An exploration of personal experiences of taking

part in a digital storytelling project

Mark Shea (19033552)

Psychology MSc

Sheffield Hallam University

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my supervisor, Rachel Abbott, and Pip Hardy, from Pilgrim Projects

for their support and encouragement throughout the project; and all the participants, whose

generosity made the study possible.

Table of Contents

Introduction............................................................................................................................1

Narrative psychology and narrative approaches ............................................................1

Pennebaker’s theories on emotional writing..................................................................2

McAdam’s life story model of identity..........................................................................3

Group context ................................................................................................................5

Theories, models and perspectives on grief and coping with loss.................................5

Aim and objectives ............................................................................................................9

Methodological rationale .................................................................................................10

Method .................................................................................................................................11

Mixed method analysis ....................................................................................................12

The participants and their stories .................................................................................13

Analysis and Discussion ......................................................................................................14

Theme 1 – Wanting their stories to help other people .....................................................15

Theme 2 – Very difficult emotional experience ..............................................................16

Theme 3 – Supportive context .........................................................................................18

Theme 4 – Positive reframing..........................................................................................20

Example 1 – Applying the Dual Process Model of Grieving ......................................20

Example 2 – A narrative approach...............................................................................21

Example 3 – Narrative identity....................................................................................22

Example 4 – Making sense of loss...............................................................................23

Theme 5 – Positive impact on life in general ..................................................................24

A narrative perspective across the whole dataset ............................................................28

Reflexive analysis ............................................................................................................29

Concluding Remarks............................................................................................................30

References............................................................................................................................33

Appendices

Appendix 1 DVD of Sheffield Carers Voices Digital Stories

Appendix 2 Participant information sheet

Appendix 3 Consent form

Appendix 4 Interview schedule

Appendix 5 Participant debriefing sheet

Appendix 6 Summary of study finding for participants

Appendix 7 Interview transcripts with coding and themes

Appendix 8 Interview summaries

Appendix 9 Initial seven themes mapped against interview summaries

Appendix 10 Final dataset themes mapped against interview summaries

Appendix 11 Final dataset themes with all second order codes

Appendix 12 Final dataset themes with the main second order codes

This study explores the experiences of seven people who took part in a Patient Voices

digital storytelling workshop. Digital storytelling involves writing and narrating a personal

story, then illustrating it with photos, images and setting it to music. It is not explicitly

covered within the psychological literature and as a result this study is exploratory and

somewhat original. Using semi-structure interviews and a mixed method approach, five

themes were identified, which form a narrative as follows: the participants wanted to a

produce digital story about their difficult experiences so that others could learn from these

experiences; the process was emotionally difficult; and was possible because the

supportive context; the storytelling process enabled them to positively reframe these

difficult experiences; which has subsequently had a positive impact on their lives in

general. Due to the complexity of the digital storytelling process, it has not been possible

to use a single psychological perspective. Consequently, the data were interpreted using a

range of disparate but complementary perspectives: in particular, the life story model of

identity (McAdams, 2008), the Dual Process Model of grieving (M. Stroebe & Stroebe,

1991), and constructivist conceptualisations of grieving (Neimeyer, Burke, Mackay, & van

Dyke Stringer, 2010). Synthesising these perspectives suggests that during the workshop

the participants were able to reflect on their past, present and future, then form a coherent

story, experience changes to their narrative identity and make meaning out of their

traumatic experiences. The current study is supportive of narrative psychology’s claim that

people’s stories form an important part of their identity (McAdams, 2008); and the

constructivist view that storytelling helps people make sense of their world (Neimeyer et

al., 2010). The data clearly demonstrate that the participants found the workshop beneficial

which, together with the increasing accessibility of digital media, suggest that the topic

warrants further investigation.

1

Introduction The digital storytelling process involves writing and narrating a personal story which is

subsequently illustrated with photos, images and set to music (Hardy & Sumner, 2008). The

process combines aspects of personal reflection, multimedia production, creative writing and

narrative therapy. Digital storytelling has been developed by the Center for Digital

Storytelling based in California, over the last 20 years. It is used in the UK by Pilgrim

Projects, who have developed the Patient Voices Programme to produce stories for use in

developing health and social care services. People making and using digital stories consider

them to be a powerful way of giving staff and managers insight into the experiences of people

using their services. Storytelling features heavily in narrative psychology and so this

literature is considered next.

Narrative psychology and narrative approaches

Murray (1997) asserts that the task of narrative psychology is to explore stories for the insight

they provide into the storyteller’s experiences, their identity and their culture. Furthermore,

according to narrative psychology, storytelling is an essential aspect of being human (Carr,

1986 as cited in Crossley, 2000). Narrative psychology developed in response to humanistic

criticisms of positivist approaches which were seen as dehumanising and objectifying people

(Parker, 2005). It consequently aims to capture the subjective nature of human experience

and is concerned with identity construction and self exploration (Crossley, 2007). Thus

narrative psychology highlights the relationship between storytelling and identity, which

suggests that narrative methodologies can provide insight into the storyteller’s experience.

Carr (1986) argues that human experience can be characterised by narrative because present

moment events are experienced in reference to past experiences and anticipated future events

(as cited in Crossley, 2000). In this context, narrative is ‘an organised interpretation of a

sequence of events in which agency is attributed and causes inferred’ (Murray, 2003, p113).

This definition implies that producing narratives requires people to develop coherent

accounts of their experiences, and suggests that its study provides a way of investigating how

people understand their worlds. By contrast, people can also be conceptualised as actively

constructing their world through narratives (Sarbin, 1990). Thus ontologically, narratives can

be seen as realist, ie. describing an objective world, and as relativist ie. constructing reality

(Hansen, 2004). This apparent contradiction is resolved by conceptualising narratives as

2

multifaceted entities which can be perceived from both realist and relativist perspectives.

Methodologically, they can be investigated using different methods dependent on the aspect

of interest.

A relativist use of narrative is illustrated by Murray’s (1997) study which shows women

using narrative to construct their reality of living with breast cancer. He identified three

storytelling stages which helped the women to make sense of and positively reframe their

experience. Firstly, expressing the experience in words helped them to reduce its negative

impact. Secondly, ordering historical events into a story with a plot, or ‘emplotment’, allowed

the women to make sense of this crisis by relating it to other events, and adopt a more

objective and healthier perspective (Ricoeur, 1998). Thirdly, using a progressive structure to

organise their narratives helped them redefine the crisis as an opportunity for growth (Gergen

& Gergen, 1986 as cited in Murray, 1997).

Although, narrative research can be criticised as lacking objectivity through privileging

subjective accounts, this is only problematic if generalisations are made. If generalisability is

required, a more objective approach should be used. By contrast, narrative research is well

suited to providing insight into the participant’s subjective experience, their identity and their

specific cultural context. Consequently it provides a useful paradigm within which to analyse

storytelling.

Pennebaker’s theories on emotional writing

The digital storytelling process starts with writing about emotional experiences, and there is

some evidence that this activity is psychologically and physically beneficial (Pennebaker &

Seagal, 1999). Pennebaker’s initial studies involved students writing emotionally about their

most traumatic experiences for a trial period, eg. 15 minutes a day for 4 days (Pennebaker &

Beall, 1986). The findings show that the benefits are contingent upon participants using

emotional words, positive words and producing a coherent story (Pennebaker & Seagal,

1999). Pennebaker & Chung (2007) suggest the benefits cannot be explained by a single

cause, but that three main processes are involved: positive reframing of past events; release

from emotional inhibition; and increased social support.

Pennebaker’s approach helps focus the current study on how people make sense of their past

and form coherent stories which can be shared with others. However, there are several

3

important limitations. Firstly, despite the large number of studies, and replication across

different groups, the evidence base is relatively poor: for example, recent meta-analyses show

relatively small effects (Pennebaker & Chung, 2007); there is little support for the

effectiveness of the Pennebaker writing paradigm in ameliorating the effects of grief

(Baddeley & Singer, 2009; Stroebe, Schut, & Stroebe, 2005); and there is only evidence for a

few outcome measures such as reduced visits to the doctors and better exam grades, but not

for other physical and psychological health outcomes (Baikie, 2008). Secondly, there are

significant differences between the Pennebaker writing paradigm and the current study such

as group work, multi-media production and the existence of an audience. Thirdly,

Pennebaker’s approach neglects how storytelling fits into the person’s overall life story. This

is considered next.

McAdam’s life story model of identity

McAdams’ (1985/2008) life story model of identity suggests that narrative is a means of

identity development. A key concept within the model is ‘narrative identity’ which refers to

the ‘internal, evolving story which helps integrate different aspects of the self’ (McAdams,

2008, p242). The model conceptualises people as construing their lives as “evolving stories

that integrate the reconstructed past and the anticipated future ... to provide life with some

semblance of unity and purpose” (McAdams, 2008, p243). Thus the model emphasises the

link between the stories people tell and their sense of identity. It suggests that the formation

of integrative narrative identities helps people maintain a coherent sense of themselves and

affirm life’s meaning and purpose. For example, stories help people integrate different

aspects of themselves and changes over time such as changing from being a wife to a widow.

Although, McAdams (2008) implies that people can have many narrative identities, he does

not discuss how these coexist, but simply suggests that storytelling helps people to integrate

conflicting narrative identities into a single coherent narrative identity.

Of particular relevance to the current study are ‘self defining memories’ which are

representations of vivid and emotionally intense experiences (Singer & Salovey, 1993 as

cited in McAdams, 2008). McAdams (2008) asserts that ‘self defining memories’, such as

traumatic events, are key components of narrative identity. According to the life story model,

if a person changes their view of such events, their sense of identity will also change but

through the use of narrative, they can maintain a coherent sense of themselves over time

(Crossley, 2000; McAdams, 2008).

4

The life story model is also reflected in Parkes' (1998) concept of psycho-social transitions.

According to Parkes, on the basis of assumptions, people build an internal model of the world

which gives them a coherent sense of themselves and their place in the world. This model

may be challenged by loss and to retain psychological sense of well-being, people must also

change their model (Parkes, 2002). In narrative terms, they re-write their stories about the

world. Parkes’ approach suggests that well-being is contingent on understanding one’s

experience, and that changing one’s view of the world is an important adaptive mechanism.

Importantly, the life story model captures the social nature of storytelling neglected by

Pennebaker & Chung (2007). It recognises that when people tell a story, they tailor it to their

audience. Pasupathi & Rich (2005) suggest that dialogue with the audience helps clarify the

story’s meaning. They showed that attentive listening helps to confirm the storyteller’s

interpretation of events and their self perception. Building on this research, this study

considers the group context and the affect of the prospective audiences.

The life story model also reflects constructivist perspectives that people actively maintain

psychological well-being by constructing coherent stories which help them to make sense of

negative experiences (Bauer, McAdams, & Pals, 2008; Neimeyer et al., 2010; Skaggs &

Barron, 2006). According to these perspectives, which underpin narrative therapy,

disorganised and disrupted life stories can manifest as psychological problems, and

storytelling can help people to reconstruct a coherent life story that ‘affirms growth, health

and adaptation’ (McAdams, 2008, p248).

The model does however have limitations: principally, it appears to over-emphasise the

importance of narrative identity, and neglect other perspectives on identity (McAdams &

Pals, 2006). This is partially addressed by the ‘integrative science of personality’ which

provides a wider perspective and integrates narrative approaches with evolutionary

approaches, traits theories, characteristic adaptations and cultural approaches to personality

(McAdams & Pals, 2006). This approach has been criticised as attempting to integrate

personality theories which fundamentally conflict (Wood & Joseph, 2007). McAdams (2007)

accepts this criticism, but suggests the ‘integrative science of personality’ still provides a

useful way of organising the main approaches within personality psychology. With respect to

5

the current study, the debate suggests that a broader perspective is needed and consequently

theories on group context and grief are now considered.

Group context

The supportive environment of the digital storytelling workshop makes it similar to a self-

help group and there is mounting evidence that these groups can be beneficial (Davison,

Pennebaker, & Dickerson, 2000). For example, evidence suggests that bereavement support

groups effectively support their members (Pietilä, 2002); being able to talk about loss with

others who share that experience accelerates grieving (Walter, 1996); cancer self-help groups

help people develop coping strategies, accept their illness and make friends (Mok, 2001);

Carers groups provide friendship and support (Larkin, 2007); and suicide survivors groups

provide positive role models and offer hope to their members (Clark & Goldney, 1995).

Despite this evidence, measuring the effectiveness of self-help groups is complicated by

many factors including their self select nature, diversity of illness, context, level of

professional involvement and over-representation in the studies of people who find the

groups helpful and hence continue their involvement. On balance the evidence suggests that

self-help groups are beneficial for many people.

Although, there has been little research into how self-help groups actually help people (Dibb

& Yardley, 2006), the above studies suggest a range of mechanisms. In addition, the

storytelling workshop provides therapeutic conditions such as emotional support from the

facilitators and other group members, and a safe context for people to discuss their

experiences and emotions (Rogers, 1957); and the possibility of appropriating an empowering

group narrative such as being able to help others (Rappaport, 1994). Overall, the evidence

suggests that the group context is likely to be beneficial and has consequently been explored

in the current study.

Theories, models and perspectives on grief and coping with loss

Whilst at first sight, grief theories may not seem relevant, all the participants in the current

study produced stories about either loss or recovery. Traditional bereavement theories, such

as Freud's (1917/1953) ‘grief work’ approach, suggest that successful grieving is contingent

on the bereaved person confronting the reality of their loss, revisiting memories and the

possible trauma surrounding their loss, and finally loosening their attachment to the deceased

(Rothaupt & Becker, 2007). However, these approaches fail to capture how the bereaved

6

person’s view of the world changes to accommodate their loss. This aspect is addressed by

attachment theory which, through considering changes in the attachment relationship with the

deceased, has had a major influence on the field of bereavement (Stroebe & Schut, 1999).

Attachment theory outlines the importance of the bereaved person changing their ‘mental

model’ or representation of the deceased to allow the bereaved person to continue to relate

meaningfully to the deceased (Bowlby, 1980). This approach emphasises the importance of

bereaved person conception of their loss and how they relate to this concept. However,

traditional approaches can be criticised on the grounds of poor evidence; failure to explain the

range of responses to bereavement such as complicated or pathological grief (Stroebe &

Schut, 1999); and evidence that many people adjust healthily to bereavement without doing

‘grief work’ (Baddeley & Singer, 2009; Stroebe & Stroebe, 1991).

The Dual Process Model of grieving was developed to address the weaknesses of traditional

approaches and focuses on the process of coping with grief (Stroebe & Schut, 1999). It

highlights the importance of respite from ‘grief work’ and has three main components.

Firstly, ‘loss oriented’ coping describes the process of dealing with loss and reflects

traditional approaches, eg. focusing on the past, pining over the loss and experiencing

sadness. Secondly, ‘restoration oriented’ coping describes the process of dealing with the

secondary consequences of loss such as loneliness or loss of financial support. Thirdly, the

model suggests that healthy grieving involves oscillation between loss and restoration

processes. Overall, the model builds on previous approaches, is reasonably well supported by

evidence and can explain why some people struggle to adjust to loss (Parkes, 2002). With

respect to this study, its main contribution is to contrast ‘loss and restoration orientated’

coping both during the workshop and in daily life. Unfortunately, the model has not been

explored in relation to other loss experiences and crucially neglects the narrative aspect of the

workshop.

Building on the Dual Process Model, a constructivist perspective on grieving emphasises that

people try to reconstruct meaning in response to loss (Neimeyer et al., 2010). The perspective

echoes Frankl's (1992) claim that mental health is contingent on being able to make sense of

life’s experiences ie. ‘meaning-making’ processes enable people to maintain their mental

health. Whereas the Dual Process Model focuses on coping processes, constructivist

perspectives focus on how loss changes the bereaved person’s view of their world and affects

their identity. Neimeyer et al. (2010) conceptualise grieving as a process of attempting to re-

7

establish a coherent ‘self-narrative’. This concept expresses the idea that identity is a

narrative achievement, ie. our sense of who we are reflects the stories we tell about ourselves

and our worlds. It is similar to McAdams’ (2008) concept of ‘narrative identity’ and provides

an overarching structure which helps people to make sense of everyday events. Within

Neimeyer et al.’s (2010) model, ‘grieving involves reconstructing a view of a meaningful

world after this view has been challenged by loss’ (p73). From this perspective, loss

challenges ‘core beliefs’, such as a deep seated view that the world is fair, which provide a

sense of coherence to a person’s self-narrative. Neimeyer et al. (2010) do not clarify whether

self-narratives are singular or plural. However, their analysis implies that a person’s self-

narrative may become fragmented if their core beliefs are challenged by loss. In other words,

loss may result in several competing self-narratives, making it harder for people to make

sense of the world and function normally. This conceptualisation echoes attachment theory’s

personal ‘mental model’ (Bowlby, 1980) and Parkes’ (2002) conceptual assumptive world,

but emphasises the role of narrative in the construction of these models.

Neimeyer et al. (2010) suggests that people can adjust to loss by one of two meaning-making

processes. Firstly, they can ‘assimilate’ the loss into their pre-loss core beliefs and self-

narrative by reconstructing their understanding of the loss to make it fit these beliefs.

Secondly, people can ‘accommodate’ loss by changing their core beliefs and self-narrative to

embrace the reality of the loss, eg. they may see the loss as an opportunity for personal

growth. This is similar to loss and restoration oriented coping in the Dual Process Model but

Neimeyer et al. (2010) emphasise the importance of meaning-making and of having an

ongoing story which incorporates the loss into one’s self-narrative. Unfortunately they do not

discuss whether one process is more effective than the other, but the Dual Process Model

suggests that oscillation between the two processes is important for healthy grieving (Stroebe

& Schut, 1999); and Park (2010) suggests that these processes often occur simultaneously.

Looking beyond bereavement studies, there is evidence of consensus within the constructivist

literature that finding meaning in negative events is important for subsequent well-being

(Gilbert, 2002; Park, 2010; Skaggs & Barron, 2006). For example, Skaggs & Barron (2006)

distinguish between ‘global meaning’ to refer to general ‘beliefs, values, and goals’; and

‘situational meaning’ to describe the meaning an ‘individual attaches to a situation’ (p559).

They conclude that being unable to reconcile situational meaning with global meaning leads

to distress. They suggest that in response, people may attempt to change the meaning an

8

event has them personally, or change their beliefs to be congruent with the event’s perceived

meaning. These processes are similar to ‘assimilation’ and ‘accommodation’. This

conceptualisation is also consistent with the idea that ‘attaining a sense of closure’, ie.

resolving confusion, predicts psychological well-being (King & Hicks, 2006, as cited in

McAdams, 2008). This consensus suggests that a constructivist perspective to grieving can

usefully be applied to other types of loss. Despite this consensus, attempts to integrate

constructivist approaches into a single analytic framework have proved problematic (Park,

2010). To reflect this position, rather than using a single approach, the current study uses a

range of constructivist and other approaches as outlined above.

A constructivist conceptualisation of grieving also emphasises the importance of

interpersonal communication. Walter (1996) highlights that although traditional grief theories

(Bowlby, 1980; Freud, 1917/1953) emphasise the importance of detachment from the

deceased, they also suggest that an ongoing relationship with the deceased can assist

grieving. However, this second aspect has been ignored by many grief therapists. Walter

(1996) suggests that being able to talk about the deceased with others that knew them and

being able to create a story about the deceased that integrates their memory into the bereaved

person’s own ongoing life story can help the grieving process. Although this work is based on

anecdotal evidence, it identifies congruence between traditional theories and more recent

narrative approaches. Furthermore, there is support for this claim from evidence that listeners

can facilitate development of a coherent self-narrative by verifying the storytellers account

(Pasupathi & Rich, 2005).

However, constructivist approaches have several limitations. Despite theoretical congruence,

they cannot replace other approaches within the current study, as other approaches are more

pertinent to specific aspects of the storytelling experience. For example, the narrative

approach outlined by Parkes (1997) highlights specific storytelling stages which help people

cope with loss which are not covered by Neimeyer et al.’s constructivist approach.

Unfortunately, from an empirical perspective, the systematic evidence for constructivist

approaches is weak and generally relates to poor adjustment to loss (Park, 2010). For

example, a range of evidence suggests that failure to make meaning from loss experiences

predicts post-loss distress, chronic grief, and complicated grief (Neimeyer, Baldwin, &

Gillies, 2006; Currier, Holland, & Neimeyer, 2006). Furthermore, the evidence that

successful meaning-making leads to healthy grieving is predominantly based on clinical

9

anecdote (Neimeyer et al., 2010). On balance, constructivist approaches provide a useful

additional means of investigating loss experiences in this context.

In conclusion, this review shows that a range of disparate psychological approaches are

relevant to the study of digital storytelling. The review shows that a range of psychological

processes can help people successfully adjust to loss and trauma. These include reflecting on

the past, present and future; forming a coherent story which integrates views of loss, world

and self; making meaning out of the loss by finding some positive outcome; and sharing the

story with others. Although there is evidence that these approaches are congruent, because of

their differences in theoretical orientation, it has not been possible to integrate them into a

single approach. Consequently, the current study uses different approaches complementarily

to investigate different aspects of the participants’ experiences. Taken together, the above

approaches provide a useful set of concepts and frameworks for investigating digital

storytelling.

Aim and objectives

The study aims to explore the experiences of people who took part in a Patient Voices digital

storytelling workshop during which they produced digital stories about emotional and

traumatic experiences. The study is concerned with the participants’ experiences before and

during the workshop, and its subsequent impact. The workshop is a complex process and has

consequently been investigated from several disparate but complementary psychological

perspectives. These approaches include narrative psychology (Murray, 1997; McAdams,

1980), grief theories (Stroebe & Schut, 1999) and constructivist perspectives on grieving

(Neimeyer et al., 2010). Synthesising these approaches, the current study investigates how the

participants make sense of their traumatic experiences through producing coherent stories,

and the underlying processes which help them to construct meaning from these experiences.

The study focuses on how the storytelling workshop affects the participants views of their

loss or trauma, their ‘core beliefs’ about the world and consequently their sense of

themselves, or ‘self-narrative’. Although, the study is concerned with individual subjective

experiences, it aims to reflect the group context and identify common themes across the

participants’ experiences.

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Methodological rationale

The study’s focus on meaning-making and subjective experience sits comfortably within the

paradigm of narrative psychology (McAdams, 2008; Murray, 1997). Its novelty and broad

ontology suggest methodological flexibility. Within this, a qualitative approach is more

appropriate for interpreting subjective experiences within a specific context, than a

quantitative approach focussing on the strict quantification of observations (Ponterotto,

2005). Semi-structured interviews are considered to be appropriate as people’s talk in

interviews provides insight into how they understand themselves and their world (Murray,

2003). Several other methods were considered and rejected, for example: focus groups may

not allow the researcher enough control over the data collection and are considered

inappropriate for narrative and phenomenological analysis; questionnaires and quantitative

methods, such as rating scales, do not allow issues to be explored in sufficient depth (Howitt,

2010). Consequently, semi structured interviews were undertaken.

Despite the broad ontology, social constructionist approaches, such as discourse analysis and

discursive approaches, are considered inappropriate as they problematise the existence of an

underlying reality (Coyle, 2007). Thematic analysis is more appropriate as it is ontologically

flexible, and acknowledges the active role of the researcher and the subjective nature of data

interpretation (Braun & Clarke, 2006). However, semantic thematic analysis may neglect the

complex psychological processes which grief models suggest may be taking place (Braun &

Clarke, 2006). Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) which focuses on personal

perception of the meaning of particular events is able to capture this depth (Smith & Eatough,

2007); and narrative approaches are consistent with the storytelling nature of the workshop

(Murray, 2003). Consequently, a mixed method incorporating these approaches is considered

appropriate.

This mixed method reflects that the interviews themselves are not narratives in the strictest

sense, ie. the participants are not viewed as telling a story about their experience; but the

interview content reflects narrative processes, ie. storytelling. Thus it is important to look

beyond the semantic themes to an overarching narrative (Braun & Clarke, 2006; Murray,

2003). This approach also reflects the range of theoretical perspective outlined above

(Murray, 2003). Subsequent studies may adopt a narrative or phenomenological approach

from the outset.

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Method This research focuses on the experiences of seven people who took part in the Sheffield

Carers Voices digital storytelling project which took place in June 2009. The stories can be

found on the Patient Voices website at http://www.patientvoices.org.uk/sheffcc.htm, and on

the DVD in Appendix 1.

Interview preparation

The researcher wrote to all nine people who took part in the Sheffield Carers Voices project.

They were invited to be interviewed about their experience of the project and sent a

Participant Information sheet (Appendix 2). This approach resulted in a good response rate;

the intention was to interview five people, but in practice, seven people were interviewed.

The interviews took place in April 2010 in a meeting room at Sheffield Hallam University.

All interviews were conducted by the researcher and were recorded digitally.

The interviews

At the start of the interview, the participants were made to feel comfortable, given an

overview of the project and had an opportunity to ask questions. The participants were asked

to sign a consent form (Appendix 3).

An interview schedule was used to ensure that the interviews covered the main issues

identified in the initial literature review (Appendix 4). Questions included general questions,

such as “how did you find the process overall?”, and questions related to theory, such as “did

the workshop help you see your experience in a new light?” The interviews were ‘guided

conversations’ rather than question and answer sessions and the approach reflects that

recommended for IPA (Smith & Eatough, 2007). Each interview lasted between 20 and 45

minutes.

With respect to ethics, the BPS ‘Ethical Principles for Conducting Research with Human

Participants’ was followed (British Psychological Society, 2009). The risks of harm through

participation in the study are considered to be no higher than those normally encountered.

Anonymity was offered so that the participants would feel comfortable talking about sensitive

issues. Consequently, pseudonyms are used in this report. After the interviews, the

participants were debriefed and given a debriefing sheet (Appendix 5). Some of the

12

interviews involved talking about difficult emotional experiences and the researcher outlined

the importance of seeking support after the interview as appropriate. The participants were

sent a summary of the study findings (Appendix 6).

Mixed method analysis

A mixed method analysis based on thematic analysis but incorporating a narrative approach

and aspects of IPA was carried out. Themes were identified using three main stages. Firstly,

the interviews were transcribed orthographically, with some exchanges simplified eg.

overlapping text is not shown, and some non words, such as ‘umm’ and ‘ahh’, are omitted as

these details are not required (Howitt, 2010).

Secondly, the themes for each interview were identified separately using first and second

order coding as exemplified in Table 1(Smith & Osborn, 2003). An inductive approach was

taken and theme descriptions emerged from the data (Kissling, 1996). Appendix 7 contains

all the interview transcripts with coding and themes. The interviews were wide ranging and

the transcripts contain irrelevant data which was not coded. All the data is presented in

Appendix 7 and is consequently available for further analysis.

Table 1: Example of analysis - Betty

Transcription First order

coding

Second order

coding

Interview

theme

Dataset theme

my main reason for going

in was because of the

mistakes made by

services during my son’s

care and more than I

could actually put in the

story

Wanted services

to learn from

mistakes with

son’s care

Utility of story

important

Utility of story Wanting their

stories to help

other people

Each interview was summarised as suggested by Murray (2006) for a narrative approach

(Appendix 8). The themes were checked against these summaries and amended to ensure they

accurately reflected the data.

In the third stage, the dataset themes were identified. The interview themes were tabulated

with information from the interview summaries. This revealed consistency across the dataset

13

and seven themes were initially identified (Appendix 9). These were revised down to five

dataset themes which were re-checked against the interview summaries, themes and second

order codes (Appendices 10 &11). Several amendments were made eg. the description of

theme 5 changed from ‘positive impact on mental health’ to ‘positive impact on life in

general’. The final themes with main second order codes are shown in Appendix 12.

Several of the final themes contain subthemes relevant to about half of the participants,

despite this, the data within each theme are considered to cohere together meaningfully, and

the themes are distinct (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Less important issues are not reflected in the

final themes, which are however the result of a thorough iterative process. On reflection, the

themes could have been validated through discussion with the participants to reduce the

influence of the researcher (Howitt, 2010). However, the themes were discussed with the

project supervisor and validated this way. Overall, the themes are considered to capture the

main issues and be sufficiently robust for this level of analysis.

The participants and their stories

Reflecting a phenomenological concern with context, this section gives an overview of the

participants and their digital stories (Smith & Osborn, 2003). All the participants were health

and social care service users, carers or employees.

Martin is a long term mental health service user and was involved in the SHU Users and

Carers Project. Martin made two digital stories: one in 2008 about his struggle to overcome

his anti-social personality disorder; and the second story describes the therapeutic impact of

the first story, and how consequently he is now looking forward to a brighter future.

Ruth cares for her two autistic children and was involved in the SHU Users and Carers

Project. Ruth made two digital stories: one in 2008 which focussed on how she had lost her

sense of identity as a result of being a carer; her second story describes how whilst making

her first story she had experienced some sort of epiphany and is now able to respond to life’s

challenges more creatively.

Betty cares for a son with psychosis. Her story describes his first major psychotic episode.

During the storytelling process she became liberated from unconscious feelings of guilt

which she had experienced for many years.

14

Tina also cares for a son with psychosis. Her story describes how she feels her son is dying

over and over again. In the interview she describes how difficult she finds it to talk about

herself, and her feelings of guilt and grief.

Clare’s son suffered from depression and he took his own life in December 2006. Her story

describes the circumstances leading up to his death. She was motivated to make the story so

that services could learn from the mistakes that she feels were made with his care.

James had a near fatal industrial accident in 1999 and has subsequently suffered from post

traumatic stress disorder and depression. His story describes his accident and subsequent

struggles. The workshop helped him to make sense of these events and he found the

experience very therapeutic.

Julie’s story describes her mother’s life and eventual death. Whilst producing her story she

realised how she had blamed herself for not being with her mother when she died. As a

consequence she was able to see herself more positively and found the process cathartic.

Analysis and Discussion The themes identified through the analysis of interview data fit together to form a coherent

narrative (Table 2). Although the themes did not emerge from the data in temporal order, they

are presented in this way for clarity. The final section provides a perspective across the whole

dataset to reflect narrative and phenomenological approaches (Murray, 2003; Smith &

Osborne, 2003).

Table 2: Dataset themes

Theme 1 Wanting their stories to help other people

Theme 2 Very difficult emotional experience

Theme 3 Supportive context

Theme 4 Positive reframing

Theme 5 Positive impact on life in general

15

Theme 1 – Wanting their stories to help other people

The first theme summarises how the participants described their reasons for taking part in the

storytelling workshop. All the participants talked about wanting to make stories that would

help other people:

‘I wanted to do it to help me and help other people’ James [114]

‘I thought if this can help anybody in anyway, I’m just going to go for it’ Betty [58]

Within this theme there are three sub themes which were equally represented within the data,

with some participants’ experiences being reflected in several sub themes.

Sub theme – wanting to improve mental health services

Some participants wanted service providers to learn from past mistakes and thereby improve

mental health services:

‘I just knew at that stage that so many things had gone wrong with Joe’s life and his death and his

experience of the psychiatric service ... lessons needed to be learnt’ Clare [8]

‘My main reason for going in was because of the mistakes made by services during my son’s care ...

not to blame anyone but that services will learn from the mistakes and also to help other carers and the

people they care for’ Betty [10,14]

Sub theme – wanting people to understand the impact of mental illness

Several participants wanted clinicians and the general public to have a better understanding

of the impact of mental illness on patients and carers:

‘So it was about trying to ... spread a much wider understanding in society at large’ Tina [38,42]

‘So the guy (psychiatrist) learnt a lot that day about what it’s like to be a carer’ Clare [30]

Sub theme – wanting to offer hope to others

Several participants described being motivated to produce stories which offered hope to

people in a similar position to themselves:

‘I hope through the stories that people see is the fact that there is progression even for somebody as far

down the line as me’ Martin [175]

16

‘Hopefully it will give some hope to other people’ James [122]

This theme emerged at the start of the analysis which reflects that it was one of the first

interview questions. However, it is logical to present the themes in this order as it produces a

coherent narrative and the first theme provides a context for subsequent themes. The

existence of three subthemes reflects the range of participant experiences and broadness of

the main theme.

The theme reflects the aim of the workshop and so is not surprising. Using a narrative

perspective, Gergen and Gergen (1988) suggest that a good self-narrative needs a guiding

reason or ‘story goal’ (cited in Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999). All the participants described

their goal as wanting to help others. In addition, a constructivist perspective suggests that,

although it may not be explicit, the participants also have a goal of making meaning from

their loss or trauma (Neimeyer et al., 2010; Walter, 1996). The analysis below suggests that

helping others provides a way for the participants to construct meaning from their traumatic

experiences and assist their recovery from these experiences (Frankl, 1992). Overall,

constructivist perspectives suggest that wanting to help others could also help the participants

make sense of their traumatic experiences. The next section considers the actual workshop

experience.

Theme 2 – Very difficult emotional experience

All participants described the workshop as emotionally very difficult using terms such as

‘very painful’, ‘exhausting’, ‘upsetting’, ‘unsettling’ and ‘very traumatic’. In the workshop,

most of them found talking about their experiences difficult:

‘We were told that some people would feel it was like a cathartic experience ... at the time it didn’t

seem like that, it just seemed as though I’d been through hell and back again’ Clare [58]

‘Emotionally a really challenging journey ... this felt really painful because you’re taking the plaster off

... getting to the very root cause of what’s going on’ Julie [4,16]

‘I found it very difficult to talk about my experience’ Tina [8]

Martin and Ruth who were making their second digital stories placed less emphasis on its

emotional difficulty. However, they both described the first workshop as difficult: Ruth

17

described feeling ‘really exhausted for a long long while’ after wards; and Martin talked

about being ‘frightened to death at the end of the first one’.

Sub theme – distress at hearing other people’s stories

Three of the participants also emphasised their empathetic response to other people’s stories:

‘I know I’ve had a terrible ... accident but listening to some of the other people ... and what they’ve

been thru’ ... well I were in tears meself for them as well’ James [26–30]

‘It was emotional, heart tearing really, hearing some of the other people’s stories, some a lot worse than

mine’ Betty [2]

‘Other people’s experiences really cut me up’ Tina [6]

This theme reflects emotions such as sadness, despair, anger, frustration and helplessness in

response to stories about loss and trauma. These responses are consistent with grief theories

and thus to be expected (Bowlby, 1980; Freud, 1917; Stroebe & Schut, 1999). However, it is

interesting that the participants felt able to experience and express these emotions despite not

being in a formal therapeutic group and being with strangers. These experiences can be

understood using the Dual Process Model which suggests that generally the participants live

most of their lives with a restoration orientation, but in the workshop they are able to adopt a

loss orientation (Stroebe et al., 2005). Alternatively, narrative perspectives conceptualise the

participants as revisiting dysfunctional life stories ie. looking back to a world which doesn’t

make sense and experiencing the resultant feelings of loss and confusion (McAdams, 2008).

Finally from a constructivist perspective, the workshop is not simply a difficult experience,

which they endure, but part of an ongoing process of constructing meaning (Neimeyer et al.,

2010). All these perspectives suggest that reflecting on loss and trauma is difficult emotional

work, and provide a range of different ways of understanding this theme. Furthermore, they

predict that this process is potentially beneficial which links this theme with the final theme.

These perspectives seem equally useful and the analysis below shows that the different

perspectives are relevant to different data.

Taking a narrative approach shows this theme in the context of a coherent story which runs

through the dataset (Murray, 2003). The data suggest that difficult life experiences motivated

the participants to help others with similar challenges (theme 1); revisiting these experiences

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was emotionally difficult (theme 2); and was possible because of the supportive context

(theme 3); the whole process enabled them to positively reframe these difficult experiences

(theme 4); which has subsequently had a positive impact on their life (theme 5). The next

section shows that the difficult emotional nature of the workshop reflects the supportive

conditions.

Theme 3 – Supportive context

All the participants described the workshop context as very supportive. They described

support from the facilitators and the rest of the group, feeling safe and being listened to

attentively and empathically. These factors help to explain why people were able to

experience and express the difficult emotions described above (Rogers, 1957; Pasupathi &

Rich, 2005). The data suggest that they were able to have their experiences understood and

validated by the facilitators and other group members which is considered to be beneficial

(Pasupathi & Rich, 2005; Pietilä, 2002).

‘I’ve got wonderful support from that, it was really like a support team and Pip and Tony ... were

marvellous and they were so sensitive and supportive and they do seem to have some insight into

people’s grief you know very supportive and gentle about that’ Tina [64]

‘I felt very very safe’ Julie [72]

‘I think it’s because people were that interested in me and what had happened to me ... I think the group

we were in really cared about each other ... I thought they was absolutely fantastic ... you couldn’t wish

for a better group of people to do anything like that with so they just made you feel at home’ James

[184,190,192,194]

‘Although we’d all got different experiences we were sort of in the same situation in a way and it made

it easier to talk and knowing that you wasn’t the only one who was being emotional and it felt a very

safe place to be’ Betty [90]

‘To have people listening and being supportive was a wonderful experience ... and I think that was the

only time I’ve ever had that ... so it was good, yes, it was very positive’ Tina [144,146]

Although the workshop is not offered as a form of therapy, it meets many of the conditions

found in therapeutic self-help groups, such as shared objectives, emotional disclosure, clear

boundaries, empathic listening and opportunities for members to compare their experiences

19

with others, and see that they weren’t alone in struggling with challenges (Davison et al.,

2000). Several of the participants contrast the experience with forms of therapy:

‘I’d had ... loads and loads of therapy ... I’ve had gestalt therapy where you ... do lots of creative things

but not in as a concentrated powerful way’ Ruth [122,128]

‘I did cognitive behaviour therapy and I did a lot of writing about ... from when I were born and it

didn’t work ... so I think that had more of an impact’ James [168,170]

‘I'd seen a psychologist ... for almost a year so I understood what was causing the problems ... I was

encouraged to write something mainly for me ... I wrote pages and pages of the stuff’ Martin [29,31]

It may seem surprising that many participants found that the workshop more beneficial than

formal therapy. However there is mounting evidence that this type of context is beneficial.

For example, there is evidence that support groups are effective for people dealing with

bereavement (Pietilä, 2002) and other challenges (Clark & Goldney, 1995; Larkin, 2007;

Mok, 2007); talking about loss with others who share the experience is beneficial (Walter,

1996); and producing personal narratives can be therapeutic, (McAdams, 2008; Neimeyer et

al., 2010). However, there are some significant differences between the workshop and self-

help groups, particularly duration, intensity and motivation for involvement. It is speculated

that these factors may contribute to the different outcomes.

Returning to a narrative perspective, Murray (1997) suggests that people are natural

storytellers. But the difficulty that the participants describe outlined in the previous theme,

suggests that supportive conditions are necessary for storytelling in this context (Rogers,

1957; Pasupathi & Rich, 2005). From this perspective, the participants could also be

conceptualised as appropriating an optimistic group narrative that empowered their

storytelling efforts (Rappaport, 1993; Neimeyer et al., 2010).

In summary, all the participants described how much they valued the support from other

group members and the facilitators, and how this helped them to tell their story. Although the

workshop is ostensibly focussed on producing digital stories, the above analysis demonstrates

that a supportive context is not only fundamental to the process, but an important outcome in

itself. Unfortunately it has not been possible to disentangle the complexity of the group

situation and its possible therapeutic effect. Despite this, there is evidence that the workshop

20

offers many of the benefits of self-help groups, possibly in a concentrated format. Moving

away from the group context, the next section looks in more detail at the storytelling process.

Theme 4 – Positive reframing

There is clear evidence in all the participants’ interviews of varying degrees of positive

reframing. This theme emerged as one of the initial seven themes across the dataset.

Subsequently, some of the data initially coded to a theme of ‘empowering process’ was

recoded to this theme. Although such decisions could suggest that the themes are arbitrary,

this analysis suggests that they work as a way of making sense of the data. Furthermore, the

themes allow established theory to be applied to digital storytelling in an original way, and

provide useful insights into the participant’s experiences.

The data provide good examples of the storytelling process helping people to make sense of

their worlds (Murray, 2003). In particular, the stories focus on ‘self-defining memories’

which have a significant influence on a person’s narrative identity (McAdams, 2008). The

analysis shows how narrative approaches (McAdams, 2008; Murray, 1997) and grief models

(Stroebe & Schut, 1999) can add to a semantic thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006).

Reframing took different forms for each participant and is illustrated by the following four

examples.

Example 1 – Applying the Dual Process Model of Grieving

Julie talked about blaming herself for not being with her mother when she died. The

workshop gave her a rare opportunity to reflect on the events surrounding her mother’s death,

during which she developed a more positive view of herself and no longer feels burdened by

guilt. In the context of Dual Process Model (Stroebe & Schut, 1999), Julie usually adopts

restoration orientated coping and is busy getting on with life:

‘We lead such busy lives, that I had time to focus on me, which is very rare’ Julie [6]

Reflecting on her mother’s death can be interpreted as loss oriented coping:

‘It felt very cathartic cos I always felt as though I hadn’t cared for mum enough ... it’s only when you

do have time to reflect otherwise you always think I could have done better, I could have done it this

way, I should have done that and its only afterwards you think I wasn’t so bad’ Julie [104,106]

21

As a consequence she comes to more a positive interpretation of events:

‘Cos I can see ... it really feels like the huge amount of guilt I felt, cos I wasn’t there (when she died) ...

that making the film just helped me reflect on the positive which I think ... is just ... tremendous cos I

just always viewed me as such as baddy who wasn’t there for mum’ Julie [166,168]

Interpreting the data in the context of Stroebe & Schut’s (1999) Dual Process Model helps to

explain why the process had a positive effect of Julie’s self view. The model provides a better

description of the emotional processes which take place in the storytelling workshop than

traditional grief models (Freud, 1917/1953; Bowlby, 1980). The process of oscillation

between loss and restoration orientated coping can be seen in data, eg. switching from

focussing on the past to creating the story in the present (Stroebe & Schut, 1999). It could be

speculated that successful oscillation explains why the workshop had more impact for some

participants than traditional grief work which they may have undertaken (Freud, 1917/1953).

Overall, the model has good explanatory power with respect to the emotional processes

described by the participants. However, it neglects the narrative element of the workshop,

which is considered next.

Example 2 – A narrative approach

Applying a narrative approach suggested by Murray (1997) highlights how James positively

reframes a traumatic event. Murray (1997) identified three storytelling stages which help

people to positively reframe traumatic life events: firstly expressing the experience in words;

secondly emplotment; and thirdly using a progressive structure to organise the narrative.

Firstly, putting his experience into words helps James develop hope about the future eg.

‘12 months ago I didn’t want to do out, I didn’t even want to wake up in the morning and I want to live

a bit now’ James [222]

‘But it had such a big impact that I turned a corner ... now let’s get on with life’ James [246,248]

Secondly, James describes a process of bringing order to the crisis. (Ricoeur, 1998) described

this as a process of ‘emplotment’ through which, in this case, James is able to gain a more

objective perspective on his accident:

22

‘Doing a process like that helps you get it all into sequence’ James [128]

‘I’d got a big box of things stuffed away, they were all over the place ... and I took that lot out and I’ve

dealt with that bit and I think that’s what’s helped me move on’ James [256,258]

Thirdly, the data show that James’ narrative has a progressive structure and is used to

redefine a crisis as an opportunity for rebirth and development (Gergen 1986 as cited in

Murray, 1997):

‘My main objective now is to keep helping people ... it’s made me more want to help people as well’

James [306,308]

Murray’s (1997) narrative approach focuses on narrative content and in this example provides

insight into James’s experience. This analysis also reflects that putting events into a coherent

life story helps people to make sense of them (Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999), and affirms life’s

meaning and purpose (McAdams, 2008).

Example 3 – Narrative identity

In these excerpts, Ruth relates how she realised that she had lost her previous identity as a

result of continually telling her children’s story, rather than her own. She had become

consumed by an identity of being their carer, and comments that this story had the power to

control her for the rest of her life:

‘You realise that you can let your story control you for the rest of your life ... but I suppose that as

carers we rarely ever get the chance to tell our story, there’s hundreds of opportunities to tell their story

and it’s a necessity, and so perhaps that’s one of the reasons why you lose touch with yourself as well’

Ruth [78-80]

This illustrates how telling stories can contribute to a sense of narrative identity (McAdams,

2008), or self-narrative (Neimeyer et al., 2010); and that stories can be an essential part of

being human (Carr, 1986 as cited in Crossley, 2000). Prior to the first storytelling workshop,

Ruth’s identity revolved around being a carer. Producing her first digital story helped her

rediscover her previous identity:

‘I suppose that having the opportunity to have a voice about that, have it out ... helped me move on

because I could let go of it ... it was powerful like that and that was the healing for me ... the experience

23

showed me that I was missing out on living ... I would say it was like my first waking up and since then

I do feel like I’m living differently’ Ruth [26-30]

Narrative psychology suggests that under normal circumstances, people are able to make

sense of their experiences by relating them to one another to form a coherent narrative

(Crossley, 2000). By contrast, caring for autistic children, with unpredictable behaviour, may

make it difficult for the carer to predict what is going to happen in their own life. From a life

story perspective, prior to the workshop, Ruth’s narrative identity was ‘swamped’ by her

children’s narratives. According to McAdams (2008), this suggests either competing

narrative identities or a single incoherent narrative identity. From this perspective, the

storytelling workshop enabled Ruth to rebuild a coherent narrative identity which enabled her

to grow personally. Alternative, Ruth can be conceptualised as changing her view of herself

and her model of the world to regain a coherent sense of herself which Parkes (2002)

suggests is an effective adaptive mechanism. Thus the data illustrates consensus within the

perspectives about the impact of narrative on identity.

Example 4 – Making sense of loss

Betty realised that she had been carrying hidden feelings of guilt about her ability to bring up

her children. The workshop helped her to see that in response to her son becoming ill, she had

had to be strong. This realisation improved her self confidence. She now feels liberated from

feelings of guilt and is consequently happier:

‘And it wasn’t ‘til weeks later that I realised that I had been carrying guilt feelings around with me ...

and it’s released me of that ... I think I’d buried those feelings and hadn’t dealt with them ... but doing

that made me realise that, and I felt freer than I have in a long long time’ Betty [34-38]

‘People used to say you’re a strong person and I never used to believe them ... but looking back I must

have had to be pretty strong and that reinforced that for me ... so it gave me a bit more self belief’ Betty

[112-116]

Using a constructivist perspective, it is speculated that prior to the workshop, Betty made

sense of her son’s illness by developing a self-narrative as an inadequate mother which

enabled her to maintain core beliefs that the world is fair (Neimeyer et al., 2010). The

workshop helped her to see more of her positive qualities which enabled her to develop a

more positive self-narrative. This would have required her to adopt new core beliefs to reflect

24

a world in which bad things happen to decent people, such as herself, through no fault of their

own. The process gave meaning to her experience as a carer, eg. an opportunity to care for

her son and for personal growth. The workshop allowed her to review her loss, re-establish a

coherent self-narrative and integrate these revised views with her core beliefs about the

world. A constructivist perspective suggests that these changes predict subsequent well-being

(Neimeyer et al., 2010), eg. Betty describes how she is now more confident at standing up for

herself:

‘Oh a lot more open ... I don’t hesitate to say I’m a carer for someone’s who’s mentally ill ... yeah it has

changed in that at one time if people had come back with something negative I would have just shut up

... I challenge that now and say it could happen to anyone’ Betty [174]

In summary, a range of analytic approaches have been used to reflect the range of

experiences and this approach revealed common themes across the dataset, namely: all the

participants described loss oriented coping (Stroebe & Schut, 1999), forming a coherent story

(Murray, 1997), changes to narrative identity (McAdams, 2008) or self-narrative and core

beliefs (Neimeyer et al., 2010), and meaning making (Neimeyer at al., 2010). These findings

demonstrate that these approaches can complement each other.

Overall, there is evidence that the workshop helped the participants to positively reframe

negative experiences. However, there are examples of where positive reframing was less

successful and these are discussed in the next section which considers the longer term impact

of the workshop

Theme 5 – Positive impact on life in general

All the participants described how the process had generally had a positive effect on their

lives in the nine months since the workshop. There is consensus within the above theories

that being able to positively reframe difficult experiences, however that process is

conceptualised, is beneficial (eg. McAdams, 2008; Neimeyer et al., 2010). Although the

existence of this theme provides some support for the above theories, the depth and longevity

of the change is unclear and could be explored in subsequent studies.

For several participants, the experience was life changing and helped them break out of a

long term period of negativity. The participants generally described how negative events in

25

their past had less power over them now than before the workshop. The following extracts

illustrate the range of ways that the participants feel affected by the workshop.

Firstly, Betty describes how the workshop liberated her from feelings of guilt. In terms of the

life story model of identity, these excerpts suggest that Betty’s self-narrative changed from

one of inadequacy to confidence (McAdams, 2008). She can be conceptualised as moving

from being positioned within her life story as ‘weak and vulnerable’ to ‘brave and

courageous’ (Thorne and McLean, 2003 as cited in McAdams, 2008):

‘I used to feel a bit guilty sometimes ... having time for myself ... but now I feel fine about it and I

know it’s necessary for me as well’ Betty [120-126]

‘So it gave me a bit more self belief actually’ Betty [116]

Martin describes how his identity is linked with his past reflecting narrative psychology’s

claim that identity is a narrative achievement (McAdams, 2008; Neimeyer et al., 2010). From

this perspective, the data suggest that his self-narrative and core beliefs have changed and

that there is greater coherence between these beliefs. Martin’s improved well-being can be

linked to his ability to make more sense of his world (Frankl, 1992; Neimeyer et al., 2010).

‘It’s just the confidence I’ve got from it ... brilliant innit’ Martin [23]

‘I've actually broken the chains ... they were sort of holding me back from doing what I wanted to do’

Martin [71-73]

‘Now there is a better tomorrow, it might not be ideal ... it's better than what I've had’ Martin [81-83]

“It doesn’t bother me about the trauma ... I just accept it for what it is” Martin [93,99]

“I felt more comfortable with myself about it ... the tug of the chain wasn’t there anymore, it’s gone”

Martin [167]

Julie commented less on the workshop’s positive impact. This could be taken as the norm but

seen alongside the rest of the dataset probably reflects that she has fewer mental health issues

than the other participants. It does however suggest that positive reframing is contingent upon

having a traumatic experience to reflect on. Overall, Julie still talked very positively about the

26

workshop. As outlined above, Stroebe & Schut’s (1999) Dual Process Model helps explain

why Julie found the process beneficial.

‘I feel that it was really worth doing’ Julie [102].

Ruth found both workshops very therapeutic and describes some of the ways in which it has

affected her life. As outlined above, the data illustrate how producing the stories helped Ruth

rebuild a coherent self-narrative which enabled her to grow personally (McAdams, 2008).

‘Very very helpful, very healing’ Ruth [4]

‘I feel like I live in the moment more ... and that feels creative’ Ruth [62,64]

‘I don’t feel the enormity of responsibility that I did ... I feel liberated from the drama of it’ Ruth [152-

156]

‘I used to worry about the future all the time... now I don’t ... I’m a lot more at ease’ Ruth [176-180]

James describes how since the workshop he spends less time dwelling on his accident and

although he is struggling, he is more positive about his future. The data suggest that prior to

the workshop, James was predominantly loss oriented, and is now predominantly restoration

oriented ie. focuses on the present and future. According to the Dual Process Model this

oscillation between loss and restoration orientation is predictive of successful recovery from

loss (Stroebe & Schut, 1999). This is evident in James’s description:

‘Looking back it’s done me good ‘cos ... I’m not dwelling so much on the accident now’ James [92]

‘I feel a lot better for doing it, I’m glad I did it’ James [108]

‘I don’t shudder so much when I say to people I’ve had a fall at work and I can just talk about it now

whereas before I used to cower up about it’ James [156]

‘I’m not as bad as I were cos I was on verge of committing hari kari, I’d had enough ... and I’m not like

that now ... I’m struggling but I’m not like that’ James [212]

27

Clare was very positive about the workshop but is still struggling to make sense of her son’s

death. She describes an incoherent self-narrative with respect to feelings of guilt (Neimeyer et

al., 2010):

‘I think it was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life’ Clare [4]

‘And you think well I hope I’ve managed to put that in a box and finished with it now but of course

nothing’s that simple ... but it was better’ Clare [108-110]

“Rationally you know ... you shouldn’t feel guilty but actually in keeps bubbling through the cracks

you’ve papered over ... you do feel incredibly guilty, so those are the demons that one keeps trying to

cope with really” Clare [120]

Tina was also very positive about the experience. However, she still has bouts of depression,

and wants to make another story focussing on herself rather than her son. The data suggest

that she struggles to adopt a loss orientation which may explain why she struggles to adjust to

her son’s illness (Stroebe & Schut, 1999). A constructivist perspective suggests that her

difficulty talking about herself suggests that she has been unable to develop a coherent self-

narrative which integrates her core beliefs with her views of loss (Neimeyer et al., 2010).

‘I wish I’d been able to do it years ago because then it would have been actually marvellous’ [84]

‘Yes, very beneficial’ [94]

‘I think that was one of the few times I’ve ever really been able to share it, so that was very good, I

thought it was good for Ted to see that’ Tina [120] referring to her story

‘I really think I could do with doing another one to tackle some of this other stuff which is much more

about me but which I had never taken on’ Tina [126]

The above interpretations help to explain why the storytelling process had a positive impact

on the participants’ lives in general. However, the use of symbolic representations, such as

personal photos, may also be relevant. Using the emotional writing paradigm, Pennebaker &

Chung (2007) found that cognitive processes involved in translating emotions into language

contribute to health benefits. Although the evidence for the emotional writing paradigm is

weak (Stroebe et al., 2005), there is evidence that photos can also help people explore

28

meaning and memories (Martin, 2009); reflect on past experiences and relationships (Stewart,

1979); and communicate difficult experiences (Thompson et al., 2008).

Furthermore, the data suggest that images and music can be personally meaningful and so

assist the meaning-making process. For example, Martin describes “pictures of chains” as

being “very symbolic” and that their inclusion in his story was personally meaningful; Tina

and Julie both included old photos of their loved ones when they looked well which may have

helped them to have a more positive ongoing attachment relationship with the people they

had lost through illness or death (Walter, 1996). In contrast, images can also be upsetting and

the above analysis suggests that they need to be used in a supportive context to be beneficial.

Whilst the evidence is inconclusive, it is speculated that the cognitive processes involved in

selecting pictures and music contribute to the therapeutic impact of digital storytelling. These

findings suggest this aspect of digital storytelling is worthy of further investigation.

In conclusion, the variety and prevalence of data supporting this theme demonstrate that this

is an important theme (Braun & Clark, 2006). Although the participants are very positive

about the experience, the positive impact does appear to be contingent upon having

psychological difficulties to work on. Furthermore, the analysis is not able to address the

sustainability or depth of the workshop’s effect.

The positive impact of the workshop has been interpreted using different perspectives. These

emphasise different psychological processes and use a range of concepts to reflect the

diversity within the study but, as outlined above, are generally complementary. Synthesising

these perspective suggests that the positive impact of the workshop is due to a range of

factors. These include a supportive context in which people can reflect on their loss, core

beliefs and resultant self-narrative, and develop a coherent story which made sense of life’s

challenges (Neimeyer et al., 2010; McAdams, 2008). Having considered the themes

individually, the next section reflects a narrative approach and integrates the themes into a

coherent narrative which provides a wider perspective across the dataset (Murray, 2003).

A narrative perspective across the whole dataset

For most participants, their ‘storytelling’ story started many years before the workshop.

Traumatic events, such as loss and illness, shattered their lives and deeply affected them. A

constructivist perspective suggests that to reconcile these events and assimilate the loss into

29

their core beliefs, the participants changed their self-narrative to one which incorporated a

greater sense of vulnerability than before (Neimeyer et al., 2010). This allowed them to

maintain core beliefs that the world is fair. These experiences motivated them to try to

improve health and social care services which helped to give meaning to their experiences

and, according to Frankl (1992), may have been part of their recovery. The workshop allowed

them to re-examine their self-narrative and see how they had developed personally to

overcome life’s challenges. This process led to a more positive self-narrative incorporating a

greater sense of strength and resilience. Through reflecting on their own experiences and

listening to other people’s experiences, the participants’ core beliefs changed to provide

greater coherence within their self-narrative (Neimeyer et al., 2010).

The analysis suggests that having a coherent story in their mind, on DVD, and having shared

their story with an empathic audience enabled them to share their story with other people

(Pennebaker & Chung, 2007). Whereas previously they may have kept their feelings secret,

through fear of burdening others or facing discrimination, they could now find it easier to

gain emotional support from others and experience release from the emotional strain of

inhibition (Pennebaker & Chung, 2007). As a consequence of the workshop, the participants

are more able to perform this narrative in front of others, and it is speculated that this process

helps to strengthen positive aspects of their narrative identity with subsequent beneficial

impact (Walter, 1999; Pennebaker & Chung, 2007).

This approach demonstrates that the themes are contingent upon each other. In particular it

suggests that the positive impact of the workshop is due to many interconnected factors. This

approach reflects both the complexity of processes taking place and the consistency across

the dataset. The analysis also illustrates that a narrative approach (Murray, 2003) provides a

more comprehensive explanation of the participants’ experiences than a semantic thematic

analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006). On the downside, issues which were only important to one

or two participants are lost. These are outside the scope of the current study and could be

explored in a study with a stronger ideographic focus.

Reflexive analysis

To reflect the relativist aspect of the narrative ontology, this section explores how I may have

influenced this study (Burr, 2003). My interest in the topic arose through commissioning a

digital storytelling project in a previous work role. I inevitably influenced the analysis, for

30

example by asking certain interview questions and the data is clearly jointly constructed by

myself and the interviewees (Gilbert, 2002).To minimise the effect of my expectations and

preconceptions, I took an inductive approach grounded in the data and theoretical

perspectives. With respect to theoretical questions, I carefully worded my questions

impartially to avoid influencing the participants’ responses. But where participants described

experiences similar to those outlined in the theories, I sought clarification, eg. in response to

James describing that it’s ‘like opening a box up’, I suggested that ‘you face them and work

thru them and make a bit more sense out of it’. I also avoided trying to demonstrate that the

workshop was therapeutic. However, when this was described by the participants, I sought

clarification. Although the data is influenced by the theoretical underpinnings, at the time of

the interviews, I had only undertaken a brief literature review, which should have limited this

effect.

I knew all the participants, having met them professionally several times before the

interviews. As a result the participants trusted me and I was quickly able to build rapport in

the interviews which enabled in depth discussions. Furthermore, we shared an understanding

of the workshop and the stories. I also attended a separate digital storytelling workshop so

that I could understand the process and consequently relate better to the participants.

However, there is also a risk that the participants talked about the workshop more favourably

as they knew that I had commissioned the project and had a stake in the current study. To

mitigate this effect, I encouraged the participants to be open and honest in their responses.

