AND

ss by Lewis Carroll

An Animated Feature Film

Based on the Illlustratioiis of Sir John Tenniel

Adapted by

hIARCX3 1996 2ND D W I ’

NOTES

The original name af the first book was ‘‘Alice’s Adventures Underground”. This should be borne in mind by the animators when drawing the passageways and scenery Alice traverses. Roots and sail should figure prominently in the landscape.

CAST LIST

CHARLES LUTWIDGE DODGSON (30) (a.k.a. LEWIS CARROLL) LONNA LIDDELL (1 2) ALICE LIDDELL (I 0) (Live and animated) EDlTH LIDDELL (8) THE REVEREND ROBINSON DUCKWORTH (30) THE WHITE RABBIT THE CHESHIRE CAT CROCODILE MOUSE DODO GRYPHON LORY LIZARD PELICAN MONKEY EAGLET OWL CRAB MOTHER CRAB DAUGHTER MAGPIE CATERPILLAR CANARY PIG BABY DUCHESS COOK HATTER MARCH HARE DORMOUSE OYSTER PANTHER EXECUTIONER OLD FATHER WILLIAM YOUNG MAN CARD SOLDIERS FROG FOOTMAN FISH FOOTMAN LOBSTERS SALMON SNAIL WHITING SEALS MOCK TURTLE FLAMlNGOS HEDGEHOGS QUEEN OF HEARTS KING OF HEARTS KNAVE OF FIEARTS

CAST LIST (2)

3 PAINTERS JURYMEN ANIMALS WHITE KING WHITE QUEEN HER DAUGHTER LILY WHITE KNIGHT (AS CHESS PIECE) THE BEAMISH BOY RED QUEEN THE JABBERWOCKY RAILWAY GUARD MAN IN PAPER SUIT I-IORSE GOAT BEETLE GIANT GNAT ROCKING HORSE FLY THE CHUKCHQUITO THE BREAD AND BUTTERFLY THE CLOAK AND DAGGER THE DOGERPILLAR TWEEDLEDUM TWEEDLEDEE CROW WALRUS CARPENTER 50 OYSTERS (2 GHOSTS) HUMPTY DUMPTY RED KNIGHT WHITE KNIGHT LION UNICORN

I

LIVE ACTION.

1. INT/CNARLES DODGSON'S STUDY. CHRIST CHURCH. OXFORD.

Rock still, half a dozen little girls in Mid-Victorian dress stare solemnly at tis - eyes round as saucers, lips compressed in concentration. We hear Dodgson's voice over.

DAY.

DODGSON (VO) No! No! No! No! You all look as solemn as sextons. You are not here to be executed. You are here to have your lovely physiognomies immortalised by the wet collodian process of photography. So you must all smile, laugh, giggle, guffaw, rollick, and geiierally jubilate.

They do not change expression, as WE WIDEN OUT to see we are in a study, neat and ordered to the point of pedantry, in Christ Church College Oxford in the mid 1850's. Behind a plate camera mounted on a tripod stands CHARLES LUTWIDGE DODGSON - a thin light-haired man about thirty years old. Of medium height, he is asymetrical, having one shoulder higher than the other, his blue eyes are not quite level, and when he walks it is with a peculiar, jerky gait. His sly smile is askew.

DODGSON Children, do you know about the mad gardener?

Murmurs of "no".

DODGSON I passed by his garden and marked with one eye How the Owl and the Oyster were sharing a pie. While the Duck and the Dodo, the Lizard and Cat Were swimming in milk round the brim of a hat.

A titter comes from the girls.

2 1ST GIRL

The Duck would be too big.

2ND GIRL So would the Dodo.

(For our purposes Alice should be as much like the Tenniel drawing as possible even though in real life Alice Liddell was not his model).

ALICE How do you know that? The Dodo is an extinct animal. As dead as the Dodo! You can't have seen one.

4TH GIRL Yes I havel Yes I have! And it wouldn't fit on a hat brim,

ALZCE You can't possibly have!

DODGSON Alice! Don't be so argumentative! Now girls, smile!

They stare at him grim faced. With a shrug he takes the photograph. A flash and a puff of smoke wipes the scene.

When it has cleared we see the photograph, AI1 the girls are pulling faces - sticking their tongues out, crossing their eyes, etc. etc.

2. EXT. RIVER ISIS. DAY

The day is heavily overcast, The three Liddell girls, Lorina (I3), Alice (IO) and Edith (8) are in a rowing boat, the first two rowing in a highly unco-ordinated fashion whilst the latter steers a zig zag course, watched by the Reverend Robinson Duckworth and Dodgson (both about 30). Dinah, Alice's cat is also in the boat.

DODGSON (VO) All in the golden afternoon Full leisurely we glide For both our oars, with little skill

3 By little arnis are plied While little hands make vain pretence Our wanderings to guide.

DODGSON Prima! Secunda!

As their names are called the girls turn to look at Dodgson.

DODGSON You really must learn to pull together. And you Tertia, you must learn to steer straight.

Edith pulls studiously on the tiller. We hear a deep rumble of thunder. Alice shudders fearfully.

ALICE Tell us a story, please Mr Dodgson.

DODGSON I'm not at all sure I'm in the mood. Why should I?

EDITH Then we won't hear the thunder

DODGSON Don't be afraid of the thunder, Tertia. It won't harm you. M e r all thunder is only the disturbance of air due to a discharge of electricity. In fact ...

LORINA Begin the story please, instantly.

ALICE Yes, now ifyou please. I can't wait, and let's have plenty of nonsense in it.

EDITH Go on, Mr Dodgson, do.

4

DODGSON (VQ) Ah cruel three! In such an hour Beneath such dreary weather To beg a tale of breath too weak To stir the tiniest feather. Yet what can one poor voice avail Against three tongues together.

All three girls look beseechingly up at him, and say ' * Please " together

DODGSON (VO) (Cont'd) Imperious Prima flashes forth Her edict to "begin it" In gentler tones Secunda hopes There will be nonsense in it. While Tertia interrupts the tale Not more than once a minute.

ROBINSON DUCKWORTH I think you'd better, Charles.

DODGSON Oh very well. Once upon a time., .

EDITH Why do all stories have to start with once upon a time?

LQRIN A/ALICE (Together) Ssh! Be quiet, Edith.

DODGSQN Once upon a time.. .

The heavens open. The adults seize the oars and row the boat to shelter under a willow tree on the bank, They tie up to a tree stump and Dodgson, having protected the three girls with his brolly, composes himself for sleep. Lorina prods him sharply.

LONNA Well go on with the story.

5

ALICE It is next time.

A LONG MIX coupled with STOP FRAME cloudscapes clearing to a cloudless blue sky.

3. EXT. RIVER ISIS. DAY.

It is a perfect summer day in July. Once again the boat with the same occupants as the last scene drifts idly on its way through the drowsy drone of bees, and skipping dragonflies, and the trilling of larks.

The boat pulls in to the bank, and the party disembarks to find the shade of a hayrick. Dodgson and Robinson carry the tea hamper between them.

DODGSON (VO)

A boat beneath a sunny sky Lingers onward dreamily In an evening of July.

Children three that nestle near Eager eye and willing ear Pleased a simple tale to hear.

Long has paled that sunny sky Echoes fade and memories die Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me phantomwise Alice moving under skies Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet the tale to hear Eager eye and willing ear Lovingly shall nestle near. In a Wonderland they lie Dreaming as the days go by Dreaming as the summers die.

Ever drifting down the stream - Lingering in the golden gleam Life, what is it but a dream?

Dodgson sets up his tripod camera as the others unpack the hamper. Lots of luscious

cakes are revealed, and bottles of boiled sweets, and ginger pop.

ALICE It is next time now, for our story Mr Dodgson. You never told it, you know.

EDITH (Sending him up) Once upon a time.,.

LORINA Ssh!

DODGSON You mustn’t be rude, Edith dear. Manners maketh little girls you know!

ALICE Please begin, Mr Dodgson.

DODGSON Very well. Just one picture first,

He looks through his camera which frames Alice sitting next to Lorina in the dappled shade of the hayrick on the river bank, with Dinah in her lap. Her eyes begin to screw up in the glare. Her head nods.

WE CUT to see the picture Dodgson has framed through the lens of the camera.

DODGSON (VO) Eyes open, Alice! Pay attention!

ALICE The sto ry.... tell us a story.

7 DODGSON

Very well.. .Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank .....

Alice's head sinks down, and she finds herself staring down a rabbit hole.

ANIMATION. TENNIEL DRAWINGS.

4. EXT. THE FIELD BY THE RIVER BANK. The White Rabbit with check coat, waistcoat, and parasol under its arm, dashes into shot. It takes a half hunter watch out of the waistcoat pocket.

WHITE RABBIT Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!

And it pops down the rabbit hole. Alice immediately dives down the hole after it.

5. INT. RABBIT HOLE. In the filtered light from above we see the walls of the rabbit hole as Alice, her voluminous skirt acting as a parachute, falls in slow motion downwards past dolls house-like domestic interiors representing many different centuries and cultures, - as if history is being represented in microcosm, and the start of the world's civilisation lay at its centre.

We hear but do not see various characters we are to meet later making remarks typical of themselves as a kind of aural trailer. viz:

NATTER Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky, Twinkle, twinkle.. . ,

DORMOUSE Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle.,.

QUEEN OF HEARTS Off with his head!

HATTER This watch is 2 days wrong. I told you butter wouldn't suit the works.

MARCH HARE It was the best butter you know.

NATTER Why is a raven like a writing desk?

CATERPILLAR You are old Father William, the youiig man said.

DUCHESS Speak roughly to your little boy And beat him when he sneezes He only does it to annoy Because he knows it teases.

MOCK TURTLE Will you walk a little faster said a whiting to a snail.

From one of the shelves she grabs an opaque jar labelled ORANGE MARMALADE, and opens it, but to her chagrin it is empty.

ALICE How tiresome of people to keep empty jars on their shelves. Lemon Marmalade I wouldn't have minded, but Orange is my favourite.

She puts it on a shelf she is passing.

ALICE I wonder how many miles I've fallen. By this time I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth, Let me see,.. that would be 4000 miles down I think, but then I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth. How h n n y it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards! The Antipathies, I think.

9 Below her the White Rabbit can still be seen tumbling through space, still consulting his watch and crying out.

WHITE RABBIT Oh dear! ... Oh dear! ... Oh dear! What's the time now? ... That can't be right ... Oh, it's the wrong way up.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) Dinah will miss me very much tonight, I should think. I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea time. (Aloud) Dinah, I wish you were down here with me, though there are no mice in the air.

The top half of the Cheshire Cat suddenly forms in the air, grinning.

CHESHIRE CAT Who's Dinah?

ALICE My cat.

CHESHIRE CAT Is she a Cheshire Cat?

ALICE No.

CHESHIRE CAT Then she can't be any good.

ALICE At least she doesn't creep up on a person in sections.

CHESHIRE CAT She obviously has no modesty. Showing all of herself - that's just brazen. By the way, you don't fly very well do you? And I suspect your cat flies worse than you do.

ALICE I'm sure he's very good at it.

CHESHIRE CAT (A Barker's Voice) Presenting - Cheeky Cheshire, - The Aerialist Puss!

He does a couple of cartwheels and back flips.

C€TES€IIRE CAT Whee! . . . .

ALICE I don't think he'd care to show off like that. Carrying on like a scalded cat! If I could see all of you I would throw a bucket of cold water over you.

CHESHIRE CAT Clever! A scalded cat dreads cold water. Just as well you haven't got any.

And he thumbs his nose at Alice, and slowly disappears, the grin leaving last.

ALICE What a rude cat! You'd put him to flight, Dinah, I know - at least the bits you could see of him!

She lands on a pile of sticks and dry leaves.

Immediately she is on her feet, only to be knocked down again by the White Rabbit coming from behind her in a panicky run.

WHITE RABBIT Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting.

It runs away from her down the passage. Alice pursues and is almost caught up to it when it turns a corner and disappears,

1 1 6. INT. HALLWAY The hallway is lit by a row oflamps hung from the roof. There are doors all round the hall, In an increasing panic Alice tries the handles of each of them, but they are all locked.

ALICE I shall never get out now. Never!

She sees a three-legged glass table with a tiny golden key on it. She takes up the key and tries it on a few of the doors, but it is obviously too small for all the keyholes.

At length she stumbles over a low curtain on a brass curtain rail, and behind it a little door about 15 inches high. She opens the door.

7. PASSAGEWAY AND GARDEN. Alice's POV. At the end of the passageway we see a bright, sun-drenched flower garden where fountains are playing, and miniature birds of exotic plumage swoop and dart among the Bonzai sized foliage.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) Even if my head would go through it would be of very little use without my shoulders.

She kneels and gets her head through the door, but there she sticks.

She extricates herself, relocks the door, rises, and wanders back to the glass table, and replaces the key. On it is now a bottIe with a label D R M ME attached to it.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) Oh how I wish I could shut up like a telescope. I think I could if I only knew how to begin. 1 wonder if I can find a baok of Riles €or shutting people up like telescopes.

Very suspiciously Alice uncaps the bottle and sniffs it, Images of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee and hot buttered toast emerge from the bottle and form briefly in the air.

12 She drinks it down, and immediately starts to collapse down in sections to about

ten inches, like a telescope.

ALICE What a curious feeling. I think I must be shutting up like a telescope.. . Curiouser and curiouser!

We measure her shrinking against the table leg. The head of the Cheshire Cat returns, and peers down at her through the glass table top, which distorts its features to malevolent effect, so that from Alice's P.O.V. it looks like a giant, devouring gargoyle.

CHESHIRE CAT It's very unfair to change your size. It's not playing the game,

ALICE Why isn't it? You do so all the time.

CHESHIRE CAT I'm allowed to, but you're just a copy cat - get it? Hee! Hee!

It disappears again, as before the grin last.

ALICE Thank the Lord it's gone. I can now get into that lovely garden. Now where did I put the k. . . .?

Her voice trails off as she looks up and sees the tiny golden key on the glass table top now far above her.

ALICE Oh no! What a stupid creature I am to be sure.

And she starts laboriously to climb one of the table legs. Finally she gets to the rim of the table and grabs for the key. It spurts from her hand out of reach. As she clings to the edge, the Cheshire Cat returns -just a grin and a paw. She freezes.

CHESHIRE CAT If I'd been asked, I'd have said you had

- cataplexy, my dear.

What's that, when it's at home? ALICE

CHESHIRE CAT A sudden, temporary paralysis due to fright.

The paw scratches Alice's hand, making her lose her grip on the table.

The Cat disappears laughing, as Alice falls bumpily down the table leg to land on the floor where she sits crying miserably. A large pool starts forming which reaches half way down the hall.

WE CIRCLE HER SLOWLY, giving her time for the cry and to pull herself togetlier.

ALICE Come, there's no use in crying like that ... I advise you to leave off this minute! Now let me collect myself I'll say a poem.

As Alice recites the poem we animate it, the crocodile emerging from the pool of tears to sit on the bank to "improve his shining tail" by excessive preening, and devour the little fishes with his wicked "gently smiling jaws"

ALICE How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale!

How clieerhlly he seems to grin How neatly spread his claws And welcomes little fishes in With gently smiling jaws., . , That's better - you great booby crying over a little key., . .All the same it's very vexing!

She stamps her foot in hry and slips into -

14 8. THE POOL OF TEARS Alice is swimming about in circles.

ALTC E (Thought Voice Over) I do wish T hadn't cried so much. I sliall be punished for it now, 1 suppose, by being drowned in m y own tears! That will be a queer thing to be sure.

Suddenly she sees a creature with big ears and whiskers swimming towards her,

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) Could it be Dinah? (Aioud. Calling) Dinah! Dinah!

The creature lifts its head. It is a Mouse.

MOUSE Dinah? Who's Dinah?

ALICE My cat.

The Mouse turns white, gives a little shriek, and trembles with fear.

ALICE Oh I beg your pardon. I quite forgot you didn't like cats.

MOUSE (Shrill) Not like cats! Would you like cats, if you were me? As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always hated cats - nasty, low, vulgar things! It then swims huffily away.

It then swims huffily away.

ALICE Oh dear. I'm afraid I've offended it. (Calling) Mouse, dear. Do come back again, and we won't talk about cats, again if you don't like them. I promise!

The Mouse turns and with condescending gestures swims slowly back,

Various animals including a Duck, a Dodo, a Lory (an Australian Parrot, perhaps the Rainbow Lorrikeet, or Triohoglosus haematodus), a Pelican, a Monkey, an Eaglet, an Owl and two Crabs - mother and daughter, fall into the pool.

ALICE Good Lord, it's raining cats and dogs.

The Mouse eyes Alice balefully, and wags its paw in a gesture of admonishment.

MOUSE You promised! I'm of€l

The mouse swims off furiously, climbs out and disappears. Ail the animals swim to the edge of the pool led by Alice, and climb out.

9. A DIFFERENT TUNNEL The animals stand around wet and bedraggled, taking short, squelching footsteps, and shaking themselves. Alice speaks first.

ALICE We must get dry, or we'll all catch our deaths.

DODO What we need is a caucus race!

ALICE What is a caucus race?

DODO It's usually run by elective party committees. We must run around in circles.

ALICE But that way we won't get anywhere.

DODO Yes we will. We will get dry. Come on everybody. On your marks. Get set. Go!

And the Dodo starts running round in circles ... All the animals follow suit, stopping and starting when they like, bumping into each other, and getting in the most fearful tangle.

M e r a short time the Dodo holds up an imperious walking stick.

DODO The race is over!

CHORUS OF ANIMALS But who has won?

DODO Everybody has won,and all must have prizes.

CHORUS But who is to give the prizes?

The Dodo points at Alice.

DODO Why she of course.

They crowd round Alice.

Prizes! Prizes! CHORUS

ALICE

17 I'm afraid I don't have any prizes.

CHORUS We want prizes!

ALICE Oh very well.

