vol. 3 no.3 · hello justice page rhinos. today i will be talking about fake people! you guys...

RHINO REPORT

November 20th, 2017 Justice Page Middle School Minneapolis, MN Volume 3 No. 3

JPMSVisitedByFormerNASAAstronaut BY:Mr.K.

OnNovember,JPMSwasvisitedbyformerastronautDanielBrandenstein.Mr.BrandensteinflewfourNASAshuttlemissionsbetween1983and1992,piloting4orNASA’s5spaceshuttles.Duringthosemissions,Mr.BrandensteinandhiscrewssetnumerousNASArecords(atthetime)includinglongestshuttlemission(12days)andmostspacewalksinasinglemission(4).Hegaveatwenty-minutepresentationintheAuditorium,thenledaquestionandanswersessioninMr.K.’ssecondhourclass.ItwasanhonorandApleasuretomeetsomeonethathasleftthisplaneton4separateoccasionsandhasaccomplishedsomuch.

SmartiesBY:BertHudson

MaybeI'mjustoutoftheloop,butwhydoesthisschoolseemtohaveanobsessionwithSmarties?Theytastelikechalkwithhighfructosecornsyrupdumpedonit.Andwhyarepeopleinhalingthem?Thatisanidioticwaytogetbreathingproblems!Whyarekidstryingtogethighonsugarbyvapingit?Thenameisironic.Itseemsasiftheyaremakingpeopledumber.Just,WHY?

REMEMBER:NOSCHOOLWEDNESDAY,THURSDAYOR

FRIDAYDUETOTHETHANKSGIVINGHOLIDAY!

Editorial:SchoolFoodBY:SumayoandOlive Youlikefoodbutyoumaynotlikeschoolfood.Weneedmoreoptions.Insteadoffoodthatislowerqualityandbroughttoschool,weshouldhaveoptionswhereeveryonecanhaveachoiceoffoodtheylike,thatismadeINschool.Atleasteverymonthweshouldhaveasurveyaskingkidswhattheywouldlikeforlunch.Thatway,wecanmakeamenuusingthetopchoices.

Peopledon’talwayseatschoolfood,sotheygohomehungryandgrumpy.WENEEDMOREENERGYandtheonlywaytodothatistohavehealthier,unprocessedfoodthatwewillactuallyenjoy.

Schoolfoodhasbeenatopicofdiscussionsincebeforeevenyourteacherswereinschool.Whatare

yourthoughts?Letusknowatrmsrhinoreport@gmail.com.–Ed.

SuperHeroStories

Editorial:ShortPeopleRightsBY:CarolineClaeson

Iamwritingthisarticletoinformyouaboutthelackofshortpeoplerightsinourcommunity.Iwalkdownthehall,beingjustoverfivefeettallandallthetitansstridingwiththeirboomingstepsrunrightintome.Iamapersontoo.Peoplecantakeourstuffandeasilyholditoverourheads.Justbecauseweareshortthinkthattheyhavetherighttopickusup.Alongwiththat,weareabletoreachthetalldrinkingfountainbutapparentlyifweareinlinepeopleexpectustomoveonovertotheshortdrinkingfountain.Thereisareasonnobodyusestheshortdrinkingfountains!Thewaterisalwayswarm,andbarelygoesaninchabovethespout.Itseemsthatthearchitectsoftodayareunfamiliarwiththeideaofashortperson.Manycabinetsareoutofreach,forcingustoclimbontothecountertogetaccess!Thishasbeenashortrantonthestrugglesofbeingshort.

SuperdogsBY:LuciaGomezInadifferentworldwheredog’stalkandhave….superpowers!Andtheygoonadventuresandeatbones,chickenbonesespecially.MynameisThornhead!Nicetomeatyou!Whatisyoursuperheroname?

Editorial:FakePeopleBY:IsraOmar

HelloJusticePageRhinos.TodayIwillbetalkingaboutFAKEPEOPLE!Youguysalreadyknowthere’sfakepeopleeverywhere.Someofyourfriendscanbefake.Youknowfriendscomeandgo,butfamilyalwaysstay.Fakepeoplecanbeatourschool.Wedon’twantfakepeople,wewantREALpeople.Soifyouknowanyfakepeople,ignorethem.BeREAL..Also,ifYou’refakeyourself,youneedtochilloryouwanthavefriends.Everyonelookaroundinyourclass.Wedon’twantfakepeople.Pleasechangepeoplegetbulliedforthis.THANKYOU.

