okay. But not with you,with your stunt double,”washisonlyconcession.

Thiswasabigdealforme—it was the first moment inwhich I felt like a real

collaborator in the process,andnotmerelyahiredhand.Ihad earned the trust andrespectofadirector Igreatlyadmired.

I pulled Andy Bradfordaside.

“Doyou thinkyoucandoit?”

“Absolutely,” he saidwithout hesitation. “Noproblem.” Andy was not

someonewhoshowed fearatall.

PeterDiamondthentalkedAndy through the sequenceandhowtodoitsafely.Theystood around thepit,mimingthe dive, discussing propertiming, and then, with thecameras rolling, first Robindisappeared. Then Andy—bless his heart!—aftergrabbing a piece of vine hehad hacked, dove right in

after her. He had neverpracticedthestuntbefore,andhe did it perfectly. Thetrapdoor opened and he slidsmoothly into the sand,looking very heroic in theprocess.

When he made his wayback to the surface withRobinonhisback,andusingthe vine for support, therewasbigapplausefromusall.Everyone had become

convinced of the merits ofdiving rather than walkingintothequicksand.

“That was great, Andy!Cary, do you think you cando that?” Rob askedexcitedly.

“Ithinkso,”Ireplied.He then turned to Andy.

“Can you show him? Thatwasfantastic!”

Andyspitoutafewgrainsof sand and smiled. “Yeah,

sure.”Unlike Andy, the special

effects folks went alongreluctantly. They werenaturally nervous that thedoor might not open at theprecisemoment.Becauseifitdidn’t, I was warned, then Iwould be smashingmy skullagainstplywoodwiththefullweightofmybody.

“Just so you know,guv’nor,” they said to Rob,

“we’re not liable. Thetrapdoor wasn’t intended forthis purpose, so we can’t becertain it’ll work a secondtime.”

Finally,afterapracticerunwith Andy showing meprecisely how itwas done, itwasmyturn.

ThefirstADcalled,“Turnover,” the camera startedrolling, and Rob yelled,“Action!”

I watched as Robindisappeared into thequicksand, then I cut a pieceof vine, stuckmy sword intothe ground, took a deepbreath, and dove headfirstinto the pit after her, just asAndyhaddoneafewminutesearlier. Fortunately, I slidneatly into the pile of foamand was caught below by avery relieved Peter Diamondand Andy Bradford. And I

didn’tgetsomuchasabumporabruise.

ANDYSCHEINMANIt turned out much better. ButwewerescaredCarywasgoingto die. We didn’t want him todiveintothesandpit.Andeventhough we rigged this thingwithpadding,therewascementdown there. If he went downandhurthisneckorsomething,thatwouldhavebeenadisaster.But he did it on the first take,and in the movie it looks

fabulous. It definitely helpedthemovie. It’swaymoreErrolFlynn-yandhero-ytodivethannottodive.

After tendaysof shootingwe were all about ready toleavetheFireSwamp,butwestill had one more scene leftto do. On the second-to-lastday, we were introduced tothe little people who wouldbe portraying the Rodents of

Unusual Size. In the scriptthere is a protracted andexciting fight scene betweenWestley and an R.O.U.S. inthe Fire Swamp.As opposedtotheCGImiraclesprevalentinmoviestoday,weonlyhada budget that provided forsmall people wearing ratcostumes. One of the littlepeople,DannyBlackner,wasfrom the north of Englandand had multiple tattoos and

earrings all up and down hisears long before it becamefashionable, and he lookedlike a guy who had sprungfrom the punk rock scene ofthelate1970s.Iwastoldthatbesides being a performer hewas also a veteran stuntman,having utilized his skills anddiminutive stature to landwork in films such asLabyrinth and Return of theJedi, in which he played an

Ewok. He was an intenselyspirited and joyful guy whoclearlylikedhiswork.

There were three actorsplaying R.O.U.S. in all, butDanny was appointed to bethe onewhowould domuchof the heavy lifting, and theoneIwouldwrestlewithoverthe course of the next twodays. It was no picnic forthese guys in the rat suits.First, they were encased in

fifty pounds of latex, rubber,and fake fur—roughly halftheir own body weight.Second, they’d have to usetheir hands to control thefront feet of the rat and theirlegs to sort of kick with therear feet in order tomaneuver. And third, theirvision would be extremelylimited.

“This is going to be kindof strange,” Peter Diamond

explained. “When you fightwith them, you’ll be usingthis retractable sword,” hesaid handing it to me, “andDanny is going to pretend tobiteyou.Butdon’tworry,theteeth are all rubber. It’s allfake. Now, the challenge isthat Danny won’t be able toseemuchofanythingthroughthe suit, so you’re going tohavetomakehimmovewhileyou’re fightingwith him.He

won’t have much of a clueaboutwhat’sgoingon.”

“Really?”“Not much, no,” Peter

responded.I looked over at Danny,

whowasstillbeingsewnintohisratcostume.Hegavemeahugegrinandathumbs-up.

“Just remember, thesesuits are not verycomfortable; it’s very hot inthereforhim.Wedon’twant

this to drag on for too long,so try to get it over with asquicklyaspossible,okay?”

“Sure.Noproblem.”Sinceitwasgettinglate,it

was decided that we shouldjust rehearse the fightsequence in preparation toshoot it the followingmorning.Sowepracticedthewrestling and the bite on theshoulderoverandover.We’dalways check on the guys

inside theR.O.U.S. costumesevery few minutes to makesuretheyweren’tpercolating.They wore only T-shirts andboxers, but they’d still bedrenched with sweatwhenever we took a breakand they were allowed toremovetheirgiantratheads.

“You okay in there?” Iasked Danny after onerehearsal.

“Yeah, fine, guv’nor,”came the usual muffledrefrain.

It had to have beensweltering for those guysinside those costumes. Thereweregiant lights illuminatingthe soundstage, and no air-conditioningthatIcanrecall.Ihadalreadysoaked throughWestley’sbillowyblackshirt,just because of the actionunder the bright lights, so I

can only imagine howunbearable itmusthavebeeninsidetheskinofa50-poundlatex-and-fur-coveredR.O.U.S. But there weren’tanycomplaintsfromtheguysinthesuits.Iwon’tlietoyou,though:as I rolledaroundonthe floor of the swamp,staringintotherubberfaceofa giant rat, I did findmyselfthinking,Gosh,Ihopethisallworks out. I mean, the

R.O.U.S. didn’t really lookall that much like fearsomecreatures to begin with. Upclose, they looked like whattheywere:littlepeopleinsideratsuits.

I could only hope that noone would care, thatsomehow the special effectswould seem charming ratherthan cheesy (which was,thankfully,exactly theway itturnedout).

Thenextday,ourfinaldayintheswamp,Iarrivedontheset to find what appeared tobe a large commotion goingon.Rob andAndywere in aserious conference with theADs and David Barron, ourproduction manager. Iapproached to inquire whatallthefusswasabout.

“We lost one of theR.O.U.S.,”Robsaid.

“What? What happened?”I asked, fearing the worst—

maybe an accident orsomething.

“It’s the guy you aresupposed to fightwith today,Danny.Wecan’tfindhim.”

“Whatdoesthatmean?”“Well, we can’t finish the

sequencewithouthim.”“Can’t one of the other

guystakehisplace?”“No,” Andy chimed in,

“he’s the only trainedstuntman. He’s the only one

qualified to fight with you.It’saunionthing.”

DavidBarronlookedathiswatch.

“If he’s not here in thenext tenminutes,” he said toRob, “wemay have to breakfor lunch and try andcompletethislateron.”

“Butthisisourlastdayonthis set. What if he doesn’tshow?”Robasked.

“Well, then, I suggest wefigure out an alternative,”Davidresponded.

After some moreconsultationwithRob,Andy,and the other ADs, it wasfinallydecidedthatwewouldhave to make do with mewrestling a stuffed rat—thesame one thatwas thrown atme fromoffcamerabyPeterDiamond after my line,“Rodents of Unusual Size? I

don’t think they exist.”Believe me when I tell youthat wrestling a “rubber rat”feltevensillierthanwrestlingalittlepersoninsidearatsuit.Even Robin was barely ableto stifle a laughduring someofthetakes.

ROBREINERThe whole thing was a bigchallenge.Wedidn’thaveabigbudget—only16millionbucks.

Sothatwasachallenge, just toget all of it done. But thebiggest challenge was to striketherightbalanceinthetone.Tobe reverent to thegenre,but atthe same time to be gentlysatirizing it, which is what wedid. To walk that line wastricky. But we had the rightpeopletodoit.

ANDYSCHEINMANTruthfully,Iwasalittleworriedthat the Rodents of UnusualSize looked a little corny orweird. But it didn’t matter

becauseitwasallinthespiritofthe film. I don’t see Rob as abig techno guy. He’s morehuman.AndbythatImeanhe’smore interested in the humanend of filmmaking, you know?If we had CGI back then, it’spossible the story would havegottenoverwhelmedbyall thatstuff.

After shooting whatseemedanendlessamountoffootage of this foolishness

(thatnoonewasbuying—noteven Rob, despite all hispositivefeedback)wordcamethatDannyhadfinallyarrivedon set. We all stopped whatwe were doing to go andmake sure he was all right.Therewasnoquestionthathewas looking a littlebedraggled. Now, based onthe costly delay, somedirectorsmighthavesenthimpacking,oratleastgivenhim

a good tongue lashing, butnot Rob. Compassionate tothe core, he reached insteadforalogicalresponse.

“Howareyou?Areyouallright?” Rob asked himsincerely.

“I am now,” came thereply.

“What the heck happenedto you? We were allworried!”

This opened the door forDanny to embark on anextraordinary tale thatstopped production in itstracks for the next fewminutes.

“Well, guv’nor, it’s likethis,yousee. Ihadabitofaroughnight...areallyroughnight,actually.”

Rob noddedsympathetically and leanedforward. They made quite a

pair—Danny,atfourfeettall,and Rob more than six feet,with his broad shoulders andthickbeard.

Danny hung his headshamefullyandwenton.

“So Iwent out to the publast night with my mates,right?Andwetiedafewoneson, same as usual. Andanyway,when itwas time togohome, Igot inmyspecialcar,yousee—”

“A special car?” Robinterjected.

“You know—a car that’sspecially made for me. See,my feet can’t reach the floorof a regular car. I can’t usethe pedals. So I’ve got a carthat’s adjusted for me, so Icandriveitwithmehands.”

By now the whole crewhad gathered around.Hangingoneveryword.

“Well,anyway,suchismyluck,Igotpulledover,didn’tI?”

Rob, of course, asked,“Forwhat?”

“For speeding! Course Iwasn’t speeding at all ’cosmy car can only go so fast,youknow.”

Robshookhisheadoutofconcern,butsomeofthecrewcouldn’t help chuckling alittle.

“But this copper, he’s gotanother idea. So he pullsmeover, knockson thewindow,and tells me to get out thevehicle.So Ihopoffmepileof books—’cos I use a stackof books to get the rightheight.AndIjumpoutofthecar, and I’m a bit wobbly, Iwon’t lie to you. So thepoliceman, he says to me,‘Licenseandregistration.’SoI give it to him and he says,

‘Do you realize what youweredoing?’AndIsays,‘No,what was I doing?’ And hegoes, ‘You were over thespeedlimit.’Thenheasksmewhat’s the dealwithmy car,and hewants to knowwho Iamandallthat,right?Sojustas I start to tell him, he cutsme off and says, ‘Hold on!Letmesmellyourbreath!’SoIgivehimaquickwhiff andhe says, ‘You’ve been

drinking,haven’tyou?’AndIsays, ‘Yeah, I’ve had acouple.’Andhesays, ‘Right,then! Back of the van foryou!’ ”

By this time most of thecrewwere trying hard not tolaugh at this poor guy’smisfortune. But Robremained calm andcomposed. I think he justwantedtoheartheendofthestory.

“Then what happened?”Rob asked, genuinelyintrigued.

“So I try to tell him he’smaking a big mistake,”Danny continued, becomingmore animated as the talewent on. “I says, ‘You don’tunderstand! I can’t go downto the station! I’ve got animportant day’swork today.’And the cop says, ‘Work?’Justlikethat—‘Work?’—like

he don’t think I can earn adecent wage or something.‘What do you do for aliving?’ So I tells him, ‘I’man actor!’ right? And he justlaughsandsays,‘Yeah,right,pull the other one!’ And Isays, ‘No, it’s true, officer!I’m an actor and a stuntmanandIhavetobeonthesetina few hours.’ Then the copasksme,‘Okay,whatpartareyou playing?’ And I says,

‘I’m playing a rat.’ And hegoes, ‘All right, I’ve heardenough. Back of the van foryou!’ He didn’t believe me,guv’nor. So I spent a fewhours in the clink, didn’t I?Finally I was able to callsomeone in production tocomebailmeout.”

Farfromangry,RobthrewanarmaroundDanny.

“Wow. I’m so sorry tohear that.We wouldn’t have

known what to do withoutyou. I’m glad you made itout. Cary was getting kindatiredofwrestlingadummy.”

The poor fellow seemedrelieved.

“Thanks, guv’nor! It wasquite an ordeal, I can tellyou!”

“But you’re okay now,right? Or do you need sometime?”Robasked.

“No,guv.I’vebeenlockedupallnight.I’mreadytogo.”

Andwiththat,therewasaroundofapplauseandacheerfrom the crew. Withinminutes Danny hadtransformed into aRodent ofUnusual Size, and helped usall find our way out of theFireSwamp,onceandforall.

STORMINGTHECASTLEANDBEING

MOSTLYDEADBAKEWELL,DERBYSHIRE

After being given theweekend off to recover fromour long shoot in the FireSwamp the whole crewpackedupandtraveledtoournext location: Derbyshire’sfamousPeakDistrict,arrivingonthefirstdayofSeptember.Agooddealofthemoviewasto be filmed in and aroundthis area, most notably atHaddon Hall, an ancientmanor home located on the

RiverWyeinBakewell.Icanattest that it’s almostimpossible to visit HaddonHall and not feel a sense ofawe.

InAmericasometimes it’seasy to lose sight of the factthat the world is an ancientplace. The United States is,after all, but a few hundredyears old, a veritable blip onthe timepiece of Westerncivilization. In parts of

Europe, though, there is nomistaking the history; it ispalpable and overwhelming.Haddon Hall has a very richhistory. The place cannot bemeasured in years or evendecades,butincenturies.Youcan feel the ghosts ofmedieval times; theypractically whisper from thewalls.

Partsofitdatebacktothelate eleventh century, when

the property belonged to anoblebythenameofWilliamPeverel the Elder, allegedlythe illegitimate son ofWilliam the Conqueror, thegreat Norman king. It alsohas a wonderful romanticpast,whichmade it aperfectsettingforourtale.Inthelatesixteenth century, theproperty belonged to theVernons, a powerful familyclosely associated with the

infamous King Henry VIII.SirGeorgeVernon,knownasthekingof thePeakDistrict,had a daughter by the nameof Dorothy, who fell in lovewith a young local mannamed John Manners. SirGeorge, however, did notapproveofthematchbetweenhis daughter and the localfellow who was a nobleman(unlike our Buttercup andWestley)andtriedtokeepthe

lovers apart. According tolore, Dorothy’s lover wouldarrange to meet her in thenearby woods for secrettrysts, disguised as a foresterso that he wouldn’t attractattention.Onenight, in1563,Manners spirited Dorothyawayonhishorsesothattheycould live happily ever after,much like the ending of ourmovie.Trueloveprevails!

Four years later, HaddonHallpassed into thehandsoftheManners family,where ithas remainedever since.Thecastle stayed intact forhundredsofyears,untilitwasabandonedintheearly1700sand almost fell into ruin. Inthe 1920s, it was carefullyrestored by the Duke andDuchess of Rutland. Fouryears after that, Hollywoodcame calling,when a filmof

Dorothy’s famed love affair,entitled Dorothy Vernon ofHaddon Hall, and starringMary Pickford, was the firstmovie shot there. More thansixty years would go bybeforetheestatewasfeaturedinanotherfilm,andthis timeit was one I was intimatelyfamiliar with: Lady Jane. Infact, had I not been in thatfilm, I don’t know that Iwouldhaveevercomeacross

Rob’s radar while he wascasting.Sotherewas,forme,a feeling of fate, or maybeserendipity, when it came totheplace.

Needless to say I wasthrilled to be back at theestate, which would doublefor Prince Humperdinck’scastleinFlorin.IknewitwellandfeltlikeIbelongedthere.And I’mglad to be part of agroup of filmmakers that

helped alert the world to itsexquisite architecture and thestunning beauty of thesurrounding countryside. Inthe past twenty-five years,dozens of movies andtelevision series have usedthe property for a periodsetting, including Jane Eyre(three different versions!),Pride and Prejudice, andElizabeth. But perhaps nofilm has done more to boost

therecognitionofthehallandthe tourism industry of thePeak District than ThePrincessBride.

The very same sweetfamily, the Mannerses, whowere living in Haddon HallwhenIshotthereonlyayearbefore were still living therewhen I returned, residing inoneofthewingsoftheestatewhile the rest of the hallremainedopentothepublic.I

remember them coming outto greet us the morning wearrived from London. Theywere very gracious andfriendly,andrememberedmefrom Lady Jane, which wasnice. Walking onto theproperty was like steppingback in time, not only towhen I’d last been there butalsoseveralcenturies.

CHRISTOPHERGUEST

I can only speak for myself,obviously, but for me, I’vespent a lot of time in Englandand I like being there. So thatwas a good place to startanyway.But on themost basiclevel,theromanceforactorsofbeing in a situation where youget to dress up? This is whatactors like to do. Putting oncostumesofpeoplefromalongtime ago and havingswordfights, you know? It’salmost like going to a moviecampwhereyoujustgettohavefun. It was just one of those

magical things. And eventhough I didn’t know the otheractors except for Billy, whatsubsequentlyhappenedwasthatit became a very tight-knitgroupofactors thatwereaboutto have one of the greatexperiences that you couldhave.

It’s one thing to film amovieonasoundstage,whereyou have easy access to themost current technology,

without regard to weather orother issues that can wreakhavoc with continuity andschedule. But working onlocation can be an utterlyjoyful experience, fuelingcreativity and an esprit decorps inways that inevitablyshow up on the screen. I’mnot suggesting that agorgeous location can offsetthe problems inherent in afeeble script, unfortunate

casting,orunsteadydirection.But The Princess Bride wasdelightfully free of thoseweaknesses.Wehadtherightactors, the right crew, therightscript,andasurehandatthehelminRob.

Moreover,inHaddonHallwe had a setting that wasideallysuitedtoourproject.Ican still see the looks on thefaces of our art director,Richard Holland, and set

decorator, Maggie Gray, thefirst time I saw them in thefourteenth-centurybanquetinghall that theyhadmiraculously transformedinto Humperdinck’s study.They had the air andcountenance of kids in acandy store. With its grandTudor architecture and anabundance of medievalaccoutrements, the placewasalmost like a movie set in

itself. It provoked the rightcombinationofepicscaleandintimacy. Very little wasrequired to make it lookexactly as one envisioned itwhile reading the screenplay.That didn’t prevent Richard,Maggie, and their crew fromadding incredible designs toall the rooms we would beusing, to give them thatwonderfulmedievalfairy-taleflair.

“Pretty neat, huh?” Robsaidaswewalkedaroundthesets.

“Amazing! Simplyamazing.”

I could tell from hisdemeanor that he couldn’twait to get started. He wasgenuinely excited. As we allwere.Ialsorecall,onourfirstday there, noticing a ratherheavyset-looking guy withbig red muttonchops and a

pudding-bowl haircut,dressed in formal wear,following us around. It turnsout he was the local firemarshal, or “fire warden” asthey are known in the UK,assignedbytheownersoftheproperty to oversee ourfilming.Theyhadbeenmadeaware by our production thatthere would be scenesinvolving fire and possiblyopen-flame torches on the

walls, and they justifiablywanted to protect their veryprecious property from anypotentialdamage.Irememberthis fellowhada look tohimthatseemedfamiliarbutIjustcouldn’t place it. It wasRobwho finally made theconnection.

“He looks exactly likeCaptainKangaroo!”hesaid.

Andhewasright.Somuchso, that Sarandon and Guest

tooktohummingorwhistlingthe theme song of the showevery time they passed himon theset.Thepoorguyhadnoideawhattheyweredoing,since the Captain KangaroophenomenonnevermadeittoBritishTV.

The next fortnight’sshootingatHaddonwouldbefocusedonallthescenesthatinvolved the exteriors ofFlorinCastle.The first scene

up was one that takes placerelatively late in the film, inwhich Inigo, Fezzik, andmycharacter prepare to “stormthe castle” to rescueButtercup. Westley at thismoment is still unconscious—described by Goldman asbeing “mostly dead.” He ishoistedontoaperimeterwalloutside the castle, with thehelp of his newfound allies,to assess the huge odds that

face them before the assault.For this scene NormanGarwood and his team haddesigned and built a fakeparapetontheoutskirtsoftheproperty so that we couldhaveaclearviewoftheHall,nowdressedwithfaketowersand sporting huge chevron-shaped flags to look likeHumperdinck’s fortress, inthedistance.

IremembertalkingtoRobabout being “mostly dead,”and how exactly to play thatstate of semiconsciousness. Iknew how to portray mostthings when it came toexploring a character, butbeing “mostly dead” was anew one for me. Wediscussed what coming backto life should look like,withonly limiteduseofmybody.Theonlydescriptionof this I

had to go on was MiracleMax’s line from the book,whenhetellsInigo,“Ifwe’relucky, the tongue will workand absolutely the brain, andhe might be able to walk alittle if you give a nudge togethimstarted.”

I knew this was meant tobe a funny scene, perhapseven a bit silly. But I alsoknew it had the potential tobe ridiculous if played too

broadly.Rob and I discussedthe nuances at great lengthand I told him it might beinterestingandkindoffuntosee Westley not havecomplete control of his neckmusclesafterhecameto;thatway my head could flop allover the place at specificmomentsforcomediceffect.

“Also,” I said, “sinceFezzik is so excited aboutWestley getting his motor

skills back, maybe we couldhave him grab my head andusemeasamarionette.”

“Ilikeit,”Robsaid.“Let’stryit.”

WhenAndré strolled ontothe set that day, it was alsothe first time I had seen himin costume. Somehow it hadthe effect of making himappearevenlarger,ifthatwaspossible.Fezzik’suniform,asit were, consisted of a huge,

thick burlap sack cinched atthe waist, along with greatbaggy striped pants andmassive leather boots. Sincehis hair was starting to thin,the hair department hadprovidedhimwithahairpiecethatlenthimayounger,morerobust appearance. It was,however, extremely hot thatday, unusually hot for thatpartofEnglandinSeptember,andbythetimehearrivedon

set, André was noticeablyuncomfortable. Heexperiencedwarmthandheatfar more acutely than anormal person. And yet notso with the cold. As theproduction rolled deep intothe fall, and the temperaturesroutinely fell into the forties,whenmostofuswouldstandaround shivering betweentakes, wrapping ourselves inblankets and sweatshirts to

keep warm, André, even onthe chilliest days, eitherwalked around in shortsleevesorworenoshirtatalland had just a towel aroundhis shoulder (which wouldlook the size of a face cloth,givenhismagnitude).Hewasactually more comfortable inthe cold. Itwas the heat thatgave him trouble. Still, hesoldiered on admirably. Oneof the makeup artists would

occasionally mop the sweatfromhis forehead justbeforethe cameras rolled, but otherthan that, he was alwaysready to go, with thatbeamingsmileofhis.

It had only been a monthand a half or so since I lastencountered him, but alreadyI’d forgotten about just whatan impressive physical beinghewas.Andréhadthateffect.Each time you saw him, it

was likemeetinghim for thefirst time, in the sense thatone could never reallybecome accustomed to hisextraordinary size. Memorydidnotdohimjustice.Hehadto be standing there in frontof you, blocking the sun orenveloping your hand in his,like an adult taking the handof a baby, before you reallygot a sense ofwhat itmeantto be in the presence of this

impressive human being.GoldmansaidhewaslikethePentagon—“no matter howbig you’re told it’s going tobe, when you get close, it’sbigger.” Each day when hewalked on the set was likebeing reintroduced to one ofthe Seven Wonders of theWorld.

ANDYSCHEINMAN

André was a very sweet andfriendly man, but he didfrighten people sometimes.Robin Wright completelyfreaked out the first time shemet him. She ran out of herdressingroominapanic.Itwasactuallyprettyfunny.Shedidn’tknowwhohewasorwhatwasgoing on. She just saw thisgiant man and ran away in apanic. I felt terrible forAndré,buthedidn’tseemtomind.Heused to say that with children,“Half of them run away whenthey see me, half jump on my

lap.”Even the biggest, baddestdogswereafraidofhim.Maybethey thought he was a bear orsomething. And that was justpart of his life, part of hiseveryday experience, thatpeople and animals—everyoneand everything—reacteddifferentlytohim.

I can’t stress stronglyenough what an incrediblysweet and wonderful guyAndré was. Here was a man

whohad taken the cards thathadbeendealthiminlifeandinstead of wallowing in self-pity, had made the most ofeverysituation.Hetoldmehesuffered from a form ofgigantism known asacromegaly, which I wouldfind out laterwas a result ofhis anterior pituitary glandproducing excessive growthhormones—which, inlayman’s terms, essentially

means that his body growthwasexpandingataratetwiceto three times greater thannormal from the moment hehitpuberty.

Carrying his 500 pounds,combined with theacromegaly and decades ofoutrageous physicalpunishment absorbed in thering,hadlefthimbythemid-1980sinastateofacutepain,particularly in his back and

neck. Yet André nevercomplained. His outlook onlife was relentlessly upbeatandhisabilitytoputothersateaseathingofwonder.

Most actors who haveexperienced any degree ofcelebrityknowtheoccasionaldiscomfort that comes withbeing recognized in public.At least if you don’twant toberecognizedyoucouldwearsunglassesorahat.

ROBINWRIGHTHe was a smiler and he nevercomplained. You could tell hewasin tremendouspain,buthewouldnever complain about it.You could see it in his facewhen hewould try to stand upfrom a seated position. But hewas just themost gentle giant.Soincrediblysweet.

But there was no hidingforAndré.Whenyouarethatbig, there is no possible

disguise; no way to shrinkinto the background. Even ifhe had not been the mostfamous professional wrestlerinhistory,hestillwouldhavedrawn a crowd of gawkerswherever he went. But itnever seemed to bother him.Whether innate or acquired,he had an impressive abilityto simply float above all theattention,smilingandshakinghands, even posing for

pictures and signingautographs. He was awalking, talking handbookforhow tobeagraciousandgrateful star. I think it’s safeto say that hewas easily themost popular person on themovie. Everyone just lovedhim.

MANDYPATINKINHe was constantly beingmobbed for autographs and

pictures by people. And Iremember one particular daywatching him wait patientlywhileahundredorsomembersof the crew brought theirfamilies to the set and stood inline like tourists at Disneylandtomeet him. And he let everysingleoneofthemtakeaphotowithhim.

The only topic you couldnot get André to budge onwaswhetherornotwrestling

was fake or rehearsed in anyway. I don’t know if inAndré’s case it was real,considering all the severepunishment he experienced,orwhetherhebelievedinthewrestler’s code of nevergiving away trade secrets. Ithink, if truth be told, it wasprobablyacombinationofthetwo.

As the shoot continued Ibegan to spend more and

more time with him. Andslowlyhebegantoopenuptomeabouthislife.Hetoldmehe had two brothers and twosisters and that he was themiddlechild.Thathegrewupona farmbuiltbyhis father,Boris, in the small village ofMolien, which was aboutforty miles from Paris. Hetold me that by the time hewas twelve he had alreadygrown to a height of six feet

twoand240poundsand thathewassobigthathecouldnolonger ride on the local busthat transported the otherchildrentoschool.

Sometime after that, thegreat Irish playwright,SamuelBeckett,boughtsomelandinMolienanddecidedtomove there (there is still astreet named after him).Beingahandymanaswellasa farmer, Roussimoff Sr.

offered to helpBeckett buildhis country cottage andeventuallythetwostruckupafriendship. When theplaywright learned of youngAndré’s issues with theschool bus, he offered todrive the boy to school,explaining that he had aconvertible—the only one intown—and thus, the onlyvehicle that could possiblyaccommodateAndré’ssize.

MANDYPATINKINI’ll never forget, I was havinglunch at the commissary atShepperton with André, Rob,and Andy. And I was busytrying to connect with himbecause we had to be partnersfor thenext fourmonths,and Iwanted to bond as quickly aspossible. We were all chattingaway,andatsomepointduringthe lunch I said, “So thiswrestling thing, it’s obviouslyall fake, right?” And theconversation just stopped on a

dime.AndAndré lookedatmeandsaid,“Whatdoyoumean?”And I went, “It’s all planned,right? It’s all fake?” And hesaid, “Nooooo, boss.” And hewasserious.Andréfeltitwasn’ta fixed game. That it wasn’tdecidedwhowas going towinorlose.Hewasratherproudofthat.Heseemedveryhumbleatthat table, and very muchwanting us to believe him, andtotakehimseriously.Hewasn’tplaying games. I didn’t feel Iwas being schmoozed by him.Ever.

