writing clearly and concisely
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Writing Clearly and Concisely
ASK WEEK Pathways to Success
18-22 November 2013
Monica Fernandes, Academic Skills
Adviser
+ Objectives
Consider 4 key writing lessons to ensure our work is clear and concise
Review 5 key steps to make your writing more concise
Review a piece of writing that has been made more concise
+ How is this different from your writing process?
E.B. White writing in his boathouse http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll98eoGxlw1qhn55co1_500.jpg
+ Writing takes time and effort
Writing is developmental but if you work at it you will see results
Good writer’s READ
There is no such thing as one draft! Good writers will go through 3, 4, 5 even 10 drafts before they are happy
This is a skill that is constantly developing from strength to strength
+ What makes writing confusing?
A sentence, overly and perhaps overtly complexified, turgid with rarified language, gains the semblance of scholarship though it may indeed lack the capacity to communicate its import to any but a reader utterly dedicated in his attentions.
Which means:
A complex sentence may seem scholarly but will confuse casual readers.
+ How? The Five Steps.
1. Circle the prepositions
2. Bracket adverbs and adjectives
3. Replace the passive with strong active verbs
4. Eliminate redundancies
5. Say what you mean (and say it once)
+ 1. Prepositions
Too many prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) can drain all the action out of a sentence. Instead, use a strong active verb to make the sentence direct
In this passage is an example of the use of the rule of justice in argumentation.
This passage exemplifies argumentation using the rule of justice.
+ 2. Bracket Adverbs and Adjectives
Adverbs (often ending in ‘-ly’) can almost always be removed from academic writing because they do not add real information
Sometimes, instead of removing adverbs, it is better to replace them with actual data
a) Keynes’ theories are (really) significant.
b) Keynes’ theories are significant.
c) Keynes’ theories continue to influence UK economic policy.
+ Adjectives
Adjectives are harder to ‘find’ than adverbs because they don’t have a common ending
They can be useful in clarifying or highlighting a point but use with care
innovative strategy
declining interest
end result
new innovations
particular interest
+ 3. Replace passive with active verbs.
Who is doing what to whom?
In a sentence written in the active voice, the subject of sentence performs the action.
In a sentence written in the passive voice the subject receives the action.
Active: The dog bit the man.
Passive: The man was bitten by the dog.
+ Passive vs. Active
The passive voice can make a sentence seem vague, wordy, or awkward. It is often stronger to write in the active voice.
Active: Symptoms of Anemia include fatigue, shortness of breath, and heart palpitations.
Passive: Fatigue, shortness of breath, and heart palpitations are all symptoms of Anemia.
Active: I now understand the active voice!
Passive: The active voice is understood by me now!
+ Use active sentences with strong verbs
The situation would not have got better if it wasn’t for the intervention.
The situation would not have improved if we had not intervened.
The two studies allow us to make a comparison between results.
The two studies allow us to compare results.
+ 4. Eliminate wordiness and redundancies
‘at this moment in time’
‘take into consideration’
‘until such time as’
‘last but not least’
‘in the event that’
‘due to the fact that’
‘the way in which’
‘in order to’
now
consider
until
lastly
if
because
how
so
+ 5. Say what you mean and say it once
My opinion is that....
The point I wish to make is that ...
The fact of the matter is that...
A number of cases point towards…
There has been a marked and drastic increase in…
+ Repetition
Every time you make a point, ask the reader: have I already made this clear?
Compare each sentence to the one preceding and following – can they be combined?
Often you need to combine short sentences under the same subject and verb.
+ For Example
The interactions between the children were observed. The children seemed to get along. The children were told to choose a toy from the box and did not fight for certain toys. The toys were somewhat similar, so this may have been a factor. The children also willingly shared toys when prompted.
+ Practice
1. The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money. (26)
2. Employees at this company need a better money manager. (10).
3. It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years. (24)
4. In recent years, engineers at Sandia Labs have participated in the Search and Rescue operations. (16).
Taken from: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/635/01/
+ Planning Strategies
Free-writing
Mind-maps
Linear plans
+ SEE Paragraph
What are the three main elements of a paragraph?
S E E
Statement
Evidence
Explanation
= TOPIC SENTENCE
= References or experiences
= Significance
Think of paragraphs as containers for separate points of your argument
+
Editing Proofreading
…is about actively improving your writing in terms of both form and content.
Ideas Arguments Logic Style Clarity ‘Flow’
…is mostly about catching the small errors and inconsistencies.
Spelling Grammar Repetition Typos Consistency
(reference style, abbreviations, etc)
+ Editing and Proofing Tips
Read your work aloud
Print off your work
Read from the last sentence back
Use the ‘find’ tool to check for common mistakes
Learn which mistakes you tend to make and prioritise from the feedback you receive
Repetition?
Unstructured?
+ Summary
1. Writing is hard
2. Confident writers say less
3. Clear thinking is clear writing
4. Be ruthless
Resources
Strunk, W & White, EB (2000) Elements of Style. Boston ; London : Allyn and Bacon.
+
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Or email us at: ask@brunel.ac.uk
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