IfIWasASuperhero

IwouldhavetelekinesisbecauseIwouldbefightingvillains,andifyouwerelosingthenyouwouldbeabletomovesomethingtohitthemorifyouwerelazyyoutopickstuffupwithyourmind.Mynamewouldbe...IronKiwi!

AnInspirationalQuoteBreakdownBY:ChloeBitney

Thisquoteissayingthatyouneedtostruggletosucceed.Thisisallwrong.Ifyouwerelookingforafactlikehowmanypeopleareonearthforanassignment,youcanjustusetheinternetwithoutstruggling.Imeanmistakesaren'tbadoranything,butwhywouldpeoplepressurestudentstostruggle?

Thisisjustmakingpeopleworkwaytoohard.Ifsomeonewashalfdead,workingonanELAessay,theirwritingisgonnareflectthat.Thatprettymuchmeansthattheirwritingisgoingtobecompletetrash.Butifthestudenttookabreakandwentbacktotheassignmentlater,theycouldwritelikeaproauthor.

CreativeWriting

Life BY:LuciaGomez

Lifeislikeananimal Trappedinacage

Butlifeisnotlikeananimaltrappedinacage It’sasoultrappedinabody

Andsoonthatsoulescapesthatbody Andfliesupwhereitmeetsothersouls.

TheFamilyVacation:Part1 BY:LuciaGomez

Ihavesevensisters,andIaminthemiddle.Letmetellyoutheirnames.MybigsisteriscalledJoanna,thenthealmostbigsisterEvelyn,thenitisJessica,andthenme.Thetwinsandmybabysister,thosearemylittlesisters.

Letmetellyouofastorythatmeandmyfamilywillneverforget.Iwascomingbackfromschoolwhenmymomsaidthatshewasgoingtotellussomething.Shesaidthatweweregoingcamping.Atfirstiwasexcited,butthenwhenwewerepackingIthoughtthatmeandmysistersfor10hourswasnotgoingtohappen.Alsointents.Maddie,oneofthetwins,can’tevensleeponthefloor.Atleastwearetakingairbedswiththetwins.Momsaidthatwewereleavingtomorrowbecausetodaywasthelastdayofschool.Sowewerepackinglikecrazy.Weweredoneat10:36PM.Soweneededtogotosleepbecausewewereleavingat7:00AM.Iputmyalarmandfellasleep.ZZZZZZ.

AFictionStory:Part1 BY:OliveStrike (Readaboutagirlwhoisunwanted,butfindsherselfinanotherworldonceshesaysthetruth.)

At22Idroppedoutofcollege.Couldn’tstandit.AllthepeoplewhisperingasIwalkedby.Iwasdefinitelynotliked.EverydayIcouldhearthemsaying,“LookatJamie,”whichwasthenicknametheygaveme.MyrealnameisJean,buttheydidn’tcare.Ithasbeenayearsincethen,butpeoplestilldon’tlikeme.IsitbecauseIamugly?IsitbecauseIdon’thavebotharms?Well,Idon’t.Atage3Ilostmyarminacarcrash.Myparentsweredevastated,becausethebabysitterwasdriving.Shewasmyonlyfriend,andshewasfired. Theywouldn’tletmeplaywithotherkids,myparentsImean.TheytoldmeIwastoospecial,butIknowtherealreasonnow.Kidswouldscreamatmynubofanarmandrunaway.Myparentswouldn’twantmetosufferlikethat. Myparentsweresomadatmefordroppingout.Theypayedforcollege,andIsaidtheschoolcouldkeepthemoney.Manyafightoverthis,overandoveragain,myparentsmadandmesad.ButIwaspersistent,andIwon. Ihadwantedtobecomeadoctor,buttheacademywouldn’thaveletmeinanyway,consideringIcouldn’tusebotharmstodowhatadoctordoes. IthoughtoverthisasIreadthejobsIcouldhaveinmycondition.Then,Iheardacrashandsuddenlyeverythingwentblack.

PranksBy:IngridBarahonaMaravilla,MaryJaneAcevedoSaldana

Pranksarethingsthatalotofpeopledotooneanother.Sometimesitcanbetogetrevengeorjustforfun.Sohereare3pranksthatareeasytomake/do.