She searches through her pockets, and produces a box of comfits (little hard sweets

made by preserving dried fruit with sugar and covering them with a thin coating of

syrup).

ALICE Everyone shall have a comfit.

She hands them round. Some little birds choke on them and have to be patted on the back by the bigger animals. The bigger birds are however disdainful.

THE PELICAN Mine was so small I couldn't taste it at all. What a swizz!

MOUSE She must have a prize herself, you know.

DODO Of course. (To Alice) What else have you got in your pocket?

ALICE Only a thimble.

DODO Hand it over.

They all crowd round again as Alice complies.

DODO We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble.

18 They all cheer as Alice bows solemnly and takes back the thimble. ‘The creatures all dance off.

Alice is left alone, slightly bereft.

We hear in the distance feet pattering towards us.

ALICE I knew that stupid mouse would get over its pique.

But it is the White Rabbit, looking anxiously about, who appears.

WHITE RABBIT The Duchess!, , .The Duchess! Oh my fur and whiskers! ... Oh my sainted paws! She’ll get me executed sure as ferrets are ferrets ... Where can I have dropped my gloves and fan, I wonder.

ALICE Excuse me, but do you mean you’ve lost them?

WHITE RABBIT Of course 1 do, you silly girl. Mary Ann, what are you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me another pair, and a fan.

ALICE But my name is.. . .

The White Rabbit points imperiously overtopping her by some inches and Alice runs off in the indicated direction.

WHITE RGBBIT And mind the cucumber frames!

WHITE RABBIT (Muttering to himself) Then I'll go round and get in at the window.

20

He sets off down the stairs.

13. INT. BEDROOM. WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE.

In the bedroom Alice smiles grimly.

ALICE (To herself) Oh no you won't Mr Beau Bunny!

14. EXT. THE WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE. The White Rabbit tiptoes up to the house, and starts to shin up the drainpipe.

Alice's arm and hand hang down beside it.

WHITE RABBIT Good gracious! By the size of this arm a monster must be in the house!

As the White Rabbit comes abreast of the fingers, thumb and forefinger come together, and flick him off, sending him crashing into the cucumber frame at the bottom.

15. EXT. WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE As the White Rabbit extricates himself from the cucumber frame in the garden a chaotic scene presents itself.

Most of the animals we encountered in the pool of tears - Dodo, Owl, Pelican, Lory, Eaglet, Mouse, Monkey, Lizard are milling about, the first two pushing a handcart full of little stones, while the rest carrying ladders, ropes, pieces of scaffolding are marshalled by the White Rabbit.

WHITE RABBIT Over here fellows. We must get on the roof forthwith.

21 MOUSE

(To the Monkey) Where's the other ladder?

MONKEY I hadn't to bring but one. Bill's got the other.

BILL No I ain't.

OWL Well never mind. That one will stretch, if Dodo and I hold it. The question is will the roof bear up?

The Owl flies up to the roof and dislodges a slate,

OWL Cave! Heads below!

The slate smashes another cucumber frame. The White Rabbit regards it bleakly.

WHITE RABBIT That's the second cucumber frame smashed! Just for that you can go down the chimney, Owl, and flush her out.

OWL No. No. I'd be no good shifting a great lump o f a girl. Bill must go down the chimney.

The Lizard squeals in fear.

BILL No, not me! I hate chimneys. The soot will get into my moveable eyelids.

PELICAN Well keep them closed. Come on, up with him!

22 The Owl and the Dodo hoist the Lizard onto the ladder, and then pick both up and lean it against the house precariously holding the bottom of it up over their heads.

The Lizard reluctantly climbs up to the roof, his claws and scales making an awful botch of it, as the ladder waves about.

The head of the Cheshire Cat appears in the sky, level with the Lizard's head.

CHESHIRE CAT You know it takes a great deal of elevation of thought to produce a very little elevation of life. Not that lizards think that much ... By the way, whatever you do, old man, you mustn't look down.

lmrnediately the Lizard looks down, loses its grip, and with a despairing yell, slides down the roof, and crashes onto another cucumber frame. Once again the White Rabbit regards the scene mournfully.

WHITE RABBIT At this rate I soon shan't have any cucumber frames left at all. What a silly lizzy you are to be sure. Up you go again!

The Pelican waddles up, and picking the Lizard up in his bill, flies up to the roof and drops him squealing with fear down the chimney.

16. INT. BEDROOM. WHITE RABBIT'S FIOUSE. In the bedroom we see Alicels foot up the chimney drawn back for a kick.

WE TRACK 1N up the chimney to see her shoe connect with the Lizard's bottom.

17. EXT. WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE. The Lizard shoots out through the chimney, and through the air.

CHORUS OF ANIMALS Ooh! ... Aah! (as i n a crowd watching fireworks)

23

He is finally caught by the Lory.

WHITE RABBIT Well caught, Lory! Give him some brandy. (Hastily) The cooking, not the V.S.O.P!

Two Guinea Pigs minister to the stricken Lizard, pouring brandy down his throat. They stop.

BILL What are you stopping for?

They continue.

WHITE RABBIT Now, what to do ... ?

MOUSE There's only one thing for it. We must burn the house down!

WHITE RABBIT Burn the house down! Are you quite mad?

MOUSE It's the only way. Smoke her out!

WHITE RABBIT That's all very well, but it's not your house!

MOUSE Well why don't you lease it to me for a little while? Or perhaps I'll just "burrow" it.

The Mouse titters at its appalling pun.

18. INT. BEDROOM, WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE. Alice in her cramped posture manages to bring her hand in through the window to her mouth to cup a shout.

24

ALICE Any more of that talk, and I'll set Dinah - my cat on you!

A silence falls.

WHITE RABBIT (Voice Over) That barrowfd will do to begin with.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) A barrowful of what, I wonder?

A shower of little pebbles comes in at the window. Some hit her in the face. This is accompanied by giggles from below.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) 1'11 soon put a stop to this.

ALICE (cont'd) (Shouting) You'd better not do that again - unless you want a CATastrophe to happen.

A profound silence.

Through the window we see the Owl sitting on the roof

OWL That's not much of a threat. Dinah's not here,

The Cheshire Cat appears on the branch of a tree next to it.

CHESHIRE CAT But I am, and I'm hungrier than Dinah, and much more disagreeable.

The Owl faints, as the Cat disappears.

In the bedroom the pebbles turn into little cakes.

25

ALICE If 1 eat one of these cakes it's sure to make some change in my size. Everything I ingest seems to do so. And as it can't possibly make me any larger, it must make me smaller.

From Alice's POV we see the Cheshrie Cat appear in the open window.

CHESHRIE CAT That is an a priori statement.

ALICE Oh fiddle faddle!

She eats one of the cakes, and immediately starts to shrink. As soon as she is small enough to get through the door, she does so.

19. INT. STAIRCASE. WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE. Mice slides down the bannisters and shoots out of the house and through the front door into -

20. EXT. THE GARDEN OF THE WHITE RABBIT'S HOUSE. The crowd of animals all rush at her which is quite terrifjing since she is so small. In their hurry to join in, the Owl and the Dodo overbalance and let fall the ladder which demolishes the remaining cucumber frames. The White Rabbit impotently shakes his clenched paw. She takes to her heels and is soon in a thick wood.

21. EXT. WOOD. Menacing trees threaten Alice at every step. A fearsome snarling is heard in the shrubbery. Alice hides herselfjust in time in a thicket, as a huge puppy dog twice her size comes rushing out of the undergrowth and bowls her over,

She throws a stick for it, then runs in the other direction, giving the puppy dog the slip.

She runs blindly through thistles and bracken taller than herself, as the puppy snarls and slavers in her wake.

26

Finally she loses it, and fetches up against a giant mushroom.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) I suppose I should look for something to eat to restore my natural size. But what?

She peers over the rim of the mushroom, and finds herself staring into the eyes of a large blue caterpillar that is sitting on the top of the mushroom, smoking a long hookah.

ALICE I'm frightfully sorry to disturb you, Mr Caterpillar, but I need to regain my proper size,

The Caterpillar pays her no attention.

ALICE Do you think I might have a word with you, on the subject, sir.

The Caterpillar removes the mouthpiece of the hookah from its mouth, and blows smoke rings which form letters spelling out the word "WAIT".

The ears of the Cheshire Cat's head appear. It cups one of them, with its paws.

CHESHIRE CAT I am all ears.

CATERPILLAR I wasn't talking to you.

CHESHIRE CAT But I'm family. You are a caterpillar aren't you?

CATERPILLAR (Wincing at the pun) Vanish !

The Cheshire Cat's visible parts half disappear.

27

CATERPILLAR All of you!. . . .And no eavesdropping mind.

CHESHIRE CAT You'll never know though, will you?

The head slowly disappears; then the Caterpillar turns impatiently to Alice,

CATERPILLAR Now then, who are you?

ALICE I hardly know, sir, just at present.

CATERPILLAR What do you mean by that? Explain yourself.

ALICE I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir, because I'm not myself, you see.

CATERPILLAR I don't see. No.

ALICE I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly. I find being so many sizes in a day is very confusing.

CATERPXLALR I don't see why.

ALICE Just you wait until the day you have to turn into a chrysallis, and then after that into a butterfly. I should think you'll find it a little queer, won't you?

CATERPILLAR Not a bit.

ALICE Well I do.

28

CATERPJLLA R You! Who are you?

ALICE I think you ought to tell me who you are first.

CATERPILLAR Why?

Alice turns away impatiently.

CATERPILLAR Come back. I've something important to say.

ALICE What!?

CATERPILLAR Keep your temper.

ALICE How can I, when I can't even keep the right size? Is that all?

CATERPILLAR No.

Alice waits patiently while the Caterpillar smokes. The puffs of smoke conjure up the outline of the Cheshire Cat, Its eyes appear in the smoke fringed face glittering mischieviously .

ALICE And what's more I can't remember things as I used.

CATERPILLAR What things?

CHESHIRE CAT (Maliciously eyeing Alice) (Speaking sotto voice) I expect they'll be things like poems.

29

The Caterpillar blows a jet of smoke at the Cheshire Cat, dismissing it.

CATERPILLAR (Slyly) Would they be things like poems?

ALICE Yes, How clever of you!

CATERPILLAR Well, let's see! Recite You are old Father William.

Alice adopts a prim reciting pose.

ALICE "You are old Father William" the young man said "And your hair has become very white: And yet you incessantly stand on your head - Do you think, at your age, it is right?" "In my youth" Father William replied to his son "I feared it might injure the brain; But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old" said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door Pray what is the reason for that?"

"In my youth" said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old", said the youth "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak Pray, how did you manage to do it?

"In my youth" said his father, "I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife;

3 0 And the muscular strength it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old" said the youth, "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough" Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!" Do you think I can listen all day to such stum Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!

The four questions - Why he stands on his head, does back somersaults, eats a whole goose, and balances an eel on his nose, are of course all animated. The goose would seem to present the only real dificulty of amusing presentation. Perhaps the bones and beak could disappear one aRer the other in the manner o f the Cheshire Cat.

Alice relinquishes her reciting pose, and relaxes.

ALICE There! I'm afraid some of the words may have got altered.

CATERPILLAR Some of the words! All of them! It's wrong from beginning to end. For instance it starts: "You are old father William" the young man cried, "The few locks which are leR you are grey; You are hale, father William, a hearty old man; Now tell me the reason, I pray". Well go on - tell me.,.

ALICE I can't, I'm afraid. All I know is I'd like to be a bit larger. Three inches is such a wretched height to be.

CATERPILLAR (I-Iufily) It's a very good height indeed to be!

It rears up to its full height of three inches. 31

ALICE But I'm not used to it. Little girls are meant to be bigger than caterpillars.

CATERPILLAR Who says so?

ALICE Oh everybody knows that.

CATERPILLAR What everybody knows isn't worth knowing, but you'll get used to it in time.

The Caterpillar walks to the edge of the mushroom and abseils down the stalk to the ground from where it peers up at Alice.

CATERPILLAR One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow smaller.

Alice looks her question.

CATERPILLAR (Impatiently) Of the mushroom of course!

Alice contemplates the perfectly round mushroom in some perplexity, then stretches her arms in opposite directions and breaks off two piece of mushroom.

ALICE But which is which?

She nibbles a little of the right hand bit, Immediately her chin strikes her foot. She has collapsed to about two inches high.

32 She tries desperately to eat a piece of the left hand bit, but is hampered by the fact that her chin is pressed so closely against her foot that there is virtually no room to open her mouth.

She manages finally to compress a lump in to the corner of it,

Immediately she shoots up to a great height.

22. EXT. THE TREES. A downward looking shot from her P.O.V. reveals a long serpentine neck disappearing into a sea of green leaves.

A LICE Where have my shoulders got to - and my hands and feet?

She moves her head downwards, swaying it around sinuously. A pigeon flies suddenly, squawking hoarsely and violently flapping its wings, into her face. It continues to attack her throughout the following conversation, making sorties from its nest.

PIGEON Serpent!

ALICE I'm not a serpent. Leave me alone.

PIGEON What are you then?

ALICE I'm a little girl.

The Pigeon looks at her quizically,

PIGEON A little girl! Just look at you. You're taller than the trees.

ALICE Only for a moment.

33 PIGEON

And that neck - distinctly serpentine. You serpents are nothing but trouble., ..You're a limb of Satan.

ALICE Serpents haven't got limbs.

PIGEON Nor have you, You can't fool me. I know who you are. As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs but I must be on the lookout for serpents night and day. Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks.

ALICE I'm terribly sorry.. . .

PIGEON (Counting on its claws, and miming the movements) No you're not! Serpents are never sorry. Sly, yes. Coiling and circuitous, yes, yes. Sinuous, sigmoidal, and scaly, yes, yes, yes. Tortuous, tricky, treacherous, and tergiversatious, yes, yes, yes, yes. But never (a hiss) s. . . s... s. .. sorry!

ALICE Well, I am. 1 tell you, I'm a little girl

PIGEON Well be off then, and leave me to watch out for proper serpents.

It settles into its nest, as Nice takes alternate bites of the mushroom, ascending and descending between the trees, her neck getting nearly inextricably stuck in the branches until she reaches her proper height.

The Pigeon sighs in contentment at its restored peace. The head of the Cheshire Cat appears on the branch by its nest, eyes glittering evilly.

CHESHIRE CAT Serpents are not all I should watch out for, if I were you.

The Pigeon flies furiously at the cat which disappears chuckling.

34 23. EXT. PATH LEADING THROUGH A WOOD TO THE DUCHESS'S

HOUSE.

On the ground, Alice pauses uncertain of her next move. She hears a shattering, prolonged sneeze, and turns in its direction.

As she is about to emerge from the wood, and approach the front door of a house about four feet high, which is rocking to the sound of cataclysmic sneezes, interspersed with crockery crashes, a fish footman in livery and powdered wig, comes running out of the wood, carrying an envelope nearly as large as itseIf, and raps on the door.

It is opened by another footman also in lively and powdered wig, but with the round face and large eyes of a frog.

The fish footman hands over the envelope.

FISH FOOTMAN For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.

FROG FOOTMAN From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.

They both bow low, and their curls get entangled together.

Alice, shaking with laughter runs up to release them. But first she has to eat a piece of mushroom which reduces her size to about nine inches.

FISH FOOTMAN I am beholden to you, Miss. I take my leave.

FROG FOOTMAN He takes his leave. 1 remain. He is obliged to you. I also.

The Fish Footman EiRs his cocked hat, and sweeps Alice a bow. He then retreats bowing.

The Frog Footman sits on the ground, and stares at the sky. Alice knocks timidly on the door, making but little impression on the infernal racket coming from inside the house.

3.5 FROG FOOTMAN

There's no sort of use in knocking - and that for two reasons. Firstly because I am on the same side of the door as you are, thus making it impossible for me to admit you. And secondly there's such a discordance in there, no one could possibly hear you.

ALICE A discordance?

FROG FOOTMAN A dissonance or disharmony. A catawauling or., ,

A soup tureen comes flying out of a window of the house, and bounces off the footman's head. He takes absolutely no notice, and continues imperturbably.

FROG FOOTMAN .... or cacophony.

ALICE Please then, how am I to get in?

FROG FOOTMAN The question is are you to get in at all? I shall sit here on and off for days and days now and wait and see.

ALICE But what am I to do?

FROG FOOTMAN Anything you like.

ALICE (To herself) Oh there's no use talking to him. He's perfectly idiotic!

And she opens the door, and enters the house.

36 24. INT. DUCHESS'S KITCHEN.

The door leads right into a large kitchen fu l l of swirling smoke. The Duchess sits on a three legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby. On her right the cook is standing over the range stirring a large cauldron of soup. A pepperpot is in her left hand, and she shakes it relentlessly into the soup, and indeed over everything else including the Cheshire Cat which sits grinning at her feet. The baby sneezes and howls alternately without pause.

CHESHIRE CAT (To the Cook) Don't spare the pepper, cookie!

ALICE (Sneezing) There's far too much in that soup already.

CHESHIRE CAT Nonsense! Spare the pepper and spoil the broth, that's what I say.

It grins wickedly.

ALICE I don't know that cats know all that much about cooking.

DUCHESS This one does. It's very good on condiments. It invented catsup, and catmint sauce, and.. . .

ALICE Buy why does it grin like that?

DUCHESS It's a Cheshire Cat, that's why.

She peers closely at the baby, and shakes it violently.

DUCHESS (Cont'd) Pig!

37 ALICE

I didn't know cats could grin.

DUCHESS They all can, and most of them do.

ALICE My cat Dinah doesn't. In fact I don't know of any that do.

DUCHESS You don't know much, and that's a fact. (To the Cook) And nor do you.

The cook throws everything in reach at the Duchess and baby - fireirons, saucepans, plates and bowls. One large fying pan nearly hits the baby's face.

ALICE Oh please mind what you're doing. That nearly took his nose off.

DUCHESS If everybody minded their own business the world would go round a deal faster than it does.

