annie stories

8/10/2019 Annie Stories

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Focus Issue: Parenting/Child Development

2001 ISSN 1042-0878 FI-P/CD - 1 Family Information Services Minneapolis, MN (800) 852-8112

Objectives: As a participant in this guided self-study, family educators will be able to:

utilize storytelling as a developmentallyappropriate technique for reassuring children,for helping them cope with fears, and toinspire hope and empower children who haveexperienced a trauma such as a flood or othernatural disaster.

identify the steps or components of aneffective Annie Story.

teach parents and other caregivers to usestorytelling tailored to the needs of thechildren in their care.

This Focus Issue is dedicated to all the familiesand children in North Dakota, Minnesota, and

Manitoba who have experienced the devastating effects of the spring 1997 floods.

Natural disasters are catastrophic events foradults. Imagine then, their impact on childrenwho are so much more helpless and have farfewer resources to help them understand what ishappening or to seek out help.

In addition, the adults, who would normally beavailable to help children through thisexperience, are often extra busy and preoccupied

with their own needs; reactions, mourning andre-building that must be done.

As with adults, children find natural disastersterrifying because their entire world is disruptedand the events are beyond their control. They arelikely to feel fearful or angry. They may becomemore clingy and dependent, not wanting to beout of sight of a parent. They may refuse to go toschool or childcare for the same reason. Theymay regress to babyish ways or withdraw intoinappropriate quietness or depression. They maydevelop fears they never had before. They maybecome disobedient or act up. All of these ways ofbehaving are the childs response to the stress ofthe disaster. They are all ways of saying, Imupset. I need someone to help me through this.

The best ways to help children through thisexperience is to make sure you spend time withthem listening to their fears and reassuringthem. This is not to say that you should lie tothem or try to sugarcoat what is obviously afrightening and real situation. They will sensethat you are covering up and are likely to becomeeven more worried about what terrible thing it isthat you are hiding.

Speak to them in simple language and tell themwhat has happened. Tell them that the situationis difficult, but that they will be taken care of andthat you will be there for them. Let them knowthat difficulties can be overcome and that youwill all work together to do so.

Reassure them that what has happened is nottheir fault. Children often believe that theirnaughtiness has caused bad things to happen.They have a tendency to take on guilt for

Key Wordsstress, coping, trauma, fears (of children),resiliency, disasters (natural), stroytelling(therapeutic)

Coping with Floods(or other natural disasters)by Doris Brett, M.A., Clinical Psychologist & Author, Victoria, Australia


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situations that adults know are entirely beyondtheir control.

Give your child lots of cuddles, reassurance andfamiliar routines, like a bedtime story. Try totake their special toys along with you wherever

youre staying.

Allow them to draw, play or act out their fears

and anger.

Get them to tell you about their dreams. Theywill often be having nightmares and together youcan figure out ways that they can turn thosenightmares around with dream magic. (For moredetail on how to do this, see Annie Stories , byDoris Brett, Workman Publishing, New York,1988.)

Dont try to tell them that they shouldnt beupset. They are mourning a number of losses and

it is natural and indeed healthy for them to beable to feel and express those feelings. Itsimportant to recognize their emotions, to letthem know that you understand, and that youhave felt the same yourself, but that you alsoknow that with time, these emotions will becomeless intense and that they will be able to feelhappy again. They will often need to repeat theirconcerns over and over and need your repeatedreassurance about their safety.

If they have particular fears, such as what would

they do if floodwaters came into their houseunexpectedly at night, rehearse safetyprocedures with them. They will be feeling morevulnerable to any attack on their security andmay develop fears about burglars, boogey-men,etc. Provide them with some sort of safety device,even if it is a magical one, like the magic torchin this Annie Story. (For more detail on how tohelp children cope with fears of night-timemonsters, see More Annie Stories , by DorisBrett, Brunner-Mazel Publishing, New York,1992.)

Try to allow them to help in some way. Or to takepart in family discussions, on how to cut back oncosts for example. This will help them feel morein control and less helpless.

