why love is a neurochemical roller coaster

Why Love isa Neurochemical Roller Coaster

Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhDInner Mammal Institute

Love is a cocktail of brain chemicals

dopamineserotoninoxytocinendorphin

They release in short spurts Then they droop

That’s whylove is a roller coaster

You can manage the ups and downs, but you can’t

have constant ups because…

these chemicals evolved to motivate

reproductive success

not tocreateconstanthappiness

We’ve inherited our brain chemicals from earlier animals

Your brain is designed to promote your genes, not to make youfeel goodall the time

Love is a huge motivator ofreproductive behavior,so it triggers huge spurts of happy brainchemicals

Disappointment in love feels like a survival threatto your mammal brainso you surge with cortisol, the threat chemical

Your ups and downs make sense when you know what

turns them on in nature

Dopamineis the great feeling

that a reward is at hand

Dopaminereleases energy for the chase

New love stimulates lots of Dopamine

Dopaminedroops once you get the reward

untilyou set your sights on another reward

Oxytocinis often called

the “love chemical”

Oxytocin is stimulated by

touch,trust,birth,and sex

Oxytocin droops when you’reseparated from the herd

This causes the feeling that your survival is threatened

Serotoninis the pleasure of social dominance

Serotoninis not

aggression but a calm sense that

“ I will get the

banana ”

Serotonin is soon reabsorbed,so we are always looking for ways to stimulate more

When you enjoy the attentions of someone important,it boosts your Serotonin

Endorphin masks pain so you can do whatit takes to survive

Endorphin is “endogenous morphine”

it’s meant for emergencies,not partying

Endorphin is stimulated by pain, including exercise,

laughing and crying

When lovers make each other laugh

it’s a valuable chance to enjoy Endorphin

Natural selection built a brain that makes you feel good when you do

things that promote your genes

dopamine endorphin oxytocin serotonin

No conscious interest in your

genes is necessary

It’s not easybeing a mammal

But you canmake peace with your

inner mammalif you…

1. Accept2. Adapt3. Arrange

1. Accept• Nothing is wrong with me• My happy chemicals will

droop sometimes• It doesn’t necessarily

mean something is wrong• It means I’m a mammal

among mammals

2. Adapt

I can build new circuits

My happy chemicals are controlled by circuits I built long ago

But they don’t build easily after puberty

3. ArrangeA new circuit will buildif I repeat a new thoughtor behavior daily for 6 weeks

I can arrange my life to feednew experiences to my brain until my happy chemicals flow in new ways

for example

Don’t compare myself to others

Don’t compare myself to others

Don’t compare myself to others

Love will always be a roller coaster

But you can have a smoother ride

you can make peace with your inner mammal

Is this information helpful? share it with your favorite groups and professionals; get the free 5-day Happy Chemical Jumpstart;

watch the free video: Your Ups and Downs Are Natural …and also learned

buy a book...and another book;

comment on Youtube, Amazon, Goodreads to help others;

participate in the Inner Mammal Institute’sFacebook discussion group and Twitter;

read my blogs, Your Neurochemical Self and thePositivePsychologyPeople;

read book excerpts at InnerMammalInstitute.org

my books

Habits of a Happy Brainforthcoming November 2015

Meet Your Happy ChemicalsDopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Endorphin

I, MammalWhy Your Brain Links Status and Happiness

Beyond CynicalTranscend Your Mammalian Negativity

contact meLoretta@InnerMammalInstitute.org

learn moreInnerMammalInstitute.org

my blogYour Neurochemical Selfon PsychologyToday.com

and one more thing

Don’t compare myself to others

Don’t compare myself to others

Don’t compare myself to others

Dopamine

Dopamine makes you jump for joy when you reach a goal or get a toy. In nature, it helps find food when you need it. “Eureka, I got it!” A memory gets created. Dopamine causes expectations. Correct predictions bring good sensations. Dopamine feels great so you try to get more. It rewarded our ancestors trudging through gore. Cocaine triggers dopamine. Caution to all: Joy without goal-seeking leads to a fall. Dopamine flows when you feel like “I’ve done it.” When others do it for you, your dopamine will shun it.

Endorphin

Endorphin helps you mask the pain Of injuries that you sustain. Your ancestors escaped from predator attack ‘Cause endorphin felt good while they ran back. Endorphin feels great when it eases your pains. But only real pain makes it flow in your veins. Exercise triggers it, experts alert you. But first you must do it ‘til body parts hurt you. Endorphin receptors let opium in. So you feel like you’re safe without lifting a shin. Laughing and crying can trigger it too. But just for a moment– then the job’s through.

Oxytocin

Oxytocin makes you trust your mates. We love the bonds that it creates. Oxytocin flows when you stick with the herd. “Not me!” you may say, “I’m no bovine or bird.” But without social bonds, your brain feels alarm. This protected our ancestors from all kinds of harm. Though the herd will annoy you, the pack hurt you so. When you run with a pack, oxytocin will flow. “My pack is great and the other is nuts.” This thinking prevailed since the first mammal struts. You’re above all this foolishness, obviously. But it feels good when I trust you and you trust me.

Serotonin swells your chest with pride When you get respect and needn’t hide. Your brain feels good when you boost yourself higher. But when others do this, it provokes your ire. “I don’t care about status. It’s other who do.” But you spurt serotonin when the limelight’s on you. You are quite modest and don’t like to boast. But no serotonin flows when you coast. Status doesn’t depend on money. You can be clever or helpful or funny. But when others one-up you, your mind agitates. ‘Cause serotonin droops ‘til you lift your own weights.

Serotonin