However, despite my best endeavours to minimise distortion and loss of content, it is

acknowledged that a different researcher may reach different conclusions. To reflect this

situation, the findings should be viewed as one of many possibly equally valid interpretations.

Concluding Remarks The current study set out to explore the experiences of seven people who took part in a

Patient Voices digital storytelling project. Although digital storytelling is now widespread, its

use in health and social care services has not been explored within the psychological

literature. As a result, the current study is original and difficult to ground in a single

perspective. Semi-structured interviews were carried out to give data which whilst describing

narratives, are not strictly narratives themselves (Murray, 2003). To reflect this ontological

31

uncertainty, a mixed method approach was adopted. There was a good response rate and

seven people were interviewed.

This approach resulted in rich data and five themes were identified which form a coherent

narrative, as follows: difficult life experiences motivated the participants to make a digital

story so that others could learn from their experiences; the process was emotionally difficult;

and was possible because of the supportive context; the storytelling process enabled them to

positively reframe these difficult experiences; which has subsequently had a positive impact

on their lives in general. Although these themes could have been predicted, the strength of the

themes is surprising and this is particular clear from the positive descriptions of the

workshops and its subsequent affect. Rigorous cross checking with the data suggests that

these themes are robust for this sample.

The data revealed a wide range of personal experiences and complex processes which

contrasts with the homogeneity of the overarching themes, but is still consistent with them.

This pattern is reflected in the range of disparate but complementary theoretical perspectives

which have been used. For example, narrative approaches have been used to reflect the

storytelling processes (Murray, 1997); grief theories to interpret how people deal with loss

and trauma (Stroebe & Schut, 1999); constructivist perspectives to reflect how people

construct meaning from life’s challenges (Neimeyer et al. 2010); and theories on

psychotherapy and group work to reflect the context (Rogers, 1957; Pasupathi & Rich, 2005).

The analyses demonstrate that, in this context, these approaches complement each other.

Synthesising these perspectives suggests that the participants undertook loss and restoration

oriented coping (Stroebe & Schut, 1999), were able to form a coherent story (Murray, 1997),

experienced changes to their narrative identity (McAdams, 2008) and were able to make

meaning out of their traumatic experiences (Neimeyer at al., 2010).

Reflecting its novelty, the current study has been unable to look in detail at many aspects of

the participants’ experiences. Subsequent studies could focus on specific aspects of the

workshop; use longer term follow up to investigate the longevity of the benefits; or take more

traditional narrative or phenomenological approaches from the outset. Furthermore, the lack

of relevant psychological research means that speculation has been unavoidable. As a result,

there are many areas worthy of further study, four of which are considered below.

32

Firstly, considering the reasons for taking part, it would be interesting to investigate how the

way in which the stories are used by the storytellers and in services affects the storytellers.

The above data could be triangulated with analyses of the digital stories themselves and the

views of other people involved in the process to provide a more complete picture. Secondly,

the current study has not investigated the use of photos and other forms of symbolic

representation but has speculated about their therapeutic value. Hence further investigation of

this aspect of digital storytelling could be fruitful. Thirdly, it would also be interesting to

investigate the group context in more detail as the current study suggests that it is beneficial

but has not investigated it in depth. Fourthly, reflecting its subjective focus, the current

analyses are based on the participants own descriptions of their thoughts and feelings. In this

respect, interviews are considered performative, ie. participants do not present information

objectively but manage their image to create an intended impact (Goffman, 1959 as cited in

Howitt, 2010). Future studies could use other methods such as observation of the workshop

itself, group discussions and possibly quantitative measures to provide a more complete

picture of the participants’ subjective experiences.

In conclusion, all the participants talked positively about their experiences of digital

storytelling and how they had subsequently benefitted. Many of the participants are

consequently more optimistic about their future. By contrast, they also found it a difficult

experience. The current study has not investigated whether these benefits can be sustained

over the longer term, and for several participants the benefits were relatively short lived.

Synthesising the above perspectives, the analysis suggests that during the workshop the

participants were able to reflect on their past, present and future. They were then able to form

a coherent story, experience changes to their narrative identity and thus make meaning out of

their traumatic experiences. The current study is supportive of narrative psychology’s claim

that people’s stories form an important part of their identity (McAdams, 2008); and the

constructivist view that stories provide an important way for people to make sense of their

world and reconstruct a view of a meaningful world after it has been challenged by loss and

trauma (Neimeyer et al., 2010). The data clearly suggests that the participants found the

workshop beneficial at the time, subsequently and potentially in the future. These findings,

together with the increasing accessibility of digital media, and the lack of an appropriate

integrated theoretical framework, suggest that the topic warrants further investigation.

33

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List of Appendices

1 DVD of Sheffield Carers Voices Digital Stories

2 Participant information sheet

3 Consent form

4 Interview schedule

5 Participant debriefing sheet

6 Summary of study finding for participants

7 Interview transcripts with coding and themes

8 Interview summaries

9 Initial seven themes mapped against interview summaries

10 Final dataset themes mapped against interview summaries

11 Final dataset themes with all second order codes

12 Final dataset themes with the main second order codes

Appendix 2: Participant Information sheet

An exploration of personal experiences of taking part in a digital storytelling project

An MSc Psychology Research Project

Please will you take part in a study about the experience of taking part in a digital storytelling project. This study is being undertaken as part of an MSc in Psychology. It is being carried out with the support of Pip and Tony at Pilgrim Projects. I am asking you as you took part in the Sheffield Carers Voices project in 2009. I aim to interview about five people and your involvement is totally voluntary. This briefing tells you more about what you will have to do if you agree to take part in this study. Thank you Mark Shea 1. What will I be required to do? You will be required to take part in an interview in

which you will have an opportunity to talk about your experience of digital storytelling. Questions will relate to your reasons for taking part, expectations of the process, your experience of making a digital story and how this has had an impact on your life in general.

2. Where will this take place? Interviews will be carried out in a confidential setting at

the Sheffield Hallam University Collegiate Crescent campus. 3. How often will I have to take part, and for how long? The interview is anticipated to

take about half an hour, but there will be flexibility around this timing. You will also need to allow time to prepare for the interview, debriefing after the interview and to read through a transcript of your interview. It may also be necessary to follow up a few issues with you after the interview has finished, but this should be minimal.

4. When will I have the opportunity to discuss my participation? You will be able to

discuss your participation at any point during the study, but in particular will be briefed before the interview and debriefed after it.

5. Who will be responsible for all of the information when this study is over? The data

and study will be the property of the researcher and Sheffield Hallam University. A copy of the report may be published on the Pilgrim Projects website. A one page summary will be produced and sent to all participants. Findings from the study may be used in further research or in teaching situations.

6. Who will have access to it? Members of Sheffield Hallam University and the general

public will be able to read the dissertation report. 7. What will happen to the information when this study is over? The raw data will

remain the property of the researcher and Sheffield Hallam University but will not be

Appendix 2 2

used for further research unless consent for this purpose is gained from the relevant participants. The data will be stored for 5 years in a locked cabinet, after which time it will disposed of using normal university procedures for confidential waste.

8. How will you use what you find out? The findings will be written up as a dissertation

report which will be submitted as part of an MSc in Psychology. The findings may be used other people with an interest in this area, such as Pilgrim Projects.

9. Will anyone be able to connect me with what is recorded and reported? The data will

be presented anonymously; pseudonyms will be used. However, people who have seen your digital story may be able to connect the study data to you if your identity is clear from your digital story. However, you have previously had control over the level of anonymity in your digital story.

10. How long is the whole study likely to last? The interviews are being planned to take

place in March and April 2010. The dissertation is due to be written up by the end of August 2010.

11. How can I find out about the results of the study? You can receive a copy of the

dissertation report by contacting the researcher. A one page summary will also be produced and sent, or emailed, to all participants.

12. What if I do not wish to take part? Participation is totally voluntary. 13. What if I change my mind during the study? You will have the right to withdraw at

any stage of the process up until the interview and subsequent debriefing; and to withdraw all or part of the data arising from your interview up until 7 days after receipt of the transcript.

14. What if I have any other questions? If you have questions please contact the researcher, Mark Shea by email at mark.shea@student.shu.ac.uk If you have any concerns about the project, you can either contact: Mark using the above contact details Mark’s supervisor, Rachel Abbott on 225 5951or by email at R.L.Abbott@shu.ac.uk, or by post at Room 109, Department of Psychology, Southborne, Sheffield Hallam University, Collegiate Crescent Campus, Collegiate Crescent, Sheffield, S10 2BP; If your query relates to your digital story, please contact Pip Hardy at Pilgrim Projects, on 01954 202158, or by post at Pilgrim Projects, The Barn, 1, Corbett Street, Cottenham, Cambs, CB24 8QX or by email at pip@pilgrimprojects.co.uk

Appendix 3: Participant Consent Form

An exploration of personal experiences of taking part in a

digital storytelling project

An MSc Psychology Research Project

Please answer the following questions by circling your responses Have you read the information sheet about this study? YES NO Have you been able to ask questions about this study? YES NO Have you received answers to all your questions? YES NO Have you received enough information about this study? YES NO Who have you spoken to about this study? ...................................... Do you understand that you are free to withdraw from this study: • At any time up until or during the interview and subsequent

debriefing interview without giving a reason? YES NO • And to withdraw your data up until 7 days after the receipt

of the transcript of your interview without giving a reason? YES NO

Do you agree to take part in this study? YES NO Your signature will certify that you have voluntarily decided to take part in this research study having read and understood the information in the sheet for participants. It will also certify that you have had adequate opportunity to discuss the study with the researcher and that all questions have been answered to your satisfaction Signature of participant:..................................................... Date:..................... Name (block letters):.......................................................... Signature of researcher: .................................................... Date:.................... Please keep your copy of the consent form and the information sheet together. Thank you for your participation. Mark Shea

Appendix 4: Interview schedule

How did you find the process overall

Did you have any particular reasons for taking part /

What were your reasons for taking part

Did you have any expectations of the process /

How did these compare to the actual experience

How did you feel during the process

And immediately after it was over

How about now

Has it had an impact on your life in general

Why do you think that was

Was there anything about the process, experience, context or how you used your story that

stood out

Has it been useful

If so how

On reflection, how would sum up the experience

Pointers from theory

Pennebaker

Inhibition - Experience of disclosing feelings / sensitive information / personal info, opening

up

Cognition - Making sense, coming to terms with, looking back, different perspective, seeing

things in a new light, cognitive restructuring

Appendix 4 2

Social support - being able to talk about, being listened, listening to others, normalisation,

universality

Relating to group therapy

Shared experiences and feelings

Helping each other

Hope gained from seeing others overcoming difficulty

Imitating / learning from others eg. opening up, self efficacy

Catharsis – release of emotional distress thru’ free expression of emotion

Increased self awareness thru’ interaction with others

Self understanding – insight into own situation

Other factors

Public resource / potential audience

Group activity

Not explicitly therapeutic

Narrative approaches

Grief models

Appendix 5: Participant Debriefing sheet

An exploration of personal experiences of taking part in a digital storytelling project

An MSc Psychology Research Project

Thank you for taking part in this study and talking about your experience of digital storytelling. I hope that you have found the process interesting. After the interview you will have an opportunity to discuss your participation. This process is known as debriefing. It is an important part of the research process and helps to ensure that you do not leave with unanswered questions or concerns. There is a small risk that participation could bring up disturbing emotions. If this happens I’d encourage you to discuss this either with myself, Pip at Pilgrim Projects, or with someone else such as a family member, friend or health professional. You will have the right to withdraw at any stage of the process up until the interview and subsequent debriefing; and to withdraw all or part of the data arising from your interview up until 7 days after receipt of the transcript. I am planning to have the transcription complete by the end of June, and apologise for the delay. If you have questions, please contact me by email at mark.shea@student.shu.ac.uk or by phone on 0114 258 2319 or 07963 375 962. Or my supervisor Rachel Abbott on 225 5951or by email at R.L.Abbott@shu.ac.uk, or by post at Room 109, Department of Psychology, Southborne, Sheffield Hallam University, Collegiate Crescent Campus, Collegiate Crescent, Sheffield, S10 2BP. If your query relates to your digital story, please contact Pip Hardy at Pilgrim Projects, on 01954 202158, or by post at Pilgrim Projects, The Barn, 1, Corbett Street, Cottenham, Cambs, CB24 8QX or by email at pip@pilgrimprojects.co.uk Finally, thank you once again for your participation. It is very much appreciated. With best wishes, Mark Shea

Appendix 6: Summary of study findings for participants The current study set out to explore the experiences of seven people who took part in the Sheffield Carers Voices digital storytelling project. Semi-structured interviews were carried out and the data analysed to identify five common themes as follows: difficult life experiences motivated the participants to make a digital story so that others could learn from their experiences; the process was emotionally difficult; and was possible because of the supportive context; the storytelling process enabled them to positively reframe these difficult experiences; which has subsequently had a positive impact on their lives in general. The data revealed a wide range of personal experiences and complex processes within these broad themes. To reflect this, a broad range of theoretical perspectives were used to interpret the data. For example, narrative approaches were used to reflect the storytelling processes; grief theories to interpret how people deal with loss and trauma; theories on meaning-making to reflect how people make sense of life’s challenges; and theories on therapy and group work to reflect the context. Synthesising the above perspectives, the analysis suggests that the workshop provided a supportive context in which the participants were able to reflect on their past, present and future. This helped them to form a coherent story about difficult life events, and make sense of their traumatic experiences, perhaps for the first time. Being able to make sense of these difficult experiences helps them to understand other life experiences and has had a positive impact on their lives in general. Unfortunately, the current study has been unable to look in detail at many aspects of the participants’ experiences such as the sustainability of the benefits, the use of photos and the group context. In conclusion, all the participants talked positively about their experiences of digital storytelling and how they had subsequently benefitted. By contrast, they also found it a difficult experience and for several participants the benefits were relatively short lived. Many of the participants are more optimistic about their future as a result of the workshop. This digital storytelling workshop clearly provided a context for the participants to produce and share meaningful stories. Furthermore, the experience appears to have had a positive impact on their lives in general since the workshop and consequently warrants further investigation.

Appendix 7: Interview transcripts with coding and themes

Page number Interview transcript 1 Betty 9 Clare

19 James 34 Julie 44 Martin 59 Ruth 70 Tina

1

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nmen

t tha

t hel

ped

a lo

t eh

Pip

and

Tony

and

Jo th

ey w

ere

all

brill

iant

C

alm

surr

ound

ings

B

rillia

nt fa

cilit

ator

s Su

ppor

t fa

cilit

ator

s Su

ppor

tive

envi

ronm

ent

Supp

ort

5 In

t R

ight

goo

d

6 B

etty

Eh

h (.)

I st

rugg

led

with

the

tech

nolo

gy si

de o

bvio

usly

but

ther

e w

as th

e su

ppor

t the

re

Stru

ggle

d w

ith

tech

nolo

gy

Supp

ort

Cha

lleng

e Su

ppor

t Su

ppor

t

7 In

t M

mm

goo

d

8 B

etty

(la

ught

er)

9

Int

(laug

hter

) so

emm

(.) d

id y

ou h

ave

any

parti

cula

r rea

sons

for t

akin

g pa

rt?

10

B

etty

M

y m

ain

reas

on fo

r goi

ng in

was

(.) b

ecau

se o

f the

mis

take

s mad

e by

serv

ices

dur

ing

my

son’

s ca

re a

nd e

hh m

ore

than

I co

uld

actu

ally

put

into

the

inte

rvie

w

Wan

ted

serv

ices

to

lear

n fr

om m

ista

kes

with

son’

s car

e

Util

ity o

f sto

ry

impo

rtant

U

tility

of s

torie

s

11

Int

Ok

12

B

etty

B

ecau

se o

f the

m h

avin

g to

be

so sh

ort

13

In

t H

mm

14

Bet

ty

Err n

ot to

bla

me

anyo

ne b

ut th

at se

rvic

es w

ill le

arn

from

the

mis

take

s and

als

o to

hel

p ot

her c

arer

s an

d th

e pe

ople

they

car

e fo

r to

get a

bet

ter d

eal f

rom

this

D

idn’

t wan

t to

blam

e se

rvic

es

Wan

ted

to h

elp

serv

ices

im

prov

e

Util

ity o

f sto

ry

impo

rtant

U

tility

of s

torie

s

15

Int

Rig

ht o

k (.)

so it

was

just

to in

form

the

peop

le d

eliv

erin

g th

e se

rvic

es w

hat i

t was

real

ly li

ke

16

B

etty

W

hat i

t was

real

ly b

ecau

se (.

) the

y do

n’t k

now

(1) w

hat a

car

er g

oes t

hrou

gh (.

) a c

arer

doe

sn’t

chos

e to

car

e (.)

one

day

they

’re

just

an

ordi

nary

per

son

the

next

day

ban

g th

ere’

s bee

n a

cris

is a

nd

they

’ve

foun

d th

emse

lves

car

ing

for s

omeb

ody

(.) b

ut (.

) my

stor

y w

as b

ased

aro

und

the

first

in

cide

nt

Wan

ted

serv

ices

to

know

wha

t it’s

like

to

be a

car

er

Util

ity o

f sto

ry

impo

rtant

U

tility

of s

torie

s

17

Int

Rig

ht y

es

18

B

etty

W

ith m

y so

n (.)

and

(.) I

kno

w m

y so

n (.)

and

(.) w

hen

I tol

d se

rvic

es th

is a

nd th

at I

thou

ght h

e St

rain

of c

arer

C

halle

nge

of

Posi

tive

App

endi

x 7

2

shou

ld b

e in

hos

pita

l and

I w

as ju

st to

ld th

ey’d

com

e ba

ck th

e fo

llow

ing

day

and

then

he

wen

t w

alk

abou

t and

wer

e m

issi

ng a

ll ni

ght a

nd I

just

can

’t te

ll yo

u w

hat I

wen

t thr

ough

B

eing

igno

red

by

serv

ices

ca

ring

Voi

ce ig

nore

d re

fram

ing

19

Int

No

20

B

etty

B

ut (1

) tel

ling

my

stor

y (1

) has

mad

e m

e fe

el fr

ee

Telli

ng st

ory

mad

e m

e fe

el fr

ee -

liber

atin

g Li

bera

tion

Li

bera

tion

21

Int

Rig

ht o

k

22

Bet

ty

And

I ca

n go

into

furth

er d

etai

l if y

ou w

ant m

e to

abo

ut th

at

23

In

t Y

es

24

B

etty

W

hen

(.) a

long

way

dow

n th

e lin

e be

caus

e A

ndre

w d

idn’

t get

the

help

and

supp

ort t

hat h

e sh

ould

ha

ve d

one

and

I had

to g

o to

my

MP

to g

et it

and

eve

ntua

lly (.

) err

ear

ly in

terv

entio

n ca

me

alon

g bu

t thi

s was

a y

ear a

nd a

hal

f afte

r And

rew

had

bee

n ill

Hav

ing

to fi

ght t

o ge

t go

od se

rvic

es fo

r her

so

n

Cha

lleng

e of

ca

ring

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

25

Int

Rig

ht

26

B

etty

A

nd (.

) the

CPN

(.) i

nter

view

ed A

ndre

w in

the

kitc

hen

and

I was

take

n in

the

room

but

the

soci

al

wor

ker a

t my

hous

e

27

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

28

B

etty

A

nd w

e ha

d a

chat

and

I w

as a

sked

if I

had

any

guilt

feel

ings

and

I sa

id n

o be

caus

e I k

now

this

is

just

one

of t

he th

ings

that

hap

pens

and

it w

asn’

t ‘til

(.) I

was

ask

ed (.

) if I

wan

t wel

l was

I as

ked

if I

coul

d ta

ke p

hoto

grap

hs a

long

Look

ing

back

on

past

ev

ents

Lo

okin

g ba

ck

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

29

Int

Rig

ht

30

B

etty

I r

ealis

ed I

had

not l

ooke

d at

31

Int

Phot

ogra

phs o

f And

rew

32

Bet

ty

Whe

n I a

sked

And

rew

som

e he

put

on

one

side

but

he

let m

e ta

ke so

me

of w

hen

he w

as v

ery

youn

g w

here

he

wou

ldn’

t be

reco

gnis

able

and

I ha

dn’t

look

ed b

ack

on p

hoto

s of w

hen

he w

as

youn

ger i

n a

long

tim

e (.)

and

it d

idn’

t hit

me

until

afte

r the

pro

cess

was

fini

shed

(.) I

kne

w I’

d go

t th

is fr

eedo

m b

ut I

didn

’t kn

ow w

hy

Look

ing

back

at p

hoto

s Fo

und

som

e fr

eedo

m

But

did

n’t k

now

why

Look

ing

back

Li

bera

tion

Mys

tery

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g Li

bera

tion

33

Int

Rig

ht o

k

34

Bet

ty

And

it w

asn’

t ‘til

wee

ks la

ter t

hat I

real

ised

that

I ha

d be

en c

arry

ing

guilt

feel

ings

aro

und

with

me

Afte

r sev

eral

wee

ks

real

ised

that

she

had

been

car

ryin

g gu

ilt

feel

ings

Mys

tery

M

akin

g se

nse

of

past

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

35

Int

Rig

ht m

m m

m

36

B

etty

A

nd it

’s re

leas

ed m

e of

that

bec

ause

look

ing

back

on

my

on th

ose

phot

os o

f our

life

bec

ause

whe

n yo

u’re

a si

ngle

par

ent y

ou th

ink

have

I be

en to

o st

rict?

Hav

e I b

een

too

leni

ent?

Hav

e I e

rr c

ould

I ha

ve d

one

a lo

t bet

ter b

asic

ally

? A

nd (.

) I th

ink

I’d

burie

d th

ose

feel

ings

and

had

n’t d

ealt

with

th

em

Has

bee

n re

leas

ed fr

om

feel

ings

of g

uilt

Que

stio

ning

par

entin

g st

yle

Libe

ratio

n Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

Libe

ratio

n Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

37

Int

Rig

ht

38

B

etty

B

ut d

oing

that

mad

e m

e re

alis

e th

at a

nd I

felt

free

r tha

n I h

ave

in a

long

long

tim

e R

ealis

atio

n Fe

elin

g fr

ee

Libe

ratio

n Li

bera

tion

39

Int

Rig

ht a

nd w

as th

at th

roug

h ba

sic

wel

l obv

ious

ly y

ou sa

y yo

u ha

d to

revi

sit t

he p

hoto

s

40

Bet

ty

Yes

H

ad to

revi

sit p

ast

Look

ing

back

Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

App

endi

x 7

3

41

Int

Abo

ut th

e ex

perie

nce

and

so m

aybe

goi

ng th

roug

h th

e fe

elin

gs a

gain

42

Bet

ty

That

’s ri

ght

Rev

isiti

ng o

ld fe

elin

gs

Look

ing

back

O

ld fe

elin

gs

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g 43

In

t So

meh

ow

44

B

etty

Y

ep (.

) and

just

look

ing

back

and

real

ise

it ha

dn’t

(.) b

ecau

se o

nce

you

beco

me

a ca

rer y

ou

conc

entra

te o

n th

e he

re a

nd n

ow

Not

had

a c

hanc

e to

lo

ok b

ack

on p

ast

As a

car

er n

eede

d to

fo

cus o

n pr

esen

t

Rar

e op

portu

nity

N

orm

ally

focu

s on

pre

sent

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

45

Int

Mm

46

Bet

ty

And

you

’re

getti

ng o

n w

ith th

e da

y to

day

livi

ng o

f thi

ngs

47

In

t M

m

48

B

etty

A

nd a

ll yo

u’ve

got

is th

is c

hang

ed p

erso

n (.)

and

you

don

’t th

ink

back

(.) t

o th

e go

od ti

mes

you

ha

d yo

u st

art t

earin

g yo

urse

lf up

ove

r the

tim

es y

ou p

erha

ps th

ink

ohh

was

I bi

t a b

it to

o er

r I c

an

rem

embe

r And

rew

goi

ng m

issi

ng h

e sh

ould

hav

e be

en h

ome

at a

cer

tain

tim

e an

d he

was

n’t

Not

look

ed b

ack

to th

e go

od ti

mes

bef

ore

But

had

que

stio

ned

how

sh

e’d

brou

ght u

p A

ndre

w

Look

ing

back

Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

Form

er d

oubt

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

49

Int

Rig

ht

50

B

etty

A

nd p

laye

d po

p w

ith h

im a

nd se

nt h

im to

his

bed

room

and

you

star

t thi

nkin

g

51

Int

This

is w

hen

he w

as y

oung

52

Bet

ty

This

was

whe

n he

was

you

ng y

ou st

art t

hink

ing

was

I to

o ha

rsh

you

know

all

sort

of th

ings

star

t co

min

g in

to y

our m

ind

and

then

whe

n I l

ook

back

and

thro

ugh

the

holid

ay p

hoto

s and

that

Th

ough

t tha

t she

mig

ht

have

bee

n to

o ha

rsh

with

And

rew

B

ut n

ow lo

oked

bac

k on

hol

iday

pho

tos –

m

ore

bala

nced

vie

w

Look

ing

back

Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

Form

er d

oubt

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

53

Int

Rig

ht

54

B

etty

A

nd y

eah

you

thin

k ye

ah w

e ha

d a

lot o

f goo

d tim

es

Rea

lises

they

had

a lo

t of

goo

d tim

es

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

55

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

goo

d go

od e

rm so

did

you

hav

e an

y ex

pect

atio

ns o

f the

pro

cess

?

56

Bet

ty

No

I did

n’t k

now

hon

estly

wha

t to

expe

ct

57

In

t R

ight

ok

58

B

etty

N

o I d

idn’

t kno

w w

hat t

o ex

pect

it w

as u

nkno

wn

terr

itory

for m

e bu

t I th

ough

t if t

his c

an h

elp

anyb

ody

in a

ny w

ay I’

m ju

st g

oing

to g

o fo

r it a

nd I’

m g

oing

to sa

y ye

s stra

ight

aw

ay b

ecau

se I

know

whe

n I c

omm

it m

ysel

f tha

t’s it

(.) i

f I h

esita

te th

at’s

whe

n do

ubt s

tarts

cre

epin

g in

and

so I

go o

n m

y fir

st in

stin

cts

Did

n’t k

now

wha

t to

expe

ct

Firs

t ins

tinct

was

to sa

y ye

s to

proc

ess

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

r pe

ople

Few

exp

ecta

tions

U

tility

of s

torie

s im

porta

nt

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

59

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

do

you

thin

k er

m (.

) bec

ause

you

wen

t rea

lly d

oing

it fo

r oth

er p

eopl

e as

it w

ere

rath

er

than

exp

ectin

g to

get

som

e be

nefit

from

it y

ours

elf d

o yo

u th

ink

that

affe

cted

the

proc

ess a

t all

(.)

do y

ou se

e w

hat I

mea

n? (1

) rat

her t

han

if yo

u go

ne so

rt of

say

wel

l act

ually

this

is a

thre

e da

y

App

endi

x 7

4

wor

ksho

p it’

ll gi

ve m

e a

chan

ce to

mak

e so

me

mor

e se

nse

over

of i

t 60

B

etty

Y

eah

I thi

nk y

eah

I thi

nk it

did

I th

ink

I was

real

ly su

rpris

ed (.

) at t

he fe

elin

g of

free

dom

I go

t and

I t

hink

bec

ause

(.) I

thou

ght w

ell I

’m ju

st g

oing

alo

ng to

hel

p ot

her p

eopl

e an

d le

t ser

vice

s see

In

volv

ed to

hel

p ot

her

peop

le

Surp

rised

at f

eelin

g of

fr

eedo

m sh

e go

t fro

m

proc

ess

Few

exp

ecta

tions

U

tility

of s

torie

s im

porta

nt

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

Libe

ratio

n

61

Int

Mm

mm

62

Bet

ty

The

mis

take

s tha

t can

be

mad

e an

d I d

on’t

thin

k I r

eally

exp

ecte

d to

gai

n fr

om it

mys

elf a

lthou

gh I

knew

oth

er p

eopl

e ha

d w

ho’d

don

e it

prev

ious

ly

Did

n’t e

xpec

t to

gain

fr

om p

roce

ss

Did

n’t e

xpec

t to

bene

fit

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

63

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

64

B

etty

Y

ou k

now

cos

as I

say

I did

n’t k

now

I w

as c

arry

ing

thos

e gu

ilt fe

elin

gs I

thou

ght I

’d d

ealt

with

it

Did

n’t k

now

she

was

ca

rryi

ng g

uilt

feel

ings

Th

ough

t she

’d d

ealt

with

them

Surp

rised

by

hidd

en e

mot

ions

Li

bera

tion

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

65

Int

Mm

mm

(.) e

rm d

o yo

u th

ink

muc

h ha

s cha

nged

sinc

e yo

u di

d th

e w

orks

hop?

You

say

it w

as v

ery

emot

iona

l at t

he ti

me

and

did

you

say

you

felt

free

afte

r the

wor

ksho

p

66

Bet

ty

Afte

r

67

Int

Or m

aybe

seve

ral w

eeks

late

r rea

lised

68

Bet

ty

Yea

h w

hy

69

In

t W

hy

70

B

etty

I t

houg

ht I

got t

he im

med

iate

feel

ing

afte

r we’

d ta

ken

the

phot

ogra

phs t

hat n

ight

(.) I

wok

e up

in

the

early

hou

rs a

nd g

ot th

is fe

elin

g of

joy

and

of fr

eedo

m

Wok

e up

ear

ly m

orni

ng

with

feel

ing

of jo

y an

d fr

eedo

m

Libe

ratio

n Li

bera

tion

71

Int

Rig

ht o

k

72

Bet

ty

Err I

wok

e up

I th

ink

it w

as a

bout

3 o

’clo

ck in

the

mor

ning

I ju

st fe

lt gr

eat

Felt

grea

t Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Li

bera

tion

73

Int

Was

that

afte

r the

firs

t day

74

Bet

ty

That

was

afte

r the

pho

tos a

fter w

e’d

took

the

phot

os th

at w

as la

ter o

n th

at w

as a

bout

was

it th

e se

cond

day

75

Int

May

be it

was

the

seco

nd

76

B

etty

I t

hink

it w

as th

e se

cond

77

Int

It pr

obab

ly w

ould

be

the

seco

nd I’

d ha

ve th

ough

t

78

Bet

ty

The

seco

nd y

eah

79

In

t R

ight

ok

80

B

etty

A

nd e

rr (.

) yea

h th

at’s

whe

n I j

ust w

oke

up w

ith th

is fe

elin

g of

joy

and

free

dom

in e

arly

hou

rs o

f th

e m

orni

ng (.

) and

got

stra

ight

bac

k to

slee

p yo

u kn

ow

Feel

ing

of jo

y an

d fr

eedo

m

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Libe

ratio

n

81

Int

Hm

m h

mm

82

Bet

ty

And

wok

e up

and

the

feel

ings

wer

e st

ill th

ere

but i

t was

like

I sa

y it

took

me

a go

od fe

w w

eeks

to

real

ise

why

Fe

elin

gs o

f joy

and

fr

eedo

m

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Libe

ratio

n

83

Int

Rig

ht (.

) and

sinc

e th

en h

as m

uch

chan

ged?

84

Bet

ty

No

I mea

n ap

art f

rom

the

fact

that

I fe

el y

ou k

now

I’ve

still

got

that

feel

ing

of fr

eedo

m

Still

has

feel

ing

of

free

dom

now

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Li

bera

tion

App

endi

x 7

5

85

Int

Rig

ht th

at’s

goo

d

86

Bet

ty

I’m

not

car

ryin

g an

y gu

ilt fe

elin

gs a

roun

d w

ith m

e or

any

thin

g so

yea

h it’

s goo

d N

o lo

nger

car

ryin

g fe

elin

gs o

f gui

lt It’

s goo

d

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Libe

ratio

n

87

Int

Gre

at (.

) do

you

thin

k er

m (1

) the

fact

that

you

wer

e in

an

envi

ronm

ent w

here

as y

ou sa

id y

ours

elf

othe

r peo

ple

wer

e ta

lkin

g ab

out y

our k

now

ver

y di

ffic

ult l

ife e

xper

ienc

es so

me

very

you

kno

w

very

mov

ing

88

Bet

ty

Yes

89

Int

You

use

d th

e te

rm h

eart

rend

ing

expe

rienc

es (.

) do

you

thin

k ho

w th

at h

ow th

at h

ow d

o yo

u th

ink

that

affe

cted

you

?

90

Bet

ty

Wel

l I th

ink

beca

use

we

wer

e so

rt of

(.) a

lthou

gh w

e’d

all g

ot d

iffer

ent e

xper

ienc

es w

e w

ere

sort

of in

the

sam

e si

tuat

ion

in a

way

and

it m

ade

it ea

sier

to ta

lk a

nd k

now

ing

that

you

was

n’t t

he o

nly

one

who

was

bei

ng e

mot

iona

l and

it fe

lt a

very

safe

pla

ce to

be

All

in th

e sa

me

situ

atio

n M

ade

it ea

sier

to ta

lk

Felt

very

safe

Supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Abl

e to

be

open

Fe

lt sa

fe

Supp

ort

91

Int

Hm

m h

mm

goo

d go

od (.

) you

wer

e fu

ll of

pra

ise

for P

ip T

ony

and

Jo

92

B

etty

Y

es

Full

of p

rais

e fo

r fa

cilit

ator

s V

ery

supp

ortiv

e fa

cilit

atio

n Su

ppor

t

93

Int

Can

you

thin

k of

any

thin

g th

at th

ey (.

) tha

t the

y di

d I m

ean

you

mig

ht n

ot b

e ab

le to

ans

wer

this

qu

estio

n be

caus

e I t

hink

ther

e’s i

s jus

t som

ethi

ng a

bout

the

way

they

wer

e ra

ther

than

wha

t the

y di

d

94

Bet

ty

I thi

nk it

’s th

e w

ay th

ey w

ere

but t

hey’

re v

ery

sens

itive

Fa

cilit

ator

s wer

e ve

ry

sens

itive

V

ery

supp

ortiv

e fa

cilit

atio

n Su

ppor

t

95

Int

Rig

ht

96

B

etty

A

nd v

ery

gent

le e

rr b

ut v

ery

good

at d

raw

ing

out w

hat y

ou w

ant t

o sa

y bu

t not

put

ting

wor

ds in

to

your

mou

th

Ver

y ge

ntle

faci

litat

ion

Gav

e yo

u fr

eedo

m to

ex

pres

s you

rsel

f

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Supp

ort

97

Int

Rig

ht o

k go

od g

ood

erm

98

Bet

ty

But

ver

y ex

perie

nced

and

you

kno

w it

’s th

e ca

re (.

) you

kno

w im

med

iate

ly th

at th

ey re

ally

car

e ab

out p

eopl

e V

ery

expe

rienc

ed

faci

litat

ion

Faci

litat

ors r

eally

car

ed

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Supp

ort

99

Int

Rig

ht o

k th

at c

omes

thro

ugh

10

0 B

etty

Y

eah

10

1 In

t G

ood

good

(1) s

o ba

sica

lly it

’s h

ad a

pos

itive

effe

ct w

hich

is st

ill p

ersi

stin

g to

this

day

has

it k

ind

of (.

) hav

e th

ose

erm

(1) h

as th

at k

ind

of e

ffect

(.) w

hat I

’m tr

ying

to g

et a

t is h

ow e

rm (.

) how

it

mig

ht h

ave

affe

ct o

n yo

ur li

fe o

n th

e w

ider

asp

ects

of y

our l

ife th

is fe

elin

g of

rele

ase

Posi

tive

effe

ct h

as

endu

red

Posi

tive

impa

ct

102

Bet

ty

Err I

thin

k (.)

now

I ca

n (.)

like

(.) w

hen

I wen

t out

(.) I

use

d to

feel

a b

it gu

ilty

som

etim

es y

ou

know

but

now

I do

n’t

Doe

sn’t

feel

gui

lty

whe

n sh

e go

es o

ut

Rel

ease

d fr

om

feel

ings

of g

uilty

Li

bera

tion

103

Int

You

mea

n w

hen

you

left

the

hous

e

104

Bet

ty

Yea

h ha

ving

tim

e fo

r mys

elf

Doe

sn’t

feel

gui

lty

havi

ng ti

me

for h

erse

lf R

elea

sed

from

fe

elin

gs o

f gui

lty

Libe

ratio

n

105

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

App

endi

x 7

6

106

Bet

ty

But

now

I fe

el fi

ne a

bout

it (.

) and

I kn

ow it

’s n

eces

sary

for m

e as

wel

l Fe

els f

ine

abou

t tak

ing

time

for h

erse

lf R

elea

sed

from

fe

elin

gs o

f gui

lty

Libe

ratio

n

107

Int

Hm

m h

mm

(.) g

ood

good

(3) s

o yo

u ta

lk a

bit

abou

t how

(2) i

n pr

epar

ing

for t

he w

orks

hop

in

prep

arin

g yo

ur st

ory

you

look

ed b

ack

at p

hoto

s so

did

that

pro

cess

hel

p yo

u to

kin

d of

com

e to

a

diffe

rent

und

erst

andi

ng o

r a d

iffer

ent s

ee th

ings

in a

diff

eren

t lig

ht p

erha

ps?

Seei

ng p

ast d

iffer

ently

Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g

108

Bet

ty

Wel

l I th

ink

it m

ade

me

real

ise

that

(.) I

’ve

had

to b

e st

rong

ove

r the

yea

rs a

s a si

ngle

par

ent (

.) an

d I (

.) I m

ean

as y

ou k

now

I’ve

got

thre

e ch

ildre

n to

my

ex-h

usba

nd (.

) I m

et A

ndre

w’s

fath

er (.

) and

on

the

day

he w

as d

ue to

go

back

to h

is o

wn

hous

e (in

audi

ble)

I to

ld h

im a

bout

his

gam

blin

g an

d he

had

a b

reak

dow

n an

d it

was

onl

y th

en th

at

Rea

lised

that

she’

s had

to

be

stro

ng a

s a si

ngle

pa

rent

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

109

Int

Rig

ht

11

0 B

etty

O

nly

then

that

I fo

und

he’d

got

a h

isto

ry o

f men

tal i

llnes

s him

self

11

1 In

t R

ight

112

Bet

ty

But

I us

ed to

take

them

aw

ay o

n ho

liday

s mys

elf a

nd I

used

to h

aulin

g al

l lug

gage

trav

ellin

g on

the

coac

h yo

u kn

ow a

nd w

alki

ng ju

st m

anag

ing

it al

l (.)

peop

le u

sed

to sa

y yo

u’re

a st

rong

per

son

and

I nev

er u

sed

to b

elie

ve th

em

113

Int

Ok

ok

11

4 B

etty

B

ut lo

okin

g ba

ck I

mus

t hav

e ha

d to

be

pret

ty st

rong

and

that

rein

forc

ed th

at fo

r me

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g of

se

lf vi

ew b

ased

on

past

ev

ents

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

115

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

so ri

ght

11

6 B

etty

A

nd so

it g

ave

me

a bi

t mor

e se

lf be

lief a

ctua

lly

Gav

e m

e m

ore

self

belie

f Im

prov

ed se

lf be

lief

Libe

ratio

n

117

Int

Rig

ht o

k (.)

so it

’s q

uite

sign

ifica

nt th

en w

ell y

eah

11

8 B

etty

C

os w

ell (

.) yo

u kn

ow I

just

took

them

all

over

(.) l

ike

I mad

e su

re th

ey g

ot o

n ho

liday

eve

ry to

ei

ther

Ske

gnes

s or S

carb

orou

gh

119

Int

Rig

ht o

k

120

Bet

ty

In a

car

avan

hol

iday

you

kno

w b

ut a

t lea

st w

e go

t aw

ay

12

1 In

t Y

eah

yeah

122

Bet

ty

And

they

got

the

brea

k th

ey n

eede

d

123

Int

Hm

m h

mm

(.) s

o er

m h

uhh

you

mig

ht n

ot b

e ab

le to

ans

wer

this

but

erm

a b

ig p

art o

f you

r m

otiv

atio

n w

as tr

ying

to te

ll yo

ur st

ory

so th

at it

can

hel

p ot

her y

ou k

now

oth

er p

eopl

e

124

Bet

ty

Hm

m

12

5 In

t D

o yo

u w

heth

er th

at’s

hap

pene

d?

12

6 B

etty

I d

on’t

know

cos

I ha

ven’

t had

any

feed

back

127

Int

Oh

ok

12

8 B

etty

I d

on’t

know

whe

ther

any

body

’s se

en th

e st

ory

err I

hav

en’t

had

any

feed

back

abo

ut th

at

12

9 In

t O

k

130

Bet

ty

I do

know

we

had

that

pre

sent

atio

n

131

Int

Yea

h ye

ah th

e la

unch

eve

nt

13

2 B

etty

Th

e la

unch

eve

nt b

ut a

part

from

that

I do

n’t w

heth

er it

’s b

een

used

or w

heth

er

13

3 In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

beca

use

I kno

w I

don’

t kno

w a

bout

all

the

stor

ies I

kno

w R

ethi

nk h

ave

used

som

e of

App

endi

x 7

7

the

stor

ies i

n th

eir t

rain

ing

and

I kno

w L

yn u

sed

her s

tory

in a

pat

ient

safe

ty th

ing

(.) it

’s

som

ethi

ng m

ean

to lo

ok in

to b

ut e

rr

134

Bet

ty

I wou

ld b

e ni

ce to

kno

w th

at it

had

bee

n us

ed th

at so

meb

ody

had

bene

fitte

d fr

om it

W

ould

be

nice

to k

now

th

at st

orie

s wer

e be

ing

used

and

that

peo

ple

bene

fited

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

impo

rtant

U

tility

of s

torie

s

135

Int

I’m

sure

it h

as w

ell w

e ha

d th

e la

unch

and

you

kno

w o

bvio

usly

I’m

no

long

er in

that

job

but

thro

ugh

the

laun

ch e

vent

and

act

ually

pro

duci

ng C

Ds w

hich

can

be

sent

out

to so

that

som

ethi

ng I

kind

of n

eed

to fo

llow

up

on

136

Bet

ty

Bec

ause

I m

ean

Lyn’

s sto

ry w

as h

orrif

ic w

ith th

e br

eakd

own

betw

een

(.) y

ou k

now

var

ious

se

rvic

es b

ut (.

) if l

ike

me

you’

re n

ew in

to m

enta

l hea

lth a

s a c

arer

it’s

crit

ical

that

(.) t

hey

act

corr

ectly

the

first

tim

e

137

Int

Hm

m m

m

13

8 B

etty

Er

r par

ticul

arly

whe

n a

pers

on is

not

kno

wn

to th

em a

nd th

ey sh

ould

take

not

ice

of th

e ca

rer c

os

the

care

r kno

ws t

hat p

erso

n be

st

139

Int

Hm

m m

m m

m y

eah

so a

nd I

thin

k w

ith th

e st

orie

s bei

ng o

n th

e w

ebsi

te p

eopl

e w

ill lo

ok a

t the

m

14

0 B

etty

M

mm

141

Int

Bec

ause

you

do

know

they

go

on th

e w

ebsi

te p

artic

ular

ly w

ith e

mm

wel

l you

mig

ht n

ot k

now

ac

tual

ly b

ut P

ip a

nd T

ony

won

an

awar

d

142

Bet

ty

I kno

w th

ey w

ere

up fo

r one

143

Int

The

BM

J aw

ard

14

4 B

etty

D

id th

ey w

in it

145

Int

Yes

146

Bet

ty

Ohh

bril

liant

I’m

real

ly I

won

dere

d I k

ept w

onde

ring

how

they

’d g

one

on c

os sh

e sa

id a

nybo

dy’s

w

elco

me

to c

ome

who

wan

ts to

but

I di

dn’t

fanc

y go

ing

dow

n to

Lon

don

on m

y ow

n an

d no

one

el

se w

as g

oing

as f

ar a

s I k

now

147

Int

Yea

h ye

ah so

that

giv

es th

em y

ou k

now

that

’s o

bvio

usly

a v

ery

high

pro

file

pres

tigio

us a

war

d so

m

ore

peop

le w

ill lo

ok a

t the

web

site

and

will

look

at t

he st

orie

s

148

Bet

ty

Ohh

I’m

real

ly p

leas

e th

ey g

ot it

yea

h th

ey d

eser

ve to

Fa

cilit

ator

s des

erve

d to

w

in a

war

d V

ery

supp

ortiv

e fa

cilit

atio

n Su

ppor

t

149

Int

Yea

h an

d I k

now

erm

on

the

back

of w

hat L

yn d

id (.

) at t

he p

atie

nt sa

fety

ther

e w

as so

meb

ody

from

the

depa

rtmen

t of h

ealth

who

you

kno

w w

as re

ally

impr

esse

d w

ith th

e st

orie

s and

says

can

I us

e th

ese

stor

ies

150

Bet

ty

Yea

h go

od

15

1 In

t So

yes

(.) s

o ge

nera

lly y

ou fe

el a

lot b

ette

r (la

ught

er)

15

2 B

etty

Y

es I

do (l

augh

ter)

G

ener

ally

feel

s a lo

t be

tter n

ow

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Libe

ratio

n

153

Int

and

hope

fully

the

stor

ies a

re b

eing

use

d yo

u fe

el it

was

a v

ery

supp

ortiv

e en

viro

nmen

t tha

t tha

t yo

u w

ere

in e

rm (.

) so

all v

ery

posi

tive

real

ly a

re th

ere

any

kind

of n

egat

ive

thin

gs a

bout

it

154

Bet

ty

I don

’t th

ink

ther

e ar

e ac

tual

ly (.

) no

I did

n’t f

ind

I cou

ldn’

t fin

d an

ythi

ng n

egat

ive

abou

t it

No

nega

tives

G

ood

expe

rienc

e Li

bera

tion

155

Int

Rig

ht (l

augh

ter)

App

endi

x 7

8

156

Bet

ty

(Lau

ghte

r) y

ou k

now

me

I’d

have

spok

en a

bout

it (l

augh

ter)

any

thin

g ne

gativ

e

157

Int

Yea

h ye

ah so

erm

that

’s re

ally

(.) w

e’ve

cov

ered

an

awfu

l lot

ther

e an

d m

any

of th

e th

ings

you

’ve

said

hav

e be

en re

ally

real

ly q

uite

per

tinen

t and

ver

y re

leva

nt is

ther

e an

ythi

ng e

lse

that

com

es to

m

ind

158

Bet

ty

No

the

only

thin

g is

I w

ould

enc

oura

ge a

nybo

dy w

ho g

ot th

e ch

ance

to d

o it

Wou

ld e

ncou

rage

oth

er

to d

o a

stor

y

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

Libe

ratio

n

159

Int

Hm

m h

mm

160

Bet

ty

It’s r

eally

wor

th d

oing

R

eally

wor

th d

oing

G

ood

expe

rienc

e Li

bera

tion

161

Int

Yea

h ye

ah I

supp

ose

one

of th

e ot

her t

hing

s abo

ut it

is (.

) is t

he w

ay th

at it

com

bine

s the

se

diffe

rent

thin

gs (.

) you

’ve

kind

of g

ot p

eopl

e ge

tting

toge

ther

in a

gro

up su

ppor

ting

each

oth

er

shar

ing

eith

er si

mila

r sto

ries o

r sim

ilar s

ort o

f em

otio

nal c

onte

nt a

nd th

en y

ou’v

e go

t the

kin

d of

th

e m

ain

the

writ

ing

your

ow

n st

ory

prod

ucin

g th

at a

nd th

e di

gita

l sid

e of

thin

gs p

rodu

cing

so

met

hing

that

you

can

show

162

Bet

ty

And

we

all b

onde

d in

the

grou

p A

ll bo

nded

as a

gro

up

Supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Libe

ratio

n 16

3 In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

16

4 B

etty

W

hich

was

goo

d th

ere

was

that

bon

d be

twee

n al

l of u

s you

kno

w

Gro

up su

ppor

t Su

ppor

tive

grou

p Li

bera

tion

165

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k ye

ah w

ell I

thin

k th

at is

impo

rtant

so (.

) hav

e yo

u us

ed y

our s

tory

hav

e yo

u sh

own

it to

fam

ily o

r

166

Bet

ty

I sho

wn

it to

peo

ple

err w

ell o

ur c

urat

es se

en it

at c

hurc

h an

d tw

o or

thre

e fr

iend

s and

(.) i

n fa

ct I

wro

te so

me

note

s dow

n ab

out i

t but

unf

ortu

nate

ly I

have

n’t g

ot th

em in

this

bag

Sh

own

it to

cur

ate

at

chur

ch a

nd a

few

fr

iend

s

Hel

ped

her t

o sh

are

stor

y Su

ppor

t

167

Int

Abo

ut th

eir r

espo

nse

to it

168

Bet

ty

Wha

t the

y th

ough

t yea

h an

d ho

w it

’s m

oved

them

Th

ey fo

und

it m

ovin

g U

tility

of s

torie

s U

tility

of s

torie

s 16

9 In

t Y

eah

17

0 B

etty

Er

r it e

rr (.

) wel

l the

cur

ate

it m

ade

her c

ry w

hen

I sai

d th

e on

ly ti

me

I can

real

ly re

lax

is w

hen

I ge

t aw

ay fr

om h

ome

that

mad

e he

r cry

O

ther

s fou

nd st

ory

mov

ing

Pow

er o

f sto

ry

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

171

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

17

2 B

etty

Er

r (.)

and

they

wer

e al

l agh

ast t

hat s

ervi

ces c

ould

wro

ng li

ke th

ey d

id

Oth

ers s

hock

ed b

y st

ory

Pow

er o

f sto

ry

Util

ity o

f sto

ries

173

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght y

eah

has i

t hel

ped

you

to (.

) kin

d of

shar

e yo

ur st

ory

in o

ther

way

s (.)

just

may

be b

eing

m

ore

open

abo

ut w

hat’s

hap

peni

ng

174

Bet

ty

Oh

a lo

t mor

e op

en a

bout

wha

t hap

pens

with

in in

men

tal h

ealth

I do

n’t h

esita

te to

say

I’m

a c

arer

fo

r som

eone

’s w

ho’s

men

tally

ill

Hel

ped

her t

o be

mor

e op

en a

bout

men

tal

heal

th a

nd se

rvic

es

Impr

oved

self

conf

iden

ce

Libe

ratio

n

175

Int

And

has

that

cha

nged

bec

ause

you

’re

obvi

ousl

y ve

ry in

volv

ed in

176

Bet

ty

Yea

h it

has c

hang

ed in

that

(.) e

rr (.

) at o

ne ti

me

if pe

ople

had

com

e ba

ck w

ith so

met

hing

neg

ativ

e I w

ould

hav

e ju

st sh

ut u

p

177

Int

Rig

ht

17

8 B

etty

A

nd I

chal

leng

e th

at n

ow a

nd sa

y it

coul

d ha

ppen

to a

nyon

e M

ore

conf

iden

t to

chal

leng

e ot

her p

eopl

e re

thei

r opi

nion

s on

men

tal i

llnes

s

Impr

oved

self

conf

iden

ce

Libe

ratio

n

App

endi

x 7

9

179

Int

Ok

ok if

they

wer

e be

ing

nega

tive

abou

t And

rew

180

Bet

ty

Yea

h be

caus

e th

e st

igm

a is

still

ther

e

181

Int

Mm

mm

oh

yes y

eah

yeah

and

it so

unds

like

you

’re

tack

ling

it on

an

indi

vidu

al b

asis

182

Bet

ty

So w

hen

anyb

ody

talk

s abo

ut a

nybo

dy w

hose

men

tally

ill c

os th

ey’v

e se

en so

met

hing

in a

pr

ogra

mm

e

183

Int

Rig

ht o

k

184

Bet

ty

I say

yes

but

that

’s m

edia

exp

loita

tion

and

ther

e’s t

hous

ands

who

are

men

tally

ill a

nd th

ey g

o ou

t an

d th

ey d

o an

ybod

y an

y ha

rm

Mor

e co

nfid

ent /

as

serti

ve re

. tac

klin

g st

igm

a

Impr

oved

self

conf

iden

ce

Libe

ratio

n

185

Int

Yes

yea

h ye

ah (1

) so

over

all q

uite

a e

rr q

uite

a tr

ansf

orm

ativ

e pr

oces

s

186

Bet

ty

Yes

yes

Tr

ansf

orm

ativ

e pr

oces

s Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Li

bera

tion

187

Int

Ok

does

that

cov

er e

very

thin

g?

18

8 B

etty

I t

hink

it d

oes d

oesn

’t it?

(lau

ghte

r) I

thin

k it

does

mar

k. I

can’

t thi

nk o

f any

thin

g el

se

18

9 In

t R

ight

190

Bet

ty

Just

that

it’d

be

nice

to k

eep

in to

uch

with

them

eve

ryon

e at

som

e po

int e

rr I

know

Pip

and

Ton

y ar

e ho

ping

ther

e m

ight

be

a re

unio

n co

s the

re is

that

bon

d W

ould

be

nice

to k

eep

in to

uch

with

gro

up a

nd

faci

litat

ors

191

Int

Yes

it’s

som

ethi

ng th

at e

rm

19

2 B

etty

A

nd w

ere

not v

ery

none

of u

s bec

ause

we’

re so

bus

y ar

e go

ing

to k

eep

in to

uch

with

one

ano

ther

yo

u k

now

N

ot k

ept i

n to

uch

193

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

19

4 B

etty

W

ell a

fter c

os th

ere

is ju

st so

muc

h ha

ppen

ing

in li

fe

19

5 In

t Y

eah

it’s d

iffic

ult t

o m

ake

that

ext

ra ti

me

19

6 B

etty

Y

eah

it is

197

Int

Cos

I kn

ow it

’s so

met

hing

that

Tin

a sa

id y

ou k

now

the

thin

gs sh

e sa

id (1

) with

you

rsel

f Lyn

and

he

r tha

t you

wer

e ve

ry su

ppor

tive

of e

ach

othe

r and

err

198

Bet

ty

Yes

we

wer

e V

ery

supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

grou

p Su

ppor

t

199

Int

Cos

in so

me

way

s you

r circ

umst

ance

s are

wel

l I g

uess

you

’ve

all c

ared

or b

een

carin

g fo

r

200

Bet

ty

Yes

I th

ink

we’

ve a

ll ca

red

for o

ur so

ns b

asic

ally

yea

h

201

Int

Yes

ok

I’ll

stop

ther

e (.)

than

k yo

u

Cla

re tr

ansc

ript

ana

lysi

s

Sec

tion

Firs

t ord

er c

odin

g Se

cond

ord

er

codi

ng

Inte

rvie

w th

emes

1 In

t So

bas

ical

ly th

e fir

st q

uest

ion

is h

ow d

id y

ou fi

nd th

e pr

oces

s ove

rall?

2 C

lare

O

hh (l

augh

ter)

3 In

t (la

ught

er) T

here

are

mor

e sp

ecifi

c qu

estio

ns la

ter b

ut th

at ju

st a

gen

eral

one

App

endi

x 7

10

4 C

lare

Er

m I

thin

k it

was

one

of t

he b

est t

hing

s I’v

e ev

er d

one

in m

y lif

e (.)

it’s

one

of t

he b

est (

.) ru

n or

gani

sed

supp

orte

d gr

oups

I’ve

eve

r bee

n in

(1) t

hey

wer

e ve

ry v

ery

umm

(.) c

onsc

ient

ious

abo

ut

how

peo

ple

felt

(.) th

ey w

ere

very

hig

hly

prof

essi

onal

abo

ut w

hat t

hey

wer

e do

ing

and

yet v

ery

appr

oach

able

peo

ple

that

ran

it so

ove

rall

it w

as ju

st b

rillia

nt re

ally

(.) a

goo

d ex

perie

nce

One

of t

he b

est t

hing

s I’

ve e

ver d

one

Exce

llent

faci

litat

ion

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

Bril

liant

exp

erie

nce

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t V

ery

good

ex

perie

nce

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

5 In

t R

ight

that

’s g

reat

(.) s

o er

m (1

) wha

t wer

e yo

ur re

ason

s for

taki

ng p

art i

n it?

6 C

lare

Er

m (.

) gos

h (2

) cos

you

ask

ed u

s (la

ught

er)

7

Int

(laug

hter

) bec

ause

I as

ked

you

too

8

Cla

re

No

beca

use

it so

unde

d lik

e a

very

goo

d id

ea y

ou to

ld m

e ab

out t

he p

atie

nt v

oice

s web

site

I re

ad

som

e th

ings

on

ther

e er

m a

nd th

en y

ou sa

id y

ou w

ere

look

ing

for m

oney

to d

o it

and

I sai

d I’

d de

finite

ly b

e in

tere

sted

(.) w

hy I

did

it I s

uppo

se e

rm (1

) I th

ink

I thi

nk I

just

kne

w a

t tha

t sta

ge

that

so m

any

thin

gs h

ad g

one

wro

ng w

ith Jo

e’s l

ife a

nd h

is d

eath

and

his

exp

erie

nce

of e

rr e

rr th

e ps

ychi

atric

(1) e

rr se

rvic

e (.)

that

I w

ante

d to

(.) u

npic

k it

all a

nd g

et it

toge

ther

and

err

and

I’d

got

back

repl

ies t

o m

y le

tters

of c

ompl

aint

and

stuf

f lik

e th

at a

nd (.

) I ju

st th

ough

t wel

l (.)

I nee

d to

go

som

ewhe

re e

lse

with

this

bec

ause

I to

ok th

e ro

ute

of n

ot b

lam

ing

any

parti

cula

r per

son

for w

hat

wen

t wro

ng b

ut (.