Remember that this disaster provides a veryimportant learning opportunity for children itenables them to see how people can live through

and resolve enormous difficulties, support eachother and come out the other side intact andperhaps even stronger. This kind of learning willstand them in good stead for the rest of theirlives.

If their distress seems very severe or is notgetting better over time, seek professional help.Similarly for yourself. You need to look after

yourself as well and sometimes its easy to forgetthat.

Helping Children Through Annie StoriesSometimes children cant talk to you about theirdistress. They may not have the words orconcepts to express themselves easily. They maybe shy about admitting what they are feeling, orembarrassed, guilty or ashamed. If you try totalk to them about it man to man, they mayswitch off children dont usually respond wellto this approach. How then to talk to them abouttheir fears and problems? How can we getthrough to them, let them know we understandand offer them ways of dealing with their fearsand finding comfort and strength?

Stories are a wonderful answer. All over theworld, children switch off at lectures, but switchon for story time. Annie Stories are therapeuticstories, which help children feel better and copebetter with their fears and problems. The hero orheroine in an Annie Story is a little girl or boy

just like your child. They are worried about thesame things and have the same problems to dealwith. In the story, the hero or heroine finds waysof coping with and resolving these troublingissues.

As your child listens to the story, he or she is ableto identify with the hero/heroine. There is safetyin the story its like the my friend John has aproblem technique that we adults often usewhen we want to find out information on aproblem thats embarrassing for us to admithaving ourselves. So your child is free to listenand to learn without having to feel embarrassedor guilty or too uncomfortable.

Telling your children a story about children withfeelings just like theirs helps them realize thatthey are not freaks for feeling like this, thatother kids have been through this too. This is


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very reassuring for them. It also lets them knowthat you, too, understand their feelings alwaysan immensely comforting experience.

Telling a story also provides a way ofcommunicating with your children. If you areunsure of how they are feeling, you can askthem , And what do you think, Annie (orwhatever the name of your story hero/heroine is),was most worried about? The answer they give

you will reflect directly on their own fears.Children can be very forthcoming about thefeelings and fears of story characters even whilethey may clam up completely when asked abouttheir own.

Telling a story to a child also creates a net ofintimacy and warmth that is comforting for theparent as well as for the child. Its very hard forus as parents when we see that our children aretroubled and we dont know how to get throughto them or how to help them. It helps us asparents to know that there is a simple, naturaland age-old technique children love and arecomforted by, that we can offer them.

You will note that we have included illustrationsof several different children (both girls and boys)in this Annie Story. As you tell or read the storyto your children, change the names andsituations to suit their own. If your child is a boy,for instance, youll want to change Annies nameto a boys name that is similar to your childs butnot exactly the same . If money problems, forinstance, are a greater focus in your situation

than they are in this story, add some detail to itthat echoes your own and your childrensexperience.

There are footnotes posted throughout the storyso that you can understand why particularthings are mentioned and what issues areimportant ones. These all help you to make up

your own story or modify the existing one. Theending of the story is always a positive one. It isimportant to give children hope that there is away of dealing with these troubling issues andemotions and that they will be able to feel strongand happy again.

In Annie Stories: A Special Kind ofStorytelling (Workman, 1986) and More AnnieStories: Therapeutic Storytelling (Brunner-Mazel, 1992), Doris Brett has written AnnieStories to address many different situations,from the first day of school to fear of monsters, toloss of a loved one.


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Annies Storyby Doris Brett 1997

O nce upon a time there was a little girl called Annie. She lived with her mom and dad in a white, wooden house in a small town near the banks of a big river. 1

Annie loved her house. She had lived there all her life. She had her ownroom, with her own bed and a cupboard full of Annie things herfavorite jeans and dresses, her games, her books and her special toys.Some of the extra-special toys got to sit on Annies bed, where they werealways there to say hello to her in the morning when she woke, andgoodnight to her in the evening when she went tosleep.

One day when Annie came down to breakfast, hermom and dad were talking with each other in veryworried voices.