ALICE Which would not be an advantage, Just think what it would do to the day and night, You see the earth takes twenty four hours to turn round on its axis.. . .

DUCHESS Talking of axes, chop off her head!

The cook throws a chopper at Alice, but misses.

ALICE Sorry. It might of course be twelve,

DUCHESS Don't bother me. I never could abide figures.

38 The Duchess starts to toss the baby up in the air, shaking it violently at the end of each line.

DUCHESS (Cont'd) Speak roughly to your little boy And beat him when he sneezes; He only does it to annoy Because he knows it teases.

COOK AND BABY wow, wow, wow!

DUCHESS I speak severely to my boy and beat him when he sneezes;

(Cont'd) For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases.

DUCHESS

ALICE Shouldn't that be: "Speak gently to the little child, It's love be sure to gain. Teach it in accents soft and mild; It may not long remain."

DUCHESS Then you nurse it for a bit! I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen ...( With a harsh laugh) And mind you speak gently to it!

She flings the baby at Alice before leaving the room. The cook hurls the cauldron of soup after her, the dripping contents wiping the scene, as Alice runs from the inferno, carrying the baby in her arms.

25. PATH OUTSIDE DUCHESS'S HOUSE.

Alice walks down the path carrying the baby.

ALICE (To herself) If I don't take this baby away they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Now lie still!,,,FI'm I suppose I'll have to knot you up a bit. I hope I don't do a granny when I mean to do a reef

She twists it up into a knot, keeping a tight hold on its right ear and left foot. The baby grunts.

ALICE (To Baby) Don't grunt - that's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself. .unless of course you're a p. , ,.

She looks closely at the baby which turns unmistakeably into a pig.

ALICE Now if you're going to turn into a pig, my dear, 1'11 have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!

She sets it down.

ALICE Now that you have trotters you can walk perfectly well for yourself,

With a copious array of oinks, squeals and grunts it rolls on its back waiting for Alice to tickle its tummy.

ALICE No. I shan't tickle your tummy. Begone!

Reluctantly the pig ambles away into the woods.

ALICE If it had grown up, it would have made a dreadhlly ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig. I think if only more of one's acquaintances were to make the decision to transform into porkers, instead of being stuck half way,. . .

Her eyes fall on the Cheshire Cat, stuck half-way in its transformation sitting on the branch ofa tree, It fills out to its proper length.

40

ALICE Cheshire puss, would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here.

CHESHIRE CAT That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

A LICE I don't much care where.

CHESHIRE CAT Then it doesn't matter which way you go.

ALICE So long as I get somewhere.

CHESHIRE CAT Oh you're sure to do that if you only walk long enough.

ALICE I suppose so, But what sort of people live about here?

CHESHIRlE CAT In that direction (he points to the right) lives a Hatter; and in that direction (he points to the left) lives a March Hare. Take your pick: they're both mad!

ALICE But I don't want to go among mad people.

CHESHIRE CAT You can't help that. We're all mad here.

ALICE How do you know I'm mad?

CHESHIRE CAT You must be or you wouldn't have come here.

41 ALICE

And you? How do you know you're mad?

CHESHIRE CAT To begin with, a dog's not mad you grant that?

ALICE I suppose so.

CHESHIRE CAT Well then, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when its pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Ergo I must be mad.

ALICE I think that's silly.

CHESHIRE CAT Just because you don't know what ergo means.

ALICE Yes I do. It means therefore. And what's more I call it purring, not growling.

CHESHIRE CAT Call it what you like! Are you playing croquet with the Queen today?

ALICE I haven't been invited.

CHESHIRE CAT You're lucky. You might lose your head.

ALICE Why on earth should I?

CHESHIRE CAT Oh everybody does.

Its head vanishes, then re-appears,

42 CHESHME CAT

See what I mean?

It then immediately starts to vanish from head to tail.

CHESHIRE CAT (Cont'd) By the bye, what happened to the bye-bye?

Alice looks puzzled, The cat makes rocking movements with its paws.

ALICE Oh the baby! It turned into a pig.

CHESHIRE CAT I thought it would ... Did you say pig or fig?

ALICE I said pig.

CHESIRE CAT Good. A fig wouldn't have done at all, now would it?

ALICE Wouldn't it?

CHESHIRE CAT Of course not. It would become absolutely valueless. I mean one doesn't care a fig for something ... if you see what I mean.

ALICE What about a pig in a poke?

CHESHIRE CAT Fiddle faddle.

Only the grin now remains.

43

I wish you would stop appearing and vanishing all the time. You make me quite giddy.

ALICE

CHESHIRE CAT Oh very well. It's just that I like to think I'm laterally mobile.

The grin fades out. Alice after a period of indecision, makes up her mind, turns to her left and walks round a bend until she conies to:

26. EXT. THE MARCH HARE'S ItZOUSE AND FRONT GARDEN

The chimneys are shaped like ears, and the roof is thatched with fur. Alice nibbles a bit of the left hand mushroom, and she grows to about two feet. Timidly she enters the garden, and approaches the house. From behind it she hears two male voices singing.

HATTER AND HARE (Singing Voice Over) Twinkle twinkle little bat How I wonder what you're at Up above the world you fly Like n tea tray in the sky Twinkle twinkle.. .

DORMOUSE (Singing sleepily Voice Over) Twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle ...

ALICE (To herself) How very peculiar, Surely it's: Twinkle twinkle little star How I wonder what you are Up above the world so high Like a diamond in the sky!

She walks round the side of the house into:

44

27. THE BACK GARDEN OF THE MARCH HARE'S HOUSE.

A long table with scores of places set for tea stretches away from us. At the far end crowded together sit the March Hare and the Hatter, and between them supporting their elbows sits a Dormouse apparently asleep.

HATTER AND HARE No room! No room!

ALICE There's plenty of room. Don't be silly.

And she sits herself down in a determined manner in an armchair near thetn.

MARCH HARE Nave some wine.

ALICE I don't see any wine.

MARCH HARE There isn't any.

ALICE Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it.

MARCH HARE It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited.

ALlCE I didn't know it was your exclusive table. It's set for a great niany more than three.

MARCH EMRE So's my alarm clock.

HATTER Your hair needs cutting.

ALICE It's very rude to make personal remarks.

4s

BATTER Why is a raven like a writing desk?

An image of a writing desk forms in the air. Out of it flies a raven.

ALICE I believe I can guess that.

MARCH H A W Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?

ALICE Exactly so.

MARCH HARE Then you should say what you mean.

ALICE I do. At least I mean what I say - and that's the same thing, you know.

HATTER It's not the same thing at all. Why, you might just as well say that I see what I eat is the same as I eat what I see.

MARCH HARE You might just as well say that I like what I get is the same thing as I get what I like.

DORMOUSE (Sleepily) You might just as well say that I breathe when I sleep is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe.

HATTER Lth the same thing with you.

And he gives the Dormouse a pinch.

DORMOUSE You might just as well say I'm pinched when I sleep is the same thing as I sleep when I'm pinched.

The Hatter takes out his watch, and consults it.

HATTER (To Alice) By the bye what day of the month is it?

ALICE The fourth.

HATTER (Angrily to March Hare) Two days wrong, I told you butter wouldn't suit the works.

MARCH HARE It was the best butter.

HATTER Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife.

The March Hare takes the watch and dips it into his tea.

HATTER The Dormouse is asleep again.

The March Hare drops the watch on the Dormouse's nose.

He awakes with a start.

DORMOUSE Of course, of course: just what I was going to remark myself

47 HATTER

(To Alice) Have you guessed the riddle yet?

ALICE I thought it might be because it slopes with a flap.

The Dormouse starts giggling and clapping its paws.

DORMOUSE Very good. Very good.

HATTER (Annoyed) Shut up! It's no good at all!

And he pours tea on the Dormouse's head to dampen its enthusiasm,

ALICE (Crossly) Well what's the answer, then?

HATTER I haven't the slightest idea.,

MARCH HARE Nor I.

ALICE (Irritated) I think you might do something better with the time than wasting it asking riddles that have no answers.

HATTER If you knew Time as well as I do, you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's Him.

ALICE (Exasperated) I don't know what you can possibly mean.

HATTER Of course you don't. I dare say you've never even spoken to Time.

ALICE Perhaps not, but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.

HATTER Ah! That accounts for it. He won't stand beating. Nor keeping for that matter. I tried to keep Time once but he couldn't endure it. And nor could the Queen at whose concert I was singing. He wanted to be off and running. Ever since then he won't do a thing I ask. It's always five o'clock now.

ALICE Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here?

HATTER Yes, that's it. It's always tea time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.

ALICE Then you must keep moving round I suppose?

HATTER Exactly so - as the things get used up.

ALICE But what happens when you come round to the beginning again?

MARCH HARE Suppose we change the subject. I'ni getting tired of this.

HATTER I'm not. I think we should move on directly. (Glaring at Alice) Someone has upset the milk jug into my plate.

ALICE I don't know why you're looking at me. I was nowhere near your., .

49 The Hatter rises abruptly and moves up a place. He pulls the sleeping Dormouse af'ter him into his vacated place. The March Hare moves into the Dormouse's place. The Dormouse's head now rests in the milk in the Hatter's old plate.

DOlZMQUSE I think we should move again.

And he crawls off dripping to the next seat down the table past the Hatter. This necesitates the Hatter and March Hare also moving a place each.

MARCH HARE (To Alice) Come on. You've got to join in, you know.

Alice rises from her armchair, and sits next to the Dormouse.

MARCH HARE Not that side. Next to me.

Alice now gets the plate of milk.

ALICE That's not fair!

As soon a3 she is seated the March Hare moves next to the Dormouse.

HATTER It was my idea in the first place.

And he moves again. A sort of Paul Jones now starts with the participants changing places with bewildering speed.

HATTER Stop! ... I vote the young lady tells us a story.

ALICE I'm afraid I don't know one.

SO HATTER AND MARCII l tARE

Then the Dormouse shall. Wake up, Dormouse!

They pinch it on both sides at once.

DORMOUSE I wasn't asleep. I heard every word you fellows were saying.

MARCH HARE Then what were we saying?

DORMOUSE Something about the young lady telling us a story.

HATTER No, no, no. It's to be you! And be quick about it, or you'll be asleep again before it's done.

DORMOUSE Once upon a time there were three little sisters and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie, and they lived at the bottom of a well.

28. INT. TREACLE WELL.

Three little girls stand at the bottom ofa huge, sinister, cavernous, fbnnel dripping with molasses. They are spooning treacle off the walls and eating it.

ALICE (Voice Over) What did they live on?

DORMOUSE (V.O.) They lived on treacle.

ALICE (V.O.) They couldn't have done that, you know. They'd have been ill.

DORNOUSE (V.O.) So they were. Very ill.

The little girls roll about moaning and clutching their stomachs.

ALICE (V.O.) And why did they live down there?

MARCH HARE (V.O.) Take some more tea.

ALICE (V.O.) I've had nothing yet, so I can't take more.

HATTER (V.O.) You mean you can't take less. It's very easy to take more than nothing.

ALICE (V.O.) Nobody asked your opinion .... But I really want to know, so please tell me. Why did they live at the bottom of a well?

DORMOUSE (V.O.) It was a treacle well.

ALICE (V.O.) There's no such thing.

The well and its occupants vanish, to be replaced by:

29. THE GARDEN OF THE MARCH HARE

Alice, the Matter, the Dormouse, and the March Hare are sitting at the table. The Dormouse wears a very wintry expression.

DORMOUSE If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.

ALICE (Humbly) No please go on. I won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one.

52 DORMOUSE

(Indignantly) One indeed!

And he draws himself up and turns his back on Alice.

ALICE Please.. . .

DORMOUSE Oh, very well ... And so these three little sisters - they were learning to draw, you know.

ALICE What did they draw?

DORMOUSE I thought you weren't going to interrupt.

Alice looks suitably abashed.

DORMOUSE They were learning to draw treacle.

30. INT. TREACLE WELL.

The three little girls are now using a bucket on the end of a rope with a great number of complicated ratchets attached to it to draw up treacle from the bottom of the well.

ALICE (VO) But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?

HATTER (VO) You can draw water from a water well, so I should think you could draw treacle from a treacle well.

ALICE (VO) But they were the well.

DORMOUSE (VO) Of course they were, WeIl in!. ,..

53

CUT BACK TO:

31. THE GARDEN OF THE MARCH HARE

Alice, the Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse are as before at the table.

DORMOUSE (Cont'd) ... They were learning to draw, and they drew all manner of things - everything that begins with an M.

ALICE Why with an M?

MARCH HARE Why not?

DORMOUSE Such as mousetraps, and the moon, and mugwumps, and muezzin, and mumer, and muffin, and moustache, and morris dancing, and morse, and martello, and monster, and monsoon, and montenegro, and moorish, and mongoose, and minotaur, and miscellaneous,and miser, and minuet, and millepede, and miminy-piminy, and millpond and minim, and mermaid, and merlin, and merovingian, and metamorphosis, and melancholia, and megaphone, and meerschaum, and maze, and mayoress, and maundy money, and marzipan, and marquee, and mandarin and major domo, and macaroni, and mussulman, and mumbo- jumbo, and mulligatawnay and mummy, and much of a muchness.

These, of course, are au choix at the animator's discretion, but hopehlly they are reasonably Carrollian. Most of the images could be introduced into the many empty places on the table, ending up with multiple replicas on the words "much of a muchness".

ALICE I don't think I ever saw such a thing as a drawing of a muchness. Wouldn't March Hare be better?

54

MARCH HARE Now who's making personal remarks.

And it turns its back on her.

ALICE Oh you're all impossible!

She gets up and walks OK We go with her, looking back once to see the Hatter and the March Hare trying to put the comatose Dormouse into the teapot.

ALICE At any rate I'll never go there again. It was the stupidest tea party I was ever at in all my life!

32. PATH LEADING AWAY FROM THE MARCH HARE'S HOUSE

Alice walking determinedly through the woods, sees a tree with a door in it and enters. She finds herself in:

33. THE HALL WITH THE GLASS TABLE.

ALICE Now, I'll manage better this time.

She takes the golden key and unlocks the little door leading to the garden. She then nibbles the mushroom until she is about a foot high and then she runs down:

34. THE PASSAGE LEADING TO THE GARDEN.

From whence she bursts into:

35, THE GARDEN.

Here she stands lost in ecstasy at all the glorious flowers, and swooping songbirds, and cool splashing fountains. She has reached her nirvana, At last!

A large rose tree stands near the entrance, covered in white roses. Three "playing card" gardeners are busy painting them red. They are the 7, 5 , and 2 of Spades.

ALICE Would you tell me, please, why you are painting those roses?

TWO (Cockney) Well the fact is yer see, Miss, this 'ere ought ter a bin a red rose tree, and we gorn and put a white one in by mistake, didn't we? Actually it were 5's fault reely ...

FIVE (A high pitched whine) No it weren't. I distinctly told that stupid 7 to get a red one, but 'e never listens. Old cloth ears I calls him.,.,,

SEVEN (Lugubrious Voice) Nah that ain't fair, Miss. I knows the difference between red and white. And what's more, if we don't finish this 'ere job in an 'wry before the Queen comes, we'll all lave our 'eads cut orf.

And he starts to paint the flowers like mad, followed by the others.

Their movements - exchanging places could be like a shuffled pack, or they could stand on each other's shoulders resembling a game of patience, or the Barnum and Bailey Human Pyramid, teetering and staggering about.

Five, who is on top sees the Queen's procession approaching, across the garden

FIVE The Queen! The Queen!

And like tumblers, they throw themselves flat on the ground like a collapsible ladder.

We hear the martial music, and rythmic tramp of many feet, and Alice turns to view the procession.

First come Ten Club "playing card'' soldiers marching two and two, and playing trumpets and other brass instruments, Next come Ten Diamond "playing card" courtiers also marching two and two. After them come the royal children decorated with hearts and jumping along out of time with the music. Next come the guests:

56 Kings and Queens, the White Rabbit, still nervously consulting its watch, the March Hare and the Hatter swinging the sleeping Dormouse between them, the Duchess the pighaby and the cook who hurls pepper at the crowd from her pepper pot as she marches, the caterpillar still smoking its hookah and forming musical notes in the air with the smoke, the Dodo, the Lizard, the Owl, the Pelican, the Lory, the Monkey, the Mouse, the Magpie, and the Crab Mother and Daughter. Lastly amongst the guests creeps the Cheshire Cat appearing and disappearing in time to the music, And behind it is the Executioner, a single club card, masked and carrying an axe. At the very rear of the procession come the Knave of Hearts carrying the King's crowti on a crimson velvet cushion, and finally, the King and Queen of Hearts,

ALICE (To herself, looking at the 3 gardeners) Perhaps I too should lie down on my face, but what would be the use of a procession if people had all to lie down on their faces so that they couldn't see it.

When the Queen is abreast of Alice she stops and stamps her foot.

QUEEN Stop!

The procession stops and she peers closely at Alice.

QUEEN (To Knave of Hearts) Who is this?

KNAVE A young female party, mama.

QUEEN Idiot! (To Alice) What's your name, child?

ALICE My name is Alice so it pleases your majesty. (Thought Voice) Why they're only a pack of cards after all. I needn't be afraid of them.

The Queen stares now at the prostrate gardeners.

57 QUEEN

And who are these?

ALICE (Brusquely) How should I know? It’s no business of mine.

The Queen turns bright purple.

QUEEN Of all the impertinence. Off with her head!

ALICE Stuff and nonsense!

QUEEN What! What! What!

ALICE I said stuff and nonsense!

The Queen turns angrily away to face the gardeners,

QUEEN (To Knave) Turn them over!

The Knave turns them over with his foot.

QUEEN (With a shriek) Get up!

The three gardeners jump up and instantly start bowing to the whole royal family in a frenzy of grovelling.

QUEEN (A Scream) Leave off that! You make me giddy

She sees the partly painted rose tree.

