J O U R N A LDecember 2012

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Original photographs of Wilson used by kind permission of TamanduaGirl:www.livingwithanteaters.com

saturday'december the First!' Wilson cried as he opened his eyes this morning, 'Only about 120 sleeps until Xmas!'

there was great excitement when he thought he'd spotted an illuminated model anteater in one of the shop displays. He swore it must have been modelled on his great, great step uncle as it has the exact same ears.

It turns out it was only a deer, but I think it's given W an idea...

sundayWilson has just finished writing his list for Father Xmas.

I've caught a glimpse of it, and I have to say that there are some very big asks on it.

some VEry big asks.

mOndayLast night Wilson cooked a very large meal and ate far more than usual. He washed it down with a lot of ant Gin. then he announced that he was bored with waiting for Xmas and he was going to hibernate until Xmas Eve.

We both know that anteaters do not naturally hibernate, but he thought that with enough food and drink inside him, together with the current cold weather, it should be achievable.

He made me promise to post his letter to Father Xmas, and to wake him on Xmas Eve. then he took himself off to the tumble dryer and retired.

tuEsdayWilson's experiment in suspended animation, or 'One-Way time travel' as he called it, was a dismal failure, and he is in a very grumpy mood this morning.

He woke at the usual time, complaining of indigestion and a headache (ie a hangover), asking, 'Is is Xmas yet?' When he found it was only the following day he groaned, put his paws over his eyes and tried, unsuccessfully, to go back to sleep.

He was so hung-over that I had to bring his breakfast to him in his bed. after a few pints of water, two paracetamol and some fire-ants, I'm sure he'll be as good as new, but he says he's never going to try hibernating again.

decorating the Xmas tree has fallen behind schedule, so I'll try to distract him with that later.

WEdnEsdayWilson, now fully recovered from his adventure in time, has put the Xmas tree up. He has just come down from the loft with a LOad of decorations, and is going to dress the tree this afternoon.

I know he had intended to decorate the tree entirely with Pantone colour-matched decorations, but they were quite expensive so we just got three Pantone Xmastree Balls and W coordinated the other decorations as best he could.

Weather permitting, he plans to put up the outside lights tomorrow.

tHursdayWell, it took a long time but Wilson finally has the Xmas tree decorated to his satisfaction. I think it looks lovely. He says his paws are sore from the pine needles, but otherwise he's very happy. He also smells very Xmassy!

It's freezing this morning, with a heavy frost, but W intends to put up the outside lights this afternoon.

FrIdaydespite the bitter cold last night, Wilson insisted on erecting the outdoor Xmas lights.

He ignored my urging to wear a coat, saying that he couldn't do his 'best climbing' while encumbered by clothing.

I do worry about him on that ladder, but he says that climbing is one of all anteaters' greatest skills.

as soon as he'd finished putting up this star he popped in for a warm-up and a cup of hot chocolate, then he was back outside putting up more lights, even as darkness fell.

saturdayWilson just popped into the village to mail his letter to Father Xmas.

I think he's going to be a bit disappointed in some of his requests; I just can't see how santa can re-start all those cancelled tv series... but I'm sure he'll come up trumps with W's request for 'surprises'.

sundayLast night Wilson was back up on the roof making last-minute adjustments to the lights. I trust him, obviously... I just wish he'd be a bit more careful with that hammer when he's so near the windows.He insisted on doing this yesterday because he's seen a weather forecast predicting snow, and he guessed, correctly, that I wouldn't let him climb all over the house if it was snowing and slippery.

mOndayWilson was not in the best of moods last night, having spent all day in a field waiting for the promised snowfall. shortly after this photo was taken, he made antony get off the sledge and try to push him downhill... so I'm guessing antony can't have been too happy, either.

W was very scathing about the met Office, although he later conceded that he might have been looking at a weather forecast for Lewis, in scotland (more than 200 miles north of here), rather than for Lewes, a handful of miles to the south.

It's an easy mistake to make when you're overexcited.

tuEsdayto cheer Wilson up after his very disappointing sledging experience, I took him to see Father Xmas in his Grotto at the local Garden Centre.