Whats wrong? said Annie immediately. 2 Shedidnt like it when her parents talked like that. Italways meant something bad was happening. And

Annie was always worried that it was about her. 3

Her father pointed at the newspaper spread in front of him. There are flood warnings in the paper, darling. Theres been a lot of extra rain latelyand the rivers have too much water in them. Theyre rising way up overtheir banks and the water is coming into towns and farms.

What about our river? said Annie instantly. Is our river going to rise?

Well, said her mom, they say that it will. They think its going to flow over its banks and through our houses. 4

What will we do? said Annie. She was beginning to feel frightened.

Well, said her dad, were going to pack bags with sand and pile themup by the rivers edge to see if that can stop the river from overflowing.

Can I help? said Annie. She knew she would feel better if she weredoing something to help.


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Sure you can, said her mom. All the neighbors will be there. 5 Well all beworking together.

Annie helped her mom and dad pack sandbags. Her mom was right. Everyonewas there, all working together. It was nice to see everyone, even people whodidnt know each other very well, working together as a team. 6

They worked and worked, packed sandbag aftersandbag. But still the river kept rising. Finally, Anniesfather said. Its no good. The river is rising too fast.Were going to have to leave our house for a while. Itwont be safe here while the flood water is high. Well goto Aunt Jennys place. Its safe there. 7

But I dont want to leave here, said Annie.

I know you dont, said her dad. We dont either, but wehave to because it wont be safe here.

Maybe it will be like an adventure, said her mom. You know like in your storybooks about kids who get shipwrecked on islands and things. We can pretend were the heroes in one of your storybooks and were on an adventure.

Okay said Annie. That might even be exciting, she thought. She knew thatheroes often had to do things they didnt want to do and escape from dangeroussituations. That was part of being a hero. 8

Well lets go into the kitchen first, said Annies mom. We have to make somehero sandwiches to take with us. You can help me make them. Then well go to

your room and Ill help you pack some things to take with us.

Annie hated packing. She wanted to take everything with her,but her mom said there simply wasnt room. Annie didnt wantto leave any of her toys behind, but she had to. Annie felt verybad about that. Sometimes being a hero wasnt fun. 9

All of Annies friends were packing to leave too. Annie didnthave much time, but she managed to say good-bye to some ofthem. They were all going to nearby towns like Annie was andher mom and dad said she would still be able to see them andtalk to them, so that felt good.


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When they were all settled in at Aunt Jennys house, Annie watched pictures ofthe flood on TV. She didnt recognize her little town. The streets were filledwith water. Water was rising up to the windows of the houses. The playgroundwhere Annie used to play was completely under water. Everything lookeddifferent and dangerous. Annie felt very scared and very sad.

What would happen if the flood waters came here? she asked her mom. Whatif the river rose up suddenly one night when we were all asleep? We could all getdrowned. 10

I know thats a very scary thought, darling, said her mom. But it wouldnthappen like that. We would get a little bit of warning, like we did this time, so we

could prepare. But if youre really worried, we can make you a special Emergency Pack that you can keep under your bed and that will make you feel safer. 11

Id like that, said Annie. What will we put in the Emergency Pack?

We can put some water-wings, so that you could float your way to ourroom. And a big whistle so that you could whistle for help and wewould hear you. And a torch (flashlight) thats a very special magic torch.

A magic torch! said Annie. What does it do?

Well, said her mom , as well as giving you light, italso scares monsters away. I know that sometimes at

night when you wake up, you get scared of monsters.Well now, all you have to do is shine the torch aroundand any monsters would be terrified and run away. 12

That sounds great, said Annie. I like my Emergency Pack. I think Ill feel safer at night now.

Annie didnt like staying at Aunt Jennys. She wanted to go home. She wishedthe flood had never happened. Her mom and dad were busy and worried all thetime. They didnt have as much time for Annie as they used to. 13 Sometimes

Annie worried that the flood had come because she had been a bad girl anddone something wrong. 14 Sometimes she felt very angry and wanted to kicksomething. Sometimes she felt very sad and wanted to cry. Sometimes she feltvery quiet and didnt want to do anything at all. All of the time she missed herhouse and her bed and her toys and the way things were. She wanted to gohome. 15


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One day Annies mom came in and found Annie crying.Whats wrong darling? she said, and gave Annie ahug.