QUEEN What have you been doing here!?

58

Two goes down on one knee.

TWO (Gradiosely) May it please your Majesty, we was tryin to produce a new shade of rose. Not the vulgarity of the deep, ruddy red, nor the blanched, faint 'earted weediness of the white, but, as yer might put it,a subtle, refined, baby blush - er what shall I say ....

QUEEN Pink! I hate pink! It's neither one thing nor the other. Off with their heads! !

The procession moves on, the Executioner remaining behind to execute the gardeners. They run to Alice for protection.

ALICE You shan't be beheaded. It's too silly, just for painting roses.

She quickly pushes them up her sleeve. The Executioner looks about him, but cannot find them.

EXECUTIONER It's my opinion as wot yer can't h'execute people as wot ain't 'ere, nah, can yer?

And he runs off after the others.

Alice shakes her sleeve, and the three cards slide, one by one, down the inside of her arm into her hand, like an experienced card sharp, She sets them on the ground again, and runs off after the procession.

As the Executioner catches up with the procession, the Queen addresses him loudly.

QUEEN Well, are their heads of f l

EXECUTIONER Their heads are gone, your Majesty.

QUEEN Good. (Shouting to Alice) Can you play croquet?

ALICE (Shouting back) Yes.

QUEEN Come on, then. Let's see if you're any good.

The band strikes up, and Alicejoins the procession, and it marches off into the distance with Alice trying and failing to get in step.

36. THE CROQUET GROUND

The croquet ground is a strange rhomboid of ridges and hrrows. The playing card soldiers are bent over to form the hoops by standing on their hands and feet.

The Queen steps forward watched by the members of the procession, grouped round the ground, all now armed with flamingos for mallets and hedgehogs for balls.

The Queen whacks her hedgehog with the head of her flamingo, and it goes through half a dozen hoops, the soldiers moving accomodatingly to put themselves into the path of the wildly zigzagging hedgehog, some flipping over backwards to achieve their purpose.

Then all the players join in thumping their hedgehogs in every direction, which manoeuverings shortly make even less sense, as the soldier hoops straighten up, and wander away to form a closely knit alley for the Queen to knock her hedgehog through. M e r which she runs round the ground screaming at everyone.

QUEEN Off with his head! ..., Off with her head!

Alice has difficulty even starting, since having tucked her flamingo's body under her arm, and got its neck straightened out to give her hedgehog a blow with its head, it twists itself round, and looks up into her face with a greatly puzzled expression which makes her burst out laughing,

She at last unravels the creature's neck, and is about to swing at her hedgehog, when it unrolls itself and crawls away.

ALICE (To Hedgehog) Come back! I haven't hit you yet.

FLAMINGO I much prefer it this way. The prickles don't get in my head.

HEDGEHOG And so do I. I'm the one who's going to be hit.

The Queen rushes by, stopping briefly to shout at Alice.

QUEEN Alice! You haven't even started yet!

ALICE I'm sorry, your Majesty, my croquet ball keeps crawling away.

QUEEN Off with its head. Use him instead.

And she seizes the White Rabbit who is standing nearby, and rolls him up into a ball, and puts him down for Alice to hit.

Alice draws back her flamingo to strike.

WHITE RABBIT I wouldn't do that if I were you, Mary Ann.

ALICE I'm not Mary Ann, you stupid creature. I'm Alice.

And she whacks the White Rabbit out of sight with her flamingo. The Queen rushes after it shouting left and right "OfFwith his head!'' "Off with her head!"

ALICE (To herself) They're SO dreadhlly fond of beheading people here: the great wonder is there is anyone left alive! I'd have thought they'd all have disappeared by now.

The grinning mouth of the Cheshire Cat appears in the sky.

GI

CHESHIRE CAT Yes, but they re-appear again, as you see,my dear. How are you enjoying the croquet?

The rest of the cat's head appears,

ALICE Not very much. They don't seem to have any rules - and you've no idea how conhsing it is, all the things - mallets, balls and hoops, being alive. For instance there's the hoop I've got to go through, walking about at the other end of the ground, arm in arm with my new ball ....

We see a soldier-card and the White Rabbit promenading in animated conversation far away across the croquet ground. Alice vexatiously sets her flamingo down on the ground. It stalks away and tries unsuccessfiilly to fly up into a tree.

ALICE And now I haven't even got a mallet.

CHESHIRE CAT (Maliciously Sotto Voce) Don't let it upset you. It's all designed so that the Queen can win it. Her ball doesn't run away you notice, nor her mallet, nor for that matter her hoops. On the contrary they bend over backwards to accornodate her.

And it laughs nastily.

ALICE Well, I think it very unfair,

The King strolls by, and stares curiously up at the Cheshire Cat.

KING Who are you talking to7

ALICE It's a Cheshire Cat, your Majesty. Or at least part of it. May I present what's here?

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I don't like the look of it at all, don't ye know. However, it may kiss my hand.

KING

CHESHlRE CAT I'd rather not. We're not great hand kissers, we Cheshire Cats.

KING Don't be impertinent; you disrespecthl Cheshire chappie!

ALICE A cat may look at a king. I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where,

The Queen passes by.

KTNG (Flustered) Be that as it may, that cat must be removed, (To the Queen) don't you agree, my dear?

QUEEN No question of it. Off with his head!

The King spies the Executioner nearby.

KING Here you, Executioner chappie, come here. I wish you to chop off that impertinent pussy's noddle, d'ye hear me?

EXECUTIONER It's my h'opinion as wot yer can't cut orf a 'ead unless there is a body to cut it orforf. H'ive never been arsked to do nothink like it afore, and I aint goin to begin at my time of life.

KING Look here, don't talk nonsense. Anything that has a head can be I beheaded. It stands to reason, Executioner chappie.

63 QUEEN

Never mind reason. If something isn't done about it in less than no time, I'll have everybody executed all round. That's what they call a general head of agreement, I believe. (She laughs briefly) ... Now, who owns the beastly thing?

CHESHIRE CAT (With great arrogance) No one owns me. I'm the Cheshire Cat that walks by itself.

QUEEN You'll be walking with your head tucked underneath your paw, if you're not very careful. Send for the Duchess.

The Executioner nips off to find the Duchess in the throng who are still hitting hedgehogs in all directions, and getting their flamingo's necks inextricably caught up with others.

EXECUTIONER Duchess!.. .Duchess! The Queen wants yer pronto!

He finds the Duchess addressing a hedgehog with a flamingo. It uncurls as she is about to strike. The Cook peppers its nose. It sneezes violently, and hastily recoils into itself She smites it lustily.

EXECUTXONER Didn't cha hear me? The Queen wants yer pronto.

DUCHESS Wants-yer-pronto. What can that mean? You must learn to punctuate, dear boy.

EXECUTIONER (Slowly spelling it out) I said the Queen wants yer pronto. That is ter say h'instantaneous-like,

DUCHESS Oh I see, Well the moral of that is Punctuation is the thief of time.

And she follows the Executioner at a trot towards the Queen.

64 EXECUTIONER

Well yer finally got the sense of what I were sayin, Duchess.

DUCHESS T'is so. And the moral of that is Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.

They reach the Queen, and the Duchess executes a flamboyant curtsey.

DUCHESS A fine day, your Majesty!

QUEEN A fine day for beheading, Duchess!

Ducmss (Pursing up her mouth placatingly) Oh not that fine surely

QUEEN Now I'm giving you fair warning - either that cat's head or be off - and that in about half no time.

'ours must

CHESHIRE CAT If I was your Majesty l'd take the Duchess's head off for her, rather than mine. I can take my own head off for myself

And the head disappears.

QUEEN (To Duchess) What a clever puss! I think I'll take his advice. In the meantime you'd better take yourself off

The Duchess hastily retreats, curtseying backwards until she's out of sight.

QUEEN (To Alice) And you! You're obviously useless at croquet, so you'd better do something else, Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?

ALICE No, your Majesty. I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.

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QUEEN It's what Mock Turtle soup is made from.

Alice looks her question.

QUEEN (Cont'd) When they don't want to use real turtles, they use mock ones.

ALICE If I was any sort of turtle I don't think I'd like to be made soup of particularly.

QUEEN Why not? We all love it, It's only selfish not to want to be loved, isn't it?

ALICE I suppose so. But as I say, as far as Mock Turtles are concerned, I never saw one, nor heard of one.

QUEEN Come on then, and he shall tell you his story.

The Queen leads the way from the croquet ground,

37. SANDUNES

Alice and the Queen round a large sand dune, and come across the Gryphon, a fabulous monster with the head and wings of an eagle, and the lower body of a lion. The Queen prods it with her heart shaped sceptre.

QUEEN Get up, you lazy gryphon, and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history.

66 The Gryphon slowly unfolds with a gargantuan yawn and rubs its eyes with its monstrous talons. It then flaps its wings in a giant stretch, and lumbers to its feet, before sweeping the Queen a courtly bow.

GRYPHON (Irish accent) The top of the day to your Majesty

QUEEN Top? That reminds me I must go back and see after some executions I have ordered.

ALICE Wouldn't it be nicer to let them all of€?

QUEEN Let them all om? That wouldn't do at all! And there's another thing. I have to see to some tarts I baked earlier, and left to cool. If I'm not very careful that rascally knave will have stolen off with them.

And she bustles away, watched by the chortling Gryphon.

ALICE What are you laughing at?

GRYPHON At herself to be sure. It's all her fancy that: they never execute nobody you know. Come on, if ye must.

And it lumbers off, followed by Alice, in the direction of some shattering sobs, and sighs.

38. THE SEA SHORE

The source of these sobs is the Mock Turtle standing on a ledge of rock, his back to the sea. They walk towards it,

ALICE What is his sorrow?

GRYPHON It's all his fancy that too: he hasn't got no sorrow at all at all!

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Slowly the Mock Turtle turns its tear stained face towards them.

GRYPHON This here young lady she wants for to know your history, so she does.

MOCK TURTLE Very wise of her, so I'll tell it. Sit down both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.

MOCK TURTLE Once I was a real turtle.

He starts to cry piteously again.

ALICE Please go on.

MOCK TURTLE When we were little we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle - we used to call him Tortoise.

ALICE Why did you call him Tortoise if he wasn't one.?

MOCK TURTLE We called him Tortoise because he taught us! Really you are very dull!

GRYPHON You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question, SO you should, (To Mock Turtle) Drive on boyo. Don't be all day about it now.

MOCK TURTLE We learnt Reeling and Writhing to begin with and then the different branches of Arithmetic-Ambition, Distraction, Uglification and Derision.

ALICE I didn't know those were different branches of Arithmetic.

MOCK TURTLE Then you are a simpleton.

ALICE I'm sorry, I must be. What else had you to learn?

MOCK TURTLE Well there was Mystery ancient and modern, with Seaography : then Drawling - the Drawling master was an old conger eel that used to come once a week. He used to teach us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.

ALICE What was that like?

The Mock Turtle does a clumsy faint.

MOCK TURTLE I can't really do it properly now. I'm too stiE And the Gryphon never learnt it.

GRYPHON I hadn't the time. I went to the Classical master though. He was an old crab he was to be sure.

MOCK TURTLE He taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.

GRYPHON So he did, begorrah. So he did!

And he yawns again mightily.

ALICE How many hours a day did you do lessons?

MOCK TURTLE Ten hours the first day, Nine the next and so on.

ALICE What a curious plan.

MOCK TURTLE That's the reason they're called lessons. Because they lessen from day to day.

ALICE Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday.

MOCK TURTLE Of course it was, dunce!

ALICE And how did you manage on the twelfth?

GRYPHON That's enough about lessons. Tell her something about the games now.

The Mock Turtle breaks into a storm of weeping and hides its eyes behind a flipper. The Gryphon shakes him vigorously, and punches him on the back.

GRYPHON Come on now, me old feller. It can't be that bad. To be sure it's only a case of the lamentations.

The Mock Turtle pulls itself together with a final gigantic sigh.

MOCK TURTLE (To Alice) You may not have lived much under the sea.. ..

ALICE I haven't at all.

MOCK TURTLE And perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster.

ALICE I once tasted .,...( I-Iurriedly) No never!

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MOCK TURTLE So you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is

ALICE Is it a dance, then?

During the next exchange the Mock Turtle and the Gryphon circle Alice, getting more and more animated, and finally capering about in a frenzy.

GRYPHON Of course it is, eejit. You first form into a line along the sea shore ...

MOCK TURTLE Two lines! Seals, turtles, salmon and so on. Then you advance twice ....

GRYPHON Each with a lobster as a partner.

MOCK TURTLE Of course. Advance twice, set to partners.. .

GRYPHON ... Change lobsters and retire in same order.

MOCK TURTLE ... Then you know, you throw the ....

GRYPHON ... Lobsters,, .

MOCK TURTLE As far out to sea as you ...

GRYPHON ... Can - swim after them . . .

MOCK TURTLE ... Turn a somersault in the sea ...

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GRYPHON Change Lobsters again.. ..

MOCK TURTLE ... Back to land again - and that's all the first figure.

They sink down momentarily exhausted.

ALICE It must be a very pretty dance.

MOCK TURTLE Would you like to see a little of it'?

ALICE Very much indeed.

MOCK TURTLE But first you must do something I sing a song or recite a poem.

GRYPHON Something jolly.

Alice adopts a reciting posture, hands clasped, feet turned out.

ALICE (Reciting) I passed by his garden, and marked with one eye How the Owl and Oyster were sharing a pie. While the Duck and the Dodo, the Lizard and Cat Were swimming in milk round the brim af a hat.

As she recites we see the Owl and Oyster appear at her feet with the pie between them, to be replaced by a Duck, Dodo, Lizard and Cat all swimming furiously round the brim of a large fedora.

These images abruptly cease, and fade away as we hear the grutnpy voice of the Mock Turtle.

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OCK TURTLE No, no, no, no, no! That’s all wrong. It’s a panther, not an oyster.

The pie, Owl and Oyster reappear. ‘The Oyster is replaced by a Panther. The action follows the poem closely, ending with the Panther gulping down the O w l .

MOCK TURTLE (VO) 1 passed by his garden and marked with an eye How the owl and the panther were sharing a pie The panther took pie-crust and gravy and meat While the owl had the dish as its share of the treat When the pic was all finished, the owl as a boon Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon! While the panther received knife and fork with a growl And concluded the banquet by -

GRYPHON (VO) (Sonorously) ... eating the owl! (Burps) Beg pardon!

ALICE Ugh! I don’t think that’s very jolly

MOCK TURTLE Then I will sing you Turtle Soup. It’s quite the jolliest thing you’ve ever heard.

With renewed tcars streaming down its face, the Mock Turtle starts to sing plaintively, accompanying himself on a mandolin.

MOCK TURTLE (Singing) Beautiful soup so rich and green Waiting in a hot tureen. Who for such dainties would not stoop?

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Soup of the evening, beautiful soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful soup!

Beau--0otiful Soo--oop beau--ootiful Soo-oop Soo-oop at the evening Beautiful, beautiful soup!

Beautiful soup! Who cares far fish, Game, or any other dish? Who cvould not give all else for two p pennyworth only of ReautiFul Soup? Beau--ootiful 300--oop beau--ootiful Soo-oop Soo-oop at the e-e-vening Beautiful, beautif-ful SOUP!

GRYPHON Chorus again!

MOCK TURTLE (Singing)

Beau--oo tiful Soo--001) beau--ootiful Soo-oop ...

ALICE And that of course precedes the Lobster Quadrille?

MOCK TURTLE Of course. I was just starting to tell you about it. (To Gryphon) Come let’s try the first figure. We could do it without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?

GRYPHON Oh you sing. I’ve forgotten the words.

They begin to move solemnly round Alice, waving their forepaws to mark the time. The Music we hear is Le Paxitalon the traditional music for the Quadrille.

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MOCK TURTLE (Si n gi ng) Will you walk a little faster said a whiting to a snail, There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtjes all aclvance! They are waiting on the shingle - will you come and join the dance? Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance? Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?

At the end of the first stanza, out of the sea come seals, turtles, salmon, whiting, snails and lobsters. The music of Le Pantalon swells, and the Quadrille proper begins with the Mock Turtle and Gryphon throwing the Lobsters out to sea, following them, turning somersaults, and returning to the shore to pick up Ihe dance. This is intercut with shots illustrating the song - the reluctant, cringing snail, and the irnportunirig whiting trying to drag i t into the dance.

MOCK TURTLE (Singing)

You can really have When they take us up and tlirotv us, with the lobsters out to sea! But the snail replied, “Too far, too far!” and gave a look askance- Said he thanks the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

notion how delightful it will be

“What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied “There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer is to France - Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

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Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you jo in the dance? Will you, won’t you, will you, won‘t you, won‘t you join the dance?

The Mock Turtle and the Gryphon sit down to recover their breath, while the lobsters and other creatures retreat back to the sea in a sort of conga line.

ALICE Thank you.

Alice walks off clown the beach, turns inland, and conies to a wall. Sitting on the top of it is Humpty Dumpty.

I ~ J M P T Y ourwry Good day, young miss. Would you like me to recite some poetry?

ALICE Well, perhaps not now,

HUNPTY DUMPTY Why not now? You may not be here later.

He draws himself up.

IIUMPTY DUMPTI7 In winter when the fields are white 1 sing this song for your delight. ... Only I don’t actually sing it.

ALICE I see you don‘t.

WUMPTY DUMPTY I f you can sec whether I’m singing or not, your eyes must be sharper than most.

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ALICE Well X certainly can’t see any white fields, or indeed any snow at all.

Humpty Dumpty makes a magical pass with one of his huge hands and snow falls out of the sky. Alice runs off into the blizzard and is soon lost to view.

39, EXT. GARDEN LAWN. DAY.

