Analytic Paragraph/Short Response Writing

Topic Sentence: Include Author’s Full Name and Title

Incorrect• In the story, “The Most

Dangerous Game” by Connell

• Poe’s The Cask

Correct• In Richard Connell’s

“The Most Dangerous Game”

• Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Cask of Amontillado”

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Topic Sentence: Connect Literary Device to Purpose or Theme

Incorrect• De La Mare’s The Listeners

has bountiful imagery• The use of imagery in The

Birds is strong throughout the whole story

• There are many lines that tell us about the setting in “The Birds”

Correct• In “The Cask of

Amontillado” Edgar Allen Poe utilizes dark and foreboding imagery to foreshadow the impending tragic ending.

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Topic Sentence: Make A Claim of Analysis that You will Prove! Do not

begin with a Narrative Detail

Incorrect• The setting of “The Birds” is

on the coast in England and begins when Nat is at farm.

• “The Cask of Amontillado” begins with Montresor meeting Fortunato during the festival.

• In “The Birds” the use of imagery and foreshadowing is a large part of the story.

Correct

• In “The Cask of Amontillado,” Edgar Allen Poe uses verbal and dramatic irony to add suspense and terror to the chilling unfolding of events.

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Using Academic Language: ELEVATE-MAKE IT FORMAL

Incorrect• It sets a laid back mood• The mood was spooky

• Makes us think the birds are gonna do something bold

• The birds are like crazy

• There is a bunch of irony in the “Cask of Amontillado”

Correct• The relaxed atmosphere• The menacing mood created

• The actions of the birds suggest they will act boldly.

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Using Academic Language: NO CONTRACTIONS

Incorrect• “These birds aren’t what

caused the horrible setting”• Something is likely to

happen to the Triggs but doesn’t specify what.

Correct• These birds did not create

the ominous setting.

• The actions of the Triggs indicate

• Does not specify what they will encounter.

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Using Academic Language: AVOID CLICHES

Incorrect• The conflicts in the story

makes the reader want to keep reading it.

Correct

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Using Academic Language: No Weak or Wish-Washy Words

Weak Words include• Very, almost, somewhat, just, like, really,

big, great, good, so, some, fun, much• Also generally avoid using “the reader”

considered unecessary

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Using Academic Language: No Weak or Wish-Washy Words

Sample Sentences• These are just a few examples of imagery in the story• This quote from “The Birds” gives good details which helps

create suspense.• The conflicts in the story made it fun.• The birds were getting angrier and very violent.• The birds were acting unusual and going to do something

bad. It has a bad reputation• Du Maurier portrays much foreshadowing• So it was hard to communicate with the outside world.

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Using Academic Language: NO PERSONAL PRONOUNS!!

Incorrect• These quotes are telling US

as readers that no one has experienced this weather before.

• In “The Birds” foreshadowing help YOU understand the story better.

• Through these conflicts, WE feel for Rainsford.

Correct• These quotes REVEAL that

the weather is changing dramatically.

• In Daphne du Maurier’s “The Birds,” foreshadowing serves to create an ominous and foreboding mood to the story.

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Using Academic Language: Avoid Wordiness

Incorrect• The reason being for this

quote is that it states what the analysis is for the entire story, it creates a sketchy and suspenceful feeling for the reader.

• The foreshadowing in “The Birds” by Daphne du Maurier is present many times in which she is foreboding evil.

CorrectThis quote deepens the

suspense of the story and foreshadows…

In “The Birds” Daphne du Maurier employs foreshadowing to intimate the sinister events that will unfold on the island.

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Using Academic Language: Don’t Restate the Obvious -- ANALYZE

IncorrectThis quote is important

because it shows us that the characters live by the sea.

CorrectThis quote illustrates that the

coastal setting creates a feeling of the unpredictability of nature.

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Sample Student Paragraph: A-

• In “The Cask of Amontillado” Edgar Allen Poe utilizes verbal irony to depict the evil plot of revenge meticulously executed by one man.

• Throughout the story, Poe employs verbal irony in the remarks of Montresor to add a chilling terror to the killing of Fortunato. When they meet for the first time, Montresor proclaims, “My dear Fortunato, we are luckily met.” The irony of this statement is that the meeting will begin an unfortunate sequence of events ending in Fortunato’s death at the hands of Montresor. In the catacombs they enter Montresor states, “Your health is precious.” This exemplifies verbal irony because Montresor does not care for Fortunato’s health because he is plotting his gruesome death. Montresor uses verbal irony because he does not want Fortunato to uncover his malicious intentions to kill him and to be in shock when he is betrayed.

• BRIEF CONCLUSION: In this short story, Poe utilizes verbal irony to heighten and intensify the chilling fate of poor Fortunato.

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