Im scared the flood came because I was bad, said Annie. She had been too scared to tell anyone thatbefore.

Her mom listened carefully. Sweetheart, she said, Inever realized you thought that. The flood wasnt your

fault, it wasnt anyones fault. Sometimes thingshappen that you cant control. 16

I hate that, said Annie. I hate it that things happen that you cant control.That means you cant do anything about them. They can stop you doing thingsand you cant do anything about them at all. I hate that!

Well you know Annie, said her mom settling down onthe floor beside her and putting her arm around her.Sometimes its not as bad as all that. Its true that bigthings can happen that we cant control, but that doesntmean that we cant do anything at all.

Do you remember that story I read you once about some children who go on a sailing adventure?

Yes, said Annie. She had really liked that story.Well, said her mom, on a sailboat, you depend on the wind to take youwherever youre going. Sometimes though, the wind isnt blowing in thedirection you want to go and you cant control the wind.

Oh, said Annie, does that mean that you cant go there then?

No, said her mom. You know what sailors do? They change the direction oftheir sails to catch whatever wind there is and that means they can go a little bit

sideways and then a little bit forward and then a little bit sideways and then alittle bit forward. It still gets them where they want to go but it just takes a bitlonger. Its called `tacking into the wind. Sometimes the wind isnt blowing atall and so the sailors just wait. They know that sooner or later the wind will

start up again.


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So even though they cant make the wind do what they want, they can still useit to get places? asked Annie.

Thats right, said her mom, it just might take them longer.

Or they might go the long way around and visit different places along the way,said Annie. She liked visiting different places. She thought maybe she would be

a sailor when she grew up. It was nice to know that you could still get to places you wanted to go to even though you couldnt control everything. 17

Tell me, said Annies mom. Is there anything we cando to help you feel better? 18

Well, said Annie, I get scared a lot. Im scared somethings going to happen to me.

Its been a really scary time. said her mom. I think weve all been scared. And

cross and grumpy and hard to talk to at times. Its not your fault. Its nothingthat youve done. Its just that its been a hard time for all of us. 19 But you knowwere going to take very good care of you. 20 Whatever happens, were all togetherand well always take care of you and see that youre safe.

Annie felt better to hear that.

And I worry a lot about whats going to happen, she said. Youre always busyand I feel kind of left out. I feel like Im not important. 21

Annies mom gave her a hug. Youre the most importantthing we have, she said. But I can see how youve been

feeling a bit left out. Why dont I make some extra special timewith you each bedtime and we can have that time to catch upwith each other. 22 And soon well be moving back into our oldhouse and therell be lots and lots of cleaning to do and you

can be a big help with that. We also have to talk about how to save money. Why dont we have a family meeting and we canall give our ideas and see what we can do? 23

Id like that, said Annie. It felt good to be able to do something.

The next day, Annies dad said to her, Were going to drive back to our oldhouse to have a look at it and see what needs to be done. Do you want to come?


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Sure! said Annie. She was really excited at seeing her old house again.

When they saw the house though, Annie was really upset. It looked terrible.There was mud everywhere. Furniture was missing or broken. A lot of Anniesthings were gone. Everything was dirty and horrible. Annie cried and cried. 24

Annie could see that her parents were upset too.

I feel really sad seeing our house like this, said her mom.

Weve lost so many things, said her dad. He looked shocked andangry.

Will we be able to clean it up? asked Annie.

Yes, said her mom , but it will take an awful lot of work and Idont think we can get things to look exactly the same as they did before.

Annie felt awful. She wanted things to be exactly the same as before.

One day Annie was walking in the woods near Aunt Jennyshouse. They were moving back to their old house the nextday. Annie really wanted to move back to her old home butshe also felt scared. She didnt want to see all the dirt andmud and broken things that were left over from the flood.She thought that maybe when she was back in her old house,she would miss her toys and clothes and all the things she

had lost even more than before. She sat down next to a bigold tree and started to cry.