Andso,foratimeatleast,the Nobel Prize–winningauthor ofWaiting for Godotchauffeured the young manwho would eventuallybecome the most famouswrestler in history to andfrom school. I always saidthere might have beenanother play Beckett couldhavewritten,perhapsentitledWaiting for André. When I

mentioned this to BillyCrystal,Isawalightbulbgooff in his head. Later on hewouldmakeaverysweetfilmsemibasedonhisexperienceswithAndrécalledMyGiant.

IaskedAndréwhatheandthe famous author talkedabout when they weretogether.

“Mostly cricket,” Andrérecalled.

I can only imagine Andréplaying cricket. He must’vesentatonofcricketballsintothe stratosphere as a youth,hitting them with thatpowerfulswingofhis.

Hetoldmehewasn’tfondof school,where I’m sure hewas teasedby the other kids,anddroppedoutafteronlytheeighthgradetobeginworkingas a full-time laborer on hisfather’sfarm.Hethentookan

apprenticeship inwoodworking, followed by astint in a factory that madeengines for hay balers. IrememberthinkingAndréhadtohavebeenaproficientone-manhaybalerhimself.Boredwith these prospects, he toldme he left for Paris shortlythereafter toseekhis fortune.He said he was first“discovered” by anentrepreneurial furniture

mover who saw in theteenage André someone whocould do the work of fivemenforthepriceofone.Andthat it was while he wasshifting a couple of armoiresatthesametimeintothebackof the removal van one daythat he caught the eye of aParisianwrestlingimpresario.

“That’s when I started totravelallover,boss.”

It should come as nosurprise that the momentAndrésethisgargantuanfootin the ring at seventeen, hebecame an instant star.Within a couple of years hebecame both literally andfiguratively the biggest (i.e.,highest-paid) wrestler in thebusiness, and a householdname across the globe. Hetold me that after his firstevent fans began mobbing

him. Especially in Japan,whereitwasapparentlygoodlucktotouchor“rub”agiant.Theyfelt that if theytouchedhim,theywouldgetmagicorsomesortofpower.Andeventhough thatmadehima littleuncomfortable, that didn’tpreventhimfromgoingthereanyway.Healsotoldmethatsome of the top Japanesewrestlers were so scared towrestle him they would

suddenly “go on vacation”when they heard he wascomingtotown.

Once he started wrestlinghe basically never stoppedsince promoters would fightoveroneanothertobookhim,given that his nameon a billguaranteed a sellout year inandyearout.Iaskedhimhowmanymatcheshehadbeeninand he told me that he hadbeen averaging about three

hundred a year for the pasttwentyyears.Whichisprettyincredible. I subsequentlyfoundoutfromAndythathismatches with Hulk Hoganhad become legendary andthatoneof them,which tookplace at the PontiacSilverdome in Detroit justbefore shooting started, evenbeat out the Rolling Stonesfor the all-time record forindoor attendance at a live

event, with more thanseventy-eight thousandscreaming fans goingabsolutely ape at the sightofthese titans. The wrestlingequivalent of Beatlemania atSheaStadium!

OnedayAndrépulledoutathickwalletfromhiscanvasbag and motioned me over.AsIsatdownnexttohimheproducedfromitahandfulofwell-worn black-and-white

photos.Somewereofhimselfwith celebrities likeMuhammad Ali and otherswereofhimself inhisyouth,looking very smooth, as Irecall. I remember in one ofthemhewasdressedinaverydapper dark suit walkingdown a street in London. Inanother he was lifting anAston Martin off the groundwithhisbarehands—atalenthediscoveredwhile living in

Paris. After that he said heusedtomovehisfriends’carswhile they weren’t around,wedging them in tiny spacesor moving them around toface the wrong way. I askedhimifheeverworkedoutbuthetoldmehehadneverbeeninterested in lifting weights,which means when Fezziksays the line, “I don’t evenexercise!” it was a momentwhereartwasimitatinglife.

I also remember therebeing a few of him inswimming trunks on thebeaches of the South ofFrance or in various studiosin Paris either liftingnumerous ladies on hisshoulders or stretching hismassivearmsovertheirheadslike a bird—anotherapparently favored publicitypose.

I told him he must havebeen quite popular with thegirls.

“Oh, yes, boss,” came theresponse, followed by thatgreat, very deep laugh of his—precisely the kind youwould expect from André,andwhich,overthecourseofthemovie,wewouldallcometolove.

Meanwhile, back on set:There were the three of us,

Fezzik, Inigo, and Westley(Larry,Curly,andMoe inanalternate universe) ready tostorm the castle. Werehearsed the scene a fewtimes, making someadjustments to the timing ofmy head-flops, as per Rob’sinstructions. And, when wereached the point where hewas happywith it,we beganrolling.

However...

We got to the momentwhere I wake up from being“mostly dead” and say, “I’llbeat you both apart! I’ll takeyou both together!”, Fezzikcupsmymouthwithhishand,andanswershisownquestionto Inigo as to how long itmight be before MiracleMax’s pill begins to takeeffectbystating,“Iguessnotverylong.”

As soon as he deliveredthat line, there issued forthfrom André one of the mostmonumental farts any of ushad ever heard. Now, Isuppose youwouldn’t expectamanofAndré’sproportionsto pass gas quietly orunobtrusively, but thisparticularonewas trulyepic,a veritable symphony ofgastricdistressthatroaredformore than several seconds

and shook the veryfoundations of the wood andplaster set we were nowgrabbing on to out of sheerfear. Itwas long enough andloud enough that everymemberofthecrewhadtimetostopwhat theyweredoingandtakenotice.AllIcansayis that it was a wind thatcould have held up incomparison to the one SlimPickens emitted in the

campfire scene in MelBrooks’s Blazing Saddles,widely acknowledged as thechampion of all cinematicfarts.

Except,ofcourse,thisonewasn’tinthescript.

Atthemomentofimpact,Icouldn’t help but look up atAndré, at first wondering,like a good many others, ifwe were experiencing anearthquake and then, having

discovered we were not, outofsheerconcernforhiswell-being. The sonic resonancewas so intense I evenobserved our soundmanremove his headphones toprotect his ears. As the fartcontinued, I looked back atAndré. What struck me,besides, of course, the sheerimmensity of the wind, wasthat steam appeared to berising from his hairpiece,

which, given that it was aparticularly hot day, wasapparently not unusual forhim.

Itwas,however,combinedwith the fart itself, a highlyunusual sight. I rememberlooking up at him as a hugegrin flashed across his faceandremainedthere—agrinofboth amusement and, Isuspect, of blessed relief.Finally the roar subsidedand

the set fell completely silent.Everyone was in a state ofcompleteshock,notknowingwhat to say or do, as isusually the case wheneveranyone passes gas in public,especially in polite England.The next line was mine—“Why won’t my armsmove?”—but at thatmomentno words would move frommy lips. They were in theresomewhere,rattlingaroundin

my head, searching for anexit, but it soon becameapparent that getting them toutter forth from my mouthwasuseless.Betweenthefart,André’s grin, and thesteaming hairpiece, I wasdonefor.Icouldnothelpbutburstoutlaughing.

Then André started tolaugh,too.

Not a snicker, mind you,but that wonderful, deep

gutturallaughofhis.Then,aswasusually thecaseonmostmovies when “the giggles”(as it is commonly known inour profession) happen, itspread like a virus, hittingMandy, Rob, and the entirecrew.Nowitshouldbenotedthat when this happens on aset, some directors try to letthe cameras continue rolling,in the hopes that everyonecanregaintheircomposurein

a fairly short space of timeandgetbacktothescene.Onthis occasion that hope waspurefolly.

And so it went, for thenextcoupleoftakes,André’slinefollowedbythesoundofuncontrollable laughter. Andnot just from the three of usbut from everyone as I triedto say my line, “Why won’tmyarmsmove?”

Butitwasnouse.Wetrieda few more takes, but theywereallinvain.EverytimeIwouldthinkIwaspast it, I’dlookatAndréandhisbiggrinand the smoking hairpiece,and the giggles would eruptall over again betweenmyself, Mandy, and André.Finally Rob realized thatsomeonehadtotrytogetthescenebackontrack.

“Okay, guys, let’s try thisagain,” he said. “André, areyouokay?Youneedtotakeabreak?”

“No, boss. I’m okay.” Hepaused.“Now.”

More laughter, even fromAndré.

“All right, I got an idea,guys,”Robsaid,noddingandsmiling. “Just laugh it out.Think of the fart, and laughuntil you’ve got nothing left.

Until you’re completelyspent.Maybethat’llwork.”

We did and thenwe resetand started to shoot anothertake.

Concentrate, Cary! I saidtomyself before Rob yelled,“Action!”

ButthemoreItriednottothinkaboutthefart,themoreimpossibleitbecame.

Then Mandy beganlaughing again . . . then

André,too.And so it went. We kept

crackingup, ruiningone takeafter another, until it reachedthe point where I couldn’teven look at André withoutbothofuslosingit.Finally,Ipleaded with Rob forassistance.

“You’vegottohelpmeonthis. I don’t know what todo,” I said. “I can’t getthroughthescene.”

Rob threw an arm aroundmy shoulder, andwalkedmealongtheparapet.

“It’s all right, Cary. Justflipit.”

At first Iwas confused astowhat hewas trying to getat.

“Whatdoyoumean?”“Try to change the way

you think of André. Thinkabout what it’s like for him,being a giant and getting

laughed at just because he’sdifferent.”

IlookedoveratAndré.Hewas still smiling happily. IlookedbackatRobandknewhe was right. The truth is,Andrémayhave seemed likeoneof thehappiest andmostcontent people I had evermet.But I’msure thereweretimes when he wasn’t,especially when he was

youngerandtryingtofindhisplaceintheworld.

“Better?”Robasked.“Yeah, but now I feel

awful,”Ireplied.“Don’t. These things

happen.”Hegavemeapatontheback. “C’mon, let’s try itagain.”

Even though I still feltbad,thesageadviceRobhadgiven me worked. On thevery next take, we did it

perfectly,and that is the takethat is in the movie. AfterRob yelled, “Cut,” Iimmediately turned to Andréandapologized.

“It’s okay,” he replied,“my farts always makepeople laugh . . .Thatwas abigone,wasn’tit?”

He still managed tomakeme smile, in order to makeme not feel bad. That’s howspecialAndréwas.

The following week we shotthe actual storming of thecastle with dozens of extrasand a good deal ofpyrotechnics, includingFezzikonfireinhisholocaustcloak, with “CaptainKangaroo” hoveringnervously off camera. Wealsoshotnearlyallthescenesinvolving Humperdinck,

Rugen, and Buttercup,including her marriage anddream sequence, whichbroughtout thebetterpartofBakewell’s local populationasextras.ThatwasBill’slastweek before heading toNewYork. This location alsobrought us the amazinglytalented Peter Cook as theImpressive Clergyman withthe speech impediment andthe wonderful Malcolm

StorryasthecowardlyYellin.In the courtyardwe shot oneof the final scenes of themovie, in which Fezzikshowsupwiththefourwhitehorses.

Meanwhile, during everyfree moment, Mandy and Iwere subjected to long hoursof sword-training with Boband Peter. I would finish ascene,andjustasIwasabout

tositdown,Peterwouldbeatmyside,bladeinhand.

CHRISSARANDONHere’smyfavoriteAndréstory.Ihadtwoyoungdaughterswithme on location at the time. Itold them, “Daddy’s making amovieaboutaprincess,andI’mgoing to play the Prince, andthere’s a pirate in it, and agiant.” As soon as I said theword giant, my daughtersimmediatelywerelike,“What?!Daddy, there’s a giant in the

movie?What’sthegiantlike?Ishebig?Ishereally,reallybig—asbig as a house? Is he as bigas a car? Is he bigger than adoorway? Does he talk with areally low voice . . . or a highvoice?” They were just awedfromthatmomentonward.SoIwent to André and I said,“André, do you mind terriblydoingmea favor?Mychildrenhave talked about nothing butyou.Iwouldlovetobringthemovertomeetyou.”Andhesaid,“Ofcourse,”becausehewassoutterly charming and guileless.

So I walked my kids over toAndré’shugetrailer,whichwasthe size of a boxcar. As wewalked up the steps into thetrailer,IsawAndréattheotherend. And I said, “André, theseare my daughters.” And themomentAndréstoodup,oneofmy daughters goes,“Aaaaaaaahhhhh!” and startsscreaming in complete panic.Thenhersisterstartsscreaming.Now these two little girls arescreaming at the top of theirlungs and we finally had toleave because they wouldn’t

stop. So I go to see himafterward and I’m soembarrassed. I said, “André,please forgive me, I had noidea. They were so excited toseeyou,andyetwhentheysawyou they were just terrified.”And he just smiled andshrugged. “Don’tworry. Eitherthey come to me or they runfromme.”AndthatwasAndré.Hewasverymuchathomewithwho he was. And the waypeople reacted to him was,either they flocked to him ortheyranawayinterror.Andhe

was okay with it. There was aperfect equanimity about it.Hewasjusttheloveliestguy.

“Don’t get too comfy,”he’dsaywithatwinkleinhiseye.

The training neverstopped.EvenonmydaysoffIwouldrehearsewithBobatthe Hallam Tower Hotel inSheffield, where we werestaying. When we left for

Derbyshire, the setwherewewould be filming our duelwasstillunderconstructionatShepperton. It wasunderstood that by the timewe returned, near the end ofthe production,Mandy and Iwould be at least competentfencers, if not quite thelegendary sword mastersdescribed in the script, andthesetwouldbereadyforustopracticeon.

Since nearly all the castand crewwere housed in thesame hotel, for much of thenext few months we livedmore or less as a family.Fromthehotelwewouldbusto various locations,including Lathkill, where weshot theBattleofWits scenewithWallyShawn.

It’s funny theway certainthings fade from memoryover the years, but other,

seemingly inconsequentialthings remain embedded.Food, for example, was asource of endless discussionthroughouttheshoot.BeingaNew Yorker, Rob had beenaccustomed to working withAmericancrews,butthiswashisfirsttimeworkingwithanEnglish one. I remember thelook of disbelief on his facewhen he discovered thatBritish crews were permitted

two teabreakseachday:oneinthemorningandoneintheafternoon; and while onlocation these includedanothersandwichbreakintheafternoon. Shooting wouldcometoacompletehaltwhileeveryonehadacupofteaanda “sticky bun” or “chipbuttie,” which consisted ofFrench fries covered inmelted butter on a bun—arealtreatforyourarteries.

The first time a tea breakhappened Rob wasbewildered. Even though hemight have been warnedabout it in prep, it hadobviouslyslippedhismind.

“What the heck is goingon?” Rob asked one of thecrew.

“Tea break, guv’nor,” thecrew member said. “Half anhourfortea.”

Clearly dumbfounded,Rob responded, “You’rekidding,right?”

“No,guv.Unionrules.”By the time the crew

returnedfromtheir teabreak,Robwasfretting—orascloseto fretting as I saw himduring the entire shoot,except for thedayswhen theweather got the better of us.HeturnedtoAndy.

“Two tea breaks and asandwich break every day?”he said under his breath. “Atthis rate we’ll never get themoviedoneontime!”

David Barron, our unitproduction manager, whooverheard this, let him knowthat thiswasnotanegotiableissue. If the crew didn’t gettheir teabreaks,wemightbelookingatapotentialstrike.

“And then,” David saidmatter-of-factly, “we won’thave to worry about theschedule,aswewon’thaveamovieanymore.”

There were other issueswith catering. On our firstday on location, our lunchconsisted primarily of tinymeat-filled pastries, whichthey called chapati(pronounced “japuti”),suppliedbyanIndiancaterer.

If you Wikipedia “chapati,”besides a video of how theyare made, this is what youwill find in the way of adescription:An unleavened flatbread

(also known as roti) fromNepal,Bangladesh,IndiaandPakistan.

Now,Ihappentobeafanof Indian food, having spentsometimeinthatcountry,sothe following story is by no

means an indictment of thatnation’s extraordinarycuisine. But this story isaboutquantity,notquality.Atfirst we were all quitesurprised that we had landeda caterer that seemed to beexploringexoticfaretosharewith us all.We had illusionsthat our palettes would besatedbythemyriadofflavorsthe Far East cuisine has tooffer.Unfortunately thatwas

nottobethecase.Thesecondday brought even moreChapatis.Asdidthethird.Bythe fourth day, the rolledpastries had become arunninggagbetweenRobandChrisGuest.

Chriswouldcomeupwithnew, hilarious phrases everytime lunch-time drew near,each one delivered with thatdeadpan look of his. Iremember one of thembeing

“Fancy a fruity Chapati?”,deliveredinaflawlessIndianaccent, which totally slayedme.Chrisisalwaysthatquickwith a ridiculously brilliantline.

By the end of the week,word spread that there weregrumblings from both themouths and the stomachs ofour otherwise very patientand easygoing crew. EvenAndré, being brought up on

Frenchculinarydelights,tookpityonallofusandhisownpalate. When fans ask meabout André, for the mostpartwhat theyknowisabouthis wrestling and hislegendary drinking. Whatmost folks don’t know abouthim is that André wasactuallyarealconnoisseuroffinefoodandevenco-owneda French restaurant inMontreal. During a break in

his shooting schedule on themovie he chartered a truckand took the ferry across thechannel back to hishomeland, ostensibly to seehis folks. When he returned,though, he arrived back onthe set with a crate of pâté,cheese,foiegrois,andacrateof fine wine. The crew, whoalready loved him,worshipped him after that.David Barron tried to

confiscate the wine, lest ithavean“adverseeffectontheshooting schedule” as hetactfully put it, but Andréassured him he would “lookafter it,” which he did! SoeventuallyRobhad to let thewell-intentioned but highlyunimaginativecaterersgoandaskedDavid Barron to enlistthe services of anothercompany.Preferablyacatererthatknewhowtomakemore

than one dish, I believe,wasthepoliterequest.

ROB’STRAVELINGCIRCUS

There is nothing ordinaryabout life on a movie set,particularlywhenyoushootafilm on location for anylength of time. There is awonderful line in CameronCrowe’s movie AlmostFamous, when RussellHammond, the charismaticleadguitaristplayedbyBillyCrudup,triestoexplaintothewide-eyed, and increasinglyskeptical, adolescent

journalist William Miller,played by Patrick Fugit, theappeal of the endless nightslivingontheroad.

“This is the circus,”Hammond says.“Everybody’stryingnottogohome.”

I’ve never been on tourwith a band or with a circusfor thatmatter,but I imagineit has something in commonwith the moviemaking

experience. On most filmsyoufindyourselfsequesteredfar from homewith a tightlyknitgroupofpeople,tryingtocreate something specialwhile passing the hours inwaysmost people can’t evenimagine.

When you are on locationfor months on end, your jobalmost becomes your wholelife. You don’t go home tothewifeandkidsattheendof

the day. You have breakfast,lunch, and dinner with yourcoworkers,andintheeveningyou gather together overcoffee or a drink and rehashthehighsandlowsofthedaywhile getting to know oneanother. It canbe an intense,almost claustrophobicenvironment. But with therightgroupofpeople,andtheright director, it can also betheadventureofalifetime.

And so it was with ThePrincessBride.

Acting, by any reasonablestandard, cannot be merelydefined as just “work.”Actors do get paid to work,but we also get paid toessentially play, somethingmost people abandon whentheyenter the adultworld (ifnot well before that). In away, as I have said, there issomething very childlike in

getting to perform eitheronstage or on film. All kidsliketoplaydress-up,whetherit’s cowboys and Indians orknightsandprincesses.Whenit gets to be both fun andworkat thesametime, itcanbe a truly wonderful,rewarding experience, as itwasonthismovie.

If I had to describe ourproduction, I would say itwasmorelikeacircustroupe

than any I had been on—traveling around Sheffield,pitching tents, putting oncostumes and makeup, andstagingourshow.Ifyouthinkaboutit,wehada“show”thatinvolved giants, little people,wizards,albinos,swordfights,anddeath-defyingstunts(andplenty of clowning around),all with Rob as the ultimateringmaster. Heck, we evenhad four white horses!

Looking back I feel certainthat Bill must’ve spent somequalitytimeatthecircuswithhiskidswhiletheideaforthebook was still fermenting inhis head. When I asked himthis,hejustlaughed.

CHRISTOPHERGUESTEveryone hopes, I think, whenyou’re doing amovie that youget the cast you want and thateverything is fine. Thateverything kind of goes

smoothly.Thatpeoplehavefunand in the end the product issomething that everyone likes.You can’t really engineer thatall the time, formany reasons.Sometimes it just comestogetherand,inthiscase,that’swhat happened. Maybe it’smoreboring to say this than tosay that so-and-so was gettingdrunkandthrowingstuffoutthewindow. But it wouldn’t betrue.Itwaskindofamiraculousthing. I remember feeling thatvery same thing at the time.And I’m not just looking back

andpaintingsomerosypicture.It was approached in a verylovingway.

I also think there is areason everyone involvedwithThe Princess Bride stillenjoys talking about it morethantwenty-fiveyearslater:itreally was that much fun.Thereisacertainprideinthefinished product, of course,and of being forever

associated with such anenduringly popular movie.Butit’stheprocessitselfthatI remember most, and howmuchfunitwastogotoworkeveryday.Iwouldsayitwasas close to a perfectmoviemakingexperienceas Ihave ever had, or expect I’lleverhave.That’sararethingon a movie set, and it allstarts with the director. He

sets the tone for the wholeshow.

CAROLKANEAdirector has somuchpower.If he were to be on the set,worried to death and alwayssaying, “What are you doingnow?!” and blah-blah-blah-blah . . . as an actor, you feelthat. It tightens you up. Robwasquite theopposite.Hewassomebody trying to make amoviethatwouldpleasehimina very specific, personal way.

And that’s what works. Not,Maybe they’ll like it if I dothis? He was tickling himselfandthattickledtheworld.

Directors, like anyone inthe process of recruitingemployees,tendtobeontheirbestbehaviorwhenyoumeetthem for the first time. Theycan be generous of spirit,warm, even compassionate.Unfortunately, one

occasionally discovers fromtime to time (and in somecasesnotlongaftertheinkonthe contract is dry) that onehasbeentossedintoalifeboatwith wounded people whohave been using themediumof filmmaking to eitherexorcise their demons or airtheir dirty laundry or otherhang-upsinpublic.Whenthathappens it can be athoroughly unpleasant and

depressing prospect foreveryone on thewhole crew.One findsoneself asking,Ohboy, what have I signed onto?

CHRISSARANDONWe had such a good timemakingit.Thesetitselfwas,asyou can imagine, a lot oflaughs. It was such a collegialgroup. And we had a directorwho knewwhat he was doing,and who had a great sense of

humor.As an actor, you knowyou’reingoodhandswithRob.So you never find yourselfthinking, Oh, God, am I goingtodothisright?I’vereallybeenlucky in that I’veworkedwithsome great directors. And onone or two films I hadexperiences that I still tellstories about. Things like, justbeforeyougooncamerabeingtold that your chin is, youknow, that you’ve gotwattles...orthatyou’renotatall funny and you’re notcharming and you’re this and

that. And then it’s “Okay—action!” Literally. But Rob isneverlikethat.

Luckily for us, we had adirector who, being an actorhimself,notonlynurturedhiscast and respected theirtechnical ability, butwas thesamewithhiscrew.Robwaslike a big kid on the set,laughing, applauding,encouraging, and generally

acting like a fan aswell as afilmmaker. Any guy whogreets you with a “Hiya!”before saying your name isclearlysomeoneintouchwiththeir inner child, which is abeautiful thing. Theunpleasant alternative is ifyou happen to arrive on theset to find out you areworking with either abenevolent dictator or anarcissist to some degree.

Thenyoufindyourselfintheawkward position of havingtostroketheirego.But,everysooften, ifyouarefortunate,you find yourself workingwith someone who is asexcited as you are to makeeach day’s discovery.Someone who views theentire process as anadventure, and inviteseveryone along for the ride.

Inotherwords, someone likeRob.

CHRISSARANDONRob is calm.After a take he’llsay,“Oh,myGod,you’resucha craftsman. Thank you! Butcanwetryitagain?”Sometimesyou could see him, just offcamera,holdinghimselftokeepfrom laughing. That’s a greatwaytowork.

As I say, the director’smood and character set thetoneontheproduction,andithas a domino effect. If thedirector is miserable, theninvariably everyone else willbe, too. If he doesn’t knowwhat he is doing and showsup completely unprepared,that’s also a recipe fordisaster. However, if thedirector isconfident inhisorher talent and is fun, cool,

mellow, and so on, then youhave “lucked out,” so tospeak. Fortunately for us,Rob is a relentlessly positivekind of guy. In all honesty,unexpected British crew teabreaks notwithstanding, Inever sawhimget frustrated.In fact, I never witnessedanything even approaching atempertantrum.

He may not evenremember this, but in fact

only once during the entireproductiondid IwitnessRobbriefly get his mettle tested,and even then it didn’t lastlong. It happened when wehit a patch of bad weatherwhile filming in themountains of Higger Tor.Specifically the scene wherethe Man in Black confrontsButtercup about her“faithfulness.” In the UK,exterior filming, or

“shooting,”asitiscommonlyknown, can be a director’snightmare. The weather is,more often than not,completely unpredictable.One minute you can beexperiencingaheatwave,thenext a flood of biblicalproportions. Sometimes youget all four seasons in oneday. You can find yourselfshootingasceneinwhichthecharacters are bathed in

sunlight one moment, andthen cloaked in shadow thenext.Andthewaythatcloudsmove in England, especiallyin the Peak District, caneither be intensely fast orslow, to say the least. Bothareadisasterforadirectorofphotography trying tomaintain continuity oflightingforascene.Well,onthis particular afternoon, wegottwoseasons:summerand

fall.We started the daywithglorious sunshine, which bylunch gave way to darkclouds, and steel-gray skiesthat would periodicallybrighten just long enough togive you hope, only to dashthem moments later. Thiswent on for hours, with thecast and crew sitting aroundwaiting for a break in theweather.

ROBREINERTheweatherisalwaysanissue,especially when you’re on abudget and you only have acertain amount of money tospend, and you want to beresponsible. And the truth isyou really don’t have controloverthosethings.Youcangetalittle crazy. But you’ve got totake a Zen approachbecause . . .what can you do?Youcan’t fix theweather. It iswhatitis.

Today, thanks toCGI andother technology, lightingcontinuity is not such a bigissue. Computerized cloudcover is awonderful tool fora director to have at hisdisposal. In those days,though, shooting outdoors inEngland you were always atthemercy ofMotherNature,nomatterwhat time of year.So there we were . . . thewhole crew forced to sit on

themountainside,waitingandwatching the clouds.And, asthe day grew short, I couldsee for the very first timeRob’s confidence beginningtowane.

Directorsarebynatureandnecessity somewhat likegenerals.Theyareleadingthetroops into battle. And theenemy is time. You areconstantly fighting it, tryingtomake it your slave, trying

tocontrol it.Buton thisday,control had been wrestedfromRob.IrememberseeingAdrianBiddle,ourdirectorofphotography, a trulywonderful guy just recentlydiscovered by JamesCameron,whohadhiredhimfor Aliens, patiently holdinghis small, tinted eyepiece uptotheskytogaugethespeedoftheclouds.

“How long this time,Adrian?”Robasked.

“Could be fifteen . . .maybe twenty minutes,”camethesomberreply.

This was a long cloudcover. One that was movingat an extremely slow pace.Theworstkind.Wehadshotmost of the sequence inperfect sunshine, which iswhat we were hoping for inorder to match that footage.

This change in the climatewasnowcuttingintoprecioustime.Timewecouldn’taffordtospendjustsittingaround.Ilookedover atRob sitting inhis director’s chair. Hisnaturally upbeat demeanorhadbeguntowiltandhewasactually betraying a littledisappointment. I rememberthinkingitlookedasifhehadhis own personal dark cloudhanging over his head,

pouringalittlerain—thekindyou see in comic books orcartoons. I guess it’s mynature but whenever I seesomeone down, myinclination is to try to cheerthemup.SoIwalkedovertowherehewassitting.

“Youokay?”Iaskedhim.“It’sthesebloodyclouds,”

Rob answered, having takentousingBritishswearwords.“Butwhat’reyougonnado?”

“Notmuchyoucando,” Isaid. “I’m sure we’ll getthroughit,though.”

Unfortunately, that didn’thelp. Rob politely mumbled,“Yeah, Iguess,” thenslippedrightbackintohisfunk.

As I walked away, Inoticed Andy stroll over toRob. Then, without saying aword, he produced threeHackySacksfromhispocketand then did the most

amazing thing. He beganjuggling. Yes, you heardme . . . juggling. It was themost extraordinary andbeautiful thing I had everseen on a set or indeedanywhere, for that matter: aman trying his best to cheeruphisfriend—byjuggling,ofallthings.

I can still see Rob sittingthere, slumped in his chair,hands in his pockets, furry

hood over his head, and thatlittle, dark, rainy cloudhovering above him. Andthen something miraculoushappened. A huge smilebegantoslowlyspreadacrosshis face as he becameentranced by the simplephenomenon of three bean-filledsacksflyinginacircle.Thelittle,darkcloudbegantomeltaway.

“We good now?” Andysaid, while continuing tojuggle.

Rob merely nodded. Andthe next thing I heard wasthat laugh—that deep,booming laugh that carriedacross the peaks as theyshared a joke. That was thetype of friendship these guyshad.Youdidn’thavetopushthe right button often withRob,butwhencircumstances

dictated, Andy knew exactlywhichonetopush.