) to

say

(.) th

at le

sson

s nee

ded

to b

e le

arnt

so th

en h

avin

g be

en p

art o

f the

Sh

effie

ld H

ealth

and

Soc

ial C

are

(.) p

atie

nt fo

rum

or u

ser c

arer

foru

m I

then

wen

t on

to st

and

as

gove

rnor

and

cho

se th

at ro

ute

to d

o so

met

hing

abo

ut it

Wan

ted

to u

npic

k ci

rcum

stan

ces

surr

ound

ing

Joe’

s dea

th

Wan

ted

MH

serv

ices

to

lear

n fr

om Jo

e’s d

eath

Wan

ted

to m

ake

sens

e of

the

past

W

ante

d ot

hers

to

lear

n fr

om

mis

take

s

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e St

ory

bein

g us

ed

9 In

t H

mm

hm

m

10

C

lare

A

nd it

’s a

s par

t of t

hat t

hat I

end

ed u

p be

ing

on y

our

11

In

t Y

eah

yeah

12

Cla

re

In y

our m

eetin

gs w

hen

you

wer

e th

ere

and

doin

g it

and

it ju

st se

emed

like

a re

ally

real

ly g

ood

thin

g to

do

cos I

wan

ted

peop

le to

lear

n fr

om w

hat h

appe

ned

Wan

ted

MH

serv

ices

to

lear

n fr

om Jo

e’s d

eath

W

ante

d ot

hers

to

lear

n fr

om

mis

take

s

Stor

y be

ing

used

13

Int

Hm

m h

mm

14

Cla

re

And

oth

er p

eopl

e to

feel

that

they

‘re

not a

lone

if it

’s h

appe

ned

to th

em

15

In

t Y

eah

16

C

lare

O

r wha

teve

r but

mor

e th

an a

nyth

ing

I wan

ted

it to

reac

h do

wn

to p

eopl

e w

ho w

ork

at th

e gr

ass

root

s rat

her t

han

wha

t I’v

e fo

und

abou

t bei

ng a

gov

erno

r is y

ou’r

e w

orki

ng in

the

uppe

r ech

elon

s an

d at

stra

tegy

leve

l

Wan

ted

to re

ach

fron

tline

staf

f W

ante

d ot

hers

to

lear

n fr

om

mis

take

s

Stor

y be

ing

used

17

Int

Yea

h

18

Cla

re

And

I’m

not

hap

py a

t tha

t par

ticul

arly

I’d

rath

er b

e ch

angi

ng th

ings

at t

he g

rass

root

s

19

Int

Rig

ht

20

C

lare

Fo

r the

bet

ter i

f I c

an o

r if i

t nee

ds to

be

done

at a

ll W

ants

to im

prov

e M

H

serv

ices

W

ante

d ot

hers

to

lear

n fr

om

mis

take

s

Stor

y be

ing

used

21

Int

Yea

h ye

ah a

nd d

o yo

u th

ink

thos

e ex

pect

atio

ns h

ave

been

met

or a

re b

eing

met

?

22

Cla

re

Yea

h I m

ean

it’s (

.) th

e vi

deo

I cal

l it a

vid

eo b

ut it

’s a

DV

D re

ally

that

I m

ade

has b

een

used

twic

e (2

) the

firs

t tim

e I m

ean

it’s j

ust k

ind

of li

ke ri

pple

s out

of y

ou k

now

a p

ebbl

e be

ing

drop

ped

in a

po

ol is

n’t i

t

DV

D h

as b

een

used

tw

ice

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Stor

y be

ing

used

23

Int

Mm

m m

m

App

endi

x 7

11

24

Cla

re

The

first

(.) t

hing

that

hap

pene

d w

as th

at R

ethi

nk u

sed

in o

n a

day

with

(.) h

ealth

serv

ice

wor

kers

25

Int

Rig

ht o

k

26

Cla

re

And

ther

e’s a

ver

y go

od p

sych

iatri

st w

ho’s

com

e to

wor

k as

a c

onsu

ltant

psy

chia

trist

for t

he h

ealth

an

d so

cial

car

e fo

unda

tion

trust

and

Sim

on M

ullin

s and

he

(.) m

ade

an a

ppoi

ntm

ent t

o ta

lk to

the

gove

rnor

s and

it tu

rned

out

it w

as n

ot lo

ng a

fter t

his e

vent

(.) a

nd h

e w

as ju

st so

ove

rwhe

lmed

and

fu

ll of

this

thin

g th

e po

or b

loke

had

tear

s in

his e

yes

Con

sulta

nt p

sych

iatri

st

very

mov

ed b

y D

VD

Po

wer

ful s

tory

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Pow

erfu

l sto

ry

Stor

y be

ing

used

27

Int

Rig

ht

28

C

lare

O

f rem

embe

ring

abou

t wha

t was

in th

e vi

deo

and

wan

ted

to m

eet t

he c

arer

gov

erno

rs a

nd so

had

to

then

let o

ut it

was

act

ually

my

vide

o

29

Int

Um

m y

eah

30

C

lare

Er

m b

ut th

en th

e ot

her c

arer

gov

erno

rs c

hipp

ed in

with

thei

r sto

ries w

hich

hav

en’t

been

reco

rded

bu

t (.)

equa

lly v

alid

equ

ally

goo

d po

ints

that

they

had

to m

ake

and

so th

e gu

y le

arnt

a lo

t tha

t day

ju

st a

bout

wha

t it’s

like

to b

e a

care

r

Is h

elpe

d to

rais

e th

e pr

ofile

of c

arer

s with

in

SHSC

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Stor

y be

ing

used

31

Int

Mm

m

32

C

lare

So

that

was

nic

e be

caus

e he

’s tr

ying

ver

y ha

rd to

be

part

of th

e co

mm

unity

33

Int

Is h

e in

the

cris

is te

am?

34

C

lare

A

h er

r pos

sibl

y I c

an’t

rem

embe

r

35

Int

Any

way

ok

36

C

lare

B

ut h

e’s t

ryin

g ve

ry h

ard

to n

ot b

e st

uck

in a

hos

pita

l roo

m so

mew

here

but

to b

e ou

t in

the

com

mun

ity a

s muc

h as

pos

sibl

e

37

Int

Gre

at

38

C

lare

C

os th

at’s

whe

re th

at’s

whe

re th

e ex

perti

se is

nee

ded

if yo

u’re

goi

ng to

kee

p pe

ople

out

of h

ospi

tal

and

in th

e co

mm

unity

39

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

40

C

lare

Pe

ople

who

real

ly u

nder

stan

d w

hat i

t’s li

ke to

be

in th

e co

mm

unity

and

look

afte

r peo

ple

with

ps

ychi

atric

con

ditio

ns

41

Int

Yea

h

42

Cla

re

So

43

In

t So

it is

hav

ing

an im

pact

44

Cla

re

Yea

h th

e ne

xt th

ing

was

wha

t I’v

e ju

st d

one

yest

erda

y D

VD

is h

avin

g an

im

pact

St

ory

is h

avin

g an

ef

fect

St

ory

bein

g us

ed

45

Int

Ok

46

C

lare

Th

e pa

tient

err

(.) o

h w

hat w

as it

cal

led

47

In

t Sa

fety

48

Cla

re

Yea

h pa

tient

safe

ty e

vent

whi

ch w

as ru

n by

the

heal

th a

nd so

cial

car

e fo

unda

tion

trust

aga

in e

rr (.

) an

d th

ey u

sed

that

alo

ng w

ith a

key

note

spea

ker f

rom

the

depa

rtmen

t of h

ealth

err

they

use

d th

e vi

deo

too

to sa

y to

peo

ple

this

wha

t we’

re tr

ying

to so

rt th

is k

ind

of th

ing

DV

D is

hav

ing

an

impa

ct

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Stor

y be

ing

used

49

Int

Mm

mm

50

Cla

re

And

I sp

oke

to it

afte

rwar

ds a

nd e

rr w

ith T

ina

Bal

l and

the

wom

an fr

om th

e de

partm

ent o

f hea

lth

was

ver

y pl

ease

d to

kno

w a

bout

it c

ould

she

use

it D

VD

is h

avin

g an

im

pact

St

ory

is h

avin

g an

ef

fect

St

ory

bein

g us

ed

51

Int

Ah

right

App

endi

x 7

12

52

Cla

re

Yes

of c

ours

e yo

u ca

n us

e it

(laug

hter

) it’s

out

ther

e in

the

ethe

r for

any

body

to u

se it

any

body

that

ne

eds t

o yo

u kn

ow g

ive

som

e pe

ople

a d

ose

of re

ality

bas

ical

ly w

hen

you

get a

cade

mic

s the

y sh

uffle

pap

ers a

roun

d bu

t the

y m

ight

hav

e an

epi

sode

them

selv

es o

f som

e di

ffic

ulty

but

(.) n

ever

re

alis

ing

wha

t it’s

like

at t

he g

rass

root

s for

peo

ple

who

are

tryi

ng to

del

iver

serv

ices

goo

d se

rvic

es

DV

D is

hav

ing

an

impa

ct

Pow

erfu

l sto

ry

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Pow

erfu

l sto

ry

Stor

y be

ing

used

53

Int

Mm

mm

54

Cla

re

That

was

a g

ood

day

55

In

t G

ood

emm

(.) d

id y

ou a

ntic

ipat

e th

at it

wou

ld h

ave

a (.)

pos

itive

wel

l ah

ok y

ou sa

id it

was

a

brill

iant

day

so o

bvio

usly

that

bit

was

goo

d bu

t I’m

won

derin

g

56

Cla

re

Ver

y go

od

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at

time

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

57

Int

Rig

ht o

k bu

t did

you

ant

icip

ate

that

58

Cla

re

Err b

ut w

e w

ere

told

that

som

e pe

ople

wou

ld fe

el it

was

like

a c

atha

rtic

expe

rienc

e so

(1) i

n a

way

at

the

time

it di

dn’t

seem

like

that

it ju

st se

emed

as t

houg

h I’

d be

en (.

) gon

e th

roug

h he

ll an

d ba

ck

agai

n

Did

n’t f

eel c

atha

rtic

Felt

like

she’

d be

en to

he

ll an

d ba

ck

Not

got

clo

sure

V

ery

diff

icul

t pa

infu

l ex

perie

nce

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e St

ill st

rugg

ling

59

Int

Yea

h su

re

60

C

lare

Y

ou k

now

reliv

ed th

e w

hole

thin

g in

gre

at d

etai

l but

at t

he sa

me

time

beca

use

you’

re ta

lkin

g w

ith

like

min

ded

peop

le y

our i

t’s h

ard

to d

o it

but a

fterw

ards

you

kin

d of

(.) f

eel a

lot b

ette

r R

eliv

ed w

hole

ex

perie

nce

With

like

min

ded

peop

le

Felt

a lo

t bet

ter

afte

rwar

ds

Rel

ivin

g pa

st

Supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Posi

tive

impa

ct

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e G

ood

expe

rienc

e at

tim

e H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

61

Int

Mm

m m

m

62

C

lare

W

heth

er (.

) erm

in th

e lo

ng te

rm it

’s h

ad th

e sa

me

effe

ct it

’s re

ally

har

d to

judg

e be

caus

e I

serio

usly

wen

t int

o de

clin

e fr

om S

epte

mbe

r to

Chr

istm

as w

hich

aga

in o

f cou

rse

is a

rele

vant

tim

e of

yea

r whe

n Jo

e w

as il

l and

late

r die

d er

m a

nd g

ettin

g th

roug

h th

at fi

rst C

hris

tmas

was

aw

ful s

o (.)

I di

dn’t

expe

ct to

be

hit w

ith th

at a

gain

this

yea

r las

t yea

r as i

t wer

e

Long

term

eff

ect i

s di

fficu

lt to

ass

ess

Wen

t int

o de

clin

e be

twee

n Se

pt a

nd D

ec

2009

– a

yea

r afte

r Joe

w

as il

l and

die

d –

hit

her v

ery

hard

Long

term

eff

ect

uncl

ear

Life

still

diff

icul

t

Still

stru

gglin

g

63

Int

Rig

ht

64

C

lare

Er

m a

nd I

was

and

so n

ow I’

m g

oing

to g

o an

d ge

t som

e m

ore

ther

apy

from

IAPT

and

it’s

take

n w

ell t

he fi

rst l

ette

r the

GP

wro

te w

as a

yea

r las

t Chr

istm

as (.

) I’v

e se

en so

meb

ody

who

just

doi

ng

som

e ve

ry lo

w le

vel

Saw

a lo

w in

tens

ity

IAPT

wor

ker

Still

nee

ds

ther

apy

Still

stru

gglin

g

65

Int

Yea

h ok

66

Cla

re

And

put

me

forw

ard

for t

he n

ext l

evel

up

(.) I’

ve c

ritic

ised

this

step

car

e m

odel

but

nev

er m

ind

err

(.) a

nd I’

d ob

viou

sly

been

forg

otte

n or

they

wer

e ju

st so

snow

ed u

nder

with

it a

ll an

yway

in th

e en

d I w

ent t

hrou

gh th

e Pa

ls th

ing

67

Int

Rig

ht

App

endi

x 7

13

68

Cla

re

I don

’t kn

ow h

ow re

leva

nt th

is is

69

Int

Wel

l it’s

all

part

of y

our e

xper

ienc

e

70

Cla

re

It is

par

t of t

he e

xper

ienc

e th

at’s

follo

wed

on

from

71

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

72

C

lare

I d

idn’

t exp

ect t

o ne

ed to

acc

ess f

urth

er th

erap

y ju

st sp

ecifi

cally

on

Joe’

s thi

ngs m

aybe

for o

ther

th

ings

I do

n’t k

now

D

idn’

t exp

ect t

o ne

ed

furth

er th

erap

y to

dea

l w

ith Jo

e’s d

eath

Still

nee

ds

ther

apy

Still

stru

gglin

g

73

Int

Mm

mm

m

74

C

lare

B

ut I

did

feel

that

I di

d ne

ed to

in th

e en

d er

r em

it’s

not

gon

e aw

ay o

bvio

usly

and

I ph

oned

him

up

and

they

’ve

final

ly a

fter a

fortn

ight

pho

ned

me

back

and

off

ered

me

an a

ppoi

ntm

ent i

n A

pril

so

that

’s q

uite

a lo

ng ti

me

to w

ait f

or (.

) I m

ean

that

’s a

noth

er o

f my

criti

cism

s of w

hat h

appe

ned

to

Joe

Still

stru

ggle

to c

ome

to

term

s with

Joe’

s dea

th

Tryi

ng to

acc

ess m

ore

ther

apy

Not

got

clo

sure

St

ill st

rugg

ling

Still

nee

ds

ther

apy

Still

stru

gglin

g

75

Int

Sure

yes

76

Cla

re

Ther

e w

as n

o su

ppor

t giv

en to

us i

ts c

ome

from

gro

ups l

ike

your

car

ers g

roup

that

you

ran

and

othe

r peo

ple

in it

that

err

whi

ch is

ver

y us

eful

obv

ious

ly

Not

bee

n of

fere

d su

ppor

t N

ot h

ad m

uch

supp

ort

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e

77

Int

Mm

mm

78

Cla

re

But

yes

toug

h tim

e it

was

H

as h

ad a

toug

h tim

e H

as st

rugg

led

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e 79

In

t W

ell a

bsol

utel

y ye

ah b

ound

to b

e em

m (.

) so

(2) I

gue

ss th

e ne

xt q

uest

ion

is so

rt of

how

you

felt

durin

g th

e pr

oces

s whi

ch y

ou’v

e ki

nd o

f sai

d a

bit a

nd th

en a

fterw

ards

and

then

ove

r the

long

term

80

Cla

re

Mm

81

Int

Whi

ch y

ou’v

e to

uche

d on

a b

it ha

ven’

t you

82

Cla

re

I mea

n at

the

time

we

wer

e al

l in

bits

wer

en’t

we

I mea

n yo

u w

eren

’t th

ere

Ever

yone

was

in b

its

durin

g th

e w

orks

hop

V

diff

icul

t at t

ime

83

Int

I was

ther

e at

the

begi

nnin

g an

d th

e en

d an

d yo

u w

ere

smili

ng a

t bot

h po

ints

84

Cla

re

Oh

dear

err

(.) o

bvio

usly

you

talk

abo

ut th

ings

that

touc

h at

raw

ner

ves i

n ot

her p

eopl

e so

ther

e w

ere

peop

le (1

) lea

ving

the

room

in b

its e

rr e

m b

ut th

at w

as a

ll pa

rt of

supp

ortin

g ea

ch o

ther

Ta

lkin

g ab

out d

iffic

ult

expe

rienc

es

Diff

icul

t em

otio

nally

V

ery

upse

tting

Su

ppor

ted

each

oth

er

Rev

isiti

ng

diffi

cult

expe

rienc

es

Ver

y up

setti

ng

wor

ksho

p V

ery

supp

ortiv

e

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e G

ood

expe

rienc

e at

tim

e

85

Int

Yea

h

86

Cla

re

And

afte

rwar

ds sa

ying

I’m

ver

y so

rry

but (

.) I h

ope

it ha

sn’t

upse

t you

too

muc

h bu

t you

kno

w

Apo

logi

sed

for p

eopl

e ge

tting

ups

et

Apo

logi

sed

for

peop

le g

ettin

g up

set

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e

87

Int

Mm

mm

88

Cla

re

Erm

yes

(.) a

nd se

eing

wel

l I th

ink

for a

ll of

us w

e fo

und

havi

ng to

look

for (

.) th

e im

ages

to p

ut

with

the

voic

e ve

ry v

ery

hard

inde

ed I

mea

n I h

ad to

go

back

into

this

box

whe

re I’

ve p

ut a

ll th

e st

uff a

bout

Joe’

s dea

th a

nd th

e lit

tle m

emen

tos t

hat I

kep

t

Look

ing

for a

ppro

pria

te

imag

es w

as v

ery

hard

H

ad to

go

thro

ugh

mem

ento

s of J

oe &

st

uff a

bout

Joe’

s dea

th

Look

ing

thro

ugh

imag

es w

as h

ard

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e

89

Int

Mm

mm

App

endi

x 7

14

90

Cla

re

Erm

and

get

it a

ll ou

t aga

in I

coul

d cr

y no

w if

I al

low

ed m

ysel

f V

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

upse

tting

w

orks

hop

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e

91

Int

Mm

mm

92

Cla

re

But

I try

kee

p pr

ofes

sion

alis

m u

p (la

ught

er)

93

In

t W

ell (

laug

hter

) if y

ou n

eed

to c

ry c

ry

94

C

lare

(la

ught

er)

95

In

t I’

ve g

ot so

me

tissu

es

96

C

lare

Er

m e

hh (1

) yes

it (.

) was

(.) r

eally

toug

h on

all

of u

s (1)

I th

ink

(.) b

ut th

ere

wer

e th

ree

of u

s the

re

ther

e w

as T

ina

and

Mau

reen

V

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

toug

h Su

ppor

ting

each

oth

er

Ver

y up

setti

ng

wor

ksho

p

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e G

ood

expe

rienc

e at

tim

e

97

Int

Yea

h

98

Cla

re

Mau

reen

’s in

was

in y

our g

roup

99

Int

Yea

h

100

Cla

re

And

we

wer

e re

ally

err

apa

rt fr

om b

eing

par

t of a

stro

ng g

roup

real

ly su

ppor

ted

each

oth

er b

ut o

n a

sim

ilar k

ind

of a

them

e as

it w

ere

Stro

ng g

roup

V

ery

supp

ortiv

e

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

101

Int

Yea

h su

re y

eah

10

2 C

lare

So

(.) y

ou k

now

Mau

reen

gav

e m

e th

e tit

le fo

r min

e be

caus

e by

then

I co

uldn

’t th

ink

anym

ore

(laug

hter

) H

elpe

d ea

ch o

ther

Ex

haus

ting

proc

ess

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

Exha

ustin

g pr

oces

s

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

V d

iffic

ult a

t tim

e 10

3 In

t R

ight

104

Cla

re

At t

he e

nd o

f it

10

5 In

t R

ight

sure

106

Cla

re

Erm

and

put

ting

the

mus

ic to

it w

as e

rr m

usic

’s o

ne o

f the

thin

gs w

hich

real

ly h

olds

me

toge

ther

an

d er

r tha

t was

that

was

nic

e th

at w

as th

e be

st b

it ac

tual

ly c

os it

just

felt

as th

ough

you

wer

e co

mpl

etin

g it

Enjo

yed

com

plet

ing

stor

y, a

ddin

g m

usic

En

joye

d co

mpl

etin

g st

ory

Goo

d ex

perie

nce

at ti

me

107

Int

Rig

ht

10

8 C

lare

A

nd y

ou th

ink

wel

l I h

ope

I’ve

man

aged

to p

ut th

at in

a b

ox a

nd fi

nish

ed w

ith it

now

but

of c

ours

e no

thin

g’s t

hat s

impl

e (la

ught

er)

Thin

k yo

u’ve

got

cl

osur

e B

ut n

othi

ng’s

that

si

mpl

e

Thin

k yo

u’ve

got

cl

osur

e B

ut st

ill

stru

gglin

g

Still

stru

gglin

g

109

Int

No

no

11

0 C

lare

B

ut it

was

bet

ter

But

feel

s bet

ter a

bout

pa

st

Feel

s bet

ter a

bout

pa

st

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r 11

1 In

t A

nd th

e m

usic

’s th

e fin

al b

it

112

Cla

re

Mm

(.) c

hose

som

e m

usic

fit t

hat t

o th

e (in

audi

ble)

113

Int

So is

ther

e a

kind

of s

ense

of y

ou h

avin

g to

face

you

r dem

ons t

hrou

gh th

is c

os y

ou ta

lk a

bout

you

kn

ow re

livin

g di

ffic

ult e

xper

ienc

es (.

) and

obv

ious

ly y

ou c

ome

out w

ell y

ou a

lway

s com

e ou

t the

ot

her s

ide

App

endi

x 7

15

114

Cla

re

Dem

ons (

.) I s

uppo

se th

e de

mon

s are

feel

ing

guilt

y Fa

cing

dem

on o

f fe

elin

g of

gui

lty

Still

feel

s gui

lty

Still

stru

gglin

g

115

Int

Rig

ht

11

6 C

lare

Y

ou’r

e in

you

’re

split

it’s

like

I w

as a

teac

her s

o if

anyt

hing

kic

ks o

ff in

the

clas

sroo

m o

r a k

id

thro

ws u

p yo

ur p

rofe

ssio

nalis

m k

icks

in a

nd y

ou st

ay c

alm

and

act

ually

und

erne

ath

you

mig

ht n

ot

be li

ke th

at a

t all

and

it’s k

ind

of li

ke th

at (.

) I’m

doi

ng th

ings

like

this

like

yes

terd

ay a

nd p

uttin

g on

the

prof

essi

onal

fron

t whe

n ac

tual

ly u

nder

neat

h w

hat i

t’s c

ost m

e ha

s sev

eral

nig

hts b

ad sl

eep

(.) I

mea

n I w

as a

wak

e fo

r hou

rs a

nd h

ours

and

hou

rs la

st n

ight

hav

ing

done

I m

ean

plea

sed

I’d

done

wha

t I’d

don

e

Hig

h co

st o

f fac

ing

past

St

ill st

rugg

ling

with

pas

t St

ill st

rugg

ling

117

Int

Yea

h

118

Cla

re

Yes

terd

ay b

ut a

ctua

lly re

livin

g it

Hig

h co

st o

f rel

ivin

g pa

st

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

119

Int

Yea

h

120

Cla

re

And

and

tryi

ng to

wor

k ou

t all

the

time

why

do

I fee

l lik

e th

is w

here

’s th

is c

ome

from

? (.)

and

ra

tiona

lly y

ou k

now

you

don

’t fe

el g

uilty

and

shou

ldn’

t fee

l gui

lty b

ut a

ctua

lly (.

) it k

eeps

bu

bblin

g th

roug

h th

e cr

acks

aga

in th

at y

ou’v

e pa

pere

d ov

er a

nd y

ou d

o fe

el in

cred

ibly

gui

lty so

th

ose

are

the

dem

ons t

hat o

ne k

eeps

tryi

ng to

cop

e w

ith re

ally

Tryi

ng to

wor

k ou

t why

sh

e fe

els l

ike

she

does

R

atio

nally

shou

ld b

e fin

e, b

ut is

n’t

Still

feel

ing

incr

edib

ly

guilt

y

Still

feel

s gui

lty

Con

fuse

d by

fe

elin

gs

Still

stru

gglin

g H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

121

Int

Mm

yea

h

122

Cla

re

Not

so m

uch

the

Trus

t but

the

fact

that

the

wor

k as

a g

over

nor k

eeps

(.) p

ullin

g th

ings

up

Her

wor

k ke

eps t

akin

g he

r bac

k in

to h

er p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

123

Int

Rig

ht o

k so

you

’re

havi

ng to

go

back

thro

ugh

it ag

ain

and

agai

n yo

u ca

n’t j

ust

12

4 C

lare

In

a w

ay y

es

Hav

ing

to g

o ov

er

even

ts a

gain

and

aga

in

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

125

Int

Leav

e it

at re

st

12

6 C

lare

an

d th

e th

e (.)

I th

ink

one

thin

g th

at’s

err

no

I don

’t th

ink

I can

say

it’s t

hat e

xper

ienc

e th

at’s

mad

e (1

) the

cha

nge

but I

thin

k th

e po

st tr

aum

a ty

pe st

uff w

here

(.) I

’d b

e in

a m

eetin

g (.)

I w

as in

a

mee

ting

abou

t nut

ritio

n th

is li

ttle

grou

p go

ing

so I’

m n

ebbi

ng in

on

thei

r bus

ines

s and

erm

(.) t

his

is in

the

Trus

t and

they

’re

just

talk

ing

abou

t (.)

wel

l I’m

sayi

ng y

ou’v

e go

t to

alw

ays a

pply

this

to

peop

le in

the

com

mun

ity a

fter a

ll th

ey’r

e try

ing

to k

eep

peop

le in

the

com

mun

ity a

nd n

ot ju

st y

ou

can’

t jus

t tal

k ab

out p

eopl

e w

ho a

re a

ctua

lly re

side

nt h

ere

127

Int

Yea

h

128

Cla

re

Erm

you

’ve

got t

o ac

tual

ly th

ink

abou

t tho

se o

ut th

ere

as w

ell (

.) an

d yo

u kn

ow I

was

thin

king

ol

der p

eopl

e un

der n

utrit

ion

and

all t

he re

st o

f it a

nd th

ey w

ere

thin

king

yes

real

ly b

ad d

epre

ssio

n an

d th

at im

med

iate

ly to

ok m

e no

t to

som

e lit

tle o

ld la

dy I’

d go

t in

my

head

but

Joe

Still

kee

ps b

eing

re

min

ded

abou

t Joe

’s

illne

ss a

nd d

eath

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

129

Int

Yes

yea

h

130

Cla

re

And

how

ill h

e w

as a

nd th

in h

e go

t som

etim

es

Still

kee

ps b

eing

re

min

ded

abou

t Joe

’s

illne

ss a

nd d

eath

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

131

Int

Rig

ht

App

endi

x 7

16

132

Cla

re

And

so it

bub

bles

up

in th

ose

(.) it

’s c

onst

antly

regu

rgita

ting

and

I sup

pose

it’s

bet

ter n

ot to

bur

y it

but a

t the

sam

e tim

e it

pops

up

whe

n yo

u do

n’t w

ant i

t to

(laug

hter

) tha

t’s th

e th

ing

Mem

orie

s kee

p po

ppin

g up

whe

n sh

e do

esn’

t wan

t the

m to

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

133

Int

Yea

h

134

Cla

re

Espe

cial

ly la

te a

t nig

ht

Reo

ccur

ring

mem

orie

s la

te a

t nig

ht

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

stru

gglin

g

135

Int

Yea

h rig

ht

13

6 C

lare

So

in a

way

it’s

not

got

rid

of th

at b

ut it

is g

ettin

g be

tter a

nd I

thin

k th

at th

e st

oryt

ellin

g pr

obab

ly

was

par

t of t

hat

Not

got

clo

sure

but

ge

tting

bet

ter

Stor

ytel

ling

prob

ably

he

lped

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

But

get

ting

bette

r

Still

stru

gglin

g H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

137

Int

Rig

ht o

k

138

Cla

re

Whi

ch is

why

I’m

als

o go

ing

to g

o ba

ck to

(.) b

ut th

e th

ing

abou

t the

stor

ytel

ling

is th

at if

I go

ba

ck in

to so

me

form

of t

hera

py si

tuat

ion

I can

just

tell

them

to g

o to

that

web

site

I do

n’t h

ave

to

talk

the

who

le th

ing

thro

ugh

agai

n

DV

D w

ill b

e us

eful

in

ther

apy

Hel

p he

r to

shar

e he

r st

ory

Hel

ping

her

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r

139

Int

Rig

ht o

k ye

ah

14

0 C

lare

A

nd th

ey c

ould

get

the

gist

of i

t stra

ight

aw

ay w

ithou

t me

havi

ng to

say

this

is w

hat h

appe

ned

and

brin

g it

all b

ack

up a

gain

W

on’t

have

to re

tell

her

stor

y ag

ain

Hel

ping

her

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r 14

1 In

t M

m m

m

14

2 C

lare

I m

ean

I will

talk

abo

ut it

obv

ious

ly b

ut I

wan

t get

bey

ond

that

poi

nt o

f hav

ing

to sp

end

a w

hole

se

ssio

n ex

plai

ning

wha

t it’s

all

abou

t

143

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

14

4 C

lare

So

in th

at w

ay it

s per

sona

lly to

me

it’s h

elpf

ul

Has

hel

ped

her

pers

onal

ly

Hel

ping

her

pe

rson

ally

H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

145

Int

Mm

mm

mm

146

Cla

re

And

then

I’ve

show

n it

to m

y fa

mily

so it

was

hel

pful

to th

em I

had

my

boys

my

othe

r tw

o bo

ys

com

e ro

und

and

Joe’

s mat

e D

ave

and

thei

r girl

frie

nds a

nd th

ey a

nd w

e al

l sat

thro

ugh

it co

s afte

r I’

d do

ne it

I sa

id I

wan

t you

to k

now

that

this

is w

hat’s

hap

peni

ng a

nd th

is is

wha

t I’v

e do

ne a

nd

this

is w

hat i

t’s g

oing

to b

e us

ed fo

r and

I w

ant t

o kn

ow I

wan

t to

know

wha

t you

thin

k of

it

beca

use

I’ve

feel

I’ve

shou

lder

ed su

ch a

lot a

ll on

my

own

Show

n D

VD

to fa

mily

H

elpe

d he

r to

show

ho

w m

uch

she

has h

ad

to sh

ould

er o

n he

r ow

n

Hel

ping

her

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r

147

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght m

m

14

8 C

lare

B

ecau

se I

don’

t tal

k to

them

abo

ut it

D

oesn

’t ta

lk to

fam

ily

abou

t it

149

Int

Mm

mm

150

Cla

re

They

’d g

et in

to a

terr

ible

stat

e er

m a

nd so

of c

ours

e th

ey sa

t wat

chin

g ab

solu

tely

in p

iece

s as y

ou’d

ex

pect

D

oesn

’t w

ant t

o up

set

them

151

Int

Mm

m m

m

15

2 C

lare

Er

m a

nd I

said

hav

e I e

xagg

erat

ed it

in a

ny w

ay?

Hav

e I d

isto

rted

the

stor

y? H

ave

I tol

d it

just

ehh

an

d th

ey sa

id n

o m

um th

at’s

just

exa

ctly

how

it w

as

They

val

idat

ed h

er

acco

unt

Hel

ped

her t

o ge

t su

ppor

t H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

153

Int

Mm

mm

App

endi

x 7

17

154

Cla

re

So th

at w

as I

thin

k th

at’s

don

e th

em g

ood

and

out o

f tha

t mee

ting

we

are

now

in w

eeks

tim

e go

ing

back

to th

e Is

le o

f Whi

te w

here

I sc

atte

red

Joe’

s ash

es a

nd w

e’re

doi

ng li

ke a

mem

oria

l wal

k ag

ain

acro

ss th

e Te

nnis

on D

own

and

up to

the

Nee

dles

and

bac

k ag

ain

to w

here

we

scat

tere

d hi

s ash

es so

th

at’s

Stor

y ha

s hel

ped

fam

ily

Hel

ped

fam

ily to

co

me

to te

rms

with

Joe’

s dea

th

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r

155

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

15

6 C

lare

So

it’s

kin

d of

like

a li

ttle

ball

a ki

nd o

f litt

le th

ings

som

e lit

tle ri

pple

s and

big

ger r

ippl

es a

nd

com

ing

out o

f the

(.) a

nd y

ou’v

e ch

ucke

d it

in th

e w

ater

and

it’s

still

floa

ting

Stor

y is

hel

ping

in lo

ts

of d

iffer

ent w

ays

Stor

y is

hel

ping

in

lots

of d

iffer

ent

way

s

Stor

y be

ing

used

157

Int

So it

’s so

unds

like

in o

ne se

nse

(.) I

mea

n th

ere’

s a lo

t for

you

abo

ut sh

arin

g yo

ur st

ory

beca

use

of

your

wor

k as

a g

over

nor a

nd (.

) you

kno

w th

at’s

(.) k

ind

of re

gard

less

of t

he st

ory

that

’s k

ind

of

why

you

’re

a go

vern

or

158

Cla

re

Yes

159

Int

beca

use

you

had

carin

g re

spon

sibi

litie

s

160

Cla

re

Yea

h

161

Int

The

way

thin

gs tu

rned

out

you

’re

very

mot

ivat

ed to

impr

ove

serv

ices

as a

resu

lt bu

t the

n th

ere’

s al

so th

e el

emen

t aro

und

shar

ing

it in

you

r per

sona

l life

162

Cla

re

Yes

W

ants

to im

prov

e se

rvic

es

Wan

ts to

impr

ove

serv

ices

St

ory

bein

g us

ed

163

Int

Get

ting

supp

ort t

here

whe

reas

with

in se

rvic

es th

at c

an b

e di

fficu

lt fo

r you

H

elpe

d he

r to

get m

ore

supp

ort

Hel

ped

her t

o ge

t m

ore

supp

ort

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r 16

4 C

lare

Y

es y

eah

16

5 In

t A

lthou

gh b

enef

icia

l for

the

serv

ices

but

in y

our p

erso

nal l

ife th

ere

is m

ore

scop

e fo

r get

ting

supp

ort a

nd b

eing

und

erst

ood

I thi

nk

Hel

ping

fam

ily to

un

ders

tand

wha

t she

ha

s bee

n th

roug

h an

d is

st

ill g

oing

thro

ugh

Hel

ped

her t

o ge

t m

ore

supp

ort

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r

166

Cla

re

Yes

yes

167

Int

Is th

at fa

ir to

say

16

8 C

lare

Y

es th

at’s

fair

yeah

(lau

ghte

r) v

ery

good

169

Int

Erm

(2) I

thin

k yo

u’ve

cov

ered

so m

uch

actu

ally

170

Cla

re

(laug

hter

) pro

babl

y to

o m

uch

17

1 In

t (la

ughe

r) n

o no

I th

ink

you’

ve b

een

very

ver

y ye

ah v

ery

erm

cle

ar in

wha

t you

’ve

said

real

ly

beca

use

you

know

(.) t

he o

ther

que

stio

ns I’

ve g

ot h

ere

(.) y

ou’v

e re

ally

cov

ered

(.) m

ost o

f the

m (.

) re

ally

I m

ean

ther

e’s o

ther

(.) I

mea

n I k

ind

of sa

id h

alf w

ay a

n ho

ur k

ind

of it

s 19

min

utes

now

it

obvi

ousl

y do

esn’

t hav

e to

take

hal

f an

hour

that

’s w

as ju

st re

ally

my

shot

in th

e da

rk I

mea

n th

ere’

s thi

ngs h

ere

you

see

(.) a

s I sa

id th

ere’

s a k

ind

of a

erm

(.) y

ou k

now

I’ve

look

ed a

t the

th

eory

for t

his b

ut I

don’

t wan

t to

colo

ur y

ou sa

y by

sort

of sa

ying

wel

l did

this

hap

pen

172

Cla

re

Yes

yea

h m

m

17

3 In

t So

erm

174

Cla

re

I mea

n I t

hink

not

as a

resu

lt of

the

stor

ytel

ling

but a

s a re

sult

of b

eing

a g

over

nor I

’m w

atch

ing

the

suic

ide

err e

rr p

lan

stra

tegy

for r

educ

ing

suic

ide

and

they

’re

quite

hap

py w

ith th

ings

alm

ost

beca

use

it’s n

ot so

bad

in S

heff

ield

com

pare

d to

oth

er p

lace

s kin

d of

thin

g bu

t at t

he sa

me

time

App

endi

x 7

18

they

’re

begi

nnin

g to

be

awar

e th

at it

’s n

ot in

hou

se th

at th

e su

icid

es a

re h

appe

ning

it’s

out

in th

e co

mm

unity

and

the

mor

e th

at th

at’s

(.) s

o I’

m w

atch

ing

that

one

bec

ause

that

impi

nges

on

the

who

le e

xper

ienc

e as

wel

l so

175

Int

Yea

h ye

ah so

(.) I

’m ju

st th

inki

ng a

re th

ere

any

sort

of (.

) wou

ld y

ou li

ke to

try

and

sum

up

your

ex

perie

nce

and

the

impa

ct it

’s h

ad o

n yo

u

176

Cla

re

Ooh

h

177

Int

Or m

aybe

not

it’s

alri

ght y

ou d

on’t

have

to

17

8 C

lare

Er

mm

(.) I

thin

k do

ing

it ha

d a

mas

sive

impa

ct b

ut I

thin

k th

e im

pact

has

bee

n ot

her p

eopl

e ha

ve

wat

ched

it

Doi

ng it

had

a m

assi

ve

impa

ct

Has

had

an

impa

ct o

n au

dien

ces

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Pow

erfu

l sto

ry

Hel

ped

her t

o fe

el

bette

r St

ory

bein

g us

ed

179

Int

Rig

ht

18

0 C

lare

I m

ean

Tina

said

she

was

wat

chin

g ev

eryb

ody

whe

n th

e vi

deo

was

on

yest

erda

y an

d sh

e sa

id

abso

lute

ly e

very

body

was

utte

rly g

lued

to w

atch

ing

it be

caus

e w

ell i

t’s p

ower

ful a

nd it

says

a lo

t th

ings

abo

ut w

hat’s

hap

peni

ng in

the

com

mun

ity w

hen

you

try a

nd lo

ok a

fter p

eopl

e in

the

com

mun

ity so

Ver

y po

wer

ful s

tory

Po

wer

ful s

tory

St

ory

bein

g us

ed

181

Int

Mm

mm

182

Cla

re

Yea

h so

in th

at w

ay it

kin

d of

(.) y

ou k

now

(.) t

here

’s a

lot o

f peo

ple

at th

ese

sorts

of e

vent

s be

caus

e th

ey a

re th

ere

beca

use

they

hav

e to

be

ther

e no

t bec

ause

they

nec

essa

rily

alw

ays w

ant t

o ha

ve to

be

train

ed a

gain

but

they

kno

w th

at

183

Int

Yea

h rig

ht su

re

18

4 C

lare

So

in th

at w

ay th

ese

vide

o st

orie

s jus

t hav

e fa

r gre

ater

impa

ct th

an so

meb

ody

com

ing

up fr

om

Lond

on a

nd g

ivin

g a

spee

ch a

nd n

o m

atte

r how

goo

d an

d re

ally

with

it sh

e w

as a

nd re

ally

un

ders

tand

ing

of p

eopl

e’s w

here

they

’re

at in

thei

r wor

k lif

e an

d ev

eryt

hing

so y

eah

I mea

n it

has a

bi

g im

pact

that

’s th

e bi

gges

t thi

ng

The

bigg

est i

mpa

ct o

f th

e st

ory

has b

een

on

audi

ence

s

Stor

y is

hav

ing

an

effe

ct

Pow

erfu

l sto

ry

Stor

y be

ing

used

185

Int

Rig

ht

18

6 C

lare

It

has m

ore

impa

ct o

n ot

her p

eopl

e th

an p

ossi

ble

for m

e M

ore

impa

ct o

n ot

hers

th

an o

n he

rsel

f St

ory

is h

avin

g an

ef

fect

St

ill st

rugg

ling

with

life

Stor

y be

ing

used

St

ill st

rugg

ling

187

Int

Yea

h

188

Cla

re

But

I’ll

thin

k ab

out t

hat c

os I

can’

t rea

lly a

nsw

er it

dire

ctly

189

Int

That

’s fi

ne

19

0 C

lare

It’

s ver

y ha

rd to

say

how

muc

h of

an

impa

ct it

’s h

ad o

n m

e D

iffic

ult t

o as

sess

pe

rson

al im

pact

D

iffic

ult t

o as

sess

pe

rson

al im

pact

H

elpe

d he

r to

feel

be

tter

191

Int

Yea

h w

ell y

ou’v

e sa

id a

lot a

lread

y ac

tual

ly

19

2 C

lare

Y

eah

yeah

193

Int

You

hav

e sa

id a

lot

19

4 C

lare

Y

eah

19

5 In

t Sh

all w

e le

ave

it th

ere?

196

Cla

re

Yea

h (.)

I th

ink

so

App

endi

x 7

19

197

Int

Than

k yo

u

198

Cla

re

Than

k yo

u

Jam

es tr

ansc

ript

ana

lysi

s S

ectio

n

Fi

rst o

rder

cod

ing

Seco

nd o

rder

co

ding

In

terv

iew

them

es

1 In

t So

erm

just

to st

art w

ith h

ow d

id y

ou fi

nd th

e pr

oces

s ove

rall?

2 Ja

mes

Er

r ver

y ve

ry ‘a

rd it

had

a b

ig im

pact

(.) t

hem

thre

e da

ys

Har

d ex

perie

nce

Had

a b

ig im

pact

D

iffic

ult

expe

rienc

e Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

3 In

t U

mm

4 Ja

mes

an

d i d

idn’

t rea

lise

how

em

otio

nal a

nd ‘a

rd it

’d b

e V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

hard

V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

diff

icul

t ex

perie

nce

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

5 In

t R

ight

6 Ja

mes

C

os i’

d ne

ver r

eally

gon

e in

to m

e ac

cide

nt b

efor

e N

ot lo

oked

into

ac

cide

nt b

efor

e th

en

Look

ed in

mor

e de

pth

than

bef

ore

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

7 In

t R

ight

8 Ja

mes

So

i op

ened

a (.

) big

can

of w

orm

s O

pene

d a

big

can

of

wor

ms

Ver

y em

otio

nal

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

expe

rienc

e

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

9 In

t O

k

10

Jam

es

Eh (2

) er a

(2) I

supp

ose

at o

ne ti

me

(.) p

art w

ay th

ru’ i

t I fe

lt I c

ould

n’t d

o it

At o

ne p

oint

felt

he

coul

dn’t

do it

V

ery

diff

icul

t ex

perie

nce

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

11

Int

Rig

ht o

k

12

Jam

es

I tho

ught

it w

ere

too

muc

h To

o m

uch

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

expe

rienc

e V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 13

In

t R

ight

just

to ta

lk a

bout

err

14

Jam

es

Just

the

who

le e

rr I

thou

ght i

t wer

e th

at e

mot

iona

l V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 15

In

t U

mm

um

m

16

Ja

mes

Er

r and

bei

ng w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

and

thei

r sto

ries

Mov

ed b

y ot

her p

eopl

es

stor

ies

Oth

er st

orie

s w

ere

upse

tting

V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

App

endi

x 7

20

expe

rienc

e 17

In

t Y

eah

18

Ja

mes

I’

d ne

ver b

een

in a

situ

atio

n lik

e th

at b

efor

e N

ot b

een

a si

tuat

ion

like

that

bef

ore

Look

ed in

mor

e de

pth

than

bef

ore

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

19

Int

No

mos

t peo

ple

have

n’t

20

Ja

mes

Er

r and

whe

n w

e ‘a

d an

d w

hen

we

‘ad

that

firs

t dis

cuss

ion

21

In

t U

mm

22

Jam

es

An

an a

ddre

ssed

eve

rybo

dy a

nd y

ou k

now

said

why

we

wer

e he

re a

nd y

ou k

now

that

had

a b

ig

Oth

er p

eopl

e’s s

torie

s ha

d a

bid

impa

ct

Oth

er st

orie

s w

ere

very

up

setti

ng

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

23

Int

Um

m

24

Ja

mes

Im

pact

25

Int

Um

m

26

Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

cos

I kn

ow I’

ve h

ad a

terr

ible

inci

dent

an

acci

dent

but

list

enin

g to

som

e of

the

othe

r pe

ople

27

Int

Yea

h

28

Jam

es

And

wha

t the

y’ve

bee

n th

ru’

29

In

t Y

eah

30

Ja

mes

Er

r (.)

wel

l I w

ere

in te

ars m

esel

f for

them

as w

ell

Oth

er p

eopl

e’s s

torie

s w

ere

very

ups

ettin

g O

ther

stor

ies

wer

e ve

ry

upse

tting

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

31

Int

Rig

ht o

k

32

Jam

es

You

kno

w w

hen

we

first

intro

duce

d ev

eryb

ody

and

I tho

ught

this

is g

oing

to b

e a

bit o

f a

rolle

rcoa

ster

33

Int

Rig

ht

34

Ja

mes

‘c

os I

thin

k ev

eryb

ody

wer

e in

sam

e (.)

sam

e m

ind

I thi

nk

35

In

t I t

hink

they

wer

e ye

ah

36

Ja

mes

up

setti

ng

Ver

y up

setti

ng

Oth

er st

orie

s w

ere

very

up

setti

ng

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

37

Int

Yea

h I m

ean

I’ve

I’ve

obv

ious

ly lo

ok a

t all

the

stor

ies a

nd m

ost o

f the

m se

vera

l tim

es

38

Ja

mes

Y

eah

yeah

39

Int

Ther

e yo

u kn

ow th

ey’r

e al

l ver

y m

ovin

g

40

Jam

es

They

are

V

ery

mov

ing

stor

ies

Oth

er st

orie

s w

ere

very

up

setti

ng

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

41

Int

You

kno

w th

ere’

s a lo

t of d

iffic

ult

42

Ja

mes

B

ut I

felt

I fel

t tha

t I w

as in

the

right

pla

ce to

be

open

ing

my

stor

y as

wel

l Fe

lt lik

e a

good

en

viro

nmen

t to

talk

ab

out h

is st

ory

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

App

endi

x 7

21

43

Int

Rig

ht o

k

44

Jam

es

With

eve

rybo

dy e

lse

45

In

t U

mm

um

m

46

Ja

mes

W

ith th

eir s

torie

s err

(1) I

mea

n I’

ve (1

) bee

n an

d se

en n

umer

ous p

sych

olog

ists

and

gon

e ov

er m

y st

ory

no e

nd o

f tim

es

47

Int

Rig

ht

48

Ja

mes

A

nd a

m se

eing

a c

ouns

ello

r now

but

(.) i

t’s n

ot ‘a

d th

e im

pact

as w

hat

Mor

e po

wer

ful t

han

seei

ng a

cou

nsel

lor o

r ps

ycho

logi

st

Mor

e po

wer

ful

than

oth

er th

erap

y he

’d h

ad b

efor

e

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

49

Int

Rig

ht e

rr y

eah

50

Ja

mes

A

s it w

as tr

ying

to te

ll th

at g

roup

of p

eopl

e w

hat’d

hap

pene

d to

me

Hav

ing

an a

udie

nce

mad

e a

diffe

renc

e H

avin

g an

au

dien

ce m

ade

a di

ffere

nce

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

51

Int

Rig

ht e

rr o

k

52

Jam

es

So c

os I

have

seen

a lo

t of c

ouns

ello

rs

53

In

t R

ight

54

Jam

es

And

psy

chol

ogis

ts

55

In

t U

mm

56

Jam

es

You

kno

w ‘c

os I

do su

ffer w

ith (.

) you

kno

w p

ost t

raum

atic

stre

ss a

nd e

very

thin

g fr

om th

e ac

cide

nt

Suff

ers f

rom

PTS

D

Suff

ers f

rom

PT

SD

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 57

In

t rig

ht o

k ye

ah

58

Ja

mes

A

nd I’

m st

ill d

oing

now

(.) b

ut th

at w

ere

real

ly ra

w

Raw

exp

erie

nce

Ver

y em

otio

nal

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

expe

rienc

e

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

59

Int

Um

m u

mm

60

Jam

es

To m

e do

ing

that

in fr

ont o

f eve

rybo

dy

Har

d te

lling

stor

y in

gr

oup

Har

d te

lling

stor

y in

gro

up

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

61

Int

Um

m

62

Ja

mes

It

felt

mor

e (.)

you

kno

w (.

) mor

e re

al

Felt

mor

e re

al

Ver

y tra

umat

ic

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

63

Int

Rig

ht

64

Ja

mes

W

ith e

very

body

ther

e th

an w

hat I

hav

e do

ne sa

t in

room

with

just

one

per

son

talk

ing

abou

t it

65

In

t Su

re su

re (2

) yes

so it

was

in it

self

very

trau

mat

ic

Ver

y tra

umat

ic

Ver

y tra

umat

ic

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

66

Jam

es

It w

ere

it w

ere

(.) v

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 67

In

t Y

eah

App

endi

x 7

22

68

Jam

es

An

an it

kno

cked

the

win

d ou

t me

sails

for a

few

wee

ks th

at

Took

him

seve

ral

wee

ks to

reco

ver

Left

him

feel

ing

shak

en

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

69

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

70

Jam

es

It di

d ph

ysic

ally

and

men

tally

B

oth

phys

ical

ly a

nd

men

tally

Le

ft hi

m fe

elin

g sh

aken

V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 71

In

t U

mm

72

Jam

es

I gla

d I d

id it

G

lad

he d

id it

G

lad

he d

id it

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

73

In

t R

ight

ok

74

Ja

mes

G

lad

I did

(.) b

ut I

stru

ggle

d. I

did

wel

l cos

I w

as o

ne o

f the

firs

t to

finis

h it

Gla

d he

did

it

But

stru

ggle

d O

ne o

f firs

t to

finis

h

Gla

d he

did

it

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

expe

rienc

e

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

75

Int

Rig

ht o

k (la

ught

er)

76

Ja

mes

A

nd I

was

hel

ping

eve

ryon

e el

se w

ith th

eir

Hel

ped

othe

rs

Plea

sed

with

pr

oces

s V

ery

supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t 77

In

t Th

at’s

goo

d ‘c

os th

ere’

s a lo

t in

your

s act

ually

78

Jam

es

I fel

t as t

houg

h I’

d go

t to

get i

t don

e as

qui

ck a

s I c

an a

nd g

et

Wan

ted

to g

et it

don

e as

qu

ickl

y as

pos

sibl

e W

ante

d to

get

it

done

qui

ckly

V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 79

In

t O

k ok

cos

you

’ve

got a

lot o

f im

ages

in y

ours

80

Jam

es

Yea

h so

i w

ante

d to

I’d

got i

t all

in m

y he

ad a

nd I

wan

ted

to g

et it

dow

n on

W

ante

d to

get

it d

own

Wan

ted

to g

et it

do

ne q

uick

ly

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

81

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght d

id y

ou w

rite

it be

fore

hand

or e

rr

82

Ja

mes

Er

r

83

Int

And

col

lect

the

imag

es b

efor

ehan

d

84

Jam

es

Err n

o I a

ctua

lly g

ot a

ll m

y ph

otos

toge

ther

act

ually

bro

ught

all

my

phot

os b

efor

e I k

new

wha

t i

was

goi

ng to

writ

e

85

Int

Ok

ok

86

Ja

mes

I’

d so

rted

a lo

ad o

f pho

tos o

ut b

efor

e w

e w

ent t

here

87

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

88

Ja

mes

So

I’d

got t

hem

read

y an

d fil

led

in m

e vo

ice

roun

d th

e im

ages

So

rted

out i

mag

es fi

rst

89

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

90

Jam

es

So th

at’s

how

I di

d m

ine

91

In

t R

ight

.(.) s

o er

m a

nd h

ow w

as th

e pr

oces

s of l

ooki

ng a

t the

pho

tos?

‘cos

ther

e’s s

ome

of y

ou in

ho

spita

l and

fact

orie

s

92

Jam

es

yeah

ther

e’s s

ome

in h

ospi

tal a

nd so

me

of th

e ro

of w

here

I fe

ll an

d ev

eryt

hing

and

I th

ink

it (1

) lo

okin

g ba

ck n

ow it

’s d

one

me

good

‘cos

I do

n’t (

.) I’

m n

ot d

wel

ling

so m

uch

on th

e ac

cide

nt n

ow

Don

e hi

m g

ood

Doe

sn’t

dwel

l on

acci

dent

so m

uch

now

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Doe

sn’t

dwel

l on

acci

dent

so m

uch

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

Hel

ped

him

get

App

endi

x 7

23

now

cl

osur

e 93

In

t R

ight

94

Jam

es

And

I’ve

had

mor

e tra

uma

with

my

fath

er b

eing

ill t

his p

ast 1

2 m

onth

s and

dyi

ng (.

) but

(.) e

rr I

thin

k it’

s don

e m

e go

od th

at I’

ve o

pene

d th

is c

an o

f wor

ms

Don

e hi

m g

ood

Had

mor

e tra

uma

rece

ntly

with

fath

er

dyin

g

Posi

tive

impa

ct

V

ery

supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

95

Int

Rig

ht o

k

96

Jam

es

And

and

it is

ther

e fo

r peo

ple

to se

e St

ory

is th

ere

for p

eopl

e to

see

97

Int

Um

m

98

Ja

mes

I d

on’t

know

how

I’ve

not

logg

ed o

n I d

on’t

know

how

man

y pe

ople

hav

e

99

Int

Hm

m y

ou c

an’t

tell

actu

ally

100

Jam

es

Had

a lo

ok a

t min

e. W

heth

er it

’s d

one

any

good

I do

n’t k

now

D

on’t

know

whe

ther

it’

s don

e an

y go

od

Hop

es it

has

don

e so

me

good

W

antin

g to

hel

p ot

hers

10

1 In

t W

ell y

ou c

an’t

um I

mea

n um

I th

ink

I can

’t sa

y it’

s som

ethi

ng I

need

to lo

ok a

t

102

Jam

es

Sinc

e do

ing

this

dig

ital s

tory

obv

ious

ly I

mis

sed

that

laun

ch so

I’ve

not

real

ly h

eard

any

thin

g el

se

abou

t it s

ince

I di

d it

103

Int

Rig

ht

10

4 Ja

mes

So

it’s

just

the

impa

ct w

hat I

had

doi

ng it

and

how

I fe

el n

ow

10

5 In

t Y

eah

yeah

106

Jam

es

But

I fe

el b

ette

r for

doi

ng it

Fe

els a

lot b

ette

r for

do

ing

it Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

10

7 In

t Y

eah

10

8 Ja

mes

I’

m g

lad

I did

it

Gla

d he

did

it

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

109

Int

Goo

d go

od th

at’s

the

bit I

’m in

tere

sted

in

11

0 Ja

mes

Y

eah

11

1 In

t Y

our e

xper

ienc

e

112

Jam

es

As f

or fe

edba

ck (.

) I d

on’t

know

wha

t it’s

don

e fo

r any

body

I ho

pe p

eopl

e ha

ve lo

oked

at i

t and

it

does

som

e go

od

Hop

es it

has

don

e so

me

good

H

opes

it h

as d

one

som

e go

od

Wan

ting

to h

elp

othe

rs

113

Int

Yea

h

114

Jam

es

Cos

that

’s w

hy I

wan

ted

to d

o it

as w

ell.

I wan

ted

to d

o it

to h

elp

me

and

help

oth

er p

eopl

e D

id it

to h

elp

othe

r pe

ople

D

id it

to h

elp

othe

r peo

ple

Wan

ting

to h

elp

othe

rs

115

Int

Yea

h ye

s (.)

yeah

as I

say

I don

’t kn

ow a

nd I

do w

ant t

o fin

d ou

t a b

it m

ore

I kno

w so

me

of th

e st

orie

s hav

e ce

rtain

ly b

een

used

and

I th

ink

beca

use

(.) P

ip a

nd T

ony

won

this

aw

ard

rece

ntly

from

th

e B

ritis

h M

edic

al Jo

urna

l

116

Jam

es

Rig

ht ri

ght y

eah

11

7 In

t Fo

r inn

ovat

ion

in h

ealth

care

edu

catio

n

118

Jam

es

Oh

yeah

119

Int

So w

hich

is re

ally

pre

stig

ious

so y

ou k

now

I th

ink

a lo

t of p

eopl

e ha

ve lo

oked

at t

he w

ebsi

te

anyw

ay th

e w

ebsi

te’s

had

thou

sand

s and

thou

sand

s of h

its b

ut I

thin

k th

ings

like

that

and

mor

e

App

endi

x 7

24

peop

le a

re le

arni

ng a

bout

the

stor

ies

120

Jam

es

Yea

h an

d (in

audi

ble)

wha

t’s it

abo

ut y

eah

12

1 In

t So

I’m

sure

it w

ill a

nd a

nybo

dy w

ho se

es a

ny o

f the

stor

ies c

an’t

help

but

be

mov

ed b

y th

em

12

2 Ja

mes

Y

eah

and

hope

fully

it w

ill g

ive

som

e ho

pe to

oth

er p

eopl

e H

opef

ully

it w

ill g

ive

som

e ho

pe to

oth

er

peop

le

Hop

es it

has

don

e so

me

good

W

antin

g to

hel

p ot

hers

123

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

12

4 Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

that

’s th

e go

od th

ing

abou

t it I

mea

n w

e ha

ve th

ese

terr

ible

inci

dent

s in

our l

ife a

nd w

e ha

ve to

get

ove

r the

m d

on’t

we

Hav

e to

get

ove

r the

se

terr

ible

inci

dent

s in

our

lives

Rea

lises

that

he

has t

o m

ove

on

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

125

Int

Um

m u

mm

126

Jam

es

We

have

to c

arry

on

We

have

to c

arry

on

Rea

lises

that

he

has t

o m

ove

on

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 12

7 In

t W

ell y

eah

yes

12

8 Ja

mes

B

ut d

oing

a p

roce

ss li

ke th

at h

elps

you

get

it a

ll in

to e

rr (.