This scene is shot to suggest it’s a dream with unnatural perspectives, elongations and foreshortenings. The lawn has been marked out like a chess board in the snow. Close diagonal lines indicate the black squares. On it stand eight little girls, incliiding the Liddell children in the configuration of the chess game as illustrated by Carroll at the start of “Looking Glass”. Alice is the White Queen, Lorina the Red King, and Edith the White Knight. All the children are dressed as chess pieces.

Charles Dodgson, is playing the Reverend Duckworth (30) at chess using the children as pieces. Dodgson is Whitc, Duckworth Red, and they stand at opposite ends of the “board”,

D0I)GSON My move I think. Tertia, the White Knight moves to Knight 3.

Edith walks in the wrong direction - towards Duckworth.

DODGSON No. No. No. No. One forward. One to your left.

EDITH I’m sorry, Mr Dodgson. I’m cold.

DODGSON Then if you hurry up, I promise you it‘ll soon be over.

DUCKWOKTH Nonsense! You haven’t nearly got me yet.

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Edith does as instructed, momentarily confusing her left and right.

Good. (To Duckworth) Check I think!

DUCKWORT Looks like it. Lorina, we’d better move you out of check. Go to K 4 - one square towards me.

She does as instructed. Dodgson, smiles, and gleefully hops about.

DODGSON Ha! You won’t escape that way, Robinson. Alice please move to Q B 5. Just in front of the White King.

ALICE I’m cold too, Mr Dodgson.

DODGSON Then hurry!

AIice does as directed, running.

DODGSON Check

DUCKWORTH I’m afraid there’s only one square you can move to, Lorina. K3. One square towards me.

She makes the move.

Dodgson leaps clumsily in the air.

DODGSON Alice, please move to Q 6. On the White King’s left.

She does so.

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DODGSON And check mate!

The white “taken” chess pieces on the sidelines all applaud.

DUCKWORTH I’m afraid, Lorina he’s been too good for us.

ALICE Well played, Mr Dodgson. I must go in now and give Dinah her saucer of milk.

She takes off her crown, and other White Queenly appurtenances, and runs across the lawn and into the house.

40. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DAY. LIVE ACTION.

This scene is also to be shot “dreamlike” like the previous one.

Alice enters the room holding two saucers of milk. Her eyes widen in disbelief at what she sees.

A PANNlNG SHOT ROUND the fussy Victorian drawing room shows us the chaos that has been caused by a small black and brown, striped kitten - a miniature version of the Cheshire Cat. It has unravelled a ball of wool, and spread it right round the room, winding it round sofas, armchairs, escritoires, gas lamps, footstools, flowers under glass, bell pulls etc etc. It sits now on the mantlepiece grinning from ear to ear obviously delighted with its handiwork.

Its mother, Dinah sits uncaring in the midst of the mess serenely washing the face of a white kitten which she is holding down with one paw.

ALICE Gracious! What a mess! (To the striped kitten) Kitty, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You wicked, wicked little thing! (To the mother cat) and so should you, Dinah. You should have

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ALICE (Cont’d) taught her to behave better. Just for this there’ll be no milk for either of you. You can both go to sleep without your supper.

And she puts the saucers on a side table, and crosses to the mantlepiece to glare at the offending kitten, which rolls over on its back to be tickled.

ALICE No! No tickling today.

‘The kitten hides its head.

ALICE And no sulking either. Look how ugly it makes you ....

And she holds the kitten up to the huge mirror above the fireplace.

ALICE (Cont’d) .... and if you’re not good directly, 1’11 put you through into Looking Glass House. How would you like that?

The kitten struggles and niiaows.

ALICE (Cont’d) Now, if you’ll only attend, Kitty, and not talk so much, I’ll tell you all my ideas about Looking Glass House. First there’s the room you can see through the glass - that’s just the same as our drawing room, only the things go the other way.

Alice puts the kitten down and moves a chair towards tlie fireplace.

ALIClF (Cont’d) 1 can see all of it when I get upon a chair - all but the bit just behind the fireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could see that bit! I want so much to know whether they’ve n fire in the winter: you can never tell you know, uiiless our fire smokes, and then smoke

80

comes up in that rooni too - but that may be only a pretence just to make it look as if they had a fire.

She gives the fire a good poke, and smoke rises in the mirror as the camera moves in to a CU of it targeting the passage.

ALICE (VO) Now we come to the passage. You can ,just see a little peep of the passage in Looking Glass Mouse if you leave the door of our drawing room wide open: and it’s very like our passage as far as you can see, only you know it may be quite different on beyond. Oh, Kitty, how nice i t would be if we could only get through into Looking Glass Mouse! I’m sure it’s got the strangest things in it.

The CAMERA starts to PAN OVER the reflection, which starts to soften as Alice speaks.

ALICE Let’s pretend there’s a way of getting through into i t somehow, Kitty. Let’s pretend the glass has got all soft like gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it’s turning into a sort of mist now, I declare. It‘ll be easy enough to get through ...

WE CUT BACK to a MS of Alice kneeling on the mantlepiece passing through the mirror.

MIXTO:

41. ANIMATION TENNIEL DRQWINGS. INT, LOOKING GLASS HOUSE, DRAWING ROOM. DAY.

Alice, now an animated character steps through into the Looking Glass Drawing Room via thc mantlepiece. Again the angle is the same MS a5 the Tenniel drawing, showing the clock’s reverse, now a clown, and the flowers under glass, reversed positionally. The face on the clock’s reverse winks at her.

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She jumps to the floor landing in the hearth. Her attention is caught by a number of chess pieces, Kings and Queens, Bishops and Castles and Knights walking about two and two, or sitting on the fire irons.

ALICE (Thought Voice) What are they doing moving about two by two? ... Of course, they are mirror images of each other! (To chess pieces) flello ... Efello ,....They don’t seem to be able to hear me, or see me for that matter.

She turns to the table behirid her to see a white pawn lying on its back kicking and squealing.

WHITE QUEEN It’s the voice of my child! I must go to my precious Lily! Out of the way! I’m coming, my imperial kitten.

And she jumps down from the shovel, knocking the King off as well so that lie lands in the ashes, She then starts to scramble up the fender. The King starts to brush himself down, and rub his nose, hurt in the fall.

KING (Grumpily) Imperial fiddle sticks!

Alice picks up the White Queen, and places her on the table next to her daughter.

Thc Queen gasps with astonishment, and hugs her child. She theti calls down to the King in the hearth.

WHITE QUEEN (Calling) Mind the volcano!

WHITE KING What deuced volcano?

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ITE QUEEN Blew me up. Mind you come up the regular way - don’t get blown up.

The White King starts to struggle up the fender from bar to bar.

ALICE You’ll be hours at that. I’d far better help you, hadn’t I?

As the King doesn’t hear or see her, Alice picks him up, and transports him slowly to the table top. On the way she dusts him off with her other hand. The King’s mouth and eyes open wide in astonishment.

WHITE KING Oh, oh, oh! It’s the volcano!

WHITE QUEEN You know, my dear, that’s quite a good start for a poem.

WHITE KING Poem?! I turned cold to the very end of my whiskers.

And he collapses dramatically on the table top, briefly turning into a snowman.

WHITE QUEEN You haven’t got any whiskers. Snowmen don’t, you know.

WHITE KING 1 suppose not.

And he turns back into his normal seJf.

WHITE KING But the horror of that moment I shall never forget.

WHITE QUEEN You will if you don’t make a note of it.

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The King starts to write in a huge notebook. In the fireplace the White Knight is sliding down the poker. He balances very badly. Alice grips the pencil from behind, and writes in his book.

WHITE KING I don’t know what this is all about. I didn’t mean to write “the White Knight is sliding down the poker, He balances very badly”. I wanted to write about the volcano.

As WE MOVE TO AN ECU of the writing in the notebook, the Knight falls of€ the poker with a monumental crash.

WHITE QUEEN Well I daresay the White Knight will do as well, if not better. On the whole people prefer White Knights to volcanoes.

WHITE KING What sort of people?

WHXTE QUEEN All sorts of people. Damsels in distress, chiefly.

Alice picks up a book on the table, and stares at the first verse of the Jabberwock reversed.

ALICE It’s in a language I don’t understand. How vexing! ....

Alice is struck with a thought.

ALICE: Of course! It’s a looking-glass book. And if I hold it up to the glass the words will go the right way again.

She suits the action to the ward, climbing on a chair to do so, and reads what she sees in the mirror over the fireplace.

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ALICE “‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and giwble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe .... What utter piffle. It doesn‘t mean a thing.

WHITE QUEEN Oh yes, i t does, but you’ve got to know what the words mean,

ALICE And do you?

WHITE QUEEN Of course I do. It’s all about badgers - so far, that is. Naw, of coiirsc, we are about to meet the fearsome Jabberwock. “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!”

WHITE KING He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought - So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought.

WE CUT BACK to A1ice.s POV in the mirror. The Queen now recites the fourth verse.

WHITE QUEEN And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!

On the words “The Jabberwock with eyes of flame” etc, the Jabberwock, with thrashing tail, and fearsome ciaws erect bursts out of the gloom of the mirror towards us, breathing fire and gnashing its teeth.

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WHITEKING One, two! One two! And through and through

,The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.

Suiting his actions to the words, the “beamish boy“ beheads i t with a long sword after ii titanic struggle as described in the previous verse. Alice watches terrified.

WHITE QUEEN “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my bcamish boy! Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” He chortles in his joy.”

WHITE KINGNVHITE QUEEN (Together) “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All miinsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

ALICE I think 1’11 take a look at the garden. It must be safer than here. The Jabberwock might have a mate.

And she dim bs down from the mirror, and makes for the door into the garden.

42. EXT. GARDEN. DAY.

Through a beautiful flower garden, a violently twisting path leads away from the house to a distant hill.

ALICE I should see the garden far better from the top of that hill: arid here’s a path that leads straight to it - well, scarcely straight to it, but I suppose it will eventually.

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She turns a corner and finds herself approaching the house she has just left,

ALICE Mow vexatious! I‘ l l just have to retrace my steps.

She does so, and walks backwards around the corner, only to find the path is still leading back to the house.

She now walks up and down, trying turn after turn, but always with the same result,

These gyrations speed up until the actual path itself becomes an active, malevolent object cunningly reversing itself, and leading Alice back to the house.

ALICE Oh it’s too bad! I never saw such a house for getting in the way! But I’m not going in to it again, 1 know I should have to get through the looking glass again, and there’d be an end of all my adventures.

And she strikes out resolutely down the contorted path. The Red Queen appears dramatically standing in her way round the first bend, holding up her sceptre imperiously. She i s taller than Alice.

RED QUEEN Stap! Where do you come form, and where are you going to?

ALICE So you can see me?

‘The Red Queen nods regally.

ALICE And hear me?

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RED QUEEN Certainly. It’s only in the drawing room you can’t, because of the looking glass you see.

ALICE I suppose so. I came from the other side of that looking glass.

RED QUEEN Well that accoiirits for it. Now look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers. Now where did you say you were going to?

ALICE I want to go to that hill, but I keep losing my way.

RED QUEEN I don’t know what you mean by Your way. All the ways about here belong to me. And why do you want to get to that hill? And turn your toes out, curtsy while you’re thinking, and say your Majesty!

ALICE I only wanted to see what the garden looked like, your Majesty, and the countryside as well.

The Red Queen pats her on the head.

RED QUEEN That’s better. Though when you say garden - I’ve seen gardens compared with which this would be a wilderness.

ALICE And if I could only find my way to thc top of that hill ......

RED QUEEN When you say hill, I could show you hills compared with which you’d call that a valley.

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ALICE No I shouldn’t. A hill can’t be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense ....

RED QUEEN (Tart) That would be nonsense,your Maicstv! ... You may call it so, but I’ve heard nonsense compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary.

Alice curtsies deeply, and mollifies the Queen.

RED QUEEN Come on child. I’ll show you how to get to that hill of yours - not of course that it’s not really mine. You have to walk away from it here in Looking Glass Land you see.

And she walks away from it on her chess piece base. Alice goes with her and is amazed that as they move in the other direction, the hill appears to grow in size, until it is right on top of them.

43. EXT. COUNTRY SIDE. DAY.

Alice looks about her to see the countryside is intersected by seven little brooks which run straight across it from side to side, and the ground between is divided up into squares by little green hedges which reach from brook to brook. The whole is bound on all four sides, by a gigantic hedge.

ALICE (VO) Why I declare it’s marked out just like a large chess board. So that’s what you’re doing here - playing a huge, great game of chess. How I’d like to join in. I wouldn’t mind being a pawn if 1 could, though I should like to be a Queen best.

RED QUEEN That’s easily managed. You can be the White Queen’s pawn as there is a temporary vacancy. You’re in the second square to begin with, and when you get to the eighth square, you will become a Queen, Come on!

She grabs Alice’s hand, and they fly very quickly through the air, Alice’s hair and dress streaming out behind her.

RED QUEEN Faster! Faster!

ALICE But we never seem to pass anything.

RED QUEEN Of course we don’t. No time for talk! Go faster!

They becorne a blur, but the background landscape remains stationary. Then they descend in SL giddy spiral, to the earth.

RED QUEEN Come along. You must begin the game.

And she leads Alice by the hand down the hill to the chessboard fields. Alice looks around her, bemused at the familiar landscape.

ALICE (Panting) But everything’s just as it was.

RED QUEEN Of course it is! What wouid you have it?

ALICE Well in our country you’d generally get to somewhere else if you ran very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.

RED QUEEN A slow sort of country. Now there, you see, it takes all the running you can do to stay in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that.

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ALICE I’d rather not try please, your Majesty. I’m really quite content to stay here.

RED QUEEN Oh, as a white pawn, you cnri’t do that.

As she talks the Red Queen points to the squares mentioned, and the camera zooming to a CU of each of them.

RED QUEEN A pawn goes two squares in its first move you know, so you’ll go very quickly through the third square - by railway I should think, and you’ll find yourself in the fourth square in no time. Well, that square belongs to Tweedledurn and Tweedledee. The fifth is mainly water; the sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty; the seventh square is all forest, however one of the knights will show you the way, and in the eighth square we shall be Queens together, and its ail feasting and fun and furbelows.

ALICE What are furbelows?

RED QUEEN What are furbelows, mur Maiesty?

ALICE (Humbly) I’m ever so sorry, your Majesty. (Curtsying) But what are they, your Majesty.

RED QUEEN Mostly fur skirts, and fur crinolines, and fur pantaloons - you know, fur-below! Really, you are a stupid child. What else could they be? And now, good bye.

During the preceding speech her custom changes rapidly to illustrate the garments mentioned. Finally she waves a regal goodbye. Alice curtsies deeply.

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ALICE Goodbye, your Majesty, but I was just wondering where I....

But when she looks up from her curtsy the Red Queen has disappeared.

ALICE Oh dear - she does run most awfully fast! ... And I must be going myself - I think it was to the third square.

She jumps over the third of the seven brooks, and disappears into a great puff of smoke. When it clears, we are in :

44. EXT. A RAILWAY STATION. DAY.

The puff of smoke is coming from the engine of a steam train. WE TRACK ALONG the platform, following Alice, until we come to a carriage which she enters.

45. INT. RAILWAY CARRIAGE, DAY,

She sits down and looks at the other occupants. Opposite her is a man dressed entirely in white paper. (We could make this newspaper, and have him read different parts of himself throughout the scene). Next to him sit a goat, a beetle and a horse.

The guard puts his head through the carriage window, and regards Alice through binoculars.

GUARD Tickets please.

Everyone except Alice produces an outsize ticket. Together they virtually fill the carriage, The guard hits every ticket with a boxing glove on his fist, before handing it back, He then looks at Alice.

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GUA Come on child, I have to punch your ticket.

The CAMERA CUTS ominously from accusatory CLOSE lJPS of the white suited man, the goat, the beetle, and horse etc.

ALICE I’m afraid I haven’t got one. There wasn’t a ticket office where I came from.

CHORUS OF ALL THE PASSENGERS Don’t keep him waiting, child! Why his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute.

Again the CAMERA CUTS between CU’s of them.

CHORUS - PASSENGERS There wasn’t room for one where she came from. W h y the land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!

GUARD Don’t make excuses. You should have bought one from the engine driver.

CHORUS-PASSENGERS Yes, from the man who drives the engine. Why the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) There’s really no use in speaking.

CHORUS PASSENGERS (Thought Voice Over) That’s right. Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word.

As we hear this WE CUT between CU’s of their mute faces,

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The Guard changes the binoculars for a microscope, and then for a huge extendible telescope.

GUA You’re travelling the wrong way.

He shuts up the window and the train starts. The horse rises, and looks out of the window.

HORSE It’s only a small brook we have to jump over.

ALICE (Thought Voice) I’m not sure about trains jumping brooks, but it’ll take us into the fourth square, and that’s some comfort.

The train rises into the air, and jumps the brook. All the passengers scream as if they were on a roller coaster.

We lose sight of the ground as the train passes through a cloud.

46. EXT. TREE IN FOURTH SQUARE. DAY.

Alice finds herself sitting under a tree, somewhat bemused as to how she got there. Above her head on a bough sits a giant gnat. Alice starts in fear at its size.

GNAT

ALICE Don’t be afraid.

(Haughty) I’m not a bit afraid, I was just wondering what I was doing here.

GNAT You’ve probably come to look at the insects hereabouts. They’re all quite unusual, as 1’11 show you. What sort of insects do you particularly rejoice in?

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ALICE 1 don’t rejoice in insects at all, because I’m rather afraid of them. But I can tell you the names of some of them where I come from.

GNAT Go on then.

ALICE (Counting on her fingers) Well there’s the horsefly ...,

GNAT Here we have the Rocking horse fly. There’s one half way up that bush over there. It’s macle entirely of wood, and gets about by swinging itself from branch to branch.

At this moment the Rocking horse fly does, precisely this.

ALICE What does it live on?

GNAT Sap and sawdust mostly. Go on with the list.

ALICE And there’s the mosquito.

GNAT Here we have the Churchquito. It’s more in keeping with the practices of the people. Mosque-ito has a foreign, Fastern ring to it. Look, there’s one over there on that leaf.