I don’t mean to convey afalseimpressionthatRobisaguy who thought that everyday was sunshine andrainbows. And I don’t doubtthat he endured someanxious, pressure-filledmomentsthatIwasnotprivyto. In fact, one of the truemanagerial genius-likequalities of a director is to

shield his cast from thosemoments and to hide theirown insecurities if they haveany. In other words to keepsomeoftheircardshidden,asRobmightput it,beingafanof poker metaphors. As alongtime thespian himself,Rob has a genuine affectionfor his fellow actors and,havinggrownuponsets,hasa great deal of empathy forthefilmmakingprocess.Heis

alsoverydecisive,whichisavery good thing in a directorwithavision.

The only other thing thatneither he nor Andy caredmuchforbesidestheweatherin the UK was, as I havealready said, the food. And,havinggrownup inEngland,I can tell you that traditionalBritish fare has never beenanythingtowritehomeabout.Today TV chefs may have

ushered in a new age ofcuisineintheUKandindeedthroughout theworld. But toan outsider at that time,especially in the hinterlandsof Great Britain, it must’veseemed like a veritableculinarywasteland.

ANDYSCHEINMANWewereout there in a foreignworld, making a movie. Wewere cut off from the real

world, especially up inSheffield. I remember walkingin on the first day and askingtheguyatthehotel,“What’sthebest restaurant in Sheffield?”And he says, “We don’t haveone.”

It’s not so much that thefood was bad; it was mostlyjustblandandunadventurous.So being decisive as hewas,Rob opted to take thematterinto his own hands and

ordered a hibachi grill to beinstalled in his suite at theHallam Tower Hotel. At theend of each day he wouldinvite us all to gather in hissuite for hamburgers and hotdogs. It was great fun, withChris, Rob, and Mandycrooning harmonies to Rob’sfavoritedoo-wopsongsasheflipped burgers on the grill.Although these partiesinvolvedabeerorsomewine

they never went on too late,aswehadearlycalltimesthenextday.

One night, right after wehad all gone to bed, the firealarm went off in the hotel.Loud, noisy, high-pitchedsirens.Thekindyoucouldn’tspeak over, they were sodeafening.Securitypersonnelbegan to immediately clearthe rooms, sending all of thehotel’soccupantsoutintothe

street. We all stood there inthe cold night air, in ourpajamas, nightgowns, androbes, while the localfiremen,whohadjustarrived,made sure that the buildingwas safe before letting usreturn to our rooms. We allsort of milled around,occasionally making eyecontact with one another,wondering which one of uswas responsible for the

mayhem.Wefiguredithadtobe someone from our crew,since we had basically takenovertheentirehotel.

No one ever officiallyowneduptoit,andIsupposeit might have been someonesneaking a cigarette in bedthat triggered the alarm. Butthat seems unlikely, as itended up happening two orthreemore times. For a longtime I was convinced that

Rob’shibachimayhavebeenresponsible and that hemust’veleftitonbymistake.WhenIaskedhimlateraboutit, he denied it with a smileand said he thought it wasAndré, who also had ahibachiinhisroom,claimingthataftereating thehoteloutof all their food for thatday,hewasalwaysstillhungryinthe middle of the night.Which is an image itself.

Sadly, André is no longeraroundtodefendhimself,soIguess we’ll never knowwhotheculpritwas.

CHRISSARANDONWe were on location togetherfor the first sixoreightweeks,and we were all in the samehotel, which doesn’t oftenhappen. It was like being at agreat summer camp. We atetogether, if not in the hoteldining room, then in Rob’s

suite.Wewouldsitaroundandeat,sing,andplaygames.Itwasjustagreatexperience.

ROBINWRIGHTAnd so we would have thesedinners four nights a week orwhatever,inRob’sroom.Allofus together, because we didn’tknow anybody else and wewere out in the middle ofnowhere. And after a couplebottlesofwinehe,ChrisGuest,andMandywouldalwaysbreakintoharmonizingoldstandards,andwewouldalljoinin.

Besides turning Rob intothe crew cook, England hadalso somehow transformedhim into a big darts fan.Notlong after he arrived heboughtadartboardandhaditset up in his suite at theDorchester Hotel, where heand Andy eventually had toredecorate the wall from allthe times they completelymissed. He even brought it

with him to Derbyshire.Strangest of all, he had alsobecome a fan of sheepdogtrials, which were ontelevision almost as often asthe darts competitions inSheffield. He was amusedthat these two shows seemedto dominate the British TVschedule. I rememberwalking into his room onenight, and there was Rob,transfixedbythetrials.

“Cary, come here . . .checkthisout,”hesaid,giddyas a schoolboy. “This has tobethecraziestsportever!”

“What is?” I asked. Robthen nodded to the TV.“Look . . . the idea is thateach dog rounds up theseeightorninesheepandherdsthem into a little paddock,right?”

Inodded.“Yes.”

“And each farmer thatowns that dog in thecompetition uses his whistleto make the dog herd thesheep into the paddock, andthefastestdogtoget themintherewins,right?”

“Right,” I said, smiling atRob’samusement.“So?”

“So . . . how dumb dothese sheep have to be?” heexclaimed, gesturing at theTV. “I mean, after the

twenty-sixthdog,they’restillconfused about where theyshouldbeherded?”

Hewasright.Itwasprettyfunny. But that didn’t stophim fromwatching the showstarttofinish.

TRUEWUV

I didn’t know much aboutRobin before The PrincessBride. Iwasn’t even familiarwith her work on Santa

Barbara, so I didn’t knowwhat to expect when I mether. I’m sure she knewnothing about me, either. Iwas only marginally moreexperienced than she was,and certainly not as popular,as daytime fans tend to beferventlyloyal.

I found myself thinking,Wow, she can act. She’sfunny. And she’s beautiful.What’swrongwith this girl?

Well, truth be told, therewasn’t a thing wrong. Evenher British accent wasflawless, which is not nearlyas simple an achievement asyoumight think. I’ve spentaconsiderable amount of timein America, and listened tomanyAmericanstrytoaffecta British accent, and it’s noteasy. But Robin has a greatear, and, like myself, Billy,andChrisGuest,shelovedto

imitate accents. Notmaliciously, but in a fun sortofway.Andindoingsomakeastudyofthatdialect.Ihavealwaysbeenthatwayaswell.Whenever I hear aninteresting accent, I feel anurge to make a study of it,too.WhichIguessgoesbackto my father, who was anincredible mimic, and to mylove for Peter Sellers, whomay have been one of the

greatest connoisseurs ofdialectsof all time.FromhisveryfirstroleplayinganEastEnd thug in The LadykillersandallthevariedrolesinDr.Strangelove to his flawless,yet wonderfully absurd,French accent portrayingInspector Clouseau in thePink Panther series, heswitchedsomethingoninmybrainasakid.

So naturally, when RobinandIarrivedinSheffieldandheard that the folks from theMidlands had a very distinctvernacular, we would findourselvestryingtofinessethesound. As we were bothPython and Fawlty Towersfans, we would watch theirmovies and shows on VHSwhenever we had somedowntimeinourtrailers.Anditwasduring that time that I

also turned Robin on to myfavorite Python, MichaelPalin, and one of his shows,called Ripping Yarns. Inreturn she and Andyintroduced me to SCTV,whichIhadneverseen.Andyarrangedforhisofficetohavethe whole series recorded,transferred from NTSC toPAL (the local format) andshipped to us on VHS onlocation.

Sheffield is also,incidentally, thebirthplaceofPalin. I am such a fan of histhat when Rob askedme forsuggestionsofEnglishcomicactors to play the ImpressiveClergyman, Palin was myfirst suggestion. It turnedoutthateventhoughhelovedthescript, he sadly had todecline, as hewas just aboutto play a character afflictedwith one of the most

notorious speechimpediments ever put onfilm: Ken Pile in A FishCalledWanda.

Rob then mentioned thatPeter Cook had also beensuggested for the role andasked me about him, as hewas not familiar with hiswork. I told him we shouldgetPeterrightawaybeforehechanged hismind, as hewaspart of one of the most

celebratedBritishcomicduoswhen he partnered withDudleyMoore in the sixties.We were lucky to get Peter,ashewasflawlessintheroleof the Clergyman with theflawedaccent.

Looking back I thinkRobin’s performance in ThePrincess Bride is vastlyunderrated. Her role was toplay the victim—the titularPrincess Bride—a young

woman who goes through alotof trauma,havinglosthertrue love, but who has toessentially look beautiful inthe process. Here is anotherdescription of her from thebook:Buttercup doesn’t care

much about clothes and shehatesbrushingher longhair,so she isn’t as attractive asshe might be; but she’s still

probably the most beautifulwomanintheworld.

That was Robin’s job: tolook like a woman whowould inspire a youngfarmhand to leave home andsetoffinsearchofwealthandsecurity so thathemightonedaybeworthyofherhandinmarriage.

Sounds easy enough,right? Most people think ifyou’re blessed with the right

bone structure, or if you justlet the makeup and lightingcrew do their work, all youhavetodoisbatyoureyesatthe camera and your job isdonewitharolelikethat.

Notquite.Buttercup falls in love,

loses her love, getskidnapped, is forced into anarrangedmarriage,reconnectswith her one true love, andthen lets him go in order to

savehislife.Itreallyrequiresa great deal of emotionalrange.Whatitdoesn’trequire—or at least doesn’t display—is the comedic talent forwhich The Princess Bride isso well known. Goldmanwrote a screenplay that wenowknowisfilledwithgreat,classic funny lines.Unfortunately,few,ifany,ofthose lines are given toButtercup. Robin is not

merelythevictiminthefilm;she is also the straight man(or, in this case, the straightwoman). And even thoughWestley is not exactly acomedian,hedoeshavesomefunny lines, and is involvedinsomeratherbroadphysicalcomedy.Robin’s character ispermitted no such relief.From start to finish, she hadto play it straight, exactly astheroledemanded.

CHRISTOPHERGUESTRobin was very young. Shemust have been in her earlytwenties, but she was soastoundingly beautiful, it wasalmoststrange,youknow?Andshe was incredibly sweet. Shedid a wonderful accent, whichisveryhardformostAmericansto do. And Cary . . . for ayoung, handsome guy, had agreat sense of humor.Fortunatelythescriptisnotjustsome straight part. It has allthese twists and turns, and he

has great lines. So it wasn’t aone-dimensional sort of younghero part; it had a lot of otherangles to it. Itwasmuchmorenuancedthanyouwouldfindina conventional script. So herearethesetwopeopleandthey’resurrounded by crazy people,basically. There are these twoevil people, myself and ChrisSarandon, and Mandy is thisout-of-controlsortofguywho’souttogetrevenge,andtherearesomeotheroddities.Butthere’sa spine of sorts, and Cary andRobin have to be kind of

regular people. That’s alwaysmuchhardertodothantobethebad guy. It’s just a dream toplay the guy in the torturechamberbecause,again,it’sfunfor actors. The other thing ismuchharder.

That kind ofprofessionalism, I’ve sincediscovered, ismore apt tobefound in actors who havehonedtheircraftonthestageorintelevision,asopposedto

movies. This is especiallytrue of daytime television. Iremember one time whenRobin and I were looking atthecall sheet togetherafteraday’s shoot, and I couldn’tbelieve the sheer volume ofworkwefacedinthemorningandthepagesofdialoguewewould have to learn. AndRobinjustshrugged.

Toher itwasnobigdeal.OnSantaBarbara shehad to

routinelybiteoffvastchunksof dialogue with virtually notimetomemorizeorrehearse.

Infact,wewereallkindofblown away by hersteadfastness andprofessionalism; how shenever dropped her characteror her accent while thecamerawasrolling.Sinceherrole is neither flashy norfunny, her performance issometimes underappreciated,

whichisashame,becauseit’sactually pitch-perfect. Shenever once overacted orreached for something thatwasn’tthere.Alloftheactionrevolves around hercharacter, and it was her jobto capture that sense ofinnocenceandhelplessness—and she did it beautifully.Some actors frequentlystumble through scenes andsometimesrequireacoupleof

takes to get it right. NotRobin.AsIrecall,shenailedjustabouteverysceneon thefirst take. She was flawless.The perfect choice to playButtercup.

WALLACESHAWNIwasimpressedbyhowhardaworkershewas.Nottobeself-pitying—I mean, obviouslybeing in amovie is easier thanbeing a coal miner—but shewasincrediblyhardworkingand

disciplined.Andyouknow,shewasclearlyinaforeigncountryand surrounded by these fast-talking, very vivacious people,who all, in a way, shared avocabulary that she didn’tknow.Andshe justdidher jobandwasgreat.

I fell in love with Robinfromthemomentwemet—asindeed did nearly everyonewhoeithermether,orgot toknow her. She is a

remarkable woman and agreat talent toworkwith.AllIrecallisthatwehadareallyfuntimeworkingtogetheronthe film. With myself as apirate. And she as a fairmaiden.Runningofftogetherin the spirit of love andadventure. I mean honestly,howmuchmore fun canyouhavethanthat?Iliketothinkthat chemistry between ustranslated onto the screen. I

have already told you howmuch fun she is just to hangwith.Butshealsobringsthatsame senseof funand joy tothe set and can light up anyroom with her smile. She isso genuinely relaxed andcomfortable in her own skinand also very focused at thesame time. Getting to playher knight in shining armoron-screen also made me feelvery protective of her off-

screen—not that Robincouldn’thandleherselfinanysituation.

ROBINWRIGHTI was absolutely smitten withCary. So obviously that helpedwith our on-screen chemistry.Andwealsoreallyenjoyedoneanother. He was and is stillhilariouslyfunny.SomuchsoIoftenendedupwithasorebellyfromlaughingsohard!

In fact, I think it’s safe tosay that everyone feltprotective of Robin. I knowthere is a famous story (thathas now actually been madeinto a cartoon!)whereRobinwas really beginning to feelthe cold chill on theDerbyshire moors whileshooting her kidnappedscenes with Mandy, André,andWally.Andshebegantogettheshivers.Andonceyou

get theshivers, it’sveryhardto stop your teeth fromchattering. So André,sweetheart of a man that hewas, devised a technique tokeepherwarm thatwasverysimple, really. Hewould useone of his hands as a hat ontopofRobin’shead.Shesaiditwaslikehavingagianthotwater bottle up there. Itcertainly did the trick; he

didn’t evenmess up her hairthatmuch!

In the years since we madethe movie, the industry hasacknowledged what those ofus who knew her back thenalreadyrealized:thatsheisanextraordinary actor. And sheseems to only be gettingbetter with time—somethingthat can be said about very

few actors. As I write thisnow, she is just a fewweeksremoved fromher triumphattheGoldenGlobes,whereshereceived the award for bestperformance by an actress ina leading role for herremarkable work as thedevious and scheming ClaireUnderwood on the Netflixseries House of Cards. Inevery role, she givessomething of herself that’s

unique.Sheneverholdsbackandhasthatrareabilitytotapinto something deeplyprofound within herself thatis appropriate for thecharacter. She is a veryobservant and intelligentwoman.That iswhy she is amarvel to watch. And I amproudtocallherafriend.

ROBINWRIGHT

It doesn’t matter how manyyears go by, I will love Caryforever. I feel closer to himbecause we worked togetherand spent so much timetogether.

VIZZINIANDMIRACLEMAX

Oneofthegreatthingsaboutworking on The Princess

Bride was having anopportunity to performalongside some of thesmartest and most giftedcomedic talents in thebusiness.Justabouteveryonein the film had a chance toshow off their comic chops,but I think twoperformancesin particular are generallyregarded as among the“funniest”inthemovie.

ThefirstisthatofWallaceShawn in the role of theSicilian,Vizzini.

I knew Wally from MyDinner with Andre, directedby the great Louis Malle, inwhichhewasboth thecostarandthescreenwriter.Thefilmcontainssomeofmyfavoritelines, many of which areperhaps very revealing andpersonal from Wally’s

standpoint; for example,whenhesays:That’s what scares us.

That moment of being face-to-facewithanotherperson.Imean, you wouldn’t think itwouldbesofrightening.

Wally, I should point out,is one of the nicest guysyou’llevermeet.Thekindofmild-mannered, amiable,polite guy who still useswords like gosh and gee as

part of his speech. And hetruly does have a “dizzyingintellect,” having graduatedwith a BA in history fromHarvard and studiedeconomics and philosophy atOxford. Which is hardlysurprising, since both hisparents were journalists forThe New Yorker—his fathereventually becoming theeditor of that magazine forthirty-five years and a very

closefriendofJ.D.Salinger.After college Wally hadoriginallyintendedtobecomeadiplomat, but insteadoptedto travel to India as anEnglish teacher on aFulbrightscholarship.

BILLGOLDMANIrememberbeingatthecastingsession for Vizzini with Roband about five or six otherpeople.AndthedooropensandWallyShawnwalksin.Hetook

onelookatusallandsaid,“Ohmy,” and then turned aroundand walked right back outagain.Wehadnoideawhatwasgoing on. Finally he waspersuaded to comeback in andreadandhewasterrific.

WhilewewereshootingatShepperton, he and hislongtime partner, DeborahEisenberg—another brilliantwriter,actor,andprofessor—invited Rob, Andy, and the

whole cast over to theapartment they had rentednear Sloane Square inLondon for drinks oneevening. I recall beingimpressed by the remarkablelibraryinthestudyandWallytellingme that it was one ofthe main reasons he pickedthe place. He also told methat during his time off hewasgoingtogivealectureatOxford on English and

American literature,something that prominentuniversitiesaroundtheworld,not surprisingly, paid himhandsomelytodo.

Still, none of Wally’s“dizzying intellect” as awriter, philosopher, orliterature professor coulddispel his insecurities as anactor. And even though Iobviously do not possessanythingclose tohis levelof

intelligence itwas somethingI could easily relate tomyself. Imaybenodolt,butinareal“battleofwits,”Iamhardly a worthy match forWallace Shawn. Frankly, Idon’tthinkmanypeopleare.

WALLACESHAWNCary is this good-hearted,lovely,fairy-talecharacter.Andthat’s what the movie issupposed tobeabout inaway.Sotherewassomethingalways

outrageously lovableabouthimduringthefilmingitself,andtothis day. He’s just a genuinelygood-heartedpersonandhewasfantastically hardworkingduringtheshoot.

And the reason for hisuncertainty? It wasn’t a caseofthefirstdayheebie-jeebiesthat I had suffered but a realfear that he was going to bereplaced. Apparently Wallyhad heard from somewhere

that Rob hadwanted anotheractor to play the role ofVizzini, and the rumors lefthim with something of aninferiority complex, as wellasanear-cripplingcaseofthejitters during production. Iremember him being averitable bundle of nervesfrom day one, starting withthe table read all the waythrough to his final day ofshooting. He told me later

that every time Rob yelled,“Cut,” after one of his takes,he felt for sure hewas abouttobefired.

WALLACESHAWNIknewIwaswrongforthepartbecause for whatever reason Ihadbeeninformedbysomeonein my agency that it had firstbeen offered to Danny DeVitoand then to Richard Dreyfussand that they had both turneddownthepart.AndIknowthat

Danny comes from an Italianbackground.IamfromaJewishbackground. But that was theleast of my concerns. MygreaterconcernwasthatIknewthat Danny would understandthe sense of humor that wascalled for by the script, andwould have done such abeautiful job.Andbeforeeverysingle shot of the film IimaginedhowDannywould’veplayed it somuchbetter than Icould. I was haunted by thatduring every single shot of thefilm. So if any agents are

readingthisbook,myadvicetothem is, don’t tell your clientthathe’sthethirdchoice.

ROBREINERWallywasfunny.Thefirstdayhemessedup a bunchof takesand kept thinking that I wasgoingtofirehimorsomething.I never thought about that.Neverevenconsideredit.Butinhis mind that’s what I wasgoing to do.He kept saying tome, “I don’t really have aSicilianaccent.” I said,“That’sokay,Wally.ThisSiciliantalks

just like you. He talks exactlylike you.” And he did exactlywhatIwantedhimtodoandhewasgreat.

CHRISGUESTIrememberadinnerIhadwithWally in thehotel inSheffield,andhekeptsaying,“Chris,thisjust isn’t going towork.Rob’sgoing to send me home. Thisisn’t going to be good.”And Isaid, “No, no, it’s fantastic!Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

ANDYSCHEINMAN

He kept saying to me, “I’mgoing to get fired, Andy! I’mgoingtogetfired!You’regoingto fire me!” And I’d say,“We’re not going to fire you,Wally.”Ididn’trealizeitatthetime,buthelatersaidhehadnounderstandingofthecomedyofthismovie.Hewrotesomethingonce about the experience, andhow miserable he was on aparticularday,orinaparticularscene. Wally is a highlyrespected playwright, but hewasamazedthatwhathedidinthis movie is as loved and

respected as anything else hehaddoneinhiscareer.It’ssucha weird thing, because to thisday, Idon’t thinkhequitegetswhyit’ssogood.

I don’t know whether hisanxieties were based on factorfiction.IdoknowthatbothRobandAndyhavesaidoverthe years that they neverseriously pursued any otheractors for the role and that

they love his performance.Justaswealldo.Robtoldmehewasnotonlyanenormousfan of Wally’s but evenfought on his behalf to havehiminthemovie.

RobalsodideverythinginhispowertocalmWally,andto coax what surely will beremembered as one of hismost memorableperformances. Much of thecredit (and this is trueofany

of us fortunate to have beencast in The Princess Bride)should rightfully go toGoldman, who scripted thecountless quotable lines, ofwhich Vizzini was givenmore than his fair share.ButWally deserves recognition,too, for the unmistakablestampheputonthecharacter,and the unique manner inwhich he delivered thoselines.

WALLACESHAWNTobehonest,Ididn’tthinkRobwas very pleased with me. Imean, he never said anythinglike, “You’re fantastic in thispart! It’s going to change yourlife! You’re wonderful in therole.”Nothing of that nature. Ithink he may well have beenpleased by the time the wholemovie was put together andedited,butIthinkthatatleastatfirst, he may have thought,Well,youknow,he’sokaybutIwishDannywere here.Letme

put it this way. I know thatBilly Crystal and Carol Kanespoke about how Rob laughedso hysterically during theirscenes that he had to leave theroom. That didn’t happenduringmyscenes.

A diminutive Jewish manfrom New York playing atyrannical Sicilian crimeboss?Inconceivable,yousay?

And yet, how perfectly itall worked. In hindsight onecannot envision anyone elsein the role. But there weresome interestingand tension-filled moments, when itseemed uncertain whetherWally would survive theproduction.

Webeganfilmingouronlyscene together, knownaffectionately as the IocanePowder scene, or more

appropriatelyas theBattleofWitsscene,inmid-SeptemberataplacecalledLathkillDale—a beautiful river valley inthePeakDistrict.

Wally, bless him, wasdemonstrablynervous.WhichactuallyhelpedmeabitsinceI was completely in awe ofhim at the time. Granted, Ihad seen only one of hismovies, but that was enoughforme.Theminutehewalked

onto the set in his beautiful,ornate red and green velvetoutfit, he looked like awonderful prince from aFlorentine fresco. PhyllisDalton had even designed amatching hat for him—a flatmedievalcapwithagreatbigred feather sticking out of it.Wally tried it on once,quickly looked at all of ourfaces to gauge our reactions,and decided not to wear it.

With apologies to Phyllis, itwasprobablyawisedecision,as it might have beenoverkill.

As we began rehearsingthe scene, IhadnonotionofWally’s insecurity, but I didnotice hewas sweating quitealot,whichstruckmeasoddbecause itwasa ratherchillyand overcast morning.Perhaps it was the heavyvelvet doublet he was

wearing,Ithought.Butaswecontinuedtorunthelines,hisanxiety and perspirationbecame more apparent. Atfirst I couldn’t understand it.Here was this man, alwaysthe smartest in the room,experienced and lauded forhis stage and screen work,concernedaboutafunnylittlesceneinafairy-talemovie.Itdidn’t make sense. It wasn’tuntil many years later that

Wallywouldrevealwhatwasinhisheadthatday,thatitallmade sense.Even now I feelfor Wally, because theschedulerequiredhimtofilmhis most difficult scene (andwithout a doubt the mostloquacious one in the entiremovie)ashisfirstmomentinfrontofthecamera.

If you’ve only seen ThePrincessBrideonceortwice,or haven’t seen it in many

years, the Battle of Witssceneistheonewiththelong,complicated passages ofdialoguebetween theMan inBlackandVizzinias theytrytooutwiteachotherandtricktheiropponentintodrinkingaglass of wine dosed withiocane powder, which is“odorless, tasteless, dissolvesinstantly in liquid, and isamong the deadlier poisonsknowntoman.”(Bytheway,

ifyouarewonderingwhetheriocane really exists, it doesnot, except in the fertileimagination of Mr. WilliamGoldman.) It might feel, inretrospect,asthoughWestleyand Vizzini are burdenedwith equal amounts oftongue-twisting, mind-bending dialogue, but thatactually is not the case. Notbyalongshot.

ROBINWRIGHTOh,hewasnervous.Hehadallthelinestomemorize.AndRobwantedhimtoreciteitveryfast.And Wally was not really anactor at the time.Hewasmoreofawriter.

ROBREINERIt’s true Wally had the mostdifficultsequenceinthemovie.The Battle of Wits was verydifficult. But you know, I’veheard from Wally, and fromotherpeoplewho’vetoldmethe

same thing, that a day doesn’tgo by when somebody doesn’tsaytohim,“Inconceivable!”Orask him to say,“Inconceivable!”

WALLACESHAWNHere’s another piece of advicethat I’m going to give to anyfilmmakerwhoreadsthisbook.It’snotalwayskindtotheactortomakehismostdifficultscenebe the first scene that he does.That can be very, very hard. Ittakes a few days or a week toget into the mood of a picture

and to get to feel comfortablewithbeinginthatfilm,andwiththe other actors, and torecognizetheirfaces,etc.Sotosuddenly have to do yourhardest scene on the very firstday is not desirable. Butobviously, scheduling acomplexfilmsometimesmeansthat’stheonlydaythatitcouldbe shot. That’s what happenedtome.Actually,weshotitovertwo days and the ghost ofDanny DeVito wasdevastatinglypresent thewholetime.

WhereasWallydidall theheavyliftinginthescene,myjob was fairly simple: to sitthere and react to hischaracter’s histrionics. Asubtlenodhere,aslightwaveofthehandthere.Onelineofdialogue to every five or sixlinesspokenbyWally.Inthescene, the Man in Blackfigures that Vizzini is tooclever by half, and that he

will ultimately tie himselfintoknotstryingtooutwithisopponent. And that ispreciselywhathappens.

Even though Wally wasunconvinced of his talent inbeingabletopulloffVizzini,it’s a beautifully craftedperformance, and it anchorsthe most hilariouslyconvoluted scene in themovie. It is both perfect and

timeless. Even though it wasstressfulforhim.

WALLACESHAWNAt my request, Rob acted outthe part. Before I would do asectionofit,Iwouldaskhimtodoitforme.ThenIwouldtrytoimitate what he had done. Soyoucouldsaythatwhatyouseeon-screen is a kind ofcollaboration. It’s 40 percentme,40percentRobReiner,and20 percent Danny DeVito.Because I was obviously in

some way imagining whatDannymighthavedone.Andalotof itwas totallyRob’s idea.Forexample,thewaythesceneends where I sort of fall oversideways dead? I would neverhave done that. Totally Rob’sidea.

EquallystressfulforWallywas his work on and aroundthe infamous Cliffs ofInsanity.Theexteriorshotsofthissequence,wheretheMan

in Black chases Buttercup’skidnappers up a cliff, wereactually filmed on themassive Cliffs of Moher inIreland, using stunt doublesfilmed from a great distanceto obscure the fact that itwasn’t really me racing upthe side of a sheer rock faceand that André wasn’t reallycarrying Wally, Robin, andMandy as he hoisted himselfup. The effect was achieved

byusingamassivecraneandpulleys to yank the stuntmenup the side of the cliffs. It’skind of funny to look at thefilm now—the way it’s soobviously not André pullinghimself up, but rather PeterDiamond wearing a bulkysuitandarubberFezzikmaskstrappedtoaharness.Andthespeed at which the Man inBlackscalesthecliff.Itreallydoesn’t matter, though. In

hindsight, it all somehowseems charming, much liketheRodentsofUnusualSize.

Our actual climbingsequences were filmed incomparative safety on thesame soundstage atShepperton where the duelwould take place, with man-made cliffs that stood onlythirty feet high. I wore asafetyharnessandwaseitherreeled in effortlessly by a

pulleyoractually fastened tothe plaster cliff for thedialogue, so it wasn’t like Ihad to do any actualclimbing. There were,however, obstacles toovercome for Wally’s team.For one thing, André’s badback precluded him fromactually“carrying”anyoneorfrom being hoisted in aharness. So the crew deviseda system in which André

could stand on a platformattachedtoaforkliftandholdontoWally,whileRobinandMandy sat on modifiedbicycle seats next to them.All would appear perfectlysafe and sound. Except foronething:

Wally was terrified ofheights.

While thirty feetofstuccoand plaster might seem safeand surmountable when

compared to the breathtaking390-foot Cliffs of Moher, toWallytheprospectofscalingeven a ten-footwall seemed,well, inconceivable. I’m surehedidn’twanttotellRobtooearly in the production, incase he might provide thedirector with another excusetoreplacehim.

Once again, though, heovercamehisfearsandturnedin an epic performance. In

reality, it was also André’scompassion and protectivenature that helped calmWally’s acrophobia. Inmanyways André really was likeFezzik:agentlegiant.