) seq

uenc

e Pr

oces

s hel

ps y

ou g

et

thin

gs in

ord

er

Mak

ing

sens

e of

pa

st

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 12

9 In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

it he

lps y

ou m

ake

mor

e se

nse

of it

per

haps

130

Jam

es

Even

thou

gh I’

m se

eing

a c

ouns

ello

r now

I’m

not

so m

uch

traum

atis

ed b

y m

e ac

cide

nt

Not

so tr

aum

atis

ed b

y ac

cide

nt n

ow

But

still

seei

ng a

co

unse

llor

Has

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

is

acci

dent

B

ut st

ill

stru

gglin

g

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

131

Int

Rig

ht

13

2 Ja

mes

C

os I

feel

as t

houg

h I’

ve li

fted

the

lid o

n it

(.) b

ut I’

m st

ill st

rugg

ling

(.) m

enta

l and

phy

sica

lly

Feel

s lik

e he

’s li

fted

the

lid o

n it

But

still

stru

gglin

g m

enta

lly &

phy

sica

lly

Has

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

is

acci

dent

B

ut st

ill

stru

gglin

g

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

133

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght r

ight

ok

yeah

yea

h

134

Jam

es

But

I’m

not

goi

ng b

ack

to th

e ac

cide

nt a

s muc

h as

I w

ere

Not

dw

ellin

g on

the

acci

dent

as m

uch

Doe

sn’t

dwel

l on

acci

dent

so m

uch

now

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

135

Int

Is th

is in

term

s of h

avin

g fla

shba

cks o

r jus

t rum

inat

ing

abou

t it

13

6 Ja

mes

Y

eah

just

life

in g

ener

al a

nd y

eah

alth

ough

I’ve

still

got

the

prob

lem

s now

they

don

’t se

em to

be

as

deep

as t

hey

wer

e Pr

oble

ms d

on’t

seem

as

bad

as th

ey w

ere

Has

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

is

acci

dent

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

137

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

13

8 Ja

mes

W

ith d

oing

this

and

kno

win

g it’

s on

a D

VD

ther

e

139

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

14

0 Ja

mes

It’

s lik

e pu

t it i

n its

littl

e pl

ace

14

1 In

t O

k ok

App

endi

x 7

25

142

Jam

es

It yo

u ge

t my

mea

ning

143

Int

Yea

h no

that

’s a

goo

d w

ay o

f put

ting

it ye

ah y

eah

14

4 Ja

mes

A

ll th

at tr

aum

a is

on

a lit

tle d

isk

now

A

ll th

e tra

uma

has b

een

put i

n its

pla

ce

Has

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

is

acci

dent

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

145

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

146

Jam

es

So I’

ve tr

ied

to k

eep

that

sepa

rate

now

(.) I

show

it p

eopl

e H

elps

him

kee

p it

sepa

rate

Sh

ows s

tory

to p

eopl

e

Has

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

is

acci

dent

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

147

Int

Oh

good

148

Jam

es

I mea

n I’

ve sh

own

me

solic

itor w

ho d

id m

y ca

se a

nd h

e w

ere

right

mov

ed b

y it

he th

ough

t it w

as a

ve

ry g

ood

idea

Sh

own

it to

solic

itor

who

was

ver

y m

oved

by

it

Hel

ped

him

to

shar

e hi

s sto

ry

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

149

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

15

0 Ja

mes

A

nd h

e th

ough

t you

kno

w it

wer

e go

od h

e’d

been

with

all

thro

ugh

the

acci

dent

you

r see

151

Int

Oh

right

ok

15

2 Ja

mes

Sa

w m

e in

hos

pita

l all

the

nine

yea

rs

15

3 In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

15

4 Ja

mes

So

it w

ere

he’s

bee

n a

big

part

of m

y lif

e as

such

so fo

r him

to se

e it

all i

n a

pack

age

like

that

so

15

5 In

t So

wou

ld y

ou sa

y it’

s gen

eral

ly h

elpe

d yo

u to

cos

one

of t

he th

ings

is y

ou c

an sh

are

your

stor

y em

in

term

s of s

how

ing

the

DV

D w

ith fr

iend

s fam

ily o

ther

inte

rest

ed p

artie

s but

do

thin

k it

has k

ind

of

help

ed y

ou to

be

mor

e op

en a

bout

thos

e so

rt of

156

Jam

es

I thi

nk it

has

I do

n’t s

hudd

er so

muc

h w

hen

I say

to p

eopl

e I’v

e ha

d a

fall

at w

ork

and

I can

just

ta

lk a

bout

it n

ow w

here

as b

efor

e I u

sed

to (1

) cow

er u

p ab

out i

t and

not

bot

her

Has

hel

ped

to b

e m

ore

open

abo

ut sh

arin

g hi

s st

ory

No

long

er a

nxio

us

abou

t tel

ling

peop

le h

is

stor

y

Hel

ped

him

to

shar

e hi

s sto

ry

Hel

ped

him

to b

e m

ore

open

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

157

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

158

Jam

es

But

I w

ent t

o w

ork

I fel

l and

I’m

her

e no

w so

I do

n’t s

eem

to d

wel

l on

it as

muc

h as

I do

and

eve

n lo

okin

g at

err

acc

iden

ts in

new

spap

er d

oesn

’t m

ake

me

as a

larm

ed a

s wha

t it u

sed

to d

o D

oesn

’t dw

ell o

n it

as

muc

h Le

ss a

nxio

us

Doe

sn’t

dwel

l on

acci

dent

so m

uch

now

Le

ss a

nxio

us

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

clos

ure

159

Int

So y

ou’r

e ge

tting

less

of a

reac

tion

16

0 Ja

mes

So

it’s

it’s

don

e m

e go

od b

ut I’

ve h

ad th

is o

ther

trau

ma

with

my

fam

ily

Did

him

goo

d Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

16

1 In

t Su

re su

re

16

2 Ja

mes

W

hich

has

set m

e ba

ck if

I ha

dn’t

have

had

that

B

een

set b

ack

by fa

ther

dy

ing

Still

stru

gglin

g H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

clos

ure

163

Int

Ok

ok

16

4 Ja

mes

Th

at li

ttle

set b

ack

agai

n I t

hink

thin

k I’

d lik

e to

mak

e an

othe

r if I

cou

ld n

ow to

clo

se th

is o

ther

W

ould

like

to m

ake

Wou

ld li

ke to

H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

App

endi

x 7

26

chap

ter w

ith m

e da

d co

s I’v

e be

en li

ke lo

okin

g af

ter h

im si

nce

my

acci

dent

on

and

off

anot

her o

ne a

bout

his

fa

ther

dyi

ng to

get

cl

osur

e

mak

e an

othe

r st

ory

to h

elp

deal

w

ith fa

ther

’s

deat

h

clos

ure

165

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght r

eally

166

Jam

es

And

he

he th

at’s

bee

n a

big

part

of e

very

thin

g an

d si

nce

my

acci

dent

we

wer

e re

ally

clo

se so

I w

ould

if I

ever

got

the

chan

ce to

do

anot

her o

ne

Was

clo

se to

fath

er

Wou

ld li

ke to

mak

e an

othe

r sto

ry

Wou

ld li

ke to

m

ake

anot

her

stor

y to

hel

p de

al

with

fath

er’s

de

ath

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

167

Int

Um

you

talk

ed a

bit

abou

t how

(.) c

ompa

red

to c

ouns

ellin

g se

eing

a p

sych

olog

ist a

nd h

ow th

is (.

) I

can’

t rem

embe

r the

exa

ct te

rms y

ou u

sed

but i

t see

med

to h

ave

mor

e of

an

impa

ct o

r allo

w y

ou to

ta

lk a

bout

thin

gs in

a d

iffer

ent w

ay o

r or

168

Jam

es

I thi

nk ‘c

os p

eopl

e ha

ve se

en it

and

it’s

all

proc

esse

d on

wha

t it’s

on

I mea

n er

r a lo

t of w

ork

I’ve

do

ne w

ith p

sych

olog

ists

I m

ean

I’ve

wro

te a

bout

me

acci

dent

(.) I

did

cog

nitiv

e be

havi

our t

hera

py

and

I did

a lo

t of w

ritin

g ab

out

Did

writ

ing

ther

apy

and

CB

T be

fore

but

did

n’t

wor

k

Mor

e ef

fect

ive

than

oth

er th

erap

y he

’d tr

ied

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

169

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

170

Jam

es

From

whe

n I w

ere

born

and

it d

idn’

t wor

k it

didn

’t w

ork

so I

thin

k th

at h

ad m

ore

of a

n im

pact

Th

e st

ory

had

mor

e of

an

impa

ct

Mor

e ef

fect

ive

than

oth

er th

erap

y he

’d tr

ied

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

171

Int

And

do

you

know

why

?

172

Jam

es

I don

’t kn

ow I

wen

t thr

u’ a

yea

r of c

ogni

tive

beha

viou

r the

rapy

writ

ing

abou

t me

life

and

tryin

g to

ge

t it a

ll in

ord

er a

nd ju

st d

oing

that

dig

ital s

tory

put

it a

ll D

id a

yea

r of C

BT

and

writ

ing

But

stor

y he

lped

mor

e

Mor

e ef

fect

ive

than

oth

er th

erap

y he

’d tr

ied

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

173

Int

Was

the

writ

ing

just

shar

ed w

ith th

e C

BT

ther

apis

t

174

Jam

es

Yea

h ju

st u

s tw

o ye

ah

17

5 In

t B

ecau

se th

ere’

s obv

ious

ly I

mea

n on

e of

the

thin

gs a

bout

dig

ital s

torie

s is i

t’s g

ot lo

ts o

f diff

eren

t el

emen

ts it

’s g

ot th

at c

reat

ive

writ

ing

and

sort

of w

ritin

g a

stor

y

176

Jam

es

Yea

h an

d I t

hink

bei

ng w

ith p

eopl

e be

ing

in a

situ

atio

n no

dis

rega

rd to

ther

apis

ts o

f any

thin

g bu

t th

ey h

aven

’t (.)

bee

n in

that

situ

atio

n an

d to

see

peop

le h

eart-

brok

en li

ke w

e al

l wer

e it

it th

at

mov

es y

ou m

ore

than

any

thin

g

Bei

ng w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

with

sim

ilar e

xper

ienc

e w

as v

ery

mov

ing

Rea

lly h

elpe

d

Oth

er st

orie

s w

ere

upse

tting

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

177

Int

Um

m u

mm

um

m

17

8 Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

cos

get

ting

to k

now

that

gro

up o

f peo

ple

for t

hem

thre

e da

ys a

nd w

hat p

ain

they

wer

e go

ing

thro

ugh

you

know

you

’re

not o

n yo

ur o

wn

Got

to k

now

oth

er

peop

le

Saw

thei

r pai

n K

new

he

was

not

alo

ne

Bei

ng w

ith

peop

le w

ho’d

be

en th

roug

h tra

umas

hel

ped

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

179

Int

And

it h

elps

you

to

18

0 Ja

mes

A

y it

did

me

it di

d m

e V

ery

help

ful

Ver

y he

lpfu

l V

ery

supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

App

endi

x 7

27

181

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

18

2 Ja

mes

M

enta

lly it

did

H

elpe

d m

enta

lly

Hel

ped

men

tally

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

18

3 In

t A

nd d

o yo

u th

ink

that

’s b

ecau

se (1

) jus

t bec

ause

you

feel

that

erm

(1) t

hat’s

its n

or(m

al)

18

4 Ja

mes

I t

hink

it’s

bec

ause

peo

ple

wer

e th

at in

tere

sted

in m

e an

d w

hat h

ad h

appe

ned

to m

e Pe

ople

wer

e in

tere

sted

in

him

C

arin

g gr

oup

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

185

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght y

eah

18

6 Ja

mes

C

os a

lot o

f peo

ple

aren

’t th

ey’r

e no

t bot

here

d Lo

t of p

eopl

e ar

en’t

both

ered

187

Int

Are

n’t t

hey

ok

18

8 Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

I’ve

had

acc

iden

t tha

t’s it

get

on

with

it y

ou k

now

189

Int

Yea

h

190

Jam

es

But

(.)

you

know

(.) I

thin

k th

e gr

oup

we

wer

e in

real

ly c

ared

abo

ut e

ach

othe

r err

(1) I

thin

k it

did

me

a lo

t of g

ood

bein

g op

en w

ith p

eopl

e w

ho’v

e ha

d a

traum

a th

an p

eopl

e w

ho’v

e no

t bee

n th

ru’ i

t yo

u se

e

Gro

up re

ally

car

ed

abou

t eac

h ot

her

Bei

ng w

ith p

eopl

e w

ho’d

bee

n th

roug

h si

mila

r tra

umas

real

ly

help

ed

Car

ing

grou

p

Bei

ng w

ith

peop

le w

ho’d

be

en th

roug

h tra

umas

hel

ped

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

191

Int

Um

m u

mm

(1) a

nd e

rm h

ow d

id y

ou fi

nd P

ip a

nd T

ony

and

Jo?

19

2 Ja

mes

I t

houg

ht th

ey w

as a

bsol

utel

y fa

ntas

tic

Faci

litat

ors w

ere

fant

astic

G

ood

faci

litat

ors

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

193

Int

Rig

ht o

k

194

Jam

es

You

cou

ldn’

t wis

h fo

r a b

ette

r gro

up o

f peo

ple

to d

o an

ythi

ng li

ke th

at w

ith so

they

just

mad

e yo

u fe

el a

t hom

e (.)

they

wer

e se

nsiti

ve th

ey tr

et y

ou (.

) the

y kn

ew w

hat t

hey

wer

e do

ing

cos i

t’s a

ver

y un

know

n te

rrito

ry th

ey’r

e ta

ppin

g in

to (.

) peo

ple’

s tra

uma

so th

ey’v

e go

t to

know

wha

t the

y’re

on

abou

t

Sens

itive

faci

litat

ors

Faci

litat

ors k

new

wha

t th

ey w

ere

doin

g

Sens

itive

fa

cilit

ator

s G

ood

faci

litat

ors

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

195

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

19

6 Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

I su

ppos

e so

me

peop

le it

can

real

ly u

pset

them

cos

it u

pset

me

a lo

t H

e fo

und

it ve

ry

upse

tting

V

ery

upse

tting

V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 19

7 In

t It

does

it d

oes

19

8 Ja

mes

B

ut I

thin

k th

e w

ay th

ey d

eal w

ith it

and

the

way

they

take

you

thru

it w

ere

mar

vello

us a

bsol

utel

y Fa

cilit

ator

s wer

e fa

ntas

tic

Goo

d fa

cilit

ator

s

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

199

Int

Goo

d go

od

20

0 Ja

mes

Fu

ll cr

edit

to th

em y

eah

I don

’t th

ink

it co

uld

have

bee

n ru

n an

y be

tter t

o be

hon

est

Cou

ldn’

t hav

e be

en

bette

red

Goo

d fa

cilit

ator

s

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

201

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

202

Jam

es

Even

thou

gh I

stru

ggle

d I w

as st

rugg

ling

with

me

own

feel

ing

not c

os h

ow th

ey w

ere

runn

ing

I w

as st

rugg

ling

cos o

f me

own

feel

ings

St

rugg

led

with

ow

n fe

elin

gs n

ot fa

cilit

atio

n V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 20

3 In

t I m

ean

to so

me

exte

nt y

our s

trugg

le d

iffic

ult e

mot

ions

they

are

alm

ost t

esta

men

t to

the

pow

er o

f it

App

endi

x 7

28

(.) h

ad th

ey n

ot c

reat

ed a

n at

mos

pher

e w

here

peo

ple

wer

e op

enin

g up

you

cou

ld h

ave

gone

and

sa

id y

eah

it w

as g

ood

it he

lped

me

to re

flect

abo

ut it

(.) a

lmos

t cos

they

did

cre

ate

this

atm

osph

ere

204

Jam

es

Yea

h I d

on’t

know

whe

ther

you

’ve

had

that

vie

w w

ith e

very

body

els

e

205

Int

Yea

h I h

ave

actu

ally

that

’s q

uite

erm

if y

ou li

ke th

e co

mm

on th

emes

are

that

the

faci

litat

ors w

ere

brill

iant

that

they

wer

e ve

ry c

arin

g th

e gr

oup

was

ver

y su

ppor

tive

206

Jam

es

They

wer

e ye

ah

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

grou

p V

ery

supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

207

Int

That

em

(.) e

very

body

’s st

orie

s wer

e tra

umat

ic w

ere

very

mov

ing

umm

so th

ose

wer

e ki

nd o

f you

kn

ow th

ere

wer

e lo

ts o

f oth

er th

ings

but

eve

rybo

dy so

rt of

repo

rted

that

(.) I

mea

n th

ere

are

diffe

renc

e as

wel

l bec

ause

peo

ple

cam

e in

to a

t diff

eren

t sta

ges o

f wha

t the

y w

ere

goin

g th

ru

208

Jam

es

But

I’d

been

bat

tling

with

mys

elf f

or a

lot o

f yea

rs w

ith th

is a

nd I

know

som

e pe

ople

had

onl

y ha

d a

rece

nt tr

aum

a w

ho w

ere

ther

e bu

t I se

emed

as t

houg

h I w

as g

oing

roun

d in

circ

les u

ntil

I did

that

H

ad b

een

goin

g ro

und

in c

ircle

s bef

ore

the

wor

ksho

p

Hel

ped

him

to

mov

ed fo

rwar

d H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

clos

ure

209

Int

Rig

ht d

espi

te a

ll th

e ot

her i

nput

that

you

wer

e ha

ving

210

Jam

es

That

I’ve

had

yea

h (1

) loo

king

at i

t now

(.) i

t mad

e an

impa

ct th

en a

nd I’

m g

lad

I did

it e

rr (1

) w

hich

has

pro

babl

y ha

ve p

ut m

e on

a st

eadi

er ro

ad th

an w

hat I

wou

ld h

ave

been

on

err I

mea

n I

wer

e on

ver

ge o

f doi

ng si

lly th

ings

at o

ne ib

t (.)

I’m

not

sayi

ng si

nce

this

dig

ital s

tory

but

ove

r the

la

st 1

2 m

onth

s I’v

e no

t bee

n th

at b

ad

Def

inite

impr

ovem

ent

in h

is m

enta

l hea

lth

Def

inite

im

prov

emen

t in

his m

enta

l hea

lth

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

211

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

212

Jam

es

So ta

ke th

at o

ut w

hat y

ou w

ant t

o ta

ke o

f it (

.) I’

m n

ot a

s bad

as I

wer

e co

s I w

as o

n ve

rge

of

com

mitt

ing

hari

kari

I’d

had

enou

gh

Def

inite

impr

ovem

ent

in h

is m

enta

l hea

lth

Def

inite

im

prov

emen

t in

his m

enta

l hea

lth

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

213

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

214

Jam

es

And

I’m

not

like

that

now

215

Int

No

no

21

6 Ja

mes

I’

m st

rugg

ling

but I

’m n

ot li

ke th

at

Still

stru

gglin

g bu

t m

uch

bette

r St

ill st

rugg

ling

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 21

7 In

t So

are

you

kin

d of

mor

e po

sitiv

e ab

out y

our f

utur

e ge

nera

lly

21

8 Ja

mes

I a

m n

ow a

nd I’

ve ta

lked

to th

is n

ew c

ouns

ello

r and

she’

s sai

d I c

an’t

belie

ve fr

om I’

ve o

nly

been

se

eing

her

for a

bout

5 w

eeks

I go

to M

ind

actu

ally

do

you

know

Min

d M

ore

posi

tive

abou

t his

fu

ture

M

ore

posi

tive

abou

t his

futu

re

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

219

Int

Yes

I do

kno

w M

ind

yes v

ery

wel

l

220

Jam

es

I go

to M

ind

and

she’

s jus

t see

n a

chan

ge in

me

and

I’m

wan

ting

to p

lan

my

futu

re n

ow a

nd y

eah

know

W

antin

g to

pla

n fo

r the

fu

ture

M

ore

posi

tive

abou

t his

futu

re

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

221

Int

Ok

ok

22

2 Ja

mes

A

nd b

efor

e 12

mon

ths a

go I

didn

’t w

ant t

o do

oug

ht I

didn

’t ev

en w

ant t

o w

ake

up in

the

mor

ning

an

d I w

ant t

o liv

e a

bit n

ow

Did

n’t w

ant t

o do

an

ythi

ng b

efor

e bu

t w

ants

to li

ve a

bit

now

Mor

e po

sitiv

e ab

out h

is fu

ture

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

223

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght o

k

224

Jam

es

So w

heth

er a

ll th

is h

as h

ad a

big

impa

ct o

n it

22

5 In

t W

ell y

eah

it so

unds

just

from

wha

t you

’re

sayi

ng it

has

had

a b

ig im

pact

226

Jam

es

Cos

it n

ot o

nly

me

in m

y lit

tle c

ocoo

n w

hose

had

an

acci

dent

(.) i

t’s n

o go

od fe

elin

g so

rry

for

He’

s not

alo

ne in

K

new

he

was

not

V

ery

supp

ortiv

e

App

endi

x 7

29

mes

elf a

nd th

ere’

s peo

ple

out t

here

and

I sa

w p

eopl

e th

at d

ay w

hose

had

bad

thin

gs a

s wel

l ha

ving

diff

icul

ties

Res

t of t

he g

roup

had

di

fficu

lties

as w

ell

alon

e B

eing

with

pe

ople

who

’d

been

thro

ugh

traum

as h

elpe

d

cont

ext

227

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

22

8 Ja

mes

So

you

kno

w g

et o

ut y

ours

elf f

or it

and

that

’s h

ow I

feel

229

Int

Wel

l it o

bvio

usly

seem

s to

be w

orki

ng

23

0 Ja

mes

St

op fe

elin

g so

rry

for y

ours

elf i

t’s h

appe

ning

to e

very

body

trau

mas

R

ealis

ed th

at e

very

one

has t

o de

al w

ith tr

aum

a an

d he

nee

d to

get

on

with

his

life

Hel

ped

him

to

com

e te

rms w

ith

past

H

elpe

d hi

m to

m

ove

forw

ard

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

231

Int

But

I w

onde

r whe

ther

ther

e’s s

omet

hing

in y

our (

1) in

you

r exp

erie

nce

of k

ind

of e

rm (.

) obv

ious

ly

you

have

bee

n th

ru so

met

hing

whi

ch is

ver

y tra

umat

ic (.

) sou

nds l

ike

you

wer

e ne

arly

kill

ed

wer

en’t

you

and

then

all

the

pain

232

Jam

es

Yea

h ye

ah

23

3 In

t A

nd th

e tra

uma

and

also

tryi

ng to

get

com

pens

atio

n

234

Jam

es

Yea

h it’

s bee

n a

ten

year

bat

tle

23

5 In

t Y

ou k

now

wha

t hap

pens

for (

.) a

lot o

f peo

ple

kind

of j

ust c

ope

with

thes

e di

ffic

ult s

ituat

ions

by

just

pus

hing

thin

gs d

own

and

they

don

’t ex

perie

nce

them

and

wha

t can

hap

pen

and

it ob

viou

sly

does

for s

ome

peop

le in

this

sor

t of s

ettin

g is

that

peo

ple

actu

ally

hav

e to

go

or th

ey g

o th

ru’ i

t ag

ain

and

they

re-e

xper

ienc

e it

thes

e th

ings

and

it n

o lo

nger

has

pow

er o

ver t

hem

so

236

Jam

es

I wer

e re

ally

ove

rwhe

lmed

with

them

thre

e da

ys y

ou it

kno

w e

very

so g

lad

I did

it b

ut it

wer

e to

ugh

cos I

’ve

neve

r bee

n th

ere

befo

re

Had

to re

live

his t

raum

a

Ver

y em

otio

nal

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

expe

rienc

e

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

237

Int

It’s k

ind

of li

ke fa

cing

you

r dem

ons i

sn’t

it

238

Jam

es

Yea

h H

ad to

face

dem

ons

Had

to fa

ce

dem

ons

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

239

Int

It’s l

ike

goin

g [o

ver r

eally

diff

icul

t thi

ng

24

0 Ja

mes

[lik

e op

enin

g a

box

up y

eah

Ope

ning

a b

ox

Had

to fa

ce

dem

ons

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

241

Int

And

you

com

e ou

t it t

he o

ther

side

242

Jam

es

And

I th

ink

look

ing

at m

e no

w I’

m a

lot b

ette

r per

son

that

I w

ere

12 m

onth

s ago

and

I’m

bet

ter

with

my

fam

ily y

eah

ther

e’s b

een

a lo

t of p

ositi

ves

He’

s a lo

t bet

ter p

erso

n no

w th

an 1

2 m

onth

s ag

o B

ette

r with

his

fam

ily

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

243

Int

Rig

ht y

eah

24

4 Ja

mes

B

ut 1

2 m

onth

s ago

I’d

had

enou

gh (.

) so

it’s a

pos

itive

and

I ha

ven’

t had

any

thin

g el

se I’

ve d

one

Cha

nge

is d

ue to

dig

ital

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Impr

oved

men

tal

App

endi

x 7

30

this

dig

ital s

tory

I ha

ven’

t bee

n do

ing

anyt

hing

els

e I’

m n

ot sa

ying

it’s

just

that

wha

t’s d

one

it st

ory

heal

th

245

Int

No

24

6 Ja

mes

B

ut it

had

such

a b

ig im

pact

that

I tu

rned

cor

ner a

bit

Had

a b

ig im

pact

H

elpe

d hi

m tu

rn a

co

rner

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

247

Int

Um

m u

mm

248

Jam

es

And

thou

gh c

ome

on n

ow le

t’s g

et o

n w

ith li

fe

Wan

t to

get o

n w

ith li

fe

Mor

e po

sitiv

e ab

out h

is fu

ture

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

24

9 In

t Y

eah

yeah

so w

hat I

thin

k m

aybe

just

goi

ng b

ack

to th

at (.

) thi

s sor

t of w

hat y

ou sa

id e

arlie

r and

ju

st re

peat

ed th

en a

bout

get

ting

on w

ith li

fe th

ere’

s may

be s

omet

hing

abo

ut th

e fa

ct th

at y

ou’v

e go

t al

l thi

s the

se th

ings

goi

ng o

n in

you

r hea

d th

is tr

aum

a th

e m

emor

ies o

r wha

teve

r and

the

fact

that

yo

u ki

nd o

f fac

e th

em fo

r 3 d

ays i

n th

at so

rt of

env

ironm

ent

250

Jam

es

Yea

h

251

Int

You

kin

d of

face

them

and

you

wor

k th

em th

ru a

nd m

ake

a bi

t mor

e se

nse

out o

f it

25

2 Ja

mes

Y

eah

25

3 In

t A

nd th

at k

ind

of a

llow

s you

to m

ove

forw

ard

25

4 Ja

mes

Y

eah

it di

d

255

Int

Is th

at a

fair

25

6 Ja

mes

I’

d go

t a b

ig b

ox o

f thi

ngs s

tuff

ed a

way

they

wer

e al

l ove

r the

pla

ce

25

7 In

t Y

eah

25

8 Ja

mes

A

nd I

took

that

lot o

ut a

nd I’

ve d

ealt

with

that

bit

and

I thi

nk th

at’s

wha

t’s h

elpe

d m

e m

ove

on

Has

sorte

d a

lot o

f th

ings

out

now

and

so

can

mov

e on

Hel

ped

him

to

mov

e fo

rwar

d H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

clos

ure

259

Int

Yea

h an

d no

w it

’s o

n yo

ur D

VD

wha

teve

r and

it

26

0 Ja

mes

Y

eah

and

I’m

qui

te p

roud

of i

t as w

ell

Prou

d of

DV

D

Plea

sed

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

261

Int

Yea

h w

ell y

ou sh

ould

be

26

2 Ja

mes

I t

hink

it’s

goo

d

263

Int

Yea

h it

is

26

4 Ja

mes

A

nd w

hat t

hey

allo

wed

us t

o do

in th

ree

days

to sa

y I’

d ne

ver u

sed

a co

mpu

ter b

efor

e or

any

thin

g N

ot u

sed

a co

mpu

ter

befo

re –

em

pow

erin

g Em

pow

erin

g V

ery

supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t 26

5 In

t R

ight

had

n’t y

ou

26

6 Ja

mes

St

ill c

an’t

now

and

I w

ere

mov

ing

thin

gs h

ere

mov

ing

thin

gs th

ere

and

I wer

e he

lpin

g ot

hers

in th

e en

d (la

ught

er)

267

Int

Yea

h (la

ught

er)

26

8 Ja

mes

A

nd I’

d ne

ver b

een

on a

com

pute

r bef

ore

(laug

hter

) so

ther

e w

ere

a lo

t of p

ositi

ves a

ctua

lly it

wer

e go

od

Lots

of p

ositi

ves

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

26

9 In

t U

mm

um

m so

I m

ean

you

did

wel

l you

said

you

cou

ldn’

t fau

lt th

e fa

cilit

ator

s and

the

set u

p

270

Jam

es

Mea

n th

e se

tting

was

love

ly

Setti

ng w

as lo

vely

Su

ppor

tive

envi

ronm

ent

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

271

Int

Goo

d it

is n

ice

I onl

y vi

site

d it

at th

e be

ginn

ing

and

the

end

so b

ut w

ere

(1) I

mea

n th

ere

wer

e

App

endi

x 7

31

nega

tives

not

nec

essa

rily

abou

t the

wor

ksho

p bu

t abo

ut

272

Jam

es

Oh

no

No

nega

tives

27

3 In

t A

bout

how

it le

aves

you

afte

rwar

ds y

ou w

ere

sayi

ng y

ou fe

lt qu

ite

27

4 Ja

mes

V

ery

frag

ile

Left

feel

ing

very

frag

ile

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

275

Int

Shak

ey

27

6 Ja

mes

Y

eah

I wer

e

277

Int

For s

ever

al w

eeks

afte

r

278

Jam

es

A b

it lo

w li

ke I

thin

k it

wer

e w

orth

it

Felt

a bi

t low

for

seve

ral w

eeks

but

it w

as

wor

th it

Left

him

feel

ing

shak

en

Ver

y di

ffic

ult

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

279

Int

Yea

h it

soun

ds li

ke it

def

inite

ly

28

0 Ja

mes

Y

eah

yeah

it w

ere

wor

th it

281

Int

So d

id y

ou e

rm

28

2 Ja

mes

I d

on’t

know

if so

me

peop

le it

mig

ht to

uch

the

nerv

e I d

on’t

know

it if

cou

ld se

nd p

eopl

e a

diffe

rent

way

283

Int

Wel

l it y

eah

yeah

284

Jam

es

I don

’t kn

ow if

it c

ould

be

too

muc

h so

met

imes

285

Int

Wel

l I th

ink

that

’s w

hy h

avin

g th

e (.)

you

kno

w th

e fa

cilit

ator

s who

wer

e th

ere

to b

e ve

ry se

nsiti

ve

and

kind

of p

ick

up o

n th

at a

nd e

m th

at c

an h

appe

n an

d su

ppos

e it’

s whe

re th

e sk

ill o

f the

fa

cilit

ator

s to

say

wel

l ok

actu

ally

that

’s b

ut m

aybe

you

’re

not r

eady

to ta

lk a

bout

286

Jam

es

I don

’t th

ink

any

of y

ou g

roup

fell

over

the

edge

I do

n’t t

hink

287

Int

Wel

l I w

asn’

t the

re b

ut y

ou a

ll co

mpl

eted

you

r sto

ries

28

8 Ja

mes

I m

ean

now

I’m

won

derin

g if

its if

any

peo

ple

regr

et d

oing

now

out

of t

he g

roup

289

Int

Wel

l I th

ink

29

0 Ja

mes

W

heth

er it

wer

e to

o m

uch

for t

hem

you

see

29

1 In

t Y

eah

I thi

nk th

ere

is a

dan

ger a

t oth

er e

rr u

m (.

) oth

er so

rt of

sim

ilar s

tudi

es li

ke a

roun

d w

ritin

g th

erap

y it

can

stir

thin

gs u

p pe

ople

feel

wor

se q

uite

shel

l sho

cked

for t

he k

ind

of y

our k

now

ho

wev

er m

any

days

or w

eeks

it is

afte

rwar

ds b

ut th

en th

ey fe

el m

ore

posi

tive

292

Jam

es

Like

I’ve

don

e ye

ah

29

3 In

t So

it c

ould

be

that

ther

e is

risk

that

it c

ould

kin

d of

uns

ettle

thin

gs a

nd so

in te

rms o

f thi

s gro

up

you’

re th

e si

xth

pers

on th

ere

wer

e ni

ne p

eopl

e an

d I’

ll be

seei

ng P

ep in

a m

inut

e sh

e’s t

he se

vent

h th

ere’

s tw

o ot

hers

who

did

n’t g

et b

ack

in to

uch

so a

t lea

st fo

r the

seve

n

294

Jam

es

It’s a

ll po

sitiv

e

295

Int

Wel

l it’s

com

e ou

t pos

itive

296

Jam

es

Yea

h ye

ah

29

7 In

t Th

ru th

ru

29

8 Ja

mes

N

obod

y’s h

ad a

real

ly sh

ocki

ng si

de e

ffec

t fro

m it

like

299

Int

No

no

30

0 Ja

mes

Th

at’s

wha

t I w

ere

mea

ning

if a

nybo

dy

App

endi

x 7

32

301

Int

And

I th

ink

the

thin

g is

like

you

say

it’s i

n th

e co

ntex

t of e

very

thin

g el

se th

at g

oes o

n in

you

r life

be

caus

e yo

u’ve

bee

n ca

ring

for y

our f

athe

r and

now

he’

s pas

sed

away

and

that

obv

ious

ly a

real

ly

sign

ifica

nt th

ing

and

ther

e w

ill b

e th

ose

othe

r eve

nts s

o

302

Jam

es

Yea

h

303

Int

So it

’s h

ad a

pos

itive

impa

ct (.

) ver

y di

ffic

ult p

roce

ss e

rm I’

m w

onde

ring

whe

ther

erm

(.) b

ecau

se

you

wen

t int

o it

real

ly to

shar

e yo

ur st

ory

so th

at o

ther

peo

ple

coul

d be

nefit

whe

ther

that

(1)

whe

ther

the

actu

al e

xper

ienc

e w

as d

iffer

ent t

han

if yo

u’d

gone

on

like

a ki

nd o

f thr

ee w

orks

hop

whi

ch w

as a

bout

you

ope

ning

you

r sui

tcas

e up

do

you

I kno

w th

at is

par

t of y

our e

xpec

tatio

n ju

st

cos I

thin

k th

ey o

bvio

usly

are

impo

rtant

304

Jam

es

Yea

h ye

ah

Wan

ting

to h

elp

othe

rs

was

impo

rtant

W

ante

d to

hel

p ot

hers

W

antin

g to

hel

p ot

hers

30

5 In

t So

306

Jam

es

But

err

that

’s m

y m

ain

obje

ctiv

e no

w is

to k

eep

help

ing

peop

le th

at’s

why

I st

ill d

o a

little

bit

for

men

tal h

ealth

now

if I

can

help

307

Int

Yea

h an

d yo

ur w

ere

doin

g th

at b

efor

e an

d th

is is

par

t of t

hat k

ind

of th

eme

in y

our l

ife

30

8 Ja

mes

A

nd I

still

do

a lit

tle b

it it’

s mad

e m

e m

ore

wan

t to

help

peo

ple

as w

ell

Has

mad

e hi

m w

ant t

o he

lp m

ore

peop

le

Wan

ts to

hel

p ot

hers

W

antin

g to

hel

p ot

hers

30

9 In

t Y

eah

31

0 Ja

mes

A

nd I

hope

this

stor

y do

es h

elp

peop

le

Hop

e’s t

he st

ory

does

he

lp p

eopl

e W

ante

d to

hel

p ot

hers

W

antin

g to

hel

p ot

hers

31

1 In

t I’

m su

re it

will

312

Jam

es

And

I’d

be w

illin

g to

go

and

talk

to a

nybo

dy a

bout

it

Wou

ld b

e w

illin

g to

ta

lk to

any

body

abo

ut it

W

ants

to h

elp

othe

rs

Wan

ting

to h

elp

othe

rs

313

Int

Ok

ok y

eah

31

4 Ja

mes

Y

ou k

now

315

Int

Wel

l I k

now

Mia

has

bee

n us

ing

the

stor

ies I

’m n

ot su

re w

hich

one

s as p

art o

f the

indu

ctio

n sh

e’s

very

kee

n on

it th

ough

you

’re

in to

uch

with

her

316

Jam

es

Yea

h re

gula

rly m

e an

d M

ia y

eah

31

7 In

t Y

eah

so th

at’s

an

aven

ue so

(2) I

mea

n I t

hink

we’

ve c

over

ed

31

8 Ja

mes

I c

an’t

thin

k of

any

thin

g el

se it

’s e

rr

31

9 In

t I s

uppo

se p

art o

f it i

s the

err

(.) I

mea

n yo

urs c

lear

ly y

ou k

now

hav

ing

the

acci

dent

was

ver

y tra

umat

ic a

nd g

oing

bac

k to

look

at i

t stil

l see

ms v

ery

traum

atic

but

is th

ere

I’m

just

won

derin

g w

heth

er lo

okin

g at

it in

that

erm

con

text

to se

e it

in a

diff

eren

t mor

e po

sitiv

e

320

Jam

es

It do

es n

ow c

os I

can

put i

t on

now

and

I do

n’t t

hink

It’d

hav

e hu

rt m

e as

muc

h as

it u

sed

to

Abl

e to

talk

and

thin

k ab

out t

he a

ccid

ent

with

out f

eelin

g so

hur

t

Mor

e op

en n

ow

Com

e to

term

s w

ith p

ast

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 32

1 In

t R

ight

righ

t

322

Jam

es

Or u

sed

to ta

lk a

bout

it

32

3 In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

32

4 Ja

mes

I’

d ha

ve n

o pr

oble

ms p

uttin

g it

on n

ow w

ith so

me

peop

le in

her

e an

d er

r Is

ok

to sh

ow h

is st

ory

Com

e to

term

s H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

App

endi

x 7

33

to a

nybo

dy n

ow

with

pas

t cl

osur

e 32

5 In

t R

ight

ok

32

6 Ja

mes

I t

hink

I’d

be c

omfy

with

it

32

7 In

t R

ight

ok

so I

supp

ose

that

’s

32

8 Ja

mes

W

hich

is a

pos

itive

Pl

ease

d th

at h

e ca

n be

so

ope

n ab

out i

t M

ore

open

now

Impr

oved

men

tal

heal

th

329

Int

So I

supp

ose

it’s a

lmos

t lik

e w

hat y

ou’r

e sa

ying

is li

ke o

bvio

usly

the

stor

ies t

he sa

me

and

wha

t’s

happ

ened

in y

our p

ast i

s the

sam

e

330

Jam

es

But

I th

ink

it’s c

onta

ined

now

Th

inks

trau

ma

is

cont

aine

d no

w

Com

e to

term

s w

ith p

ast

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 33

1 In

t Y

eah

you

can

rela

te to

it th

at’s

hap

pene

d he

re I

am n

ow

33

2 Ja

mes

It’

s not

all

here

now

it’s

her

e an

d I c

an u

sed

it

333

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

33

4 Ja

mes

It’

ll al

way

s be

ther

e in

its l

ittle

pac

kage

you

kno

w it

just

doe

sn’t

seem

(1) I

mea

n m

e ac

cide

nt u

sed

to ta

ke 9

5% o

f my

brai

n sp

ace

away

Tr

aum

a is

con

tain

ed in

th

e D

VD

rath

er th

an

goin

g ro

und

his h

ead

Com

e to

term

s w

ith p

ast

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e

335

Int

Rig

ht o

k

336

Jam

es

And

now

it d

on’t

now

N

o lo

nger

con

sum

ed b

y tra

uma

Com

e to

term

s w

ith p

ast

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 33

7 In

t A

nd n

ow y

ou’v

e be

en a

ble

to sh

are

that

338

Jam

es

And

now

I ca

n do

oth

er th

ings

and

mov

e on

a li

ttle

bit

Can

now

mov

e fo

rwar

d H

elpe

d hi

m to

m

ove

forw

ard

Hel

ped

him

get

cl

osur

e 33

9 In

t B

ecau

se o

ne o

f the

thin

gs in

the

liter

atur

e is

abo

ut th

at e

rm (.

) it’s

alm

ost l

ike

erm

in te

rms o

f ke

epin

g se

cret

s

340

Jam

es

Yea

h N

o lo

nger

has

to k

eep

it a

secr

et

Mor

e op

en n

ow

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

34

1 In

t To

kee

p a

secr

et u

ses l

ike

you

wer

e sa

ying

95%

of y

our b

rain

it u

ses

34

2 Ja

mes

B

ut it

’s n

ot a

secr

et n

ow it

’s o

ut

Can

be

open

abo

ut

acci

dent

M

ore

open

now

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

34

3 In

t Li

ke if

you

mee

t som

ebod

y an

d th

ey d

on’t

know

you

and

you

nee

d to

talk

abo

ut w

hat y

ou d

o or

w

hat y

ou u

sed

to d

o

344

Jam

es

Yea

h ye

ah

34

5 In

t O

r why

you

wal

k w

ith a

stic

k or

wha

teve

r

346

Jam

es

Yea

h th

at’s

it

Can

be

open

abo

ut

acci

dent

M

ore

open

now

Im

prov

ed m

enta

l he

alth

34

7 In

t It’

s kin

d of

you

kno

w k

eepi

ng a

secr

et a

bout

that

or b

eing

abl

e to

say

yeah

I ha

d an

acc

iden

t (.)

it’s

wha

t hap

pens

348

Jam

es

But

I’m

def

inite

ly m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d w

hich

is a

goo

d th

ing

in e

very

way

wel

l my

fam

ily a

re h

appy

as

wel

l Is

now

def

inite

ly

mov

ing

forw

ard

Hel

ped

him

to

mov

e fo

rwar

d H

elpe

d hi

m g

et

clos

ure

349

Int

Wel

l tha

t’s it

350

Jam

es

I wer

e ge

tting

a fu

nny

old

sod

(laug

hter

)

App

endi

x 7

34

351

Int

(laug

hter

) wel

l you

wou

ldn’

t be

the

only

per

son

so (.

) is t

here

any

thin

g el

se y

ou w

ant t

o sa

y

352

Jam

es

I don

’t th

ink

so M

ark.

I th

ink

I’ve

said

eve

ryth

ing

that

’s c

ome

to m

e an

yway

353

Int

Yea

h

354

Jam

es

Yea

h

355

Int

Ok

than

k yo

u I’

ll en

d it

ther

e

Julie

tran

scri

pt a

naly

sis

Sec

tion

Firs

t ord

er c

odin

g Se

cond

ord

er

codi

ng

Inte

rvie

w th

emes

1 In

t So

erm

how

did

you

find

the

proc

ess o

vera

ll?

2

Julie

I f

ound

it re

ally

inte

rest

ing

and

real

ly in

tere

stin

g on

lots

of d

iffer

ent l

evel

s (.)

erm

obv

ious

ly fr

om

an e

mot

iona

l lev

el th

at w

as re

ally

inte

rest

ing

erm

als

o fr

om a

cat

harti

c po

int o

f vie

w

Inte

rest

ing

Diff

eren

t lev

els

Emot

iona

l C

atha

rtic

Enga

gem

ent

Com

plex

ity

Emot

iona

l C

atha

rtic

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e C

atha

rtic

expe

rienc

e 3

Int

Rig

ht

4

Julie

I f

ound

it in

cred

ibly

cat

harti

c w

hich

I su

ppos

e in

man

y w

ays I

was

exp

ectin

g er

m (.

) you

kno

w th

e tw

o th

ings

that

I’ve

men

tione

d to

be

prof

ound

but

per

haps

not

qui

te a

s pro

foun

d as

it w

as e

rm a

nd

emot

iona

lly a

real

ly c

halle

ngin

g jo

urne

y er

m so

a m

ixed

arr

ay o

f em

otio

ns (.

) and

just

real

ly tr

ying

to

do

it fr

om a

ver

y ho

nest

per

spec

tive

(1) I

err

yea

h fo

und

it er

m it

was

a jo

urne

y an

d I r

emem

ber

sayi

ng to

Pip

in th

e

Cat

harti

c Pr

ofou

nd

Rea

lly c

halle

ngin

g jo

urne

y M

ixed

arr

ay o

f em

otio

ns

Cat

harti

c Pr

ofou

nd

Cha

lleng

ing

Jour

ney

Emot

iona

l

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e

5 In

t R

ight

yea

h

6 Ju

lie

In th

e de

brie

fing

on th

e la

st d

ay I

rem

embe

r mak

ing

the

anal

ogy

to a

lmos

t som

ethi

ng q

uite

sp

iritu

al b

ut I

thin

k it’

s bec

ause

we

lead

such

bus

y liv

es th

at I

had

the

time

to fo

cus o

n m

e w

hich

M

ark

is v

ery

rare

bei

ng a

wor

king

mum

Qui

te sp

iritu

al

Tim

e to

focu

s on

me

Rar

e op

portu

nity

Spiri

tual

R

efle

ctio

n R

are

oppo

rtuni

ty

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

7 In

t Y

eah

sure

righ

t rig

ht

8

Julie

A

nd it

was

erm

man

y w

ays i

t fel

t qui

te c

onte

mpl

ativ

e co

ntem

plat

ive

R

efle

ctio

n

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 9

Int

Um

m u

mm

10

Julie

A

nd it

’s o

nly

som

etim

es w

hen

we

stan

d st

ill th

at w

e ca

n re

ally

feel

and

hea

r wha

t’s g

oing

on

so

yeah

I fo

und

it ve

ry e

mot

iona

l but

real

ly w

onde

rful

R

eally

feel

& h

ear w

hat

is g

oing

on

Ver

y em

otio

nal

Won

derf

ul

Ref

lect

ion

Prof

ound

Em

otio

nal

Won

derf

ul

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

11

Int

Hm

m

App

endi

x 7

35

12

Julie

B

ut it

trul

y lo

okin

g ba

ck in

ans

wer

to y

our q

uest

ion

it fe

lt lik

e a

real

jour

ney

that

I w

ent o

n R

eal j

ourn

ey

Jour

ney

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 13

In

t R

ight

14

Julie

A

nd I

supp

ose

may

be h

ence

mak

ing

the

anal

ogy

of fe

elin

g sp

iritu

al in

som

e w

ay

Spi

ritua

l exp

erie

nce

Spiri

tual

Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

15

Int

Hm

m h

mm

16

Julie

G

ettin

g to

(lau

ghte

r) g

ettin

g to

(.) I

supp

ose

quite

ofte

n w

e pu

t a p

last

er o

ver o

ur e

mot

ions

and

we

just

try

and

disg

uise

thin

gs a

s bes

t we

can

and

this

felt

real

ly p

ainf

ul b

ecau

se y

ou’r

e ta

king

the

plas

ter o

ff an

d yo

u’re

just

alm

ost g

ettin

g to

the

very

root

cau

se o

f wha

t’s g

oing

on

erm

yea

h

Rea

lly p

ainf

ul

Like

taki

ng th

e pl

aste

r of

f G

ettin

g cl

ose

to th

e ro

ot

caus

e

Pain

ful

Dee

p ex

perie

nce

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e

17

Int

Gre

at th

ank

you

ther

e’s a

n aw

ful l

ot in

that

18

Julie

W

as th

ere

sorr

y (la

ught

er) s

orry

19

Int

No

that

’s g

ood

that

’s g

ood

it’s a

ver

y ve

ry ri

ch a

rea

so c

an y

ou sa

y ab

out a

bit

your

reas

ons f

or

taki

ng p

art

20

Julie

Y

eah

I rem

embe

r whe

n (.)

I w

as a

ctua

lly o

ff d

urin

g M

ay c

os a

s you

kno

w I

wor

k te

rm ti

me

and

was

off

dur

ing

that

per

iod

and

I was

alre

ady

doin

g so

me

othe

r wor

k an

d it

was

whe

n m

y co

lleag

ue

said

she’

d re

ceiv

ed th

e em

ail a

nd I

just

thou

ght i

t was

too

muc

h of

a w

onde

rful

pro

ject

to le

t go

so

I rem

embe

r tak

ing

my

girls

bac

k to

the

offic

e th

at d

ay ju

st to

star

t sen

ding

out

lette

rs e

rm c

os it

felt

like

I wan

ted

to b

e a

part

of it

and

I di

dn’t

wan

t to

mis

s

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

21

Int

Had

you

com

e ac

ross

it b

efor

e?

22

Ju

lie

I cam

e ac

ross

it a

hem

just

whe

n I s

tarte

d in

this

pos

t so

it w

as th

e Se

ptem

ber p

rior t

o yo

u er

r

23

Int

Less

than

a y

ear b

efor

e I c

onta

cted

you

24

Julie

Le

ss th

an a

yea

r (.)

it w

as a

pat

ient

and

pub

lic in

volv

emen

t reg

iona

l lea

ds m

eetin

g th

at’s

sort

of

quar

terly

and

it w

as so

meo

ne fr

om B

radf

ord

had

show

n a

film

and

it w

as to

do

with

a y

oung

med

ic

in tr

aini

ng a

nd F

ay m

y co

lleag

ue a

nd I

sat t

here

and

the

tear

s jus

t pou

red

I jus

t fou

nd it

so u

tterly

po

igna

nt y

eah

it w

as th

e w

ay in

whi

ch th

e yo

ung

med

ic w

as a

ctua

lly se

eing

the

elde

rly p

erso

n no

t ju

st a

s err

Kne

w th

e st

orie

s cou

ld

be p

oign

ant

Pow

er o

f sto

ries

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

25

Int

It is

the

one

whe

re th

e gu

y di

es in

thea

tre

26

Ju

lie

No

27

In

t O

h ok

28

Julie

H

e’s t

ryin

g to

cat

hete

rise

an e

lder

ly w

oman

29

Int

Yes

yes

I kn

ow th

e on

e

30

Julie

A

nd w

hy I

foun

d it

so p

oign

ant I

thin

k it

was

the

way

he

was

refle

ctin

g in

the

busy

ness

of h

is

care

er I

gues

s it’s

ver

y ea

sy to

see

som

eone

as j

ust a

bod

y bu

t he’

d ac

tual

ly li

nked

it to

the

pers

on

erm

and

ther

e w

as a

noth

er o

ne a

bout

a w

oman

hav

ing

I thi

nk it

was

arth

ritis

(.) e

rm h

er h

usba

nd

was

her

car

er a

nd I

just

sat t

here

and

ahh

I ju

st fo

und

it am

azin

g an

d it

was

just

seei

ng e

rr I

thin

k co

s I w

asn’

t exp

ectin

g it

Seen

som

e am

azin

g st

orie

s bef

ore

Pow

er o

f sto

ries

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

App

endi

x 7

36

31

Int

Rig

ht

32

Ju

lie

And

that

was

the

first

tim

e I c

ame

acro

ss it

(.) s

o fr

om th

en I

just

goo

gled

and

I ju

st th

ough

t thi

s is

terr

ific

so w

hen

(.) y

ou c

onta

cted

the

Trus

t it w

as li

ke h

ey y

our k

now

it w

ould

be

fant

astic

to g

et

peop

le in

volv

ed in

it (.

) yea

h so

the

first

tim

e w

hen

we

wen

t whe

n w

e m

et in

the

tow

n ha

ll an

d I

met

Pip

and

you

wer

e th

ere

and

ever

yone

els

e I w

as a

lread

y so

ld in

a w

ay b

ut I

didn

’t fe

el th

at I

coul

d ha

ve a

pla

ce b

ecau

se I

was

ther

e su

ppor

ting

Thou

ght i

t wou

ld b

e gr

eat t

o us

e th

e st

orie

s in

SH

SC

Util

ity

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

33

Int

Yea

h

34

Julie

Y

ou k

now

I ju

st th

ough

t tha

t I re

ally

real

ly w

ante

d to

do

it bu

t I d

idn’

t fee

l abl

e to

do

that

and

it

was

onl

y w

hen

you

know

I w

as lu

cky

to g

et a

pla

ce th

at’s

wha

t I’m

sayi

ng e

rm b

ut I

rem

embe

r du

ring

that

day

I tri

ed to

erm

som

eone

ther

e sa

ying

I ca

n’t s

ee th

e po

int o

f thi

s and

rem

embe

r the

n go

ing

into

my

mar

ketin

g an

d se

lling

mod

e sa

ying

it c

ould

real

ly b

enef

it yo

u bu

t cle

arly

it w

asn’

t rig

ht fo

r thi

s par

ticul

arly

lady

but

yes

Rea

lly w

ante

d to

mak

e a

stor

y ha

ving

seen

th

em b

efor

e Th

ough

t the

stor

ies

wer

e gr

eat

Enth

usia

sm

Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

U

sefu

lnes

s of

stor

ies

35

Int

Rig

ht o

k (la

ught

er)

36

Ju

lie

(Lau

ghte

r)

37

In

t So

(.) s

o I t

hink

wha

t you

are

sayi

ng is

you

’d a

lread

y se

en th

e st

orie

s fou

nd th

em e

xtre

mel

y po

wer

ful a

nd m

ovin

g Fo

und

the

stor

ies t

o be

po

wer

ful a

nd m

ovin

g Po

wer

of s

torie

s U

sefu

lnes

s of

stor

ies

38

Julie

Y

es

39

In

t A

nd th

ough

t it’d

be

cons

eque

ntly

a g

ood

thin

g to

do

in S

heff

ield

and

be

able

to

40

Ju

lie

Abs

olut

ely

41

In

t U

se th

ose

stor

ies w

ithin

the

Trus

t to

(inau

dibl

e)

42

Ju

lie

I thi

nk it

was

als

o fo

r me

just

a d

iffer

ent w

ay o

f doi

ng th

ings

look

ing

a th

ings

from

a c

reat

ive

poin

t of

vie

w

Like

that

it w

as

diffe

rent

and

cre

ativ

e U

tility

C

reat

ivity

U

sefu

lnes

s of

stor

ies

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 43

In

t U

mm

44

Julie

A

nd it

’s c

omin

g fr

om th

e he

art

Stor

ies c

ame

from

the

hear

t D

eep

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 45

In

t U

mm

46

Julie

So

meo

ne is

n’t b

eing

told

wha

t to

say

they

’re

not h

avin

g w

ord

put i

n th

eir m

outh

s its

com

ing

from

th

e he

art a

nd th

at’s

impo

rtant

Im

porta

nt th

at st

orie

s co

me

from

the

hear

t D

eep

Aut

hent

icity

H

ones

ty

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 47

In

t Y

eah

yeah

gre

at (.

) so

kind

of t

he n

ext q

uest

ions

I’ve

got

dow

n he

re re

ally

rela

te to

how

you

felt

durin

g th

e pr

oces

s (.)

afte

r the

pro

cess

and

kin

d of

kno

w 6

mon

ths d

own

the

line

48

Julie

Y

eah

it w

as in

tere

stin

g at

firs

t cos

whe

n I r

ealis

ed th

at I

was

luck

y en

ough

to h

ave

a pl

ace

I st

raig

ht a

way

thou

ght I

’ll d

o so

met

hing

on

PPI p

atie

nt a

nd p

ublic

invo

lvem

ent t

hat w

as m

y in

itial

th

ough

ts c

os I

thou

ght (

.) I w

ant t

o gi

ve so

met

hing

bac

k to

the

Trus

t and

I di

dn’t

wan

t to

be se

lfish

an

d it

was

onl

y er

r so

I was

real

ly to

ying

with

this

Wan

ted

to g

ive

som

ethi

ng b

ack

to th

e Tr

ust

49

Int

Um

m u

mm

50

Julie

It

was

that

nig

ht b

efor

e th

e fir

st d

ay o

f the

trai

ning

that

I ha

d a

drea

m fo

rgiv

e m

e if

I sou

nd li

ke

Dre

amt a

bout

Mum

App

endi

x 7

37

Mar

tin L

uthe

r Kin

g bu

t I h

ad a

dre

am a

nd in

the

drea

m M

um w

as a

bsol

utel

y vi

vid

and

it w

as m

e fin

ding

all

the

lette

rs

51

Int

Rig

ht y

es th

at y

our r

efer

to in

the

stor

y

52

Julie

A

nd it

was

rela

ting

back

to th

at a

nd I

just

thou

ght a

ctua

lly (.

) yes

so a

nyw

ay w

hen

I got

to

Whi

rlow

Gra

nge

that

day

I w

as st

ill th

inki

ng a

m I

bein

g se

lfish

shou

ld I

do P

PI w

hat w

ill b

enef

it an

d it

was

onl

y w

hen

we

sat r

ound

and

Pip

said

you

kno

w w

hat h

ave

your

cho

sen

that

I sa

id I

wou

ld li

ke to

focu

s on

Mum

(1) w

hile

rela

ting

this

stor

y bu

t als

o it

was

bec

ause

I w

ante

d to

be

on

the

sam

e jo

urne

y ev

eryb

ody

else

was

Wan

ted

to d

o a

pers

onal

st

orie

s rat

her t

han

wor

k re

late

d to

be

on th

e sa

me

jour

ney

as th

e ot

her p

eopl

e

Ope

nnes

s Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

53

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

54

Ju

lie

I fel

t if I

did

som

ethi

ng re

latin

g to

wor

k I w

ould

feel

out

side

of t

he g

roup

W

ante

d to

be

on th

e sa

me

jour

ney

Enga

gem

ent

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 55

In

t Y

eah

sure

56

Julie

A

nd I

supp

ose

I jus

t wan

ted

to sh

are

the

sam

e jo

urne

y w

hat e

very

one

was

goi

ng o

n W

ante

d to

be

on th

e sa

me

jour

ney

Enga

gem

ent

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 57

In

t O

k ok

58

Julie

So

hen

ce m

e ch

oosi

ng so

met

hing

ver

y pe

rson

al

Cho

se so

met

hing

ver

y pe

rson

al

Ope

nnes

s Pe

rson

al

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 59

In

t R

ight

righ

t ok

60

Ju

lie

And

I re

mem

ber w

hen

I cho

se it

I sa

t the

re a

nd ju

st so

bbed

and

I w

asn’

t exp

ectin

g it

and

I sat

ther

e an

d so

bbed

(.) a

nd e

vent

ually

it c

ame

out w

hat I

was

goi

ng to

cho

se so

I ye

ah e

mot

iona

l So

bbed

and

sobb

ed

Just

cho

osin

g th

e st

ory

was

em

otio

nal

Emot

iona

l Pa

infu

l Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

61

In

t So

whe

n yo

u w

ere

actu

ally

ask

ed

62

Ju

lie

Um

m y

eah

63

In

t W

hen

Pip

or w

hoev

er w

ent r

ound

in th

e ci

rcle

and

whe

n it

cam

e to

you

r tur

n

64

Julie

I j

ust b

lubb

ered

I ju

st e

rr c

ompl

etel

y C

ried

Emot

iona

l

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 65

In

t R

ight

66

Julie

H

mm

I do

n’t (

.) I d

on’t

thin

k I w

as e

xpec

ting

that

bec

ause

it’s

not

as i

f mum

die

d ye

ster

day

but i

t st

ill fe

lt ve

ry ra

w e

rr u

m so

that

was

qui

te te

lling

real

ly e

rm a

nd I

thin

k th

e w

hole

of t

he th

ree

days

th

at w

e ha

d (1

) uhh

it fe

lt lik

e ha

rd w

ork

and

hard

em

otio

nal w

ork

Was

n’t e

xpec

ting

to c

ry

as m

um d

ied

year

s ago

H

ard

emot

iona

l wor

k

Surp

risin

gly

mov

ing

Emot

iona

l D

iffic

ult

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e 67

In

t Y

eah

yeah

68

Julie

A

nd I

wou

ld g

et h

ome

at n

ight

and

obv

ious

ly h

ave

to g

o in

to li

ke m

um m

ode

and

try a

nd b

e th

e Th

ough

t abo

ut st

ory

App

endi

x 7

38

care

give

r and

eve

ryth

ing

else

you

are

whe

n yo

u le

ave

wor

k an

d er

m I

still

wan

ted

to h

ave

time

to

find

the

phot

os c

os I

knew

I ha

d th

ese

phot

os so

eve

n w

hen

I got

hom

e m

y m

ind

was

still

focu

ssed

on

that

tryi

ng to

find

the

err i

n m

y he

ad I

knew

the

exac

t one

s I w

ante

d an

d I k

new

they

wer

e in

a

safe

pla

ce

whe

n at

hom

e at

nig

ht

69

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

70

Ju

lie

But

it w

as ju

st tr

ying

to fi

nd th

em so

yea

h it

felt

like

thre

e da

ys o

f em

otio

nal w

ork

but I

will

ho

nest

ly sa

y th

at w

ithou

t Pip

and

Ton

y an

d w

as it

Jo a

s wel

l H

ard

emot

iona

l wor

k Em

otio

nal

Diff

icul

t Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

71

In

t Y

eah

Jo y

eah

72

Ju

lie

They

did

it so

min

dful

ly I

felt

look

ed a

fter I

felt

very

ver

y sa

fe (1

) and

I th

ink

it w

ould

be

hard

pu

shed

and

I kn

ow w

hen

peop

le tr

y an

d th

ey sa

y w

e’re

mak

ing

a fil

m a

nd it

’s li

ke w

ell h

ave

you

cont

acte

d Pi

p? h

ave

you

cont

acte

d To

ny?