W was very excited to meet him, and pleased to receive his gift which, once again, he refuses to open until Xmas day.

apparently antony was a bit overwhelmed by by being in the presence of the man Himself, and had to be comforted.

as W left the grotto he thought the polar bears were about to mug him for his gift, but an awkward moment was averted when a security Elf stepped in to reassure him.

I don't know why Father Xmas always sets up his grotto in Garden Centres and department stores - it seems to taint him with the unethical aura of Commercialism...

WEdnEsdayreal Polar Bears are extremely dangerous, but most people find toy Polar Bears cute and cuddly. Wilson, though, has developed a deep suspicion of them after he thought a pack of them was trying to mug him and steal his present from Father Xmas.

a security Elf from santa's Grotto explained to W that the bears were just models, but on the way out we came across some animated Polar Bears, and W got very nervous. I had to carry him out to the car and drive him home, where I calmed him down with hot chocolate.

It turns out that the Collective noun for a group of bears is a 'sleuth' or a 'sloth' of bears... which is quite ironic given that Wilson is a member of the sloth genus. I mentioned this to Wilson, who quickly corrected me, saying that the correct term for a group of POLar bears is an 'aurora'. Well, who would have guessed. don't tell me this stuff isn't educational!

tHursdayWilson has had an air of suppressed excitement about him recently, and today a delivery van drew up outside with a huge box addressed to him.

He was very secretive about it, telling me to wait outside while he opened it. after checking the contents, he returned whatever it is to the box and re-sealed it.

He won't give me any clues about what's in the box, saying only that it will be 'a big surprise!'... but past experience has taught me to expect the worst.

FrIdayWilson waited until darkness had begun to fall before he asked me to wait in the dining room while he unpacked his giant box.

after a few minutes I heard him go out the front door, followed by some grunting and scrabbling noises from above. after about an hour he came back in and invited me into the front garden, where I beheld this wondrous sight!

W had ordered a custom-made neon anteater online! He said the tail wasn't quite right, but overall he was very pleased with it.

Our house can now be recognised from several miles away. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but as W pointed out, 'there's no chance of Father Xmas missing it!'

saturdaydeeply shocked by yesterday's terrible shooting in america, Wilson spent most of the day in front of the tv watching sky news' continuous coverage as events unfolded. sometimes he held his head in his paws and closed his eyes.

sundayI don't know what Wilson is up to, but all day he's been bringing me coffee (a different kind each time - mocha, cappuccino, mochaccino, espresso, caffe americano, all without ant garnish) then spending a lot of time on the phone.

I daren't think about what he might be up to, I'm on too much of a caffein high. all I know for sure is that I'm probably not going to like it.

I can't keep my hands still after all this coffee - I've just spilled an almond and gingerbread latte down my shirt!

mOndayLast night was a landmark point in Wilson's year: it was the night the uckfield Lions Father Xmas sleigh came to visit! W put his coins in the collecting tin and received a lollipop from an elf wearing a hi-vis tabard.

W is now in the final countdown to Xmas, so I am still no closer to learning what he is planning; I only know I got very little sleep after yesterday's caffeine overload.

I hope it's nothing to do with time travel...

tuEsdaya huge consignment of cardboard boxes has just arrived!

Wilson started behaving a bit shiftily, refusing all offers of help to move them into the kitchen, which will apparently be their new home. I can't really complain as, since W does almost all the cooking, it is pretty much his domain.

However, I must admit that I am a little... curious as to what can be in all these boxes. surely not more neon signs?

WEdnEsdayWilson suffered a bit of a disappointment today when, once again, he was not selected as time magazine's Person of the year.

He confessed that he had mocked-up the cover to see how he would look once he'd received the accolade. at first he was too crestfallen to show it to me, but after a little gentle cajoling he consented to let me take a look.

I told him that, if only he had been selected Person of the year, he would have looked very fine on the cover.

this cheered him up a little, and we both agreed: there's always 2013.

tHursdayIn an attempt to cheer Wilson up after yesterday's time magazine disappointment, I took him to a local tea shop where he surprised me by telling me to order whatever I wanted as he was paying.