Wallymayhavehadsomeofthe movie’s most quotablelines,but ifyouwere to stoppeople on the street and askthem to name a character in

The Princess Bride besidesButtercup and Westley, Iwouldbewillingtobetthatagreatmajoritywouldrespondfirst with “Miracle Max.”This is surprising, given thatBilly Crystal, who playedMax,wasonthesetforallofabout three days andappeared in just a singlescene that spanned less thanfiveminutesonfilm.Itisalsoperfectly understandable,

giventhatthissceneisoneofthe funniest in themovie. Infact, it is so funny andstrange, and the tenor sounique, that it almost feelslike it was dropped in fromanother screenplay. But itwasn’t, of course. MiracleMax is Bill Goldman’screation, albeit onesupplemented by Billy’scomedictalent.

WALLACESHAWNI don’t like heights and Iremember I asked Rob andAndy, “Arewe really going tobe on theworld’s tallest cliffs,orwhat?We’renotreallygoingtohavetodoallofthosethings,arewe?All thosestunts?”Andtheysaid,“No,no.That’llallbedonebystuntmen.”Whichwasonly partly true, becausealthough we did not go to theworld’s tallest cliffs, we wereobligedtoactinasmallforkliftthat in my memory couldn’t

have been more than four orfive feet square, thirty-five feetupintheaironasoundstageatShepperton.Andeven thatwasmind-bogglingly frightening tome. I would never have takenthe part if I’d known we weregoingtohavetodothat!

MANDYPATINKINWally was terrified of heights,andhewasworriedthathewasgoing to ruin the whole scene.There was even a double forhimontheset,justincase.Buthe stepped up to the plate, got

onthat forklift,andhungon toAndréfordear life.AndAndréjust patted him like a little kidandsaid,“Don’tworry.I’lltakecareofyou.”I’llneverforgetit.ThemomentAndrésaid that toWally,Wallycalmeddownandstopped feeling anxious. Thenhe just played the scenebeautifully.Anditwasbecauseof André’s gentle assurancesthat Wally was able to evenbreathe!

WALLACESHAWN

Andréwasverykindthatday.Iwas physically tied to himduring the part of the film thatwas the most terrifying to me.Hehadaflaskofcognacinhiscostume that he offered me. Ideclined because itwas sort ofdizzyingup thereanyway.AndRob was very kind also. HerealizedhowpanickedIwas,sohe shot the film in a way thatminimized the need for me tobeupthere.Soheactuallygaveup some good shots out ofkindness.

Wewere twomonths intoproduction by the time Billyandhison-screenwife,CarolKane, arrived on the set onOctober 15. I had justfinished another trainingsession with Peter Diamondwhen I ran into Rob, whoinformed me that Billy hadarrived.

“CanIgosayhi?”Iasked.

“Yeah, sure,” Rob said.“He’sinmakeup.”

BILLYCRYSTALI had this fantastic makeup, acharacter that was in mywheelhouse,andadirectorwhototally trusted me and just letmego. I had the support of allof these people. It was just alittle beauty. A perfectlyconstructed three-minute scene.You’rein,you’reout.It’sreallythedefinitionofagoodcameo.

For amoment Iwonderedif I would experience theunease that comes withmeeting someone whosework you’ve long admired.As an actor, if you hangaround Hollywood longenough,andifyouarelucky,youmaygetachancetomeetsome of your idols.Sometimesit’sdisappointing;sometimes it’s exactly whatyouhopeitwillbe.

Billy was every bit asfunny and charming as I hadimagined.Heisanextremelydown-to-earth person, yetseemingly incapable of notcracking jokes and generallyjust trying to make peoplesmile.Somestand-upcomicsandsomecomicactors(Billyis both) are totally differentpeopleoff-stagethantheyareonstage. Billy is the sameperson regardless of his

surroundings.He’s genuinelyfunny and genuinely nice allofthetime.

As I entered the makeupdepartment I found himsitting in a chair, patientlyallowing his longtimemakeup artist, PeterMontagna, to go about thepainstaking task oftransforming the thirty-nine-year-oldactor intoanancientand cranky, troll-likewizard.

Wemadesmalltalkforafewminutes, with Billy grillingmeabouthowthemoviewasgoingandsayinghowexcitedhe was to be a part of it.Fascinated with histransformation, I asked himhowhecameupwiththelookforMaxandIrememberhimtelling me he wanted him tobe a cross between CaseyStengelandhisgrandmother.

Then, as Peter beganapplying the last pieces ofwrinkled latex to his face,Billy began reciting lines ofdialogue from the script,searchingforMax’scharacterashestaredinthemirror.Heeven began improvising allthesecrazyimpersonationsofeveryone who would end upinfluencing the role. It wasabsolutelyhilarious.IfeltlikeI was being treated to a

private screening of a one-manshow.

I realized at that momentthat The Princess Bride wasnot only going to be a goodmovie,ithadashotatbeingacommercially successful oneaswell.Ihadinitiallythoughtitwassuchanunusualmoviethat it was impossible togaugewhetherwehadhitthemark, letalonewhether therewasanaudienceeager to see

it.Billychangedallofthat—or,atleast,changedthewayIfeltaboutit.

BILLYCRYSTALI brought these two pictures toPeter Montagna, who was mymakeup artist at SNL, andalways did some of the greatthings that we did there, andcontinuestoworkwithme.AndI had the two pictures ofStengel and my grandmother.And we sort of just blended

them together into the rightlook.Ievenbroughtinanuncleofminewhohadasimilarbonestructure. He had long whitehair,downtohisshoulders,andPeter studied his facewhile hewas making my cast. And Iactuallydidacastofmyuncle’sfaceatthesametime.Buttherewasallkindsofstuff thatwentintomakingMax look thewayhedid.Littlethings.

He knew exactly what hewas going to do with his

character. Clearly, MelBrookswasaninspiration.Infact, in the screenplay, hischaracter is introduced asfollows:From inside the hovel a

littleman’s voice is heard. IfMel Brooks’s 2000-Year-OldMan was really old, he’dresemblethisguy.

CHRISTOPHERGUEST

Youhadthesetwopeople,BillyandCarol,madeuptolooklikethey were two thousand yearsold, and there was definitelysome giggling going on. Imean, that scene almost is aseparate part of the movie. Ithas its own style,whichworkswithin itselfbecause it really isself-contained.

ButBillyalsowantedMaxtobeuniqueinhisownright.Ihadheard therewere issues

with an earlier makeup test.That the prosthetics lookedtoo comical, almostdistracting. So he and Peterworked together for a whileinLAbeforefinallyagreeingon the look. I watched asPeterappliedeachnewsetofprosthetics, occasionallytakingastepbacktoletBillyassess the progress andpractice some lines. He’dscrunch up his face, clear an

imaginary wad of phlegmfrom his throat, and shout athisimageinthemirror.

“What!?What!?What?!”I’llneverknowwhetherhe

was willing the character tolife or perhaps just doing hisgrandmother.Maybe itwasalittle of both. Either way itwasfunny.

By the time Peter finallyapplied the last pieces ofBilly’s makeup, the wig and

contact lenses, Billy hadactually become MiracleMax.Hewas this other guy,this crotchety old man.Completely transformed.Hilarious. And once he wason the set in fullmakeup,hestayedincharacter.

I was also introduced toCarolKaneonthatday.Iwasa huge fan of her work.Besides her performance inDog Day Afternoon, I had

also been in awe of herportrayalofAndyKaufman’swife,SimkaDahblitz-Gravas,in Taxi and her roles inCarnal Knowledge, AnnieHall, and The Last Detail.Here was an actress whoseincredible body of workspanned more than a decadecoming in to do a cameo inourmovie.AndwhileBilly’sis the flashier role and theperformance people seem to

recall most vividly, Carol’swork was also outstanding,and her transformation evenmoreintense.

BILLYCRYSTALI actually said to Rob, “Whydon’t you just castMel?” Andhesaid,“Because Iwantyou!”Itwasthatsimple,andIthinkinretrospect it was, for me, theright choice.But for themovieitprobablywasalso.Becauseifyou cast Mel, then suddenly

it’s, “Oops, there’s MelBrooks!”Thatwouldbea littletoo obvious and on the nose. Iwas not on the nose. I reallywasMax.

Today you can look atMiracleMaxandyoucanseeand hear Billy’s voice. ButCarol is virtuallyunrecognizable as Max’sshrieking wife, Valerie. Sheis described in the script as

“an ancient fury.” And shewas indeed ferocious in therole. But ancient? Hardly.People don’t realize that shewas only thirty-four at thetime.

With each introduction ofa new cast member, I feltmore and more like a kid attheater camp who has beensuddenly plucked from theranks of the ordinary and

tossed onto a Broadwaystage.

With Billy and Carol, theeffectwas intensified by twofactors: the sheer amount ofmakeup and prosthetics, andthe fact that they arrived sodeep into the production andstayed for such a shortamountoftime.Tobehonest,I rarely saw either one ofthem when they weren’tdisguisedasMiracleMaxand

Valerie. And it could nothave been comfortable,slogging around for twelve,fourteen hours in thickmakeup, wearing heavyburlap costumes, and toilingunder hot lights. NormanGarwood had designed amagnificent little cabin in afake forest to serve as theirhome. It looked perfect, but,man,wasithot in thereonce

all the lights were switchedon.

CAROLKANEWhatIrememberfirstoffaboutCary is that certain kind ofnobility that he has. And thatmixed in with an extremelyimpish sense of humor.Whichis a very rare sort of combo.Because sometimes when ayoungmanoryoungwoman isthat extraordinarily beautiful,they don’t rely much on theirsenseofhumor,butIthinkthat

when you crack the nut open,that’s the delicious part insideofCary.

Not that Billy or Carolseemed even slightlydistracted by any of that.Both of them brought their“A-game,”sotospeak,andinsodoingcreatednotonlyoneof the most recognizablescenesinthemoviebutsome

of the most memorable daysoffilming.

All I recall from thosethree days of shooting atMiracle Max’s cabin is thatthey were days filled withinsane laughter. Rob said hewanted the scene to beoutrageous, so he basicallygaveBilly free license to runwith the character. Not thatBilly neededmuch prodding.From the first shot in which

cantankerous Max appears,poking his head through awoodenpeephole in thedoor(verymuch like thedoormanwhogreetsDorothywhensheandherfriendsreachOz),hebeganad-libbing.

Forthreedaysstraightandten hours a day, Billyimprovised thirteenth-centuryperiodjokes,neversayingthesame thing or the same linetwice. Such was the hilarity

of his ad-libbing that heactually caused Mandy toinjure himself while fightingtosuppresstheneedtolaugh.Therefore you can onlyimaginewhatitdidtomeandtoRob,whohad to leave theset because his boisterouslaugh was ruining too manyearlytakes.

BILLYCRYSTAL

The real joywas that theworkitself was fantastic. Thecrazinessofthemovies—anditonly happens in movies, or atHalloween—is that we go tolunch and there’s Carol, allmadeup,and I’mwithagiant,Mandy, the six-fingered guy,and we’re all sitting down tohave lunch together in themiddle of the studiocommissary.Itwashilarious.Itjustwashilarious.Icouldn’tnotbe incharacter.Onceyouhavethestuffon,youcan’tnotbeincharacter.SoI’dorderlunchin

character as Max, and it waslike, “How is the shepherd’spie?Is it spicy?Will I regret itin the morning?” And thewaitresswouldbelike,“No,sir,Ithinkit’squitelovely.”“Well,yeah, but you don’t know mycolon.”

Someoftheimprovsmadeit into the film.Forexample,when Max opens the peepdoor,theoriginalscriptcalledfor him to say merely, “The

king’s stinking son firedme...,”inresponsetoInigoaskingwhetherheisthesameMiracle Max “who workedforthekingallthoseyears.”

To better illustrate hischaracter’s bitterness towardtheking,Billydecidedtoaddthe line “And thank you somuch for bringing up such apainful subject.Whileyou’reatit,whydon’tyougivemea

nice paper cut and pourlemonjuiceonit?”

He also came upwith thetwistednotionof rating“truelove” on a scale of themostimportantthingsinlifewithasandwich.

BILLYCRYSTALWe did some improvisation. Idon’t know exactly howmuch.It’ssolongago.Robtotallyletmego,but first of all, itwas averygoodscenetobeginwith.I

think Rob wanted me to do itbecause I could bringflourishes. And it all workedreallygreat.

“Sonny, true love is thegreatestthingintheworld...except for a nice MLT—mutton, lettuce, and tomatosandwich, where the muttonis nice and lean and thetomatoisripe.”

André,dummyme,Billy,andMandy

A quote that has sincefollowedhiminsomeformorvariation into every deli and

restaurant for the rest of hislife.

BILLYCRYSTALHow could you not have fun?You’ve got a “mostly deadguy,” a giant, andMandy, andCarol.Andadirectorwholovedtolaugh.TheonlyproblemwithRobis,helaughs.Sosometimeshewouldruin takesbecausehewould laugh so hard that we’dhavetosay,“Goofftheset!Gooff the set!” He would just letmeplayaroundandfindthings,

which happened that day:“mutton,lettuce,andtomato”—that’s all stuff that justhappened.

Someofthefunniesttakeswere just too blue, which iswhy they ended up on thecutting room floor. After all,The Princess Bride is afamily-friendly PG film,meant to be appropriate andenjoyable for viewers of

nearlyallages,soasyoucanimagine we really couldn’thave Max comparing truelove to a vigorous bowelmovement, funny though itwas.Norcouldyouhavehimexplain his foul mood bysaying, “Don’t rush me,sonny. I had a difficult nightlastnight.Ifoundmynephewwithasheep!”whichcouldn’thavebeenusedanywaysincethe entire crew, and

especiallyRob,lostitafterhedeliveredtheline.

In fact, these lines andcountless others led tounusable takes ruined by usallgiggling,and ifyougo toYouTubetofindtheouttakes,you can hear us all crackingup. For those of us who hadnever worked with himbefore, we realized that allBilly needs is a receptive

audience and there is just nostoppinghim.

In some ways I had themostdifficult taskofall,asIhad to present the illusion ofsomeonewho is supposed tobe “mostly dead.” Rob toldme that I could not move atall. Not even a twitch. Iwasn’tevensupposedtolooklikeIwasbreathing,letalonelaughing, as the camerawouldbeabletoseemychest

moving. But the insanity oftrying not to laugh whileBilly was doing his ancientYiddish stand-up wouldprove impossible even forme. I think he was actuallytrying to make me crack upduring my one line in thescenewhenhepushesairoutof my stomach, and guesswhat?Hesucceeded.

Ijustcouldn’tdoit.AfterIhad botched a number of

takes, thedecisionwasmadeto replace me on the tablewith the rubber dummy thatAndré had been carryingaround.IhadtojoinRobatamonitorsetupinthehallwayoutside the soundstagewherewe had both now beenbanished by the sounddepartment for laughing toomuch.

And it should also benoted that Carol truly

enhanced themagic of all ofher moments with herimprovising as well. Shecreated the whole bit withBillyregardingthechocolate-covered pill, bringing it to alevelofhilaritythatstandsupto this day—offering helpfultips regarding ingestion anddosage:

MANDYPATINKIN

It was one of the most joyoustimes,certainlyofmylife.Icanonly speak formyself, but onewonderedwhyweweregettingpaidandnotpaying them!Theonly injury I sustained in thefilm was off camera, when Iwas delivering lines to BillyCrystal in the Miracle Maxscene. Cary was dead on thetable, André was there, and IwasoffcamerastandingnexttoRob,givingBillyhiscue lines.And Rob couldn’t take it; hewaslaughingoneverytake.Hedidn’t want it on the sound

track,sohehadtoleavethesetafterhecalledaction.AndIwasstuck there, having to hold ittogether,whilefeedingBillyhislines. I literally bruised a ribfrom holding in my laughter.That’s the only injury I got onthe whole film. And, as I’msureyouwellknow,wedidallthestuntsourselves.

VALERIE: “Thechocolatecoatingmakesitgodowneasier—butyouhavetowait

fifteenminutesforfullpotency.Andyoushouldn’tgoinswimmingafterforatleast...what?”

MAX: “Anhour.”VALERIE: “Yeah.”MAX: “Agoodhour.”

Ihavefoundthatsomeofthemost famous lines from themovie are quoted not onlywhen people are thinking or

talking about The PrincessBridebutalsowhentheyfindthemselves in circumstancesentirely at odds with thewhimsicaltoneofthefilm.

My favorite story aboutthis involves a man and hissonwhom Imetwhile IwasfilmingamovieinRochester,New York. The father toldme how the movie actuallysavedhimfromgoinginsane.

Ialwayshavetimeforfansbutthisguydefinitelypiquedmyinterest.

“How, if you don’t mindmyasking?”

He proceeded to explainthat he had been on activeduty in the military and hadrecentlyreturnedfromalongdeployment in Iraq.His basehad been located in a highlydangerous area. There werelots of snipers, IEDs, and

mortar fire, he told me. Andafter losing a lot of hiscomrades, morale among theunit had sunk to an all-timelow.Soeverynightfromthatpoint on, before the soldierswentout intheirHumveestosecuretheperimeterorgoonpatrol, their commandingofficerwouldgivethemtheirordersandsendthemontheirwaywiththesewords:“Havefunstormingthecastle!”

CAROLKANETherearesomanyopportunitiesfor anything to fall apart thathopefullyyoucan take real joyintheprocess,becausethat’sallyouhave.Anythingelse is justsome extra added incrediblebonus.What I took away withme was that this process wasjusttwinklinginsomeway,thatthis groupof people that Iwasin that room with, each andevery one of them, were soextraordinary and soextraordinarily well cast that

each day was delicious andvaluable, and I was verygrateful. I think that’s the oddthing about the movie: we allfeltthatway.

“Thankstoyourmoviewewereallabletocompleteourmission on that base, as ourCOwasable toalwaysmakeus smile before heading out.And that did a lot formorale.”

I was very moved by hisstory. I guess you just neverknow how your work canaffectpeople.

The only two actors fromRob’s Traveling Circus thecast didn’t get to spend a lotof timewithwerePeter FalkandFredSavage.The scenesbetween Fred as the sicklygrandsonbeingreadtobyhis

grandfather, played by Peter,were shot just a few doorsdown on L stage, long aftermost of us had wrapped themovie.And,althoughInevergot to work with them orevenwatchtheirscenes,Ijustwant to acknowledge justhow marvelous I think theyboth are in themovie. I wasnot aware of Fred’s talent atthe time but had, of course,caught many episodes of

Colombo as a kid. Theirmoments together reallyanchor the whole movie andthey are played with suchlovingtendernessthat,formethey are some of the mostmovingonesinthefilm.Falk,incidentally enough, wasconcerned that he wasn’tactually“old”enoughtoplaythe part of the grandfatherconvincingly,beingfifty-nineat the time. And he

apparently arranged for themakeup department to putprosthetics on his face tomake him look older. Butafter he saw the dailies, heturned to Rob and said hethought he looked like a“burnvictim.”

CAROLKANEI think my first day ofshooting the makeup tooksomethinglikeninehours.So

I was sitting up in this chairand they were shootingalready,anddoingthepartsofthe scene that I’m not in. Itwas very frightening for mebecause they had all beenworking together for severalhours before I was allowedout of themakeup chair. Butthen it just was somuch funand you know certain thingswere improvised, like thething about the chocolate.But, of course, Billy is themaster at that. The absolute

master. It was almostimpossiblenottolaugh.

FREDSAVAGEIrememberPeterwasinoldermakeup and he felt like itmadehimlooktooold.Sowehad to shoot it again withdifferentmakeuptomakehimlook younger. He was sowonderful.Noonewaskinderand more patient, and mademe feel more comfortablethan Peter. Honestly, I don’t

evenrememberwhenwewereshooting orwhenweweren’tshooting.Hewouldsitinthatchair, and I would be in thatbed,andhewould talk tomeall day. I grew very fond ofhim.Over the years he and Iremained in contact. I hadgreataffection forhim. Iwasso devastated, as so manypeoplewere,when he passedaway.That’swhatIremembermorethananything:Peterandhiswarmth.I forgotallaboutacting or even shooting a

movie. He just kind ofbecamemygrandfather.

ACOUPLEOFMISHAPS

Filmmaking is not aninherently risky business,

especially for those of usfortunate enough to beworking in front of thecamera. And, unless you areTom Cruise, it is usuallystuntmen and -women whohandle the vast majority oftasksthatcouldbyanystretchof the imagination beconsidered dangerous. Andeventhen,everyprecautionistakentoensurethesafetyandhealthofeveryoneconcerned.

That’s why there are safetymeetings where the first ADand the stunt coordinatorexplain the stunts to the castand crew and how to keepthem and anyone else fromgettinginjured.

That said, ifyou’reyoungandrecklessenough,youcanprobably find a way to getbanged up in the course offilming a movie. Which isprecisely what happened to

meonthesetofThePrincessBride.

Twice, infact,althoughintheinterestoffulldisclosureIshouldpointoutthatonlyoneof the injuries was incurredwhileIwasactuallyworking.

The first injury happenedwhile Iwas simply behavinglike someonewhose senseofadventure exceeded hisaptitude.

It happened in lateSeptember, while we wereshooting the scenewhere theMan in Black tauntsButtercupabouthertruelovefor the Farm Boy, with theline “Life is pain, Highness.Anyone who says differentlyissellingsomething.”

Another pricelessGoldmangem.

Little did I know that Iwould experience true,

agonizing “pain” onlymoments before I coulddeliver the line. Moreover, Iwould be the one trying to“sell something” different,justtocovermybutt.

ThespotthatRobchosetoshoot this sequencewashighuponahilltopaboveasheerravine inaplacecalledCaveDale in Derbyshire. Andréhappened to be there, as hewas practicing with his stunt

double, Terry Richards, forourfightscenelateron.Earlyin the shoot it becameapparent to the crew that itwas going to be difficult toget André to any of theseexterior sets since his sizeprevented him from fittinginto the transpo van and hishealth precluded him fromwalkingtoandfromthemanysteep, mountainous locationswe were using. Therefore,

production decided to renthim an all-terrain vehicle(somehowtheyfoundonebigenough to accommodatehim),andhejustlovedit.I’llnever forget the image ofAndré darting around on hisATV, laughing loudly—thealready noisy machinegroaning from the weight ofhim.Itwasasighttobehold.He could bring the wholecrew to a standstill. What

reallymadeitcompellingwasthat he clearly had a greatcommand of the vehicle andknewwhathewasdoing.

“I haveone just like it onmy farm at home,” heexplainedtomeoneday.“It’sfun, boss. You should try itsometime.”

Forreasonsrelatedtoboththe acknowledged rules ofprofessional conduct andgeneral self-preservation, I

politely declined. Actors inthe midst of a movieproduction are expected torefrain from activity thatmight in any way jeopardizetheirabilitytoperforminthefilm. This includes a broadrange of activities, from themerely stupid to the outrightdangerous. Generallyspeaking, these things wouldnormally be written into acontract, which is

understandable, really. Ifyouare a movie studio investingmillionsofdollarsinamovie,you have a right to expectthat your star (again, unlessyouareTomCruise)willnotgo off bungee-jumping,skydiving, parasailing, rockclimbing, dune-buggying, orATV off-roading in themiddle of the production.Even though theremay havebeen a clause inmy contract

stating as much, commonsense dictated that I exerciseprudenceandcautionwhenitcametothesethings.

ButAndrédidn’tgiveup.“No,boss,really.It’seasy.

You’lllikeit.”I remember walking back

from lunch to one of thetranspovansthatwoulddriveus all up the steep hill tobegin shooting, and InoticedAndré sitting on his four-

wheeler by the side of theroad, chattingwithTerry.AsIneared thevan, Iheard thatbigboomingvoicecallouttome.

“Hey,boss!Comehere!”Isensedwhatwascoming

next, but I walked overanyway.

“Youwant to trymy toy?C’mon. You know youwantto.”

I don’t know what cameover me—what possiblereasontheremighthavebeento throw caution andprudence to the wind—butsuddenly I could hear thesewordsescapingmylips.

“Sure,whynot?”Withinamatterofseconds

Iwas sittingastride thegreatvehicular beast, whichseemed significantly largerand more powerful up close

than it had from a safedistance. I should haveknownbetter,notonlyfortheaforementioned reasons butalso because I had noexperience whatsoever on anATV.

Terry, who wasresponsible for shepherdingthe vehicle when Andréwasn’t using it, gave me aquicktutorial.

“Clutch is right here,” hesaid.“Putyourfootonitlikethis”—he pressed downwithhis own foot, then releasedthe clutch. “Brakes are uphere.” He then squeezed thebrakes on the handlebars.“It’sjustlikeamotorbike.”

“Oh,okay.Cool,”Isaidashe started up the engine. Itwas indeed loud. Louderwhenyouareactuallyonit.Abig grin came over André’s

face.Hewashappytoseemeabout to venture off on myfirst ATV ride. I had nohelmet or protective vest. Infact, I was armed withnothingbuthubris.

I released the clutch, andrather than easing slowly offthemark,thewayithadwhenAndréhaddrivenit,theATVlurched forward, practicallythrowingmefromthesaddle.I heldon fordear life, like a

rodeo cowboy leaving thestall on a bucking bronco. Itmust’vebeenacomicalsightto the bewildered crew,watching me awkwardly tryto master this four-wheeledbike. After aminute or so, Igotmybearingsandbegantofeel a bit more comfortable,soIfoolishlydecidedtoshiftgears. As I applied the gas,the vehicle bounced over athick patch of rocks, andmy

foot slipped from the clutchand becamewedged betweenthe pedal and one of therocks, which caused theengine to sputter and stall. Ilooked down to see that thebig toe on my left foot wasbentstraightdownward.

If this sounds painful,believe me, it was. I let thepain wash over me inexcruciatingwaves.Icanstill

feel it to this day as Irememberit.

It’s an odd and no doubtparticularly male reaction tofeign indifference whenconfronted with injury in apublic setting, especiallywhen that injury is the by-product of one’s own foolishbehavior.IlookedbacktoseeTerry rushing toward me,alongwith several concernedmembersofthecrew.

As they drew near, I heldup a hand and tried to smilethroughthepain.

“I’m fine. It’s allgood...”

ButIwasmerelytryingtoputonabravefront—kindoflike the Black Knight inMonty Python and the HolyGrail proclaiming, “It’s onlya flesh wound!” after havinghislegshackedoff.

Inreality, thethrobbinginmyfootwas starting tobuildin intensity. But the initialpain and shock quickly gaveway to sheerpanic.Thiswasamajor shootingday forme.One where I would have todo a lot of walking around.Evenrunning.Nottomentionthe daily fencing practice.HowtheheckwasIgoing tofakethat?Iwassoscaredandnervous, not only that I’d

probably get a serioustalking-tofromRobforbeingso stupid and irresponsiblebut maybe I’d even bereplaced.Afterall,howcouldIswordfight if Icouldbarelyeven walk? So out of utterfear,IdidthedumbestthingIcould have done. I pleadedwith those present not to sayanything.

“I’ll be fine,” I said.“Don’tworry.”

TheycouldclearlyseethatI was not. A medic wassummoned, and, fortunatelyforme,likemostmedics,shewasalsoa trainednurse.Shecarefully removed my blacksuede boot and sock, anenormouslypainfulprocessinitself, and then tenderlystudied my swollen big toe,whichwaspointingatanoddangle.

“Doesthathurt?”shesaid,touchingitgently.

“Mmm-hmm.” I winced,clenching my teeth. “Alittle...”Meanwhile my toe was

sending my brain messagessaying, Scratch that—a lot,dummy!

“Well, it’s definitelybroken,” she said. “Youshould probably go to thehospitalandgetitX-rayed.”

“Oh,no.Ican’tdothat,”Isaid, sounding more fearfulthan courageous. “Not rightnow. We have a scene toshoot. It’ll be okay. We candoitafterwewrap.”

She looked at me as if Iwere crazy. Maybe this guyhithisheadaswell?

Fear had definitelyclouded my judgment; Iwasn’t thinking rationally. Iknew exactly what the

shooting schedule entailed. Iknew the way Rob liked towork. By now I had hit mystride with him, on mostoccasions printing my firsttakes and moving on to thenext setup. I knew that wewouldbeinthislocationonlyfor thisoneday,and that if Iwereunabletoshootwhatweneeded to get, we’d have tocome back at a later date tocomplete it. Meaning, they

would have to postpone myscenes and basically changethe whole schedule while Igotcheckedoutandtreated.Ialso knew that the doctorswould most likely suggestthatIshouldn’twalkonitfora few days, perhaps even afewweeks,whilemytoewasput in a cast or a splint andallowedtohealproperly.Thewhole thing would cost timeand money, and that would

all be on me. All thesethoughts and more wererunning through my head atthatmoment.

I knew actors had beenfiredforlessegregiouslapsesinwisdom.Eventhoughheisnot the freaking-out type, Ienvisioned Rob questioningwhether I was worth thetrouble I had caused. I’d bedone. That would be it, Ithought. They’d have to find

another Westley. It wouldthen hit the press and mycareer would be over. Afterall,whocouldblamethem?Itwas all my fault. I was thecretin who didn’t have thesense to stay off an ATV inthe middle of production.Whywasteanymoretimeonme?