WARNING:HAVEPERMISSION(fromaguardiantodoittosomeone)

1. Jello-MakeonecupofKool-AidandonecupofJello.PutastrawinandgiveJellocuptothemwhileyourdrinkingyourssotheywon'tsuspect.

2. Toothbrush-Findtheperson'stoothbrush.Lookatthecolorofthetoothpaste.Findafoodcoloringthatcancomeoffandleaveitwhereitwas.

3. Sodacan-Getatleasttwocansofsodaandgluethetopofonesowhentheytrytoopenittheywon’tbeabletoandyouwillbedrinkingyours.

GuineaPigsAreGreatPets BY:LuciaGomezTodayI’mgoingtoprovetoyouthatguineapigsaregreatpets.

1. Guineapigsalwaysstaycleanandrarelyneedbaths.

2. Ayoungguineapigcanrunwhentheironlythreehoursold.

3. Guineapigshideinobjects,butcomeoutwhensomeoneisneartheirhabitatwhichmakesiteasiertoplaywiththem

NEWSOFTHEREALM BY:ZacharyTaschler

Unbeknowntous,aseparaterealityrunsintandemwithours.Itisarealmbeforeguns,arealmofdragons,arealmofmagic,andbestofall,arealmof…nerds.OtherwiseknownasafterschoolD&DClub.Thispageexiststotellyouthelegendandloreofthismysticalrealm,andallwhoresideinit.

Today,our(notsomuch)heroes,slaughteredanorphanage,spontaneouslycombustedgotresurrected,bypassedanarmyofgiantspiders(notbeforelosingoneoftheirnumber),decapitatedademon,foughtweirdhellspidersofdoom,escapedonasharkwhale(nottobeconfusedwiththewhaleshark),setfiretoapirateship,andencounteredthedreadedsquirrelfish(Don’task.Youdon’twanttoknow).

TheDeweyDecimalSystemRESEARCHEDBY:KayanaSmith LookatwhattypesofbooksusetheseDeweyNumbers

000’sGeneralWorks 000ComputerScience 020Libraries 030EncyclopediasandBooksofFacts 050Magazines 070Newspapers

500Science&mathematics 510Mathematics 520Astronomy,StarsandPlanets 530-540PhysicsandChemistry 550Earth,Weather,Biomes 560Paleontology,Dinosaurs 570Lifesciences 580Plants 590Animals(notpetsorfarm)

100Philosophy&Psychology 120Humankind 130ParanormalandGhosts 150Psychology,OpticalIllusions 160Logic 170Ethics(moralphilosophy) 180-190Philosophy

600Technology(appliedsciences) 610Medicine 620Cars,Trucks,Ships,Engineering 630Agriculture,Gardens,Farms,Pets 640Homeeconomics&FamilyLiving 670Makingproductstosell 690HowBuildingsaremade

200Religion 220Bible 230-280Christianity 290Otherreligionsandmythology

700TheArts 710-730Artbycategory 740Drawingandhowtodrawbooks 750Painting&paintings(museums) 770Photography 780Music 790Sports,Dance,Theater

300SocialSciences 340Law,Constitution 350Government 360PoliceandFiremen 390Customs398.2Fairy&FolkTales

800Literature 808JokesandRiddles 810Americanliterature 811Poetry 822Shakespeare

400Language 410LinguisticsandSignLanguage 420GrammarandDictionaries 430German 440French 460Spanish

900GeographyandWorldHistory 910Geography,travel 920and921Biography 950HistoryofAsia 960HistoryofAfrica 970HistoryofNorthAmerica

Usingthebooktitlesbelow,inwhichnumbercategorynumberwouldyouplacethemin?(ANSWERSBELOW!)1.Frogs2.TheU.S.Constitution 3.GreatGhost4.ToRoot…WhatisaVerb?5.CheckitOut,theBookAboutLibraries6.MagicEye 7.BeautyandtheBeast 8.Earth 9.AfaithLikeMine10.BowHunting11.RosaParks12.TheTitanic13.HowtoWritePoetry14.ALightintheAttic15.EncyclopediaofPresidents16.LookWhatCamefromtheU.S.17.Snowboarding18.Horses

Answers:1.5902.3403.1304.4205.0206.1507.3988.5509.22010.79011.97012,91013.81014.81015.03016.03017.79018,590

MovieReviews

TheHeathers BY:KayChulaJacobs

Haveyoueverwonderedwhypeoplekillpeopleandhowthekillergotawaywithit?

