the abc of joss whedon warner

THE ABC* OF JOSS WHEDON WARNER

*Asylum Bachelor Challenge

Part One!

Meet our bachelor, the badass son of DocSupremeNerd and my very self sufficient Bad Apple, Australia Warner. This isn’t your normal bachelor challenge, you see bachelor challenges are boring and they are the same things over and over. Asylum challenges, now that is where it is at. Especially with ACR. Especially with ACR and Larger Households. Especially with ACR, Larger Households, and Random Triplets/Quads. So that’s what we’re going to do here. Except scoring is going to be a little different. I am going to keep track of things like the “Firsts” and how many kids he has with each person as well as take off points for dying, picking fights, peeing themselves, passing out. You know, the fun stuff. His woman needs to be self sufficient, you know.

Positives:

Firsts = 1 point a piece

Children = 5 points a piece

ACR the one = 5 points

Negatives:

Dying = - 5 points

Fight with Bachelor = -5 per fight

Peeing self = -1 point

Passing out = -1 point (includes plate naps)

Nervous Breakdown = -1 point.

Now meet your caretaker for this challenge. Andrea Shin Fitzhugh. Mad maid and the antagonist of my last plot arc.

She’s also a family sim who wants to have 6 grandchildren. It’s okay, I have a plan.

As a note, I am not going to be controlling Joss but I am going to be looking at his panels, this for keeping track of the firsts. I also am going to allow any children born in to be controllable until they are actually kids. This is because I want them to ask for food or diaper changes. I am also going to reserve the right at any given time to allow me to give eight commands a day to a child older than toddler ONCE in this challenge. You will know what commands those will be when it happens.

Here is the asylum I built for this. It’s got the requisite skilling equipment but since this is a BC too we went for the more fun creativity like kareoke and the dance sphere. We also have baby stuff ready to go.

Since there are 13 sims on the lot, I am allowing for 7 beds and 10 places to sit along with two tubs, two sinks, and two toilets. Trust me, it will not make any difference having more potties.

I set the hour to 7am and turned on free will after correcting personalities and posing the title picture as well as setting all of Joss’ relationships to 0.

Seren Doran was the first to interact with the bachelor, unfortunately it was an argue. That promptly put her into last place scorewise. Well done, Seren!

Meanwhile, Drea stocked the birdcage with 1. Unoriginal name, I know. But I’d rather keep track of how many birds we kill along the way.

Then she starts the monotonous task of teaching 1 to talk. While she’s doing that, let’s check on the action out at the mailbox.

And we have our first flirt fail. It’s generally not a good idea to go in for the caress when you have 0/0 relationship. Poor Rose. It’s clear she’s still smitten with our bachelor even from beyond the grave.

Third interaction of the challenge and it’s another argue, this time my Malcolm Landgraab V. If you haven’t guessed, we have a lot of mean sims in this challenge. It promises to be interesting. I wonder if I’m going to need a steel cage by the time this is all through?

Negative aspiration sign!

Molly Penguino must have been fearing being rejected for a flirt but still she went in for the Sweet Talk with 0/0 relationship. Molly here does earn one point however along with Seren Doran. They are the only two contestants that have three bolts with the bachelor. To be fair, Joss likes makeup (something all the contestants have) and high mechanical which none of them will get and he dislikes plantsims. All of the contestants like black hair and beards and dislike red hair. No Rhys Fitzhugh for you!

With four contestants in the negatives and the rest all tied for first with zero points, this Bachelor Asylum is off to a great start.

Joss: I think I like the fountain more than the girls.

Molly: Joss is hot.

Joss: Molly is hot.

Fountain: Bubbles!

Molly: How dare you make me lose aspiration. I needed those points.

Joss: Lady, I just met you and this is crazy. My here’s my finger. Call me never.

Bird trained partially, I directed Drea to have the household watch the Yummy channel with her. Not everyone listened and Rachel C. was our first dance sphere victim.

The stuff in the house is a little better quality than in your normal asylum. It doesn’t make a bit of difference.

Molly: You stink!

Joss: That’s a 3rd grader’s insult. Come find me when you can heckle someone properly.

Rest of the Inmates: Skill!

I got sick of argue/failed flirt/argue. That was going on. So Drea got everyone fishing. Fair warning, Drea is plat because she came off of a filming lot, not that I actually fulfilled one of her wants. It’s my goal to fulfill as few wants of hers as possible other than her LTW.

Speaking of, it’s time for project plantsim. I need bugs.

Monetarily they are doing fine. They moved in with 55,000 from out of CAS and the house cost less than 50,000. I figure if I can do it for under 50k then I can keep it.

Back to the bachelor and Joss is the first to catch a fish.

That set off a wave of people reeling in the fishes.

Including Joss again who synchronized his catch with Molly.