And it points to an insect shaped like a gothic church. She bends to look closer at it, and it flies furiously past her ear, making a noise like a peal of bells, rather than the customary whine.

ALICE And then there’s the butterfly.

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GNAT Crouching in the leaves at your feet you may observe a bread and butterfly. Its wings are thin slices of bread and butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of sugar.

As Alice looks clown, it flies off clurnsiiy. As i t passes she hears it cry in a high pitched voice.

BREAD AND BUTTERFLY Bread before cake! ... Bread before cake! ... Bread before cake!

ALICE I can’t remember any more - oh yes, there’s the spider!

GNAT Here we have the Cloak-and-Dagger, - but it’s still w i n g , as you see.

and it points to a spider dressed in tiaditional cartoon spy costume of cloak and broad brimmed hat, swinging on a thread just above Alice’s head studying her through a miniature pair of binoculars.

With a little shriek, she stumbles to her feet.

ALICE I do not rejoice in spiders.

GNAT That is not a spider. I told you it is a Cloak-and-Dagger.

ALICE Even so, I must take my leave. Thank you for your instruction. By the bye do you know any one called Tweedledum or l‘weedledee?

GNAT Of coiirse I do. This is the fourth square, you know.

96

ALICE Yes, I know. Are they nice?

GNAT Nice!

And the Gnat breaks up laughing.

GNAT You’ll see. Over there ....

It points to a distant wood. Alice gives a little wave and starts to walk away.

GNAT And mind that Dogerpillar!

She looks down and just manages to stop herself standing oti a large, furry caterpillar. It has the face of a miniature spaniel with long, flopping ears.

ALICE ‘That’s not a Dogerpillar. It’s a caterpillar. If it’s what you say it is, it should bark.

GNAT Why should it? Does your caterpillar miaow?

ALICE No.

GNAT Well, there you are then. However, throw a stick for it, and then you’ll see.

Alice, rather hesitantly, does as asked. The Dogerpillar runs lumpily after it, barking feebly.

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ALICE What a ridiculous creature. 1 wonder what i t will turn into - a spaniel by the look of it.

GNAT Here we call it a Tenniel. A John Tenniel.

ALICE I’ve heard of a Jack Russell of course. They’re great ratters. (Doubtfully) - but a John Tenniel .... ?

GNAT They’re great artists. They draw most uncommonly well. When he grows, up you must get him to do your portrait.

ALICE I think it’s rather vain to ask someone to do your portrait, Goodbye now.

And she runs off across the grass towards a black, sinister wood with gnarled trees writhing every which way.

47. EXT. THE WOOD. DAY.

Alice walks timidly down the path which leads through the wood. A signpost lowers itself out of the trees with a pointing hand at the end of it. It reads “To Tweedledum‘s House”. Another signpost appears next to it, and knocks the first signpost flying. It reads “To the House of Tweedledee”, and points in the same direction.

ALICE I do believe they live in the same house.

The signposts fall to fighting, - clouting each other into match sticks.

ALICE I do hope the brothers aren’t so quarrelsome.

She walks on down the path, and turns a carrier attracted by the noise of wooden conflict. Two more signposts, one labelled “Dumroamin”, the other “ - Deesiree”, are fighting furiously. Both bear the same infomation as before. In a sort of grand finale each signpost disarms the other, both severed amis fall to the ground pointing in the same direction. Even here they try to turn each other round to point in the reverse direction.

Alice again walks, on attracted by more noisc of conflict. R O L I I I ~ the bend two small dolls houses fight - one of wood is labelled “Nohow” written on a sign hanging from a chain hanging over the front door; the other made of brick is labelled “Contrariwise” sirnilarly displayed.

The two houses are belabouring each other with railings and hitting each other with chimney pots. Smoke coming out of thcse pots spell the words alternatively ‘‘Take that!” “Put that in your pipe and smoke it!” “That’ll larn yer!” etc etc.

Alice hurries past apprehensively, and finally rounds another bend to find Tweedledurn and Tweedledee, so marked, and dressed exactly alikc in schoolboy uniforms, standing under a tree, their arms round each other‘s necks, and staring at her balefully. They remain as motionless as statues for a long beat. (Dum is on the left as she looks at them.)

TWEEDLEDUM If you think we’re waxworks, you ought to pay you know. Wax works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing. Nohow!

TWEEDLEDEE Contrariwise. If you think we’re alive, yau ought to speak.

A thin voice high in the he tree recites in a broad, flat Liverpudlian whisper.

CROW (VO) Tweedledurn and Tweedledee Agreed to have a battle. For Tweedledurn and Tweedledee Had spoiled his nice, new rattle.

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A huge black crow in pince-nez, shining silk hat, and furled umbrella glides into shot to perch on a branch just above Alice’s head.

CROW Just then flew down a monstrous crow As black as a tar-barrel Which frightened both the heroes so They quite forgot their quarrel.

TWEEDLEDUM I know what you’re thinking about, but i t isn’t so nohow.

TWEEDLEDEE Coritariwise. If it was so, it might be; and if i t were so it would be; but as i t isn’t, i t aint. That’s logic.

CROW It were true about everything except the crow being monstrous. It could equally well read glossy, or well-groomed crow!

ALICE 1 was thinking it’s getting a bit dark, so I ought to know which is the best way out of this wood. Would you tell me please?

The twins look at each other and grin.

ALICE (Pointing at Tweediedum) First boy!

TWEEDLEDUM Nohow!

ALICE Next boy!

100

TWEEDLEDEE

TWEEDLEDUM Contrariwise!

You’ve begun wrong. The first thing on a visit is to say how d’ye do, and shake hands.

The brothers hug each other and extend right and left hands to be shaken.

CROW Have you ever seen such a looking glass couple in all your life? Daft things!

She takes both their hands, and finds herself swung into a dance round the tree singing Here We Go Round The Mu1 berry Bush. Music comes from the tree whosc branches rub across each other like fiddles.

CROW (To the Twins) I’d give over if I were thee. Thou art reet puffed.

And i t flaps off to the beat of the music, parodying the twins’ condition. They pause for breath and let go of Alice’s hands.

ALICE I hope you’re not much tired.

TWEEDLEDUM Nohow. And thank you very much for asking.

TWEEDLEDEE. So much obliged! You deserve some poetry.

ALICE I’d rather hear which road leads out of the wood, if you don’t mind.

TWEEDLEDEE I don’t mind if he don’t mind, but if he don‘t mind I do. (To Tweedledurn) What shall I recite to her?

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TWEEDLEDUM The Walrus and the Carpenter is the longest.

T weedledee starts ins tantl y .

TWEEDLEDEE The sun was shining ....

Alice immediately interrupts him. ALICE

If it’s very long, would you please tell me first which road ....

TWEEDLEDEE (ToTweedledum) We’d better do it together so as to speed it UP.

They meld together back to back and become one perfect spheroid, or as i t were, egg. They start speaking the couplets contrapuntally.

TWEEDLEDEE The sun was shining on the sea Shining with all his might.

TWEEDLEDUM He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright.

TWEEDLEDEE And this was odd because it was the middle of the night.

The sun goes down swiftly, plunging the wood into darkness. A moment later it rises again on:

48. EXT..A BEACH. NIGHT.

It shows us a beach with chalk cliffs, 8 calm sea, and a bright sun completely eclipsing the moon, which sputters briefly and gocs out.

102

EDLEDUM (VO) ‘The moon was shining sulkily Because she thought the sun,

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) Had got no business to be there After the day was done -

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) It’s very rude of him she said, To come and spoil the fun.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The sea was wet as wet could be The sands as dry as dry

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) You could not see a cloud because No cloud was in the sky.

WE PAN UP to the empty sky. And down again to the beach where a long way off we see approaching two lamenting figures - the Walrus and the Carpenter. WE ZOOM IN to an ECU of them.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) No birds were flying over head There were no birds to fly.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) They wept like anything to sec Such quantities of sand.

WALRUWCARPENTER (Together) If this were only cleared away ....

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T W E E ~ ~ E D ~ M (VO) They said,

WALRUS/CARPENTER (Together) ... It would be grand.

Seven spectral girls with long hair, and long handled mops float down the beach sweeping luxuriant I y .

WALRUS If seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year, Do you suppose

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus said,

WALRUS That they could get it clear?

CARPENTER I doubt it ....

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) ... Said the Carpenter, And shed a bitter tear.

WALRUS 0 oysters come and walk with me ....

The Walrus advances to the tide line and addresses the oyster beds - rows of expectant oyster faces.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus did beseech,..

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WALRUS (Duplicitous1 y show in g his hands) A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk Along the briny beach. Me cannot do with more than four To give a hand to each.

WE TRACK into an ECU of the eldest oyster who sports a long white beard and cane, and sits in a bath chair in the niidst of the oyster beds. We illustrate to the words.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) ‘The eldest oyster looked at him, But ncver a word said he ....

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The eldest oyster winked his eye And shook his heavy head.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) Meaning to say he did not choose To leave the oyster bed.

Four oysters leap out of the sea immaculately garbed, and still grooming themselves with bruslies and combs. They run towards the Walrus and the Carpenter.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) But four young oysters hurried up All eager for the treat.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) ‘Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, Their shocs were clean and neat.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) And this was odd you know, because They hadn’t any feet.

t 05

All 16 Oyster feet and shoes disappear at a stroke.

The CAMERA FOLLOWS the gambolling oysters at oyster height as they make their way down the sand towards the beckoning Walrus and Carpenter.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) Four other oysters followed them, And yet another four ....

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) And thick and fast they came at last And more and more and more,

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) All hopping through the frothy waves, And scrambling for the shore.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus and the Carpenter Walked on a mile or so.

The oysters do cartwheels, and skip pebbles to begin with, but gradually lag behind, and have to run to keep up,

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) And they rested on a rock Conveniently low.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) And all the little oysters stood, And waited in a row.

Many of the oysters are panting, and holding their hearts. Illustrate as described, perhaps with all the shoes, sealing wax and cabbages and kings piled up in the ship resting on a boiling sea, with winged pigs as figureheads an the bowsprit.

106

WALRUS The time has come

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) The Walrus said.

WALRUS To talk of many things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax. Of cabbages and kings And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings.

1ST OYSTER But wait rz bit.,..

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Oyster cried.

1ST OYSTER Before we have our chat For some of us are out of breath and all of us are fat.

CARPENTER No hurry,

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) Said the Carpenter.

OYSTERS (Together) Ta! Yes, ta ever so!

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) They thanked him much for that,

WALRUS A loaf of bread.

107

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus said.

WALRUS Is chiefly what we need. Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed. Now if you’re ready, Oysters, clear, We can begin to feed.

OYSTERS (Together) But not on us.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) The oysters cried. Turning a little blue.

OYSTERS (Together) After such kindness, that would be A dismal thing to do.

WALRUS The night i s fine

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus said.

WALRUS Do you admire the view? It was so kind of you to come And you are very nice.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) The Carpenter said nothing but -

108

CARPENTER Cut us another slice. I wish you were not half so deaf I’ve liad to ask you twice.

WALRUS It seems a shame.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus said.

WALRUS (VO) To phy them such a trick. After we’ve brought them out so far And made them trot so quick.

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) The Carpenter said nothing but -

The Carpenter dolefully examines a slice of thickly buttered bread.

CARPENTER The butter’s spread too thick.

WALRUS (Sobbing) I weep for you.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) The Walrus said.

WALRUS 1 deeply sympathize.

Under cover of a vast handkerchief, he glibly sorts out the largest oysters, watched intently and suspiciously by the Carpenter as the former pretends to CTY.

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T W ~ ~ D L E ~ U M (VO) With sobs arid tears he sorted out Those of the largest size.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) Holding his pocket handkerchief Before his streaniing eyes.

CARPENTER O,Oysters!. . , .

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) You've had a pleasant run, Shall we be trotting home again?

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) But answer came there none - And this was scarcely odd because

TWEEDLEDUM (VQ) They'd eaten every one!

THE CAMERA passes over a long line of empty oyster shells. Next to each is a neatly arranged pair of shoes.

ALICE (VO) I like the Walrus best because he was a little sorry for the poor oysters.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) Contrariwise! He ate more than the Carpenter though. You see he held his handkerchief in front so that the Carpenter couldn't count how marly he taok, nor see how big they were.

ALICE (YO) That was mean. Then I like the Carpenter best - if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus.

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TWEEDLEDUM (VO) Nohow! He ate as many as he could get.

ALICE (VO) How perplexing! Do a person’s acts count more than their intentions?. . .Anyway they’re both perfect1 y foul .. .Poor little oysters - they were so trusting.

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) Ah, but they get their own back.

ALICE (VO) Do they?

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) Certainly they do ... Will yoti continue, Dum?

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) Absolutely, my dear Dee. The Carpenter he ceased to sob, The Walrus ceased to weep.

During this exchange the Walrus and the Carpenter who have been exhibiting every sign of gustatory satisfaction, now lie down and compose themselves for sleep, rubbing their tummies, and belching contentedly and rum busti owl y .

TWEEDLEDEE (VO) They’d finished all the oysters And they laid them down to sleep,

TWEEDLEDUM (VO) And of their craft and cruelty The punishment to reap.

They start to snore. The ghost of an oyster appears, dressed in diaphanous white. It dances a macabre gopak, concluding it by sitting on the tummy and chest of the sleeping Carpenter, arms akimbo and legs shooting out. The

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Oyster sings as it dances.

GHOST OF 1ST OYSTF,K

(Singing) The Carpenter is sleeping, the butter’s on his face. The vinegar and pepper are all about the place. Let Oysters rock your cradle Then lull you into rest And if that will not do it We’ll sit upon your chest! We’ll sit upon your chest! We’ll sit upon your chest! The simplest WRY to do it Is to sit upon your chest!

The ghost of a second oyster appears, similarly spookily attired, and dances a hornpipe arid sings, climaxing by jumping 011 the Walrus’s stomach, and chest.

GHOST OF 2ND OYSTER

(Singing) 0 woeful, weeping Walrus, Your tears are all a sham, You’re greedier for oysters Than children are for jam,

You like to have an oyster To give the meal a zest Excuse me, wicked Walrus For stamping on your chest. For stamping on your chest, For stamping on your chest. Excuse me, wicked Walrus For stamping on your chest.

The beach scene fades away, and wc’re back in -

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Alice confronts the twins, still back to back.

ALICE Well, I’m glad they had their revenge, but it’s a cruel poem all the same.

They brcak apart.

TWEEDLEDUM Eating Oysters is not as cruel as breaking rattles. L)o you see that? I’d forgotten all about it!

And he points to a tiny, white, broken rattle.

ALICE It’s only a rattle. Not a rattle-snake, you know, so there’s no need to be frightened. It’s only an old rattle - quite old and broken.

TWEEDLEUUM 1 know it. It’s totally spoilt of course. And it’s not old. It’s new! I tell you it’s new. I bought it yesterday. He’s spoilt my nice new RATTLE!

Tweediedee opens his umbrella, and tries to crawl into it, and fold i t up arownd himself. He lies there, only his head poking out, opening and shutting his mouth like a stranded fish.

TWEEDLEDEE It wasn’t me!

TWEEDLEDUM Yes i t was,,,and of course you agree to have a battle?

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I suppose so. Only she must help us to dress up, you know,

The twins go off hand in hand into the wood leaving Alice alone. Presently she hears a featful clanking corning towards her, and they return with their arms full of bolsters, blankets, hearth rugs, table cloths, dish covers, a coal scuttle and a saucepan.

TWEEDLEDUM I hope you’re a good hand at pinning and tying things? Everyone of these things has got to go on, somehow or other.

Alice dresses them as in the drawing.

ALICE (To Tweedledee) Do you really want a coal scuttle on your head?

TWEEDLEDEE Of course. It’s to keep my head from being cut off. You know it’s one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle - to get one’s head cut off!

She puts on the coal scuttle, and then fits the saucepan on Tcveedledum’s head.

TWEEDLEDUM (Timorously) Do I look very pale?

ALICE Well a little.

TWEEDLEDUM I’m very brave generally, only today I happen to have a headache.

TW EEDLEDEE And I’ve got R toothache. I’m far worse than you.

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T W E E ~ L ~ ~ ~ ~ Nohow.

TWEEDLEDEE Contrariwise.

ALICE Then you’d better not fight today.

TWEEDLEDUM We must have a bit of a fight, but I don’t care about going on long. What’s the tinic now?

TWEEDLEDEE Half past four.

TWEEDLEDUM Let’s fight till 6, and then have dinner.

TWEEDLEDEE Very well - and she can watch us - only you’d better not come very close. I generally hit everything I can see, when I get really excited!

TWEEDLEDUM And I hit everything within reach, whether I can see it or not!

ALICE You must hit the trees pretty often I should think.

TWEEDLEDUM I don‘t suppose. there’11 be a tree left standing for ever so far around, by the time we’re finished!

ALICE And all about a rattle! You should be ashamed.

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TWEEDLEDUM I shouldn't have minded if it hadn't been a new one,..Corne on!

And he starts to belabour Tweedledee with his sword, who returns the complimer~t. At every stroke a piece of metal clatters off, and they disappear into the woods, their progress marked by falling trees.

Alice, laughing ruefully, jumps over a brook, and lands in -

50. EXT. THE FIFTH SQUARE.

As she does so a white shawl wraps itself round her legs, blown by a mighty wind. Panting along behind it comes the White Queen.

WHITE QUEEN Oh dear, oh dear!.,..I'll never catch it.

Alice presents it to her with a low bow, and they start to walk together to the river on which sits a rowing boat.

ALICE Am I addressing the White Queen?

WHITE QUEEN Well, yes, - if you call that a-dressing. But it isn't my notion of the thing at all, I've been a-dressing myself for the last two hours - and look at the result!

A PANNING CU of the White Queen shows her to be dreadfully untidy.

