Poll: Most Annoying Office HabitsSource: rediff.com

Prof. Rafath Razia

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Many of us spend more time in our offices than we spend at home

Our colleagues form a more integral part of our lives than our spouses ever will

Some of us have worked with and known our colleagues for longer than we've known our spouses

That really does say something about a workplace doesn't it?

It won't be unfair to say that little things our co-workers do probably tick us off more than what our partners do at home

So here's a list of the most annoying office habits that make us want to kill our colleagues:

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•There are those who think they must walk out of their bed and walk straight into the office•The idea of having a bath, shaving or wearing clean clothes seems plain alien to them •All they know is that they must report to work irrespective of whether they've bathed, shaved or brushed their teeth•It doesn't matter to them if there's a meeting with the CEO or an important bunch of clients are coming over to discuss an important deal•Tell them to dress better and at best they'll turn up in a crumpled shirt over the same pair of jeans they've been wearing for the last three months

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•Some of us like to keep our desks spic and span -- papers in order, pens, pencils and other stationery in one corner, the computer screen at a particular angle and no other •But universe has a way of balancing things out•So on the other end of the spectrum, are those who survive because of the madness without the method•The less we speak about their desks the better -- cluttered, messy and always in a state of complete chaos! •Don't be surprised if you happen to find a week-old salad somewhere beneath those piles of papers and junk •Be gladWe can assure you that somewhere in there will be a piece of pizza that was ordered last Diwali.

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•Yes we admit that hot new recruit makes us weak in our knees too but hey it doesn't mean we head towards the coffee machine or take a smoke break every time she does!•The thing with an incessant flirt is that he doesn't get it at all •She may be giving him the coldest of the vibes but that won't make a difference to him•He'll keep hitting "I'm heading in the same direction as you. Let me drop you!"and hitting "Oh I didn't know you were here too!"and hitting!"Of course I looove Shakespeare!"•Till of course the girl invites him for her wedding. •Then he'll sulk for a good t-w-e-l-v-e hours before starting over with another girl

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•This breed of people is perhaps worse than the incessant flirt•Despite his annoying habits, no real flirt will ever say anything nasty to any woman•It's simply not in his nature -- being nasty to a woman or sexist doesn't fit into his scheme of things•The sexist on the other hand will make sure you're made to feel miserable about being a woman, tell you exactly what you should do and pass remarks that will make you want to aim a kick at his you-know-what

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•Picture this: you're sitting there poring over the all-important presentation you're supposed to make when he walks in, his new iPhone welded to his ears, hard selling some product of your company to a prospective client at the decibel of a vuvuzela•Try explaining that you need to work and he'll probably just give you a why-the-hell-are-you-disturbing-me look, roll his eyes and continue talking anyway, without any change in his pitch or volume•These are the guys who make you wish people came with a volume control knob!

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•The idea of personal hygiene is completely and utterly lost on some of us• Effectively, so is the concept of flushing after the deed is done Sadly (and mysteriously) you never seem to catch them as they're stepping out of the loo so you can confront them•We suppose 'doing it' surreptitiously and getting away without noticing is one of the superpowers you acquire when you're unhygienic

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•We suppose most of those who play music out loud are the 'creative' types you find in media houses and ad agencies •Or else the techies who like to believe they're writing poetry in the binary language.•Whether anyone is getting disturbed or not is quite simply not their concern•The hitch with both these characters is that neither seems to be aware of the technological advancement in hardware•There is, as some of us would know, a wonderful invention called yep a pair of headphones

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•Admit it, however old some of us get, our fascination with stationery never ends •The colourful paper clips, post its and freshly sharpened pencils do kinda add some personality to the desk, don't they?•Then of course the stationery pincher makes his appearance•In the middle of the night, when the last of the lights has been turned off and the security is done with his last round of the day, the stationery pincher emerges from his hiding•And before you know it, when you clock in the next morning it's gone -- first the stapler, then that lovely note pad, followed by the pens -- of all four colours, even the whiteboard marker and finally the pen stand!•Guess that's what you get when you've pinched all of that from the office stationery cupboard!

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•Borrowing money and forgetting Umm could I borrow a hundred bucks? I've run out of change and I need to pay the cabbie downstairs!"•Looking at the urgency on your colleague's face you take pity on him and hand out that last currency note in your wallet•Sounds familiar?•Yup! That's Mr/Ms Borrow-and-forget!•What these folks don't understand that the very idea of 'borrowing' involves 'returning' what they've taken and not presuming that it is theirs for the keeping!•Now they may not be doing this on purpose but it is, as many of you would admit, quite irritating indeed•Sadly it boils down to how shameless you can get and ask that money back from him/her!