Are you all right, little girl? asked a big deep voice.

Annie jumped up in shock. She looked around her. No one was there. But thevoice came again. Are you all right, little girl? It sounded like a nice friendlyvoice.

Where are you? said Annie. She still couldnt see anyone.

Im here, said the voice. Right next to you.

But theres no one next to me, said Annie. Only a tree.


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Thats me, said the voice, a little crossly. And maybe you could leave out theonly. Trees are very important beings you know.

Oh, said Annie, feeling a little embarrassed. Im sorry, I didnt mean to offend you, Mr. Tree. Its just that...well...Its just that I never knew trees couldtalk.

Not many people do know that, said the tree. There just arent that manyhumans that we decide to talk to.

Oh, said Annie. She felt very honored that a tree haddecided to talk to her.

So what were you crying about? asked the tree. Youlooked like you were very sad.

Well, said Annie, Ive lost all my things. And she told

the tree all about the flood.

The tree listened quietly and waited until Annie had finished. Yes, it said,Id heard about that big flood. Some of my cousins were in it. Trees that live in

your town. They sent some birds out to tell us what was happening.

The tree was silent for a moment. Its branches swished gently in the breeze asif it was thinking.

So youve lost all your things, it said sympathetically. I know what that feels

like.

Annie was puzzled. But how could you? she asked. You dont have any thingsto lose.

The tree looked at her. Annie was sure that it looked ather, even though she couldnt see any eyes. Oh little

girl, the tree said, you dont know very much abouttrees. Its branches waved again in the breeze. Let metell you a story, it said.

Oh good, said Annie. She loved being told stories.Especially by trees.


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When I was just a baby tree, the tree began, I got my first leaves. I was so excited. I gave every single one of them a name. We used to talk to each other allday and sometimes at night when some of them couldnt sleep, wed chat awaythen too. It was the loveliest spring and summer. The skies were blue and myleaves were the loveliest green. They were the loveliest leaves Id ever seen. Then

fall came and the weather began to change their colors. They were beautiful colors, reds and oranges and yellows. I was very proud of them.

The tree paused. And then one day, a terrible thing happened.

Annie leaned closer to the tree. She found she was holding her breath.

My leaves started to fall off me, said the tree. They fell right off my branchesand onto the ground. I tried to hold onto them, but I couldnt. They just fell off.

And more and more of them kept falling.

Oh, said Annie. She felt upset just thinking about it.

I felt terrible, said the tree . I didnt know what washappening. And all the big trees were busy saying good-bye to their own leaves. They didnt have time for me.

Annie gave the tree a hug. Oh, she said. You musthave felt so sad.

I did, said the tree. And thank you for the hug. Thatwas very nice.

Well, it continued, I was really, really sad. And upset. And angry. I felt likethat all winter. And then one day, I felt this really strange feeling. It was kind oflike a tingling, like a kind of buzzy feeling all along my branches. I was scared. Ididnt know what was happening. I started to cry. And then one of the big treesheard me.

Annie nodded. Yes, she said. What happened then?

I told the big tree what was happening and how scared I was and how sad Idbeen to lose my leaves. The big tree leaned closer to me and said, Oh, you poorlittle tree. Didnt anyone tell you that we lose our leaves every fall? And then we

get them back every spring. Thats what the tingly feeling is. Its the new leaves growing back.


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I was so excited, said the tree. So you mean Ill get all my leaves back? Iasked the big tree. They wont be exactly the same leaves, said the big tree,theyll be new leaves. Your old leaves are already doing different jobs. Theyrehelping the ground grow plants and keeping the soil nice and rich.

Annies tree continued . But I want my old leaves, I said to the big tree. I know its hard to say good-bye to things, said the big tree, but we trees have to. If you only had your old leaves, you could never grow any bigger. You have awhole lot of leaves that youre going to meet in your lifetime as a tree. And eachleaf will be special in a different way. And if you only kept the old leaves, you

could never meet the new leaves.