Awww aren’t they sweet? Too bad they’re still currently in the negatives.

So on and on they fished. And I would like to point out that by the time I had Drea go in and make dinner, Joss knew everyone EXCEPT Elizabeth. He still hadn’t met her despite standing next to her the whole time. It’s like living in a large city, you have no clue who your neighbors are.

Drea called people into eat and Eve and Mal promptly started discussing how they were going to cause trouble. They’re Vetinaris, it’s expected. The Fitzhughs want to take over your plot. The Vetinari, though, they want to watch the world burn and toast marshmallows to make s’mores. And that is why I love them and must have them in every hood.

Not everyone made it inside. They wanted extra bachelor time.

Joss: Seren is kind of hot.

Seren: *babbles*

Eve: *stalks*

Eve: *Poke*

Joss: Hey! Watch it!

Seren: *stalks*

Rachel A: Eve is mean!

Katmiester: I’m going inside before this degenerates into a school yard brawl.

Seren: Weather!

Joss: Sun!

Molly: Joss is hot!

Marina: *stalks*

Mal: They’ll all underestimate me because I’m the quiet one who cleans.

Sorry to break it to you, Mal. That spot was already taken by the crazy woman caretaking you all.

Mal: Oh well. I still get to clean all the things! Today’s a win for me!

Rachel A: I can’t pee because Genie’s in the tub.

It was at this point that I realized that I designed poorly. This bathroom while good to use and have good flow of traffic, sucked for picture taking angles. Oh well, you can see the stalking of the bachelor even when he is on the loo.

Joss: I hate you. If this were a real bachelor challenge I’d smite you first.

Joss: But it’s not . More’s the pity.

Then came what I affectionately call the night of orange portraits and pink thought bubbles. Rachel A kicked it off with bladder desperation.

Then Seren continued it with Hunger. You don’t see it but Marina’s hungry too.

Seren also needs to pee.

And look! Drea has her bronze badge. I almost never get those anymore.

Seren continues the pee-pee dance.

Then becomes the first to lose a point this challenge by projecting her pee through Rachel A and next to Joss’ bed.

See?

Then Marina clued me in that she and Seren were not alone in their shame. Those are three conjoined pee puddles. And note that none of the stalls are in use.

So who are our other members of the shame squad?

Rachel A is apparently one.

And a green fuming Elizabeth is the other.

Well done you four! You’ve successfully fallen behind almost everyone else.

Although no one is quite as far behind as Eve here. By the end of the first day she was below negative 50 on both LTR and STR. That takes some doing.

And what is that I spy behind Eve and Joss?

But Elizabeth taking a plate nap losing her another point. This on top of Joss not even knowing who she is means she’s in trouble.

Although Drea would like to point out she is miserable too. That is not a pretty plumbbob, Drea.

*cackles evilly*

And Joss and Eve are still going…

Meanwhile, Rachel C. hits up the bird for advice. It’s got to do better than what Eve is doing.

Joss: So, Jello?

Seren: Yep.

Joss: Reminds me of home when Mom leaves some out on the counter to take care of Dad and us kids.

Seren: I had a servo. We ate lots of cake.

Joss: I hate you.

Marina: You know you’re not supposed to do that?

Joss: I know! I just want a skill point.

Marina: You know a good way to get one? Cleaning. Specifically pee puddles.

Joss: Thanks for the tip.

Joss: You know, she’s actually right. *+1000 asp points*

Molly: *stalks*

Joss: Hey you know that weird mustached dude?

Molly: No?

Joss: Well he totally ditched…

Joss: …our caretaker that psycho bitch, Drea. Isn’t that awesome?

Molly: If you say so!

In the interest of fairness, that guy, Joe, was one of the extras in the Interlude and I needed Drea to have a wedding ring, and I didn’t feel like marrying her to Rhys here. So she got random dude. Then when I put her in the asylum I zeroed out all of her relationships in case she had a career LTW. The inmates all think it’s awesome that Joe totally broke up with her.

They aren’t wrong.

Joss: Flirt?

Molly: What kind of crack are you on?

Joss: Backrub?

Molly: Heck yeah!

Oh Joss… I love that you flamey thought nothing. I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be Eve but who knows you could be pissed off at nothing. You only have one nice point.

Molly: Flirt?

Joss: Was that the same flirt I tried 2 minutes ago and you rejected? I don’t think so.

Seriously these two make my head spin with their hot and cold actions to each other. If Molly can get her act together, she has a good chance. Plus I can totally see them being one of those Fight and Fuck couples.

See what I mean?

Mal: There are no desks. How am I supposed to clean under them if there are no desks!

Joss: Whoa, lady, you’re making no sense.

In an effort to wake up the food napping Elizabeth I had Drea order some pizza from interesting hair NPC.

