what they should really teach us in sex education

WHAT THEY SHOULD REALLY TEACH US IN SEX ED CLASS.

BASED ON CHAPTER ONE OF

THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE MAN

READ THE ENTIRE FIRST CHAPTER OF BOTH BOOKS ATBIT.LY/THEGUIDESOR VISIT FGPRESS.COM/GUIDES TO ORDER.

SEX ED DOES A TERRIBLE JOB OF EDUCATING CHILDREN ABOUT SEX.

IN FACT, THE WHOLE POINT OF SEX ED HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN TO TEACH CHILDREN ANYTHING USEFUL ABOUT SEX.

SO...WHAT HAS LONG BEEN THE POINT OF THE DREADED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SEX ED ASSEMBLY?

TO SCARE CHILDREN AWAY FROM EVER

F*CKING!

AND HOW DO THEY DO THAT?

1. BY EVOKING RELIGION

1. BY EVOKING RELIGION 2. WITH DOOMSDAY THOUGHTS OF PREGNANCY

3. AND DON’T FORGET, FREQUENTLY MENTIONING DISGUSTING DICK DISEASES.

BUT NONE OF THESE THINGS WORKED, OF COURSE. BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING WE ALL CRAVE MORE THAN SEX.

NO, WHAT THEY REALLY SHOULD TELL KIDS IN THOSE SEX ED ASSEMBLIES IS...

“DON’T HAVE SEX, KIDDOS, BECAUSE: YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH OF IT!”

“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE, EVEN THOUGH IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, YOU’LL RARELY GET TO PARTICIPATE IN IT!”

“I’VE BEEN ALIVE FOR 20,436 DAYS AND ONLY HAD SEX 198 TIMES. THAT’S LESS THAN 1% OF MY LIFE!”

“DON’T HAVE SEX, BOYS, BECAUSE IT’LL MAKE YOU TOO SELF-CONSCIOUS! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE NOT HAVING ANY.”

“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE IT’LL MAKE YOU SCREW OVER YOUR FRIENDS JUST TO SCREW ALL OVER SOME QUESTIONABLE CHICK YOU JUST MET AT THE BAR.”

“DON’T HAVE SEX, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, BECAUSE: IT’LL MAKE YOU PHYSICALLY ILL.”

“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE YOU’LL SOON NEED IT JUST TO VALIDATE YOUR PATHETIC

EXISTENCE.”

“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE IT WILL... EVENTUALLY…”

RUIN YOUR LIFE.

UNLESS YOU’VE READ

THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE MAN & THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE WOMAN

BY AARON GOLDFARB

available now atFGPRESS.COM/GUIDES