So you mean nothing will stay the same ? I said to the big tree. Well, said thebig tree, `leaves dont stay the same. But some things do. Our roots stay the

same. And even though our branches change and our trunks grow bigger, theinside of us stays the same. And well all still be here, all the other trees, your

friends and family.I felt better to know that, said the tree to Annie. And as I

got bigger I found that that happens to a lot of us. Snakeshave to lose their skins, so they can grow new ones.

Animals lose their beautiful winter furcoats so they can grow cooler summer ones. I learned that you cant growbigger without changing. And you know what else Ilearned? Even though its scary to change, lots of goodthings happen. Like, I can see heaps more as a big tree than

I could as a little tree. It makes the forest much moreinteresting. 25

Gosh, said Annie. I never thought of things thatway. She liked the trees story. It made her feel better

just thinking about it. Humans dont have leaves, she said thoughtfully. But maybe my toys and clothesare like your leaves. And our roots must be our familyand our friends. And Ive still got those. And whatsinside us is still us, even though the outside of us might

change or grow bigger, just like you. 26

Thats right, said the tree.


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Thats exactly right. Are your cousins all right? she said, suddenlyremembering that her tree had said it had cousins in her town.

Yes, said the tree. Theyre all right. A bit muddy. But theyre all right.

Maybe I could help clean them up when I go home? said Annie. Ill have a lot of cleaning up to do anyway.

Thats very nice of said the tree when it was suddenly interrupted.

A great booming voice said, Cleaning up? Did I hear someone say cleaningup?

Annie looked around in surprise. The voice seemed to be coming from very highup. There was a very, very tall tree next to hers. Could it be...?

I see Ill have to lower my voice, said the neighboring tree. And suddenly the

voice was coming from much lower down in the very tall trees trunk.I can tell you about cleaning up, said the very tall tree . One summer a few

years back, we had a forest fire. It was terrible. Went right through the forest.

Yes, I remember that, said Annies tree.

Everything was black. Our leaves were burned, our trunks were black, ourbranches were broken. There was no grass left, no flowers. All the animals hadrun away. Everywhere you looked, it was a mess. We thought nothing would ever

come back again.But by the next Spring, the tall tree said, youwouldnt believe it. Our leaves came through. Thebirds and animals came back. The flowers poppedup and the grass grew back.

Yes, said Annies tree excitedly. It was incredible.

And look at it now, said the tall tree. You could never tell we had a fire at all.

Annie looked around. It was true. Everything looked lush and green andwonderful. You would never believe it had once looked burned and black anddead.


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Do you know, said Annies tree, that we have some relations in a far, far off country on the other side of the world. Theyre trees that live in Australia, whereit gets very hot in summer and there are lots of forest fires. Those trees have even

found ways to let the forest fires help them grow stronger and plant their seeds properly so that the new trees grow up healthy and strong. Theyve made the forest fires their friends. 27

Annie was amazed. She felt excited thinking of all the things the trees had toldher. Thank you, she said to both of the trees. Thank you so much.

She ran back to Aunt Jennys place. She felt so much happier.

It took a lot of work to move back into Annies oldhouse. There was so much cleaning to do. Annie feltvery tired sometimes. And sometimes she would feel asif it would never be all right again. But then sheremembered the trees stories and she would feel better.She thought of the lovely green forest that had oncebeen burnt all black and she knew her home would belovely again. She told her mother the story.

Thank you for telling me that story, said Annies mom. It makes me feelbetter too, to think of that...sometimes I get sad and angry too. But now Ill beable to think of the trees stories.

One day Annie was down visiting the trees cousins. She had helped clean the

mud off them after the flood and had become friends with them. She was justchatting to one of the trees when she heard a faint crying sound.

She looked around. On a branch near her, a butterfly had just emerged from itscocoon. It was crying piteously and tiny butterfly tears were dripping from itseyes.

Whats wrong? asked Annie, bending down closer to it.

Everything said the butterfly. Ive lost everything. Ive lost all my legs andmy lovely furry skin and my warm cozy home where I was so safe. Ive lost

everything.

Oh, butterfly, said Annie. I know just how you feel. Let me tell you a story.