Cos

I th

ink

with

out t

heir

supp

ort a

nd w

ithou

t gui

ding

m

e it

wou

ldn’

t hav

e fe

lt th

e sa

me

Min

dful

faci

litat

ion

Mad

e to

feel

safe

V

ery

impo

rtant

to

proc

ess

Felt

safe

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

73

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

74

Ju

lie

So th

ere

was

a h

undr

ed p

er c

ent t

rust

10

0% tr

ust

Trus

t Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

75

Int

Um

m

76

Ju

lie

Erm

and

the

grou

p w

as a

maz

ing

(.) it

was

real

ly (.

) to

be a

ble

to tr

ust s

trang

ers (

.) is

qui

te h

ard

real

ly to

do

that

and

to h

ones

tly b

e ab

le to

trus

t (.)

so I

thin

k w

hy I

foun

d it

so h

ard

it w

as e

rm

wan

ting

to b

e as

hon

est a

s pos

sibl

e

Gro

up w

as a

maz

ing

Trus

ted

rest

of g

roup

w

hich

was

diff

icul

t W

ante

d to

be

as h

ones

t as

pos

sibl

e

Supp

ort

Trus

t H

ones

t

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

77

Int

Rig

ht

78

Ju

lie

Erm

79

Int

And

was

that

som

ethi

ng th

at y

ou c

ame

with

or t

hat c

ame

out o

f the

pro

cess

per

haps

80

Julie

M

mm

abs

olut

ely

erm

I ca

me

with

it b

ut i

didn

’t th

ink

it w

ould

be

such

an

emot

ive

thin

g to

do

and

I thi

nk th

e pr

oces

s hel

ped

you

to b

e ho

nest

and

it w

as so

rt of

rela

ted

back

to fe

elin

g sa

fe e

rm (1

) so

yeah

Did

n’t e

xpec

t it t

o be

so

emot

iona

l Pr

oces

s hel

ped

her t

o be

ho

nest

bec

ause

it w

as

safe

Surp

risin

g Em

otio

nal

Hon

esty

Sa

fety

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

81

Int

So it

soun

ds li

ke p

rior t

here

was

a c

erta

in a

mou

nt o

f anx

iety

abo

ut w

hat t

o do

the

stor

y on

82

Julie

U

mm

um

m

83

In

t A

nd th

en d

urin

g th

e th

ree

days

it w

as (.

) wel

l a lo

t of e

rm v

ery

stro

ng e

mot

ions

som

e of

them

ver

y pa

infu

l but

als

o fe

elin

g sa

fe

Stro

ng e

mot

ions

Pa

infu

l B

ut fe

lt sa

fe

Emot

iona

l Pa

infu

l Fe

lt sa

fe

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e C

atha

rtic

App

endi

x 7

39

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

84

Julie

A

bsol

utel

y

85

Int

And

then

afte

rwar

ds

86

Ju

lie

It to

ok so

me

time

to re

cove

ry it

was

so y

ou k

now

stra

ight

bac

k to

wor

k th

e ne

xt d

ay (.

) and

it fe

lt re

ally

stra

nge

it fe

lt lik

e yo

u’d

been

in th

is c

ocoo

n fo

r thr

ee d

ays

Took

som

e tim

e to

re

cove

r M

ovin

g pr

ofou

nd

expe

rienc

e Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

87

Int

Rig

ht

88

Ju

lie

May

be it

’s w

here

you

r hea

d is

it’s

a h

ead

spac

e w

here

you

’ve

allo

wed

you

rsel

f to

be b

ut it

was

al

so in

the

com

pany

of e

very

one

and

then

all

of su

dden

it’s

bac

k in

to w

ork

and

it fe

lt ve

ry u

nrea

l uh

h

Bee

n in

a d

iffer

ent

head

spac

e G

oing

bac

k to

no

rmal

ity w

as a

shoc

k

Mov

ing

prof

ound

ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e

89

Int

Wor

k di

d

90

Julie

V

ery

unre

al it

was

alm

ost l

ike

ehh

(.) tw

o so

rt of

par

alle

l dim

ensi

ons

91

In

t R

ight

92

Julie

Th

e on

e w

here

you

r em

otio

ns a

re a

bsol

utel

y up

fron

t and

raw

and

then

bac

k in

to a

n en

viro

nmen

t w

here

it’s

like

ohh

alm

ost n

eedi

ng to

put

a li

d on

it fo

r a ti

me

(1) s

o ye

ah it

took

(.) I

rem

embe

r em

ailin

g Pi

p sa

ying

(.) i

t’s ta

king

a li

ttle

bit l

onge

r to

feel

fully

reco

vere

d

Emot

ions

wer

e up

fron

t an

d ra

w in

wor

ksho

p cf

hi

dden

in e

very

day

life

Ope

nnes

s Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

93

Int

Rig

ht o

k

94

Julie

Er

m y

eah

95

In

t So

it to

ok a

whi

le a

nd n

ow si

x m

onth

s dow

n th

e lin

e

96

Julie

I s

uppo

se w

hat’s

diff

eren

t now

is I

coul

dn’t

wai

t for

my

girls

to se

e it

even

thou

gh y

ou k

now

they

m

oane

d ab

out t

he o

ne o

f the

pic

ture

s cos

they

said

it’s

not

the

best

one

and

you

kno

w b

ut h

ey h

o an

d th

ey fe

lt qu

ite n

ervo

us a

t firs

t abo

ut m

aybe

peo

ple

acro

ss th

e w

orld

will

see

pict

ures

of t

hem

bu

t the

y fe

el fi

ne w

ith th

at a

nd it

’s q

uite

a n

ice

touc

h to

con

nect

to d

iffer

ent p

arts

of t

he w

orld

but

ho

w d

o I f

eel n

ow?

I fee

l as t

houg

h I’

ve le

ft a

lega

cy b

ehin

d of

mum

Has

a le

gacy

of m

um

whi

ch fe

els r

eally

goo

d K

een

for g

irls t

o se

e it

Lega

cy

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

97

Int

Yea

h

98

Julie

W

hich

feel

s rea

lly re

ally

goo

d (1

) so

a nu

mbe

r of p

eopl

e ha

ve se

en it

and

I sh

owed

a re

ally

goo

d gi

rlfrie

nd o

f min

e an

d sh

e ju

st so

bbed

and

sobb

ed b

ecau

se it

abs

olut

ely

tapp

ed in

to h

er m

um a

nd

how

her

mum

die

d an

d so

feel

ing

the

pow

er o

f the

film

I ha

ven’

t err

show

n it

to m

y da

d th

ere

just

ha

sn’t

been

a g

ood

time

whe

n he

’s b

een

on h

is o

wn

Show

n it

to fr

iend

s Po

wer

ful f

ilm

Not

show

n to

dad

as

ther

e’s n

ot b

een

a go

od

time

Shar

ed w

ith

frie

nds

Pow

erfu

l film

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

99

Int

Rig

ht

10

0 Ju

lie

Erm

and

bec

ause

it’s

so p

ower

ful I

’m fr

ight

ened

of (

.) an

d so

I ga

ve d

ad th

e w

ebsi

te a

nd sa

id

whe

n yo

u ha

ve a

mom

ent

Film

is so

pow

erfu

l she

is

frig

hten

ed o

f effe

ct

on h

er D

ad

101

Int

Ok

yes y

es

10

2 Ju

lie

Look

at i

t erm

(1) s

o ye

ah I

feel

it w

as re

ally

wor

th d

oing

(.) I

’ll st

ill ta

ke a

look

at i

t and

I fe

el in

m

any

way

s tha

t the

re w

as a

real

reso

lve

in m

e (.)

erm

hav

ing

done

it

Feel

’s it

was

real

ly

wor

th d

oing

Fe

lt a

real

reso

lve

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Enga

gem

ent

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

Prof

ound

App

endi

x 7

40

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

103

Int

Rig

ht o

k

104

Julie

A

s I so

rt of

said

it fe

lt ve

ry c

atha

rtic

it co

s I a

lway

s fel

t as t

houg

h I h

adn’

t car

ed fo

r mum

eno

ugh

and

it’s o

nly

whe

n (.)

cos

it fe

lt lik

e a

com

plic

ated

dea

th it

s onl

y af

terw

ards

whe

n I r

efle

ct th

at I

thin

k I d

id a

dore

you

Felt

very

cat

harti

c C

hang

ed th

e w

ay s

he

felt

abou

t the

way

she’

s ca

red

for m

um -

posi

tivel

y

Cat

harti

c Po

sitiv

e re

fram

ing

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

105

Int

Um

m I

thin

k th

at c

omes

thru

ver

y st

rong

ly

10

6 Ju

lie

But

may

be it

’s o

nly

whe

n yo

u do

hav

e tim

e to

refle

ct o

ther

wis

e (.)

you

alw

ays t

hink

I co

uld

have

do

ne b

ette

r i c

ould

hav

e do

ne it

this

way

I sh

ould

hav

e do

ne th

at a

nd it

s onl

y af

terw

ard

you

thin

k ah

h I w

asn’

t so

bad

(laug

hter

)

Tim

e to

refle

ct

Aw

are

of se

lf cr

itici

sm

Ref

lect

ion

Insi

ght

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e C

atha

rtic

expe

rienc

e

107

Int

I’m

sure

you

wer

en’t

(laug

hter

) rig

ht so

gen

eral

ly ju

st to

try

and

(1) i

t’s h

ad a

pos

itive

eff

ect

10

8 Ju

lie

Abs

olut

ely

Posi

tive

effe

ct

Posi

tive

impa

ct

C

atha

rtic

expe

rienc

e

109

Int

So

11

0 Ju

lie

Yea

h

111

Int

And

cou

ld y

ou sp

ecul

ate

as I

know

as w

hy th

at is

do

you

thin

k an

d I k

now

you

’ve

said

the

bit

abou

t

112

Julie

I t

hink

it w

as re

ally

hav

ing

the

time

and

the

spac

e an

d ha

ving

peo

ple

arou

nd y

ou to

alm

ost (

.) I

can’

t rea

lly sa

y w

ell m

aybe

teas

e th

ings

out

of y

ou o

r (.)

just

to fe

el so

pro

tect

ed in

a sp

ace

that

yo

u ha

d I d

on’t

wan

t to

say

the

perm

issi

on y

ou w

ere

able

to e

xpre

ss y

ours

elf i

n su

ch a

n ho

nest

w

ay

Hav

ing

time

and

spac

e Pe

ople

to h

elp

you

expr

ess y

ours

elf

Feel

ing

safe

B

eing

abl

e to

exp

ress

yo

urse

lf ho

nest

ly

Opp

ortu

nity

R

efle

ctio

n Fe

lt sa

fe

Expr

essi

on

Hon

esty

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

11

3 In

t H

mm

hm

m

11

4 Ju

lie

Err e

m b

ut I

do th

ink

it w

as a

bout

hav

ing

the

time

to d

o th

at

11

5 In

t R

ight

ok

cos t

here

are

a n

umbe

r of e

lem

ents

whi

ch a

re (1

) pot

entia

lly q

uite

impo

rtant

not

ne

cess

arily

uni

que

but m

aybe

unu

sual

in th

is in

that

you

’re

in a

spac

e w

here

oth

er p

eopl

e ar

e be

ing

hone

st a

nd sh

arin

g ve

ry d

iffic

ult y

ou k

now

Bei

ng w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

shar

ing

diff

icul

t ex

perie

nces

Shar

ing

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

116

Julie

Y

eah

11

7 In

t V

ery

diff

icul

t tra

umat

ic st

orie

s and

the

othe

r and

I su

ppos

e th

ere’

s tha

t asp

ect o

f hav

ing

an

audi

ence

bot

h in

the

room

at t

he ti

me

or k

now

ing

that

you

’ll b

e sh

owin

g it

but t

hen

also

kno

win

g th

at p

oten

tially

any

body

who

look

s at t

he w

ebsi

te c

an se

e it

but i

t’s a

lso

som

ethi

ng y

ou a

s you

say

you’

ve sh

own

it to

you

kno

w fr

iend

s chi

ldre

n

Hav

ing

an a

udie

nce

- in

the

wor

ksho

p an

d la

ter v

ia th

e w

ebsi

te

Show

ing

it to

frie

nds

Shar

ing

stor

y U

sefu

lnes

s of

stor

ies

118

Julie

Y

eah

11

9 In

t So

thos

e ar

e th

e so

rt of

asp

ects

whi

ch p

oten

tially

hav

e an

impa

ct

App

endi

x 7

41

120

Julie

Y

eah

I thi

nk a

t firs

t cos

you

can

alm

ost f

eel e

rm (1

) I re

mem

ber o

n th

e fir

st d

ay a

nd it

was

ear

ly o

n an

d I j

ust c

ried

and

crie

d (.)

but

that

felt

ok

Crie

d lo

ts a

nd th

at fe

lt ok

Em

otio

nal

Cry

ing

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

121

Int

Hm

m

12

2 Ju

lie

Whi

ch so

unds

real

ly p

erha

ps st

rang

e in

a g

roup

of p

eopl

e th

at y

ou’v

e ne

ver m

et b

efor

e bu

t it f

elt

ok to

do

that

O

k to

cry

in fr

ont o

f st

rang

ers

Supp

ort

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t 12

3 In

t U

mm

124

Julie

Er

m w

hich

is q

uite

unu

sual

in so

me

way

s erm

(1) b

ut h

ow I

thin

k (.)

Pip

Ton

y an

d Jo

han

dled

it

you’

re a

ble

to d

o th

at

Unu

sual

situ

atio

n R

are

oppo

rtuni

ty

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t 12

5 In

t Y

eah

12

6 Ju

lie

Erm

yea

h

127

Int

So e

rm (2

) I’m

just

won

derin

g ho

w w

heth

er y

ou c

an th

ink

of o

ther

way

s it’s

had

an

impa

ct o

n yo

ur li

fe a

part

from

just

the

emot

iona

l

128

Julie

U

mm

129

Int

Side

of t

hing

s

130

Julie

U

mm

I th

ink

from

a p

oint

of v

iew

of s

harin

g w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

and

givi

ng th

em th

e in

form

atio

n es

peci

ally

peo

ple

with

in th

e Tr

ust m

y co

lleag

ues f

or e

xam

ple

(1) t

ryin

g to

shar

e w

ith th

em h

ow

usef

ul it

has

bee

n fo

r oth

er m

embe

rs w

ho d

id it

for m

e w

ho d

id it

for e

xam

ple

to g

ive

hmm

car

ers

and

serv

ices

ano

ther

way

of t

ellin

g th

eir s

tory

hm

m e

very

mon

th I

pres

ent a

cor

pora

te in

duct

ion

to

our n

ew st

arte

rs

Impo

rtanc

e of

usi

ng

stor

ies t

o em

pow

er

user

s and

car

ers

Use

s the

m in

the

staf

f in

duct

ion

Util

ity

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

131

Int

Ah

right

132

Julie

A

nd I

alw

ays s

how

a sh

ort f

ilm a

t the

mom

ent i

t’s th

e do

ctor

and

the

door

mou

se

13

3 In

t R

ight

134

Julie

W

hich

goe

s dow

n

135

Int

Is th

at o

ne o

f the

dig

ital s

torie

s

136

Julie

Y

eah

13

7 In

t I’

ve n

ot se

en th

at o

ne

13

8 Ju

lie

It’s a

won

derf

ul o

ne it

epi

tom

ises

how

pat

ient

s ofte

n kn

ow b

ette

r tha

n th

e er

r doc

tor

13

9 In

t R

ight

140

Julie

Th

e cl

inic

ian

14

1 In

t R

ight

142

Julie

It’

s a re

ally

real

ly u

sefu

l one

or I

’ll sh

ow N

ev W

heel

er’s

stor

y

143

Int

Rig

ht I

don’

t thi

nk I’

ve se

en th

at

14

4 Ju

lie

Yea

h Pe

aks a

nd T

roug

hs so

ther

e’s a

rang

e I u

se

14

5 In

t Y

eah

yeah

146

Julie

So

I su

ppos

e it’

s my

way

of l

ettin

g pe

ople

kno

w a

bout

the

stor

ies

Prom

otes

the

stor

ies

Util

ity

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s 14

7 In

t U

mm

um

m

14

8 Ju

lie

So th

ey c

an u

se th

em (3

) urr

h

App

endi

x 7

42

149

Int

Fine

fine

erm

I th

ink

we’

ve c

over

ed m

ost o

f the

poi

nts I

’ve

got d

own

here

erm

and

I do

n’t w

ant t

o le

ad y

ou d

own

any

aven

ues (

.) su

gges

t put

sugg

estio

ns in

you

r min

d (.)

are

ther

e an

y ot

her t

hing

s?

150

Julie

I t

hink

pro

babl

y w

hat w

e ta

lked

abo

ut in

the

first

pla

ce b

eing

abl

e to

afte

r the

(1) a

fter t

he th

ird d

ay

and

afte

r we

wat

ched

the

film

s had

a li

ttle

prem

ier

151

Int

Mm

152

Julie

W

ithin

the

(.) in

fron

t of e

very

one

(.) it

was

not

ing

how

the

film

s cou

ld b

e us

ed w

ithin

the

Trus

t W

antin

g to

use

the

film

s U

tility

U

sefu

lnes

s of

stor

ies

153

Int

Rig

ht y

eah

15

4 Ju

lie

And

cle

arly

ther

e w

ere

som

e th

at c

ould

be

used

155

Int

Rig

ht y

eah

15

6 Ju

lie

And

you

kno

w th

e so

rt of

safe

ty is

sues

and

thin

gs li

ke th

at a

nd so

it w

as ju

st re

ally

wan

ting

to

mak

e us

e of

them

and

letti

ng p

eopl

e kn

ow th

at th

ey c

an (.

) wel

l if t

he fu

ndin

g w

as th

ere

they

cou

ld

mak

e a

stor

y ob

viou

sly

Wan

ting

to u

se th

e fil

ms a

nd w

antin

g ot

her

peop

le to

kno

w th

at

they

cou

ld a

lso

mak

e th

eir o

wn

stor

ies

Util

ity

Shar

ing

stor

ies

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

157

Int

Yea

h ye

ah I

gues

s the

re a

few

oth

er a

spec

t I c

ould

may

be to

uch

on

15

8 Ju

lie

Ok

15

9 In

t Er

m I

supp

ose

one

is e

rm w

ell h

as it

hel

ped

you

to se

e th

ings

diff

eren

tly a

roun

d yo

ur re

latio

nshi

p w

ith y

our m

um o

r the

circ

umst

ance

s aro

und

her d

eath

or

160

Julie

I t

hink

the

circ

umst

ance

s you

kno

w I

abso

lute

ly a

dore

d m

um b

ut b

ecau

se I

felt

it w

as a

co

mpl

icat

ed d

eath

in m

any

way

s her

not

bei

ng d

iagn

osed

ear

ly

161

Int

Rig

ht

16

2 Ju

lie

So (.

) you

kno

w (.

) fro

m th

e da

te o

f dia

gnos

is o

n th

e 6th

and

dea

d on

the

16th

was

ver

y ve

ry q

uick

163

Int

Rig

ht

16

4 Ju

lie

Erm

nev

er h

avin

g tim

e to

alm

ost c

ome

to te

rms w

ith th

at e

rm h

ow q

uick

ly sh

e di

ed a

nd a

lway

s be

lievi

ng w

hy d

idn’

t we

know

? W

hy c

ould

n’t w

e te

ll th

ere

was

som

ethi

ng?

(.) a

nd I

thin

k al

so

livin

g w

ith a

mum

who

suffe

red

from

dep

ress

ion

erm

(.) I

supp

osed

it’s

mad

e m

e m

uch

mor

e m

indf

ul o

f loo

king

afte

r me

Not

had

tim

e to

com

e to

te

rms w

ith h

er d

eath

U

nans

wer

ed q

uest

ions

D

oubt

Ref

lect

ion

Prof

ound

em

otio

nal

expe

rienc

e

165

Int

Rig

ht

16

6 Ju

lie

Cos

I ca

n se

e ce

rtain

sign

s erm

(1) s

o ye

ah in

som

e w

ays q

uite

lear

ning

cur

ve b

ut it

real

ly fe

els

like

(.) th

e hu

ge a

mou

nt o

f gui

lt I f

elt c

os I

was

n’t t

here

dur

ing

Stee

p le

arni

ng c

urve

H

as h

ad fe

elin

gs o

f gu

ilt c

os sh

e w

asn’

t w

ith m

um w

hen

she

died

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g C

atha

rtic

expe

rienc

e

167

Int

Rig

ht w

hen

she

died

168

Julie

Y

eah

(.) th

at m

akin

g th

e fil

m ju

st h

elpe

d m

e re

flect

on

the

posi

tive

whi

ch I

thin

k in

man

y w

ays i

s ju

st b

een

trem

endo

us c

os I

just

alw

ays v

iew

ed m

e as

such

as b

addy

who

was

n’t t

here

for m

um

Stor

y ha

s hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

on

the

posi

tive

Ver

y be

nefic

ial

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Cat

harti

c ex

perie

nce

16

9 In

t R

ight

170

Julie

So

you

kno

w it

’s re

ally

171

Int

And

now

you

don

’t

App

endi

x 7

43

172

Julie

I s

till t

hink

I co

uld’

ve d

one

mor

e th

at’s

that

’s m

e St

ill d

oubt

s tha

t she

did

en

ough

St

ill d

oubt

s he

rsel

f Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

173

Int

Rig

ht o

k ok

174

Julie

Er

m

17

5 In

t M

m a

nd I

supp

ose

anot

her a

spec

t whi

ch y

ou’v

e to

uche

d on

is th

e ki

nd o

f mm

ove

rcom

ing

inhi

bitio

ns

176

Julie

M

mm

177

Int

Abo

ut n

ot b

eing

abl

e to

shar

e yo

u kn

ow d

iffic

ult e

xper

ienc

es o

r diff

icul

t em

otio

ns w

ith o

ther

pe

ople

178

Julie

Y

eah

and

I thi

nk it

’s q

uite

ehh

(1) i

t’s a

lmos

t lik

e yo

u kn

ow h

avin

g th

at st

iff u

pper

lip

it’s l

ike

bein

g st

rong

for e

very

one

else

Pr

evio

usly

not

abl

e to

sh

are

feel

ings

O

penn

ess w

ith

feel

ings

Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

179

Int

Mm

mm

180

Julie

A

nd g

osh

ther

e’s n

othi

ng w

rong

with

mum

’s c

ryin

g in

fron

t of t

heir

daug

hter

s you

kno

w in

fron

t of

thei

r chi

ldre

n bu

t it’s

act

ually

just

alm

ost g

ivin

g yo

urse

lf pe

rmis

sion

to c

ry

Feel

s lik

e sh

e ne

eds

perm

issi

on to

cry

O

penn

ess w

ith

feel

ings

Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

181

Int

Mm

mm

182

Julie

Er

r (.)

and

I thi

nk if

I w

ould

hav

e ch

osen

som

ethi

ng li

ke p

atie

nt a

nd p

ublic

invo

lvem

ent a

nd n

ot

this

it w

ould

hav

e fe

lt so

diff

eren

t Mar

k w

e w

ould

n’t b

e ha

ving

this

sam

e co

nver

satio

n

183

Int

No

no

18

4 Ju

lie

I wou

ld h

ave

been

doi

ng it

bec

ause

the

corp

orat

e si

de o

f me

was

sayi

ng

18

5 In

t R

ight

ok

18

6 Ju

lie

Do

this

you

kno

w b

ut I

did

it fr

om a

hea

rtfel

t dec

isio

n (.)

so a

lthou

gh it

felt

selfi

sh in

som

e w

ays

(.) it

felt

right

in o

ther

s H

eart-

felt

deci

sion

to

talk

abo

ut h

er m

um

Dee

p Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

187

Int

Mm

mm

mm

but

I th

ink

the

way

you

’ve

done

it in

fact

I’m

pre

tty su

re a

bout

this

you

’ve

ente

red

into

it m

ore

who

lly

188

Julie

A

bsol

utel

y

189

Int

Or v

ery

who

lly a

ctua

lly

19

0 Ju

lie

Yea

h W

holly

invo

lved

in

proc

ess

Dee

p Pr

ofou

nd

emot

iona

l ex

perie

nce

191

Int

Whe

reas

you

kno

w if

you

’d h

ave

just

talk

ed a

spec

ts o

f you

r job

or w

hate

ver y

ou’d

hav

e us

ed th

e te

chno

logy

but

it w

ould

hav

e be

en v

ery

diffe

rent

192

Julie

Y

eah

19

3 In

t A

ctua

lly th

e w

hole

moo

d of

the

who

le w

orks

hop

cou

ld h

ave

been

diff

eren

t bec

ause

of t

hat

19

4 Ju

lie

I thi

nk so

195

Int

So a

ctua

lly w

hat y

ou d

id w

as p

roba

bly

not s

elfis

h

196

Julie

O

k uh

h ok

(lau

ghte

r) o

k

197

Int

You

kno

w y

ou e

nter

ed it

fully

in th

e sp

irit o

f it s

o (.)

any

oth

er la

st c

omm

ents

App

endi

x 7

44

198

Julie

N

o I t

hink

from

an

artis

tic p

oint

of v

iew

it fe

lt re

ally

as t

houg

h I w

ante

d to

mak

e so

met

hing

that

w

ould

last

a lo

ng ti

me

(.) e

rm a

nd I

(.) y

ou k

now

wha

t I w

as sa

ying

bef

ore

that

eac

h of

the

girls

ha

ve a

dis

c

Wan

ted

to le

ave

a le

gacy

of h

er m

um fo

r he

r girl

s

Lega

cy

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

199

Int

Rig

ht

20

0 Ju

lie

And

it d

oes i

t fee

l lik

e I’

ve I’

ve le

ft so

met

hing

for t

hem

201

Int

Mm

m

20

2 Ju

lie

Err t

o se

e (.)

and

I th

ink

it’s a

lso

som

e of

the

pict

ures

they

’ve

seen

of m

um o

ne th

at si

ts o

n ou

r (.)

man

telp

iece

in th

e si

tting

room

fire

plac

e so

rry

in th

e si

tting

room

erm

mum

’s lo

okin

g ol

der a

nd I

thin

k w

hen

you’

re li

ttle

you

forg

et th

at p

eopl

e w

ere

once

you

ng a

nd p

erha

ps re

ally

203

Int

Ok

yeah

204

Julie

So

it’s

als

o gi

ving

them

a d

iffer

ent v

isua

l im

age

of w

hat t

heir

gran

ny o

nce

look

ed li

ke a

nd h

er

havi

ng a

life

she

was

n’t j

ust m

y m

um so

err

just

tryi

ng to

giv

e a

roun

ded

pict

ure

uhh

(laug

hter

) G

ives

the

girls

a

diffe

rent

mor

e ro

unde

d pe

rspe

ctiv

e on

thei

r gr

anny

Shar

e st

ory

Use

fuln

ess o

f st

orie

s

205

Int

Ok

20

6 Ju

lie

Yes

207

Int

Rig

ht th

ank

you

M

artin

tran

scri

pt a

naly

sis

Sec

tion

Firs

t ord

er c

odin

g Se

cond

ord

er

codi

ng

Inte

rvie

w th

emes

1 M

artin

I s

uppo

se (.

) hav

ing

done

it e

spec

ially

the

seco

nd o

ne (.

) erm

yea

h th

ings

not

the

sam

e th

ings

ha

ve c

hang

ed fo

r me

to y

ou k

now

that

ext

ent r

eally

(.)

Life

has

cha

nged

B

enef

icia

l Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

2 In

t Y

es

3

Mar

tin

And

that

's th

e di

ffer

ence

yea

h it'

s pro

babl

y go

od fo

r you

r res

earc

h re

ally

4 In

t M

m m

m

5

Mar

tin

The

ther

apeu

tic v

alue

it's

had

on m

e (.)

cos

(.) t

he d

iffer

ence

the

first

one

and

the

seco

nd o

ne is

ju

st (.

) B

een

ther

apeu

tic

Ben

efic

ial

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

6

Int

How

you

wer

e w

hen

you

did

them

7 M

artin

Th

e se

cond

one

esp

ecia

lly (.

) if (

.) w

ell y

ou'v

e ac

tual

ly se

en th

em so

you

kno

w th

e di

ffere

nce

betw

een

how

it st

arts

bet

wee

n th

e fir

st a

nd se

cond

(.) a

nd e

rm (.

) I w

as fr

ight

ened

to d

eath

at t

he

end

of th

e fir

st o

ne (l

augh

ter)

don

't ge

t me

wro

ng I

was

gla

d I'd

don

e it

Frig

hten

ed a

fter t

he

first

stor

y G

lad

he’d

don

e it

Uns

ettli

ng

Plea

sed

D

iffic

ult p

roce

ss

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

8 In

t O

hh y

eah

yes

9

Mar

tin

I was

real

ly g

lad

I'd d

one

it it'

s jus

t (.)

erm

(1) w

ell w

e w

ere

goin

g to

hav

e a

little

mee

ting

afte

r bu

t bec

ause

it ra

n so

late

we

ende

d up

not

hav

ing

the

mee

ting

Gla

d he

’d d

one

it

Plea

sed

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

10

Int

The

heal

ing

jour

neys

one

11

Mar

tin

Yes

12

Int

So d

id y

ou sh

ow th

e st

orie

s?

App

endi

x 7

45

13

Mar

tin

Yea

h w

e ha

d a

prem

ier a

nd th

at w

as fi

ne b

ut th

ings

wer

e ru

nnin

g th

at la

te th

at a

ll of

us t

hat w

ere

goin

g fo

r err

(.) m

eet u

p af

ter d

idn'

t mee

t up

so it

end

ed u

p w

ith m

e an

d it

was

just

all

the

wei

rd

thin

gs g

oing

roun

d in

my

head

you

kno

w (.

) all

of a

sudd

en (.

) the

re's

mill

ions

of p

eopl

e go

ing

to

see

this

they

're a

ll go

ing

to sw

itch

on a

six

o'cl

ock

(laug

hter

) it w

as th

at so

rt of

daf

t thi

ng th

at

wen

t thr

ough

my

head

that

you

kno

w a

t six

o'cl

ock

ever

yone

's go

ing

to sw

itch

on a

nd se

e th

is

thin

g (.)

and

of c

ours

e th

at w

as n

ever

par

t of i

t any

way

cos

I ha

d th

e op

tion

of g

oing

on

the

inte

rnet

or n

ot

Left

him

shak

en

Wor

ried

abou

t lot

s of

peop

le se

eing

his

stor

y –

left

feel

ing

vuln

erab

le

Uns

ettli

ng

Felt

vuln

erab

le

Diff

icul

t pro

cess

14

Int

Yes

sure

15

Mar

tin

It's j

ust t

hat I

said

yea

h in

tern

et d

oesn

't bo

ther

me

and

I go

oh g

od e

very

one's

goi

ng to

see

it bu

t of

cou

rse

it w

as a

nony

mou

s any

way

W

orrie

d ab

out l

ots o

f pe

ople

seei

ng h

is st

ory

– le

ft fe

elin

g vu

lner

able

Felt

vuln

erab

le

Diff

icul

t pro

cess

16

Int

You

rs is

ver

y an

onym

ous y

es

17

M

artin

W

ith th

e fir

st o

ne y

eah

but w

ith th

e se

cond

one

at l

east

you

see

me

18

In

t Y

eah

19

M

artin

So

it's

just

that

's th

e pr

ogre

ssio

n I'v

e go

ne d

own

(1) t

hat I

feel

stro

ng e

noug

h to

do

that

Fe

elin

g a

lot s

trong

er a

s a

resu

lt Fe

els s

trong

er

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

20

In

t R

ight

ok

to b

e le

ss a

nony

mou

s

21

Mar

tin

Ano

ther

yea

r dow

n th

e ro

ad a

nd y

eah

perh

aps I

'll b

e th

ere

sayi

ng c

ome

on y

ou k

now

full

up

fron

t Ex

pect

s re

cove

ry to

pe

rsis

t O

ptim

istic

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

22

Int

Mm

mm

23

Mar

tin

But

it's

just

the

conf

iden

ce I

got f

rom

it

Gai

ned

in c

onfid

ence

M

ore

conf

iden

t Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

24

Int

Rig

ht o

k so

it g

ave

you

conf

iden

ce in

you

r life

in g

ener

al

25

M

artin

Y

eah

26

Int

Whi

ch is

goo

d

27

Mar

tin

Bril

liant

inni

t (la

ught

er) b

ut e

rm d

'you

wan

t to

know

the

reas

on I

star

ted

it in

the

first

pla

ce?

Rea

lly p

leas

ed w

ith

effe

ct it

’s h

ad

Plea

sed

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

28

Int

Yes

yea

h

29

Mar

tin

Wel

l I a

ctua

lly (.

) I'd

seen

a p

sych

olog

ist f

or a

ges f

or a

lmos

t a y

ear s

o I u

nder

stoo

d w

hat w

as

caus

ing

the

prob

lem

s K

new

wha

t was

cau

sing

hi

s pro

blem

s A

war

e of

ow

n pr

oble

ms b

efor

e D

iffic

ulty

mov

ing

forw

ard

befo

re

30

Int

Rig

ht

31

M

artin

Th

en I

wen

t with

an

OT

(.) a

s my

care

coo

rdin

ator

and

she

enco

urag

ed m

e to

writ

e at

cer

tain

tim

es o

f the

day

whe

n I w

as g

ettin

g w

ound

up

and

notic

ed th

e tri

gger

s so

I'd b

asic

ally

star

ted

doin

g th

at (.

) and

then

I w

as e

ncou

rage

to w

rite

som

ethi

ng m

ainl

y fo

r me

(.) w

hich

I di

d I w

rote

pa

ges a

nd p

ages

of t

he st

uff b

ut I

mad

e it

into

an

artic

le fo

r You

r Voi

ce

Had

don

e th

erap

eutic

w

ritin

g be

fore

W

ritin

g ha

d be

en

help

ful b

efor

e Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

32

Int

Rig

ht w

hich

I've

read

33

Mar

tin

So th

at's

sort

of tu

rned

into

an

artic

le fo

r You

r Voi

ce b

asic

ally

and

it so

rt of

follo

ws o

n fr

om th

at

so I'

ve a

lway

s bee

n (.)

mor

e in

tere

sted

in st

uff t

ellin

g m

y st

ory

and

sort

of p

art o

f the

jour

ney

of

thin

gs th

at h

ave

help

ed o

r not

and

then

I w

as ju

st so

rt lik

e w

ould

you

like

to d

o th

e di

gita

l sto

ry?

So a

fter a

cou

ple

of w

eeks

of t

hink

ing

I sai

d ye

ah it

soun

ds g

ood

that

And

so w

as in

tere

sted

in

telli

ng h

is st

ory

Thou

ght i

t sou

nded

go

od

Wan

ted

to te

ll hi

s st

ory

Thou

ght i

t wou

ld

be g

ood

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

App

endi

x 7

46

34

Int

So ju

st g

oing

bac

k to

you

r writ

ing

cos t

here

's tw

o as

pect

s of i

t you

star

ted

by w

ritin

g so

met

hing

fo

r you

rsel

f to

help

you

stru

ctur

e yo

ur id

eas

35

Mar

tin

Yea

h th

is is

it w

as a

lway

s mad

e ve

ry c

lear

that

wha

t I w

as w

ritin

g w

as n

ot fo

r any

body

els

e re

ally

H

ad o

nly

writ

ten

for

him

self

initi

ally

N

ew e

xper

ienc

e Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 36

In

t Su

re

37

M

artin

Er

m sh

e di

d sa

y th

at if

I w

ante

d to

show

her

that

was

fine

(.) b

ut it

was

n't p

art o

f doi

ng it

the

doin

g w

as fo

r me

to h

elp

me

to n

otic

e w

here

the

trigg

ers w

ere

and

thin

gs li

ke th

at th

ings

that

I w

as d

oing

that

mad

e m

e go

of

Writ

ing

had

been

to

help

him

not

ice

his

trigg

ers

Writ

ing

had

been

he

lpfu

l bef

ore

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

38

Int

So th

roug

h th

e pr

oces

s of w

ritin

g yo

u ha

d a

bette

r und

erst

andi

ng o

f you

rsel

f and

wha

t wer

e si

gns

of y

ou b

ecom

ing

mor

e ill

wer

e

39

Mar

tin

This

is it

I kn

ew w

hy I

was

doi

ng it

(.) t

hrou

gh th

e ps

ycho

logi

st

Writ

ing

help

ed h

im to

un

ders

tand

his

trig

gers

W

ritin

g ha

d be

en

help

ful b

efor

e Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 40

In

t R

ight

righ

t

41

Mar

tin

Bec

ause

of t

he tr

aum

a

42

Int

Mm

mm

43

Mar

tin

That

was

cau

sing

the

prob

lem

s but

wha

t I w

asn'

t rec

ogni

sing

was

the

ever

yday

life

thin

gs I

knew

I w

as g

oing

off

and

figh

ting

and

thin

gs li

ke th

at b

ut it

was

all

just

lum

ped

into

one

it w

as ju

st y

ou

know

like

jum

ping

from

one

to th

e ot

her w

here

as th

at w

as (.

) writ

ing

it do

wn

was

mor

e to

say

whe

re th

e tri

gger

s wer

e

44

Int

so it

hel

ped

45

M

artin

W

hat I

was

act

ually

doi

ng w

hen

I sta

rted

to g

o of

f

46

Int

So w

ould

it b

e rig

ht to

say

that

it h

elpe

d yo

u di

sent

angl

e th

ings

H

ad u

sed

writ

ing

to

help

him

mak

e se

nse

of

his b

ehav

iour

bef

ore

the

wor

ksho

p

Writ

ing

had

been

he

lpfu

l bef

ore

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

47

Mar

tin

This

is it

that

was

the

star

t of i

t

48

Int

Mak

ing

sens

e of

you

r eve

ryda

y lif

e an

d ho

w th

at re

late

d to

prio

r exp

erie

nces

49

Mar

tin

All

it w

as ju

st a

cas

e of

avo

idin

g ce

rtain

thin

gs b

ecau

se th

at w

as c

ausi

ng th

e pr

oble

ms

50

In

t M

m m

m

51

M

artin

M

m I'

ve g

ot to

say

that

erm

(.) t

hat d

urin

g th

at ti

me

it w

as lo

oked

at e

rr g

oing

to se

e a

psyc

hoth

erap

ist a

nd (.

) the

y sa

id it

was

pro

babl

y no

t a g

ood

idea

for m

e to

go

dow

n th

at ro

ute

(.)

beca

use

of th

e fit

s bec

ause

of t

he v

iole

nce

beca

use

I'm e

pile

ptic

as w

ell (

.) an

d so

two

tend

to b

e co

nnec

ted

Psyc

hoth

erap

y ha

d be

en

cons

ider

ed b

ut re

ject

ed

beca

use

of h

is e

pile

ptic

fit

s

War

y of

del

ving

in

to p

ast

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

52

Int

Rig

ht

53

M

artin

Th

e m

ore

viol

ent I

get

the

tend

to b

e m

ore

fits t

hat I

get

54

Int

Rig

ht so

you

wer

e of

fere

d ps

ycho

ther

apy

55

M

artin

N

o I w

as n

ot o

ffer

ed it

56

Int

Oh

ok

57

M

artin

Th

ey lo

oked

at g

oing

dow

n th

at ro

ute

ther

e w

as a

gre

at d

ebat

e be

twee

n th

e ps

ychi

atris

t and

the

psyc

hoth

erap

y se

rvic

es

58

Int

Rig

ht

App

endi

x 7

47

59

Mar

tin

And

giv

en w

hat t

hey

knew

(.) t

hey

thou

ght i

t wou

ld n

ot b

e su

ch a

s goo

d id

ea fo

r me

to g

o do

wn

that

rout

e of

psy

chot

hera

py

60

Int

Rig

ht

61

M

artin

C

os it

'd c

ause

too

man

y pr

oble

ms

62

In

t To

revi

sit y

our e

arly

life

exp

erie

nces

the

traum

atic

exp

erie

nces

63

Mar

tin

They

thou

ght I

was

bet

ter o

ff no

t goi

ng th

at ro

ad (l

augh

ter)

giv

en th

e I w

as p

rone

to v

iole

nce

then

so th

e na

tura

l rou

te w

as th

en to

hav

e a

look

at i

t mor

e as

a e

rr a

war

enes

s thi

ng

Dr t

houg

ht it

bes

t not

to

expl

ore

early

his

tory

in

psyc

hoth

erap

y be

caus

e of

risk

of v

iole

nt

outb

urst

s

War

y of

del

ving

in

to p

ast

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

64

Int

Rig

ht

65

M

artin

W

hat w

as c

ausi

ng th

e pr

oble

ms a

nd is

was

upt

o m

e ho

w I

reac

ted

to th

at it

was

mor

e on

ce I

was

aw

are

of th

em th

at I

wou

ld a

void

get

ting

in th

ose

circ

umst

ance

s W

ritin

g ha

d he

lped

him

co

ntro

l his

vio

lent

be

havi

our

Writ

ing

had

been

he

lpfu

l bef

ore

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

66

Int

Rig

ht so

if y

ou li

ke th

e di

gita

l sto

ryte

lling

is p

art o

f a p

roce

ss

67

M

artin

Th

is is

com

ing

tow

ards

mor

e of

the

end

of it

D

igita

l sto

ry is

par

t of

long

er p

roce

ss

Part

of b

igge

r pr

oces

s Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 68

In

t Y

eah

in te

rms o

f you

writ

ing

for y

ours

elf t

hen

shar

ing

your

stor

y w

ith Y

our V

oice

and

then

ob

viou

sly

this

is m

aybe

mor

e in

dep

th b

ut p

oten

tially

a la

rger

aud

ienc

e an

d us

ing

it in

diff

eren

t w

ays a

s wel

l thr

ough

you

r tea

chin

g

69

Mar

tin

Wel

l i d

o it

thro

ugh

the

teac

hing

and

that

side

but

(.) i

t's w

hen

you

com

e to

the

seco

nd o

ne th

at

this

is w

here

you

real

ly se

e th

e di

ffere

nces

U

ses s

tory

in te

achi

ng

Use

s sto

ry in

te

achi

ng

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

70

In

t M

m m

m

71

M

artin

A

nd I

say

thin

gs li

ke I'

ve a

ctua

lly b

roke

n th

e ch

ains

B

roke

n th

e ch

ains

B

roke

n th

e ch

ains

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

72

Int

Mm

mm

73

Mar

tin

Cos

eve

n af

ter t

he fi

rst o

ne th

ere

seem

ed to

be

the

chai

ns th

ere

even

thou

gh I

was

aw

are

of th

em

they

wer

e so

rt of

hol

ding

me

back

from

doi

ng w

hat I

wan

ted

to d

o A

fter t

he fi

rst s

tory

, th

ere

wer

e st

ill c

hain

s ho

ldin

g hi

m b

ack

from

do

ing

wha

t he

wan

ted

to d

o

Cou

ld fe

el c

hain

s ho

ldin

g hi

m b

ack

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

74

Int

Rig

ht

75

M

artin

U

ntil

afte

r I d

id th

e fir

st o

ne o

nce

I got

use

d to

the

fact

that

I'd

done

it a

nd (.

) set

tled

with

it (.

) yo

u kn

ow I

was

qui

te h

appy

A

fter t

he in

itial

shoc

k of

the

first

stor

y w

as

quite

hap

py

Plea

sed

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

76

Int

Mm

77

Mar

tin

And

I've

use

d it

thro

ugh

the

teac

hing

I do

and

it's

even

mad

e m

e go

fast

er d

own

the

road

and

w

hen

I did

n't s

ee a

nyth

ing

befo

re n

ow I

actu

ally

see

som

ethi

ng a

t an

end

(.) I

don'

t thi

nk I'

ll ev

er

quite

reac

h it

(.) b

ut I'

m c

erta

inly

get

ting

clos

er to

the

end

and

I eve

n th

ough

t abo

ut so

met

hing

I di

dn't

drea

m o

f erm

ther

e'd b

e de

cent

tom

orro

w

Usi

ng st

ory

in te

achi

ng

help

ed h

is o

wn

reco

very

N

ow se

es a

brig

hter

fu

ture

Usi

ng st

ory

in

teac

hing

hel

ped

his r

ecov

ery

Opt

imis

tic a

bout

th

e fu

ture

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

App

endi

x 7

48

Nev

er d

ream

t of d

ecen

t fu

ture

bef

ore

78

Int

Rig

ht o

k

79

Mar

tin

I did

n't d

are

thin

k of

that

D

idn’

t dar

e th

ink

of a

de

cent

futu

re

Cou

ldn’

t thi

nk

abou

t the

futu

re

befo

re

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

80

Int

Rig

ht

81

M

artin

W

here

as n

ow y

eah

ther

e is

a (.

) bet

ter t

omor

row

it m

ight

not

be

idea

l N

ow se

es a

brig

hter

fu

ture

O

ptim

istic

abo

ut

the

futu

re

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

82

In

t N

o

83

Mar

tin

It m

ight

not

be

idea

l but

it's

bette

r tha

n w

hat I

've

had

Now

sees

a b

right

er

futu

re

Opt

imis

tic a

bout

th

e fu

ture

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

84

Int

Mm

mm

85

Mar

tin

And

that

I su

ppos

e is

the

bene

fit I

got f

rom

it a

ll (.)

but

as I

say

if pe

ople

see

the

diffe

renc

e be

twee

n th

e fir

st a

nd th

e se

cond

alo

ne

Rec

over

ed si

gnifi

cant

ly

betw

een

first

& se

cond

st

ory

Rec

over

ing

rapi

dly

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

86

Int

Yea

h

87

M

artin

Y

ou k

now

in su

ch a

s sho

rt sp

ace

of ti

me

(.) it

's on

ly ju

st o

ver a

yea

r and

eve

n th

e ch

ange

from

th

at to

err

that

one

sim

ply

beca

use

of h

ow th

ings

hav

e go

ne

Rap

id re

cove

ry

Rec

over

ing

rapi

dly

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

88

In

t D

o yo

u th

ink

the

fact

that

you

've

been

usi

ng y

our s

tory

on

a re

gula

r bas

is h

as k

ind

of h

elpe

d ra

ther

than

if y

ou ju

st d

id y

our s

tory

and

it m

aybe

wen

t on

the

web

site

you

show

ed it

to a

few

pe

ople

and

then

you

forg

ot a

bout

it y

ou k

now

whe

reas

you

've

been

usi

ng y

ours

per

haps

mor

e th

an m

ost p

eopl

e w

ould

89

Mar

tin

Yes

err

qui

te p

ossi

bly

I use

it a

t lea

st tw

ice

a ye

ar a

nd in

fact

it's

on B

lack

boar

d so

it's

ther

e (.)

w

ell I

don

't kn

ow w

heth

er it

stay

s on

ther

e or

not

(lau

ghte

r) I

know

the

first

one

that

was

still

left

on B

lack

boar

d fo

r the

soci

al w

orke

rs b

ut I'

ve a

lso

used

it w

ith th

e oc

cupa

tiona

l the

rapi

sts

90

Int

Rig

ht o

k

91

Mar

tin

And

they

've

got t

hem

on

Bla

ckbo

ard

but i

t's a

t lea

st o

nce

a ye

ar fo

r bot

h se

ts o

f stu

dent

s

92

Int

Mm

mm

93

Mar

tin

So it

's th

ere

(.) a

nd it

's ju

st m

ade

me

able

to a

nsw

er a

nyth

ing

(.) it

doe

sn't

both

er m

e ab

out t

he

traum

a or

any

thin

g an

ymor

e Tr

aum

a no

long

er

both

ers h

im

Muc

h m

ore

resi

lient

in

gene

ral

Mor

e em

otio

nally

re

silie

nt n

ow

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

94

Int

Rig

ht

95

M

artin

Y

ou k

now

it's

not (

.) I d

on't

see

ther

e's (.

) an

emot

iona

l atta

ck w

hich

is so

met

hing

that

use

d to

ca

use

me

prob

lem

s (.)

I was

fine

if y

ou st

ood

up a

nd w

ante

d to

arg

ue a

bout

any

thin

g M

ore

emot

iona

lly

resi

lient

now

Le

ss a

rgum

enta

tive

now

Mor

e em

otio

nally

re

silie

nt n

ow

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

96

Int

Mm

mm

97

Mar

tin

Qua

ntum

phy

sics

or w

hate

ver y

ou k

now

I ar

gue

abou

t it q

uite

nic

ely

but i

f it w

as so

met

hing

on

an e

mot

iona

l lev

el I

was

not

ver

y go

od a

t it

Mor

e em

otio

nally

re

silie

nt n

ow

Mor

e em

otio

nally

re

silie

nt n

ow

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

App

endi

x 7

49

Less

arg

umen

tativ

e no

w

98

Int

Um

m m

m

99

M

artin

W

here

as n

ow it

doe

sn't

real

ly b

othe

r me

that

muc

h (.)

I ju

st a

ccep

t it f

or w

hat i

t is (

.) an

d ha

ve

my

way

s of c

opin

g w

ith it

A

ble

to a

ccep

t the

pas

t be

tter

Has

eff

ectiv

e co

ping

st

rate

gies

Mor

e em

otio

nally

re

silie

nt n

ow

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

100

Int

Yea

h

101

Mar

tin

But

it's

all c

ome

thro

ugh

the

stor

ies r

eally

R

ecov

ery

is a

ll as

a

resu

lt of

the

stor

ies

Rec

over

y du

e to

st

orie

s Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

102

Int

Mm

mm

103

Mar

tin

Espe

cial

ly th

e or

igin

al o

ne e

ven

thou

gh I

had

a m

ad h

our a

t the

end

of e

rm I

supp

ose

it w

as

real

ly b

ecau

se I

was

on

my

own

Firs

t one

was

mos

t po

wer

ful

Pow

erfu

l sto

ries

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

10

4 In

t Y

es

10

5 M

artin

C

omin

g to

term

s with

it a

nd it

was

just

that

and

afte

r an

hour

I re

alis

ed a

nd lo

gic

kick

ed in

(.)

you

know

the

chan

ce o

f six

mill

ion

peop

le sw

itchi

ng o

n at

six

o'cl

ock

I'd b

e be

tter o

ff try

ing

to

win

the

lotte

ry to

be

hone

st c

os th

ere

not n

obod

y kn

ew it

was

ther

e ev

en

Abl

e to

com

e to

term

s w

ith h

is st

ory

Stor

y he

lped

him

to

com

e to

term

s w

ith p

ast

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

106

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

10

7 M

artin

Y

ou k

now

it w

as n

ot o

n th

e th

ing

then

108

Int

But

it w

as y

our p

erce

ptio

n at

the

time

10

9 M

artin

Y

eah

the

initi

al th

ing

it w

as e

rr (.

) it w

as li

ke a

shoc

k th

ing

In sh

ock

afte

r firs

t sto

ry

re. a

nony

mity

U

nset

tling

D

iffic

ult p

roce

ss

11

0 In

t B

ut it

's al

mos

t err

cor

rect

me

if I'm

wro

ng b

ut (.

) jus

t tal

king

gen

eral

ly n

ow if

you

've

had

a tra

umat

ic li

fe e

vent

and

you

've

not e

rr so

me

peop

le k

now

abo

ut it

but

you

've

not r

eally

sort

of

shar

ed it

and

then

may

be y

ou st

art s

harin

g it

with

one

or t

wo

peop

le th

at's

a bi

g st

ep

111

Mar

tin

I thi

nk it

was

the

prem

ier (

laug

hter

) eve

n th

ough

I'd

be sa

t with

the

othe

r sto

ryte

llers

for d

ays i

n fa

ct y

our f

irst d

ay is

nor

mal

ly y

our s

at in

you

r gro

up a

nd te

ll w

hat y

our s

tory

's go

ing

to b

e ab

out

so I'

d be

en sa

t with

thes

e pe

ople

it's

just

that

erm

we'd

all

seen

our

ow

n st

orie

s ind

ivid

ually

and

pe

ople

from

the

univ

ersi

ty h

ad lo

oked

at t

hem

and

said

how

goo

d th

ey w

ere

112

Int

Rig

ht

11

3 M

artin

B

ut th

is w

as e

rr it

mig

ht a

s wel

l hav

e be

en in

the

Ode

on o

r som

ewhe

re

Show

ing

his s

tory

in

prem

iere

was

a b

ig

thin

g fo

r him

Felt

vuln

erab

le

Diff

icul

t pro

cess

114

Int

(laug

hter

)

115

Mar

tin

(laug

hter

) the

gre

at fi

lm p

rem

iere

was

com

ing

up th

e on

ly th

ing

that

was

mis

sing

was

the

Osc

ars

and

the

pop

corn

real

ly b

ut e

very

thin

g el

se y

ou k

now

it w

as th

ere

(.) a

nd it

was

just

one

stor

y af

ter t

he o

ther

116

Int

Mm

mm

117

Mar

tin

And

yea

h so

rt of

logi

c w

ent o

ut th

e w

indo

w fo

r a sh

ort t

ime

Som

ewha

t con

fuse

d at

en

d of

firs

t wor

ksho

p U

nset

tled

Diff

icul

t pro

cess

118

Int

Wha

t do

you

thin

k w

as th

e ef

fect

of t

he fa

ct th

at y

ou w

ere

doin

g th

is w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

and

othe

r

App

endi

x 7

50

peop

le e

rr I

prob

ably

hav

e se

en m

ost o

f the

stor

ies b

ut I'

d ju

st w

onde

ring

wha

t the

eff

ect o

f se

eing

oth

er p

eopl

e of

doi

ng it

with

oth

er p

eopl

e w

ho w

ere

talk

ing

abou

t diff

icul

t life

eve

nts o

r tra

uma

and

then

seei

ng th

em sh

are

it w

as w

ell

119

Mar

tin

Wel

l it w

as a

ctua

lly q

uite

com

forti

ng re

ally

you

kno

w e

ven

thou

gh th

ere

was

not

ano

ther

one

in

the

sam

e po

sitio

n as

me

Com

forti

ng to

be

doin

g it

with

oth

er p

eopl

e Su

ppor

tive

grou

p Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 12

0 In

t M

mm

121

Mar

tin

Ever

ybod

y ha

d di

ffer

ent t

raum

atic

exp

erie

nces

Ev

eryb

ody

had

diffe

rent

trau

mat

ic

expe

rienc

es

Bon

ded

with

gr

oup

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

122

Int

Yea

h I m

ean

Paul

's is

qui

te e

rr

12

3 M

artin

Y

ou k

now

wel

l err

I fe

lt yo

u kn

ow I'

d ha

ve li

ke to

hav

e be

en th

ere

beca

use

I'd h

ave

the

one

that

w

as e

rr fi

ghtin

g fo

r him

W

ante

d to

supp

ort o

ther

gr

oup

mem

bers

B

onde

d w

ith

grou

p Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 12

4 In

t R

ight

125

Mar

tin

You

kno

w w

hen

he w

as b

eing

bul

lied

12

6 In

t In

his

situ

atio

n

127

Mar

tin

I'd b

e th

e on

e th

at w

as e

rr c

ome

from

beh

ind

and

say

oi h

ave

a go

at m

e co

s I'd

don

't m

ind

you

know

that

was

som

ethi

ng th

at I

felt

for h

im

128

Int

Rig

ht o

k ye

s

129

Mar

tin

I cou

ld q

uite

eas

ily h

ave

been

the

one

that

wou

ld'v

e st

and

with

him

and

say

right

com

e on

130

Int

Mm

mm

131

Mar

tin

So th

ere

are

little

thin

gs th

at y

ou p

ick

up a

nd th

ink

(.) y

eah

a bi

t mor

e th

an e

mpa

thy

beca

use

it's

som

ethi

ng th

at y

our n

ow e

rm (1

) yea

h it

give

s you

a b

ond

to a

cer

tain

ext

ent a

s in

the

only

pe

rson

I re

ally

see

is P

ep a

nd e

rm c

os w

e te

nd to

do

the

soci

al w

ork

stud

ents

toge

ther

any

way

co

me

Oct

ober

tim

e bu

t Pau

l I se

e qu

ite a

lot j

ust f

loat

ing

abou

t and

its e

rr a

bit

of b

ond

even

if

it's o

nly

a lo

ose

one

it's t

here

bec

ause

i kn

ow th

at th

ey'v

e go

t tra

umat

ic th

ings

the

sam

e as

I ha

ve

just

slig

htly

diff

eren

t tha

t's a

ll bu

t it h

asn'

t les

sene

d th

e ef

fect

is w

hat I

'm tr

ying

to sa

y

Show

ing

a bi

t mor

e th

an e

mpa

thy

Bon

ded

with

som

e gr

oup

mem

bers

St

ill se

es P

ep &

Pau

l oc

casi

onal

ly

Bon

ded

with

gr

oup

Still

feel

s the

su

ppor

t fro

m th

e gr

oup

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

132

Int

It ha

sn't

less

ened

the

effe

ct o

n yo

u or

err

133

Mar

tin

That

bit

didn

't it

just

mad

e m

e aw

are

that

I'm

not

alo

ne w

ith tr

aum

a

Rea

lised

that

he

is n

ot

alon

e w

ith tr

aum

a St

ill fe

els t

he

supp

ort f

rom

the

grou

p

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

134

Int

Yea

h su

re su

re

13

5 M

artin

Ev

en th

ough

I've

bee

n do

wn

the

road

of e

rm o

f a su

rviv

ors g

roup

that

was

just

a g

roup

of

surv

ivor

s so

you

expe

ct to

hav

e so

me

kind

of b

ond

with

them

but

this

was

a b

ond

that

I w

asn'

t qu

ite e

xpec

ting

cos i

t was

all

diffe

rent

trau

mas

Had

supp

ort f

rom

oth

er

grou

ps in

pas

t Th

is w

as d

iffer

ent a

s w

ider

rang

e of

peo

ple

Still

feel

s the

su

ppor

t fro

m th

e gr

oup

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

136

Int

Mm

mm

137

Mar

tin

And

we

do m

eet u

p ev

ery

now

and

aga

in in

var

ious

thin

gs y

ou k

now

som

e of

the

care

rs I

mee

t up

with

and

that

and

it's

still

ther

e th

at b

onds

still

ther

e

Still

mee

ts so

me

of th

e gr

oup

and

bond

is st

ill

ther

e

Still

feel

s the

su

ppor

t fro

m th

e gr

oup

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

138

Int

Yea

h

13

9 M

artin

A

nd I

thin

k th

at's

som

ethi

ng th

at I'

d al

way

s shi

ed a

way

from

H

ad a

lway

s shi

ed a

way

A

ble

to b

ond

with

Fe

els m

ore

in

App

endi

x 7

51

from

get

ting

clos

e to

pe

ople

pe

ople

mor

e th

an

befo

re

cont

rol n

ow

140

Int

Mm

mm

141

Mar

tin

Any

body

with

err

(.) i

n fa

ct v

ery

few

peo

ple

knew

wha

t hap

pene

d H

ad k

ept h

is h

isto

ry a

se

cret

H

ad k

ept h

is

hist

ory

a se

cret

D

iffic

ulty

mov

ing

forw

ard

befo

re

142

Int

Mm

143

Mar

tin

And

now

ther

e's a

lot m

ore

peop

le k

now

wha

t hap

pene

d an

d I'm

fairl

y co

mfo

rtabl

e w

ith it

(.) I

'm

very

com

forta

ble

with

in th

e un

iver

sity

Lo

t mor

e pe

ople

kno

w

abou

t his

his

tory

H

e’s n

ow c

omfo

rtabl

e w

ith p

eopl

e kn

owin

g hi

s his

tory

Mor

e ab

le to

be

open

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

144

Int

Yea

h su

re

14

5 M

artin

A

ll th

e st

uden

ts a

re v

ery

good

(.) b

ut th

ese

are

outs

ider

s tha

t I fe

el c

omfo

rtabl

e w

ith

Mor

e co

nfid

ent n

ow

Mor

e co

nfid

ent

now

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

146

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

14

7 M

artin

Th

at's

neve

r hap

pene

d co

s I'd

nev

er a

llow

it

14

8 In

t M

m m

m

14

9 M

artin

I'd

nev

er a

llow

that

to h

appe

n

150

Int

Mm

m so

in so

me

sens

e th

is k

ind

of e

rm a

nd I

don'

t wan

t to

put w

ords

in y

our m

outh

it's

alm

ost

chan

ged

the

way

you

see

the

wor

ld o

r how

you

see

othe

r peo

ple

err w

here

as p

erha

ps b

efor

e yo

u di

dn't

feel

safe

with

them

151

Mar

tin

No

15

2 In

t To

talk

abo

ut c

erta

in th

ings

153

Mar

tin

I sup

pose

you

'd c

all i

t a b

it of

par

anoi

a I h

ad I

had

even

it w

eren

't fo

r any

thin

g (in

audi

ble)

cos

I ju

st w

ould

n't a

llow

any

body

in

Bit

para

noid

bef

ore

but

OK

now

Fe

els m

ore

conf

iden

t now

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

154

Int

Yea

h su

re

15

5 M

artin

W

here

as n

ow it

's a

case

of I

hav

e le

t the

m in

and

I've

don

e it

quite

eas

ily

Now

abl

e to

let p

eopl

e ge

t clo

se to

him

A

ble

to b

ond

with

pe

ople

mor

e th

an

befo

re

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

156

Int

Mm

m

15

7 M

artin

H

ence

in th

e se

cond

stor

y br

eaki

ng th

e ch

ains

bit

(.) is

wha

t it m

eans

(.) a

nd if

I re

mem

ber

right

ly th

e la

st li

ttle

bit g

oes t

he tr

aum

a w

ill a

lway

s affe

ct m

e bu

t the

thin

gs th

at c

hang

ed is

it

won

't co

ntro

l me

anym

ore

The

traum

a w

ill a

lway

s ef

fect

him

but

will

no

long

er c

ontro

l him

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

158

Int

Yea

h su

re

15

9 M

artin

A

nd th

at's

the

grea

t diff

eren

ce it

won

't co

ntro

l me

anym

ore

Feel

s muc

h fr

eer n

ow

Feel

s muc

h fr

eer

now

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

160

Int

Mm

mm

161

Mar

tin

And

may

be th

at's

wha

t it i

s may

be it

's a

bit o

f con

trol t

hing

that

I'm

in c

ontro

l of (

.) w

ho I

tell

who

do

I tel

l and

I fe

el a

lot m

ore

com

forta

ble

with

a lo

t mor

e pe

ople

than

I di

d be

fore

Fe

els m

ore

in c

ontro

l no

w

Feel

s mor

e co

mfo

rtabl

e w

ith m

ore

peop

le n

ow

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

App

endi

x 7

52

162

Int

Did

doi

ng th

is st

ory

help

you

to c

larif

y th

at in

you

r min

d th

e fa

ct th

at th

e tra

uma

will

alw

ays

effe

ct y

ou b

ut it

won

't al

way

s con

trol y

ou

163

Mar

tin

This

is it

eve

n af

ter t

he fi

rst o

ne (.