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•Sure we understand there's a protocol in all workplaces •All official emails that need your boss to be in the know should be marked to him/her•The operative phrase here being 'need to know'!•Imagine writing off an email to the invisible admin guy in the other end of the office about, let's say, the flickering tube light over your head and marking your boss on it•Or then pointing out a spelling mistake in the 243'd slide of a 372-slide presentation your colleague's made AND CC-ing your boss on it•Irritating enough? Get the point •So you see the boss doesn't always need to know everything •In fact the lesser he knows the better it will be for you no?

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•Here you are smack in the middle of an intense discussion when she strolls into the cabin and asks you for your signature to sanction an extra stock of toilet papers•No amount of dirty looks you give such folks, this breed of people will never, ever get the point•Try telling them never to interrupt you and be assured that the next time they won't even if it is a matter of life and death

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•Everyone's on some social media these days but there are those who even in the middle of a huge crisis manage to get the time to poke their friends on face book, chat with their girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands/wives/mothers/daughters/(you get it right) on GTalk and tweet about how bored they are with life•Much as we hate the idea of blocking these sites in office, seeing these characters makes you understand why (for once) the IT administrator is justified in doing what he did

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•My grandmother is in the hospital"•"Today her sister got admitted too!"•"My mum fell down and broke her little toe"•"So did my sister!"•You get the drift right? •Really, there only can be so many relatives one can bump off and injure to bunk work•It's not like we don't understand what you're up to •So cut it out, folks!

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•Sure everyone does it once in a while•But there's a place and time, right? •Not smack in the middle of a board meeting where you're digging into a plate of biscuits and snacks after you've sufficiently dug into the deep recesses of your nose

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•So you've taken a personal call at your desk and are probably talking about how Athamma is being a pain in your cousin's neck•After a good 15-minute talk about Athamma, her family, your cousin and her girlfriend/boyfriend (who as it turns out is the bone of contention) you turn around and see your colleague staring right at you and without so much blinking an eyelid launches off: "I had the same problem "•Err- ok we know you love to share your family affairs with the world but does it look like we do too?

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•The t-shirt sign 'Take my advice I don't use it anyway' applies best to these folks who think it is their moral and ethical duty to offer their pearls of wisdom freely•Make the mistake of saying something innocuous and bam! Your colleague will tell you what a fool you are and what a terrible idea it was to do whatever you did•No stopping these folks; Really. 

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•First off, it's a myth that only women gossip •We can assure you from personal experience that men indulge in as much office gossip as the women•Of course the kind of gossip might differ a little bit but really there isn't anything as annoying as seeing a bunch of colleagues gossiping by the coffee machine which means one of the two things: a) They're keeping you out or b) they're gossiping about you which is most annoying!

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•Sure office parties are fun! •Everyone's having a great time, letting their hair down and you finally get the chance to chat up that hottie from marketing you've been eyeing for the last s-e-v-e-n months•The sad part -- and it's really sad we think -- are those who get drunk•Of course we do find the drunk men who dance on tables immensely funny but the ones who start hitting on women about two pegs down are the ones who deserve to smacked in the face

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•Apart from the fact that smoking is not good for your health and neither is excessive chai/coffee it simply isn't professional to disappear from your desk every half hour•Imagine you turn around to ask your colleague to take over something from you or ask him/her about the email you'd forwarded some two hours ago and you find yourself talking to an empty chair!•Half hour later you turn around again and the chair's empty again and mysteriously stays that way every time you have some work with this particular colleague•Turns out the only time you can catch him is when s/he takes that smoke/chai break, which is basically once every 20 minutes

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•Delegating, they say, is an art that's difficult to master. It's the thin line between delegating nothing to delegating EVERYTHING that matters•Sure we've come across bosses who like to have their minions do every single thing and scoot off home at the stroke of six•The worse though are those who insist on having everything their way.•So even if they do assign you a task, they'll probably spend 20 minutes telling you just how you should do it, follow it up with the same long list of instructions via email and then finally a telephone call where you'll get to hear about it all over again before of course being told how you didn't get it right•Sigh!

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• People asking personal questions• Useless Incompetent Bosses• Treating Meetings as Work• Region based groupism, grouping based on

region/place and then talk in the regional language in front of the folks who do not understand it, and talk that way deliberately

• Being rude, impolite and arrogant• HR behaving as if they are Gods gift to the

company• People wagging their tales full speed to impress

bosses, losing all dignity. • And bosses championing such d..0gs• Beautiful girls, behaving as if they are Gods gift

to the world :)• Talking about family, wife, kids at work• Not working, doing everything else including

visiting rediff :)• Scratching self at wrong body parts at wrong

times• Releasing bad gas with loud noise.