You see, it’s one thing toget hurt while shooting ascene. If you get injured

while filming, then everyoneunderstandsandfeelsbadforyou. “Tough break, man.Don’t sweat it.Gohomeandrest, and then come backwhenyou’reallbetter.”Bondcompanies have insurancepoliciesthatcoverthesekindsof things so the producersdon’thavetoworry.

But . . . if, on the otherhand, you injure yourselffooling around off the set,

that’s awholeotherkettleoffish. Sure, accidents happen.But thiswas an accident thattotally could have beenavoided. I had brought it onmyself by messing aroundwithatoythat,inhindsight,Irealizewasn’t really a toy. Itis a dangerous machine. Amachine I obviously did notknowhowtooperateandhadno business even trying tooperate. There was a lot at

stake here: jobs, money,insurance issues. It was apotentialdisaster.

Foolishly, rather thancomingclean,Ichosetohideit. In other words, I tried togetawaywithit.

“Please,” I said to themedic and the genuinelyconcerned crew membersstanding around. “Don’t tellRob.I’mgonnabeokay.”

I remember Terry saying,“I think he’s gonna find out,mate. I mean, your toe isbroken!”

I turned to the medic. Iwas desperate at this pointand starting to sweatprofusely.

“Isthereanythingyoucando?”Ipleaded.

Shegentlycuppedmyfootinthepalmofherhand.

“I suppose I could do atemporarysplint.”

“Really?Will it work?” Iaskedhopefully.

She explained that thereisn’t much else you can dofor a busted toe. It wasprobably what the doctorswould endupdoing anyway,sincetoesaretoosmalltoputinacast.Shesaidtheywouldmostlikelyalsorecommendalot of rest and ice. But, if

movement is necessary, asmallsplintcouldpossiblybeutilized, even though nothighlyrecommended.

“Dotheyhavetodothatata hospital, or can you do itrighthere?”Iasked,tryingtomaskthepanicinmyvoice.

Shenodded.“IthinkIcandoithere.But it’sstillgoingto hurt. I mean, in otherwords, it’s still going to feellike you have a broken toe,”

shesaid,tryingtoreasonwithanunreasonableperson.

“Great,” I said. “Can youpleasetry?”

NaïveasIwasatthetime,Ididn’trealizethatbyaskingher to do this for me, I wasprobably putting this poorwoman’s job on the line aswell as all those present byasking them not to sayanything.Ididn’tevenrealizethat shewould have tomake

out a medical report thatwould have to go toproductionanyway.

But I wasn’t thinkingproperly. Iwaswilling to tryanything at this point. Likemost Brits, I came from thatstoic background of thewhole “The show must goon!” thing. In other words, Iwas willing to do whateverwasnecessarytogettheshowback on the road. Themedic

openedherlargefirstaidbagand began crafting amakeshift splint. Meanwhile,oneoftheADshadshownupwith a walkie-talkie to findout what all the fuss wasaboutand,moreimportant,tobringme to theset. I tried toenlisthimnottosayanythingaswell.As if thatwasgoingto work with a man with awalkie-talkie whose job Iknewverywellwastoreport

any reason for delays to thefirstAD.Iwassoblindedbyfear,Iwasinvolvingallthesepoorpeopleinmyhalf-wittedconspiracy to keep the veryperson who needed to knowthetruthfromknowingit.

Nowwehadanotherissue.My footwouldn’t fit back intheboot!Great!

So we summoned awardrobe assistant and askedforherhelp.

“I need a favor,” I said.“Can you cut a hole in theback of the boot in such away that it won’t show oncamera?”

By now an even largercrowd had begun to gatheraround. Had I been thinkingproperly, I would haveknown, obviously, that withthis many people watching,word would eventually getback to Rob. But, like a

soccer player trying to hidean injury, I was focused ononly one thing: getting backontothefield.

Ievenbegantryingtofoolmyself that it was going towork. Here was my insanelogic: With the splintanchoring my damaged toeand my sock covering thesplint, it would be fine. Thesock was also black; thatway, if the camera were to

pick up the hole in the boot,the glaring white bandageholding the splint in placewouldn’tshowup.Itmightjustwork!Whatabuffoon!My toe, however, wasn’t

having any of it. It was stillsending my brain moremessages. Nagging thingslike, Really, dude? and Areyouserious?

Eventually I was able tostuff my poor swollen messof a foot into the modifiedboot.Themaneuveritselfwasinsanely painful. But, I haddeluded myself that once itwason,andIwasbackonmyfeet, everything would beokay.

ClearlyIfiguredwrong.AssoonasItriedtotakea

step,itwasapparentthateventhrough my toughest grit, I

wasn’t fooling anyone, leastof allmyself. I wasn’t goingto be able to walkwithout alimp, let alone run or fight aswordfight.

I’ll just have to fake mywaythroughit,Ithought.TheAD helped me limp over tothe transpo van and I wasthendrivenupthelongravineto the set. Itwasperhaps thelongest drive I have evertaken. Everyone in the van

was silent. They wereprobably thinking, Thisdeluded actor is out of hismind,poorsod!

As soon as we arrived, Iput on the bravest face Icouldmuster, hopped as bestI could out of the van, andwalkedrightovertoRoblikenothing was wrong. Justeating the pain the wholeway.

“Heya,Cary!Howareyoudoing,buddy?”hesaidwithabigsmile.

Ifrozeforananosecond.Hadsomeonealready told

him? Could this possibly bemy last day on the movie?Oh, please, don’t let it beso...

“Good.Thanks,”Ireplied,prayingthatmyface,whichIwas unaware was already

sweating, didn’t betray thestrain.

“Everything okay? Noproblems? You’re feelinggood?”

“Yeah.Absolutely.”Mybrainreceivedanother

“toe message”: Hello?Anybodyhome?

HesmiledinthatwaythatonlyRobcould smile. Itwasabig,close-mouthedone.

“So . . . when were yougoingtotellme?”

“Tell you what?” Istammered, giving possiblythe singleworst performanceofmycareer.

He just kept on smiling. Icouldtellhewasn’tbuyingit.I thinkheevennoddedabit.The kind of nod that says,Uh-huh.

Finally,Icouldn’tkeepupthepretenseanylonger.

“I am so sorry, Rob. Idon’t know what I wasthinking.”

He looked deep into myeyesandthenspoke.

“Don’t worry about it,Cary,” he replied. “But yougotta know you can tell methese things, all right?We’reallinthistogether.”

He seemed hurt that Iwould try to lie to him.Andhe was right to. I felt like

such a numbnut. I tried toexplainthereasonbehindmysecrecy. That I wasembarrassed,butalsoworriedthat he’d be forced to shutdownproduction.Or,perhapsworse...

“I thought you mightactuallyletmego.”

He seemed almost morehurtbythatremark.

“Are you crazy? Whywould I do that? You’re

perfectforthisrole.”“I dunno. I feel like a

complete twit. Please forgiveme.”

“Don’t sweat it.” He thenlooked down at myhopelessly and obviouslymakeshiftboot.

“Canyouwalk?”“Yeah.”“Canyourun?”“I don’t know. I haven’t

really tried yet. But I’ll

certainly give it my bestshot.”

“Okay, well, we’ll justhavetofilmarounditifneedbe.Justdon’tbeafraidtotellme anything. I’d be moreupsetifyoudidn’t,okay?”

I nodded sheepishly.“Okay.”

ROBREINERIonlyfoundoutCarybrokehistoebecausesomebodyhad told

me, “You’re going to seeCarycan’t walk too good.” He waslimping around, obviously inpain, but it didn’t bother hisperformance. Imean, he didn’thavetodoanythingphysicalatthat time, but if you lookclosely at the film, when he’sonthetopofthemountainwithRobin, before she pushes himdown the hill, they have thisscene and he sits down, andhe’sleaningupagainstthislog.Andyoucanseethewayhesitsdown,withhislegextended,hedidn’t want to put any weight

on it. And when he did it, Ithought,Wow!Whatanelegantwaytositdown.Ididn’trealizethat he just couldn’t put anyweightonhisfoot.

ANDYSCHEINMANIt’ssofunnybecausenoweverytime I see that scene, it’shysterical. Because all Cary isdoing is basically trying toprotect a broken toe. And thefirsttimeIsawitIjustthought,Whatacoolmove.Youknow?Those are the kinds of thingsyouremember.WhenIwatchit

today, all I can think about isCary having a sore toe, notanythingaboutthescene.

He hugged me, and I felthisgenuineloveandsupport.What a mensch. I couldn’tbelieveIhadbeensodumbastotrytohideitfromhim.Butwhen you’re young,sometimes you do dumbthings. Like trying to showoff your lack of skill on an

all-terrainvehicletoaslightlybemusedcrew.

I learned a couple ofvaluable lessons that day,ones I’ve carried with methroughout my life andcareer. First of all, never tryoutanewsportona filmsetunlessthepartcallsforitandyou are properly supervised.(Iwillcertainlyneversetfooton an ATV again, that’s forsure!) Second, always be

open and honest, not onlywith your director but witheveryone.Thetruthisalwayseasier.

The fact is, not everydirector might have been ascool as Rob was about it.When we finished shootingfor the day, we had anothertalk.OneinwhichRobmadeit clear that while he wasn’tangrywithme, hewanted tomake sure that I understood

the ramifications of myactions.

It was a fatherly pep talkabout responsibility andprudence.Iwasinpracticallyevery scene of themovie, heexplained. We still hadextensive and complicatedsword-fighting sequences toshoot.Therewas a lot ridingonmyhealthandviability.

Lookingback, I think thatwas justifiably his biggest

concern: that my footwouldn’theal in time to filmtheduel.Don’tforget,wehadcommitted to staging itwithout doubles. In manycasesyoucanworkaroundaninjured actor. But when itcame time for Westley tosquare off against Inigo, ithadtobejustMandyandme.And we both were expectedtobeatourbest.

“I appreciate it, Rob,” Isaid.“I’llbe readyby then. Ipromise.”

“Okay, good. Your healthis always more importantthan amovie—always!”Robsaid.“Youshouldknowthat.Butweneed to knowwhat’sgoingonatalltimes.”

The truth was somewhatmurkier, however. I reallyhad no idea whether my toewouldhealintimeornot.All

IknewwasthatatthatinstantI was filled with enormousregret and embarrassment.And that my toe hurt reallybad.

Immediately after wrap IwastakenstraighttothelocalhospitaltogetaproperX-raydone and a full examination,the results of which echoedthe medic’s preliminaryassessment. I had indeedbrokenmyleftbigtoe,which

had been bent completelydownward when it wassandwiched between theclutch pedal and the rock.The doctor at the hospitalremoved themakeshift splintand applied a newer, smallerone. It would smart for awhile, he said, but therewasn’t much that could bedonetoacceleratethehealingprocess. The best course oftreatmentwas to stay offmy

feet.HerewasadoctortellingagrownmandressedasZorrotostayoffhisfeet!

Oh,boy!Best-case scenario was

thateventhoughitwouldstillhurt, I might be able to atleast move about relativelyfree of limping inapproximately two to threeweeks. I knew the scheduleprettywellbythispoint.Theswordfight wasn’t scheduled

untilNovember,soIfiguredIhadtimetohealandgetreadyfor themost physical part ofthe film. Up until that point,I’d just have to fake anyscenes involving running orjumping. And rely on themagicofcinema tomask theseverityofmyinjury.

ButI’dbe lyingifIsaidIwasn’tstillcompletelyrackedwith guilt and anxiety overthewholething.Weweresix

weeks into production. DeepbutnotsodeepthatIfeltlikeIcouldn’torwouldn’tstillbereplaced,Rob’sdeclarationtothecontrarynotwithstanding.

Over thenextcoupledayswe had to figure out how toexecute the reveal scenebetween Westley andButtercup, despite the factthat I was hobbled by abrokentoe.NotquiteMisery-style hobbled, thank

goodness, but hobbledenough. In true Hollywoodfashion, much of this wasaccomplishedwithsmokeandmirrors,as theysay.Weshotour scene on top of the hillwith the Man in Blacktaunting Buttercup about herlove for Westley, then thesequenceofthembothrollingdown the hill with Westleyyelling, “As . . . you . . .wish,”whichIdidinpost.A

shot that thankfully hadalwaysbeenplannedwithourstuntdoubles,AndyandSue.Robin and I then took ourplaces at the bottom of theravine, where Buttercup andWestley are reunited,apparently no worse for thewear after careening severalhundredmetersdownasteephillside packed with rocksandotherobstacles. It shouldbe pointed out that by this

point theMan inBlack isnolonger the Man in Black, ashismaskhasfallenoff.HeisonceagainWestley.

“Can you move?” asksWestley. An interestingquestion since I could barelymovemyself.

“Move? You’re alive—ifyou want I can fly,” repliesButtercup.

During this sequence, ifyoulookclosely,youcansee

that my leg is positionedoddly just prior to themomentwhenWestleycrawlstoward Buttercup. That’s noaccident.Thatismetryingtofind a comfortable positionfor my poor, very swollenfoot.

Moments later, Westleyand Buttercup scramble totheirfeetandracetowardtheFireSwamp,intheapparentlysuicidal hope of eluding

Prince Humperdinck’ssoldiers.

Again ifyou lookclosely,you can clearly see that mycharacterhasanoticeablehopin his step.My apologies forthat. Idid thebest I could tohideit,butastrangeskipwasall I could manage.Fortunately, since Robin andI were supposed to runtogetherwhileholdinghands,

I convincedmyself it lookedappropriatelyawkward.

Fleeing, after all, is rarelyagracefulexercise.

And neither is fencing,unfortunately, when you canbarely walk. Nevertheless, Iwas allowed only a smallreprieve from training. PeterandBob came to seeme themorning after my injury,asked how Iwas feeling, butexpressed only a little bit of

sympathy (which, to behonest, was about all Ideserved). They thensuggested we get back totraining the very next day.Which we did. There wasabsolutelynomessingaroundwith these guys. They wereconcerned enough as it wasaboutnothavingenoughtimeto train Mandy and meadequately to meet thedemands of the screenplay

and the schedule. If wecouldn’tconvincinglyportraytwo men capable of staginganepic swordfight, then theywould bear some of theresponsibility. Failure wasnot a word in theirvocabulary. Neither wasexcuse.

“Can you move yourarms?”Bobaskedme.

“Yes.”

“Good,thenyoucantrain.Don’t worry about yourfootwork,” he said. “We’lljust rehearse from the waistup. The arm movements arethe key anyway. In the end,that’s what the audience isgoingtobewatching.”

So for the next coupleweeks, I trained whilestanding in place, goingthrough the entire fightsequencewithoutmovingmy

feet, or by moving veryslowly and carefully. Itactually proved to be aneffectivemethod, almost likecross-training: by focusingonlyonthearmmovements,Ideveloped a deeperunderstanding of the swordchoreography involved in thefight.Iguessyoucouldsayitwasanunplannedbenefit.

A lesser injury occurredabout a month later in

Burnham Beeches forest inBuckinghamshire, not longafter thepain inmy foothadfinally begun to subside alittle. We were filming thesceneinwhichButtercupandWestley, having survived theFire Swamp, find themselvesexhausted, filthy, andambushed by Humperdinck,Rugen, and a bunch ofcrossbow-toting Florinesesoldiers. When it becomes

apparent that there is nochance of escape, ButtercupbartersforWestley’sfreedomby agreeing to return withHumperdinckandbecomehisbride, an acquiescence thatsurprises both the Prince andWestley. Humperdinckagrees,albeitduplicitously,ashe has no intention offollowing throughonhisendof the bargain. Before ridingoff with Buttercup, he says

quietly to Count Rugen,“Oncewe’reoutofsight,takehimbacktoFlorinandthrowhimintothePitofDespair.”

AsdrawnbyGoldmanandplayed marvelously by ChrisGuest,Rugen isadeliciouslymalevolentcharacter,withanevil glint in his eye and anInquisition-style zest fordoling out pain andpunishment. A menacingfigure indeed, and the glee

with which he acceptsHumperdinck’sordersisbothhumorous and hateful as herepeatsthePrince’sfakeoathto Buttercup to returnWestley to his ship, back tohim.

“Iswearitwillbedone!”Moments after

Humperdinck leaves withButtercup, Westley noticesthe strange glove worn byRugen.

“You have six fingers onyour right hand,” Westleysays. “Someone was lookingforyou.Hewas...”

But before he can finishhis sentence,Rugencutshimoff by hitting him over thehead with the butt of hissword, knocking himunconscious.

I know I have said thisabout everyone in the cast,but it is true: Chris Guest is

one of the nicest people youwillevermeet.Heisalsooneof the funniest. You onlyhave to look at his body ofwork before and after ThePrincess Bride to know that.This Is Spinal Tap, WaitingforGuffman,BestinShow,AMighty Wind, and For YourConsideration, tonamebutafew.Forme,all Ihave todoislookathisfaceandIcrackup. The man is a comic

genius.Whichonlymadehisportrayal of Count TyroneRugenevenmoreimpressive.Of all the actors whoperformed in The PrincessBride, I would say Chris isthe onewho had the least incommon with his character.Ironically, given that he issuch a great comedian,Chrisonlyhasonefunnylineinthewholemovie,whenhesaystoHumperdinck, “Get some

rest. If you haven’t got yourhealth, you haven’t gotanything.”

CHRISTOPHERGUESTMovie stunts involving contactwithweapons or fists require acertain technical way ofshooting them. Like whenMandyslashedhisswordacrossmyface inourduel,dependingon the camera angle we couldfakethatbecausewhenwewereshootingovermyshoulderonto

him, you could see the swordcomingtowardthecamera.Butwhen we shot the reverse, thesword was actually nowherenear my face, even though itlooked like it was because ofthe specific angle. It’s a trick,basically. It’s likewhenpeoplepunch each other in movieswhereyou technicallyhave theactor turn away from thecamera, which helps “sell” it.This was quite different,becausetherewasnowaytodothat in this case. There wasnowhere for Cary to actually

turn given that the butt of thesword was coming straightdownonhishead.

ForthemostpartRugenisa sadist. Chris, however,wouldn’t hurt a fly, gentlefellow that he is. Sowhen itcame to doing this particularstunt,hewasconcernedabouteven touching me with thesword. That’s because hissword was a real sword.

There was no rubber“double” on hand to use forthe stunt. It was an actualmetal weapon—dense andheavy.Asaresult,duringthefirst couple of takes, it wasobvious that Chris washolding back; I could barelyfeel the handle tapping myskull,whichmade it difficultto react appropriately. Wetried it a few times, but ourcamera operator, Shaun

O’Dell, told Rob that hecould see that the swordwasnot touching my head andthat Iwas reacting either toosoonortoolate.That’swhenI made a fatal error injudgment byopeningmybigmouthwithasillysuggestion.One that I would come toregret.

“Youknowwhat,Chris,”Isaid, “why don’t you just goahead and give me a slight

tap on the head. Just hardenough that I’ll get thefeeling and then I think thetimingwillwork.”

Understandably,Chriswasinitially reluctant. As wasPeter Diamond, who was onhand to coordinate the stunt.Eventually, though, it wasdecided after a couple ofrehearsals thathecouldputalittle force behind the blow,

justenoughtohelpme“sell”it.Sowestartedtoroll...

“Turnover!”“Soundspeed!”“One forty. Take

five!”—Clap! went theclapperboard.

“And . . . action!” yelledRob.

Chris swung the heavysworddowntowardmyhead.However, as fatewouldhaveit, it landed just a touch

harder than either of usanticipated. And that, folks,wasthelastthingIrememberfrom that day’s shoot. In thescript Bill’s stage directionsfrom the end of this scenestate:The screen goes black. In

the darkness, frighteningsounds.

Which is precisely whathappened.

I woke up in theemergency room, still incostume, to the frighteningsound of stitches being sewnintomyskull.Fromthesamedoctor, no less, who hadtreatedmeonly a fewweeksearlier for my broken toe. Iremember him saying to meafterIcameto,“Well,Zorro!You seem to be a littleaccidentprone,don’tyou?”

And of course Chris feltabsolutely terrible about thewhole thing, even though Ikept tellinghim itwasn’t hisfault. It was my dumb idea.But you know what? Thatparticular take was the onethat endedup in the film.SowhenyouseeWestleyfall tothe ground and pass out,that’s not acting. That’s anoverzealous actor actuallylosingconsciousness.

The next day on set, thecast and crew went out oftheirway tomakesure Iwasokay. I’m not surewhether Iwasadmiredforsufferingformy art, or looked upon as abit of a nut, given that Iactually asked another actortohitmewitharealmedievalsword. I do know that IalreadyfeltlikeIhadbecomepart of a rather large anddiverse family, if a bit of a

clumsy, accident-proneaddition.

CHRISTOPHERGUESTCarywashurt. Icuthishead,Ibelieve,with the bottomof thesword. I’mnot sure if itwas areal sword or not. It might’vebeen a real sword. But thehandleswere real, in any case,even if the blades weren’t.BasicallyIjustcamedownandactuallyhithim!

On the 26th of October,1986, we shot part of thesequence where the Man inBlack climbs up the fakeCliffs of Insanity back on CStageatShepperton.Afterwewrapped I headed to mydressingroomandwentabouttheprocessofchangingfromWestley back into Cary. Iwashedmyface,dressedbackinto my regular clothes,

packedupmyscriptbag,andgotreadytoheadhome.

I usually like to listen tomusicwhen Iunwind fromaday’s work. And, after Robtold me that Mark Knopflerhad agreed to score themovie, I began listening toBrothers in Arms by DireStraits, which had come outonly the year before. I recallbecoming hooked on thealbumalloveragain.Andon

the title track in particular.Rob told me that Knopflerhad only one request beforeagreeing to do the film: thatRob had to find a way toplace Marty DiBergi’s USSCoral Sea baseball cap thathe wore in Spinal Tapsomewhere in the movie.Clearly Tom Petty and Stingweren’t the only rock starswho had a special place intheir hearts for the

mockumentary. For those ofyouwhoneverspottedit, thehat canbe seenon a shelf inFredSavage’sbedroom.

According to the linernotes on the Princess Bridealbum, Knopfler stated thathe “was only kidding aboutthehat.”ButRob is thekindofguywholovesachallenge.Especiallyifit’safunone.

Just as I was leaving mydressing room in my regular

clothesafterswitchingoffthetape deck (thiswas the ’80s,afterall),oneof theassistantdirectors came running up tome.

“Cary, sorry,” he said outof breath. “They need youbackontheset.”

“Oh. I thought I waswrapped?”

“They need to get onemore shot, and they need to

do it quickly. Can you getdressedagain?”

“Okay. But just let themknowit’sgoingtotakealittlewhile,”Isaid,“asI’llneedtoputmakeuponagain.”

The AD continuedbreathlessly.“Robsaidnottoworry about that. It’s awideshot so no one will notice.They just need you in yourcostume.”

ROBREINERI had a good friend namedBobby Colomby, a recordproducer and a really cool guywhousedtobethedrummerforBlood,Sweat&Tears.SoItoldhim, “I want to get a differenttakeon this,youknow?Iwanta traditional score but I alsowantittohaveamodernfeeltoit, too.” And it was he whosuggested Mark Knopfler. IknewMark had done the scorefor Local Hero, so I said,“Geez, that would be great

because he has such adistinctive guitar sound.”MarksaidhewouldonlydoitifIputthe cap I wore in Spinal Tapsomewhereintheset.SoifyoulookcloselyinthesceneswherePeter Falk is reading the book,you’llseeitinthebackground.

Thissoundedabitstrange,but not unusual.On a film itis rare but not out of theordinary to be called back toset if the director suddenly

realizes he needs anothershot. Even after you havereturned to your hotelsometimes.SoIwentintomydressing room, put mycostumebackon,grabbedmymask,sword,andgloves,andheaded back with the AD tothesoundstage.

As I walked onto the set,thefirstthingInoticedwasadistinct lack of movement.Everyone was just milling

about.Theyweren’tworking.They were just standingthere . . . as if waiting forsomethingtohappen.

Then everyone turned tofaceme, revealingwhat theyhad actually been hiding—alarge cake with The Man inBlack crafted in icing and litcandles. They all smiled andyelled:

“SURPRISE!”

And then they sang“HappyBirthday”tome.

IswearIhadforgottenthatit was my birthday. I stoodthere silently, taking it all in.For a moment I thought Imightcry,Iwassomovedasthey sang. Instead I justlaughed. I had just turnedtwenty-four and was in thefinal month of possibly themost important job of my

career. I couldn’t have felthappierormoreathome.

THEGREATESTSWORDFIGHTINMODERN

I am often asked what myfavoritesceneisinthemoviebut it is difficult to pick justone, as that would meanweighing the importance ofone scene against another, ordeclaring onemoment in thefilm to be of greatersignificance or achievementthantherest.AndthetruthisI enjoyed the whole process.Certainly, from the verybeginning of pre-production,

it had beenmade clear to allofus—andtoMandyandmeinparticular—thattheelegantswordfightbetweenuswouldbe among the highlights inthe film. Moreover, that weweregoing to strive,at least,for something akin to movielegend.

And indeed there it was,written exactly that way inGoldman’s screenplay: allcapital letters, boldface type,

and underlined twice, lestthere be any doubt. Quite athing to live up to. Whetherwe’d fall short of that goalwas largelyup tobothofus,and the degree to which wewere willing to train andstudyunderBobandPeter.Itshould also be noted thatChris Guest had to train andrehearseaswell, forRugen’sfinal encounter with Inigo.Andeventhoughthatfightis

much shorter and more one-sided, and perhaps thetraininglessintenseforChris,it still meant double thetrainingforMandy.

CHRISTOPHERGUESTIt tookalotofworkforpeoplewhohadneverdonethat.AndIhad never done it, so it took along time to prepare. Wetrained with these carbon fiberblades, because they’re lighter.Youdon’tuserealmetalswords

becausethey’retooheavy.Andthentheyputinthesoundlater.In rehearsal with Mandy, Iactually got stuck in the thigh;thepointwentrightintomyleg.And I thought, Oh, well thishurts.Afterthat,Iapproacheditwhere I was basically actuallydefendingmyself.It’sastrangething.Wehadourswordfightinthiseleventh-centurycastle,anditreallywaslikeakid’sdream,tobeinacostumeandhavingaswordfight in a place wheretheyprobablyhadaswordfightfive hundred years ago. And I

was making the sounds whenwe were fighting. The soundsthattheswordswouldmake,asyouwouldwhenyouwereakid—“Ch-ch!”—and Rob yelled,“Cut!” I said, “What? What’sgoingon?”Andhesaid,“Chris,we’ll put the sounds in later.”That got a huge laugh. Theplace just exploded, but itwould be the perfect sort ofthingakidwoulddo.

Chris said that Mandyappeared really “pumpedup”

during rehearsal and that hehad actually stuck him withhis sword by mistake. Afterthis accident, Chrisapparently told Peter that hewas going to throw outeverything they had learnedandwasbasicallygoingtotryto just defend himself oncethecamerasstartedrolling.

As for Mandy and me,throughbasictrainingandthefirst couple months of

shooting, we felt reasonablyconfident about the progressweweremaking, despitemynow injured toe.We had putinthetime.Thatwasneveranissue—Bob and Peter madecertain of that, filling everyfreesecondwithpractice.Ourjobwas toput somemeatonthe bones of the fight, tocreate a duel whosephysicality would match the

brilliance of the words thataccompaniedit.

In mid-October, we gotour first review while I wasfilmingascenewiththegreatand greatly underrated MelSmith. For those of youwhodon’t recall, Mel played thegleeful Albino who prepsWestley for his torturesessioninthePitofDespair.

MelSmith,Andréjogginghismemory,andMandy

I’dberemissifIdidn’tsaya fewwords aboutMel,who

was another one of myfavorite comedians growingup and has since, sadly,passed away. In the early tomid-1980s, Mel, his writingpartner,GriffRhysJones,andRowan Atkinson all starredtogether in a fantasticallyfunny and popular Britishsketch comedy show calledNot the Nine O’clock News.He was a wonderfulimprovisational actor and

comedian, and, like Billy,clearly grasped theopportunity to embellish thesmall role and turn it intosomething memorable. Eventhough he didn’t lookanything like thecharacter, itwas a perfect bit of casting.Withhiswhitewig,bloodshoteyes,massivecoldsore,andadelightfully fey mannerseemingly at odds with theawful work he was about to

perform, he truly embodiedtheAlbino.AndwhenIheardhewouldbejoiningthecast,Iwasthrilled.

“We got Mel Smith?” Iremember saying to Rob.“You’re kidding! That’sgreat!”

I thinkChrisGuest, beingthe incredible connoisseur ofcomedy that he is, was theonly other cast member whoactually knewwhoMelwas.

It tookallday to filmthePitof Despair because, as withthe scenes involving Billy, Ifound it challenging tomaintain my composure.There’s something inherentlyridiculous about lying onyour back,with suction cupsattached to your nipples,staringupatChrisGuestandMel Smith, pretending toendure searing pain whilestrapped to a massive “life-

sucking machine.” IrememberbothRobandIlostit on the first takewhenMelunexpectedly did that wholebit on the steps where heloses his balance. Then thewhole coughing and hackingbit? Forget it. In the end Ithink I had to turn awayduring his off-cameradialogue just because Icouldn’t look at his facewithoutlaughing.

Since Inigo’s characterwasnotneededfor thePitofDespair scene, Mandy hadspent much of the morningtraining with Bob and Peterbetweensetups.Atlunchtimewe wandered over to the setfor the Cliffs of Insanitywhere the swordfight wouldtake place, so that we couldgive Rob and Andy ademonstration. After a fewmoments of stretching, and

some last-minute notes fromBob and Peter,Mandy and Ibegan the duel for the smallcrowd that had gathered,including some of thedepartment heads andproducers.

