“...you need a licence to drive, heck, you need a licence to fish...but they’ll let any @#*! be...

“...you need a licence to drive, heck, you need a licence to fish...but they’ll let any @#*! be a parent”.

Ready for Parenthood?

How do you know when you’re ready?Prospective parents should really ask themselves these

questions:

EMOTIONAL MATURITYAre we willing and able to take responsibility for a

child?

How realistic are our expectations of parenthood?

Do we have a support system in place to help out?

What is our parenting partnership going to look like?

Can we handle the pressures involved?

How stable is our relationship?

DESIRE...

Do we really want to have a child?

Are our reasons for wanting a child based on reality or fantasy? On-giving or selfishness?

Health Considerations...

Are we both healthy enough to meet the demands of caring for a child?

Is the prospective mother older than sixteen? Younger than thirty-five? If not, what are the risks?

Is there a possibility of an inherited disorder? What are the risks? How can we find out more information?

Financial Considerations...

How much will prenatal care and the birth cost? Supplies for the baby?

What other expenses can we expect in the short & long term?

Do we have a spending plan? (5yr, 10yr, 20yr plan) How does raising a child fit into it?

Are we willing to do without some things if necessary, in order to provide for our child’s needs.

What other questions would you add to this list?

3 Tasks of ParentingNURTURING:

Love

Support

Attention

Encouragement

GUIDANCE:

Appropriate limits

Self-control

Positive values

Moral standards

PHYSICAL CARE:Food & ClothingExercise & RestA Safe HomeHealth Care

How Parenthood Affects LifestyleAdditional household chores

Limits on personal freedom

Career decisions – limitations

Emotional conflicts

Money problems

Additional space requirements

Difficulty planning ahead/ spontaneity

Drain on time & energy

Preparation for these changes helps...

Discussing the changes together IN ADVANCE

Reading books, articles, websites on parenting skills, child development and responsibilities

Talking with experienced family members and friends

Taking parenting or child care class at your community recreational center

Babysit for a weekend to get a real understanding of the demands involved

Have a clear understanding of what your partner “brings from his/her past”....

What parents bring from their past...Religious beliefs (Christenings, Baptisms, Bah Mitzvahs, etc)

Traditions (Who will you spend Xmas with? Etc)

Family backgrounds

Parenting styles (authoritative, democratic, permissive)

Gender Roles

Household expectations (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc) and the division of duties

Experience: babysitting, coaching, lack of hands-on experience

Financial expectations :what’s important to you, your partner