the art of rapport v2.0 030810

The Art of Rapport

Steven Lipton M.Ed. LEHP, CP-FSPresident , Biotest Services Inc.

Vice President, Operations Quality, Scientific Device Laboratory Inc.

Pump handle

Western Greetings

• Shake hands• Look the person in the eye• Say “hello! I’m Steve”

Cognition & Framework

Cognition

Input

Processing

Output

Programming

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Cognition

Not The Same Response

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Sub modalities and communication

Three Primary Senses for input

Visual Auditory

Kinesthetic

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• Preference for the seen• Pictures

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• Preference for the Heard• Sounds

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• Preference for Feeling• Touch and motion

Question 1

• If only three tables are left at a beachside restaurant, I’ll choose the table that offers

– a. A view of the ocean, but I can't hear the waves

– b. Sounds of the ocean but no view

– c. A cushy booth

Question 2

• When I have a problem– a. I look for

alternatives– b. I talk about the

problem– c. I rearrange the

details

Question 3

• I want my work space for my job or hobby to– a. Look good– b. Have rhythmic

sounds or music.– c. Feel

comfortable

Question 4

• When I describe a seminar I’ve just attended, I first– a. Describe how it

looked– b. Tell people how

it sounded– c. Convey the

feeling

Question 5

• In my spare time, I most enjoy – a. Watching TV or

going to the movies– b. Reading or

listening to music– c. Doing something

physical (crafts/gardening) or playing a sport

Question 6

• When I trying to convey "I understand" I am most likely to say:– a. I see– b. I hear you– c. I can handle

that

Question 7

• Of the following activities, I spend more time indulging in– a. Daydreaming– b. Listening to my

thoughts– c. Picking up on

my feelings

Question 8

• When someone is trying to convince me of something – a. I want to see

evidence or proof– b. I talk myself

through it– c. I trust my

intuition

Question 9

• I usually speak and think – a. Quickly– b. Moderately– c. Slowly

Question 10

• I normally breathe from – a. High in the

chest– b. Low in the

chest– c. My belly

Question 11

• When finding my way around an unfamiliar city I...– a. Use a map– b. Ask for

directions– c. Trust my

intuition

Question 12

• When I choose clothes, it is most important to me that I... – a. Look good– b. Make a

statement– c. Feel

comfortable

Question 13

• When I choose a restaurant, my main concern is that– a. The restaurant

looks impressive– b. I can hear

myself talk– c. I will be

comfortable

Question 14

• If I try to remember something I tend to look – a. Up– b. Sideways– c. Down

Add up the totals for A,B, and C

• A- Visual• B- Auditory• C- Kinesthetic

Boothman VAK inventory

Visual55%

Kinesthetic30%

Auditory15%

A- Visual B – Auditory C – Kinesthetic

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• “I see what you are saying”• Speak Quickly• Dress To impress• Eye Contact

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• “Sounds good”• Speaks Moderately• Makes a Statement with

clothes• Keeps ear clear

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• “I can handle that”• Speaks Slowly• Dresses for comfort and feel• Fidgeting • Demonstrations

Determining preferences

Visual

Auditory

Kinesthetic

Trying to listen or be listened to is not easy.

Let’s transfer listening to the other modalities.

Cleaning the Mirror

• Take partners• One person moves

his or her hand like they are cleaning a mirror, while the other person acts as the mirror of their hand.

Cleaning the Mirror

• Switch roles• Second person

moves his or her hand like they are cleaning a mirror, while the other person acts as the mirror of their hand.

Cleaning the Mirror

• Alternate being cleaner and mirror.

Cleaning the Mirror

• Debrief

Listening

• Partner 1 makes a statement.

• Partner 2 repeats.• Partner 2 makes a

statement• Partner 1 repeats.

Listening

• Partner 1 makes a statement.

• Partner 2 summarizes.

• Partner 2 makes a statement about partner 1’s statement

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• Example key words:– Focus blind

bright– Dull glow hide– Clear show

peek– View colorful reflect– Perspective– “I see what you are saying”

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

• Example Key words:– Hear call

click– Discuss tone listen– in tune earshot note– Clash state

loud– “sounds good”

Visual- Auditory - Kinesthetic

Example Key words:– Grasp push

hunch– Hurt dig feel– Heated nail unravel– Squeeze touch

support– “I can handle that”

Listening

• Partner 1 makes a statement.

• Partner 2 summarized then makes a statement about partner 1’s statement, using VAK words.

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Body Language

Questions?

• Steven Lipton • Biotest Services• 411 East Jarvis Ave Des Plaines IL

60018

• steven.j.lipton@gmail.com• Steve@scientificdevice.com• Twitter: @Biotest• http://www.biotestservices.com/risk.php