I thought it went ratherwell, and when we werefinally done, Mandy and I,both covered with sweat,received a very graciousapplause from everyone in

attendance. I rememberstandingtherewithmyswordat my side, my chest stillheaving from the effort.Everyone seemed pleased,including Bob and Peter.Rob, however, had a look ofnot dissatisfaction, butcertainlynotoneofcompleteapproval, either. Hisexpressionwaskindofblank.Scratching his beard, hewalked over to us, deep in

thought.Hethenlookedupatusandasked:

CHRISTOPHERGUESTWhat’s unusual about this filmisthatsomanypeoplehadgreatturns to do. You look at therichness of these parts andvirtually everyone gets to dosomething that’s memorable inthemovie.That’s very unusualand it speaks to the strengthofthe script and a way ofapproaching a movie where ifall the parts are good and

they’redonewell, it’sgoing tobe so much better than justhaving two stars and weakersupporting roles. That’s adisaster, and it takes thewholething down. And it happens alot,unfortunately.

“That’sit?”I looked at Mandy. He

lookedatme.WebothlookedatBobandPeter.Therewasalongbeat,beforeIresponded,“Yeah.That’sit.”

Not exactly the responsewe had anticipated, as I’msureyouwouldagree.Mandyand I had spent so manyhours practicing andperfecting the duel, mappingouteachandeverystepofthechoreography, every thrustandparryofthefight,thatwewere now able to perform itnotonlyfluidlybutflawlesslywithout even thinking aboutit. We figured that was the

goal.And itwas—toapoint.There was one thing wehadn’tconsidered,though.Bymastering the sequence, wehad also shortened it.Aduelthat once lasted four to fiveminutes back in August hadby nowbecome considerablyfaster.

“Howlongwasthat?”Robasked our script supervisor,CeriEvans.

Ceri approached with astopwatch.

“Oneminute, twenty-threeseconds,”shereported.

Rob shook his headsolemnly.

“Not long enough.This issupposed to be the GreatestSwordfight inModernTimes—butit’sovertooquickly.”

“Whatdowedo?”Iasked.Rob shrugged. “Go back

and add somemore. Look at

this beautiful set. We spentallthismoney.Webuiltitforyouguys.Wecan’tbeinhereforjustaminute.”

Bob Anderson explainedto him that we had prettymuch used every part of thesetandthatifweaddedmorewewould be just going overthe same terrain. Rob thenturned to Norman Garwood,whowasstandingnearby.

“Norman,isthereanywayyou could build up the ruinsof a tower over there withsome steps? Then maybethese guys could go up thesteps, and play around upthere. And then we couldbring it all the way backdown here on the levelgroundforthefinish.”

He paused. Normannodded.

“Yeah,Ithinkso,”hesaid.Nothing was ever too muchtroubleforNorman.

“Great.” Rob turned backtous.“Youguysgobackandmakeitlongerandbetter.Weneed at least three minutes,okay?”

Bob, Peter, Mandy, and Iall nodded like schoolkidswho got a decent passinggradefromourprofessor,butwanted the highest score

possible.As a teamwewereshooting for 11 out of 10.LikeNigelTufnel’samp.

At a subsequent meetingwithPeter,Bob,andMandyIthrew out the suggestion thatwe collect every singleswashbuckling movieavailable on video, includingthe ones we had alreadywatched, and watch themagaintofindwhatweneeded.Movies like The Crimson

Pirate, The Mark of Zorro,Captain Blood, The BlackPirate, Adventures of DonJuan, The Count of MonteCristo, The ThreeMusketeers, The ScarletPimpernel, The Sea Hawk,The Prisoner of Zenda,Scaramouche, etc. And wedid. We would fast-forwardto the fight scenes and studythem in detail to see if we

couldspotanythingwecouldborroworimproveon.

We discovered thatScaramouche, starringStewart Granger and MelFerrer, featured the longest,most intricate movieswordfight incinemahistory.So our rallying cry became,“Let’s beat Scaramouche!”Not the time, certainly (themovie’sduelclockedinatsixminutes, and we knew we

couldn’t beat that!), but wedidwanttoatleasttrytobeatit in terms of beingmemorable. In order to dothat, we added all kinds ofextra things—like going upthestepsofthecastleruin,asRob suggested, and almostpushingoverabigrock—andthenweagreedthatwecouldaddabitofacrobatics,wherewe throw our swords in theground, spin off a high bar,

and dismount perfectly.Obviouslythatwouldinvolvetheuseofastuntdouble,whoturned out to be anaccomplishedgymnastnamedJeff Davis. And since thatparticular stunt did notactually involve swordfighting, it seemed like fairgame. Originally Jeff wasgoing to do the same swingfor Westley as he did forInigo.Iaskedhimifhecould

doadoubleformycharacter.Rob loved the idea and Jeffperformeditimmaculatelyonevery take.We also added apiecewhereMandyandIleapup onto some rockswith theuseofasmalltrampolineanda somersault for Inigo as heleaps off a set of rocks overmy head.Also performed byJeff.AndabitwhereMandywould lose his sword for a

moment, then catch it inmidair.

I’m probably making thissound less stressful than itactuallywas.The fact is, themoment Rob said, “That’sit?” I think I can speak forMandy, too, when I say webecame just a tad anxious.We had spent nearly threemonths choreographing oneof the biggest scenes in themovie, and now, roughly a

few weeks before we weredue toshoot it,wehad togoback to the drawing boardandaddtwominutesorso.

Prettyscarystuff.We’d been filming and

training five days a week upto that point, but Bob andPeter now declared that

Saturdaywould no longer beadayoff.

“Sorry,boys,”IrememberBob saying. “Wehave togetthis right.Andwehaveevenlesstimetodoitin.”

SoMandyandIcontinuedto practice and practice untilwehadcarefullyplottedoutasequence that would lastapproximately three minutestotal, as per our director’sinstructions. It was a little

harderforme,asmyleftfootwas still tender, buteventually we felt we had itdown cold. By the time Boband Peterwere finally happywith it,wewereready toputitonfilm.

WALLACESHAWNThe swordfights took immensediscipline and work, and theyreallydidit.Ihavetosay,Iwasimpressed.

We began shooting thescene at 8:30 a.m. onMonday,November10,onCStage at Shepperton, whichhad now been marvelouslytransformed to look like acastle ruin at the top of theCliffsofInsanity.

I had a lot of fun dayswhile filming The PrincessBride, but this, for me, waspossiblythemostmemorable.You could feel themagic on

the set.Therewasapalpablesense of excitement andhealthytension.

While Mandy and Iwarmed up and reviewed thebasic choreographywithBoband Peter, the set startedgetting packed withonlookers.Typically,onlythepersonnelrequiredforagivenscene are allowed to watch.But now it seemed thateveryone wanted to see us

filmtheswordfight.IswearIsaw the studio valet parkingguy there, standing at thebackwithhisarmsfolded,asif to say, entertain me. EvenBillGoldmanflewbackfromNew York to see it forhimself—as if there weren’tenoughpressure.

I’ll admit to having somebutterflies in my stomach;they were mostly the goodvariety,though—thekindyou

get when you’re excited, notwhenyou thinkof failing. Infact, I think Mandy and Iweresowellpreparedforthismoment,weactuallycouldn’twaittogetstarted.

Rob wanted to jumpstraight into the fightsequence itself and save thelong conversation betweenInigo and the Man in Blackthat precedes it—in whichInigo explains his obsession

with hunting down the six-fingered man who killed hisfather—for later. We startedwith the simple lines: “Youseem a decent fellow,” Inigosays as the two men squareoff.“Ihatetokillyou.”

“You seem a decentfellow,” the Man in Blackreplies.“Ihatetodie.”

Ifyou lookat it carefully,thechoreographyofthepiecebegins slowly at first, with

the two masters testing eachother, feeling each other out.Gradually, though, the duelescalatesintempo,speed,andintensity.

ROBREINERCaryandMandyhadtolearntofence both left-handed andright-handed,andwewantedtomake sure that they coulddesign a really cool fencingsequence. So when we finallygot to it, Iwas soproudof the

fact that the two of them—Imean, Mandy had startedworking on it even before wewent over to London; he wasworkingon it I think for aboutfourmonths, and Cary workedfor only about two months—I’mvery proud of the fact thatevery single frame of actualsword fighting isbothof them.Therearenodoublesexceptfortheacrobaticswhentheyflipoffthe bar. The actual swordplay,every single frame, is just thetwo of them. Left-handed andright-handed.Iputitupagainst

any swordfight in moviehistory.

“You are using Bonetti’sdefense against me,” Inigosays, displaying both hisknowledge of classicswordsmanship and anappreciationforhisopponent.He already knows that thiswillbeachessmatchaswellasafight.

“I thought it fitting,”Westley responds with a slysmile,“considering therockyterrain.”

The beauty of thisswordfight, of course, is thatit combines the execution ofboth physical mastery andbrilliant dialogue. Goldmanhas Westley and Inigoexchange gracious,complimentaryremarksabouttheir opponent’s tactics and

style, even as they try tovanquish one another. Inmyhumble opinion, it has neverbeen equaled. Nor perhapswilliteverbe.

“You are wonderful!”Inigosaysatonepoint.

“Thank you,” Westleypolitely replies.“I’veworkedhardtobecomeso.”(Neveratruerlinehadbeenspoken!)

And then comes thebeautifulmomentwhenInigo

reveals thathe is, in fact,notleft-handed, and flips theswordintohisstrongerhand.

“You are amazing!”Westley acknowledges asInigo pins him against acrumblingrockledge.

“Ioughttobeaftertwentyyears,”Inigoreplies.

“ThereisonethingImusttellyou,”Westleysays.

“Whatisthat?”

“I’m not left-handed,either.”

BILLYCRYSTALTheswordfight is fantastic. It’slike a very beautiful, old-fashioned—in thebest senseoftheword—kindofscene.

With that, Westley freeshimself, and causes Inigo tolose his sword. Inigo thenuses a nearby (and

conveniently placed)horizontal bar to perform anacrobatic escape maneuver.In pursuit,Westley does himonebetter: after throwinghisswordexpertlysoitwillstickin the ground, he performs adouble giant swing andperfect dismount, landingdirectly in front of theshockedbutimpressedInigo.

“Who are you?” he says,legitimatelycurious.

“Noone of consequence,”theManinBlackresponds.

“I must know,” Inigopleads.

“Get used todisappointment.” One of myfavoriteGoldmanlines.

Mandythengavethemostwonderful unscriptedresponsetothisline,akindofmumbled“Okay”withalittleshrug, much like a Spaniard

woulddo,beforereturningtotheduel.

The fight continues, untilWestley knocks Inigo’ssword from his hand andholds his blade against theSpaniard’sthroat.

“Kill me quickly,” Inigodemandsproudly.

But Westley has otherplans. “I would as soondestroy a stained-glasswindow as an artist like

yourself; however, since Ican’thaveyoufollowingme,either...”

And with that, Westleyuses the butt of his sword toknock Inigo unconscious.AftermymishapwithChris,itwasdecidedthistimethatIshould walk behind Mandyand swipe the back of hishead without actuallytouchinghim.An easy “sell”for the camera, and no one

would have to go to thehospital. “It’s only amistakeifyoudon’tlearnfromit,”asmyfatherusedtosay.

We did the entire fightsequence from start to finishwithMandyandme(sanstheacrobatics, of course) in asingle take. Rob captured iton two cameras, fromdifferent angles, and I amproudtosay,wedidnotmakea single mistake. When we

finished, the entire crowd inattendance burst intoapplause.BobandPeterwerebeaming, Goldman wasspeechless. Only my big toeremainedunimpressed.

“Great job, guys!” Robsaid.“Fantastic!Nowlet’sdoitagain.”

Andsowedid.Overandoverandover.Onedaybecametwo.Two

days became three. Three

then became four. In all weended up spending the betterpart of a week filming theGreatest Swordfight inModern Times, which Isuppose is appropriate. Weshot from the front, from theback,wide angles, close-ups,from my point of view,Mandy’s point of view, etc.At one point we even shotseventeentakesfromasingleangle. All printed. After the

tenth take, I remember Robsaying,“Verr-ycool!”inthatvoiceofhis.

And then we did sevenmore.

I remember feeling a truekinship with Mandy thatweek. The truth is,whilewecertainly got along verywellthroughout the production,we really didn’t get to spenda lot of time socializing onthe set, as we spent most if

not all of our spare timetraining.Bythetimeweweredone with that, and after along day of shooting, all wewanted to do was go homeandsoakourwearylimbsinahotbath.Duringtheshootingoftheactualfight,however,Iremember feeling very closetohim.Probablyinmuchthesame way that boxers mightgrow close to each otherdespite being opponents.We

would sit there togetherbetween takes, trying to stayhydrated, wiping our facesand hands with towels,talking about what we haddone right and wrong, whathad worked and what hadn’tworked. Generally helpingeachotherout.We’dgooverthe things we had beentaught: holding the bladecorrectly, bending our knees,stayinglimberandloose,and

soon.And,mostimportantofall, making sure we werealways looking at eachother’seyes.

MANDYPATINKINRob wanted the actors to beseen doing all the fencing. Hewanted full-body shots, asopposed to most other fencingpictures,where itwouldbe thepoint of view of the actors.Where youwould see only thehand of the other fencer off

camera. In most movies, thiswould be done by a stuntdouble. But Rob was adamantthat we do all the fightingourselves.Mygreatestmemoryand pleasure, in terms offencing, was the fact that webecame proficient enough toimprovise on a dime. Iremember on one of the finaldays of shooting the sequencewhere we were going up thestairs,changingfromthelefttothe right hand, it didn’t quitework for the camera. And Iremember turning to Bob

Anderson,abeautifulman,Godrest his soul, and he had asuggestion. I said, “Go tellRob.” And he said, “Oh, no,that’s not my place.” I said,“Bob,hedoesn’tknowanythingabout fencing.You’re the guy!You’ve got to tell him.” SoCaryandIwentoverwithBobandPeterandwetoldhim.AndRob took a moment and thensaid,“Okay,goaheadandfixit.But make it quick!” We onlyhad about twentyminutes, andwe rechoreographed thatwholesequence, which we had spent

weeks choreographing withinan inch of its life. We hadlearned the skill, the basics offencing, so clearly that Caryand I, with Bob and Peter’sexpert guidance, were able toredothewholesequenceupthesteps in less than a half hour.That was the highlight of thewhole film forme,becausewehadreallylearnedaskillandwewere able to implement itinstantly. That was quitethrilling.

If you look closely at thefightscene,you’llnotice thatMandy and I are staring ateach other throughout,telegraphingthenextmoveorparry, actually kind ofsignaling to one another.Wehaditdowntoaverypreciseroutine. So much so that theeye triggersbasicallybecamesupplemental. There was nomargin for error. Bob andPeter kept warning us that if

we screwed up, it wasn’t somuchthatthescenewouldberuined,yourpartnermightgethurt.

But toourcreditwecameout cleanly,without somuchas a bump or a scratch. Andwith exactly the scene Robwanted to capture on film,clocking in at approximatelythree minutes and tenseconds.A scene that I thinkdid justice to theway it was

describedontheprintedpage:The Greatest Swordfight inModernTimes.

MANDYPATINKINAtonepointRobsaid,“Iwantto put the cameras all the wayup to the ceiling and do acouple more takes. Are youguys up to it?” This was afterwehadspentseveraldaysdoingthesefights,andwejustjumpedat it likewild animals.We didthe whole piece without

stopping again, like a stagepiece. And the only painfulmomentstomewereeverytimeRob yelled, “Cut! Print!”Because that meant we got itright, and we might not bedoing thatpartagain.Thatwasheartbreaking to me. I justdidn’twantittoend.

ALLGOODTHINGS...

It’s true in life, as in themovies, that the greatest

highs are often followed bythelowestlows.Thedayafterwe finished shooting thesword-fightingscene,Itookaday to visit my ailinggrandfather in the hospital.He had been diagnosed withdiabetes,butitwasonlyafterI arrived that I was told thathe had taken a turn for theworse.

Somepeoplebarelyget toknow their grandparents.

People take jobs in far-offplaces, families becomefragmented, and generationsoccasionally lose track ofeach other. It happens. But Iwas one of those fortunatekids who grew up in closeproximity to theirgrandparents,andIdevelopedan especially closerelationship with mygrandfather. His name wasBillyMcLean, and he was a

true adventurer if ever therewasone.

I don’t mean he seemed“adventurous” to a little boy(although he certainly wasthat as well). This man wasthe real deal.HehadworkedinmilitaryintelligencefortheBritish government, and hadbeen sent on undercovermissionstoallkindsofexoticand dangerous places bothduring and after World War

II. He had even met IanFleming, who had been innaval intelligence and whohad subsequently used hisexperiences in that field tocreate the James Bondcharacter. When he firstjoinedthearmy,BillybecamepartoftheRoyalScotsGreys(originally a Scottish cavalryregiment).Sohehadallthesewonderful ancient regimentalswordsthathekeptonatable

in his study. They were justbeautiful and they were alsomyintroductiontothealmostincongruous elegance ofswords. When I was oldenough he used to let mehandle them and I imaginedmyself as, among otherthings, a swashbucklingpirate.

I adored spending timewith him, listening to himrecount epic tales of his

adventures in far-off places,much like Errol Flynn’scharacter does with the littleIndianboyinthefilmversionof Rudyard Kipling’s Kim.Andashesharedthesestorieswith so much love, it alsoremindedmeofthewayPeterFalk’sGrandfather shareshislove of adventure with FredSavage’s character in ourmovie. Which is why thosescenes so resonated with me

when I first read the book.Let’s be honest: for a kid, isthere anything better thanhavingagrandfatherwhonotonly fought for his countrybut was actually a secretagent? I don’t doubt thatmygrandfather suffered fromsome of the effects of hiscombat service, but he neveronceleton.Instead,hesharedwith me a passion foradventureandforlifeitself.

HewastherealheroinmyworldandItreasuredhim.

And he loved me. Lovedspendingtimewithme.WhenhefoundoutthatIhadgottenthe part of Westley in ThePrincess Bride, he wasthrilled. He knew about thebook,thatitwasanadventurestoryandthatI’dbeplayingadashingpirate.Hewasproudof my success, and he hadbeen really looking forward

tovisitingthesettoseemeatwork. Particularly seeing thefamousduelitself.

Unfortunately, he nevergot the chance, as he fell illaround that time. When Iwent to visit him in thehospital he was onlysemilucid. Age and themedication the doctors hadgiven him had sapped hisstrength. Nevertheless, as Isat by his side and held his

hand,Itoldhimallabouttheshoot and how fun it hadbeen.AboutAndrétheGiant.About the swordfight, andhow much he would enjoywatching iton thebig screenone day. I even shared withhimhowmuchofaclotIhadbeen,breakingmytoeontheall-terrainvehicle.Andthenitdawned onme. It seemed asiftheroleshadbeenreversed.Here I was, the grandson

recounting tales of adventuretothegrandfather.Attheendofit,Ikissedhimtenderlyonthe cheek. Then, unable tofightbackthetears,Itoldhimhow much I loved him. IrealizedIwasactuallyhavingmy “As YouWish” momentwithhim.

It appeared that heunderstood what I wassaying. I’d like to think so,anyway. Sadly, he passed

awayintheearlyhoursofthefollowing morning,surrounded by his closefriendsandfamily.

The next day I shared thenews with Rob and some ofthe cast and crew when Iarrivedontheset.Andprettysoon everyone knew aboutmy loss. They couldn’t havebeen nicer or moresupportive. When I had toleave to attend my

grandfather’s funeral in thelastweekofNovember,Iwassupposed to filmascene thatday—a wide shot of theDread Pirate Roberts exitinghisboat.ButRobtoldmenotto worry, that I should go“because family alwayscomesfirst.”

“Don’t sweat it,Cary,”hesaid. “We’ll use AndyBradfordtodoubleyou.”

AsI said,whenyou’reona movie set, your coworkerscanbecomelikeyourfamily.

On the21stofNovember,Ifilmedmyfinalsceneinthefilm: thenowfamousmovie-ending kiss betweenWestleyandButtercup. That daywasabusyone,withthecallsheetbeing peppered with a lot ofpick-up shots that wereneeded, which we would beshooting invarious stageson

the Shepperton lot. Prior tothekisssceneweshotascenethat actually never ended upinthemovie.Itwassupposedto be an alternate endingwhere,afterPeterFalkleavesthe bedroom, Fred Savagepicks up The Princess Bridebook and is looking throughit, at which point he hearssomething outside hiswindow. He goes to open itonly to find all four of us—

myself, Robin, Mandy, andAndré—on top of four graystallions outside his housebeckoning him to join us onour next adventure. Kind oflike the concept behindTimeBandits where the kid’sdreams come true and thefantasybecomesareality.

Itwastobeshotagainstablack backdrop (there wereno green screens in thosedays)andIwasprovidedwith

a special Lipizzaner stallioninordertodoaspecificstunt.Lipizzaners are famous fordoing special tricks andmaneuvers, and I wassupposed to get the horse torear up on its hind legs in aheroic fashion by giving it acertaincueusingtheheelsofmyboots. Ihadpracticed forweeks with this horsebetween sword-training untilI got it right, and thankfully

the beautiful creature did notletusdownwhenthecamerasbegan rolling. The horsewrangler had also providedthis huge Clydesdale horse,the kind you see onBudweiserads, forAndré, asthat was the biggest theycould find. And they had tobuild some steps for him tousetoclimbontotheanimal.ButthisClydesdale,asbigasitwas,tookonelookatAndré

and refused to let him sit onhis back. So the stunt team,who had prepared for thiseventuality, had a standbyharness built to André’sspecifications brought out,realizingthattheonlywaytoget him on this horsewas tolower him gently in placewhilewiredtoahugepulley,allowinghim to appear tobeon the horse without anyweightactuallytouchingit.

IntheendRobfeltthattheidea was too confusing foraudiences. That the twoworlds shouldnotmeet.Andit turned out to be the betterchoice.

ROBREINERSo we’ve got to do this scenewherewehad tohave themonthe four horses, and they weregoing to be suspended, so weshot it against black. It wasgoing to be a visual effect.

Well, André weighed like 500pounds, so he couldn’t just siton any horse.We had to rig asystem where we would lowerhim down with pulleys andwe’dpaint thecablesoutsohewould just be resting on thehorse. Sowe get to the end ofthe day and it’s about eighto’clock at night, and I’mwalking to the soundstagewherewe’regoingtoshootthis.Andtheyopen thedoors,andIsee a 500-pound giant beinglowered from the ceiling andhe’s going, “Hello, boss!”And

I’mthinking,WhatdoIdoforaliving here? What is this jobthatIhave?Itwasprettycrazy.

After we finished thatshot, it was time for Robinand I to shootmy last scene.SinceMandy andAndré hadtogoshootothersceneswiththe secondunit involving thetavern, I said my good-byesto them after we finished,hugging themboth. I believe

I became a little misty-eyedwhenItriedtowrapmyarmsaround André. I couldn’tbelieve that our journey wascomingtoanend.

RobinandIwere then ledover to another part of thesoundstagewhereweweretosit on our horses against abeautifulsunsetbackdropandperform the magical kiss.Thiswouldbemyactual lastscene in the film and it

couldn’t have been a moreappropriate way to end themovie for me. Once again acrowd had gathered towitness the moment.Watchingandsmiling,maybedabbing away a tear or two.This last embrace shared byButtercup and Westley isdescribed thusly by theGrandfatherinhisnarration:Since the invention of the

kiss . . . therehavebeen five

kisses that have been ratedthemostpassionate, themostpure. This one left them allbehind.

Wecertainlydidour best,RobinandI,toliveuptothatlofty standard. And, eventhough Rob would oftenshoot multiple takes on anygiven scene until he feltcomfortable that he gotexactlywhathewanted,whenit came to this particular

kissing scene, Robin and Ikept asking formore takes. Ithink we were actually sogiddyweweregigglinglikeacoupleofschoolkids.

After the first take, Robcalledout,“Cutandprint!”

“Ummm, I’m sorry, Ididn’t quite feel right aboutthat one, Rob. Can we tryagain?” I asked sheepishly,stiflingalaugh.

Rob just smiled and said,“Sure,Cary.Whynot?”

After the second take,againRobsaid,“Printthat!”

Then Robin asked foranother.

“Yeah! We need to goagain,Rob,please.”

ThenIaskedforanother.So it went, three more

takes,allofwhichconcludedwith the same directive fromRob:“Cutandprint!”

Weendedup shooting sixtakes of that kiss. Afterprinting themall,Robfinallyturned to Ceri, our scriptsupervisor, and said after thelast one, “That’s a beauty!Print that, too.” He thenwalkeduptousonourhorsesandsaid:

“Uh,guys? I thinkwegotit!”

Giggles aside, and I can’tspeak for Robin, but I could

have gone on shooting thatsceneallday,asIdon’tthinkIwantedthemovietoend.Itwasalsoaverytenderwaytoendthemovie.Sealingitwithakiss,sotospeak.

There was a brief silencefollowedbyanoverwhelmingapplause as Rob announced,“Ladies and gentlemen . . .That’s a wrap on CaryElwes!”

I remember being verymoved by this moment andtrying hard to control myemotions as I gave a smallspeech thanking everyone onthe crew and my fellow castmembers. I turned to Robinandtoldherthatnoonecouldhave personified the innerandouterbeautyofButtercupmore wonderfully than shehad.And finally,with a frogofunusualsizeinmythroat,I

turned to Rob and thankedhim for being so incrediblyamazingtoworkwithandformakingtheexperiencesuchajoyfulonenotjustformebutforeveryone involved,whichwas followed by the longestbearhugIeverreceivedfromhim. I ended by sayingwhatwasonmymindandperhapsthe minds of many, that Iwishwecouldgoonshootingthe film forever but that,

sadly, all good thingseventuallyhavetocometoanend.

ROBINWRIGHTItwassobeautiful,thetruelovefor Westley . . . Cary was soperfect in that role. Hewas sodashing and funny and good-looking. And we will alwayshave a special relationshipbecauseofthisfilm.

After I was done therewerelotsofhugsandtearsasI said my good-byes toeveryone present. Robincame over and hugged meone last time. Of all thepeople on the film, I think Ihad bonded with her themost, as nearly all of ourscenesinthemoviehadbeenjust the two of us. I willalways love her, andwewillalwaysremainclose,because

whatwesharedwasauniquebond: for that brief, shiningmoment in time, we wereWestley and Buttercup. Afairy-tale love that willforever be immortalized onthescreen.

After the movie ended,everyone went their separateways. I don’t even recall ifthere was a wrap party. I’msure there was, but I wasspending a lot of time with

my family, given the loss ofmygrandfather,andsomighthave missed it. Or I mightsimply have been toodistractedbygrieftogo.

I didn’t know how themovie would turn out. Ididn’t even know when orwhere I’d ever see any ofthesewonderfulpeopleagain.Ifeltgoodaboutthefilmandtheworkwehaddone.Thereis no doubt that we all had

boundless faith in Rob’sability to create somethingspecial. But we didn’t reallyknow how it would bereceived. As an actor, younever know. You finish onejob and, if you are asfortunate as I have been inmy career, you are on to thenext. Maybe The PrincessBride would come and go.Maybe it would be justanother line on the résumé.

Of course, we were allprayingitwouldn’tbe.

MANDYPATINKINThe whole experience was sointense—thetenhoursadayoffilming, and working withgifted people. And Rob’sgentilityandhisgenerosityasadirector.Andhisloveofactors.And all of us kids, like CaryandRobinandme,beinginthisjoyous, gifted piece by BillGoldman. Now we weremovingon,andwhoknewwhat

it would be? Whether anyonewouldseeitornot?

CHRISGUESTThe thing about movies is nooneeverknowsifthey’vedonesomethingspecial. I thinkwhatyou do know is you’ve had afantastic time. From Rob’sstandpoint,therewasnowayhewas going to know beforecuttingittogetherwhatthefilmreallywas.Youknowyouhavegreat stuff but you don’t reallyknow. People have asked meabout Spinal Tap: “Did you

know?” It would bepreposterous and arrogant tosayweknew thiswasgoing tobesomething.Itwasjusthavingfun with your friends. You’relaughing, you’re doing a thing,andthat’sbasicallyit.Andthenyougoontosomeotherthing.

ROBINWRIGHTWhilemakingamovie,Ineverimagine or project, assume orpresume, whether themovie isgoing to work, or whether thedemographicwill respond to it.IjustknowthatIlovedgoingin

and making what we weremaking together on ThePrincessBride. In yourmind’seye, you see the pieces fittogether into a story ofcohesion,andyou’relike,thisisgreat. But you never know. Ijustknowthatwecouldn’thavelaughedanyharderonthatfilm.Everyday.

Onlytimewouldtell.

AFAIRY-TALEENDING

ThePrincessBridehadbeenoriginallyscheduledforabigsummer release. The film’sdistributor,20thCenturyFox,was enthusiastic about themovie’schancesandslatedit

toopenonJuly31,1987.ButsinceRobwasstill editingatthat time, the date waspostponed. I do recall a fewmonths later being invited toview a rough cut of the filmon the Fox lot withmy thenagent, Ed Limato (who has,sadly, since passed away). Iremember being particularlynervous at the time, as someof the giants in the comedyworld—Mel Brooks, Gene

Wilder, Gilda Radner, andCarl Reiner—were going tobe in attendance along withthe rest of Rob’s family andclosefriends.