) im

med

iate

ly a

fter i

t was

alw

ays s

eem

to b

e th

at th

is c

hain

w

as p

ullin

g m

e ba

ck it

wou

ldn'

t let

me

go m

uch

beyo

nd th

at

Ther

e’s a

lway

s see

med

to

be

a ch

ain

hold

ing

him

bac

k

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

D

iffic

ulty

mov

ing

forw

ard

befo

re

164

Int

Rig

ht y

es

16

5 M

artin

A

nd (.

) yea

h it

was

star

ted

doin

g th

at u

sing

it a

t uni

vers

ity a

nd a

ll th

at a

nd th

e ch

ain

just

w

eake

ned

and

ever

ythi

ng ju

st w

ent a

nd th

at w

as it

Th

roug

h us

ing

his s

tory

at

the

univ

ersi

ty, c

hain

be

cam

e w

eake

r and

has

no

w b

roke

n

Use

s sto

ry in

te

achi

ng

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

166

Int

Dur

ing

the

first

one

167

Mar

tin

Yea

h be

caus

e I f

elt m

ore

com

forta

ble

with

mys

elf a

bout

it a

nd e

rr th

e tu

g of

the

chai

n w

asn'

t th

ere

anym

ore

it'd

gone

(.) i

t's g

ot b

roke

n Fe

els m

ore

com

forta

ble

with

him

self

Cha

in h

as b

een

brok

en

Feel

s mor

e co

nfid

ent n

ow

Cha

in h

as b

een

brok

en

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

168

Int

Gre

at

16

9 M

artin

It'

s got

bro

ken

and

that

was

it (.

) so

now

I ca

n lo

ok a

t and

thin

g w

hy d

idn'

t thi

s hap

pen

man

y ye

ars a

go re

ally

C

hain

has

bee

n br

oken

W

onde

rs w

hy it

did

n’t

happ

en e

arlie

r

Cha

in h

as b

een

brok

en

Mys

tery

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 17

0 In

t Y

ou sa

y th

at in

you

r sec

ond

stor

y

171

Mar

tin

Why

did

n't t

his h

appe

n m

any

year

s ago

172

Int

Yea

h

173

Mar

tin

But

it's

like

ever

ythi

ng e

lse

prog

ress

ion

isn'

t it

17

4 In

t W

ell v

ery

muc

h so

175

Mar

tin

And

that

's th

e on

ly th

ing

I hop

e th

roug

h th

e st

orie

s tha

t peo

ple

see

is th

e fa

ct th

at th

ere

is

prog

ress

ion

even

for s

omeb

ody

as fa

r dow

n th

e lin

e as

me

and

I had

a lo

ng w

ay to

com

e an

d yo

ur k

now

(.) a

lot t

o ch

ange

(.) s

ort o

f 40

odd

year

s of d

oing

thin

gs m

y w

ay (.

) beh

avin

g in

a

certa

in w

ay fo

r tha

t to

be re

vers

ed y

ou k

now

it's

not g

oing

to h

appe

n ov

erni

ght

Wan

ts p

eopl

e to

kno

w

that

reco

very

is p

ossi

ble

even

afte

r dec

ades

of

men

tal i

llnes

s

Wan

ting

othe

rs to

se

e th

at re

cove

ry

is p

ossi

ble

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

176

Int

No

17

7 M

artin

B

ut th

at I

just

hop

e th

at w

ith th

e st

uff I

do

it w

ill g

ive

the

stud

ents

som

e in

sigh

t whe

n th

ey g

o to

se

e pe

ople

and

cat

ch th

em e

arlie

r tha

t's th

e w

hole

idea

is to

cat

ch th

em e

arlie

r and

then

ther

e w

on't

be p

eopl

e lik

e m

e w

ell t

here

will

be

Hop

es st

uden

ts g

et

insi

ght i

nto

peop

le w

ith

MH

pro

blem

s and

are

ab

le to

hel

p th

em e

arlie

r

Wan

t oth

ers t

o le

arn

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

178

Int

Yea

h

179

Mar

tin

Ther

e w

ill a

lway

s be

peop

le li

ke m

e ju

st th

ey'll

cau

ght e

arly

with

a b

it of

luck

W

ants

to im

prov

e se

rvic

es

Wan

ts to

impr

ove

serv

ices

W

ante

d to

hel

p ot

hers

18

0 In

t Y

eah

18

1 M

artin

A

nd tr

eate

d ea

rly a

nd y

eah

so th

at's

all I

(ina

udib

le)

18

2 In

t M

m

18

3 M

artin

A

nd it

's fo

r me

I've

done

it fo

r me

as w

ell y

ou k

now

that

's pa

rt of

it I'

m a

ctua

lly d

oing

it fo

r me

Doe

s tea

chin

g fo

r D

oes t

each

ing

for

Feel

s mor

e in

App

endi

x 7

53

as w

ell (

laug

hter

) hi

mse

lf as

wel

l hi

mse

lf as

wel

l co

ntro

l now

18

4 In

t So

did

you

exp

ect i

t to

have

som

e th

erap

eutic

val

ue fo

r you

to c

ome

out f

eelin

g be

tter i

n so

me

way

afte

r the

thre

e da

ys

185

Mar

tin

I did

n't a

ctua

lly k

now

I kn

ew th

at e

rr w

ell I

use

d to

writ

e an

d th

at u

sed

to a

lway

s mak

e m

e fe

el a

lit

tle b

ette

r but

I di

dn't

unde

rsta

nd w

hat i

t was

doi

ng in

that

resp

ect i

t was

just

yea

h I d

id fe

el a

bi

t bet

ter

Did

n’t k

now

whe

ther

he

’d b

enef

it fr

om th

e w

orks

hop

Alth

ough

kne

w w

ritin

g he

lped

Few

exp

ecta

tions

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

186

Int

Mm

mm

187

Mar

tin

Whe

reas

this

was

a to

tal e

xpan

sion

on

that

and

sort

of a

fter t

hat i

nitia

l bit

it so

rt of

yea

h it'

s he

lpin

g ot

hers

but

it w

as h

elpi

ng m

e th

at's

whe

n it

star

ted

it w

asn'

t jus

t a c

ase

of if

yea

h I a

lway

s th

ough

t if I

can

doi

ng so

met

hing

els

e so

met

hing

els

e is

com

ing

up th

at's

(inau

dibl

e) y

eah

brill

iant

I th

ough

t I w

as w

ell p

asse

d it

Proc

ess a

lot m

ore

pow

erfu

l tha

n w

ritin

g w

as fo

r him

W

ante

d to

hel

p ot

hers

Th

ough

he

was

pas

sed

it

Wan

t oth

ers t

o le

arn

Did

n’t t

hink

he

coul

d ch

ange

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

188

Int

Rig

ht

18

9 M

artin

A

nd I'

ve sa

id th

at in

the

past

you

kno

w I'

m to

o fa

r dow

n th

e ro

ad it

's so

man

y ye

ars b

ehin

d m

e th

at I

can'

t cha

nge

(.) I

actu

ally

bel

ieve

d I c

ould

n't c

hang

e D

idn’

t thi

nk h

e co

uld

chan

ge

Did

n’t t

hink

he

coul

d ch

ange

D

iffic

ulty

mov

ing

forw

ard

befo

re

190

Int

Rig

ht

19

1 M

artin

A

nd a

fter d

oing

the

stor

y (.)

that

's w

hen

thin

gs st

arte

d to

cha

nge

a lit

tle b

it (.)

and

the

mor

e I w

as

doin

g it

(.) th

e m

ore

thin

gs c

hang

ed (.

) and

thin

gs g

ot b

ette

r for

me

Afte

r the

stor

y he

did

be

gin

to c

hang

e an

d th

is

has p

ersi

sted

Rec

over

ing

rapi

dly

Opt

imis

tic

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

192

Int

Mm

193

Mar

tin

But

I di

dn't

delib

erat

ely

go o

ut th

ere

and

thin

k I'm

goi

ng to

do

this

and

I'm

goi

ng to

feel

tons

be

tter

Did

n’t d

o it

with

the

inte

ntio

n of

hel

ping

hi

mse

lf to

feel

bet

ter

Few

exp

ecta

tions

D

idn’

t thi

nk h

e co

uld

chan

ge

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g fo

rwar

d be

fore

194

Int

Mm

195

Mar

tin

I did

n't a

ctua

lly b

elie

ve th

at (.

) and

I co

uld

have

gon

e do

ne d

own

the

road

and

said

no

I wan

t it

just

for m

e or

I'll

let t

he u

nive

rsity

see

it bu

t nob

ody

else

196

Int

Yea

h

197

Mar

tin

I cou

ld h

ave

gone

dow

n th

at ro

ad

19

8 In

t So

som

ehow

dur

ing

the

proc

ess y

our v

iew

of y

our f

utur

e ch

ange

d al

mos

t lik

e a

door

ope

ned

and

you

kind

of t

hink

wel

l act

ually

may

be th

ere

is a

cha

nce

of re

cove

ry

199

Mar

tin

It w

asn'

t sor

t of o

pene

d w

ide

20

0 In

t N

o no

201

Mar

tin

You

r rig

ht th

at's

a go

od a

nalo

gy re

ally

in th

at (.

) the

re's

a do

or in

the

corn

er a

nd a

ll of

sudd

en it

op

ens a

littl

e bi

t (.)

wel

l its

alw

ays b

een

lock

ed

202

Int

Yea

h

203

Mar

tin

So it

's op

ened

a li

ttle

bit g

ives

a c

hanc

e to

snea

k an

d ha

ve a

littl

e lo

ok ro

und

the

corn

er y

ou

know

wha

t's b

ehin

d th

at d

oor a

nd th

at's

sort

of y

eah

that

's qu

ite g

ood

actu

ally

cos

that

's th

e ki

nd

of fe

elin

g it

was

I w

ante

d to

hav

e lit

tle lo

ok b

ehin

d th

at d

oor

Hel

ped

him

to c

hang

e H

elpe

d hi

m to

ch

ange

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

App

endi

x 7

54

204

Int

Mm

205

Mar

tin

And

to se

e w

hat w

as g

oing

on

and

all o

f sud

den

I cou

ld a

ctua

lly g

o in

that

one

that

's an

othe

r ro

om I

can

go in

to a

noth

er sp

ace

I can

go

Hel

ped

him

to se

e th

ings

diff

eren

tly

Hel

ped

him

to se

e th

ings

diff

eren

tly

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

20

6 In

t Y

es d

o yo

u th

ink

ther

e's a

nyth

ing

in th

e w

ay th

at th

e w

orks

hop

was

faci

litat

ed th

at k

ind

of c

os

you

know

you

've

got t

he te

chno

logy

you

've

got t

he sh

arin

g th

e st

uff y

ou d

o yo

urse

lf th

e w

ritin

g th

e pr

esen

tatio

n bu

t how

it's

pres

ente

d an

d ho

w y

ou're

supp

orte

d th

roug

h it

is so

met

hing

that

's

207

Mar

tin

Wel

l I th

ink

that

's th

e im

porta

nt p

art

Faci

litat

ion

was

im

porta

nt

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

208

Int

Mm

cos

it c

ould

be

done

in a

ver

y te

chno

logi

cal w

ay

20

9 M

artin

I t

hink

if it

had

bee

n ju

st a

cas

e of

erm

(1) s

omeb

ody

from

erm

the

IT p

eopl

e in

the

univ

ersi

ty

play

ing

ther

e w

ith th

e co

mpu

ters

whi

le I

was

sayi

ng so

met

hing

and

add

ing

the

bits

that

I w

ante

d to

be

adde

d w

hils

t I w

as te

lling

my

stor

y I d

on't

thin

k th

at w

ould

wor

k th

e sa

me

as th

at li

ttle

bit

210

Int

No

21

1 M

artin

If

you

feel

a b

it of

f it P

ip w

as th

ere

you

know

sort

of v

ery

intu

itive

pro

babl

y (.)

to lo

ok v

ery

com

forta

ble

just

a li

ttle

chat

then

ther

e's n

ice

regu

lar b

reak

s jus

t to

get a

cof

fee

and

chat

abo

ut a

ll so

rts o

f stu

ff to

act

ually

take

it a

way

from

it b

ut it

's w

hen

you

get i

nvol

ved

to d

o th

e lit

tle b

its

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

212

Int

Rig

ht o

k

213

Mar

tin

You

brin

g yo

ur o

wn

pict

ures

C

ontro

lling

con

tent

was

im

porta

nt

Con

trolli

ng

cont

ent w

as

impo

rtant

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

214

Int

Cos

you

've

got a

n an

imat

ion

in y

ours

215

Mar

tin

Wel

l thi

s is i

t whe

n w

e fir

st d

iscu

ssed

wha

t it w

as a

bout

that

was

whe

n I r

eally

said

tota

lly

anon

ymou

s not

goi

ng to

be

me

(.) a

t all

216

Int

Um

m

21

7 M

artin

So

hen

ce th

e ro

ad th

e co

untry

lane

and

they

said

wha

t do

you

wan

t and

I sa

id w

ell y

eah

(.) y

ou

know

thin

king

abo

ut m

y gr

oup

in a

way

Fa

cilit

ator

s hel

ped

him

to

exp

ress

him

self

Empo

wer

ing

faci

litat

ion

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

218

Int

Step

s

219

Mar

tin

So I

just

thou

ght y

eah

foot

prin

ts a

nd I

had

foot

prin

ts g

oing

squi

ggly

acr

oss t

he sc

reen

220

Int

Wel

l the

y go

up

and

then

dow

n

221

Mar

tin

They

go

squi

ggly

it's

a w

avy

line

isn'

t it b

ut th

ey so

rt of

star

t mid

dle

and

they

go

dow

n do

n't t

hey

and

they

slow

ly b

ut su

rely

it e

nds u

p a

bit f

urth

er u

p

222

Int

Yea

h

22

3 M

artin

Th

at w

as v

ery

delib

erat

e th

e fa

ct th

at's

whe

re I

star

ted

from

and

the

ups a

nd d

owns

and

twis

ts

I've

actu

ally

still

end

ed u

p a

little

bit

furth

er u

p an

d th

en th

e en

d pi

ctur

e w

as (.

) the

road

had

got

sh

orte

r it w

as a

ctua

lly th

e sa

me

pict

ure

Expr

essi

on a

nd c

ontro

l im

porta

nt

Expr

essi

on a

nd

cont

rol i

mpo

rtant

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

224

Int

Rig

ht o

k

225

Mar

tin

It w

as th

e sa

me

pict

ure

but I

wan

ted

it lo

ok a

s tho

ugh

I'd g

ot d

own

the

road

a b

it so

Pip

just

br

ough

t it i

n W

ante

d to

show

pr

ogre

ss in

stor

y W

antin

g ot

hers

to

see

that

reco

very

is

pos

sibl

e

Wan

ted

to h

elp

othe

rs

226

Int

Mm

mm

227

Mar

tin

I dec

ided

yea

h fo

r all

I don

't w

ant t

o be

on

scre

en w

hat I

will

do

is th

e by

e bi

t whi

ch is

the

last

W

ante

d an

onym

ity

Felt

vuln

erab

le

Diff

icul

ty m

ovin

g

App

endi

x 7

55

fram

e th

at y

ou se

e fo

rwar

d be

fore

22

8 In

t R

ight

229

Mar

tin

Is m

e w

alki

ng d

own

the

corr

idor

in H

alla

m

23

0 In

t Y

eah

yeah

231

Mar

tin

Bye

(.) a

nd e

ven

that

's w

ithin

the

little

spac

e of

telli

ng th

e st

ory

(.) e

ven

that

littl

e bi

t had

gro

wn

Ove

r the

wor

ksho

p de

velo

ped

conf

iden

ce

for a

per

sona

l pho

to to

be

incl

uded

Dev

elop

ed

conf

iden

ce

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

232

Int

Ok

so th

ings

like

that

can

be

havi

ng b

een

thro

ugh

it m

ysel

f litt

le th

ings

you

do

can

be v

ery

sym

bolic

233

Mar

tin

Wel

l it w

as v

ery

delib

erat

e on

my

beha

lf th

at I

wan

ted

it th

at w

ay a

nd I

wan

ted

the

finis

h sl

ight

ly

high

er th

an th

e st

art

234

Int

Yea

h

235

Mar

tin

Ver

y de

liber

ate

but (

.) I k

now

wha

t it w

as a

bout

236

Int

Yea

h

237

Mar

tin

In a

lot o

f way

s tha

t was

ver

y pe

rson

al

Ver

y pe

rson

al st

ory

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 23

8 In

t O

h ye

ah

23

9 M

artin

W

ell I

felt

I'd m

oved

a b

it (.)

rega

rdle

ss o

f wha

t oth

er p

eopl

e sa

w

Felt

he’d

mov

ed

forw

ard

in 3

day

s R

apid

reco

very

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

240

Int

And

are

you

thin

king

of t

hat m

ovem

ent i

n re

latio

n to

wha

t hap

pene

d in

thos

e th

ree

days

?

241

Mar

tin

Yea

h

242

Int

So a

s a re

sult

of y

our e

xper

ienc

e ov

er th

e th

ree

days

you

felt

a bi

t fur

ther

alo

ng th

e jo

urne

y an

d a

bit h

ighe

r tha

n yo

u di

d to

star

t with

243

Mar

tin

Yes

pre

cise

ly

24

4 In

t A

nd th

at if

you

like

star

ted

to c

hang

e yo

ur v

iew

of w

hat c

ould

hap

pen

in th

e fu

ture

B

ecam

e m

ore

optim

istic

abo

ut th

e fu

ture

Feel

s mor

e op

timis

tic

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

245

Mar

tin

Wel

l tha

t was

the

star

t of i

t (.)

the

odd

daft

setb

ack

but a

as y

ou sa

y it'

s lik

e ev

eryt

hing

els

e

246

Int

Mm

247

Mar

tin

To se

e al

l the

stor

ies t

oget

her i

n th

e fil

m p

rem

ier t

hat I

cou

ld u

nder

stan

d th

at's

how

it w

ent a

nd it

w

as ju

st a

n ho

ur o

f pan

ic in

me

head

all

sorts

of t

hing

s whi

zzin

g th

roug

h (.)

unt

il th

e so

rt of

logi

c ki

cked

in a

gain

and

thin

gs c

hang

ed

248

Int

Do

you

thin

k th

ere's

som

ethi

ng a

bout

erm

(1) f

acin

g yo

ur d

emon

s not

to so

und

too

emot

ive

abou

t it?

249

Mar

tin

Yea

h it'

s jus

t the

way

you

face

them

I th

ink

and

this

is w

hat p

sych

othe

rapy

wer

e ve

ry w

ary

of

25

0 In

t Y

eah

25

1 M

artin

If

they

som

ebod

y so

rt of

sat t

here

hel

ping

me

to c

onfr

ont t

hese

dem

ons I

'm m

ore

likel

y to

pun

ch

thei

r lig

hts o

ut c

os I'

m g

ettin

g w

ound

up

and

that

was

n't t

he ri

ght w

ay to

do

it W

as e

ffect

ivel

y ab

le to

fa

ce d

emon

s cf.

psyc

hoth

erap

y

Abl

e to

face

de

mon

s Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

252

Int

No

App

endi

x 7

56

25

3 M

artin

Th

e rig

ht w

ay to

do

is to

sort

of le

t me

(.) c

ontro

l wha

t bits

com

e ou

t whe

n th

ey c

ome

out a

nd I

still

get

to th

e en

d it'

s jus

t how

long

it ta

kes m

ight

be

long

er th

an sh

orte

r its

one

of t

hose

thin

gs

(.) it

's m

ore

I hav

e co

ntro

l of w

hat b

its c

ome

out a

nd w

hen

they

com

e ou

t

Abi

lity

to c

ontro

l pac

e of

dis

clos

ure

was

cr

ucia

l

Con

trol w

as

impo

rtant

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

254

Int

Rig

ht in

the

digi

tal s

tory

telli

ng

25

5 M

artin

D

igita

l sto

ries a

re n

ot m

uch

diff

eren

t to

that

(.) I

had

me

scrip

t and

the

scrip

t on

the

first

day

is

noth

ing

like

the

finis

hed

prod

uct (

.) in

a lo

t of r

espe

cts i

t had

cha

nged

as i

t wen

t alo

ng

Stor

y ch

ange

d ov

er th

e 3

days

R

apid

cha

nge

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

25

6 In

t So

is th

at

25

7 M

artin

I w

as tr

ying

to g

et th

e fe

elin

gs a

cros

s tha

t I fe

lt W

as tr

ying

to e

xpre

ss

his f

eelin

gs

Expr

essi

on

impo

rtant

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 25

8 In

t M

m m

m

25

9 M

artin

I d

idn'

t wan

t tha

t to

chan

ge b

ut so

me

of th

e ot

her t

hing

s tha

t did

cha

nge

that

I ca

n't e

ven

rem

embe

r now

but

I ju

st n

eede

d to

cha

nge

thos

e lit

tle b

its

Nee

ded

to c

hang

e a

few

bi

ts

Expr

essi

on

impo

rtant

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 26

0 In

t R

ight

261

Mar

tin

And

as I

say

the

heig

ht o

f the

fini

sh w

as to

tally

for m

e it

was

n't m

eant

for a

nyon

e el

se e

ven

thou

gh it

's qu

ite o

bvio

us it

fini

shes

like

that

St

ory

had

pers

onal

m

eani

ng w

hich

may

be

hidd

en to

oth

ers

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

262

Int

Yea

h

263

Mar

tin

They

wou

ldn'

t kno

w w

hy it

did

(.) f

or m

e it

was

ver

y pa

rticu

lar t

hat I

wan

ted

it to

do

that

but

that

w

as fo

r me

(.) it

's lik

e ar

tists

put

a li

ttle

squi

ggle

som

ewhe

re a

nd th

ey're

they

onl

y on

es w

ho

know

whe

re it

is (.

) you

kno

w th

at so

rt of

thin

g

264

Int

Mm

yea

h

265

Mar

tin

And

of c

ours

e w

hen

the

seco

nd o

ne c

ame

alon

g (.)

I sp

oke

to P

ip I

said

I kn

ow w

hat I

wan

t (.)

I w

ant t

hing

s tha

t (.)

it's w

hat i

t mea

ns to

me

with

the

seco

nd o

ne w

as th

e gh

osts

W

ante

d gh

osts

in

seco

nd o

ne

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 26

6 In

t M

m

26

7 M

artin

Th

e gh

osts

I w

ante

d th

em to

app

ear a

nd d

isap

pear

unt

il th

e la

st o

ne w

here

it sh

rinks

and

van

ishe

s an

d I k

now

it's

ther

e bu

t it's

not

goi

ng to

con

trol m

e an

ymor

e th

at's

the

thin

g al

l tho

se d

emon

s ha

ve lo

st c

ontro

l of m

e it'

s jus

t how

I pu

t it t

he d

emon

s'll a

lway

s eff

ect m

e th

ey d

on't

appe

ar

anym

ore

cos I

bro

ke th

e ch

ains

from

them

they

're n

ot g

oing

to c

ontro

l me

anym

ore

Wan

ted

ghos

ts to

di

sapp

ear

Wan

ted

to sh

ow th

at th

e de

mon

s had

lost

thei

r po

wer

Dem

ons h

ad lo

st

thei

r pow

er

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

268

Int

It's i

nter

estin

g to

hea

r you

talk

abo

ut c

ontro

l and

I'm

won

derin

g w

heth

er th

ere's

any

par

alle

ls

betw

een

you

can

alm

ost c

ontro

l how

you

pre

sent

this

bit

of y

our l

ife st

ory

in it

s dig

ital f

orm

at

the

fact

that

you

can

cha

nge

from

how

you

orig

inal

ly w

ante

d to

pre

sent

it to

how

you

end

up

pres

entin

g it

and

the

tech

nolo

gy g

ives

you

a lo

t of c

ontro

l as w

ell (

.) I w

onde

r whe

ther

that

giv

es

you

a se

nse

that

you

can

con

trol h

ow y

our h

isto

ry a

ffect

s you

or w

hat y

ou d

o in

the

futu

re ra

ther

th

an it

con

trolli

ng y

ou

269

Mar

tin

Wel

l thi

s is i

t onc

e yo

u le

arn

that

that

's it

27

0 In

t M

m

27

1 M

artin

A

nd fo

r me

that

was

it w

as a

mat

ter o

f lea

rnin

g th

at y

eah

I can

con

trol a

lot o

f thi

ngs i

n lif

e bu

t it

tend

s to

be n

ot th

e em

otio

nal t

hing

s Le

arnt

that

he

coul

d co

ntro

l a lo

t of t

hing

s in

life,

but

not

his

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

App

endi

x 7

57

emot

ions

27

2 In

t N

o no

273

Mar

tin

I ten

d no

t to

be a

ble

to c

ontro

l the

m so

eas

ily b

ut th

at e

ven

thou

gh th

e st

orie

s qui

te e

mot

iona

l I

still

had

con

trol o

f it

Lear

nt th

at h

e co

uld

cont

rol h

is e

mot

ions

in

the

stor

y

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

274

Int

Mm

275

Mar

tin

I'd sa

y th

e m

agic

bit

was

whe

n I s

aid

to P

ip th

is is

wha

t I w

ant (

.) th

e gh

osts

is w

hat I

wan

ted

but

even

that

was

mor

e fo

r me

than

any

one

else

Pa

rts o

f the

stor

y w

ere

just

for h

im

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 27

6 In

t Y

eah

yeah

277

Mar

tin

It w

as m

ore

for m

e (.)

not

reas

surin

g as

such

but

yea

h (.)

that

sort

of th

ing

that

any

tim

e I l

ook

at

that

now

(.) t

hat's

all

I'm g

oing

to se

e th

e th

ing

for m

e is

not

the

stor

y co

s I k

now

the

stor

y it'

s the

gh

osts

278

Int

Rig

ht o

k (la

ught

er)

27

9 M

artin

(la

ught

er) I

t's th

e gh

osts

app

earin

g

280

Int

Rig

ht so

you

've

got t

he im

ages

ver

y po

wer

ful i

mag

es in

ther

e

281

Mar

tin

But

you

see

even

that

was

for m

e re

ally

the

ghos

ts d

isap

pear

ing

mea

ns m

ore

to m

e th

an a

nybo

dy

that

doe

sn't

know

me

The

ghos

ts h

ave

pers

onal

mea

ning

for

him

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

282

Int

Mm

mm

283

Mar

tin

It m

eans

a lo

t to

me

thos

e gh

osts

dis

appe

arin

g Th

e gh

osts

di

sapp

earin

g m

ean

a lo

t to

him

Ver

y pe

rson

al

stor

y Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

28

4 In

t R

ight

yea

h ye

ah

28

5 M

artin

A

nd it

's ju

st a

ll pa

rt of

it a

nd (.

) the

seco

nd st

ory

and

this

is so

met

hing

I've

to th

ank

Pip

for

actu

ally

ver

y m

uch

(.) e

rm th

ere

is q

uite

a lo

ng sc

ene

whe

re I'

m ta

lkin

g ab

out t

he st

uden

ts

286

Int

Mm

mm

287

Mar

tin

Ther

e w

as so

met

hing

ther

e ve

ry b

land

we

coul

dn't

find

anyt

hing

from

Hal

lam

that

's w

hy it

look

s a

bit w

eird

you

can

't se

e it'

s Hal

lam

288

Int

Yea

h

289

Mar

tin

But

you

kno

w it

's so

mew

here

that

stud

ents

go

to (.

) but

then

Pip

and

Ton

y w

ith th

eir l

ittle

mag

ic

(.) b

roug

ht so

met

hing

out

from

the

first

stor

y an

d if

you

look

at i

t you

'll se

e pe

ople

from

the

first

st

ory

ther

e as

like

(.) e

rr su

ppor

t for

me

Mag

ical

nat

ure

of

stor

ies

Stor

ies a

s sup

porti

ve

tool

s

Mys

tery

Em

pow

erin

g st

orie

s

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

290

Int

Rig

ht

29

1 M

artin

I d

on't

know

how

Pip

thou

ght o

f it (

.) bu

t for

me

I tho

ught

yea

h br

illia

nt th

is is

som

ethi

ng th

at I

coul

d ha

ve d

one

dead

eas

y co

uld

you

still

hav

e th

e im

age

of th

e ha

ll bu

t it's

alm

ost a

s if t

hey

are

ther

e to

supp

ort m

e yo

u kn

ow w

hat I

mea

n

Supp

ort f

rom

rest

of

grou

p ha

s end

ured

Su

ppor

tive

grou

p Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

292

Int

Yea

h ok

293

Mar

tin

Whe

reas

bef

ore

it w

as li

ke e

vil g

host

s and

spoo

ks th

is is

mor

e a

feel

ing

of th

ere's

supp

ort t

here

fo

r you

Su

ppor

t fro

m re

st o

f gr

oup

has e

ndur

ed

Still

feel

s the

su

ppor

t fro

m th

e Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

App

endi

x 7

58

grou

p 29

4 In

t R

ight

ok

29

5 M

artin

A

nd it

's re

ally

wei

rd h

ow th

at c

ame

acro

ss a

nd I

was

n't e

xpec

ting

that

and

that

's al

l dow

n to

Pip

re

ally

D

idn’

t exp

ect i

t to

be

this

pos

itive

Su

rpris

ed b

y im

pact

Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

296

Int

Mm

mm

297

Mar

tin

So it

just

show

s tha

t in

a lo

t of w

ays h

ow m

uch

she

thou

ght a

bout

wha

t I w

as tr

ying

to g

et a

cros

s Fa

cilit

ator

s hel

ped

him

to

exp

ress

him

self

Empo

wer

ing

faci

litat

ion

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

298

Int

Yea

h ye

ah

29

9 M

artin

W

hich

ans

wer

s ano

ther

par

t of o

ne o

f you

r que

stio

ns b

efor

e w

as w

ho is

doi

ng it

who

's ac

tual

ly

doin

g it

(.) I

thin

k if

had

anyb

ody

doin

g it

like

som

e IT

fella

that

just

doe

s tha

t bit

I don

't th

ink

it w

ould

wor

k if

the

pers

on d

idn'

t hav

e a

feel

ing

for o

r ins

tinct

abo

ut w

hat y

ou w

ere

tryin

g to

get

ac

ross

and

I th

ink

that

's w

hat c

ount

s

Faci

litat

ors h

elpe

d hi

m

to e

xpre

ss h

imse

lf Fa

cilit

atio

n ve

ry

impo

rtant

Empo

wer

ing

faci

litat

ion

Fa

cilit

atio

n ve

ry

impo

rtant

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

300

Int

Yea

h

301

Mar

tin

Hav

ing

som

ebod

y th

at h

as a

bit

of k

now

ledg

e of

wha

t you

're g

oing

thro

ugh

Empa

thy

from

fa

cilit

ator

s was

im

porta

nt

Supp

ortiv

e fa

cilit

atio

n Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s

302

Int

Yes

yea

h

303

Mar

tin

And

wha

t you

wan

t to

portr

ay re

ally

cos

whe

n yo

u ge

t it r

ight

and

whe

n yo

u se

e it

(.) it

's ve

ry

pow

erfu

l for

you

rsel

f Fi

nish

ed st

orie

s had

a

pow

erfu

l im

pact

on

him

Em

pow

erin

g st

orie

s Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 30

4 In

t Y

ou m

ean

for y

ou a

s err

mak

ing

it

305

Mar

tin

Yes

bec

ause

you

get

acr

oss e

xact

ly w

hat y

ou w

ant a

nd I

supp

ose

that

's an

art

in it

self

erm

(.)

whe

n th

ey ju

st se

e a

scrip

t whe

n yo

u w

rite

abou

t it b

ut w

hen

you

talk

abo

ut it

that

it c

omes

ac

ross

and

err

you

've

got t

o ha

ve th

at in

stin

ct o

r int

uitio

n to

kno

w w

hat I

'm sa

ying

(.) y

ou k

now

lik

e w

hen

I'm sa

ying

I w

ant t

hese

gho

sts t

o ap

pear

and

dis

appe

ar so

rt of

thin

g th

at c

ould

be

done

ve

ry IT

sort

of so

meb

ody

just

sayi

ng d

o th

is d

o th

at

306

Int

Yea

h

307

Mar

tin

But

whe

n yo

u're

ther

e an

d so

rt of

Pip

was

ther

e an

d sh

e he

lped

me

to g

et th

e rig

ht s

ort o

f gho

st

not b

ig n

asty

gho

sts j

ust i

mpi

sh ty

pe th

ings

whi

ch re

flect

how

they

aff

ect m

e yo

u kn

ow I

coul

d be

in th

e m

iddl

e of

the

Co-

op a

nd th

ese

ghos

ts w

ould

com

e an

d th

at's

wha

t I w

ante

d fo

r the

m to

ap

pear

and

just

dis

appe

ar u

ntil

it ge

ts to

the

end

and

they

just

dis

appe

ar a

nd th

ey d

on't

com

e ba

ck

and

that

's it

they

just

shrin

k an

d go

dow

n to

not

hing

Faci

litat

ion

very

im

porta

nt

Fini

shed

stor

ies h

ad a

po

wer

ful i

mpa

ct o

n hi

m

Faci

litat

ion

very

im

porta

nt

Empo

wer

ing

stor

ies

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

308

Int

Mm

mm

309

Mar

tin

But

that

's w

here

they

com

e fr

om

31

0 In

t So

rry

31

1 M

artin

Y

ou'v

e go

t a lo

t of p

ower

and

con

trol e

ven

pow

er c

omes

into

it

Hel

ped

him

to fe

el in

co

ntro

l and

mor

e po

wer

ful

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l and

po

wer

ful

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

312

Int

Rig

ht

31

3 M

artin

A

ll so

rts o

f litt

le b

its c

ome

into

the

digi

tal s

tory

(.) f

or m

e th

e m

ost p

ower

ful i

mag

e I s

uppo

se is

th

e ch

ains

C

ompl

ex p

roce

ss

Pow

erfu

l im

ager

y Em

pow

erin

g st

orie

s Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s 31

4 In

t Y

eah

App

endi

x 7

59

315

Mar

tin

The

brea

king

of a

nd a

ll it

is is

a p

ictu

re o

f cha

ins b

ut I

know

wha

t it m

eans

to m

e Po

wer

ful i

mag

ery

Empo

wer

ing

stor

ies

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

316

Int

Ver

y sy

mbo

lic

31

7 M

artin

Y

eah

you

see

it w

as th

at v

ery

sym

bolic

and

all

but t

o m

e it'

s a b

it m

ore

than

that

mm

in so

me

way

s i c

an lo

ok a

t it a

nd th

ink

ha h

a I k

now

wha

t it m

eans

real

ly y

ou d

on't

(laug

hter

) Po

wer

ful i

mag

ery

H

elpe

d hi

m to

feel

m

ore

pow

erfu

l

Empo

wer

ing

stor

ies

Empo

wer

ing

proc

ess

318

Int

(laug

hter

)

319

Mar

tin

You

don

't I k

now

wha

t it m

eans

to m

e re

ally

you

don

't yo

u ha

ve so

me

idea

(.) l

ike

the

artis

t pu

tting

a li

ttle

trick

in th

e co

rner

and

i th

ink

yeah

that

's m

e an

d th

at's

wha

t I g

ot o

ut o

f it

Hel

ped

him

to fe

el in

co

ntro

l and

mor

e po

wer

ful

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l and

po

wer

ful

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

320

Int

Rig

ht g

ood

32

1 M

artin

A

pow

er is

sue

cont

rol i

ssue

H

elpe

d hi

m to

feel

in

cont

rol a

nd m

ore

pow

erfu

l

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l and

po

wer

ful

Feel

s mor

e in

co

ntro

l now

322

Int

Pow

er a

nd c

ontro

l do

you

wan

t to

end

it th

ere

or h

ave

you

got a

ny la

st

32

3 M

artin

N

o I t

hink

that

's ab

out i

t but

I'd

certa

inly

reco

mm

end

it (.)

to a

nybo

dy d

one

in th

e rig

ht si

tuat

ion

Wou

ld re

com

men

d it

Wou

ld

reco

mm

end

it Fe

els m

ore

in

cont

rol n

ow

324

Int

Mm

m I'

ll en

d it

ther

e

Rut

h tr

ansc

ript

ana

lysi

s

Sect

ion

Firs

t ord

er c

odin

g Se

cond

ord

er

codi

ng

Inte

rvie

w th

emes

1 In

t So

per

haps

a g

ood

plac

e to

star

t is h

ow d

id y

ou fi

nd th

e pr

oces

s ove

rall

but t

hen

agai

n yo

u’ve

don

e it

twic

e

2 R

uth

In a

wor

d

3 In

t N

o yo

u ca

n us

e

4 R

uth

Ver

y ve

ry h

elpf

ul v

ery

heal

ing

Hea

ling

Hea

ling

Val

uabl

e Po

sitiv

e im

pact

5 In

t R

ight

6 R

uth

Erm

(1) d

o yo

u w

ant m

e to

exp

and

7

Int

Erm

yes

8 R

uth

Wel

l err

(1) t

here

wer

e lik

e di

ffer

ent b

its o

f it t

he c

reat

ive

proc

ess I

love

d an

d I h

adn’

t rea

lised

(.)

how

muc

h I w

as g

oing

to lo

ve th

at (1

) I th

ink

cos i

t was

on

com

pute

rs a

nd I

thou

ght I

’d b

e a

bit

terr

ified

Love

d cr

eativ

e pr

oces

s C

reat

ivity

En

gage

men

t Se

lf ex

pres

sion

9 In

t R

ight

ok

10

R

uth

But

bec

ause

ther

e’s s

omeo

ne a

roun

d w

ho ju

st k

now

s how

to p

ress

that

but

ton

and

mak

e it

all c

ome

back

11

Int

Yes

oh

right

App

endi

x 7

60

12

Rut

h I f

elt v

ery

rela

xed

and

real

ly fo

und

that

I kn

ew e

xact

ly w

hat I

wan

ted

to d

o in

that

cre

ativ

e pr

oces

s Fe

lt re

laxe

d K

new

wha

t she

wan

ted

to d

o C

reat

ive

proc

ess

Cre

ativ

ity

Age

ncy

Self

expr

essi

on

Age

ncy

13

Int

Rig

ht

14

R

uth

I fou

nd a

sort

of p

ower

and

I er

r (1)

wou

ld h

ave

liked

to h

ave

mad

e it

even

bet

ter b

ut th

ere

was

n’t

the

time

Foun

d a

sort

of p

ower

Po

wer

A

genc

y

15

Int

The

stor

y?

16

R

uth

The

who

le th

ing

you

know

I m

ight

hav

e tw

eake

d pi

ctur

es a

gain

zoo

med

er I

wou

ld h

ave

liked

to

have

had

(1) m

ore

I wou

ld li

ked

to b

e m

ore

skill

ed so

that

acc

ess t

o do

ing

all t

hose

thin

gs w

ith th

e ph

otos

it w

as e

r I fo

und

it a

very

exc

iting

exp

erie

nce

real

ly lo

ved

that

tapp

ed in

to a

n en

ergy

that

I ha

dn’t

tapp

ed in

to fo

r age

s

Foun

d it

very

exc

iting

Ta

pped

into

an

ener

gy

she

hadn

’t ta

pped

into

fo

r age

s

Pow

er

Mys

tery

A

genc

y Po

sitiv

e Im

pact

17

Int

Rig

ht o

k be

caus

e yo

u ta

lk a

bout

(.) i

ts so

long

sinc

e I s

aw y

our f

irst s

tory

but

you

talk

abo

ut (1

) so

met

hing

with

thre

ads

18

Rut

h W

eavi

ng

19

In

t Y

eah

wea

ving

20

Rut

h So

it’s

abo

ut

21

In

t A

nd th

at se

emed

like

a b

it of

life

line

to y

ou

22

R

uth

Wel

l it w

as

23

In

t Y

our c

reat

ive

ener

gies

into

that

rath

er th

an m

usic

I th

ink

24

R

uth

That

’s ri

ght I

did

it w

as li

ke (1

) it w

as li

felin

e (1

) bec

ause

I th

ink

I’d

kind

of d

etac

hed

mys

elf f

rom

re

ality

real

ly I’

d be

com

e so

imm

erse

d in

the

dram

a of

eve

ryth

ing

goin

g on

aro

und

me

that

I ki

nd

of lo

st m

y id

entit

y (.)

it’d

bec

ome

my

stor

y ra

ther

than

me

bein

g an

indi

vidu

al a

nd h

avin

g

Wea

ving

(cre

ativ

e pr

oces

s) a

s a li

felin

e Lo

st h

erse

lf in

the

dram

a of

car

ing

/ los

t id

entit

y

Iden

tity

Ref

ram

ing

past

25

Int

Rig

ht y

ou’d

bee

n co

nsum

ed b

y yo

ur ro

le o

f car

ing

for y

our t

wo

sons

26

Rut

h I h

ad b

een

cons

umed

I ha

d ye

ah a

nd I

supp

ose

that

hav

ing

the

oppo

rtuni

ty to

hav

e a

voic

e ab

out

that

hav

e it

out t

here

was

erm

(1) w

ell i

t hel

ped

me

mov

e on

bec

ause

I co

uld

let g

o of

it a

nd

beca

use

I had

this

exp

erie

nce

of g

ettin

g in

touc

h w

ith m

y cr

eativ

ity it

rem

inde

d m

e of

me

you

know

Lost

her

self

in c

arin

g ro

le

Hav

ing

a vo

ice

help

ed

her t

o m

ove

on –

to le

t go

of c

arin

g ro

le /

iden

tity

Get

ting

in to

uch

with

cr

eativ

ity /

rem

inde

d he

r of h

er o

ld se

lf

Cha

nge

Iden

tity

Cre

ativ

ity

Ref

ram

ing

past

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

A

genc

y Po

sitiv

e im

pact

27

Int

Rig

ht o

k

28

Rut

h It

was

it w

as p

ower

ful l

ike

that

and

that

was

the

heal

ing

for m

e I r

emem

ber P

ip sa

id so

met

hing

ab

out w

e ha

ven’

t got

a m

onop

oly

on su

ffer

ing

and

that

stuc

k w

ith m

e be

caus

e yo

u kn

ow y

ou h

ear

ever

yone

els

e’s s

torie

s and

real

ise

that

eve

rybo

dy’s

got

a st

ory

(1) i

t’s n

ot a

bout

you

r sto

ry it

’s

abou

t how

you

dea

l with

thin

gs w

ith li

fe a

nd th

e ex

perie

nce

show

ed m

e th

at I

was

mis

sing

out

on

Pow

erfu

l H

ealin

g G

aine

d in

sigh

t /

pers

pect

ive

on o

wn

Pow

er

Hea

ling

Insi

ght

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Ref

ram

ing

past

App

endi

x 7

61

livin

g on

livi

ng re

ally

ex

perie

nce

rela

tive

to

othe

r peo

ple

/ nor

mal

ity

Sens

e of

age

ncy

in

situ

atio

n R

ealis

atio

n sh

e w

as

mis

sing

out

on

livin

g

Pow

er

Insi

ght

29

Int

Um

m

30

R

uth

Yea

h um

m (.

) kin

d of

just

wok

e m

e up

I w

ould

say

it w

as li

ke m

y fir

st w

akin

g up

and

sinc

e th

em I

do fe

el li

ke I’

m li

ving

diff

eren

tly

Firs

t exp

erie

nce

of

‘wak

ing

up’

Now

feel

s lik

e sh

e is

liv

ing

diff

eren

tly

Insi

ght

Cha

nge

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

31

Int

Rig

ht o

k (.)

so o

bvio

usly

you

did

you

r firs

t sto

ry a

bout

a y

ear a

nd h

alf a

go n

ow

32

R

uth

Or t

wo

I don

’t kn

ow n

ow

33

In

t A

whi

le a

go a

nd th

en th

e se

cond

stor

y so

34

Rut

h It

was

goo

d G

ood

expe

rienc

e

Posi

tive

impa

ct

35

In

t So

how

com

e yo

u ca

me

to d

o th

e fir

st st

ory

36

R

uth

Erm

(.) b

ecau

se I

was

invo

lved

in th

e Sh

effie

ld H

alla

m U

ser a

nd C

arer

s pro

ject

and

we

wer

e in

vite

d al

ong

I did

n’t r

eally

kno

w w

hat I

was

doi

ng I

just

wen

t alo

ng fo

r a b

it of

adv

entu

re

No

spec

ific

expe

ctat

ions

of p

roce

ss

– ju

st w

ante

d a

bit o

f ad

vent

ure

37

Int

Rig

ht

38

R

uth

Ern

umm

39

Int

Did

you

hav

e lik

e an

intro

duct

ory

wor

ksho

p lik

e th

e on

e th

at I

orga

nise

d at

the

tow

n ha

ll

40

Rut

h N

o

41

Int

You

spok

e at

that

42

Rut

h W

e sa

w e

rr w

e sa

w (1

) the

re w

as a

car

ers a

nd u

sers

con

fere

nce

and

Julie

Col

eman

was

ther

e an

d sh

e sh

owed

her

stor

y an

d w

e di

d ha

ve th

at a

nd w

e w

ere

told

to h

ave

an id

ea o

f wha

t we

wan

ted

to

writ

e a

stor

y on

and

I re

ally

had

an

idea

that

I w

as ju

st g

oing

to te

ll th

e w

hole

wor

ld y

ou k

now

my

stor

y an

d th

e an

ger a

nd it

was

ther

e an

d w

hat I

as I

say

in th

e th

ing

the

seco

nd I

was

am

azed

wha

t st

ory

cam

e ou

t it w

asn’

t wha

t I e

xpec

ted

at a

ll bu

t it w

as b

ecau

se o

f tha

t bei

ng in

volv

ed w

ith

ever

yone

els

e an

d so

rt of

list

enin

g th

at w

e w

ere

give

n yo

u kn

ow n

o on

e ha

d an

age

nda

you

didn

’t fe

el li

ke y

ou h

ad to

(.) I

don

’t kn

ow h

ow it

hap

pene

d (.)

I do

n’t k

now

but

that

just

was

n’t t

he st

ory

that

was

goi

ng to

com

e ou

t

Had

a c

lear

idea

of h

er

first

stor

y pr

ior t

o w

orks

hop

Wan

ted

to te

ll th

e w

hole

wor

ld a

bout

her

an

ger

Act

ual s

tory

that

cam

e ou

t am

azed

her

– n

ot

expe

cted

Ef

fect

of b

eing

in

volv

ed w

ith e

very

one

else

and

list

enin

g to

th

eir s

tory

N

o on

e ha

d an

age

nda

(fre

edom

?)

Expr

essi

on

Insi

ght

Pow

er

Cre

ativ

ity

Mys

tery

Self

expr

essi

on

Age

ncy

Ref

ram

ing

past

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

A

genc

y

App

endi

x 7

62

Doe

sn’t

know

how

her

st

ory

cam

e ab

out.

43

Int

No

44

R

uth

It w

as a

lmos

t lik

e I h

ad n

o co

ntro

l It

was

alm

ost l

ike

she

had

no c

ontro

l of t

he

stor

y

Mys

tery

R

efra

min

g pa

st

45

Int

Rig

ht

46

R

uth

Som

e na

tura

l

47

Int

Som

e fo

rce

48

R

uth

Org

anic

forc

e ye

s N

atur

al fo

rce

wor

king

th

roug

h he

r Po

wer

A

genc

y

49

Int

Rig

ht o

k um

m y

eah

50

R

uth

Mm

m

51

In

t W

ell I

gue

ss I

can

see

how

that

hap

pens

in so

me

sens

e be

caus

e yo

u’ve

got

(1) n

ot th

inki

ng a

bout

yo

u in

par

ticul

ar b

ut a

lot o

f peo

ple

talk

abo

ut y

ou k

now

(1) T

im w

as ta

lkin

g ab

out l

ike

you

know

op

enin

g a

suitc

ase

you

know

with

all

the

past

trau

ma

abou

t his

acc

iden

t lik

e he

’d k

ind

of st

uffe

d ev

eryt

hing

all

and

lock

ed th

em a

way

and

ove

r the

cou

rse

of th

e w

orks

hop

he’d

ope

ned

it an

d go

ing

thro

ugh

and

pulli

ng th

ings

out

and

err

mak

ing

sens

e of

them

and

I th

ink

may

be th

ere’

s err

on

ce y

ou’v

e op

ened

that

suitc

ase

to u

se th

at a

nalo

gy th

en th

en y

ou k

now

that

can

be

pow

erfu

l and

yo

u of

ten

don’

t hav

e th

e po

wer

of w

hat w

hat’s

52

Rut

h O

f wha

t’s in

the

suitc

ase

53

In

t O

f wha

t com

es o

ut a

nd h

ow it

’s g

oing

to a

ffec

t you

54

Rut

h Y

eah

yes

55

In

t B

ut y

ours

soun

ds d

iffer

ent

56

R

uth

Um

m o

f cou

rse

beca

use

I’m

so sp

ecia

l (la

ught

er)

57

In

t (L

augh

ter)

58

Rut

h I t

hink

wha

t cam

e ou

t the

suitc

ase

was

erm

(1) t

he th

e ur

ge to

be

crea

tive

and

the

mis

sing

I m

ean

the

wea

ving

’s a

bout

that

so it

was

kin

d of

con

nect

ed th

at I

have

alw

ays b

een

very

ver

y cr

eativ

e an

d th

at h

ad b

een

I’d

been

isol

ated

from

it

Urg

e to

be

crea

tive

Cre

ativ

ity

Self

expr

essi

on

59

Int

Um

m u

mm

(1) s

o ha

ve y

ou th

en b

een

able

to m

ore

crea

tive

in y

our l

ife b

etw

een

the

two

stor

ies

and

subs

eque

ntly

60

Rut

h I

thin

k I’

ve e

rm n

ot in

a so

rt of

tang

ible

way

that

I’m

mak

ing

lots

of t

hing

s

61

Int

Rig

ht

62

R

uth

Not

in th

at w

ay b

ut I

feel

like

erm

I liv

e (1

) I li

ve in

the

mom

ent

Livi

ng in

the

mom

ent

Bei

ng c

reat

ive

Cre

ativ

ity

Self

expr

essi

on

63

Int

Ok

64

R

uth

Muc

h m

ore

and

that

feel

s cre

ativ

e B

eing

cre

ativ

e C

reat

ivity

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

65

In

t R

ight

so th

at’s

abo

ut (.

) is t

hat a

bout

you

’re

bein

g ab

le to

cre

ativ

ely

resp

ond

on m

omen

t to

mom

ent b

asis

C

reat

ivel

y re

spon

ding

in

the

mom

ent

66

Rut

h Y

es I

thin

k so

67

Int

Rat

her t

han

on th

e ba

sis o

f you

r his

tory

App

endi

x 7

63

68

Rut

h I t

hink

that

’s a

goo

d w

ay o

f put

ting

it (.)

