week 11 – astoundingly yet another humber exclusive

Week 11 – Astoundingly yet Another Humber Exclusive In Association with Steven Bochenek

Today’s Lesson• Brain-stretcher• Review last week’s lesson• Go over some issues in the last assignment• Some grammar and style basics for long copy• In-class assignment 1 – review our DR samples• In-class assignment – adapting a campaign to create brand response DR

radio. (What, no mail?)

But first, a brain-stretcher

Need 2 vanity numbers for a contest:

Vanity numbers? Telephone numbers that have a mnemonic built-in (ie 1-800-Rogers1). It really caught on fire with Pizza Pizza in 1980. My daughter would respond to the 1-800-94 Jennie jingle when she was 4 months old.

Join this new job site for students and post your résumé by December 1 and be entered into a draw for a free Apple iPad.

You have 3 minutes from …now.

Last week’s lesson

• What does DM stand for?• What does DM?• What aids the “I” in AIDA? (Hint: I could stand

for involvement.)• Why spend more money on a DM effort?• Why are lists important?

Last assignment

• Deadline missing – DR 101. What was that formula again?

It has two As. What was the second one?

Time-limited offer incites Action. D & A are closely linked.

Last assignment

Why so few pictures of coffee? It can be so tempting!

See? You’re already thinking about your 15-minute break!

Last assignment

• Less is more (Ask about Sir Winston). Take the time to re-read over and over. Say what you need to get across in fewer words. (Next year, this lesson will be shorter.)

• ‘Style’ is an insult. You’re a commando. A chameleon.

• That said, don’t short-change your reader. Give her all she needs to know.

Last assignment

• Be thoughtful with visuals and language

Meaning? This is about something that’s going into your prospect’s mouth. Wrong time to be gross to “grab their attention”!

Last assignment• Altruism is NEVER a good creative strategy. Why? Because

there are very few altruists.

ie “Support your local coffee shop. It boosts the economy.” May as well add, “Don’t you love paying taxes? It means others can access government services.”

• Quality (why us) first – do-gooderism second. (Why do you think there are so many cause-related lotteries?)

Last assignment

• Speling! And in’apropriate use of apostrophe’s commas,,, and other punctuation crimes

• “This is stuff that gets us fired.” – Elizabeth, SB’s boss 1996

Quick assignment

What are the uses of the apostrophe?

Quick assignment

What are the uses of the apostrophe?

1) Possession

Quick assignment

What are the uses of the apostrophe?

1) Possession

2) contraction

Quick assignment

What are the uses of the apostrophe?

1) Possession

2) Contraction

3) Almost NEVER to indicate plural

Last assignment

• Its vs it’s • Your vs you’re • Theirs, hers and ours • Ask about ‘Eats shoots and leaves’ vs ‘Eats,

shoots and leaves’

Lesson: Some grammar and style basics for long copy

• Periods and carriage returns are your friends.

Even if you’re selling software to university professors, keep your sentences short.

Include plenty of paragraphs.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Don’t write adverbly. Less is more.

Make verbs do the work.

“The boy walked up the stairs very quietly.”

VS. The boy crept up the stairs.

Some grammar basics for long copy

Let’s try this out. Everybody write down one power verb and be prepared to share it in 10 minutes.

Think onomatopoeia – it helps for power verbs.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using commasWhen it doubt leave it out. Read the sentence

with emphases on different words. Not everyone will read it the way you do. Be sure there’s no other way to interpret your meaning.

“I see too many new buildings gracing your city.”Vs. “I see, too, many new buildings gracing your city.”HRH Elizabeth, R on re-visiting the ‘peg

Grammar basics for long copy - Commas

1) Parentheses-lite: bracket ideas that modify your subject or object when they’re not overtly understood.

The boy, having satisfied his blood lust in battle earlier that morning, decided not to bite the dog back.

Grammar basics for long copy - Commas

2) Specificity:The commas are not necessary in the following sentence (unless the man has

more than one wife and the others are not named Debra).“My wife, Debra, bit the dog.”

Only use them when there’s more than one of the item you’re describing.

“My son, Terry, bit the dog.”They’re only necessary here if there is more than one son.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Time to share your power verb!

5 people at random!

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using colonsTo indicate a list. (Even then, it may not be necessary.) Typically, they’re much loved by

DM writers.

“Dear John Sample, There’s never been a better time to have a terrible accident!

That’s because Canadian Tire Card Accidental Death Insurance will leave your loved ones with the following benefits after your demise:

• $10,000 cash – tax-free – to spend as you please• counselling for your spouse’s grief and the grief of up two children aged 18 or less by

December 31• a monthly cash income of up to $400 for 5 years And so on.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using colonsIn headlines, sometimes.If you want to sound formal and possibly ironic. Colons in a

headline will appear fussy, thereby announcing your intention of wit.

“More saturated fat per square inch: the new KFC Double Down.”

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using colonsIn headlines, sometimes.If you want to sound formal and possibly ironic. Colons in a

headline will appear fussy, thereby announcing your intention of wit.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using colons

Now that you’ve indicated the faux-academic witty intentions, let’s read it a bit. And you can see what fun it is, sometimes, to be a copywriter.

Note parenthetical use of commas above.

Some grammar basics for long copy

• Using semicolons

Don’t. They seem academic and legal; most people use them improperly.

In-Class Assignment #1

Take your piece of DR communications and share it with your group. Identify the 4 biggies:

AttentionArgument (keeping their Interest)Offer (incites immediate Desire)Action

You have 20 minutes.Then we’ll do another exercise.

In-Class Assignment #2

• RadioUsually, it’s the duty of DR to adapt the general advertising

campaign; incorporating the sales formula of AIDA into someone else’s concept.

In-Class Assignment # 2:

Take old faithful here and adapt it to 60-second radio. How clever can you be, respecting the rules?

Message: • You’re being squeezed by your bank. • PC Financial has a solution: the no-fee bank account

Offer: Sign up now and get a complimentary 1.7 litre jug of PC Lemonade

Call to action: Call 1-800-2PC-BANK.

Summary

Make your verbs work! Eschew adverbs and adjectives.

When in doubt leave commas out.

Write short, succinct sentences.

Use lots of paragraphs.

Careful with colons (insert tasteless joke here) and don’t use semi-colons.

Despite all this advice, never treat your reader like an idiot. Keep it simple so that she understands you but don’t talk down.

Summary“The consumer is not a moron. She is your wife.” – Who Else?