It’sastrangething,seeinga film again after such alength of time has passed, inpart because you’ve movedon to other projects, but alsoit seems like eons ago whenyoumadeit.It’salmostlikeadream thathasbegun to fade

slowly from one’s memory.However, watching the filmeven in its rough form, withall the temp music and cuelines running through thepicture, I thought it was ajoyous, heartwarming, funny,sweet, and sincerelymemorable movie. ButperhapsIwasjustbiased.Idoknow that the audienceappeared to love it, too. Butmaybe, being Rob’s friends

and family, theywere biasedaswell.Afterthescreening,Iremember feelingoverwhelmed as I receivedperhaps some of the greatestand most treasuredcompliments of my careerwhen Mel, Gene, Gilda, andCarl each took turnscongratulating me on myperformance.

When The HollywoodReporter suggested in an

article on September 15 thatthe movie would be “achallenge for the marketingdepartment,” the studiodecided to push the releasedate even further back,opening with a limited run(meaning fewer theaters) inNew York and Los AngelesonSeptember25, to seehowit fared before going wide(meaning more theaters) afewweekslater.

The first time I saw thefinalversionwasatwhatwasthen known as Toronto’sFestivalofFestivals(nowtheToronto International FilmFestival) on September 18, aweek before the officialreleasedateintheStates.

Evenafterallthistimewestill didn’t know what toexpect.AsBillGoldmansaysabout our industry in hisfascinating book Adventures

intheScreenTrade,“Nobodyknowsanything!”For if theydid, he correctly reasons,everybody would be makinghit movies all the time.Nobody sets out to make abad movie. You work hard,putyour faith in thematerialandthedirector,andthen...well, you hope for the best.Truthfully, there is so muchthat can go wrong that it’sadvisable not to dwell on it,

which is also Goldman’sadvice. If it had been up tothe audience at the festival,we would’ve been a smashhit. They loved it. Theylaughedinalltherightplacesandappeared tobemoved inalltherightplacesaswell.

Afterthecreditsrolledandthe lights came up, theaudience stood and cheered.It was truly overwhelming. Iremember looking over at

Rob. He was beaming. Theaudience really took the filmto heart and voted it as thewinner of the People’sChoiceAwardat thefestival.It seemed like themoviehadarealshot.

Thencametheheartache.Aswewereflyingbackto

LA, Rob unfurled a copy ofwhat the studio had chosenfor themovieposter to show

us, and we were all prettyshocked.

ApparentlyTheHollywoodReporter had been correct intheir assumption. Thestudio’s marketingdepartment had been at acomplete lossas tohow theyshould sell the film. Theposter had no image of thetitle character, Buttercup.NoWestley. No Miracle Max.No Inigo. No Fezzik. No

swordfight. Not even anR.O.U.S. in sight! Insteadthey opted for a one-sheetdepictingasilhouetteofFredSavageandPeterFalksittingtogether against a MaxfieldParrish–type background.Very sweet, but it seemed tobeanodd,staticchoiceforamoviethatpromisedsomuchmore. Clearly they werescramblingatthetime,tryingto figure out what type of

movie to promote. And forsome reason they decided topush the story of theGrandfather and theGrandson—in essence, akid’s movie. Granted, thatrelationship was an integralpart of the story, but we allfelt, including Rob, thatperhaps it wasn’t the bestangle to promote the movie.And we were right, as itobviously left audiences

confused and some potentialfilmgoersdeterred.

CHRISSARANDONThe movie poster didn’t reallytell you anything about themovie. The subsequent postersdid feature characters from themovie, and gave you a realsense of what the movie wasabout.Butoriginallyitwaslike,Whatdowegothere,folks?Wedon’t know, so let’s just throwit out there and see whathappens. I was very

disappointed when the moviewasfirstreleasedbecauseIjustthought, This is really a veryspecial piece of work, and it’snotgoingtobethesortofthingthateverybodygets;itmaytakesometime.Andthathasproventobethecase.

To give you a sense ofhowcluelesseventheforeignmarketing folks were, Iremember someone showingme an Italian one-sheet that,

granted,hadanR.O.U.S.andButtercup, but it alsobizarrelyfeaturedahawkandhad Inigo as an ArnoldSchwarzenegger lookalikefrom Conan the Barbarianholding his giant Barbariansword up to his face in thaticonic pose. I guess thetheory was that if Arnoldcould sell tickets, why notgive it a shot. Compoundingthis was the fact that,

domestically, Fox had optedout of publicizing the movieatallinthemedia.Wehadnopaid ads on TV or even atrailer in the theater. Indeed,the first and only trailer wasconsidered so confusing, itwassubsequentlypulledfromthe cinemas by the studio. Itall seemed like a recipe fordisaster.Andyet . . . despiteall this the reviews, upon

opening, were generallypositive.Asampling:

ThePhiladelphiaInquirer:“GiventhatReiner’sfirstfeaturewastheriotouslyparodicThisIsSpinalTap,thereisabuilt-inexpectationherethathesatirizeswashbuckler

derring-do.Butwhat’scaptivatingaboutBrideisthesinceritywithwhichReinertellshisstory,whichissweetlikeciderand(fortunately)notlikehoney.”TheNewYorkTimes:“ThePrincessBridehassweetnessand

sincerityonitsside,andwhenitcomestofairytales,thosearemajorassets.Italsohasadelightfulcastandacheery,earneststylethatturnsouttobeevenmoredisarmingasthefilmmovesalong.Eventhelittleboy,

who’satoughcustomer,iseventuallywonover.”ChicagoSun-Times(RogerEbert):“ThePrincessBriderevealsitselfasaslyparodyofswordandsorcerymovies,afilmthatsomehowmanagestoexistontwo

levelsatonce.Whileyoungerviewerswillsitspellboundatthethrillingeventsonthescreen,adults,Ithink,willbelaughingalot.”

Somecritics,though,werereluctant to give the filmanything more than abackhandedcompliment,with

the attitude, “Hey, it’s a cutemovie, and if you needsomething to do in theafternoon, go ahead and takeyourkids.”

Othersweresimplyputoffby the apparent meshing ofgenres.

One critic, for example,had this to say: “This is apost-modern fairy tale thatchallenges and affirms theconventions of a genre that

maynotbeflexibleenoughtosupportsuchhorseplay.”

Hmm.Really? I thinkMr.Goldmanput itbestwhenhewrote, “Cynics are simplythwartedromantics.”

Two weeks after theTorontofestival,andaftertheinitial wave of mostlypositive reviews, we allgathered once again for ascreening at the New YorkFilm Festival at the Ziegfeld

Theater on 54th Street. Robwent onstage and introducedthe film, then invited us allafterwardtojoinhimupthereso he could introduce us.Later that night, we allgathered for dinner, whereRob got up and gave aspeech:

“I just want you all toknow that whatever happenswith this movie, I am veryproudoftheworkwedid.But

more importantly of all thehard work you did to helpmake this one of the mostmemorableexperiencesofmycareer. It’s a very specialfilm.Andone,Ithink,wecanallbeproudof.”

Everyone applauded.Therewasageneralfeelinginthe room of camaraderiewhere we felt that we hadmadesomethingspecial.

Sadly, Rob’s commentsabout the success of the filmturned out to be somewhatprophetic.Thenumberswerenot what we had hoped for.Nor what the studio hadhoped for, for that matter.After the opening weekend,wecouldalready tell that themovie wasn’t going to be ahuge box office draw,somethingthatconfoundedusall.LookingbackIonlywish

the Internet had existed in1987. I suspect that socialmedia would have raisedawareness of the film’sunique quality and helpedpropelittoblockbusterstatus.Alas, movies in those daysreliedontraditionalplatformsfor publicity and we didn’tevenhavethatgoingforus.

MANDYPATINKIN

I saw a rough cut of the filmvery early on, before it wasreleased.AndIrememberIwasweepingwhen itwasover.Mywifewassittingnexttomeandshe said, “What’s the matter?”And I lookedatherand I said,“Ineverdreamedthat I’dbe inanything like this. I can’tbelieve this happened before Ievenhadtimetodreamit.”AndIcouldn’tgetover it.Thatwassuch a high. Then I rememberfeeling sad when it wasn’treceived well. I heard that thestudio didn’t know how to

market it—as an adventurestory or a children’s story . . .who knew? And so it just sortofcameandwent.

FREDSAVAGEThey didn’t know how tomarket it. Didn’t knowwhat itwas. Is it an adventure? Is itromantic? Is it funny? Is itmoving? Is it thrilling? Is it achildren’sstory?Isitanadult’sstory? And the answer is . . .yes! I think any audience canfind something in the film thatspeakstothem,becauseitdoes

have its toes insomanystyles,genres, and tones. It meanssomething to everyone, nomatterwhatyouwant from themovie.

ROBREINERLooking back, I was reallystupid. I remember talking toBarryDiller,theheadofFoxatthetime,andIrememberedthatwhen The Wizard of Oz cameout, it wasn’t well received.People didn’t understand it.Theydidn’tlikeit,eventhoughit has since become this great,

enduringclassicovertheyears.And I said to Barry, “This isterrible.We’vegotamoviethateverybody loves but we can’tget anybody to come. I don’twantthistobecomeTheWizardof Oz!” And he said, “Rob,don’tletanybodyeverhearyousaythat.”Andhewasright,youknow?We should be so luckytogetTheWizardofOz.

After dinner, wheneveryone was about to go

their separate ways, AndréaskedifIwantedtogooutfora nightcap. Why not? Ithought.Whoknewwhenwewould get to see each otheragain, and I always enjoyedhiscompany.

So I joined him as hesqueezed into the largechauffeured van he had andsetoff in searchof . . .well,whenyou’rewithAndré,you

know it’salwaysgoing tobeanadventure.

ROBREINERI was really happy with whatwe had done because weachieved exactly what we setouttodo.AndIwasalsohappywith the reaction. I mean, wehad test screenings that were,like the cliché, “through theroof.” With something like 94percent of viewers saying theywould definitely recommendthe movie. The thing that was

frustrating for me is that Fox,who was releasing the filmdomestically, didn’t know howtomarket it. They had no ideawhat to do with it. Theycouldn’t cut a suitable trailer.They couldn’t get a one-sheetnewspaper ad. So it was reallyfrustrating.

ANDYSCHEINMANThemoviewasn’tassuccessfulfrom a commercial standpointas it should have been. I thinkit’saverysofttitle,especiallyifyoudon’tknowwhatit’sabout.

Andnobodyknew.Wecouldn’tget three college kids in thewholecountrytoseethismoviewhen it first cameout.Collegekidswouldsay,“Well,itsoundslike it’s for little kids.” Evenlittleboyswouldgo,“It’sgirlyand princesses and brides andall that stuff.” And then whenwe screened it at UCLA, theaudience went crazy. Because,ofcourse, thereality is that themovie is one of the moresatirical and adult-sensibilityfilms that kids happen to like,too.

“I’ll take you to some ofmy old haunts,” he said,issuingsomedirectionstothedriver.

We drove only a shortdistance before pulling up infront of the first bar, aperennialfavoriteofAndré’s:P. J. Clarke’s on ThirdAvenue. And, of course, themoment we walked in, theplace fell silent. Every head

in the room turned to watchas André bent low as heenteredthroughthedoor.

“It’sreallynotpossibleforyou to make a subtleentrance,isit?”Iasked.

He smiled and replied,“Not always. But it’s okay.Theyknowmehere.”

Aswesatdownatthebar,the bartender immediatelywanderedover.

“Hey,André.Good to seeyouagain.Theusual?”

“Yes, please, Frank. Andthis is my friend, Cary. Wejust made a movie togetherand I wanna buy him adrink.”

“Nicetomeetyou,”Isaid,shakinghandswithFrank.

“Any friend ofAndré’s isa friend of ours.What’ll youhave?”

“Just a beer please,” Iresponded thinking I hadbetterpacemyself.

André’s“usual”turnedouttobehisdrinkofchoice,“theAmerican,”which he had letme try on location inDerbyshire—a combinationof many hard spirits. InhindsightI’mgladIdidn’ttrya sample of it before gettingon his ATV, as I probablywould have ended up with a

lot worse than a broken toe.The beverage came, asexpected, in a forty-ouncepitcher,thecontentsofwhichdisappeared in a single gulp.And then came another.Andthey kept coming while Igingerly sippedmybeer.Wetalked about work andmovies, about his farm inNorth Carolina where heraised horses, his relativesbackinFranceand,ofcourse,

about life. André was amanunlike any other—truly oneof a kind. I remember himsaying something quitepoignanttome,thathewouldgive anything to be able tospend just one day beingregular size so he could gounnoticed.

“But you know what,boss?”hecontinued.

“What?”Iasked.

“I amstill grateful formylife.”

“Howcome?”Iresponded.“Because I have had an

incredible one!” he saidwithgusto.

And he was right aboutthat!

While we were talking, Inoticedamanat thebarwhoseemednevertotakehiseyesoffAndré. I didn’t think thisunusual, since André drew

stares and fans wherever hewent.Perhaps thisguywasaseriousfan.ThenAndrégavemeanudge,anindicationthatit was time to move on. Irememberhimrefusing to letme pay for the drinks.Something André wouldneverletyoudo.

“No, no, boss. I gotthis . . . ,” he said whileleaving Frank a hundred-dollartip.

We went out to the car,drove a few blocks, andwandered into another ofAndré’s haunts. There wasanother beer, moreAmericans, moreconversation,morelaughs.

That’s the way it went,barhoppingtoAndré’shauntsall overManhattan formanyhours. Thankfully, I realizedvery early on in theproceedings that I would be

inway overmy head,whichis why I only ordered beer,while André inhaled hisAmericans three or four at atimeinsomecases.Atoneofthe establishments I noticedthe very same guy from thebar earlier on, sitting at atable, still staring atAndré. Icontinued to thinknothingofituntilwegottothenextbar,and there he was again—the

same guy! I leaned over toAndré.

“Hey, André. I think thatguy is following us,” Iwhisperedconspiratorially.

“Where?” he responded,his large brow suddenlyfurrowing as he turned hisheadtolookinthedirectionIhadbeenlooking.

Ithoughttomyself,Ifthisfellow turned out to be a

threat, he wasn’t going toremainoneforlong.

“Overthere...”I nodded in the direction

ofthestalkeratthetable,whochose to look away at thatmoment.

André leaned back andlooked at the guy. He thenturned back and noddednonchalantly.

“Oh, don’t worry abouthim.”

“Why? Do you know theguy?”

“It’salongstory.”Thatwas enough to pique

myinterest.André downed what

appeared to be the last eightounces of one of hisAmericans and put the jugback down on the bar. Afterwiping his mouth, he said,“He’sacop.”

“A what?” I responded,clearlyconfused.

“Apoliceman,”hereplied.It turnsout thatononeof

his nights out barhopping,Andréhadhadabittoomuchto drink. And while he waswaiting for his car from thevalet,heslippedandfellover.But he didn’t just fall on hisbutt,he fell righton topof avery surprised patron. I canonly imagine what that felt

likeforthepoorunsuspectingfellow, who must havethoughtabuildinghadlandedon him. It could have turnedouttobeamajorlawsuit,butI think the whole thing wassettled fairly quickly andquietly.Afterthat,theNYPDdecided thatwheneverAndréwent out for a drink, theywouldsendoneoftheirfinestto followhimandmake sure

he didn’t fall on anyoneagain.

“They said it was for myown safety!” This lastcomment brought a wry grinfromAndré.

I certainly didn’t disputethe story because, althoughAndré was very tall, hewasn’t prone to telling talltales.Anythingwas possible.Once he recognized theundercover cop, he bought

the guy a drink at every barfrom then on. The copresponded each time byholding up his glass inacknowledgment andcontinued to tail us for theentirenight.Prettynicegigifyoucangetit.

Sadly,Andrépassedawayin January of 1993 fromcongestiveheartfailure.Iwasshooting a Mel Brookscomedy at the time and

remember being heartbrokenupon learning the news. Itwas very hard to be funnythat day. Compounding thetragedy was finding out thathewasonlyforty-sixwhenhedied. André knew he wasn’tgoingtolivetoaripeoldageandeventoldBillyCrystalatone point during the shoot,“We don’t get such a goodbreak, the little guys and the

big guys. We don’t live solong.”

I think that is why Andrécarried himself in life withthat beatific smile of his.Henever took a single day forgranted, not knowing if itmight be his last.Hewantedto share how beautiful lifewas with everyone he cameinto contact with. Hewas asgenerous-heartedandsweetapersonasIeverhopetomeet.

The kind of guy who wouldgive you the shirt off hisback, a shirt big enough forfourorfivepeople.Heneverletanyonepayforamealoradrink as hewanted to be theone to give instead ofreceiving. This massive iconof a man taught me a lotabout appreciating the smallthingsinlifeandaboutlivinginthemoment,andIammorethan grateful to have known

him . . . I feel honored.AndinthatveinIamgratefulthatat least he enjoyed theexperienceofmakingthefilmasmuchastherestofusdid.I found out from his familyand friends that it had beenone of the highlights of hislife.Theytoldmethatafteritcame out, whatever city hewas wrestling in (which waslimited to mostly makingappearances since his back

operation had not been asuccess)hewould sneak intothebackofatheaterwhereitwas playing, and watch asmuch as he could withoutdrawing too much attention,and told everyone he justlovedit.

That memorable evening Ispent with André would beone ofmy last adventures in

making The Princess Bride.What was kind of sad wasthat it seemed destined backthen to be a relatively smallmovie, seen by only asmattering of people. Or soweallthought.

Then, out of the blue (Iguess if I had to figureout adate, it might have beenaround Christmas 1988), themoviestartedtotakeonalifeof itsown. Itwasabooming

timefor theVHSmarketandvideos had become anenormously popularChristmas gift. And whatbetter movie to share atChristmas than The PrincessBride?That firstyear, copiesflew off the shelves—andthey’ve been flying eversince,inoneformoranother.

My awareness of thisphenomenon began in thestrangest way, almost subtly,

with the occasional fancoming up to me in public,telling me they had recentlyrented or bought the movie,and how much it meant tothem.Within a year or so, itbecame commonplace.Waitresses taking my orderwould invariablyengage inaconversation that wentsomethingalongtheselines:

“Andhowwouldyou likethatcooked?”

“Medium-rare,please.”“As you wish!” Smile.

Occasionalwink.AtfirstIdidn’tknowhow

to respond. I had littlepractice in being in thesurreal position of becomingamatineeidol,whichiswhatWestley had suddenlybecome tomillions of youngwomen. It came out ofnowhere. And at the timethere didn’t seem to be a

reason for this. The PrincessBride had disappeared. Themovie was “mostly dead,” ifnot buried. And then,suddenly, it was everywhere.It had comeback to life in agloriously, wonderfully, anddeliciouslyunexpectedway.

The resurgence came as acomplete shock to me, as Ithink it was for the wholecast. But bewildermentquickly gave way to

gratitude. A deep, profoundappreciation for the goodfortune that had come myway.There’ssimplynootherway to put it: I felt blessed.The resurgence helped toboost my film career andprovide me with a trulywonderful life.Once you arerecognized from a particularrole or film, everythingbegins to change. And whenthe movie is as beloved as

ThePrincessBride,youhavebestowed upon yousomething akin toimmortality.

BILLYCRYSTALIt’sbeenoneofthelittlejewelsofmycareer.Veryoften,stilltothis day, in airports or movietheaters, people will walk byandgo,“Havefunstormingthecastle!”Or the reallycooloneswill whisper to me, “Don’t goswimming for an hour, a good

hour,”andthenjustwalkaway.Thosearethereallycoolones.

Among the acknowledgedfans of The Princess Brideare people who have heldsome of the most prominentand influential positions intheworld.OnJune1,1988,Igot a chance to visit theVatican with my mother.Through a series of contactsandconnectionsshearranged

abriefaudiencewithHisthenHolinessPopeJohnPaulII.Ididn’t realizeat the time thatthe pope had a great love ofthearts.Moreover,Iwouldn’tlearnuntillaterwhenIplayedhim in aTVmovie that as ayoungman inPoland he hadbeen an actor, a poet, and aplaywright. He wasincredibly literate and wellread. In essence, a trueRenaissance man. But who

would have guessed that hisinterests extended deep intopopularcultureaswell?

So imagine my surprisewhenweposedtogetherforaphoto,andthepopeturnedtome and smiled uponrecognizingme.

“Ah . . . You are theactor!”

“Yes,YourHoliness.”“The one from The

Princess and the Bride!” he

said, miscalculating the titlein a very sweet way thatmanypeoplestilldo.

Iwasstunned.“Your Holiness . . . ,” I

stammered. “You’ve . . .you’veseenthemovie?”

Henoddedapprovingly.“Yes,yes.Verygoodfilm.

Veryfunny.”As Iwrite this,PopeJohn

Paul II has just beencanonized at the Vatican,

which I guessmeanswe canliterally count a saint amongtheadmirersofourfilm.Whoknew?

Some years later, onMarch 5, 1998, I discoveredthatthefilmhadfanshighupin the government as well. Ihad recently finished filminga few episodes of an HBOminiseries produced by TomHanks entitled From theEarth to the Moon. The

series, aboutNASA’sApolloprogram,inwhichIportrayedMichael Collins fromApollo11, hadn’t yet aired, butluckily forus, itwasgivenarather spectacular andunprecedented liftoff. Oneday I got an unexpected callfromTomhimself.

“Please hold for Mr.Hanks,” his assistant said onthephone.

Then Tom came on theline.

“Hey, Cary,” he said,jovially.“Whatareyoudoingtwo weeks from Saturday?”hesaid,gettingstraighttothepoint.

“Notalot,why?”“Well, how do you feel

about going to the WhiteHouse?” he asked in thatwonderful playful way onlyTomHankscan.

“That’s a pretty sillyquestion,” I jokinglyresponded. “What’s theevent?”

Heexplainedthatitjustsohappened that the Clintonswere big fans of the NASAspace program, and theywanted to screen one of ourepisodes, specifically minedealing with Apollo 11, aspart of the White House’sMillenniumSeries.

“So get yourself a nicesuit, and we’ll see you in acouple of weeks, okay?” hesaidbeforesigningoff.

Sincetheserieshadtwelveepisodes, I was indeedfortunate that the one theClintons chose happened tobetheoneIwasin.

So my then fiancée (nowmy wife) and I flew toWashington, as part of anentourage that included of

course Tom Hanks and hiswonderfully talented wife,Rita, fellow producers RonHoward and Brian Grazer,then HBO chairman JeffBewkes, and head of HBOprogrammingChrisAlbrecht.All the available Apolloastronauts were invited,which was very cool, alongwith myself and my castmates, Bryan Cranston andTony Goldwyn. It was an

amazing evening, duringwhich President Clintonrevealed in a speech thatHillary, as a young girl, hadoncewrittenalettertoNASAexpressing an interest inbecoming an astronaut—acomment that brought biglaughs from the audience.The late JohnF.KennedyJr.was also there with hisbeautiful fiancée, CarolynBessette,anddeliveredavery

moving speech in which hedeclaredthespaceprogramtobe his father’s “proudestlegacy.”

After the screening therewasabigreceptioninoneofthe rooms in theWestWing.Theplacewaspacked,andinthecenteroftheroom,inthemiddle of this incredibleswarm of activity, was thetallest man in the place:President Clinton himself. I

remember thinking of it inmovieterms—thatifyouhadfilmedthisscenefromabove,it would have resembled awhirlpool-like vortex ofpeople, all hoping to getcloser to the epicenterwherethe president stood. Allhoping, like ourselves, for atwo-minuteaudiencewiththemost powerful, and maybethemostcharismatic,manontheplanet.Andyet,asstrange

as this informal meet-and-greet seemed, it all sort ofworked.

MyfiancéeandIpatientlywaitedinline,andeventuallywe found ourselves standingin front of the president. Istuckoutmyhandandbegantospeak.

“Mr. President, my nameis...”

I got no further than that,when he interruptedmewith

that wonderful Arkansasaccentofhis.

“I know exactly who youare, Cary,” he said warmly,like we were old buddies,rather than two people whohad nevermet before. As heshook my hand, he flashedthat million-dollar smile ofhis. Itwas like staring into asetofblindingheadlights.

Instantly I wonderedwhether something had

turned up in my backgroundcheck, the one performed onvirtually all White Houseguests before they can begranted access. The anxietymust have been obvious, asthe president quickly put meatease.

“Oh, no, no . . . It’s notwhatyouthink,”hesaid,stillsmiling broadly. “I justwanted you to know that

Chelsea and I are huge fansofThePrincessBride.”

Chelsea is, of course, BillandHillary’sdaughter.Itriedto picture them together,watching the movie like anyother family. It seemed atoncesweetandsurreal.

“You were great in thismovie tonight,” he added,referringtoFromtheEarthtothe Moon. “But you werefantastic as Westley. I just

love thatmovie!ChelseaandI must have seen it over ahundred times. I can quotealmosteveryline.”

I was, of course, bothflattered and speechless. Imanaged to respond, “Thankyou, Mr. President. Thatmeansagreatdealtome.”

After introducing myfiancée, who was standingright next tome, she quicklyseizedthemoment.

“Mr. President, what ifCary sent Chelsea anautographed copy of thescript? Do you think shewouldlikethat?”

Thepresidentimmediatelylockedeyeswithher.

“You know what, LisaMarie?” he said. “I thinkshe’dlikethatagreatdeal.”

Hethenturnedbacktome.“Youthinkyoucoulddothatforher,Cary?”

“Absolutely, Mr.President. It would be mypleasure,” I quicklyresponded.

Assoonaswegotbacktothe hotel, I called Rob. Icouldn’t wait to share thenews.

“Did you know thepresidentwasafan?”Iasked.

“You’rekidding.”He was just as

dumbfounded and delighted

asIwas.A few weeks later I sent

Chelsea the signed script.And a few days after that, Ireceived a very graciousthank-you letter fromPresidentClinton,which stillhangs on the wall of myoffice.

People have often asked mewhat my strangest encounter

with a fanwas. I oncemet ayoung lady who politelyintroduced herself, thenproceeded to tell me howmuchthemoviemeanttoher.Aftershewasdoneshesweptasideherlonghairtorevealafreshly imprinted and veryredtattooofthewordsAsyouwish inornatecalligraphyonthe back of her neck. Sheasked me to sign it with aSharpie so she could addmy

signature as a tattoo.Naturally I hesitated,wondering whether it wasappropriate or not, but hermother, who was standingrightnexttoher,insisted.

ROBREINERI have had many encounterswith many people from allwalks of life who love themovie.But thestrangesthadtobe this one: One night NoraEphron and her husband, Nick

Pileggi, who wrote thescreenplay to the movieGoodfellas, wanted to take meto a restaurant in New Yorkwhere the mobster John Gottiliked to eat. So we went, andsure enough, at the end ofdinner in walks Gotti with sixwiseguys.AfterwefinishedthemealIwalkoutsideandthere’soneofthesegoodfellasstandingin front of a huge limo wholookedjustlikeLucaBrasifromTheGodfather.He looks downatme and he goes, “Hey!Youkilled my father. Prepare to

die!”And I just froze.Thenhestarts laughing and says: “ThePrincess Bride! I love thatmovie!”Ialmostfelloverrightinthestreet!

It’s humbling, to say theleast, to realize that you arepart of something that hastouched a lot of people’shearts(andskin).AsI’vesaidmanytimes,I’msurethatmytombstonewillprobablybear

the wordsAs YouWish, andI’mtotallycoolwiththat.It’sa wonderful thing to beassociated with such abeautiful, funny,warmhearted movie. Onewhose popularity has shownnosignofwaning.

MANDYPATINKINItwasoneofthetrueprivilegesofmy life to be asked to havebeen in this film.Andmost of

all, to get to have lived longenough to witness what it hasbecome, to see the pleasure ithas brought to so manygenerations.Ihadnoideathatitwould have this effect onpeople.Iguesstherealpleasureof it is that thismovie becamefar more than any of us everdreamedorimagined.

Aquartercenturylater,theentire cast (minus those whohave sadly passed on—

André, Peter Falk, PeterCook, and Mel Smith)assembled, not merely as anact of nostalgia, but tocelebrate something that hasremained as vibrant today asit was when it was firstreleased.

That much was evidentwhen we got together atLincolnCenter, as the crowdcheered with the entrance ofeachcharacteron-screen,and

shouted along with famouslines,working themselves upinto a fervor. It waswonderful to experience thatkind of response with thepeople who made it happen,some ofwhom I hadn’t seeninyears.

Watching themovie againtwenty-fiveyearslaterIaminawe of howmasterfully Robdirected it. I still stick to thetheory that he was really the

onlydirectorwhocouldhavepulleditoff.Hehadtherightsensibility, the right sense ofhumor—just the right touchtodo it.Thewayhedirected—the performances, theshots, the editing, theproduction value, the score,everything. There’s not asingle frame on-screen thatwasn’tsupposedtobethere.