ALICE (Thought Voice Over) Every single thing is crooked. She's all over pins. (Aloud) May I piit your shawl straight for you?

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WHITE QUEEN Frankly, I don’t know what’s the matter with it. It‘s out of temper, I think. I’ve pinned it here, and I’ve pinned it there, but there‘s no pleasing it. It’s very contumacious.

ALICE I don’t think I’ve met a contumacious shawl before. I see I’m going to have to be very firm with it.

And she rigorously pins the shawl in place, shaking the Queen severely in the process.

ALICE (Cont’d) Arid dear me, what a state your hair is in.

She pulls various ob-jects out of the Queen’s hair - combs, brushes, pins, even a couple of small birds in a nest.

ALICE (Cont’d) Come, you look rather better now. But really, you should have a lady‘s maid.

WHITE QUEEN I’m sure 1’11 take you with pleasure. Two pence a week, and jam every other day.

ALICE I don’t think I’d care for any jam today.

WHITE QUEEN You couldn’t have it, even if you did want it. The rule is jam tonlorrow, arid jam yesterday, but never jam today.

ALICE 3t must come sometimes to jam today.

WHlTE QUEEN No it can’t. It’s jam every other day. Today isn’t any other day, you know.

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ALICE I don’t understand you. It’s dreadfully confusi~ig.

WRITE QUEEN You simply must try harder. By the way, can you row?

ALICE Yes, but not on land.

WHITE QUEEN Don’t be a goose!

51. EXT. STREAM. DAY.

The White Queen ushers her into the rowboat, and they set off.

ALICE I wish you would explain about the jam.

WHITE QUEEN Well you see it’s the effect of living backwards, as we all do in Looking-Glass Land. It always makes one a little giddy at first.

ALICE Living backwards! I never heard of such a thing.

The Queen points to the rowing Alice, who is obviously travelling backwards.

WHITE QUEEN Don’t be silly. You’re doing it at this very moment, aren’t you? .... Anyway, there’s one great advantage in it, and that’s that one’s meniory works both ways.

ALICE Mine only works one way. I cannot remember things before they happen.

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WHITE QUEEN It’s a poor sort of memory that only work backwards,

ALICE Well, what sort of things do you remeniber best?

WHITE QUEEN Oh things that happened the week after next.

She binds her finger with plaster, then gets Alice to secure i t with a ribbon. She then starts screaming loudly, and hopping about shaking her hand piteously, and making the boat lurch alarmingly.

ALICE What is the matter? You haven‘t pricked your finger,

WHITE QUEEN I haven’t pricked i t yet - but I soon shall - Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ...

ALICE When do you expect to do it?

WHITE QUEEN Oh, shortly ... very shortly.

The brooch on her shawl flies open, and she clutches at it pricking her finger.

WHITE QUEEN It’s just as well I’ve already got it bound up, isn’t it?

Alice shakes her head in bewilderment.

ALICE Why don’t you scream now?

And she puts her hands over her ears.

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WHITE QUEEN Why, I’ve done all the screaming already. What would be the good of doing it all over again?

ALICE (Dubiously) I see.

WHITE QUEEN Ah! Now you’ve got it! Would you like a poem?

ALICE Yes please. As long as it’s got nothing to do with Walruses and Carpenters.

WHITE QUEEN Why should it have?

ALICE I just heard one that did, and it was very long.

WHITE QUEEN Well this has only got eight lines, arid T can asslire you there i s not a single reference to long-tusked mnmmats, or woodworking artisans in any of them. As you see, i t is in the French tongue, which as a well brought up girl, I‘m sure you can read.

The Queen passes a piece of paper which we read in CLOSE UP as she tries to read and make sense of it.

This is what w e sce: Uti petit d’un petit S’etonne aux Halles Un petit d’un petit Ah! degres te fallent Indolent qui ne sort cesse Indolent que ne se mene Qu’importe un petit d’un petit Tout Gai de Reguennes.

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ALICE One little, of a little ... Tt doesn’t make m y sense,

WHITE QUEEN Read i t out loud slowly, and listen carefully to yourself saying it - then you’II understand. Now I’ve got to go. Set me down here.

ALICE rows her to the bank, and the White Queen hops nimbly onto the bank, and with a wave disappears.

Alice waves back and rows an down the stream slowly repeating the lines of the poem.

ALICE Un petit d’un petit S’etonne aux I-Ialles Un petit d’un petit Ah! degres te fallent, ..... It still makes no sense.

She rounds a bend in the stream, and sees -

52. EXT. WALL. DAY.

Hunipty Dumpty sitting on a wall, on the other side of a brook, which is a tributary of thc stream.

ALICE Elumpty Dumpty.,.,Of course Un petit d’un petit. I see what the poem is all about! You don’t transhe it! It‘s simply English with a French accent!

ALICE (With a French Accent) EIunipty Durnpty sat on a wall Hunipty had a great fall

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All the King’s horses, and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.

She leaps out of the boat and jumps over the brook.

HUMPTY DUMPTY Hello, young miss. 1 think we’ve met before.

ALICE Yes. You began a poem on snow.

WUMPTY DUMPTY Began it? Did 1 not finish it?

She shakes her head.

NUMPTY DUMPTY It’s a difficult poem to finish. Before I start again you must tell me your name and business.

ALICE My name is Alice.

HUMPTY DUMPTY What a stupid name! What does it mean?

ALICE Names aren’t supposed to mean anything.

HUMPTY DUMPTY Of course they are. My name means the shape I am - and a goad, handsome, spherical shape it is. With a name like yours, you might be any shape almost.

ALICE With your shape. don’t you think you’d be safer down on the ground? The top of that wall’s so very narrow.

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PTY DUMPTY Why, if I ever did fall off - which there’s no chance of by the way - but if I did - the king himself has promised me.. .

Alice turns pale and trembles violently.

HUMPTY DUMPTY (Cont’d) -Ah you may turn pale if you like. You didn’t think 1 kept such exalted company did you? - The king himself has promised me - not through his Chamberlains, or Viziers or Courtiers, or regal scions, but with his very own mouth to - to ....

ALICE To send all his horses, and all his men!

WUMF’TY DUMPTY (Sulkily) How did you know that? It’s most unfair and remiss of you to know that. You must have been eavesdropping, sneaking about listening at antechamber doors, concealing yourself in throne rooms, abstracting yourself from public view behind velvet drapes, and ornate screens, lurking behind wrasses.

(Haughtily) I do beg your pardon, but I did none of those things.

ALICE

HUMPTY DUMPTY In any case they’d pick me up again in a trice, they would. Very speedy horses and men working together can be.

ALICE But the poem says that all the king‘s hoses and all the king’s nien couldn’t. ...

She pauses uncertainly.

HUMPTY DUMPTY Couldn’t what?

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ALICE Nothing.

WUMPTY DUMPTY They couldn’t nothing? That’s impossible.

ALICE (Changing the subject) What a beautiful belt you’ve got on.

HUMPTY DUMPTY It is not a beautiful belt. It is a beautiful cravat. You really must learn to tell the difference between a waist and a neck! I t was given to me by another of my grand friends - the White Queen. She gave it me for an unbirthday present.

ALICE What is an unbirthday present?

HUMPTY DU MPTY A present given when it isn’t your birthday of course. They’re much better than birthday presents - there are so many more af- them. There’s glory fox you!

ALICE I don’t know what you mean by glory.

HUMPTY DUMPTY Of course you don’t till Z tell you. 1 meant there’s a nice knockdown argument for you.

ALICE R u t glory doesn’t mean a nice knock-down argument.

HUMPTY DUMPTY When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.

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ALICE The question is whether you can make words mean so many different things.

UMPTY DUNPTY The question is which is to be master - that’s all. They’ve a temper some of them - particularly verbs: they’re the proudest - adjectives you can do anythiiig with, but not verbs. Stubborn, sneaky, peevish, huffy things are verbs. They’re always out of sorts.

A line of short verbs appears on the wall, snarling, stamping their feet, and generally having tantrums. Thcy are “be”, “take”, “vent”, “get”, “fall”, “fly”, “blow”, “go”, “see”, “lose”, “work”, “make”, These become full phrases as they are joined by other words always to form an expression of temper, eg: “be unable to stomach”, “take um brage”, “vent one’s spleen”, “get mad”, “get sore”, “get one’s dander up”, “fall into a passion‘’ “fly into a passion”, “fly into a temper”, “fly into a rage”, “fly off the handle“, “blow one’s top”, “go berserk”, “see red”, “lose control”, “lose one’s temper”, “work into a passion”, “make one‘s blood boil”, etc etc, at the animator’s discretion,

NUMPTY DUMPTY (Yelling) Impenetrability! !

The word fills tlie screen, banishing the others, before disappearing itself.

HUMPTY DUMPTY There you see - I meant by impenetrability, that we’ve had enough of those spiteful, ill humoured verbs, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I don’t suppose you mean to stop here all the rest of your life.

ALICE That’s a great deal of work to make one word mean.

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HUMI“TY DUMP’TY When 1 make a word do a lot of work like that, 1 always pay it extra.

He whistles sharply and the word Impenetrability returns. He tosses a purse of money to it. The capital “I” catches it, and bows.

ALICE You seem very clever at explaining words. Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called Jabberwocky.

HUMPTY DUMPTY Let’s hear it. I can explain a11 the poems that were ever invented, - and a good many that haven’t been.

ALICE ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy tows Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogroves, And the monie raths outgrabe,

WUMPTY DUMPTY Brillig means 4 o’clock in the afternoon - the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.

A watch showing four o’clock miraculously appears in his hand, taken from behind his cravat.

ALICE Aiid slithy?

HUMPTY DUMPTY Lithe and slimy.

His cravat undulates like an eel,

ALICE And toves?

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HUMPTY DUMPTY They’re a cross between a badger ...

A badger appears.

HUMPTY DUMPTY (Cont ’ d). . . . . a lizard.

Half of the badger becomes a lizard.

HUMPTY DUMPTY (Cont’d) .... and a corkscrew,

The creature’s body now becomes coiled and spiralled like a corkscrew. Another similar creature appears and they start to gambol round Alice’s legs.

HUMPTY DUMPTY They make their nests under sundials.

An ornate sundial appears.

ALICE And what’s to gyre and to girnblc?

Huinpty Dumpty points to the gambolling toves who are now spinning round, and making holes in the earth.

HUMPTY DUMPTY As you see, To gyre is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To ginible is to make holes like a girnblet.

ALICE Arid the wabe is the grass plot round a sundial, I imagine?

Tall grass springs up round the sundial.

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UMPTY DUMPTY Clever girl. Now mimsy is flinisy and miserable, and a borogrove is a thin, shabby-looking bird with its features sticking out all round - something like a live mop.

An example of i t joins the dance round Alice in B dispirited sort of way.

ALICE And then mome raths?

UMPTY DUMPTY Well, (z rath is a sort of green pig, and moiiie, I think, means far from home, or lost.

Two green pigs stumble into the dance, helplessly looking about them.

ALICE And what does outgrabe mean‘?

UMPTY DUMPTY It’s something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.

ALICE Thank you, You’ve been most helpful. Goodbye till we meet again.

And she curtsies.

WUMPTY DUMPTY I shouldn’t know you again, if we did meet. You’re so exactly like other people. Your face i s the same as everybody has - two eyes here and here; nose in the middle; mouth under. It’s always the same. Now, If you had two eyes on the same side of the nose for instance, or the mouth at the top, that would be some help.

Alice’s features alter briefly accordingly, before resuming their normal shape.

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ALICE I’m sure it wouldn’t look nice.

WUMPTY DUMPTY You should give it serious consideration. Meanwhile I’ll give you an example of an outgrabe.

He gives an example of the noise he has described, the reverberations of which make him teeter on the wall. Alice tries to steady him, but to no avail. Siowly, but inexorably, he tumbks from the wall, and lands 011 the ground with a tremendous crash, shattering into a hundred pieces.

She hears the sounds of an army approaching - hundreds of men in armour and horses racing to the rescue. They appear, falling and tripping over each other, ancl getting in the most frightful mess. Finally they arrive at the scene of the calamity, and start to put Humpty Dumpty together again.

It is like a three dimensional jig-saw puzzle, and they put him together entirely the wrong way, both eyes on one side, mouth on top of the nose etc -just as previously described to Alice by Humpty Dumpty himself, just before his fall.

Alice looks discreetly from afar.

ALICE Serve him right. I knew I was right all along.

More soldiers can be heard approaching in the same chaotic way as before, and Alice creeps away into the trees where she finds a brook, and leaps over it.

53. EXT. TOWN. DAY. Immediately she lands on the other side, she is staring down from a great height at a town many hundreds of feet below her. Two match stick figures - a lion and a unicorn are pummelling each other furiously whilst circumambulating the town.

ALICE Why I declare, it’s the Lion and the Unicorn. Don’t tell me they’re still fighting ... How does i t go now? ....

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As she runs down towards the town, she recites the poem. The noise of the fight with cheering and counter cheering, grows louder all the time,

ALICE The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown. The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town. Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown Some gave them plum cake, and drummed them out of town.

She enters the town, aiid she is nearly trampled underfoot by the warring duo in a narrow strect.

From the opposite ends of it come two Knights on horses, one in red amour, the other in white. Each have a strange assortment of objects on their horses - fire irons, hand bellows, bottles, brushes, vegetables, niusical instruments, and giant iron spikes on their legs.

REDKNIGWT (‘To Lion) Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! We can’t have this - disturbing the public peace! You’re my prisoner!

WHITE KNIGHT (To Lion) Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! We can’t have this - disturbing the peace! You’re my prisoner!

REDKNIGWT (To White Knight) You can’t have the Lion. He’s= prisoner. Why not have the Unicorn instead?

WHITE KNIGHT 011 very well.

The White Knight clamps a mailed fist on the Unicorn’s horn.

WHITE KNIGHT It’s as well to be provided for everything. That’s the reason the old fellow has all those anklets round his feet.

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ALICE stoops to examine the outsize spikes on the horse’s legs.

ALICE But what are they for?

ITE KNIGHT To guard against the bites of sharks, of course. It’s an invention of my own.

Alice disguises her astonishment and takes a kettle off the back of the horse,

ALICE Let’s all have tea.

Suddenly the Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit appear and hand round plates of white and brown bread. The Cheshire Cat also appears dancing about with a plate of plum cake, appearing and disappearing, so that at times the plate seems to have no visible means of support.

LION I’m bored with plum cake.

UNICORN Let‘s have some jam tarts instead.

The plum cake disappears, and jam tarts take its place on the plate.

REDKNlG Goody! Goody! Jam tarts!

WHITE KNIGHT Goody! Goody! Jam tarts! They’ll be much better than the blotting paper pudding I invented myself.

The two Knights gallop towards the plate, led by the Cheshire Cat. This time it disappears entirely, and the two Knights crash into each other, and tumble to the ground. They rise and start to fight.

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ALICE All that work, getting him back up onto his horse for nothing. The silly things!

She laughs delightedly as she watches thein belabour each other incompetently, as they shout out shrill, war-like cries such as “Have at ye!” and “My steel will search your tripes!” and “I ’ l l skewer yer vitals for ye!“ etc etc.

She walks off, and .junips over a brook.

ALICE The 8th square at last. And now to be a Queen!

Immediately a crown lands on her head, and cl sceptre appears in her hand.

She struts around regally, trying to get used to the crown, which keeps slipping over her eyes, and off her head, as she knights all the flowers in sight, using the sceptre as a sword.

ALICE I dub you Sir Lupin. I dub you Lady Violet. T dub you Lady Rose. I dub you Sir Hyacinth ... Come, sir, rise, and you will be

Hyacinth (higher since) you started kneeling ...

She titters at the awful pun, and her crown falls off. She stoops to retrieve it, and then straightening up, finds that the Red and White Queens are standing on both sides of her, looking daggers.

ALICE (To Red Queen) Please could you tell me if the game is now over?

REI) QUEEN Speak when you’re spoken to,

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ALICE But if everybody obeyed that rule, and if you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody would ever say anything so that ...

WHITE QUEEN The rule to obey is speak before you think, and write it dowri beforehand.

ALICE 1’111 sure I didn’t mean ...,

RED QUEEN What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning?

Alice looks blank, and shrugs.

RED QUEEN (Triumphantly) Ha! There you are then! But what I’d like to know, and you, as a Queen now yourself should too, is who stole the Queen of Heart’s jam tarts?

ALICE I’m sure I’ve no idea ....

The White Rabbit appears suddenly on top of a knoll, dressed as a Herald, and carrying, in addition to his watch, a scroll and a trumpet on which he blows three blasts.

WHITE RABBIT Don’t be late! Don’t be late! The most infamous trial of all time is about to begin! Take your places please if you want to find out who purloined the sweetmeats, or in other words - who stole The Jam Tarts?

ALICE 1’11 bet it’s that naughty Knave. Do let’s go and see.

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RED QUEEN Nothing would keep nie away, - not tht the Queen of

Hearts was ever a great pastry book!

WHITE QUEEN Nor me, though if we follow the White Rabbit, we’re sure to be late.

?‘hey all follow the White Rabbit to the Court House.

MIX THROUGHTO:

54. XNT. THE COURT. DAY.

Alice enters the Court behind the White Rabbit, With her are the Red and White Queen.

The King and Queen of Hearts are seated on their thrones above all the characters we have met in the two stories, who fill the body of the court, viz: except for the witnesses, the whole pack of cards, and afull complement of chess pieces.

In the jury box are twelve creatures of all kinds, squirrels, lizards, ducks, frogs, porcupines, cockerels and mice, all of whom are staring greedily at a large platter with two isolated cream topped jam tarts on it, sitting on a table. Next to it stands the Knave of Hearts in chains, guarded by two soldier-playing cards.

ALICE What scrumptious tarts! I wish they’d get the trial done with and hand round the refreshments.

KING (To White Rabbit) Herald, read the accusation!

The White Rabbit blows on his trumpet and unrolls his scroll.

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WHITE RABBIT The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts All on a summer day. The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts And took them quite away.