Unfortunately, most of the sims in the house got a little distracted by the giant cloud in the bedroom.

Pizza Dude: Whoa, half naked chicks. You filming a porno in there?

Mal: Don’t make me use you for a toilet brush.

Pizza Dude: It’s on the house.

Mal: Sweet!

Back inside the dust settles enough for us to make out the combatants. And it’s Joss and Eve. Eve must really not want to win.

Because Joss totally kicked her ass.

Joss: I’m hungry! Fighting is hard work.

Seren: There’s pizza in the kitchen.

Joss: But Molly’s in here. Rawr!

Molly: Did you just Rawr me? Joss: And what if I did? Molly: I think that’s hot.

Seren: What just happened here?

That’s what’d I’d like to know!

Joss: Eve took the last piece of pizza. Ima gonna pummel her.

Eve: Ha ha!

Rather than having Joss get into another fight, I just had Drea make Joss a sammich. Joss was pleased by this.

Seren: *Babbles*

Joss: *Loves the Babble*

Joss: You know you were right. Cleaning was awesome.

Marina: I’m glad I could help.

Joss: Thanks.

Marina: You want to know what else is awesome?

Joss: Sure.

Marina: I am.

Joss: You sure are.

Rose: Joss is hot.

Joss: Then why don’t you talk to me?

Rose: Can’t. I must sing!

Rose: Every rose has it’s thorn!

Seren: You’re hot.

Joss: Thanks for telling me to my face.

Seren: You’re welcome. Now I need to pee.

Joss: Can I join you? Seren: Two stalls no waiting.

Seren: WTFBBQ!

That’s what I want to know!

Joss: You’re not wearing any clothes.

Rachel C: I’m wearing plenty of clothes. Want to join me in the photo booth and find out the difference?

He did.

Joss: I feel strangely alive and ready to kick ass. Where’s Eve?

We interrupt the bachelor stalking to report that Mal has found her nemesis. Marina apparently siccing Joss on the cleaning was an unforgivable sin. Mal must clean all the things!

Marina’s Mal!Fortune allowed Rachel A to swoop in for an admire.

Rachel A: I like your chest, it’s shiny.

Joss: Thanks, I oil it daily.

Kat: Mmmmm… shiny chest.

Kat: I like your chest too can I touch it?

Joss: Sure.

Kat: Mmmm.. Firm.

Rachel A: I can’t believe you let her feel your chest! I wanted to feel it!

Joss: She asked.

Rachel: Well, then can I feel it too? Joss: Sure. I’m just going to ask to return the favor.

Rachel A: Okay.

Rachel A: This is not what I was expecting.

Joss: I said I wanted to return the favor. What did you think would happen?

Rachel A: I don’t know. Maybe this.

Joss: Mmmmpf!

Drea: This sucks.

Mal: Zzzzzz…

Marina: I don’t know whether to be happy my sim is in the photobooth or sad that I’m not in there myself.

Seren: I think the latter.

Joss: Woohoo is awesome. I want to do more.

Rachel C was happy to oblige.

And she became the first to get a lullaby.

Marina, not wanting to be left out in a race for another hot Warner Spare stepped up her game. Getting her first kiss.

Then moving on immediately to her first woohoo.

Yes, Drea is still gardening. It’s all she ever does.

Rachel A: So I hear someone fertilized your eggs.

Rachel C: Yep. It was awesome.

Joss: Can you not talk about this in front of me.

Mal: Would you rather they do it behind your back?

Joss: Yes.

Mal: Then turn around.

Sigh… The Joss/Eve hate continues.

Molly: I’d really like to get in on this kissing action.

Joss: Then you have to kiss me.

Molly: Okay turn around!

Joss: Why do I have the feeling I’m going to regret this?

Hot and Cold. I swear.

Chat. Prank. Flirt.

Those two are a freaking tennis match. And Mal still hates Marina.

So this is where I am going to leave you with Seren and Joss talking about Eve’s hotness. Even though Joss hates her guts and Seren’s straight in this hood.

Point Totals as of the End of Part One:

1. Rachel C – +5 points (First Friend, Crush, Kiss, Woohoo, Pregnancy) = 5pts

2. Rachel A - +5 points (The ONE!) – 1 point (Potty Accident) = 4pts

3. Molly - +1 points (3 bolts) = 1pt

4. Genie – 0pts

5. Katmiester - 0pts

6. Seren - +1 points (3 bolts) – 1 point (Potty Accident) = 0pts

7. Rose – 0pts

8. Mal - -1points (Food Nap) = -1 pts

9. Marina - -1 points (Potty Accident) = -1pts

10. Elizabeth - -1 points (potty accident) – 1 points (Food Nap) = -2 points

11. Eve - -5 points (Fight) = -5 pts