BILLYCRYSTAL

Pretty much everybody wasthereatthetwenty-fifthreunionat Lincoln Center. It wasfantastic tosee them,and therewere, I don’t know, maybefifteen hundred people in thetheater.Ihadn’tseenitwithanaudience since the premiere,andthatwassomanyyearsago.And back then it wasn’t a bigdeal. But now! This was likeThe Rocky Horror PictureShow. People went berserk. Itwas so moving to me. Whensomeone would make theirentrance in the movie, the

audiencewouldapplaud.Itwaslikeseeingafavoriteactor inaBroadway show. There werenoticeable tears when PeterFalk came in to read in thebeginning. They chanted lines:“Inconceivable!”Applause.TheSoutheast Asia line. Applause.“Havefunstormingthecastle!”And so on. They knew all thelines.Itwasabsolutelyinsane!

After the screening wewere all patting him on the

back,tellinghimhowgreatitstillwas,andallhecouldsaywas,“It’skindoffun,right?”And we were saying, “Rob!It’s a great movie!” Hisresponse to that was, “Youthink?”Heistrulyfilledwithhumility about his own giftsas a director. It is just oneamong many very endearingqualitieshepossesses.

We also found out thatnight that Goldman hadn’t

seen the movie with anaudience since the initialToronto premiere back in1987.Buthesatrightbehindme at the Lincoln Centerevent and I could hear him,becausehehasaverydistinctvoice. Every time theaudience oohed, aahed,cheered,laughed,orrecitedaline, Bill would practicallygush: “Oh, my goodness.This is incredible!” He was

stunnedbythereception.Andafterward, as we prepared togo onstage and answerquestions in front of a liveaudience, I found myselfstandingnexttohim.

“Well, Bill, what do yathink?”Iasked.

“I had no idea,” he saidincredulously. “It’sincredible. They knew everyline.Theylovedit!”

WILLIAMGOLDMANThis movie was a remarkableexperience—the bestexperienceI’veeverhad.Itjustworked.You never knowwhy,andyouwishitwouldworklikethatall the time,but itdoesn’t.You never knowwhat’s gonnahappen with a movie when itcomesout.Evenifyou’vegotagreat cast and it’s wonderfullydirected, you just never know.All Iknowis it’sdifferent. It’san odd piece. But now it’sbecome thiswhole thing, and I

had no idea it would happen.I’llmeet somebody and they’llsay, “My daughter is twenty-eight and it’s her favoritemovie,” or whatever. Peopleseemtoloveit.

I smiled and gave him ahug. “Of course they did,Bill. You wrote somethingbeautiful.”

Billnodded.Foramomentit looked as thoughhemightstart weeping with joy. But

before he could do that,Robtook the stage and the crowdroared. After he thanked theaudience for coming, hebegancallingusoutonto thestage and we all took ourseatsnexttooneanotherforapost-screening Q&A, whichwas moderated by the FilmSociety of Lincoln Center’sScott Foundas, who alsoorganized the event. Werecountedtalesofmakingthe

movie.What impact the filmhas had on us all. All thetimes we have had our linesspokenbacktous,etc.Wallysaid that he believes thateveryonehemeetsthinksthattheyarethefirstonestocomeupwiththeideaofsayinghislines back to him. Billy toldof how he recently sat downtowatchthefilmwithhistwogrown daughters and hisgrandchildren,whichwas the

“as you wish” moment forhim, and how love for thefilm will most likely endurethroughgenerations.

Then Bill, who was stillvery emotional from thescreening, was asked a verypoignant question aboutwhetherornot therewasanychance he would finish thesequel, entitled Buttercup’sBaby, a chapter of which isincluded in the thirtieth-

anniversary edition of thenovel.Billsortofbrokedownalittlebit,saying,“I’vebeentrying for twenty years to doit. I’m desperate to write itbut I don’t know how . . . Iwould love to make ithappen, more than anythingelse I’ve not written, but Ican’t . . . I can’t crack thestory.”Itwasverymoving.

Atonepointayoungmanfrom the audience asked

Robin if she would take a“selfie”withhim,asitwouldfulfill a boyhood dream ofhis. Robin of coursegraciously complied. I wasthen asked to do myimpersonation of Fat AlbertthatsoimpressedRobonourfirst meeting and of course Icouldn’t let the audiencedown. The evening was oneof the most enjoyableexperiences of my career. I

onlyhopethatwegettodoitagain in fivemore years . . .oreventen.Perhapsagoldenanniversary of The PrincessBride?

Inconceivable?Maybenot.Whyhasthisfilmendured

when so many othershaven’t?Whatisitaboutthisparticular film that struck anerve with audiences aroundthe world to make it thebeloved movie it is today?

And I’m not suggesting it isCitizen Kane, but it hasendured. There are manytheories,buttruthfullyIdon’tthink anyone really knows.Does anyone know anythingabout what makes a goodmovie? Mr. Goldman, weknow, thinks not. I have atheory.Soforwhatit’sworth,here it is . . . I think that thefilm has endured because itwasmadewithalotofheart.

Andforthatwereallyhavetolookatthecreativeandtenderhearts of Bill Goldman andRob Reiner. Both men arevery different people whocame from very differentbackgrounds, but they shareonethingincommon...theyhaveneverlosttouchwiththelove in their hearts forstorytelling. And in this filmtheywereabletoexplorethatlove of storytelling in a way

they perhaps will never beable to again: the telling ofthe most extraordinary fairytale/adventure story aboutstorytelling that can now becountedasaclassic.

FREDSAVAGEIrememberyearsago,I thinkIwas in high school, or just incollege, I ran intoMandy. Justcompletely randomly, walkingpast himon the street.Wehadnevermet,sincewedidn’tshare

oneminuteofscreentime.Andwe had nothing in commonother than this movie. And Iwas like, “I think we have tohug, right?We’re both part ofthis thing.” And we did! Wehugged! And I felt this realconnection with him, becausethis thing just pulled all thesepeople together. I feel like myexperiencewasunique in thatIwasn’t part of the camaraderieof the filmmaking. It was veryseparate, in the film and in theshooting. And so I never metmost of these people. But we

still have this commonexperience that’s kind offoreverlinkedusall.

CAROLKANEIt’s almost like a real family.Youknow,whenyouallget tosit down together. And now,becausethismovieislasting,itcontinues to happen. Whichreallyisanotherprivilege.

BILLYCRYSTALIt’slikeagreatoldhatthatyoucan pass down that somebodyofthenextgenerationcanwear

and it still fits, you know?That’swhatitis.Also,youcansittherewithalittleonenexttoyou and you don’t have toworryaboutputtingyourhandsover his eyes because there’ssomething scary or over theirears because they shouldn’thear something. Everything’sdone with a charm. TheRodents of Unusual Size, theShriekingEels—it’salldoneina playful kind of way. If youlookatthoserodents,youknowthere’s a little person inside. I

mean, you just know, but Ithinkthat’swhatit’sabout.

The film is indeedmagical. It makes you feelmany different things uponevery viewing. As BillyCrystalhassaid,itmakesyoufeelgood. Itmakesyoumissyourchildhood.Itmakesyouwant to have someone readstoriestoyouagain.Itmakes

you want to kiss yoursweetheart, fight a duel, orride a white horse into thesunset . . . all in thenameoflove. Inshort, it’s theperfectfairytale.

AsI look throughmypileof fanmail I know that eventoday this film continues totouch the hearts of so manychildren, teenagers, andadults around the world.Wegrowold but it doesn’t seem

to. It has discovered thefountain of youth. It is stillout there, expanding andgrowing in ways we couldnever have imagined, and inways we can’t control. Wedon’t own it anymore. Noneof us do—not I, nor any ofthe other cast members. NotRob Reiner, not NormanLear. Maybe not even BillGoldman.

It belongs to everyonenow.

And if you are amongthose who enjoyed this filmhalf as much as we didmaking it, then all I can sayis...

Well...youknow.

EPILOGUE

Iwasworking on a deadlineto finish my own memoirwhen I was invited to attendthe twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreening of Rob Reiner’sfilm of William Goldman’sglorious, one-of-a-kind book

The Princess Bride, starringthe author of the volume forwhichIdelightedlywritethisepilogue,CaryElwes.

While I couldn’t get toNew York and LincolnCenter,whereanaudienceofover a thousand fansecstatically shouted out onememorable line after anotheralong with the actors on thescreen, at least a dozenpeoplephonedandtextedme

astotheenormoussuccessofthescreening.

Nothing I have ever beenconnectedtohashadagreaterandmorelovingimpactonitsaudience.Letmebequick tosay I had nothing to dowithThe Princess Bridecreatively. My erstwhileassociate Mark E. Pollackoversaw the filming from abusiness standpoint; I simplyfell in love with Goldman’s

book, then his screenplay,and agreed to finance thefilm.Itstunnedmethateverystudio had turned it down,even with the likes ofNorman Jewison, RobertRedford, and FrançoisTruffaut attached to it.Having worked with RobReiner for nine years I knewitwasrightupRob’salley—which is where I lived aswell. William Goldman’s

scriptwasdeliciouslyfaithfulto his book and Rob Reinerbringing Bill’s characters tolife was the perfectprescription for aheartwarming and hilariousfilm.

Robandhispartner,AndyScheinman, cast the picturebrilliantly, what with RobinWright as Buttercup; MandyPatinkin as Inigo Montoya;Wallace Shawn as Vizzini;

BillyCrystalasMiracleMax;André the Giant as Fezzik;PeterFalkastheGrandfather;Chris Sarandon as PrinceHumperdinck;CarolKane asValerie; Fred Savage as theGrandson; Peter Cook as theImpressive Clergyman; and,of course, Cary Elwes, theonly actor I could everimagineasWestley.The Princess Bride has to

beoneofthemostbeloved—

not awordusedoften in thiscontext—pieces of cinemaextant.Nothinghasmadememore proud than myrelationshiptoit.

—NormanLear

GettingfriedintheFireSwamp.ThepyroalmostgaveBillGoldmanaheartattackonthefirstdayofshooting.HStage,Shepperton.August18,1986.

Farminginburlap.Birchover,Derbyshire.

Swashbucklinginsuede.HStage.

Rodentcontrol:DisguisedasaR.O.U.S.,stuntmanandactor,DannyBlackner,attemptstobite

myshoulderwithrubberteethduringrehearsal.

Explainingthatthereareno“summerhomes”inEnglandtoRobandRobin.FirstdayoftheFireSwamp.

RobputtinghiswonderfullypositivespinonthevirtuesofwrestlingafoamrubberR.O.U.S.AsomewhatskepticalPeterDiamond(farright)looksonwithKenBaker,firstAD(secondfromtheright),andmystuntdouble

AndyBradford(inthebackground).HStage.

ExperiencingAndré’smightywindwithMandy.HaddonHall,Derbyshire.September1.

ChrisSarandon,Rob,andChrisGuestdiscussweektwoof“chapatis.”HaddonHall.

MarvelingatthesheerbeautyofButtercup.

SharingalaughwithRobin.CaveDale,Castleton.

Infull“serf”gear.WatchingRobandAndy’snewfavoritesport—sheepherding!Ascenethatnearlymadeitintothefilm.BradleyRocks,Birchover.

AttemptingtheHeimlichonAndréthePeak.Stanton-in-Peak,PeakDistrict,Derbyshire.

AnotherlostdaytofineEnglishweather.

BFFsBillyCrystalandRobReiner.Billy’souttakesforMiracleMaxweresohystericalRobandIhadtowatchthemfromamonitoroutsidethesoundstage.“MiracleMax’sHovel,”MStage,Shepperton.

“Wearebutpoor,lostcircusperformers...”Inconceivably,WallaceShawnwassoconvincedthathewasgoingtobereplacedhegavehimselfhives.HeverCastle,Kent.October22.

DefendingButtercupfrom...

theseguys...Humperdinckandhisstooge,CountRugen.WithinanhourofthesestillsbeingtakenIwouldwindupinthehospital.BurnhamBeeches,Buckinghamshire.October31.

NotonlyamInotleft-handed,Iamnotoperatingwithafullyfunctionallefttoe,either.CStage,Shepperton.November11.

Mandyposingforhisactionfigure.CStage.

ChriswantedtohaveRugenemitafearfullittlefartjustbeforerunningawayfromMontoya.BanquetHall,PenshurstPlace,Kent.November26.

RobinstructingusinthenuancesofTheKissThatLeftAlltheOthersBehind.

Andcaptured!Sixtakes,allprinted.DStage,Shepperton.November21.

Mylastdayofshooting.Fromleft:AndyScheinman,me,RobinWright,André,ChrisGuest,andRobReiner.

WithPresidentClinton.TheWhiteHouse.March5,1998.

Fromleft:Myself,RobinWright,MandyPatinkin,ChrisSarandon,WallyShawn,CarolKane,andBillyCrystal.Celebratingthe25thAnniversaryattheNewYorkFilmFestival.AliceTullyHall,LincolnCenter.October2,2012.PhotobyStephenLovekin/GettyImages

OnstageatLincolnCenter.Fromleft:RobReiner,RobinWright,WilliamGoldman,WallaceShawn,ChrisSarandon,MandyPatinkin,CarolKane,me,BillyCrystal,andthemoderator,ScottFoundas.October2,2012.©DavidGodlis

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

You’ve heard the saying “ittakes a village to raise achild.”Well, it takes a smallvillagetowriteabook.IhavetostartbyacknowledgingJoeLayden, who co-wrote thebookwithme.Icouldn’thave

doneitwithouthim,andIamforever indebted to theamount ofwork he put in totheprocess.ImustalsothankWilliam Goldman, whoseapprovalIneededtowritethebook in the first place. SinceThePrincessBride isstillhisfavorite material, he wasnaturally unsure about theidea at first. But after a fewconversations on the phone,duringwhichIexplainedhow

it would be tenderlyapproached, he finallyrelented and gave mepermission.AndforthatIamtruly grateful; otherwise Iwould not be sitting herewritinganyof this.Iamalsograteful for his booksAdventures in the ScreenTrade and Which Lie Did ITell?, which were a joy toreread after so many yearsand gave me a fascinating

insight into his state ofmindduringtheprocessoftryingtogetthefilmoffthegroundinthefirstplace.

Next is our superlativeproducer,Norman Lear,whoI thank not only for hiswonderful epilogue, but forprovidingmewithallthecallsheetsandscriptnotes,whichhe said would help jog mymemory. He was right, theymostcertainlydid.Ialsohave

to thank him for sharing allthe wonderful photographsfrom Act III’s privatecollection, which now gracethis tome. Indeed I am trulygratefultoallthefolksatActIII—especially Julie Dyer,PennyWright, Jackie Jensen,and their archivist, JeanAndersen—for assisting meintheresearchforthisbook.

IhavetothankRobReinerfor his great foreword, and

also thank him, AndyScheinman, and the wholecast—including RobinWright,BillyCrystal,MandyPatinkin, Christopher Guest,Chris Sarandon, Carol Kane,Wallace Shawn, and FredSavage—for contributingtheir memories to the book.ThisbookmighthavemyandJoe Layden’s names on thecover as authors, but theseguysalltooktimeoutoftheir

busy schedules to shareremembrances about theirpersonal experiences on themaking of the film, withoutwhich this book would nothavebeenpossible.Iamalsograteful to André’s family,friends, and associates, whohelped fill in his feelingsabout the film, especially toRobin Christensen and MarcSpiegel. I am also deeplyindebted to my dear friend,

Birgit Michelini, for makingall thosevisits to theVaticanarchivesonourbehalf.

I have to thank mypublisher, Touchstone, forhavingfaithinmetopullthisoff in the first place. Thanksgo to my editor, MatthewBenjamin, who gentlynurturedmywriting journey,and to all the other folks atTouchstone and Simon &Schuster who helped in the

creation of this book andsupportedmeandtaughtmeagreat deal in the process,including Sophie Vershbow,Brian Belfiglio, MeredithVilarello,DavidFalk,JessicaChin, Laura Flavin, ElaineWilson,andlastbutnotleast,Susan Moldow and SallyKim.

I am seriously indebted tothe talented Shepard Faireyfordesigning themagnificent

poster for the sleeve.And tohiswife,Amanda,forhelpingto make it happen. It turnedout greater than we couldhave imagined. (And if youwouldliketolearnalittlebitmore about Shepard Fairey,just turn the page.) I need tothank my manager BenLevine, who suggested theidea for thisbook in the firstplace and never wavered inhis belief that itwould come

to pass.And Iwant to thankmy other manager, RyanBundra, and my agent,Katherine Latshaw, forhelping make the dealhappen.

I would be remiss if Ididn’t give thanks to myincredibly patient wife, LisaMarie,whohadtoenduremybeing sequestered for weeksatatimeinordertomakethemanydeadlinesforthisbook.

Being apart from my familywas perhaps the hardest partof theprocessofwriting thismini-memoir and I amgrateful to her and ourdaughter for being sounderstanding (and to Skypefor helping make it a littlelessunbearable!).

Finally,Iwanttothanktheincredibly loyal fans of ThePrincess Bride, who nowspangenerations.Youarethe

ones who have continued tokeep this film alive after aquarter century, and thusmadethisbookpossible.Iamforeverindebtedtoyouall.

YourhumbleWestley,C.E.

Shepard Fairey was born inCharleston, South Carolina.He received his Bachelor ofFineArtsinIllustrationattheRhode Island School ofDesign inProvidence,RhodeIsland. While at R.I.S.D. hecreated the “OBEYGIANT”art campaign, with imagerythat has changed the waypeople see art and the urbanlandscape. His work hasevolved into an acclaimed

body of art that includes the2008 “HOPE” portrait ofBarackObama,whichcanbefound in the Smithsonian’sNationalPortraitGallery.

Sincethestartofhiscareerin 1989, he has exhibited ingalleries and museumsaroundtheworld,bothindoorwith his fine art and outdoorwithhisstreetartandmurals.His works are in thepermanent collections of the

Museum of Modern Art(MoMA), the Victoria andAlbert Museum, the BostonInstitute of ContemporaryArt, the San FranciscoMuseumofModernArt, andmanyothers.

Formoreinformation,visitwww.obeygiant.com.

LANCESTAEDLER

CARYELWES is acelebrated English actorwho starred asWestley inThePrincessBrideaswellas inRobinHood:Men inTights, Glory, Days ofThunder,Twister,andSaw,among many otheracclaimed performances.

Hewillalwaysbeindebtedto The Princess Bride forchanging his life andgiving him a career thathas spanned decades. Helives in Hollywood,California,withhisfamily.Find outmore about CaryElwes at Twitter@Cary_Elwes.

JOE LAYDENhasauthoredorcoauthored

more than thirty books,including multiple NewYorkTimesbestsellers.

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Nunn,Trevor,13

Octopussy(film),12O’Dell,Shaun,189OneDayataTime(TVshow),22Oscarawards,33

Palin,Michael,40,144Patinkin,Mandy:

AndrétheGiantand,119,120,124–25,167

castingof,23–31,41,242cast’stablereadand,52CliffsofInsanitysceneand,158–59,160

BillyCrystaland,165,166,169film’smarketingand,222onfilm’ssuccess,234onWilliamGoldman,216insecurityand,71kidnappedButtercupscenesand,148

laughingonsetand,124–25InigoMontoyaroleand,146quotingpopularlinesand,5RobReinerand,53,71,72,139,140

FredSavageand,238WallaceShawnand,160shootingfinalscenesand,212,213MelSmithand,197onstrengthofscript,60

swordfightingandtraining,67,69–71,73–84,85,86,126–28,184,187,189,195–208,202

twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4,6

Yentland,88PeakDistrict,7,111–13,136,155People’sChoiceAwards,219Petty,Tom,17–18,191Peverel,William,theElder,112Pickens,Slim,123Pickford,Mary,112Pileggi,Nick,233PinewoodStudios,18PinkPantherseries(films),144PitofDespairscenes,40,58,188,197,198

P.J.Clarke’s(bar),224Pollack,MarkE.,241PontiacSilverdome,122PrideandPrejudice(film),113PrincessBride(album),192ThePrincessBride(film):

castingof,18,41–45cast’smutualaffectionandrespect,3–4,113,131–33,170,238

cast’stablereadof,47–56,59–61cateringfor,129–30asclassic,4–10criticalreviews,7–8,220–21“DevelopmentHell”and,16–20director’simportanceand,132–35distributionof,22–23asfamilyfilm,8,167–68

FireSwampscenes,58,85–110,187

grossreceiptsfor,222HaddonHalland,111–14high-profilefansof,229–33as“impossible”tomake,13,16–17,20–22

injuriesduringfilming,165,169,173–87,189–91,196,202,206,211,224

NormanLearand,242marketingof,218,219,222–23NewYorkFilmFestivalscreenings,3,221

plotsynopsisof,56–59popularquotesfrom,4–5,9,59,157,169–70,228,234,235,236

popularresurgenceof,8–9,228–29pre-productionand,33–45screeningofroughcut,217–18swordfighttraining,65–84TorontoFilmFestivalscreening,4,218–19,220,221,235

tourisminthePeakDistrictand,113

twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreening,3,4,9,234–37,241

weather’seffectonfilming,135–38ThePrincessBride(Goldman),7,12,14,16,20,26,34,55

ThePrisonerofZenda(film),201Pryor,Richard,24

quicksandscene,100–103

Radner,Gilda,217–18Ragtime(film),52,71RaidersoftheLostArc(film),68Redford,Robert,20,22,42,242Reiner,Carl:

WilliamGoldmanand,19–21asRobReiner’sfather,25screeningofroughcutoffilmand,217,218

sincerity/satirebalanceand,107Reiner,Rob:

AndrétheGiantand,48–51,120,124–26,213

DannyBlacknerand,105–7castingand,11–16,23–31,41–44,242

cast’stablereadand,47–56,59–60

cateringand,130BillClintonand,233cookingforcastand,139–40criticalresponsetofilmand,220BillyCrystaland,93,155,164,165,166

asdirector,7,17–21,93,133–38,174,182–84,216,235

CaryElwesand,11–16,25,113,137,141,144,161,177–79,181–85,189–91,198,211,237

endofproductionand,216Englishfoodand,138–40PeterFalkand,171film’smarketingand,219,222,223film’spopularresurgenceand,239film’sreleaseand,217–19

FireSwampscenesand,85–88,91–99,101–3,105–10

WilliamGoldmanand,20,21–22,23,88,91,94,95

JohnGottiand,233ChristopherGuestand,139,140HaddonHallfilmingand,114CarolKaneand,133,155laughterduringtakesand,124–26,155,165,167,168,169,198

loveofstorytelling,237–38“mostlydead”and,115–16,123,168

MandyPatinkinand,53,71,72,139,140

playingdartsand,140–41pre-productionand,36,39–41

AndyScheinmanand,21,23,93,128,137–38,140

WallaceShawnand,152,153,154–55,157,158,159,160

sheepdogtrialsand,140–41shootingfinalscenesand,212–15swordfightingscenesand,66–67,70,78,81,196–201,203,204,206–8

teabreaksand,128–29,135ThisisSpinalTapand,11,17–18,20

twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4,235–37,241

USSCoralSeahatand,191–92weather’seffectonfilmingand,135–38

ReturnoftheJedi(film),104Richards,Terry,174–77,179RippingYarns(TVshow),144Roberts,Bartholomew,38RobinHood(film),67Robinson,Harriet,11,12,14,15,29,31

TheRockyHorrorPictureShow(film),9,235

RodentsofUnusualSize,4,7,58,65,103–7,106,109–10,238

RollingStones(rockband),122Roussimoff,AndréRené.SeeAndrétheGiant

Roussimoff,Boris,119RoyalAcademyofDramaticArts,68RoyalShakespeareCompany,13

Salinger,J.D.,152SanfordandSon(TVshow),22SantaBarbara(TVshow),42,43,61,143,146

SarahLawrenceCollege,27Sarandon,Chris:

AndrétheGiantand,127“CaptainKangaroo”firewardenand,115

castingof,41,42,52,242cast’stablereadand,51CaryElwesand,54onEnglishcrews,40WilliamGoldmanand,42,52Humperdinckroleand,146movieposterand,220RobReinerand,134,140

twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4

RobinWrightand,54Sarandon,Susan,42SaturdayNightLive(TVshow),23–24,27,53,162

Savage,Fred:alternateendingsceneand,212bedroomsetfor,40castingof,242cast’smutualaffectionandrespect,238

cast’stablereadand,52CaryElwesand,170–71PeterFalkand,7,170–71,210film’smarketingand,222film’sposterand,219

MandyPatinkinand,238twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4

USSCoralSeahatand,191Saw(film),6Scaramouche(film),201TheScarletPimpernel(film),201Scheinman,Andy:

AndrétheGiantand,48–49,50–51,62,63,117,120,122

DannyBlacknerand,105–7castingand,11,14–15,24–26,28,29,30,43,242

cast’stablereadand,47–51,54Chernobylaccidentand,16,26decisiontoproducefilmand,19

CaryElwesand,11,14–15,103,144,183

Englishfoodand,138,139film’smarketingand,223quicksandsceneand,103RobReinerand,21,23,93,128,137–38,140

RodentsofUnusualSizeand,107WallaceShawnand,152,154,160swordfightingscenesand,66,198

Schwarzenegger,Arnold,22,53,219SCTV(TVshow),144TheSeaHawk(film),78,201TheSeason(Goldman),20Sellers,Peter,144Shawn,Wallace:

AndrétheGiantand,159,160

BattleofWitssceneand,128,155–58

castingof,41,151,152,242cast’stablereadand,51CliffsofInsanitysceneand,158–59,160

CaryElwesand,153insecuritiesof,152–59kidnappedButtercupscenesand,148

quotingpopularlinesand,157,236RobReinerand,152,153,154–55,157,158,159,160

swordfightingscenesand,202twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4,236

RobinWrightand,147

Shearer,Harry,18sheepdogtrials,140–41SheppertonStudios:

CliffsofInsanityset,127,159,160,191,202

FireSwampsetat,40,85FXDepartmentand,36–37shootingscenesand,152,212

TheSixMillionDollarMan(TVshow),48,53

Smith,Mel,197–98,197,234Soap(TVshow),24SomethingDifferent(play),20Spielberg,Steven,88TheSpyWhoLovedMe(film),49StandbyMe(film),18,22StarWars(film),36,37,68,95

Stengel,Casey,asinspirationforMiracleMaxmakeup,162

Sting(musician),18,191Storry,Malcolm,126StudioBabelsberg,15SundayintheParkwithGeorge(film),71

TheSureThing(film),17,18,20

Taxi(TVshow),24,163TheTempleofGold(Goldman),20Thibaultd’Anvers,Gerard,66ThisisSpinalTap(film):

ChristopherGuestand,18,23,188,216

RobReinerand,11–17,18,20NigelTufnel’samp,200USSCoralSeahatfrom,191–92

TheThreeMusketeers(film),201TimeBandits(film),40,212TonyAwards,71TorontoFilmFestival,4,218–19,220,221,235

TorontoInternationalFilmFestival,218TreatiseontheScienceofArmswithPhilosophicalDialogue(Agrippa),66

Truffaut,François,17,18,22,24220thCenturyFox,21,22–23,217,218,220,222,223

Twister(film),62001:ASpaceOdyssey(film),36

Vernon,Dorothy,112Vernon,George,112VHSvideomarket,8,228

WaitingforGodot(Beckett),120WaitingforGuffman(film),188Webber,AndrewLloyd,71WhichLieDidITell(Goldman),86Wilder,Gene,217–18WilliamMorrisAgency,14WilliamtheConqueror,112Winters,Jonathan,24TheWizardofOz(film),8,40,165,222Wright,Robin:

AndrétheGiantand,63,117,118,148

Buttercuproleand,145–49castingof,25,41–45,54,242cast’stablereadand,53CliffsofInsanitysceneand,158–59

CaryElwesand,41–44,60–61,96–99,143–49,183,186

endofproductionand,216FireSwampscenesand,85,87,90,96–100,102–3

WilliamGoldmanand,43,44imitatingaccentsand,44,61,143–44

laughingonsetand,107RobReinerand,140WallaceShawnand,157shootingfinalscenesand,212–15twenty-fifth-anniversaryscreeningand,4,237

Writer’sGuildofAmerica,9Wyeth,N.C.,36

Yentl(film),71,88

YourTurntoCurtsy,MyTurntoBow(Goldman),20

ZigfieldTheater,221Zorro(film),35

TouchstoneADivisionofSimon&Schuster,Inc.1230AvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NY10020www.SimonandSchuster.com

Allrightsreserved,includingtherighttoreproducethisbookorportionsthereofinanyformwhatsoever.ForinformationaddressTouchstoneSubsidiaryRightsDepartment,1230

AvenueoftheAmericas,NewYork,NY10020.

FirstTouchstonehardcovereditionOctober2014

TOUCHSTONEandcolophonareregisteredtrademarksofSimon&Schuster,Inc.

Unlessotherwisecredited,allphotographsarecourtesyofThePrincessBride,Ltd.

TheSimon&SchusterSpeakersBureaucanbringauthorstoyourliveevent.FormoreinformationortobookaneventcontacttheSimon&SchusterSpeakers

Bureauat1-866-248-3049orvisitourwebsiteatwww.simonspeakers.com.

InteriordesignbyRuthLee-MuiJacketphotographs:ImagesfromThePrincessBride,courtesyofActIIIProductions,LPandThePrincessBride,Ltd.

LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationDataElwes,Cary.Asyouwish:inconceivabletales

fromthemakingofTheprincessbride/CaryElweswithJoeLayden.

pagescmIncludesindex.

1.Princessbride(Motionpicture)2.Elwes,Cary.I.Layden,Joe.II.Title.PN1997.P74534E692014791.43'72—dc232014014652

ISBN978-1-4767-6402-3ISBN978-1-4767-6403-0(ebook)

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