zzeffective listening

EFFECTIVE LISTENINGLEARN HOW TO AVOID BEING TAKEN FOR AN INSENSITIVE JERK IN FIVE EASY STEPS! “BE LEGENDARY!”

FACING THE SPEAKER & EYE CONTACT

Baseline in the western hemisphere for communicating respect

If you don’t maintain eye contact you can appear distracted

Look at the speaker, even if they don’t look at you

Not looking at someone can be seen as a sign of negativity. (IE. Shy, uncertain, shamed, guilty, and the like.

PAY ATTENTION, BUT STAY RELAXED

Give attention, not just pay attention!

Be present. Apply and direct yourself.

Communicate the willingness to help.

STAY OPEN MINDED!

“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” –Gerry Spence

Listen without passing undue judgment.

Do not label or criticize the individual.

The second you entertain judging, you aren’t going to be listening.

You don’t know what someone else is thinking or feeling. The only way to find out is to listen!

Don’t be a sentence finisher!

ASK QUESTIONS ONLY TO UNDERSTAND

Wait for a pause in their speech before asking questions.

Just like in kindergarten, “DON’T INTERRUPT!”

“I don’t understand what you meant by that,” “Whoa, slow down there” “So you’re telling me” are good examples of initiating pause questions.

If you interrupt, you can cause the conversation to shift

If it does shift, accept responsibility for causing it and get the conversation back on track. “That’s awesome, so tell me about…”

EMPATHY

Try to feel what the speaker is feeling

Give appropriate feedback (Don’t say something like, “Yeah, good job. Moving on.”)

Listen also to what is NOT being said. The above is a perfect example of screwing this up.

QUESTIONS…???

Now I can see if you’ve been exercising good listening!

Or perhaps you can try my listening skills?