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This handout is part of 2001, FIS Parent/Child Development Focus Issue , From Doris Brett, M.A., Victoria, Australia. Reprint permission granted exclusively to members of Family Information Services .

And she told the butterfly the story of the flood andthe trees and how her house was looking better all thetime and how she was happy again and playing withher friends. And, she said, I have some extra specialnews for you.

You have? said the butterfly, looking surprised.

Yes, said Annie. You see, youre not a caterpillaranymore. Youve become a butterfly, and that means

youre beautiful. Youre one of the most beautiful thingsaround. And you can fly!

I can fly? squeaked the butterfly, Ive always wanted to fly, but I was sure Inever could.

Well, you couldnt when you were a caterpillar, said Annie. But now that youre a butterfly, you can. Why dont you give it a try?

Oh, Im so excited! said the butterfly. Can I really fly?

Yes, said Annie. Go on, flap your wings and try.

The butterfly flapped its wings a little and suddenly took offinto the air. It shrieked with delight. Thank you! Thank

you! it said to Annie, as it circled over her head. Ill alwaysremember this! I love being a butterfly! 28

Annie smiled as she ran home. She smiled all the way home.

The End


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2001 ISSN 1042-0878 FI-P/CD - 16

Footnotes for Annies Story by Doris Brett

1. Change the name and other details to suit your childs situation. Make the name of thehero/heroine one that is similar to yourchilds name, but not identical.

2. Children are very good at picking up onwhen something is wrong in the family.

3. Children often worry that they are the causeof parents anxieties or bad moods.

4. Tell children the truth. Theres no point inlying about a situation you will lose yourcredibility and your childs trust.

5. Allowing the child to assist lets her feelstronger and less helpless in the face ofthreat.

6. This sense of community spirit andsolidarity can be a very positive andcomforting experience.

7. Reassure your children that you will takecare of their safety.

8. Children will recognize this truth, as indeedwill adults.

9. Its important to recognize your childrensfeelings of loss and anger. Just tellingchildren to be brave denies them theopportunity to express the distressing

emotions they are likely to be feeling.10. Children are likely to remain concerned for

their safety long after the danger is over.

11. This helps them feel stronger and more incontrol.

12. If the dangers are imaginary, magicalcreatures like monsters, then imaginary,magical weapons work very well. Theres nopoint in telling children that their monstersarent real. Their monsters are as real to

them as muggers on a darkened street are to you.*

13. Often parents are so busy with their ownemotions and the multitude of practicalissues after a disaster that they have lesstime than usual for the children.

14. Often children will worry that their badnessor naughty behavior somehow caused thedisaster.

15. All of these feelings are typical of thoseexperienced by children in the wake of anatural disaster.

16. Its important to let children know it wasnttheir fault.

17. This story is a helpful way of giving childrena new perspective on this issue.

18. This is always a useful question to askchildren.

19. Its helpful to acknowledge that you havebeen reacting to the losses too.

20. Make sure you let children know that eventhough you may be stressed, you willcontinue to take care of them and ensuretheir safety.

21. Children often feel left out in the chaos andbusyness that accompany a natural disaster.

22. Putting aside some special time each day just to be with your children is enormouslyhelpful.

23. Letting your children feel they have ahelpful role to play allows them to feelstronger and less helpless.

24. The sight of the ruined home or town can beenormously distressing for everyone. Itsimportant to recognize and acknowledgethese feelings.

25. This story offers a different andstrengthening perspective on the issues ofloss and growth.

26. This allows Annie to recognize that she hasnot lost the truly important things in her life her family and friends.

27. This story allows Annie to see a way inwhich disasters can even inspire growth.

28. This allows Annie to use her experience tohelp others something that helps her feeleven stronger and more competent.

Source: Family Information Services ,Minneapolis, MN. Phone: (800) 852-8112 orwebsite: www.familyinfoserv.com

By Doris Brett, MA, Clinical Psychologist and author of Annie Stories and More Annie Stories: TherapeuticStorytelling Techniques, 56 Almond Street, Caulfield3162, Victoria, Australia 1997

annie stories

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