KING (‘Io the Jury) Consider your verdict.

WHITE RABBIT Not yet! Not yet! We must hear the witnesses first. 1 call the first one - Her Right Royal Majesty The Queen of Hearts!

The Queen rises from her throne, and paces the court like an early Perry Mason,

QUEEN (Pointing to the tarts theatrically) Those two miserable tarts are all that are left of a great batch of tarts that I made this morning ....

WE FADE IN A VIGNEI’TE FLASHBACK OF:

55. THE COURTYARD OUTSIDE THE PALACE KITCHEN

The Queen emerges from the Royal Kitchen carrying a large platter of steaming jam tarts. She places them to cool on the kitchen window sill.

QUEEN (VO) ... and set to c a d on the window sill of the Royal Kitchens.

As she bustles off, an amorphous shadow falls across the tarts, and we hear a sinister, tremulous, sting chord, as WE MIX BACK TO:

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56. THECOURT The Queen is still dominantly pacing the court.

QUEEN 1 didn’t just make two tarts. I made two dozen, and the miscreant thief ate them all until he could eat no more. Cunningly, lie left two, hoping I wouldn’t notice the absence of the others. But I’m not such a dunce as all that. Oh no! I know the difference between two tarts, and two dozen tarts!

KI3yG

What is the difference, dear?

QUEEN If you want to know the answer, ask the Knave. Ne took them so lie should know. They’re all in there! Ijust know they are.

And she prods him hard in the stomach with her sceptre. We see a brief X- Ray picture of the inside of the Knave’s stomach with all the tarts piled neatly up.

KNAVE How do you know? I’m innocent, I tell you - innocent!

QUEEN It’s obvious you’re guilty. Aha! I see it all now! You‘re a knave aren’t you?

Another X-ray picture of the inside of the Knave’s stomach shows all the tarts disappearing one by one.

KING (To Jury) Oh very good. Consider your verdict.

WHITE RABBIT Your Majesty perhaps we should hear the other witnesses first.

KING Oh must we? It would be better my way you know. We could ail get at the tarts quicker. Perhaps I might just try one now ... It is a trial isn’t it?

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And he stretches out his hands towards the plate.

WHITE RABBIT They are evidence, your Majesty. It wouldn’t do to eat the evidence. There’s little enough of i t as it is.

WNG It would lead to a quicker trial though.

The Queen gives him a glare, and smacks his hand.

QUEEN (To King) That’s enough of that. (Looking suspiciously at the King) H’m I see that the Knave is not the only person present with a partiality for jam tarts! Aha! I see it all now!

KWG I never touched them, my dear, I swear it!

QUEEN We sliall see. (To White Rabbit) Proceed!

WHITE RABBIT Call the next witness. Call the Hatter!

The Hatter, wearing a top hat appears carrying a teacup and a piece of bread and butter.

NATTER I beg pardon, your Majesty, for bringing these in, but 1 hadn’t quite finished my tea when I was sent for.

KING You ought to be finished, When did you begin?

HATTER The 14th of March I think it was.

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ARCH HARE Fif teentli.

DORMOUSE Sixteenth.

KING (To Jury) Write that down.

The Jury write down on their slates squeakily 14 1s 16

QUEEN I expect you hadn’t finished because you had too many tarts to eat.

KING Take off your hat.

HATTER It isn’t mine.

KING (To Jury) Stolen!

The jurymen with more terrible squeaks write down “stolen” on their plates, all spelling it differently, “Stolan”, “Stolon”, “Stolun” etc etc.

HATTER I keep them to sell. I’m a hatter,

QUEEN Don’t prevaricate! What are you concealing under that hat? Tarts, I’ll be bound! Remove it this instant! Off with his hat!

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The Hatter takes of his top hat. There are no tarts. He is completely bald. The Queen walks over and inspects his head closely.

QUEEN What a wily Hatter!

KING He’s probably one of those conjuror chappies. If you can make rabbits appear from hats, you can probably make tarts clisappear from them too!

QUEEN That’s it! You’re on to something there, my dear.

WHITE RABBIT I was never made to appear from a hat.

KXNG (To White Rabbit)

That’s neither here nor there. (To Hatter) Now, you. Give your evidence, and don’t be nervous or I’ll have you executed,

The Hatter bites a large piece out of the teacup instead of the bread and butter.

Alice in sympathy bites a piece of her mushroom and starts to grow bigger - her feet receding at a colossal rate.

DORMOUSE I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so. 1 can hardly breathe.

ALICE I can’t help it. I’m growing.

DORMOUSE You’ve no right to grow here - not in that vulgar, show off, fashion!

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And he storins off to the other side of the court.

The Hatter sinks to his knees. He is trembling so much both his shoes shake off.

NATTER I’m a poor man, your Majesty, but some times I can afford some tarts with my tea, which of course I wouldn’t dream of eating till I’d finished up all my bread and butter.

KING Quitc right too. Bread before citkey is the golden rule.

QUEEN There is no goIden rule where stolen cakeys are concerned, Do you deny you had tarts for tea?

WATTEH No, Your Majesty. I indeed did send the Dormouse off to bring me some tarts.

QUEEN Aha! I see it all now!

DORMOUSE They were treacle tarts, from the treacle well I

QUEEN Stuff and nonsense! We aren’t talking of treacle tarts. We’re talking of jam tarts from a jam jar. 1 made them myself, so I should know. So stop wasting the time of this court. (To the Hatter) Which reminds me, Y OLI once murdered time, when you sang at our concert. Off with his head!

The hatter runs from the court, pursued by soldiers.

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QUEEN (Con t ’ d) Now, where’s that March Ware. He’s got at least two dozen places at his tea table. He’d need all those tarts. Aha! I see it all now!

The March Hare quickly follows the Hatter.

QUEEN (Cont’d) Off with his head too! (To the White Rabbit) Now call the next witness.

The White Rabbit blows three blasts on his trumpet.

WHITE RABBIT (Calling out) Call the Cook!

The Cook enters holding a pepperpot in one hand and the pig-baby in the other. She takes her place in the witness box.

KING Now then, what are tarts macle of?

COOK Pepper mostly.

The Queen strides up to the witness box.

QUEEN Not my tarts! They‘re made of jam, and the very best pastry - as you well know. Aha! 1 see it all now! You stole them to find out the recipe. Come confess!

COOK Nonsense, I only make Tarte au Poivre.

The Queen rushes over to the pig-baby and stoops dramatically to peer at it.

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QUEEN Aha! I see i t all now! N o wonder that baby’s turning into a pig with nearly two dozen tarts inside him. Only a pig would steal and eat so many!

COOK Rubbish! You might as well accuse the Duchess!

QUEEN I do! Look at that huge satchel mouth of hers. Aha! I see it all now! Only a huge mouth could possibly demolish so many tarts!

AND WE ZOOM INTO AN ECU of the Duchess’s wide mouth, as she tries desperately to purse it up,

DUCHESS (Through clenched lips) It’s well known I’m not partial to. jam tarts.

Not to me it isn’t. You could put all two dozen tarts in there, and no would be any the wiser. It’s a mouth made for tart eating. Let’s have a look! Open up!

QUEEN

And she forces the Duchess’s mouth open, revealing a vast but empty chasm. The Duchess laughs triumphantly.

DUCHESS There ! ..*.Satisfied?

G They don’t seem to be there, dear. (To White Rabbit) You had better call the next witness.

QUEEN Or witiiesses! Call those blubbery boys. Those tubby twins! Those bloated brothers! Those corpulent commodious, catawauling, casuitical, cretinous schoolboys. That fractitious fraternity, those lunipen, plumpen ......,... .......

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WHITE RABBIT Would your Majesty be referring to Tweedleduni and Tweed1 edee?

QUEEN Of course, you furry dolt!

The White Rabbit blows another three blasts on his trumpet.

WHITE RABBIT Call Tweedledum. and Tweedledee!

They enter, still dressed for battle.

KING Take off those ridiculous clothes, and give an account of yourselves instantly (Aside) 1 don’t know why the young can’t dress properly nowadays.

They do so with a great deal of metallic noise.

QUEEN Now then, you portly pilferers, you plump purloiners, you potbellied pickpockets - where are those tarts you stole?

TW EEDIXDUM We didn’t steal no tarts, your Majesty. Nohow.

TWEEDLEDEE Con trari w i se.

QUEEN Of course you did. Look a t the shape of you both. Tart-eating shapes.

TWEEDLEUUM We’re not the only ones who have - er enibonyoint in Looking Glass Land.

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NG There‘s a tart reply for you.

QUEEN A M reply lieh! Aha! I see i t all now! They were not fighting over a rattle at all - That was always too silly, even for them. I t was tarts! Jam tarts! They were fighting over sharing the booty!

TWEEDLEDUM Nohow. If it’s fat personages, or tart eating shapes your Majesty was looking for, why not ask Humpty Dumpty?

TWEEDLEDEE Contrariwise. If it was greedy personages your Majesty was looking for, how about the Walrus and the Carpenter?

QUEEN You’re right! Of course. Call that ovoid oracle.,.and the other two!

WHITE RABBIT Call Humpty Dumpty , and the Walrus and the Carpenter.

Tweedleduni and Tweedledee hastily don their armour, any old fashion, and leave fighting.

Humpty Dumpty enters, his face sadly cracked and badly re-arranged, His mouth is at the top, and his eyes on the bottom. He enters the box.

QUEEN Dumpty, you can’t fool me with that innocent expression on yourface. Oh no!

HUMPTY DUMPTY I’m not thc complete master of my expressions these days, your Majesty. For example my grin, you see is more topsided, than lopsided.

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QUEEN Don’t banter with me, Dunipty. Aha! 1 see i t all now! It was an excess of tart eating that led you to slip from the wall.

MUMPTY DUMPTY I didn’t so much slip from it, your Majesty, as demur,

QUEEN Demur means to raise objections.

NUMPTY DUMPTY ‘The objwtion I’m raising is that a word means what I choose it to niean. In this case demur means to fall from a wall - from the French you know, -De-mur.

KING He’s got a point there, you know, my dear,

QUEEN Fiddlesticks!

WUMPTY DUMPTY Besides It fell because I was illustrating the word “outgrabe’’. Xt‘s something, you know, between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.

He gives an example of the noise he has described, and blows himself into a hundred pieces.

At a sign from the King hundreds of horses and soldiers enter the Court, and start trying to put the pieces together again, interleaving their efforts with pauses to scratch their heads in puzzlement.

’The Walrus and the Carpenter now enter the box.

QUEEN Walrus, Carpenter - where are my Jam tarts?

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WALRUS How wrong it is to point at us, And accuse us of the theft

CARPENTER We may like oysters very much But the tarts we did not heft.

QUEEN Came, come. It is well known that you two are the greediest couple in the land. How does it go - “You’re greedier for oysters, than children are forjam. Mark that - jam! Now what have you got to say for yourselves!

THE WALRUS The Time has come.

CARPENTER The Walrus said.

WALRUS To talk of many things Of jam and cream and pastery Of royal tarts and kings Of why those tarts were quite knocked off, And how those tarts took wings.

CARPENTER We now accuse the monster vile With flames from out its lung

WALRUS We now accuse the monster vile Trying to cool its tongue.

CARPENTEWWALRUS (Together) We now accuse the jaws that bite, the claws that

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catch, The frum ious jam tartersnatc h !

QUEEN The Jabberwock! Ah I see it all now! Let’s hear the foul thing! Call the Jabberwock!

KING My dear no one has ever understood a single word it lias ever said. It just “whiffles” and “burbles”. Besides its had its head cut off. We’d be much better off calling the Lion and the Unicorn. They’re always having tea.

The White Rabbit blows another three blasts on his trumpet,

WHITE RABBIT (Calling) Call the Lion and the Unicorn,

The Lion and the Unicorn enter fighting.

KLNG You can stop all that fighting. This is a Court of Law, not a battlefield.

Two of the bewigged creatures at the table beneath the King and Queen look at each other in mock surprise.

1ST WIGGED CREATURE (Aside to 2nd) I’m not sure her Majesty would agree!

The Queen stares at them suspiciously.

The Lion and the Unicorn stop fighting reluctantly, and enter the witness box.

QUEEN I understood that you two are no longer satisfied with plumcake.

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LION (Deep cockney voice) Well yer wouldn’t be, yer Majesty, if yer was goin’ ter be drummed aht of town immediately after yer’d noshed it, would yer nah!?

UNICORN (Contrasting high effeminate voice) And another thing, it’s boring day after day.

QUEEN SO you Iiad jam tarts insteacl, I unclerstand?‘j

UNICORN Well -just a few.

QUEEN Aha! 1 see it all now! - My jam tarts I’ll warrant!

LIONKJNICORN Oh no, your Majesty. Nothing like that.

QUEEN Really!? Well where did you acquire those tarts, may I ask?

LION I dunno, yer Maj. They just sorb appeared.

QUEEN Sorta appeared!? Jam tarts don’t sorta appear. They are hand craftcd with great love arid labour. These ones in particular were crafted by these Queenly hands!

And she moves them menacingly towards the faces of the cowering Lion and Unicorn.

UNICOHN J think the Ked and White Knight brought them. 1 remember the White Knight saying they werc much better than the blotting paper pudding he’d inveiitcd himself.

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G Send for the Red and White Knights!

The White Rabbit sounds his trumpet three times.

ITE RABBIT Call the Red and White Knights!

The Knights bath gallop in, collide and fall off their horses, before being laboriously hauled up by court officials ancl taking their places in the witness box.

QUEEN (To White Knight) You, White Knight, do you know a poem which starts I’ll tell thee everything 1 can There’s little to relate I saw an aged, aged man A-sitting on a gate?

WHITE KNIGHT Yes indeed, your Majesty. It will bring tears to your eyes.

QUEEN I doubt it.

The White Knight adapts a histrionic pose. We illustrate the poem as it is spoken.

WHITE KNIGHT (Dramatically) Who we you, aged inan, I said, Aiid how is i t you live? And his answer trickled through my head Like water through a sieve. He said I look for butterflies That sleep among the wheat. I make them into mutton pies ancl sell them in the street.

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QUEEN Aha! Mutton pies eh? Are you quite sure you don’t mean jam tarts?

WHITE KNIGI-I(T Quite sure, your Majesty. You see it wouldn’t rhyme with butterflies.

QUEEN It might orginally have been He said I look for horses and carts That sleep among the wheat. If butterflies can be made into muttoil pies, Horses and carts c m be made into jam tarts!

And we see this happen.

KING I don’t think they’d make all that nice jam tarts though, do you dear (To the White Rabbit) 1 think you had better call the next witness.

WHITE RABBIT Who is the next witness, your Majesty?

QUEEN (Pointing to Alice) That little girl. She looks particularly sly, and particularly tart 1 ovi ng .

The White Rabbit blows another three blasts on his trumpet.

WHITERABBIT (Calling) Call Alice!

Alice who has now grown enormously tall, stands up abruptly, knocking the jury box over,

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QUEEN Aha! I see it all now! A growing girl needs a great supply of food - in this case tarts! She’s nearly a mile high! Off with her head - if anyone can reach it!

ALICE I am not a mile high. And 1 ani not a thief!

KING This trial cannot continue until ail the jurymen are back in their proper places.

Alice hastily restores the creatures to the box.

r n G All of them!

Alice sees she has put the Lizard in head downwards, and quickly reverses him.

ALICE (To Herself) I should think it W O U I ~ be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.

The Queen rushes over demonically to exaniine the jury.

QUEEN Aha! 1 see i t all now! Twelve jurymen. Two each makes two dozen tarts. The jury stole the tarts. Off with their heads!

KING (7’0 Alice) Now then my girl, What do you know about this business?

ALICE Not hi n g w hstev er.

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G That’s very important.

The jurymen start to write down the word “important”.

Unimportant, your Majesty means of course.

KWG Unimportant, of course I meant, didn’t I? (To himself) Important - uniniportant, important-unimportant, important-iinimportat. ...

Some of the jurymen write i t down one way, and some the other.

ALICE I really don’t think it matters - this trial is such a farce.

QUEEN (Scandalised) A farce! This trial a farce!

ALICE Certainly. There’s scarcely anyone in the courtroom your Majesty has not accused. (Mimicking Queen) Aha! I see it all now! You probably stole them yourself in order to have an excuse for executing everyone, which is what you principally like to do!

QUEEN How dare you! How double dare you! 1 tell you someone very slyly stole away my tarts, and managed to eat them without being seen. I don’t for the life of me know how it was done in such a public place, but I shall certainly get to the bottom of it, and when 1 do.,..

The voice of the Cheshire Cat is heard softly, and enormously self-satisfied,

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CHESHIRE CAT (VO almost a whisper) But I know. lnvisibility has its uses. And I do so love a nice jam tart or two - or two dozen, topped with niounds of whipped cream....

The grinning face of the Cheshire Cat appears briefly in the air above the head of the Queen. It is covered in strawberry jam and cream. It moves towards Alice.

ALICE You naughty puss! It was you all along!

All the cards rise up in the air, and come flying down upon the cat, and Alice, as the foniier disappears laughing hugely and licking its lips, We MOVE INTO AN ECU of Alice’s head and MIX BACK ‘IO:

LIVE ACTION:

57. EXl’. THE HAYRICK ON THE RlVEH BANK. EARLY EVENING.

Alice lies in the dappled shade of the hayrick on the river bank6 Her sister Lorina sits next to her.

LORINA Wake up, Alice, dear. Why, what a long sleep you’ve had. It’s getting late and you haven’t had your tea. Look, I’ve saved you a tart. You’re very lucky Dinah didn’t eat it.

And she offers Alice a jam tart topped with cream. The cat makes a play for i t with its paw, trying to scoop the cream off, as she lifts it to her mouth.

ALICF, Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!

And she starts to giggle helplessly as WE MOVE INTO FRAME Alice’s head, Dinah and the jam tart in CLOSE UP.

THEEND.