Ifyouhave,orevenifyouhavenotandjustwantagoodmovietosee,tryTheHeathers.Nowifyoudon’twanttoseeanotherhighschoollovestory80’smovie,don’tworrybecausethisonehasmorethanthat.VeronicaSawyer(WinonaRyder)isanindependentgirlwhohasagreattalentofwritingwhochoosestobefriendswiththemostpopulargirlsinschoolTheHeathers(KimWalker,LisanneFalk,andShannenDoherty)andasthetypical80’spopulargirlsthey’rethe“pretty”girlsandcrueltothe“nerdykids”. LaterinthemovieVeronicafallsinlovewiththedarkandmysteriousJasonDean(ChristianSalter)theydecidethatthewaytorevengeonthepopularkidsisdeath!SoIhopeyouenjoythismovie,havefun!!!

Clueless BY:KayChulaJacobs

Haveyoueverdonesomethingthatyouthoughtwasrightbutintheenditturnedhorribleandthenyoufeltso….CLUELESS!!!Ifyouhavethenyoumightbeinterestedinthismovie! AsyouwatchthisfunandcrazymovieyouwillseethewonderfulCherHorowitz(AliciaSilverstone)ayounggirlwhohaseverythingandcanfindherwayoutofeverything.Sheisalsooneofthemostpopulargirlsinschool,butshemightbealittleselfish.Whenshetriestouseherpopularityforgood,CherandherbestfriendDionne(StaceyDash)decideto“help”theyounghelpless,cluelessTai(BrittanyMurphy)thenewgirlwhoseemstobewildandcrazyandjustneedsalittle“helpfittingin”. OnthisjourneyyouseeCherfindoutwhoshereallyiswiththehelpofherex-stepbrotherJosh(PaulRudd),friends,andlifeitself.SoIwishyouluckonthesewonderful“ASIF!!!!!”moments.Hopeyoulikeit!

HoroscopeBY:BertHudson

Everynewspaperneedsone.So,hereisahoroscopeorsomething.Aries:Youwillsucceedinaclassyouwerenotsoconfidentabout.Taurus:Youwillfindanewhobbyinlife.Gemini:Youwillfindsomethingyouhavelost.Cancer:Youwillfindadiscoverynotyetdiscovered.Leo:Youwillseethingsdifferentlythanyoudidbefore.Virgo:Youshallhaveastrangestreakofluck.Libra:Youwillbearolemodeltoanother.Scorpio:Youwillboredlywriteahoroscopeinaschoolnewspaper.Sagittarius:Youshallbecomealeaderamongfriends.Capricorn:Youshallbreakthemold.Pisces:Youshallknowsomethingyoudidnotseebefore.

ComicsBY:DevinWooldridge

MR JEFFhalpmeh

sound lik job4 superguy mor lik super-DI

amirite?

nu. oh

ContributorsMaryJaneAcevedoSaldanaMuhammedAl-Homoud

ChloeBitneyIngridBarahonaMaravilla

CarolineClaseonLuciaGomezBertHudsonAshaHussein

KayChulaJacobsIsraOmar

KayanaSmithOliveStrike

ZacharyTaschlerDevinWooldridge

Mr.K.

RequirementstoattendtheValleyfairfieldtrip:- No more than 20 tardies * - No more than 5 hall sweep catches* - No more than 10 days unexcused absent * - No more than 5 referrals * - No more than 5 days in or out of school suspension * - Cannot be suspended at the time of the event

* = from October 1st to June 1st

ForFunCOMPILEDBY:AshaHussein

HomegrownMemesBY:MuhammedAl-Homoud

What’sForLunch?

2017-2018MPSHighSchoolInformationNights

Meetteachers,tourbuildingsandpreviewcurriculum.Theseeventsareforstudentsin8thgradeaswellWashburn-201W.49thSt.S.,Minneapolis,MN55419Thursday,November30,from6-8pmSouthwest-3414W.47thSt.,Minneapolis,MN55410Thursday,December7,from6-8pmFair-10S.10thSt.,Minneapolis,MN55403Wednesday,January10,from6-8pmSouth-313119thAve.S.,Minneapolis,MN55407Thursday,January11,from6-8pm