I co

uldn

’t pu

t it a

ny b

ette

r yea

h

69

Int

Ok

70

R

uth

Life

whe

reas

I w

as g

oing

aro

und

and

not s

eein

g st

uff n

ow I

am I’

m e

xcite

d lik

e I w

as e

xcite

d ab

out b

eing

cre

ativ

e no

w I’

m m

ore

exci

ted

abou

t wel

l its

real

ity is

n’t

Exci

ted

abou

t life

C

reat

ivity

Ex

cite

d ab

out r

ealit

y /

livin

g

Insi

ght

Cre

ativ

ity

Cha

nge

Posi

tive

impa

ct

71

Int

Rig

ht o

k ab

out l

ife in

gen

eral

(1) s

o er

m (1

) and

I’m

won

derin

g w

heth

er so

me

of th

at’s

abo

ut y

ou

kind

a be

ing

able

to (1

) kin

d of

err

com

e to

term

s with

som

e th

ings

and

dea

l with

them

so th

at

they

’re

not c

ontro

lling

you

Com

ing

to te

rms w

ith

thin

gs

Reg

aini

ng c

ontro

l of

her l

ife

Cha

nge

Pow

er

Posi

tive

impa

ct

72

Rut

h Y

eah

yeah

73

Int

So th

at k

inda

free

s you

up

Feel

ing

free

C

reat

ivity

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

74

R

uth

Abs

olut

ely

75

In

t To

err

76

Rut

h Y

eah

77

In

t To

live

mor

e in

the

mom

ent

78

R

uth

Yea

h an

d er

r bec

ause

you

kno

w h

earin

g ot

her p

eopl

e’s s

torie

s you

real

ise

that

you

can

let a

stor

y co

ntro

l you

for t

he re

st o

f you

r life

or y

ou c

an (1

) get

som

e so

rt of

per

spec

tive

I sup

pose

I do

n’t

know

how

to p

ut it

into

wor

ds b

ut th

at it

’s n

ot a

ll co

nsum

ing

and

that

you

can

act

ually

live

as w

ell

Get

ting

pers

pect

ive

Hav

ing

mor

e co

ntro

l ov

er y

our l

ife

Insi

ght

Pow

er

Ref

ram

ing

past

A

genc

y

79

Int

Um

m u

mm

80

Rut

h B

ut I

supp

ose

that

I as

car

ers w

e ra

rely

eve

r get

the

chan

ce to

tell

our s

tory

ther

e’s h

undr

eds o

f op

portu

nity

to te

ll th

eir s

tory

and

it’s

a n

eces

sity

and

so a

nd p

erha

ps th

at’s

one

of t

he re

ason

s why

yo

u lo

se to

uch

with

you

rsel

f as w

ell

Rar

ely

get t

o te

ll yo

ur

stor

y as

a c

arer

Lo

se to

uch

with

yo

urse

lf

Iden

tity

Ref

ram

ing

past

81

Int

Rig

ht

82

R

uth

Bec

ause

you

bec

ome

this

(.) I

had

bec

ome

a vo

ice

for t

hese

peo

ple

who

cou

ldn’

t com

mun

icat

e Te

lling

som

ebod

y el

se’s

stor

y Id

entit

y R

efra

min

g pa

st

83

In

t Y

eah

yeah

84

Rut

h So

this

exp

erie

nce

was

abo

ut m

e an

d th

at w

as e

rr th

at w

as n

ew

Nov

elty

of f

ocus

sing

on

hers

elf

Iden

tity

Age

ncy

85

Int

Um

m u

mm

erm

(2) s

o ho

w d

id y

ou so

rt of

feel

dur

ing

the

proc

ess

86

R

uth

Um

m (2

) in

the

first

one

ther

e w

as a

sort

of fr

ustra

tion

at th

e st

art b

ecau

se I

coul

dn’t

quite

get

my

grov

e an

d I w

rote

a st

ory

but i

t jus

t did

n’t f

eel r

ight

and

then

I er

r (1)

and

I fe

lt a

bit d

etac

hed

from

it

and

inte

rest

ing

beca

use

I’d

writ

ten

in th

e er

m it

was

all

‘I’ (

.) yo

u kn

ow c

os th

ey sa

y do

it a

ll in

fir

st p

erso

n

Initi

al fe

elin

gs o

f fr

ustra

tion

and

deta

chm

ent

Cha

nge

87

Int

Rig

ht

88

R

uth

And

then

I ca

n re

mem

ber s

ittin

g th

ere

thin

king

ah

I wan

t to

tell

this

like

a fa

iry ta

le a

nd p

uttin

g it

in th

at te

nse

and

then

I cr

ied

Ligh

t bul

b m

omen

t C

ryin

g C

reat

ivity

Ex

pres

sion

In

sigh

t Em

otio

nal

Ref

ram

ing

past

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

89

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

App

endi

x 7

64

90

Rut

h A

s soo

n as

I I r

emem

ber j

ust s

obbi

ng w

hen

I rea

d it

thru

’ bec

ause

it w

as ju

st I

don’

t kno

w w

hy it

m

ade

a di

ffere

nce

but i

t did

C

ryin

g Em

otio

nal

Expr

essi

on

91

Int

Hm

m

92

R

uth

May

be it

spok

e to

the

child

in m

e

93

Int

May

be it

did

or m

ay it

erm

I gu

ess I

mea

n yo

u ki

nd o

f des

crib

ed tw

o th

ings

hap

peni

ng th

ere

one

was

cha

ngin

g fr

om fi

rst t

o th

ird p

erso

n an

d th

e ot

her o

ne is

usi

ng th

e fa

iry ta

le la

ngua

ge a

nd in

a

fairy

tale

thin

gs a

re e

xagg

erat

ed a

nd y

ou k

ind

of p

olar

ise

thin

gs a

nd so

the

diff

icul

t per

son

in y

our

life

beco

mes

the

wic

ked

witc

h or

the

evil

step

mot

her o

r gob

lin a

nd I

gues

s it k

ind

of g

ives

you

m

ore

free

exp

ress

ion

94

Rut

h M

aybe

95

Int

Alm

ost g

ives

you

a li

cenc

e to

exp

ress

som

ethi

ng w

hich

may

be y

ou d

on’t

get t

o ex

pres

s (.)

I’m

sp

ecul

atin

g

96

Rut

h It

defin

itely

(.) I

can

rem

embe

r sitt

ing

ther

e an

d To

ny c

omin

g ov

er I

was

all

I did

was

just

cha

nge

just

a fe

w li

ttle

bits

not

that

muc

h of

cha

nge

it w

as a

lmos

t lik

e I w

as lo

okin

g at

mys

elf

Diff

eren

t per

spec

tive

– lo

okin

g at

her

self

Insi

ght

Ref

ram

ing

past

97

Int

Wel

l yes

yea

h th

e th

ird p

erso

n

98

Rut

h G

ave

me

a bi

t of s

pace

I re

mem

ber t

hat a

nd I

just

rem

embe

r fly

ing

with

it a

nd b

eing

abs

olut

ely

com

plet

ely

abso

rbed

com

plet

ely

abso

rbed

and

so fr

ustra

ted

som

etim

es th

at I

coul

dn’t

get t

he h

elp

whe

n I n

eede

d th

e he

lp c

os I

wan

ted

to g

et th

is ju

st so

(.) a

bsol

utel

y fo

cuss

ed o

n it

(laug

hter

) tim

e ju

st (s

tood

) and

it’s

incr

edib

le b

ecau

se I

hadn

’t ha

d th

at e

xper

ienc

e fo

r so

long

that

I w

as th

at

abso

rbed

so e

njoy

able

so so

enj

oyab

le re

al li

fe th

at a

hh lo

vely

yea

h an

d th

en y

ou k

now

and

not

re

ally

all

awar

e of

any

one

else

aro

und

cos s

o fo

cuss

ed

Get

ting

a bi

t of s

pace

/ pe

rspe

ctiv

e C

ompl

ete

abso

rptio

n &

fo

cus

Enjo

ymen

t Lo

st in

cre

ativ

e pr

oces

s

Insi

ght

Cha

nge

Pow

er

Cre

ativ

ity

Self

expr

essi

on

Posi

tive

impa

ct

99

Int

Rig

ht (l

augh

ter)

100

Rut

h B

ut o

f cou

rse

at th

e en

d w

hen

you

see

ever

ybod

y’s s

tory

that

was

a e

rm th

at w

as v

ery

mov

ing

beca

use

you

real

ly h

ave

been

thru

’ the

jour

ney

with

them

from

beg

inni

ng to

the

end

that

was

err

I fe

lt en

orm

ousl

y pr

ivile

ged

to h

ear t

hese

peo

ple

to h

ear t

heir

stor

ies a

nd I

kind

of b

e pa

rt of

that

pr

oces

s tha

t the

y ha

d (1

) I’m

not

sure

that

I w

as te

rrib

ly su

ppor

tive

to p

eopl

e in

the

first

one

I w

as

mor

e so

in th

e se

cond

one

Bei

ng m

oved

by

othe

r pe

ople

’s st

orie

s Pr

ivile

ged

to h

ear o

ther

pe

ople

’s st

orie

s B

eing

supp

ortiv

e to

ot

hers

Emot

iona

l Su

ppor

t

Posi

tive

impa

ct

101

Int

Rig

ht o

k

102

Rut

h B

ut e

h ye

ah y

es I

thin

k I w

as e

rr c

augh

t int

o it

all

10

3 In

t U

mm

how

do

you

thin

k he

arin

g ot

her p

eopl

e’s s

torie

s affe

cted

you

r sto

ry?

Bec

ause

pre

sum

ably

at

the

begi

nnin

g yo

u si

t rou

nd in

a st

ory

circ

le a

nd y

ou w

on’t

have

the

stor

y fu

lly fo

rmed

but

you

’ll

talk

abo

ut y

our i

deas

for a

stor

y do

n’t y

ou

104

Rut

h I d

on’t

know

I ca

n’t t

hink

how

it a

ffect

ed m

y st

ory

I kno

w it

affe

cted

me

this

reve

latio

n of

ev

eryo

ne h

avin

g st

orie

s erm

ah

no (1

) how

I w

rote

the

stor

y? H

ow d

id it

aff

ect t

he w

ay I

wro

te th

e st

ory?

Ever

yone

has

stor

ies

Insi

ght

Ref

ram

ing

past

105

Int

Wel

l I ju

st th

inki

ng th

at y

ou c

ame

with

a st

ory

that

you

wan

ted

to w

rite

and

ther

e w

as a

lot o

f an

ger i

n it

106

Rut

h Y

eah

10

7 In

t A

nd so

mew

here

in th

e pr

oces

s the

stor

y yo

u w

ere

goin

g to

writ

e ch

ange

d an

d I’

m ju

st w

onde

ring

whe

ther

you

can

kin

d of

pin

poin

t

App

endi

x 7

65

108

Rut

h I d

on’t

know

wha

t tha

t was

abo

ut m

aybe

I fe

lt th

at (2

)

109

Int

I won

der w

heth

er th

ere’

s som

ethi

ng a

bout

just

pic

king

up

on w

hat y

ou’v

e sa

id a

bout

how

dur

ing

the

proc

ess y

ou fe

el y

ou c

an li

ve m

ore

in th

e m

omen

t now

and

won

derin

g w

heth

er so

met

hing

ha

ppen

ed b

ecau

se o

bvio

usly

the

stor

y is

his

toric

al a

nd a

ny st

ory

is a

nd w

heth

er th

ere

is so

met

hing

ab

out n

ot w

antin

g to

dw

ell i

n th

e pa

st a

nd b

eing

in th

e pr

esen

t tha

t you

wan

ted

to re

flect

in y

our

stor

y I m

ean

I don

’t kn

ow in

all

thes

e th

ings

not

you

rs sp

ecifi

cally

but

a lo

t is a

bout

it c

erta

inly

ca

me

thro

ugh

how

muc

h po

wer

our

pas

t has

on

our p

rese

nt so

for e

xam

ple

Ian

uses

the

term

br

eaki

ng th

e ch

ains

talk

s abo

ut e

mpo

wer

men

t but

he

likes

the

term

bre

akin

g th

e ch

ains

and

yes

his

hi

stor

y is

still

the

sam

e ab

out h

avin

g be

en a

buse

d as

a c

hild

but

it n

o lo

nger

has

the

pow

er to

co

ntro

l him

110

Rut

h Th

at’s

righ

t yea

h

111

Int

And

I th

ink

ther

e’s k

ind

of e

lem

ent o

f tha

t in

ever

ybod

y’s s

tory

112

Rut

h I w

ould

say

that

with

min

e I m

ean

I use

the

wor

d he

alin

g w

hich

is th

e sa

me

I don

’t br

eak

my

chai

ns y

eah

it do

es w

hen

you

can

nam

e it

whe

n yo

u ca

n ge

t it o

ut th

ere

and

it’s r

eally

list

ened

to

Hea

ling

Nam

ing

it G

ettin

g it

out t

here

B

eing

list

ened

to

Hea

ling

Expr

essi

on

Supp

ort

Ref

ram

ing

past

113

Int

Yea

h

114

Rut

h Its

cat

har c

atha

rtic

wha

teve

r tha

t wor

d is

C

atha

rtic

Expr

essi

on

Cha

nge

115

Int

It is

cat

harti

c th

at’s

the

wor

d (la

ught

er)

11

6 R

uth

Yes

it is

um

m

11

7 In

t A

nd sh

arin

g yo

ur st

ory

as w

ell

11

8 R

uth

Like

if y

ou’v

e go

t mon

ster

s and

you

nam

e th

em a

nd th

ey ju

st b

ecom

e sm

alle

r the

y ju

st g

et in

to

pers

pect

ive

don’

t the

y th

at’s

how

it fe

lt fo

r me

Nam

ing

a m

onst

er

Taki

ng it

s pow

er a

way

H

avin

g a

pers

pect

ive

Expr

essi

on

Emot

ion

Pow

er

Insi

ght

Ref

ram

ing

past

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

A

genc

y 11

9 In

t So

it’s

abo

ut k

ind

of a

lmos

t nam

ing

your

dem

ons o

r mon

ster

s or s

omet

hing

120

Rut

h Y

eah

(2) v

ery

soot

hing

V

ery

soot

hing

H

ealin

g Po

sitiv

e im

pact

121

Int

Um

m h

ad y

ou tr

ied

othe

r app

roac

hes t

o ta

me

your

dem

ons

12

2 R

uth

I’d

had

a lo

t of t

hera

py lo

ads a

nd lo

ads o

f the

rapy

H

ad lo

ts o

f the

rapy

be

fore

123

Int

Rig

ht

12

4 R

uth

Ther

apy

quee

n so

yea

h ye

ah

12

5 In

t R

ight

126

Rut

h A

nd I

thin

k an

d its

ver

y he

lpfu

l but

this

was

it w

as d

efin

itely

abo

ut se

lf ex

pres

sion

for m

e th

at’s

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

im

porta

nt

Expr

essi

on

Self

expr

essi

on

12

7 In

t O

k rig

ht y

eah

12

8 R

uth

Just

so b

ecau

se it

cam

e fr

om m

e an

d I g

ot in

touc

h w

ith m

e in

a w

ay th

at I

hadn

’t er

m b

eing

abl

e to

writ

e an

d ye

ah it

real

ly it

cam

e fr

om m

y so

ul m

y he

art I

mea

nt I’

ve h

ad g

esta

lt th

erap

y w

here

yo

u do

(.) d

o lo

ts o

f cre

ativ

e (.)

can

do

lots

of c

reat

ive

thin

gs b

ut n

ot in

as a

con

cent

rate

d po

wer

ful

Get

ting

in to

uch

with

he

r sou

l, he

art,

self

Con

cent

rate

d po

wer

ful

Insi

ght

Expr

essi

on

Emot

ion

Ref

ram

ing

past

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

Se

lf ex

pres

sion

App

endi

x 7

66

way

Id

entit

y Po

wer

A

genc

y

129

Int

No

I mea

n I s

uppo

se in

term

s of t

he p

ract

ical

ities

you

r the

rapy

mig

ht b

e an

hou

r or s

o

130

Rut

h Ex

actly

131

Int

Whe

reas

this

is y

ou k

now

it is

thre

e 8

hour

s day

s or w

hate

ver i

t is

Inte

nse

3 da

y pr

oces

s En

gage

men

t

132

Rut

h Y

eah

and

then

you

go

hom

e th

inki

ng a

bout

it a

s wel

l ooh

I’ll

do th

is (l

augh

ter)

I’m

a fr

ustra

ted

film

mak

er

133

Int

Rig

ht o

k (la

ught

er)

13

4 R

uth

May

be a

nd th

en a

fterw

ards

I w

as re

ally

exh

aust

ed fo

r a lo

ng lo

ng w

hile

wee

ks y

eah

it to

ok it

s tol

l on

me

the

first

on

mor

e th

an th

e se

cond

one

the

seco

nd o

ne w

as li

ke fo

r me

(3) i

t was

like

fin

ishi

ng it

off

like

com

plet

ing

it lik

e it

didn

’t ha

ve th

e sa

me

inte

nse

hold

on

me

as th

e fir

st o

ne b

ut

Exha

ustin

g pr

oces

s Fi

rst o

ne m

ore

pow

erfu

l th

an se

cond

one

Pow

er

Emot

ion

Self

expr

essi

on

Age

ncy

135

Int

Dur

ing

the

proc

ess y

ou m

ean

13

6 R

uth

I thi

nk I

was

fairl

y in

tens

e bu

t I w

as m

ore

awar

e of

eve

ryon

e el

se I

can

rem

embe

r tha

t I h

ad ti

me

to si

t by

peop

le a

nd th

ings

Se

cond

one

less

in

tens

e, m

ore

awar

e of

ot

hers

137

Int

Rig

ht

13

8 R

uth

It w

as m

aybe

cos

it’s

you

r sec

ond

one

and

you’

ve g

one

thro

ugh

that

firs

t bit

of th

e pr

oces

s it f

elt

very

satis

fyin

g it’

s lik

e yo

u’ve

gon

e th

ree

quar

ters

way

roun

d th

e ci

rcle

and

you

got

that

littl

e bi

t ne

eded

to b

e do

ne

Seco

nd o

ne fe

lt lik

e co

mpl

etin

g a

circ

le

Expr

essi

on

Self

expr

essi

on

139

Int

Rig

ht

14

0 R

uth

And

uhh

ahh

gla

d th

at’s

don

e (.)

goo

d fe

elin

g Fe

elin

g sa

tisfie

d at

the

end

Cha

nge

Age

ncy

141

Int

So y

ou’r

e sa

ying

you

don

’t fe

el a

ny d

esire

to m

ake

anot

her o

ne?

14

2 R

uth

Ooh

ahh

hun

dred

s yea

h ye

ah

Wan

ts to

mak

e hu

ndre

ds m

ore

Val

uabl

e Po

sitiv

e im

pact

143

Int

Ok

right

144

Rut

h I’

d lik

e to

get

the

softw

are

real

ly a

nd u

mm

145

Int

Ok

ok

14

6 R

uth

But

erm

(2) I

don

’t kn

ow w

heth

er th

ey’d

eve

r be

as in

tens

e as

that

firs

t one

Su

bseq

uent

stor

ies

likel

y to

be

less

inte

nse

Cha

nge

Age

ncy

147

Int

Wel

l life

’s k

ind

of li

ke th

at is

n’t i

t and

how

’s it

kin

da a

ffec

ted

your

life

in g

ener

al sa

y fo

r exa

mpl

e w

ith y

ou k

now

the

rest

of t

he fa

mily

you

r kid

s?

148

Rut

h Th

e ki

ds (3

)

149

Int

Bec

ause

pre

sum

able

you

’re

still

car

ing

for y

our a

utis

tic k

ids

15

0 R

uth

Yea

h ah

h

151

Int

I gue

ss th

ey’r

e ol

der

15

2 R

uth

Wel

l I d

on’t

I thi

nk it

’s m

y m

y at

titud

e to

life

that

’s d

iffer

ent i

n th

at w

ay a

nd p

roba

bly

bette

r to

be

arou

nd e

rm (1

) I d

on’t

feel

the

enor

mity

of r

espo

nsib

ility

that

I di

d A

ttitu

de to

life

has

ch

ange

d D

oesn

’t fe

el e

norm

ity

of re

spon

sibi

lity

that

sh

e di

d be

fore

Cha

nge

Insi

ght

Age

ncy

Ref

ram

ing

past

App

endi

x 7

67

153

Int

Rig

ht

15

4 R

uth

I don

’t fe

el a

s alo

ne w

ith it

yea

h er

m I

feel

(1) y

eah

(1) y

ou k

now

it’s

just

life

is to

ugh

and

that

’s

how

it is

life

can

be

crap

(.) d

eal w

ith it

sort

of th

ing

and

I was

n’t l

ike

that

at a

ll I w

as v

ery

muc

h aa

hh p

oor m

e th

is d

read

ful s

ituat

ion

oohh

you

kno

w it

mad

e m

e fe

el sp

ecia

l I th

ink

Doe

sn’t

feel

as a

lone

w

ith it

H

ealth

ier p

ersp

ectiv

e on

life

in g

ener

al –

life

is

toug

h –

deal

with

it

rath

er th

an p

oor m

e

Supp

ort

Insi

ght

Ref

ram

ing

past

A

genc

y

155

Int

Rig

ht ri

ght

15

6 R

uth

Yea

h bu

t I fe

el li

bera

ted

from

that

I fe

el li

bera

ted

from

the

dram

a of

it

Felt

liber

ated

from

dr

ama

Cha

nge

Ref

ram

ing

past

157

Int

Rig

ht o

k

158

Rut

h Er

m e

rm y

eah

and

I’m

bet

ter a

t loo

king

afte

r mys

elf I

’m b

ette

r at b

eing

mor

e in

touc

h w

ith w

hat I

ne

ed w

hat I

real

ly n

eed

to d

o fo

r me

Bet

ter a

t loo

king

afte

r he

rsel

f M

ore

in to

uch

with

w

hat s

he n

eeds

Cha

nge

Insi

ght

Posi

tive

impa

ct

159

Int

Um

m u

mm

160

Rut

h Th

at m

ight

just

be

slee

ping

lots

erm

hav

e m

ore

sens

e of

that

than

I di

d

161

Int

Rig

ht o

k so

may

be p

art o

f you

hea

ring

your

ow

n st

ory

in th

e th

ree

day

sess

ion

may

be h

elpe

d yo

u to

list

en to

you

r ow

n st

ory

on m

ore

regu

lar b

asis

M

ore

able

to li

sten

to

own

stor

y on

day

to d

ay

basi

s

Insi

ght

Age

ncy

162

Rut

h Y

eah

16

3 In

t R

athe

r tha

n as

a c

arer

whe

n yo

u w

ere

sayi

ng y

ou w

ere

cons

tant

ly te

lling

oth

er p

eopl

e’s s

torie

s for

th

em

Stro

nger

iden

tific

atio

n w

ith se

lf as

a p

erso

n in

ow

n rig

ht ra

ther

than

as

a ca

rer

Iden

tity

164

Rut

h Y

eah

so th

at’s

err

wha

t cam

e in

to m

y he

ad th

en th

ere

is m

ore

of I’

m m

ore

obje

ctiv

e ab

out

ever

ythi

ng I

don’

t kno

w w

heth

er o

bjec

tive

is th

e rig

ht w

ord

whe

reas

I fe

lt al

l con

sum

ed I

have

m

ore

ther

e’s I

’m m

ore

sepa

rate

bec

ause

I’ve

got

mor

e of

an

iden

tity

or fe

el th

at I’

ve m

ore

of a

n id

entit

y ye

ah I

can

sort

of (.

) not

just

reac

t to

it al

l (.)

all t

he ti

me

Abl

e to

be

mor

e ob

ject

ive

Feel

ing

less

con

sum

ed

by li

fe

Stro

nger

sens

e of

id

entit

y N

ot ju

st re

actin

g

Cha

nge

Iden

tity

Age

ncy

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

165

Int

Yea

h yo

u ca

n st

ep b

ack

16

6 R

uth

Yea

h

167

Int

And

be

mor

e co

nsid

ered

mak

e a

mor

e co

nsid

ered

resp

onse

(.) s

o ha

s it c

hang

ed y

our v

iew

s abo

ut

the

futu

re a

t all?

A

ble

to m

ake

a m

ore

cons

ider

ed re

spon

se

Age

ncy

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

168

Rut

h U

mm

err

I do

n’t t

hink

muc

h ab

out t

he fu

ture

169

Int

Bus

y liv

ing

in th

e pr

esen

t Fo

cus o

n pr

esen

t rat

her

than

wor

ryin

g ab

out t

he

futu

re

Insi

ght

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

170

Rut

h W

ell t

ry to

real

ly d

o

App

endi

x 7

68

171

Int

Um

m

17

2 R

uth

Ther

e’s n

o po

int b

ecau

se I

have

no

idea

whe

re th

ese

kids

‘ll t

ake

us th

ere

is ju

st n

o po

int d

wel

ling

on it

and

we

do d

o a

day

at a

tim

e A

ble

to se

e un

help

ful

habi

ts li

ke w

orry

ing

abou

t the

futu

re

Insi

ght

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

173

Int

Rig

ht

17

4 R

uth

Ver

y m

uch

umm

um

m b

ut I

used

to w

orry

abo

ut th

e fu

ture

all

the

time

and

Use

d to

wor

ry a

bout

the

futu

re

Cha

nge

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

175

Int

Ok

so

17

6 R

uth

And

I us

ed to

con

trol i

t you

try

and

sort

thin

gs o

ut li

ke th

is a

nd n

ow I

don’

t I d

on’t

do th

at

No

long

er tr

ies t

o co

ntro

l the

futu

re

Cha

nge

Age

ncy

Posi

tive

impa

ct

177

Int

Rig

ht d

o yo

u th

ink

may

be y

ou’v

e ki

nd o

f jus

t got

mor

e er

r I’m

tryi

ng to

thin

k of

the

wor

d (2

) w

ords

con

fiden

ce a

nd k

ind

of fa

ith o

r tru

st (

inau

dibl

e)

178

Rut

h U

mm

um

m

17

9 In

t Le

ss w

orry

ing

and

need

ing

to p

lan

kind

of a

lmos

t whe

re y

ou tr

ust o

r are

con

fiden

t tha

t thi

ngs w

ill

be o

k

180

Rut

h B

e al

right

yea

h I t

hink

trus

t yea

h (1

) yes

I’m

a lo

t mor

e (2

) at e

ase

yeah

M

ore

at e

ase

Can

trus

t tha

t the

futu

re

will

be

ok

Cha

nge

Insi

ght

Posi

tive

impa

ct

181

Int

Um

m (2

) is t

here

any

thin

g el

se th

at y

ou c

an th

ink

of fr

om e

ither

the

proc

ess o

r how

you

’ve

been

su

bseq

uent

ly?

182

Rut

h I d

on’t

wan

t to

show

them

any

I do

n’t w

ant t

o st

and

up a

nd h

ave

peop

le lo

ok a

t the

m w

ith m

e th

ere

anym

ore

Doe

sn’t

wan

t to

show

st

orie

s to

stud

ents

an

ymor

e

Cha

nge

183

Int

Rig

ht y

ou’v

e do

ne th

at

18

4 R

uth

And

I do

n’t w

ant t

o do

that

any

mor

e

185

Int

Ok

ok

18

6 R

uth

And

it fe

lt I f

elt q

uite

unc

omfo

rtabl

e Fe

lt un

com

forta

ble

show

ing

her s

tory

to

stud

ents

Emot

iona

l

187

Int

Rig

ht

18

8 R

uth

Like

I w

as

18

9 In

t So

wer

e yo

u do

ing

that

with

stud

ents

her

e

190

Rut

h Y

eah

yeah

alm

ost l

ike

I was

und

ress

ing

Felt

expo

sed

Vul

nera

ble

19

1 In

t R

ight

192

Rut

h Er

m h

appy

for o

ther

peo

ple

to se

e it

but I

don

’t w

ant t

o be

aro

und

Hap

py fo

r oth

er p

eopl

e to

see

her s

tory

but

do

esn’

t wan

t to

be

pres

ent

Cha

nge

193

Int

But

not

with

you

ther

e

194

Rut

h It’

s ver

y so

rt of

pre

ciou

s and

per

sona

l St

ory

is p

reci

ous a

nd

pers

onal

V

alua

ble

App

endi

x 7

69

195

Int

It is

it is

196

Rut

h U

mm

erm

oh

wha

t did

you

say?

197

Int

Wel

l I w

as ju

st w

onde

ring

whe

ther

ther

e w

as a

nyth

ing

else

real

ly (3

) I m

ean

one

of th

e th

ings

w

hich

com

es o

ut o

r may

com

e ou

t with

peo

ple

is th

e fa

ct th

at b

ecau

se y

ou’v

e ki

nd o

f sha

red

your

st

ory

once

or m

ay h

ave

open

ed u

p to

oth

er p

eopl

e in

this

situ

atio

n it

then

may

mak

e it

easi

er fo

r yo

u to

shar

e yo

ur st

ory

or sh

are

your

thou

ghts

in fu

ture

bec

ause

you

’ve

been

abl

e to

do

it in

a in

an

envi

ronm

ent i

f you

like

whe

re p

eopl

e ha

ve li

sten

ed to

you

198

Rut

h U

mm

199

Int

They

hav

e gi

ven

the

time

so it

kin

d of

200

Rut

h U

mm

I th

ink

I do

the

othe

r way

don

’t I (

.) yo

u kn

ow in

that

erm

I do

n’t n

eed

to

Doe

sn’t

need

to sh

are

stor

y C

hang

e

201

Int

Ok

20

2 R

uth

I don

’t ne

ed to

do

that

any

mor

e in

the

sam

e yo

u kn

ow e

rm

20

3 In

t O

k

204

Rut

h I d

on’t

parti

cula

rly w

ant p

eopl

e to

be

(2) g

et lo

ads o

f det

ails

abo

ut it

and

erm

205

Int

I gue

ss th

ere’

s alm

ost k

ind

of tw

o th

ings

her

e th

ere’

s wel

l the

re’s

lots

of t

hing

s but

in so

me

sens

e th

ere

coul

d be

you

r sto

ry a

s a c

arer

206

Rut

h U

mm

207

Int

Then

ther

e’s a

lso

you

the

othe

r sid

e of

you

so in

som

e w

ays y

ou c

ould

be

sort

of sa

ying

wel

l I

don’

t fee

l tha

t wel

l thi

s is a

lmos

t wha

t I fe

el y

ou w

ere

sayi

ng c

orre

ct m

e if

I’m

wro

ng b

ut th

at y

ou

don’

t nee

d to

tell

ever

ybod

y th

at y

ou a

re a

car

er a

nd li

fe’s

a b

ig d

ram

a

Doe

sn’t

need

to re

tell

stor

y of

bei

ng a

car

er

and

life

bein

g a

dram

a an

ymor

e

Cha

nge

Iden

tity

208

Rut

h Y

eah

20

9 In

t B

ut e

qual

ly th

ere’

s oth

er b

its to

you

that

you

feel

hap

pier

to sh

are

beca

use

that

H

appy

to sh

are

othe

r bi

ts o

f her

life

, sel

f Su

ppor

t

210

Rut

h Y

eah

yeah

211

Int

Part

of y

ou h

as

21

2 R

uth

Com

e al

ive

yeah

it is

it’s

like

that

was

my

iden

tity

and

all a

nyon

e ta

lked

to m

e ab

out s

o no

w th

ere

is m

ore

for m

e to

(.) m

ore

stor

y ab

out m

e M

ore

sens

e of

self

an

pers

on in

depe

nden

t of

bein

g a

care

r

Iden

tity

Age

ncy

213

Int

Um

m u

mm

214

Rut

h Y

eah

that

’s tr

ue

21

5 In

t So

you

thin

k th

at is

(ina

udib

le) o

n a

day

to d

ay b

asis

216

Rut

h I t

hink

and

it’s

a p

roce

ss a

s wel

l it’s

gro

wth

as w

ell l

ike

I don

’t th

ink

that

you

do

thes

e st

orie

s and

ov

er n

ight

I th

ink

its e

rr it

’s b

een

like

a gr

adua

l G

radu

al p

roce

ss o

f ch

ange

C

hang

e Po

sitiv

e im

pact

217

Int

Yea

h

218

Rut

h A

wak

enin

g an

d th

ere’

s oth

er st

uff t

hat’s

goi

ng o

n in

my

life

that

’s c

ontri

bute

d to

it b

ut I

do b

elie

ve

that

it so

rt of

sort

of g

ave

little

star

t G

radu

al a

wak

enin

g St

ory

as a

cat

alys

t O

ther

fact

ors i

mpo

rtant

Insi

ght

Pow

er

Posi

tive

impa

ct

219

Int

Goo

d

220

Rut

h Lo

vely

to a

roun

d fa

cilit

ator

s tha

t are

ver

y (3

) in

tune

with

you

and

sort

of u

nhur

ried

and

patie

nt

Patie

nt re

spec

tful

Supp

ort

App

endi

x 7

70

and

very

resp

ectfu

l (.)

it w

as v

ery

help

ful t

o ha

ve th

at so

rt of

ene

rgy

arou

nd e

rm I

thin

k it

kind

of

allo

wed

me

to g

o fu

rther

than

I w

ould

hav

e do

ne y

eah

(3) s

eem

s a lo

ng w

hile

ago

thou

gh M

ark

I m

ust s

ay I

feel

like

I no

t in

touc

h w

ith it

faci

litat

ion

was

ver

y im

porta

nt a

llow

ed h

er

to g

o fu

rther

Val

uabl

e

221

Int

Ok

yeah

I gu

ess i

t is a

whi

le u

mm

(1) b

ut it

obv

ious

ly st

ill h

as a

n ef

fect

doe

sn’t

it m

ight

be

hard

er

to re

call

but I

supp

ose

may

be th

e fa

ct th

at y

ou’v

e do

ne tw

o st

orie

s is k

inda

may

be p

oten

tially

all

the

expe

rienc

es c

an b

lur i

nto

one

a bi

t

222

Rut

h Th

ey d

o se

em to

yea

h

223

Int

So I

thin

k

224

Rut

h Th

at’ll

do

22

5 In

t Th

at’s

cov

ered

eve

ryth

ing

that

I w

ante

d w

as th

ere

anyt

hing

els

e?

22

6 R

uth

Can

’t th

ink

of a

nyth

ing

Mar

k

227

Int

Ok

we’

ll en

d it

ther

e

228

Rut

h Pi

ng

T

ina

tran

scri

pt a

naly

sis

Sec

tion

Firs

t ord

er c

odin

g Se

cond

ord

er

codi

ng

Inte

rvie

w th

emes

1 In

t So

do

you

wan

t to

say

a bi

t abo

ut h

ow y

ou fo

und

the

proc

ess o

vera

ll? P

erha

ps ju

st fo

cuss

ing

on

the

thre

e da

y w

orks

hops

and

any

pre

para

tion

you

did.

2 Ti

na

Ok

wel

l (.)

it w

as (.

) err

the

grou

p w

ork

wor

king

in th

e gr

oup

was

qui

te a

n ex

traor

dina

ry

expe

rienc

e re

ally

and

the

way

peo

ple

open

ed u

p um

m so

it b

ecam

e a

supp

ort g

roup

I su

ppos

e Ex

traor

dina

ry

Peop

le v

ery

open

Su

ppor

t gro

up

Supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

3 In

t R

ight

yes

4 Ti

na

And

um

m (3

) ver

y em

otio

nal (

upse

t) V

ery

emot

iona

l V

ery

emot

iona

l D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

5 In

t M

m m

m

6

Tina

I m

ean

othe

r peo

ple’

s exp

erie

nces

real

ly c

ut m

e up

O

ther

peo

ple’

s sto

ries

wer

e ve

ry u

pset

ting

Pow

erfu

l up

setti

ng st

orie

s D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

7 In

t M

m m

m

8

Tina

A

nd u

mm

I fo

und

it ve

ry d

iffic

ult t

o ta

lk a

bout

my

expe

rienc

e (.)

at a

ll an

d um

m a

nd so

wha

t I a

nd

I had

mas

ses o

f pho

togr

aphs

(.) t

hat I

cou

ld u

se a

nd e

rr a

nd th

ey k

ept o

n er

r try

ing

to m

ake

me

talk

ab

out m

ysel

f whi

ch I

coul

d no

t do

Foun

d it

very

diff

icul

t to

talk

abo

ut h

er

expe

rienc

e

Diff

icul

ty ta

lkin

g ab

out s

elf

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g

9 In

t R

ight

10

Tina

So

I co

uld

talk

abo

ut B

en I

coul

d ta

lk a

bout

the

fam

ily I

coul

d ta

lk a

bout

oth

er p

eopl

e I c

ould

talk

ab

out p

sych

iatri

sts I

cou

ld ta

lk a

bout

the

syst

em

Cou

ld ta

lk a

bout

Ben

, fa

mily

, MH

serv

ices

etc

W

illin

g to

talk

ab

out o

ther

s, M

H

serv

ices

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

11

Int

Mm

m y

es

12

Ti

na

But

wha

t I c

ould

not

do

was

talk

abo

ut m

ysel

f C

ould

n’t t

alk

abou

t sel

f D

iffic

ulty

talk

ing

Diff

icul

ty

App

endi

x 7

71

abou

t sel

f re

flect

ing

13

Int

Rig

ht

14

Ti

na

And

err

um

so th

at is

som

ethi

ng I

find

very

diff

icul

t to

do a

nd I

thin

k th

e m

y er

r I tr

y to

exp

lain

th

at m

y at

titud

e ha

s bee

n br

ingi

ng u

p fo

ur k

ids o

n m

y ow

n m

y hu

sban

d bu

gger

ed o

ff w

hen

they

w

ere

smal

l Ben

was

onl

y se

ven

(.) y

ou ju

st h

ave

to lo

ok fo

rwar

d yo

u m

ove

on a

nd y

ou p

ack

all

the

shit

in y

our l

ife y

ou p

ack

it in

to a

suitc

ase

you

lock

it u

p an

d yo

u pu

t it o

ut o

f the

way

Had

alw

ays h

ad to

look

fo

rwar

d in

life

(not

ba

ck)

Put d

iffic

ult f

eelin

gs

away

Diff

icul

t for

her

to

look

bac

k D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

15

Int

Mm

mm

16

Tina

So

um

m I

thin

k m

akin

g m

e do

thin

gs th

at I

hadn

’t do

ne a

nd h

ad a

void

ed d

oing

was

ver

y ve

ry v

ery

hard

and

just

for a

min

ute

beca

use

it re

min

ded

me

and

I err

don

’t w

ant t

o go

to p

iece

s err

V

ery

hard

to lo

ok b

ack

Had

avo

ided

it fo

r so

long

V

ery

diff

icul

t

Diff

icul

t for

her

to

look

bac

k D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

17

Int

Yea

h it’

s ok

if yo

u do

18

Tina

So

that

is w

hat t

hat’s

abo

ut h

ence

my

avoi

danc

e of

all

that

um

m m

y m

ain

reas

on fo

r doi

ng th

is

was

to (1

) I th

ough

t the

idea

of t

he C

Ds w

hich

wou

ld b

e us

ed a

s tea

chin

g th

ings

was

a b

rillia

nt

idea

and

that

’s w

hat a

ttrac

ted

me

so so

rry

we’

ve m

oved

aw

ay fr

om y

our q

uest

ion

Wan

ted

peop

le to

lear

n fr

om h

er e

xper

ienc

e W

ante

d pe

ople

to

lear

n fr

om st

ory

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

19

Int

No

no th

at’s

ok

that

is a

ctua

lly th

e ne

xt q

uest

ion

your

reas

ons f

or ta

king

par

t

20

Tina

Th

ank

you

wel

l I th

ough

t the

um

m th

e th

ing

I fou

nd fo

r yea

rs w

as e

xcep

t for

psy

chia

trist

s (.)

erm

th

ere

was

n’t r

eally

any

body

and

can

I sa

y ex

cept

for M

cCas

kill

who

was

won

derf

ul it

was

ver

y di

fficu

lt to

com

mun

icat

e th

e pr

oble

m b

ecau

se y

ou k

now

with

psy

chot

ic e

piso

des y

ou g

et th

e I’

d ha

ve to

hav

e th

e po

lice

roun

d or

then

you

’d h

ave

the

soci

al w

orke

r and

doc

tor r

ound

and

Ben

co

uld

very

qui

ckly

be

smili

ng a

nd w

ell b

ehav

ed a

nd e

very

thin

g w

here

as te

n m

inut

es b

efor

e he

w

as a

n ab

solu

te ra

ging

luna

tic th

reat

enin

g to

kill

peo

ple

and

thin

gs a

nd n

o so

wha

t you

got

was

th

e id

ea th

at y

ou w

ere

bein

g a

very

fuss

y hy

per n

euro

tic p

erso

n er

m a

nd m

aybe

you

’re

the

one

who

shou

ld b

e ca

rted

of y

ou k

now

Had

n’t b

een

unde

rsto

od

in th

e pa

st

Und

erm

ined

N

ot v

alid

ated

Lack

of s

uppo

rt in

the

past

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

21

Int

Rig

ht

22

Ti

na

Erm

so th

ere

wer

e lo

ts o

f epi

sode

s lik

e th

at a

nd o

f cou

rse

whe

n I g

o to

thes

e w

hen

I use

d to

go

to

thes

e m

eetin

gs o

f cou

rse

that

’s n

ot a

n un

com

mon

exp

erie

nce

that

oth

er p

eopl

e ha

ve h

ad e

rm (1

) so

I thi

nk (.

) err

I su

ppos

e it

was

tryi

ng to

wid

en u

nder

stan

ding

of t

hat e

rm a

nd a

lso

also

you

can

ne

ver r

eally

talk

to fr

iend

s abo

ut it

bec

ause

like

me

they

don

’t ha

ve a

ny u

nder

stan

ding

or i

nsig

ht

unle

ss th

ey’v

e ha

d so

met

hing

like

that

in th

e fa

mily

and

so fo

r exa

mpl

e if

you

have

a re

lativ

e sa

y yo

ur h

usba

nd g

ets k

illed

in a

car

cra

sh e

very

body

rush

es ro

und

and

give

s you

supp

ort (

.) it’

s a b

it lik

e th

at if

they

just

bug

ger o

f the

y th

ink

oh w

ell h

ard

luck

sor

t of t

hing

and

it’s

the

sam

e w

ith

men

tal i

llnes

s with

you

r son

erm

you

can

’t re

ally

talk

abo

ut b

ecau

se o

f the

stig

ma

and

the

lack

of

unde

rsta

ndin

g an

d ev

eryt

hing

it’s

just

not

(.) p

ossi

ble

and

I thi

nk o

ne o

f the

mai

n th

ings

I w

ante

d to

try

and

get a

cros

s was

the

sens

e of

loss

and

the

grie

f

Her

exp

erie

nce

was

ty

pica

l of o

ther

car

ers

Wan

ted

othe

rs to

un

ders

tand

car

ers

expe

rienc

e H

ad n

ot re

ceiv

ed m

uch

supp

ort i

n pa

st

Wan

ted

to

com

mun

icat

e he

r sen

se

of lo

ss a

nd g

rief

Lack

of s

uppo

rt in

the

past

W

ante

d pe

ople

to

lear

n fr

om st

ory

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

23

Int

Mm

yes

24

Tina

If

som

ebod

y di

es y

ou su

ffer g

rief a

nd g

iven

long

eno

ugh

time

you

som

ehow

com

e to

term

s with

it

(.) b

ut y

ou k

now

with

a lo

vely

you

ng p

erso

n w

ho o

ne m

inut

e yo

u kn

ow th

e gr

ief n

ever

goe

s you

kn

ow b

ecau

se it

’s li

ke so

meo

ne d

ying

ove

r and

ove

r and

ove

r aga

in a

nd th

at’s

I th

ink

one

of th

e th

ings

I w

ante

d to

try

and

get a

cros

s erm

and

that

sort

of se

nse

of d

estru

ctio

n so

that

’s w

hy I

used

(.)

som

e ph

otog

raph

s of B

en w

hen

he lo

oked

real

ly w

ell

Not

com

e to

term

s with

ow

n gr

ief

Kee

ps b

eing

rein

forc

ed

Wan

ted

to

com

mun

icat

e se

nse

of

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t W

ante

d pe

ople

to

lear

n fr

om st

ory

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

App

endi

x 7

72

dest

ruct

ion

25

Int

Mm

26

Tina

H

e w

as o

bvio

usly

not

wel

l eve

n th

en to

be

quite

hon

est y

ou k

now

whe

re y

ou se

e hi

m sm

iling

with

a

girlf

riend

at t

he b

egin

ning

R

efle

ctin

g on

Ben

’s

loss

of s

elf,

illne

ss ?

? Ta

lkin

g ab

out

Ben

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

27

In

t O

k ye

s

28

Tina

C

os h

e’d

sort

of d

ropp

ed o

ut o

f thi

ngs b

ut y

ou c

an se

e he

is li

vely

inte

llige

nt a

nd se

nsiti

ve y

ou c

an

see

that

in h

is e

yes c

an’t

you

29

Int

Mm

yes

30

Tina

H

e w

as a

lway

s ver

y th

ough

tful a

nd se

nsiti

ve to

oth

er p

eopl

e an

d th

ere’

s som

ethi

ng a

bout

ps

ycho

tic e

piso

des w

hich

of c

ours

e (.)

shut

s tha

t off

erm

and

the

real

thin

g ab

out t

he p

sych

otic

ep

isod

es w

ith B

en a

nd I

know

it’s

diff

eren

t for

diff

eren

t peo

ple

is th

at h

e go

es in

to (.

) a n

ight

mar

e w

orld

whe

re h

e is

terr

ified

terr

ified

terr

ified

and

so e

rm (.

) som

e of

the

viol

ence

I re

alis

ed

even

tual

ly w

as o

f cou

rse

you

know

whe

n he

’s si

tting

bro

odin

g w

hate

ver a

nd y

ou g

o in

to th

e ro

om

(inau

dibl

e) h

e do

esn’

t see

you

he

sees

som

e m

onst

er a

nd so

ther

e’s a

lot o

f stra

tegi

es fo

r dea

ling

with

som

eone

whe

n th

ey’r

e no

t wel

l you

kno

w I

thin

k th

ere’

s lot

s of s

heet

s of i

nfor

mat

ion

abou

t it

now

Ref

lect

ing

on B

en’s

ill

ness

and

how

it h

as

affe

cted

him

Talk

ing

abou

t B

en

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

31

Int

Hm

m h

mm

32

Tina

A

nd w

hen

I was

doi

ng th

ose

cour

ses f

or st

uden

ts I

used

to so

rt of

put

all

this

info

rmat

ion

(laug

hter

) of y

ou k

now

nev

er tr

ying

to (.

) bul

ly o

r mak

e so

meb

ody

do so

met

hing

whe

n th

ey’r

e no

t w

ell s

it do

wn

and

give

them

supp

ort (

.) an

d th

en th

ey m

ight

tell

you

wha

t’s g

oing

on

so it

’s th

at

idea

of s

prea

ding

und

erst

andi

ng

33

Int

Rig

ht o

k

34

Tina

B

ut e

mpa

thy

I thi

nk a

s wel

l so

that

peo

ple

get (

.) ev

en w

hen

they

seem

to b

e be

havi

ng so

bad

ly

som

e so

rt of

insi

ght i

nto

the

horr

ors t

hat t

hey

are

goin

g th

roug

h pe

rhap

s W

antin

g pe

ople

to h

ave

insi

ght i

n m

enta

l illn

ess

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

35

In

t M

m m

m

36

Ti

na

I thi

nk is

wha

t I w

ante

d to

com

e ac

ross

W

ante

d st

orie

s to

conv

ey h

orro

r of

psyc

hosi

s

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

37

Int

Rig

ht o

k (.)

so it

was

abo

ut tr

ying

to (.

) sha

re y

our e

xper

ienc

e

38

Tina

Y

es y

es

39

In

t B

road

en u

nder

stan

ding

40

Tina

Y

es y

es

41

In

t Pe

rhap

s in

a w

ay th

at y

ou’d

not

exp

erie

nced

whe

n yo

u w

ere

goin

g th

roug

h it

over

the

last

20

year

s

42

Tina

Y

es th

at’s

righ

t (.)

and

I mea

n an

d I s

uppo

se a

lso

to to

pos

sibl

y w

hat w

e al

l wan

t to

do is

spre

ad a

m

uch

wid

er u

nder

stan

ding

in so

ciet

y at

larg

e co

s you

kno

w w

ith th

e cl

osin

g up

of a

ll th

e bi

g ho

spita

ls a

nd c

are

in th

e co

mm

unity

the

mai

n re

ason

is th

at p

eopl

e di

dn’t

have

any

und

erst

andi

ng

you

know

and

you

still

hea

r the

se h

orrib

le st

orie

s of p

eopl

e w

ho a

re n

ot w

ell a

nd th

ey g

o to

try

and

get h

elp

or th

ey’r

e se

nt o

ut in

to th

e co

mm

unity

too

soon

and

erm

(.) I

feel

ver

y sa

d ab

out t

hat

ther

e ar

e pe

ople

who

then

bec

ause

of t

hat t

hey

you

know

you

occ

asio

nally

hea

r som

eone

goe

s out

an

d th

ey (.

) kill

som

ebod

y so

that

fam

ily’s

lost

a p

erso

n co

s the

y’ve

bee

n m

urde

red

and

then

the

pers

on w

ho d

id it

is so

rt of

lock

ed u

p in

Ram

pton

or s

omew

here

for l

ife w

here

as if

they

had

bee

n

Wan

ting

peop

le to

hav

e in

sigh

t in

men

tal i

llnes

s R

efle

ctin

g th

at M

H

Serv

ices

hav

e fa

iled

man

y pe

ople

and

so

ciet

y at

larg

e

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y Ta

lk a

bout

MH

se

rvic

es

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

App

endi

x 7

73

kept

in h

ospi

tal f

or a

noth

er w

eek

or tw

o or

giv

en a

bit

mor

e su

ppor

t (.)

it m

ight

hav

e be

en a

void

ed

it m

ight

not

but

you

nev

er k

now

do

you?

Mm

m so

that

’s a

ll a

bit s

cary

I th

ink

mm

m I

don’

thin

k B

en w

as re

ally

(.) l

ike

that

but

I di

d m

eet a

lot o

f peo

ple

who

wer

e lik

e th

at a

nd e

rr th

ere

wer

e a

lot o

f inc

iden

ces o

f tak

ing

tryin

g to

get

him

bac

k in

to h

ospi

tal o

r frie

nds c

omin

g ro

und

here

cl

early

not

wel

l and

Ben

taki

ng th

em to

hos

pita

l and

they

wer

e ju

st b

eing

turn

ed a

way

43

In

t R

ight

44

Tina

N

ow I

gath

er th

at th

e la

test

thin

g is

that

cer

tain

ly w

ithin

this

are

a th

ey d

o ha

ve in

form

atio

n on

co

mpu

ters

in th

e ho

spita

l or t

hey’

ve g

ot so

me

sort

of li

st a

bout

peo

ple

with

men

tal i

llnes

s who

are

be

ing

look

ed a

fter i

n th

is a

rea

so if

Ben

or a

ny o

f his

con

tact

s had

turn

ed u

p in

the

loca

l hos

pita

l th

ey lo

ok u

p hi

s nam

e an

d se

e he

’s w

ith D

r so

and

so o

r he’

s on

this

med

icat

ion

or w

e’ll

cont

act

the

psyc

hiat

rist

Ref

lect

ing

on

impr

ovem

ent i

n se

rvic

es

45

Int

Rig

ht y

es

46

Ti

na

How

ever

it’s

not

on

the

mai

n co

mpu

ter t

hing

and

this

new

nat

iona

l hea

lth th

ing

whi

ch is

cos

ting

billi

ons n

one

of it

’s g

oing

to b

e on

that

so st

uden

ts li

ke B

en so

rry

patie

nts w

hate

ver y

ou w

ant t

o ca

ll th

em h

e w

ould

just

take

off

and

go

dow

n to

Lon

don

or so

met

hing

and

ther

e’d

be n

o in

form

atio

n th

ere

no su

ppor

t so

(.) w

hen

peop

le a

re li

ke th

at a

nd th

ey w

ant t

o ge

t off

thei

r sec

tion

and

they

just

bug

ger o

ff th

e sy

stem

(.) b

reak

s dow

n

Ref

lect

ing

prob

lem

s w

ith M

H se

rvic

es

Talk

abo

ut M

H

serv

ices

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

47

Int

Mm

mm

yes

48

Tina

So

wha

t can

you

do

(laug

hter

) erm

so th

ere’

s tha

t but

I do

thin

k th

e w

hole

supp

ort s

yste

m h

as

impr

oved

eno

rmou

sly

so I

am v

ery

glad

abo

ut th

at b

ut th

ere’

s stil

l an

awfu

l lot

mor

e to

be

done

an

d I t

hink

the

othe

r thi

ng I

wan

ted

to ra

ise

in th

at li

ttle

CD

was

that

in sp

ite o

f peo

ple

beha

ving

ba

dly

bein

g ve

ry il

l it d

oesn

’t m

ean

that

they

’re

unin

telli

gent

or t

heir

crue

l or t

hey’

re la

ckin

g in

se

nsiti

vity

or t

hey’

re la

ckin

g in

aw

aren

ess a

nd q

uite

ofte

n th

e m

edic

atio

n da

mpe

ns th

em d

own

so

they

’re

(.) st

ompi

ng a

roun

d lik

e zo

mbi

es

Ref

lect

ing

on

impr

ovem

ents

in

serv

ices

B

ut st

ill w

antin

g to

im

prov

e M

H se

rvic

es

and

broa

den

unde

rsta

ndin

g of

men

tal

illne

ss

Talk

abo

ut M

H

serv

ices

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

49

Int

Mm

mm

50

Tina

B

ut th

ey a

re e

ven

if th

ey c

an’t

talk

ver

y w

ell m

edic

atio

n so

met

imes

seem

s to

fur u

p th

e to

ngue

th

ey a

re a

war

e of

wha

t’s g

oing

on

a lo

t of t

he ti

me

(.) b

ecau

se th

ey d

on’t

(.) re

talia

te in

som

e w

ay

they

’re

treat

ed a

bit

like

back

war

d ch

ildre

n so

met

imes

51

Int

Mm

mm

52

Tina

Er

m a

nyw

ay in

Whi

tely

Woo

d yo

u ne

ver k

new

who

was

a n

urse

who

was

a p

atie

nt w

ho w

as o

n se

ctio

n co

s the

re w

as n

o w

ay o

f sto

ppin

g pe

ople

dis

appe

arin

g I m

ean

it w

as a

n ab

solu

te d

ead

loss

I m

ean

he’d

bee

n so

me

year

s ago

he

wen

t to

the

new

pla

ce a

t Net

her E

dge

wha

t was

it c

alle

d M

icha

el C

arlis

le c

entre

and

that

was

ver

y go

od I

thou

ght

Ref

lect

ing

prob

lem

s w

ith M

H se

rvic

es

Ref

lect

ing

on

impr

ovem

ents

in

serv

ices

Talk

abo

ut M

H

serv

ices

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

53

Int

Ok

ok y

eah

54

Ti

na

He

was

on

the

first

floo

r peo

ple

coul

dn’t

get i

n w

ithou

t (in

audi

ble)

he’

d go

ne o

ff so

mew

here

and

w

as te

rrib

ly il

l and

the

polic

e (.)

bro

ught

him

bac

k th

e po

lice

wer

e lo

vely

to h

im in

that

inst

ance

th

ey g

ave

him

food

cos

he

hadn

’t ha

d an

ythi

ng to

eat

cos

he’

d be

en o

n th

e ru

n fo

r day

s hid

ing

you

know

slee

ping

on

the

beac

h go

d kn

ows w

here

they

rolle

d ci

gare

ttes f

or h

im a

nd g

ave

him

App

endi

x 7

74

sand

wic

hes a

nd b

roug

ht h

im b

ack

and

he w

ent i

nto

Mic

hael

Car

lisle

and

they

gav

e hi

m a

littl

e ro

om a

nd h

e w

as in

that

stat

e of

trau

ma

and

they

wer

e so

goo

d to

him

ther

e 55

In

t M

m m

m

56

Ti

na

So th

at so

meb

ody

wou

ld g

o in

and

spen

d tim

e w

ith h

im a

nd tr

y an

d co

mfo

rt hi

m th

e tro

uble

is th

e Sh

effie

ld O

utre

ach

Team

then

had

a d

iffer

ent p

sych

iatri

st w

hose

nam

e I c

an’t

reca

ll w

ho w

as

usel

ess a

nd h

is id

ea w

as o

nce

Ben

was

bac

k he

dis

agre

ed w

ith p

eopl

e be

ing

in h

ospi

tal a

nd sa

id h

e sh

ould

com

e ho

me

alth

ough

the

doct

ors i

n th

e ho

spita

l dis

agre

ed w

ould

n’t l

iste

n w

ould

n’t l

iste

n to

m

e an

d he

was

just

beg

inni

ng to

go

and

sit i

n th

e ca

ntee

n an

d if

som

eone

wou

ld c

ome

up h

e’d

give

them

a c

igar

ette

but

he

was

still

at t

he st

age

of te

rror

of p

eopl

e he

wou

ldn’

t tal

k an

d th

is

bloo

dy p

sych

iatri

st se

nt h

im h

ome

erm

fortu

nate

ly o

ther

peo

ple

had

com

plai

ned

abou

t him

and

he

left

and

we’

ve n

ow g

ot C

hris

Wal

lbrid

ge w

hose

love

ly h

e’s a

real

ly g

ood

blok

e bu

t Ben

has

nev

er

actu

ally

reco

vere

d th

at e

rm h

e’s t

errif

ied

of m

ixin

g w

ith p

eopl

e be

caus

e of

the

para

noia

so h

e’ll

thin

k pe

ople

are

look

ing

at h

im h

owev

er in

the

last

cou

ple

of y

ears

that

’s e

ased

up

and

wha

t he

does

now

he

goes

off

to c

offe

e ba

rs h

e si

ts b

y hi

mse

lf

Ref

lect

ing

prob

lem

s w

ith M

H se

rvic

es

Not

bei

ng li

sten

ed to

in

past

R

efle

ctin

g on

im

prov

emen

ts in

se

rvic

es

Impr

ovem

ents

in B

en’s

M

H h

ealth

Talk

abo

ut M

H

serv

ices

La

ck o

f sup

port

in th

e pa

st

Talk

abo

ut B

en

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

57

Int

Oh

right

ok

58

Ti

na

Whi

ch is

such

a b

ig b

reak

thro

ugh

but I

mea

n he

’s n

early

50

so I

don’

t kno

w w

heth

er it

’s th

e m

edic

atio

n or

that

the

illne

ss is

loos

enin

g its

grip

som

e w

ritin

g su

gges

ts th

at a

s peo

ple

get o

lder

or

whe

ther

it’s

that

the

SOR

T te

am h

as b

een

so m

arve

llous

bec

ause

they

hav

e tu

rned

my

life

roun

d

Gra

titud

e to

SO

RT

team

Su

ppor

t fro

m

SOR

T W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

59

Int

Rig

ht g

ood

60

Ti

na

And

erm

my

big

wor

ry is

that

I kn

ow T

ed is

retir

ing

next

yea

r and

She

ila w

ho u

sed

to b

e w

ith B

en

in W

hite

ly W

oods

and

she’

s one

of t

he v

isito

rs w

ho ta

kes h

im o

ut it

took

him

yea

rs to

adj

ust t

o an

d op

en u

p to

the

peop

le o

n th

e SO

RT

team

so I’

m v

ery

frig

hten

ed a

bout

the

pros

pect

of t

hose

tw

o pe

ople

leav

ing

beca

use

som

eone

els

e co

min

g in

cou

ld e

asily

see

that

Ben

is n

ot g

oing

to k

ill

anyo

ne h

e’s n

ot li

kely

to g

o on

the

ram

page

whe

n he

’s il

l he

just

shut

s him

self

up a

nd I’

m

frig

hten

ed o

f him

bei

ng ta

ken

off t

heir

list y

ou k

now

Frig

hten

ed o

f Ben

be

ing

disc

harg

ed fr

om

SOR

T te

am

Fear

abo

ut th

e fu

ture

D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

61

Int

Mm

mm

62

Tina

B

ecau

se w

ithou

t the

ir vi

sits

he

wou

ld b

e le

adin

g th

e lif

e of

a m

onk

and

you

can

tell

whe

n so

met

imes

peo

ple

have

bee

n of

f sic

k an

d he

’s n

ot h

ad a

ll th

e vi

sits

he

star

ts h

avin

g w

eird

thou

ghts

an

d go

ing

a bi

t wei

rd b

ut b

ecau

se h

e do

esn’

t go

roun

d th

reat

enin

g pe

ople

peo

ple

thin

k he

’s a

lrigh

t

63

Int

Mm

mm

yea

h

64

Tina

So

that

’s a

ll th

at so

the

expe

rienc

e of

doi

ng a

ll th

at c

os a

s you

can

see

it’s v

ery

diff

icul

t to

focu

s on

me

beca

use

you

this

is w

hat P

ip a

nd T

ony

kept

on

wan

ting

me

to ta

lk a

bout

to fo

cus o

n m

e an

d I r

eally

can

’t se

e th

e po

int i

n ta

lkin

g ab

out m

e I m

ean

I’ve

got

won

derf

ul su

ppor

t fro

m th

at (.