'I shall soon be so rich that it won't matter even if you have a cake with your coffee!' he said, generously.I demurred, opting for just a latte, saying that I thought he should wait until these riches - whatever their source - were safely in his paws.

He looked very proud as he paid for the drinks, and to both of us they tasted even more delicious than usual.

FrIdayWilson and I enjoyed a leisurely coffee together, chatting idly of this and that. I subtly guided the conversation to the topic that is concerning me a little: what is in all those cardboard boxes in the kitchen?

I thought he was about to confide in me when an alarm sounded on his iPhone. He glanced at the screen then announced that we should leave straight away as another delivery was due in a few minutes.

saturdaysure enough, as we arrived home we found a delivery van waiting outside the house.

the box being delivered was so heavy that Wilson and I had to carry it between us. When we'd taken it through to the kitchen and placed it on the floor, I offered to help W open it.

'nice try, new dad!' he replied. 'you'll find out what's in the boxes soon enough!'

I can't help thinking that sounded the tiniest bit... ominous!

sundayyesterday the postman delivered the Xmas cards from Wilson's family.

as he predicted, they were all identical. this is apparently a ploy his mother, mrs Vermilingua, employs to make sure her numerous children don't squabble over who has the best card. W, for the same reason, sends everyone in his family an identical card.

However, W was disturbed by one unexpected card; it was of a different design, bore a very torrid message and was signed 'From your secret admirer XXXXX.'

He wouldn't let me read the message as it was 'too embarrassing' but he consoled himself by observing that this year, 'whoever this person is, she hasn't stolen any of my artwork. unlike the Valentines day card!'

Can romance be in the air for young Wilson? the mystery continues...

mOndayWilson and I would like to wish aLL our friends, family and followers a VEry happy Xmas!

there won't be any updates tomorrow because we'll both be relaxing*, but look out for us again on Boxing day!

*drunk

tuEsday

Xmas day!

WEdnEsdayWe had a lovely day yesterday!

Wilson's presents included:a kitea box of dried antsan ant farmand some computer games: 'Empire of the ants' 'antbuster' 'simant'

antony received a small toy anteater.

Wilson gave me 12 new journals, a pack of top-markers and a box of rubber bands, which I thought was a very thoughtful gift.

In the evening we played twister, and W's specially-adapted version of mousetrap: anttrap!

tHursdaythe weather today was fine, so Wilson and I took his kite to the park. We had an energetic time running up and down, but the total lack of wind ensured that his kite remained firmly earthbound. W is certain the kite is faulty.

the exercise we got was good for both of us, following our Xmas over-indulgence. also, I remembered the advice the psychiatrist gave us after he had seen W: that we should spend more time together, get more exercise and fresh air, and Wilson should do things more appropriate for an anteater.

Well, if kite flying isn't appropriate, I don't know what is!

FrIdaytoday there was a light breeze, so Wilson and I headed once again for the park. this time the kite flew like a bird, and W really enjoyed himself!

He said that it reminded him of his time as a pilot, before he was cruelly grounded.

But reminded him in a good way.

saturdayWilson was very disconcerted today to learn that he had yet again been snubbed by Hm the Queen who has apparently decided to ignore his repeated requests to 'regularise' his OBE in the new year Honours list.

He says he is considering returning his OBE and becoming a republican.

I pointed out that he could hardly return his OBE if he didn't actually have it, but W dismissed my objection as 'a mere detail,' saying that the OBE was 'temporarily misplaced, probably under the sofa.'

sundayWith 2013 fast approaching, Wilson has been checking on his last year's new years resolutions, to see how well he did.

He's awarded himself three out of eight... which is muCH better than I've EVEr managed!

mOndayas I write this, Wilson is sitting in tumble dryer drawing up his new year's resolutions. He's giving each one careful consideration in order to increase his hit rate for 2013.

the other reason he's still in bed is that I promised him he can stay up until midnight tonight to see in the new year with a toast of ant Gin, so he's resting in preparation for a late night.

mOOn, the movie that caused us so much trouble, was on BBC2 last night. We both knew it was one, but neither of us mentioned it! relief!

I'm really looking forward to starting using the new journals that Wilson gave me! I'll endeavour to write more neatly next year...