) it

was

real

ly li

ke a

supp

ort t

eam

and

Pip

and

Ton

y I w

ould

like

to fe

el w

ill b

e m

y fr

iend

s for

life

af

ter t

hat b

ecau

se th

ey w

ere

mar

vello

us a

nd th

ey w

ere

so se

nsiti

ve a

nd su

ppor

tive

and

they

do

seem

to h

ave

som

e in

sigh

t int

o pe

ople

’s g

rief y

ou k

now

ver

y su

ppor

tive

and

gent

le a

bout

that

(.)

wha

t I h

ave

foun

d si

nce

doin

g it

I do

have

bou

ts o

f dep

ress

ion

beca

use

I fin

d it

hard

to k

eep

it al

l ou

t of m

y m

ind

you

know

som

etim

es it

just

goe

s rou

nd a

nd ro

und

and

roun

d

Ack

now

ledg

emen

t of

her d

iffic

ulty

focu

ssin

g on

her

self

Can

’t se

e th

e po

int i

n ta

lkin

g ab

out h

erse

lf V

alue

d su

ppor

t V

ery

supp

ortiv

e fa

cilit

atio

n H

as b

outs

of d

epre

ssio

n Su

ffer

s fro

m

rum

inat

ion

Diff

icul

ty ta

lkin

g ab

out h

erse

lf Su

ppor

tive

proc

ess

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

65

Int

Rig

ht

App

endi

x 7

75

66

Tina

A

ll th

e ba

d th

ings

that

hav

e go

ne w

rong

in m

y lif

e (.)

bef

ore

we

knew

Ben

was

ill y

ou k

now

to d

o w

ith h

is fa

ther

and

fam

ily (.

) cop

ing

(.) a

nd I

thin

k an

aw

ful l

ot o

f Ben

’s il

lnes

s was

to d

o w

ith a

ll th

ose

year

s of t

errib

le st

ress

erm

and

he

bein

g th

e ol

dest

boy

tryi

ng to

car

ry th

e ca

n an

d I d

o th

ink

(1) I

’ve

neve

r rea

lly d

iscu

ssed

it w

ith h

im e

xcep

t whe

n he

was

littl

e (.)

I th

ink

he tr

ied

to ta

ke o

n th

e bu

rden

as a

smal

l chi

ld o

f bei

ng th

e m

an in

the

fam

ily a

nd fe

elin

g a

lot o

f it w

as h

is fa

ult

Poss

ible

cau

ses o

f B

en’s

illn

ess

Talk

abo

ut B

en

W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

67

Int

Rig

ht o

k

68

Tina

A

nd th

at’s

not

unc

omm

on is

it a

nd so

one

of t

he re

ason

s it g

oes r

ound

and

roun

d an

d ro

und

is

havi

ng re

ache

d a

stag

e w

here

I ca

n’t u

npic

k th

e pa

st I’

ve g

ot to

mov

e fo

rwar

d w

hat t

his d

id w

as

mak

e yo

u go

bac

k in

to th

e pa

st

Has

unp

icke

d th

e pa

st

Wan

ts to

mov

e fo

rwar

d Pr

oces

s mad

e he

r go

back

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

69

Int

Sure

yea

h

70

Tina

A

nd e

rm a

s I sa

y th

ere

is st

ill a

ll th

at st

uff a

bout

you

kno

w s

uppo

sing

we

had

done

som

ethi

ng

diffe

rent

supp

osin

g I h

ad h

andl

ed it

diff

eren

tly a

nd e

rm a

nd g

iven

him

mor

e su

ppor

t if o

nly

I had

kn

own

abou

t wha

t men

tal i

llnes

s is y

ou k

now

Gui

lt, re

spon

sibi

lity

for

Ben

’s il

lnes

s Ta

lk a

bout

Ben

St

ill c

omin

g to

te

rms w

ith p

ast

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

71

Int

Yea

h

72

Tina

W

hich

I di

dn’t

and

I per

haps

trea

ted

him

as a

nau

ghty

bad

ly b

ehav

ed a

dole

scen

t som

etim

es w

hen

real

ly h

e ne

eded

supp

ort y

ou k

now

G

uilt,

resp

onsi

bilit

y fo

r B

en’s

illn

ess

Talk

abo

ut B

en

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

73

Int

Um

m y

es I

can

reca

ll a

psyc

hiat

rist a

t one

or o

ur c

arer

s eve

nts s

ayin

g ho

w d

iffic

ult i

t is t

o te

ll th

e di

ffere

nce

betw

een

diff

icul

t beh

avio

ur a

nd m

enta

l hea

lth p

robl

ems i

n ad

oles

cent

s

74

Tina

B

ut th

ere

is a

lso

the

othe

r (.)

new

rese

arch

is su

gges

ting

that

(.) a

ll th

ose

idea

s tha

t it’s

in th

e ge

nes

or it

’s a

diff

icul

t birt

h or

som

eone

is b

orn

with

a v

ulne

rabi

lity

ther

e is

als

o th

e id

ea th

at n

urtu

re

upbr

ingi

ng y

ou k

now

if y

ou h

ave

enou

gh st

ress

erm

I th

ink

I’m

bas

ical

ly a

ver

y op

timis

tic

outg

oing

det

erm

ined

per

son

but I

hav

e pa

tche

s in

my

life

whe

n I’

ve b

een

real

ly su

icid

al

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

75

Int

Rig

ht

76

Ti

na

Erm

in o

ther

wor

ds if

thin

gs h

ad n

ot g

one

so b

adly

wro

ng I

wou

ld n

ever

hav

e ha

d th

ose

patc

hes

but r

eally

wha

t I’m

sayi

ng w

ith B

en is

that

ok

he w

as q

uite

a h

yper

sens

itive

em

otio

nal c

hild

but

he

was

hav

ing

a di

fficu

lt ch

ildho

od

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

77

Int

Yea

h

78

Tina

Er

m a

nd p

art o

f me

thin

ks if

he’

d ha

d a

mor

e se

cure

fam

ily b

ackg

roun

d pe

rhap

s if I

had

mor

e un

ders

tand

ing

he m

ight

hav

e co

ped

bette

r bec

ause

he

did

cope

for a

long

tim

e er

m a

nd in

the

end

I m

ade

him

pul

l his

CV

toge

ther

and

go

for i

nter

view

s and

my

attit

ude

was

the

reas

on th

e yo

ur

depr

esse

d is

bec

ause

you

hav

en’t

got a

girl

frie

nd y

ou h

aven

’t go

t any

mon

ey y

ou h

aven

’t go

t a jo

b so

go

out a

nd g

et a

job

and

umm

er a

nd I

push

ed h

im o

ut a

nd so

he

got a

goo

d jo

b an

d he

wen

t off

to

Grim

sby

and

with

in si

x m

onth

s he

had

his f

irst b

ig p

sych

otic

epi

sode

now

he

had

been

doi

ng a

ll so

rts o

f vol

unta

ry w

ork

and

he w

ante

d to

stay

in S

heff

ield

bec

ause

he

thou

ght t

here

wou

ld b

e jo

b co

min

g up

my

attit

ude

was

get

a jo

b no

w a

nd y

ou’ll

hav

e a

bette

r cha

nce

of p

icki

ng u

p th

e lo

cal

job

but m

aybe

I sh

ould

hav

e lis

tene

d to

him

bec

ause

he

actu

ally

kne

w w

hat h

e co

uld

and

coul

dn’t

cope

with

Gui

lt, re

spon

sibi

lity

for

Ben

’s il

lnes

s Ta

lk a

bout

Ben

St

ill c

omin

g to

te

rms w

ith p

ast

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g

79

Int

Wel

l (.)

yes (

.) m

aybe

but

a lo

t of p

eopl

e de

velo

p ps

ycho

sis e

ven

if th

ey’v

e be

en b

roug

ht u

p in

a

App

endi

x 7

76

norm

al w

ell f

unct

ioni

ng fa

mily

80

Ti

na

Yes

yes

81

Int

Mm

I gu

ess w

hat’s

of i

nter

est i

n th

is c

onte

xt is

the

exte

nt to

whi

ch d

oing

the

digi

tal s

tory

look

ing

at th

e ph

otos

star

ting

to ta

lk a

bout

it w

ith o

ther

peo

ple

who

’ve

been

thro

ugh

sim

ilar e

xper

ienc

e

82

Tina

Y

es y

es

83

In

t W

heth

er th

at h

elpe

d yo

u to

com

e to

term

s with

it m

ore

84

Ti

na

I wis

h I’

d be

en a

ble

to d

o it

year

s ago

act

ually

bec

ause

then

it w

ould

hav

e be

en a

bsol

utel

y m

arve

llous

R

egre

ts n

ot d

oing

it

earli

er

Mar

vello

us p

roce

ss

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

85

Int

Yes

86

Tina

I t

hink

I’m

so b

utto

ned

up n

ow in

a w

ay b

ut w

hat’s

inte

rest

ing

I’ve

nev

er sh

own

it to

Ben

I do

n’t

thin

k I c

ould

I do

n’t t

hink

it w

ould

hel

p B

en to

see

it I t

hink

it c

ould

(.) n

o N

ot sh

own

to B

en

Find

s it d

iffic

ult

to b

e op

en

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g 87

In

t R

ight

88

Tina

B

ut I

have

show

n it

to h

is si

blin

gs a

nd e

rm (.

) his

you

nges

t bro

ther

who

real

ly u

sed

to lo

ok u

p to

hi

m a

nd w

as re

ally

shak

en w

hen

he b

ecam

e ill

and

phy

sica

lly a

nd e

mot

iona

lly th

ey w

ere

both

so

alik

e he

real

ly th

ough

t he

was

goi

ng to

dev

elop

it

Show

n it

to fa

mily

Sh

own

it to

fa

mily

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

89

Int

Mm

mm

90

Tina

H

e w

as sh

it sc

ared

he

was

goi

ng to

follo

w th

e sa

me

path

any

way

he’

s in

his e

arly

40s

now

and

he

’s a

lrigh

t but

whe

n I s

how

ed h

im th

e th

ing

ahh

91

Int

Mm

mm

wel

l it i

s a v

ery

mov

ing

stor

y

92

Tina

So

it w

as re

ally

(.) r

eally

pow

erfu

l for

him

(.) I

thin

k it

was

pow

erfu

l for

the

othe

rs a

s wel

l but

th

ey’r

e a

bit l

ike

me

they

’ve

sort

of le

arnt

to b

utto

n up

(lau

ghte

r)

Pow

erfu

l eff

ect o

n fa

mily

Sh

ared

with

fa

mily

Po

wer

ful e

ffec

t on

fam

ily

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

D

iffic

ulty

re

flect

ing

93

Int

Mm

mm

yea

h so

you

say

that

you

’ve

kind

of a

lmos

t rel

ived

the

expe

rienc

e an

d th

e fa

ct th

at y

ou

say

you

wis

h yo

u’d

done

it y

ears

ago

sugg

ests

that

it’s

ben

efic

ial

94

Tina

V

ery

bene

ficia

l yes

V

ery

bene

ficia

l pro

cess

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

95

Int

But

als

o hi

nts o

f the

fact

that

it’s

obv

ious

ly a

ver

y di

ffic

ult e

xper

ienc

e th

en b

ut I’

m w

onde

ring

whe

ther

ther

e’s a

sens

e of

you

’ve

alm

ost s

ort o

f and

can

’t se

em to

shut

it a

gain

96

Tina

I t

hink

ther

e is

that

ele

men

t yes

I th

ink

that

’s w

hat’s

so d

istu

rbin

g ab

out i

t rea

lly (.

) I d

o re

mem

ber

talk

ing

to T

ony

and

I mad

e a

joke

abo

ut th

e su

itcas

e an

d he

said

you

’ll fi

nd th

at o

ne o

f the

se d

ays

you’

re g

oing

to h

ave

open

that

suitc

ase

(laug

hter

) but

erm

I do

n’t k

now

to w

hat p

urpo

se w

e ju

st

joke

d an

d m

oved

on

but e

rm

Ope

ned

Pand

ora’

s box

D

iffic

ult f

or h

er

to lo

ok b

ack

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g

97

Int

It’s i

nter

estin

g ju

st g

oing

bac

k to

wha

t’s in

som

e of

the

liter

atur

e on

writ

ing

abou

t tra

umat

ic

expe

rienc

es e

rm th

at p

eopl

e w

ho’d

writ

ten

abou

t tra

umat

ic e

xper

ienc

es fo

und

it em

otio

nally

up

setti

ng im

med

iate

ly a

fter t

he w

ritin

g ex

erci

se b

ut th

eir h

ealth

ove

r the

long

er te

rm w

as

gene

rally

bet

ter t

han

the

cont

rol g

roup

who

’d w

ritte

n ab

out u

nem

otio

nal t

hing

s

98

Tina

Y

es it

’s in

tere

stin

g it’

s a b

it lik

e a

boili

ng k

ettle

just

letti

ng so

me

of th

e st

eam

out

Li

ke le

tting

off

stea

m

99

Int

Yes

yea

h th

e lit

erat

ure

also

sugg

ests

that

kee

ping

secr

ets c

ause

s psy

chol

ogic

al st

ress

whi

ch e

ffect

s th

e bo

dy in

subt

le w

ays w

hich

we

may

not

not

ice

and

so p

erha

ps o

peni

ng th

at su

itcas

e le

tting

out

App

endi

x 7

77

som

e of

the

stuf

f par

ticul

arly

in a

supp

ortiv

e en

viro

nmen

t has

bee

n sh

own

to b

e be

nefic

ial

100

Tina

W

ell o

ne o

f the

oth

er o

utco

mes

of t

his h

as b

een

that

Lyn

and

I ju

st se

e ea

ch o

ther

onc

e in

whi

le

Still

sees

Lyn

Su

ppor

t B

enef

ittin

g fr

om

supp

ort

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

101

Int

Oh

right

ok

10

2 Ti

na

And

we

don’

t nee

d to

refe

r to

this

we

just

giv

e ea

ch o

ther

a b

ig lo

ng h

ug

10

3 In

t R

ight

ok

10

4 Ti

na

And

we’

re b

oth

wom

en w

ho a

re li

ving

on

our o

wn

and

that

phy

sica

l thi

ng is

act

ually

(.) b

ecau

se

of c

ours

e w

hen

we

wer

e m

akin

g th

e fil

ms a

part

from

all

the

grie

f the

re w

as lo

ts o

f hug

ging

and

so

whi

ch is

pro

babl

y ve

ry th

erap

eutic

(lau

ghte

r)

Supp

ort f

rom

gro

up

was

ver

y th

erap

eutic

Su

ppor

tive

grou

p

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

105

Int

Yes

yea

h

106

Tina

Er

m y

es I’

m s

ure

that

doe

s us g

ood

ever

y tim

e w

e se

e ea

ch o

ther

we

have

a b

ig h

ug w

hich

pr

obab

ly m

akes

us f

eel a

bit

bette

r (la

ught

er)

Supp

ort f

rom

Lyn

B

enef

ittin

g fr

om

supp

ort

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

107

Int

But

I gu

ess o

ne o

f the

oth

er th

ings

that

you

talk

ed a

bout

at t

he b

egin

ning

was

wel

l you

feel

par

t of

supp

ort g

roup

(.) e

rm a

nd o

bvio

usly

you

’ve

done

this

with

7 o

ther

peo

ple

erm

with

diff

eren

t ex

perie

nces

108

Tina

W

e al

l met

up

at th

e R

iver

side

reun

ion

thin

g bu

t apa

rt fr

om th

at w

e’ve

not

act

ually

got

toge

ther

ag

ain

exce

pt L

yn a

nd I

have

109

Int

Um

m y

es

11

0 Ti

na

Alth

ough

we

did

inte

nd to

we

just

som

ehow

cou

ldn’

t get

our

selv

es o

rgan

ised

(lau

ghte

r)

Did

inte

nd to

mee

t up

with

rest

of g

roup

but

ne

ver h

appe

ned

111

Int

Laug

hter

112

Tina

W

ell a

re th

ere

som

e ot

her q

uest

ions

?

113

Int

I do

have

som

e ot

her p

oint

ers b

ut w

hat e

lse

did

you

note

dow

n?

11

4 Ti

na

I can

’t re

mem

ber (

2) n

o yo

u as

k m

e so

me

mor

e qu

estio

ns

11

5 In

t O

k (1

) so

how

has

it im

pact

ed o

n yo

ur li

fe in

gen

eral

? (1

) bef

ore

and

afte

r is t

here

any

thin

g di

ffere

nt a

bout

how

you

see

Ben

or h

ow y

ou se

e yo

urse

lf? O

r you

r abi

lity

to p

erha

ps sh

are

your

st

orie

s or y

our e

mot

ions

and

exp

erie

nces

with

oth

er p

eopl

e

116

Tina

W

ell I

show

ed th

e C

D to

Ted

who

se b

een

look

ing

afte

r us a

nd o

ften

we

just

hav

e a

little

cha

t on

the

phon

e bu

t Ted

cam

e ro

und

to se

e m

e an

d so

I sh

owed

him

that

and

I th

ink

he w

as (.

) qui

te (1

) di

dn’t

say

anyt

hing

ver

y m

uch

you

see

he’s

nev

er se

en B

en b

efor

e he

was

puf

fed

up a

nd b

loat

ed

you

know

and

to se

e th

e yo

ung

man

and

I th

ink

that

’s th

e ot

her t

hing

for p

eopl

e to

real

ise

wha

t B

en w

as li

ke b

efor

e th

e ill

ness

took

ove

r (.)

beca

use

the

drug

s do

chan

ge th

e ph

ysic

al sh

ape

of

peop

le e

norm

ousl

y do

n’t t

hey

Show

n st

ory

to T

ed in

SO

RT

team

H

elpe

d he

r to

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

117

Int

Yea

h th

ey d

o th

ey d

o

118

Tina

A

nd a

lso

of c

ours

e th

ey sh

ut d

own

parts

of t

he b

rain

in a

way

you

kno

w th

ey so

rt of

shut

off

a lo

t of

cre

ativ

ity a

nd so

on

(.) c

erta

inly

with

the

olde

r dru

gs w

ith th

eir s

ide

effe

cts (

.) B

en a

lway

s had

ho

rrib

le si

de e

ffect

s so

he’d

did

n’t g

et o

n (.)

I re

mem

ber s

ayin

g to

one

psy

chia

trist

I fe

el B

en is

Ref

lect

ing

on B

en’s

ill

ness

St

ill c

omin

g to

term

s

Talk

abo

ut B

en

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

Diff

icul

ty

App

endi

x 7

78

bein

g us

ed a

s a g

uine

a pi

g lo

ok e

very

dru

g in

the

book

has

bee

n us

ed o

n hi

m o

ver t

he y

ears

all

to

no e

ffec

t at a

ll su

rely

now

he

coul

d be

can

dida

te fo

r Clo

zapi

ne a

nd h

e lo

oked

thro

ugh

Ben

’s fi

le

and

he a

gree

d ca

use

in th

ose

days

it w

as q

uite

diff

icul

t to

get o

n it

beca

use

of th

e co

st o

r its

dan

ger

(1) n

ow B

en’s

bee

n on

it fo

r a fe

w y

ears

may

be 5

yea

rs a

nd se

ems t

o be

stab

le o

n it

with

Ben

’s il

lnes

s re

flect

ing

119

Int

So it

has

hel

ped

you

to sh

are

your

stor

y a

bit

12

0 Ti

na

Oh

yes a

nd I

thin

k (1

) tha

t was

one

of t

he fe

w ti

mes

I’ve

nev

er re

ally

bee

n ab

le to

shar

e it

so th

at

was

(.) v

ery

good

(.) I

thou

ght i

t was

goo

d fo

r Ted

to se

e th

at a

nd I

supp

ose

that

’s th

e ot

her t

hing

ab

out p

sych

iatri

sts h

avin

g so

me

insi

ght b

y ta

lkin

g to

fam

ily a

bout

wha

t a p

erso

n’s l

ike

befo

re th

ey

lose

touc

h w

ith re

ality

as w

e se

e it

beca

use

(1) i

t’s n

ot ju

st a

bout

trea

ting

the

illne

ss is

it (.

) it’s

ab

out t

reat

ing

the

pers

on th

eir p

erso

nalit

y w

ho th

ey a

re (1

) so

it’s t

hat l

iste

ning

thin

g ag

ain

isn’

t it

Has

hel

ped

her t

o sh

are

her s

tory

N

ot b

een

able

to sh

are

it be

fore

Hel

ped

her t

o sh

are

her s

tory

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

121

Int

Mm

mm

122

Tina

So

me

of th

e st

orie

s tha

t som

e pe

ople

told

in th

at g

roup

wer

e ve

ry d

istre

ssin

g (.)

talk

ing

abou

t di

fficu

lties

with

thei

r rel

atio

nshi

ps d

epre

ssio

n ot

her t

hing

s (.)

one

of th

e th

ings

that

I be

gun

to

real

ise

with

this

goi

ng ro

und

and

roun

d an

d ro

und

in m

y m

ind

and

som

e of

the

stuf

f I h

ave

writ

ten

rece

ntly

is th

at I

was

pro

babl

y su

fferin

g a

kind

of m

enta

l abu

se in

my

mar

riage

whi

ch y

ou k

now

I go

t mar

ried

very

you

ng w

hat w

e us

ed to

cal

l a sh

ot g

un w

eddi

ng m

m y

ou a

re to

tally

as a

wom

an

dise

mpo

wer

ed e

rm a

nd so

met

hing

I’d

not r

eally

take

n on

bef

ore

not e

ven

thou

ght a

bout

Oth

er st

orie

s dis

tress

ing

Look

ing

back

now

feel

s sh

e m

ay h

ave

suff

ered

fr

om m

enta

l abu

se in

m

arria

ge

Emot

iona

l Lo

okin

g ba

ck -

pain

ful

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g

123

Int

Rig

ht

12

4 Ti

na

Cos

the

idea

was

then

that

you

mad

e yo

ur b

ed a

nd n

ow y

ou c

an b

lood

y w

ell l

ie o

n it

you

know

an

d er

r (la

ught

er) s

o (1

) tha

t’s a

noth

er th

ing

that

has

onl

y ju

st c

ome

into

my

figur

ing

thin

gs o

ut

and

why

I be

have

d as

I di

d yo

u kn

ow a

ll th

at so

rt of

stuf

f

Still

wor

king

thin

gs o

ut

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

copi

ng st

rate

gy

Still

com

ing

to

term

s with

pas

t M

ore

able

to lo

ok

back

now

Diff

icul

ty

refle

ctin

g H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

125

Int

It so

unds

like

ther

e’s a

n aw

ful l

ot o

f stu

ff to

com

e ou

t

126

Tina

O

h ye

s I re

ally

thin

k I c

ould

do

with

doi

ng a

noth

er o

ne to

tack

le so

me

of th

is o

ther

stuf

f whi

ch is

m

uch

mor

e ab

out m

e bu

t whi

ch I

had

neve

r (1)

nev

er ta

ken

on a

nd e

rr (1

) pro

babl

y ha

d (1

) th

ough

t wel

l if y

ou m

ake

mis

take

s you

pay

for t

hem

whi

ch is

the

old

attit

ude

Wou

ld li

ke to

mak

e an

othe

r sto

ry

Focu

s mor

e on

self

as

othe

r stu

ff is

com

ing

out

Mor

e w

illin

g to

lo

ok b

ack

now

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

127

Int

Mm

m y

eah

wel

l I’m

sure

that

’s a

goo

d co

ping

stra

tegy

yea

h an

d I t

hink

for m

ost p

eopl

e th

at’s

ho

w th

ey c

ope

128

Tina

Y

es a

nd th

ere

is th

e qu

estio

n if

you

pull

it al

l out

(.) w

ill it

hel

p yo

u? O

r not

? Y

ou k

now

som

e of

th

e st

ones

you

’ve

pile

d up

to b

uild

a st

ruct

ure

to li

ve o

n w

ill it

pul

l the

m a

way

Q

uest

ioni

ng w

heth

er

look

bac

k is

hel

pful

M

ore

will

ing

to

look

bac

k no

w

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

12

9 In

t M

m w

ell t

hat’s

a fe

ar fo

r a lo

t of p

eopl

e an

d I t

hink

in a

lot o

f cas

es th

at’s

qui

te a

legi

timat

e fe

ar

beca

use

you

can

(.) m

ake

thin

gs w

orse

in th

e sh

ort t

erm

real

ly o

r if y

ou o

pen

up in

an

envi

ronm

ent

whe

re y

ou’r

e no

t sup

porte

d or

face

ridi

cule

or v

alue

judg

emen

t the

n th

at c

an b

e ev

en w

orse

for

you

130

Tina

Y

es a

nd I

thin

k if

you’

ve c

oped

on

your

ow

n be

caus

e yo

u’ve

cop

ed o

n yo

ur o

wn

beca

use

you

have

n’t g

ot a

ll th

ose

supp

ort t

hing

s the

n yo

u fin

d go

od w

ays o

f cop

ing

even

tual

ly a

nd so

with

out

that

littl

e su

ppor

t gro

up th

ere

is n

o su

ppor

t gro

up if

you

see

wha

t I m

ean

(laug

hter

)

Has

cop

ed w

ith li

ttle

supp

ort f

or y

ears

H

as c

oped

with

lit

tle su

ppor

t for

ye

ars

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

131

Int

Rig

ht y

es y

es w

ell I

thin

k fo

r a lo

t of p

eopl

e w

ho h

ave

carin

g re

spon

sibi

litie

s as w

ell a

s par

entin

g re

spon

sibi

litie

s as y

ou k

now

they

do

beco

me

very

isol

ated

App

endi

x 7

79

132

Tina

Th

at’s

righ

t yes

but

als

o if

your

left

on y

our o

wn

I mea

n m

y da

ught

er’s

just

com

ing

up to

51

(.) if

yo

u’re

left

on y

our o

wn

as a

sing

le m

othe

r with

sm

all c

hild

ren

and

you

have

no

mon

ey a

nd n

o su

ppor

t tha

t’s v

ery

isol

atin

g an

d th

en y

ou b

ring

men

tal i

llnes

s int

o it

you’

re v

ery

isol

ated

Car

ing

and

bein

g a

sing

le p

aren

t she

has

fe

lt ve

ry is

olat

ed

Has

cop

ed w

ith

little

supp

ort f

or

year

s

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

133

Int

Yes

mm

I’ve

just

one

last

thou

ght r

eally

(.) w

as e

rm ju

st re

ally

refle

ctin

g on

the

fact

that

you

wen

t in

to th

is re

ally

to c

reat

e re

sour

ce to

try

and

info

rm p

eopl

e in

men

tal h

ealth

serv

ices

or w

ider

abo

ut

the

expe

rienc

e of

suff

erin

g fr

om sc

hizo

phre

nia

or c

arin

g fo

r a c

hild

with

schi

zoph

reni

a ra

ther

be

caus

e yo

u th

ough

t tha

t you

’d fi

nd it

use

ful b

enef

icia

l or w

hate

ver a

nd I’

m w

onde

ring

if th

ere’

s an

ythi

ng in

that

that

mad

e it

diff

eren

t rat

her t

han

say

the

SOR

T te

am d

ecid

ing

to h

ave

a ca

rers

su

ppor

t gro

up w

hich

mee

ts o

nce

a m

onth

and

you

shar

e yo

ur st

orie

s thr

ough

that

134

Tina

Y

es (2

) erm

wel

l I d

id se

e it

as b

eing

som

ethi

ng v

ery

diff

eren

t fro

m th

at (.

) I d

id th

ink

if yo

u (.)

w

ere

give

n an

opp

ortu

nity

to te

ll yo

ur st

ory

(1) a

nd if

you

wer

e ab

le to

tell

som

e of

the

bits

that

yo

u th

ough

t wer

e im

porta

nt to

peo

ple

out t

here

they

wou

ld li

sten

erm

and

my

hope

was

that

it

wou

ld p

rovi

de a

use

ful i

nsig

ht in

to a

mor

e se

nsiti

ve h

andl

ing

of p

eopl

e w

ith m

enta

l illn

ess

Diff

eren

t to

supp

ort

grou

p W

ante

d ot

her p

eopl

e to

un

ders

tand

men

tal

illne

ss

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y W

antin

g to

ed

ucat

e ot

hers

135

Int

Mm

mm

136

Tina

Th

at’s

bas

ical

ly w

hat i

t was

and

I su

ppos

e it

was

(.) a

lso

a w

ay o

f som

ehow

vin

dica

ting

Ben

W

ante

d to

vin

dica

te

Ben

– sh

ow h

is p

ositi

ve

side

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y W

ante

d to

vi

ndic

ate

Ben

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

137

Int

Rig

ht e

rr o

k

138

Tina

I d

on’t

know

whe

ther

that

mak

es se

nse

err f

or e

xam

ple

it m

eant

a lo

t for

me

to sh

ow th

at to

Ted

w

hose

bee

n lo

okin

g af

ter B

en a

nd e

rr (1

) so

it’s t

wo

leve

ls a

s a tr

aini

ng th

ing

139

Int

Wel

l it’s

kin

d of

thre

e le

vels

if y

ou’v

e go

t Ben

you

rsel

f and

the

wid

er c

omm

unity

140

Tina

Y

es th

at’s

righ

t and

I er

m I

hear

d I t

hink

it w

as fr

om L

yn th

at m

y th

ing

had

been

show

n at

so

met

hing

for p

sych

iatri

sts a

nd th

ey w

ere

real

ly q

uite

mov

ed b

y it

so I

thou

ght t

hat’s

goo

d it

is

bein

g us

ed (.

) it w

as im

porta

nt to

me

to th

ink

it w

ould

be

usef

ul a

s a tr

aini

ng ty

pe o

f thi

ng

Plea

sed

that

it is

bei

ng

used

Po

sitiv

e im

pact

H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

141

Int

Yes

yes

wel

l the

y ar

e be

ing

used

I do

n’t k

now

how

muc

h bu

t the

y ce

rtain

ly a

re b

eing

use

d er

m (.

) ar

e th

ere

any

final

refle

ctio

ns I

mea

n w

e’ve

cov

ered

an

awfu

l lot

142

Tina

Er

m w

ell I

supp

ose

I jus

t do

feel

I w

as v

ery

luck

y to

be

able

to d

o it

(.) it

was

a w

onde

rful

op

portu

nity

so it

was

ver

y go

od to

mee

t peo

ple

like

Pip

and

Tony

Fe

els v

ery

luck

y to

ha

ve d

one

it G

ood

to m

eet P

ip &

To

ny

Ben

efic

ial

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Hel

ped

her t

o re

flect

Su

ppor

tive

cont

ext

143

Int

Yes

144

Tina

Pe

ople

who

I th

ink

are

doin

g a

won

derf

ul jo

b an

d ve

ry im

porta

nt v

ery

impo

rtant

I ca

n th

ink

of so

m

any

situ

atio

ns w

here

telli

ng a

stor

y lik

e th

at (1

) cou

ld b

e so

cat

harti

c I m

ean

I thi

nk it

was

err

do

ing

at th

e tim

e to

hav

e pe

ople

list

enin

g an

d be

ing

supp

ortiv

e w

as a

won

derf

ul e

xper

ienc

e

Faci

litat

ors d

id a

w

onde

rful

job

Impo

rtant

that

stor

ies

get t

old

Cat

harti

c

Won

derf

ul e

xper

ienc

e

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Wan

ted

peop

le to

le

arn

from

stor

y C

atha

rtic

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t H

elpe

d he

r to

refle

ct

Wan

ting

to

educ

ate

othe

rs

145

Int

Mm

mm

146

Tina

V

ery

good

and

I th

ink

that

was

the

only

tim

e I’

ve e

ver h

ad th

at u

mm

(1) s

o it

was

goo

d ye

s it w

as

Firs

t tim

e sh

e’d

ever

H

as c

oped

with

H

elpe

d he

r to

App

endi

x 7

80

very

pos

itive

(lau

ghte

r)

expe

rienc

ed th

at ty

pe o

f su

ppor

t V

ery

posi

tive

expe

rienc

e

little

supp

ort f

or

year

s B

enef

icia

l

refle

ct

Supp

ortiv

e co

ntex

t

147

Int

Shal

l we

end

it th

ere?

(lau

ghte

r)

14

8 Ti

na

Yes

(lau

ghte

r)

14

9 In

t Th

ank

you

Appendix 8: Interview summaries Summary of Betty’s Interview Betty wanted to make a story to highlight the mistakes which had been made in her sons care. She didn’t want to blame anyone, but wanted services to learn from these mistakes. She wanted people to have some insight into what a carer goes through. She did not expect it to have such a therapeutic effect on her and so was consequently surprised when she felt liberated by the process. The role of her story in helping other people may be part of her own healing. It perhaps gave her some sense of agency or validated her as a person, whereas a long term carer, her voice had often been ignored. She recounts an incident when John first became ill and her request for him to be admitted to hospital was ignored. As result he went missing that night, and she was worried sick. Thus she may have felt some responsibility for her son not receiving an appropriate level of care. She found the workshop very emotional and found listening to other people’s stories very upsetting. She acknowledges the high level of support that was available and the nice environment. Being with other people who’d had similar experiences made it easier for her to talk about her experiences. She bonded with the rest of the group. She was full of praise for the facilitators. All these factors helped her to feel safe. She would like to keep in touch with rest of the group. Betty was able to look at her past and interpret it more positively which helped to liberate her from hidden feelings of guilt. Telling her story has helped her feel free. She woke up early in the morning after the second day with feelings of joy and freedom. It was several weeks after the workshop that she realised that she had been carrying feelings of guilt around with her. Looking back at photos of when her son was younger made her relive the feelings of doubt that she had about whether she was being a good mother. She realised that she’d blamed herself for her role in John’s illness and had buried these feelings. Looking at photos helped her to see that she had been a good mum and had looked after her children properly. She saw how challenging it had been bringing up three children as a single mum and how she’d had to be strong. Despite these challenges she’d always managed to take the children on holiday every year. Overall, the process helped to release her from feelings of guilt and blame. The positive effects have endured since the workshop. Now she is able to leave the house and do things for herself without feeling guilty. She is generally feeling a lot happier and more confident as a result of the process. She has shown her story to friends. This has helped her friends to understand what she has been through and has validated her experiences. She feels she can be more open about mental illness now and more confident about addressing the stigma of mental illness. Overall, her interview suggests that she was able to reflect positively on how she brought up her son. She was listened to, had her experience validated and felt part of a supportive group. She hopes that she can help others through her story. These factors have helped her to come to terms with her past, be released from negative feelings and have lead to her feeling more confident, freer and generally happier.

Appendix 8 2

Summary of Clare’s Interview Clare wanted to ‘unpick’ the circumstances around her son’s death and ‘get it together’. So there is some sense that this was a way for her to make sense of and come to terms with her son’s death. But she also wanted mental health services to learn from the mistakes that had been made in his care. She also wanted other people in similar circumstances to feel that they’re not alone. As a Sheffield Health & Social Care Trust governor she has been at events where her story has been shown. She has seen how it has a powerful impact on the audience. Clare describes the workshop as one of the best experiences of her life. However, at the time she felt like she’d been to ‘hell and back’. She had to relive events surrounding her son’s death, but because she’d been in a supportive context, she felt better for the experience. Looking through Matt’s things and trying to find photos to illustrate the story was very upsetting. She had to confront feelings of guilt. Although she felt better after the workshop, she had a difficult time coming up to Christmas last year and has been trying to get some therapy since then. Although at the time of the workshop she thought ‘I’ve managed to put that in a box and finished with it now’, she later realised that ‘nothing’s that simple’. But it did help her to feel better about her son’s death. Through her work she keeps on having to revisit her son’s death which makes it very difficult for her to move on. She has shown the story to her children and friends. This has helped her to get support and deal with the feelings of guilt and blame which continue to trouble her. Although she describes how the process has helped, because she is still struggling emotionally, she is uncertain about its long term impact on her emotional well-being. However, she is confident that it is having a massive impact on staff in mental health services and thus her main objective has been fulfilled. Summary of James’s Interview James found the workshop a very hard and emotionally difficult experience. He hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be as he’d not ‘gone into his accident’ in such depth before. He felt this was the right context for him to be reflecting on his accident. Although he’d seen psychologists and counsellors before, having to tell his story to the group seemed to have a bigger impact on him than other types of therapy. He found retelling his story traumatic and it seemed more ‘raw’ and ‘real’ than previous experiences in therapy. Perhaps reliving it so vividly helped him to come terms with it more effectively. Prior to the workshop he’d done CBT and therapeutic writing for a year, but felt that he’d just being going round in circles. This approached seemed to be much more effective. A year ago he was feeling suicidal but is now feeling much more positive about life. He still sees a counsellor but is actually planning for the future.

Appendix 8 3

He was really upset by other people’s experiences. Being with other people who were dealing with personal trauma was also therapeutic for James. He knew that he was not alone in dealing with emotional pain. James felt that it was a very caring group and that other people really listened to him, whereas he felt that most other people just weren’t bothered. The process motivated to ‘stop feeling sorry himself because everybody has traumas to deal with’. He is now able to talk more openly about his accident and not get upset. In a sense, he no longer has to keep it a secret. He found the process really hard and wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. He describes having all this stuff in his head which he wanted to get down as quickly as possible. He feels that the process helped him to open the box into which he put all the negative things about his accident, take everything out and deal with it (and possibly put the lid back on and keep it contained). The process has helped him to move on with his life. There is a sense that he was able to face all these difficult things, within such as supportive context, and come through the other side, albeit shaken. The process has left him feeling that his accident no longer has the power to hold him back, that it is contained on a DVD now and he can move on in life. Since the story he spends less time dwelling on his accident. He thought the facilitators were fantastic and treated the group very sensitively. Despite finding it very difficult emotionally, he thinks that the workshop could not have been improved upon. It took him several weeks to recover from the experience but is really glad that he did it. Although he is still struggling, life has got better. Since making the story, his father has died and he feels this has set back his recovery from PTSD. He would like to make another story to help him deal with the impact of his father’s death He wanted to make a story so that other people could learn from his experiences and that it would give them hope. He is proud of his story and it has consequently probably been good for his self confidence. He is even more keen now on helping people with mental health problems. James expresses concern that the process may be too much for some people, which reflects that at one point he couldn’t go on. So the fact that he has got through seems even more of an achievement. He’d also never used a computer before and so completing the story gave him a great sense of achievement. In summary, the process has helped him to make sense of his past and find some closure. He says ‘all that trauma is on a little disk now’ which has helped him to move forward. Being part of a supportive group and being listened to helped him to open up and work through difficult life events. Just getting through the workshop, which at one point felt too difficult, seems to have been good for his confidence. He has developed the internal resources to break out of vicious circle of despair. Having been suicidal about a year ago, he is now much happier and optimistic about the future.

Appendix 8 4

Summary of Julie’s Interview Julie found it to be an incredible cathartic experience. It was more profound than she had anticipated. She described it as a ‘really challenging emotional journey’ which was almost spiritual. It gave her time to reflect and to ‘feel and hear what’s really going on’ which is a rare opportunity for her. In day to day life she ‘just sticks a plaster over her emotions’ and this gave her an opportunity to get to the root cause of what’s going on, which was very painful but ultimately therapeutic. She had come across the Patient Voices programme before and was impressed by the power of the stories. She liked the creativity of the stories and that they ‘came from the heart’. Consequently she was keen to take part and for the stories to be used in SHSC to enlighten staff. She also felt that service users and carers should have priority for places on the workshop over a member of staff like herself and was delighted when she was offered a place on the workshop. She now uses the stories in the corporate induction training which she delivers and is keen for more people to be involved with the Patient Voice programme and for people to watch the stories. She had initially wanted to do a story related to work, but was moved to talk about her mum. When she first mentioned this in the story circle she found it very emotional and burst into tears. She was surprised by her response as her mum had died a while previously, but it showed how raw her emotions still were despite the passage of time. By talking about her mum she was able to fully involve all of herself in the workshop and be on the same journey as the other participants who were also talking about traumatic life events. She thought the facilitation was excellent and felt very safe. She was able to trust the whole group. The context helped her to be honest about her emotions and she felt safe to express them. On the first day she just sobbed and sobbed and that felt ok. She found it hard emotional work. It took some time to recover and describes how the workshop had felt like being in a different world where her ‘emotions were absolutely up front and raw’. By contrast she normally has to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’ and be strong for everyone else, whereas in the workshop it felt ok to show her emotions and cry. She was keen to show her story to her two daughters and now feels that she’s left behind a legacy of her mum which presents positive images of her mum when she was she was younger in contrast to how she was in old age. She hasn’t shown it to her Dad and she is afraid of how it might affect him. Prior to the workshop, she had been critical of how she had cared for her mum, thinking that she could have done better. Through the process she was able to see herself more positively and was freed from some of her negative emotions. It helped her to come to terms with her mum’s death, which because of how quickly her mum had died, and being a busy working mum, she not really had time to do before. She’d felt guilty about not being with her mum when she actually passed away and saw herself as ‘such a baddy’. The process her gave her the time and space to reflect on events and see how much she had cared for her mum.

Appendix 8 5

Overall, she thought it was a wonderful experience which has helped her to positively reframe the events around her mum’ death and free her feeling guilty about not being there when her mum died. She is a great advocate for the approach and keen for others to be involved. Summary of Martin’s Interview Martin produced his first story so that others could learn about mental illness and his second story so that people in a similar position to him could see that recovery is possible, even if they’d be debilitated by mental illness for decades. He also wanted students and staff in mental health services to have more insight in the realities of living with severe mental illness and thereby improve mental health services. However, he was also doing it for himself as well although he thought he was passed the stage where recovery was possible. Prior to making the first digital story, Martin had insight into his own illness which was as a result of childhood trauma. However, despite the help of many mental health professionals he had been unable to control his violent outbursts. He felt unable to break the chains of the past and did not believe that recovery was possible. He found the process difficult and felt vulnerable telling his story to the rest of the group. The first story initially left him feeling shaken and anxious at the thought of millions of people seeing his story on the internet. Martin found it difficult to open up to people and was worried about the impact of other people learning about his past. Martin found the actual experience very empowering. He found the group very supportive and was able to bond with the group in a way which he hadn’t hitherto been able. He saw that everyone has traumatic experiences in their lives and this helped him to bond with the rest of the group, whereas he’d always found it difficult to let people get close to him before. He found the facilitation very supportive and empowering which helped to express his feelings more fully than before. He has done writing therapy previously, which he had found useful, but his was much more powerful. During the process he felt able to confront his demons, or ghosts, and during the process their power over him diminished. He was able to see things more clearly (maybe his past or maybe other futures / ways of being – not clear). He felt he started to move forward during the workshop and has been continuing to recover every since. Being able to control the content of the story and the pace at which he opened up was important which helped him to see that he could control other aspects of his life. The story was also very personal and through it he was able to express himself in new ways which he consequently found empowering. The process has had a gradual but dramatic effect on him which he describes in his second story as a ‘new dawn and brighter future’. Overall he feels more confident, in control, emotionally resilient and optimistic about the future. He sees the process as helping him to come to terms with his past and of breaking the chains which were holding him back.

Appendix 8 6

Overall, as a result of the two storytelling projects and using the stories to teach students, he has gone from struggling to control his violent behaviour and having little hope for the future to being well on the road to a brighter future. He is surprised by the progress he’s made and consequently thinks it is a brilliant thing to do. Summary of Ruth’s Interview Ruth made her first story because she thought it would be a bit of an adventure. She went along wanting to tell the whole world about the anger that she felt but was surprised that she told a very different story. The story that she told came not from her normal angry self but from her creative essence from which she had become isolated over the years. She describes an organic power working through her. She initially found the first workshop frustrating until she changed the voice in her story from the first to the third person so that it read more like a fairy tale. At this point she cried and had some sort of epiphany. She became completely absorbed in the creative process and describes ‘completely flying with it’. The change of voice in some mysterious way gave her a different perspective on her life. She loved the creative aspect of the process. She seemed to tap into some creative power within her which she really loved. It was reminiscent of other creative things she used to do when she was younger but hadn’t done for a long time. For her, creative expression seems to have been an important part of her identity which she had lost because of the burden of caring for her children. Having a voice helped her to move on from an all consuming identity as a carer, and get back in touch a sense of her having a life of her own. Seeing other people’s stories had a big impact on her. She describes seeing other people’s stories as an enormous privilege. She realised that everyone’s got a story but that how we deal with it is important. Through the experience she realised that she’d been missing out on life, and has since been living differently. She saw how her story had been controlling her and realised that she didn’t have to let it control her any longer. She described how she had lost her own identity and had become consumed by the identity of a carer. She describes how she had had little opportunity to tell her story before but had become a voice for her children who couldn’t communicate. She’d had lots of therapy before but this was more powerful probably because it allowed her to express herself creatively and involved an intense period over three days. She found the process exhausting and it took her several weeks to recover. The first workshop transformed her life and since then she has been living more fully and been able to respond more creatively on a day to day basis. She has been able to see through some of the unhelpful views which had been disempowering her. She feels freer and is more able to live in the moment. She feels liberated from the drama of life as a carer and has moved from feeling hard done to and having to cope with a dreadful situation to seeing that life can be hard and that you just need to get on with it. She feels that she is better at looking after herself and in some sense is more able to listen to her own story on a day to day basis. She feels she has more of an

Appendix 8 7

identity and can respond creatively to life’s challenges rather than simply reacting all the time. She has used her first story in teaching students but no longer wants to do this. Although she is still happy for people to use her stories, she no longer wants to be present. In some sense, she appears to have moved on from telling her story as a carer. She feels her story is very precious and personal and doesn’t necessarily want to discuss this with strangers. She describes a gradual awakening. Other factors have been important in this, but her first story helped to get the process started. The second story felt like completing circle. Overall, Ruth found the process very helpful and healing. The creative process and seeing other people’s storied gave her insight into her life and freed her from a disabling identity as a carer. She had a rare opportunity to tell her story, rather than speaking for her children. She has regained a more empowering creative identity which had been lost through the burden of caring. She generally seems to have a more healthy perspective on life, is able to respond more creatively to life’s challenges and worries less about the future. Summary of Tina’s Interview Her main reason for doing this was to produce a story which would be used in teaching. She wanted to help other people to understand what it’s like to have a mental illness and convey the ‘horrors of psychosis’. She wanted to get across the sense of loss and grief. She describes Robert’s illness as like ‘somebody dying over and over and over again’ and how because of its ongoing nature, how it is difficult to come to terms with. But she also wanted to show Robert when he was well and to some extent vindicate him. She described how she managed to cope as single mum by ‘packing all the shit in her life into a suitcase, locking it up and putting it out of the way’ and looking forward. So it was very difficult for her to look back. Over the years her voice had been ignored by mental health services which had undermined her. Neither had she been able to talk to friends because of the stigma around mental illness. She spent a lot of time in the interview talking about Robert’s illness and mental health services. This may reflect the fact that her voice as a carer has often been ignored. She feels that she needs to advocate for people with severe mental illness who have been disabled by their illness and their medication and end up ‘stomping around like zombies’. Although she is critical of mental health services, she also acknowledges some good services and clinicians. She found it a very emotional and moving experience. Other people’s stories really upset her. She found it very difficult to talk about herself both in the interview and in the workshop. By contrast she was very willing to talk about Robert and mental health services. She describes how she has become ‘so buttoned up’ and that this did allow her to ‘let off steam’. She found it very beneficial and wishes that she had done it years ago. She is full of praise for the caring and sensitive facilitation and for the support from the rest of group. However, she still ruminates on difficult experiences and does not seem to have fully come to terms with Robert’s illness. She says that she cannot unpick the past but has to

Appendix 8 8

move forward, and consequently this process was difficult because it made her go back into her past. She thinks that not having a father placed a burden on Robert to be the ‘man in the family’ and thus feels partially responsible for Robert’s illness and questions whether she was a good mother to him. She describes how she encouraged Robert to get a job and how after 6 months away from home he had his first big psychotic episode. Thus there is a sense that she put too much pressure on him and this was one of the things which led to him becoming ill. She found the support from other group members therapeutic and continues to see Clare, another carer, and they are able to support each other emotionally. She has shown the story to Robert’s care coordinator as she thought it was good for him to see Robert before he became ill. She found this process helpful. She talks about suffering from depression, both prior to and after the workshop and how in the past she has felt really suicidal. Since making the story she has come to realise that she was subject to mental abuse when she was married. She feels that you have to accept the consequences of your decisions. She feels she could do with making another story to deal with some of the stuff about her past which she’s become more aware recently. Overall, although her main motivation was for her story to help other people understand mental illness, she found it really valuable to be in a supportive context and be properly listened to. It was the first time that she had experienced that level of support. However, although the process helped her to deal with some things, she has subsequently become aware of other difficult emotions and thoughts, and so still struggles emotionally. Having gone through life suppressing her feelings, which was not always an effective strategy, she now struggles to deal with her feelings as she becomes more aware of them.

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rapy

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ativ

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endi

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She

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gglin

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ast

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hel

ped

her t

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rms

with

her

son’

s de

ath,

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she

is

still

stru

gglin

g

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n SH

SC

gove

rnor

she

is

cont

inua

lly

rem

inde

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akes

it

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icul

t for

her

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mov

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hel

ped

him

ge

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sure

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co

me

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rms

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his

ac

cide

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hel

ped

him

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is

acci

dent

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old

him

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hart

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pow

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ains

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m

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was

abl

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ings

mor

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early

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ram

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past

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ave

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eed

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artly

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y fo

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Opt

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Mos

t wou

ld li

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ake

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her s

tory

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rillia

nt w

onde

rful

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nce

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erat

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lly h

appi

er

Hel

ped

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mor

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ppor

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oces

s has

he

lped

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she

is

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gglin

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otio

nally

Posi

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ct

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enta

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alth

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ore

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ts to

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Feel

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chai

ns, a

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wn

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ture

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inks

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iant

thin

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impa

ct

Ver

y he

lpfu

l and

he

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g Is

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e to

resp

ond

mor

e cr

eativ

ely

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fe’s

ch

alle

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eing

oth

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peop

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g im

pact

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Hel

ped

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ct, b

e m

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e fo

und

it ve

ry

bene

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w

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ld

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year

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atic

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ery

supp

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ery

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erie

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Ver

y he

lpfu

l V

ery

supp

ortiv

e gr

oup

Plea

sed

with

pro

cess

B

eing

with

peo

ple

who

’d b

een

thro

ugh

traum

as h

elpe

d

Posi

tive

impa

ct o

n m

enta

l hea

lth

Posi

tive

impa

ct

Hel

ped

her g

et m

ore

supp

ort

Hel

ping

her

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Hel

ped

fam

ily c

ome

to te

rms w

ith M

att’s

dea

th

Cat

harti

c H

elpe

d he

r to

shar

e he

r sto

ry

Pow

erfu

l eff

ect o

n fa

mily

D

oesn

’t dw

ell o

n ac

cide

nt so

muc

h no

w

Hel

ped

him

to b

e m

ore

open

D

efin

ite im

prov

emen

t in

his m

enta

l hea

lth

Less

anx

ious

M

ore

posi

tive

/ opt

imis

tic a

bout

the

futu

re

Mor

e ef

fect

ive

than

ther

apy

he’d

had

bef

ore

Gla

d he

did

it

App

endi

x 11

: Fin

al d

atas

et th

emes

with

all

seco

nd o

rder

cod

es

Oth

er /

Still

stru

gglin

g em

otio

nally

/ to

com

e to

term

s w

ith th

e pa

st

Still

stru

gglin

g w

ith p

ast

Still

feel

s gui

lty

Long

term

eff

ect u

ncle

ar

Con

fuse

d by

feel

ings

Fe

ar a

bout

the

futu

re

Still

stru

gglin

g Su

ffer

s fro

m P

TSD

W

ould

like

to m

ake

anot

her s

tory

to h

elp

deal

with

fa

ther

’s d

eath

St

ill d

oubt

s her

self

Did

it to

hel

p ot

her p

eopl

e H

opes

it h

as d

one

som

e go

od

Util

ity o

f sto

ries i

mpo

rtant

D

idn’

t exp

ect t

o be

nefit

Le

gacy

W

ante

d to

tell

his s

tory

W

antin

g ot

hers

to se

e th

at re

cove

ry is

po

ssib

le

Few

exp

ecta

tions

Th

ough

t it w

ould

be

good

D

oes t

each

ing

for h

imse

lf as

wel

l

Libe

ratio

n Im

prov

ed se

lf be

lief

Impr

oved

self

conf

iden

ce

Rel

ease

d fro

m fe

elin

gs o

f gui

lt V

alua

ble

Hea

ling

Plea

sed

Feel

s mor

e in

con

trol a

nd

pow

erfu

l Fe

els m

uch

free

r now

B

roke

n th

e ch

ains

R

ecov

erin

g ra

pidl

y M

ore

emot

iona

lly re

silie

nt n

ow

Wou

ld re

com

men

d it

Empo

wer

ing

Abl

e to

be

open

Fe

lt sa

fe

Hel

ped

her t

o sh

are

stor

y Sh

arin

g ex

perie

nce

Su

ppor

t

Trus

t W

onde

rful

R

are

oppo

rtuni

ty

Expr

essi

on

Con

trolli

ng c

onte

nt w

as im

porta

nt

Empo

wer

ing

faci

litat

ion

Ver

y su

ppor

tive

faci

litat

ion

Faci

litat

ion

very

impo

rtant

St

ill fe

els t

he su

ppor

t fro

m th

e gr

oup

Posi

tive

refr

amin

g W

ante

d to

mak

e se

nse

of th

e pa

st

Feel

s bet

ter a

bout

the

past

En

joye

d co

mpl

etin

g st

ory

Not

had

muc

h su

ppor

t H

as st

rugg

led

Still

com

ing

to te

rms w

ith p

ast

Diff

icul

t for

her

to lo

ok b

ack

Mor

e w

illin

g to

look

bac

k no

w

Ref

lect

ing

on p

ast

Lack

of s

uppo

rt in

the

past

Su

ppor

t fro

m S

OR

T Lo

oked

in m

ore

dept

h th

an b

efor

e R

ealis

es th

at h

e ha

s to

mov

e on

Hel

ped

him

com

e to

term

s with

his

acc

iden

t M

akin

g se

nse

of p

ast

Hel

ped

him

to m

ove

forw

ard

Hel

ped

him

to sh

are

his s

tory

C

halle

nge

of c

arin

g Fo

rmer

dou

bt

Look

ing

back

M

yste

ry

N

orm

ally

focu

s on

pres

ent

Old

feel

ings

R

are

oppo

rtuni

ty

Voi

ce ig

nore

d In

sigh

t Sh

ared

with

frie

nds /

fam

ily

Age

ncy,

Pow

er

Iden

tity

Cha

nge

Aw

are

of o

wn

prob

lem

s bef

ore

Had

kep

t his

his

tory

a se

cret

W

ary

of d

elvi

ng in

to p

ast

Did

n’t t

hink

he

coul

d ch

ange

C

ould

feel

cha

ins h

oldi

ng h

im b

ack

Cou

ldn’

t thi

nk a

bout

the

futu

re b

efor

e

Abl

e to

face

dem

ons

Dem

ons h

ad lo

st th

eir p

ower

Em

pow

erin

g st

orie

s V

ery

pers

onal

stor

y Ex

pres

sion

and

con

trol i

mpo

rtant

N

ew e

xper

ienc

e H

elpe

d hi

m to

see

thin

gs d

iffer

ently

Hel

ped

him

to c

hang

e M

ore

able

to b

e op

en

Usi

ng st

ory

in te

achi

ng h

elpe

d hi

s rec

over

y

Rap

id c

hang

e B

enef

icia

l M

ore

able

to b

ond

with

peo

ple

1. W

antin

g th

eir

stor

ies t

o he

lp o

ther

peo

ple

Impr

ove

MH

serv

ices

To

lear

n fr

om p

ast m

ista

kes

Hel

p ot

hers

to u

nder

stan

ding

MI a

nd c

arin

g To

giv

e ot

hers

hop

e Ex

pect

ed to

ben

efit

pers

onal

ly a

s wel

l H

avin

g th

e st

orie

s use

d ha

s em

pow

ered

the

stor

ytel

lers

2. V

ery

diff

icul

t em

otio

nal e

xper

ienc

e R

eliv

ing

diff

icul

t & tr

aum

atic

ex

perie

nces

O

ther

peo

ple’

s sto

ries w

ere

very

up

setti

ng

Diff

icul

t tel

ling

stor

y to

rest

of g

roup

Pa

infu

l mem

orie

s O

penn

ess w

ith fe

elin

gs

Dee

p co

mpl

ex e

xper

ienc

e

3. S

uppo

rtiv

e co

ntex

t Se

nsiti

ve c

arin

g gr

oup

Se

nsiti

ve c

arin

g fa

cilit

ator

s Fe

lt sa

fe

Abl

e to

fully

exp

ress

feel

ings

A

ble

to te

ll st

ory

B

eing

with

peo

ple

with

sim

ilar

expe

rienc

es

Felt

like

they

wer

en’t

alon

e de

alin

g w

ith

emot

iona

l pai

n B

onde

d w

ith g

roup

G

ave

peop

le a

voi

ce

Bei

ng li

sten

ed to

Se

nse

of a

genc

y V

alid

ated

thei

r exp

erie

nce

Se

nse

of a

chie

vem

ent

Posi

tive

view

of s

elf

Pow

er o

f cre

ativ

e ex

pres

sion

Em

pow

erin

g pr

oces

s Pr

ofou

nd, a

lmos

t spi

ritua

l V

ery

good

exp

erie

nce

4. P

ositi

ve r

efra

min

g In

sigh

t – a

ble

to se

e m

ore

clea

rly

Rar

e op

portu

nity

to re

flect

Se

e ow

n st

reng

ths

Empo

wer

ing

Abl

e to

face

dem

ons

Bei

ng a

ble

to c

ontro

l the

stor

y he

lped

so

me

to re

alis

e th

ey c

ould

con

trol i

ts

pow

er o

ver t

hem

H

elpe

d pe

ople

to c

ome

to te

rms w

ith p

ast

even

ts

Hel

ped

peop

le to

real

ise

hidd

en fe

elin

gs o

f gu

ilt

Hel

ped

peop

le to

bre

ak o

ut o

f neg

ativ

e cy

cles

and

dis

ablin

g id

entit

ies

Free

d pe

ople

from

thei

r pas

t

5. P

ositi

ve im

pact

on

life

in g

ener

al

Free

dom

, lib

erat

ion

Abl

e to

get

mor

e su

ppor

t A

ble

to b

e m

ore

open

now

Fr

eed

from

gui

lt an

d bl

ame

- cat

harti

c H

ealin

g M

ore

optim

istic

abo

ut th

e fu

ture

M

ost w

ould

like

to m

ake

anot

her s

tory

B

rillia

nt w

onde

rful

exp

erie

nce

M

ore

effe

ctiv

e th

an th

erap

y Im

prov

ed se

lf co

nfid

ence

& se

lf be

lief

Feel

s mor

e in

con

trol o

f life

App

endi

x 12

: Fin

al d

atas

et th

emes

with

the

mai

n se

cond

ord

er c

odes