appelbaum training institute

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Appelbaum Training Institute 1-800-23-CHILD

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Welcome!

We are so glad you are watching us today!!! This seminar has been

designed specifically for you in your work with children. It is packed

with information and strategies to make your work with children easier.

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We hope you enjoy the sayings at the bottom of most pages that we wrote just for you.

They were written to inspire and motivate you in your important work with children.




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Parents over-indulge children 3 ways:

1) Giving them too much of everything.

2) Over-nurturing,

3) Being too (Bredehoft, 2019).

Children who are over-indulged typically: Have everything they want.

Have no chores.

Have no rules.

Are not expected to learn skills.

Overindulging children can affect child development.

Children who are overindulged grow up to be at risk for: • Not knowing the difference between needs and wants;

• Needing constant stimulation and entertainment from others;

• Being deficient in life skills which interferes with performing daily tasks;

• Not taking responsibility for their own actions;

• Not learning important social skills which lead to interpersonal boundary issues and decision

making problems;

• Lower self-efficacy (a sense of feeling incapable of dealing effectively with life problems); and

• Overeating, overspending, and dysfunctional thinking (increased depressive thoughts).

• Paradoxically, overindulged children can develop an overblown sense of self-importance which

can lead to problems at school, on the job, and/or in relationships (Bredehoft & Clark).

When Working with Children Who Have Been Over-Indulged Know that you can make changes in their behavior.

It will take time and patience.

If a child is acting spoiled, it is a learned behavior.

Children are just doing what they have been taught to do by having their inappropriate

behavior reinforced.

Children have to learn:

______________

Empathy

Kindness

Responsibility

“Whatever behavior you put your attention on, will expand and grow.”

“I Want It Now! – Help for Overindulged Children!



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10 classroom-tested strategies that work to reduce anger, teach children better

self-regulation, how to ask what they want appropriately,

AND, just as important, how to be okay when they do not immediately receive what they want.



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Start the Day the Best Way – Mornings Made Easy

Start Your Day the Appelbaum Way Right before you walk in the room, think of what you are ______________________.

Bring your smile.

Start with a clean and well-organized classroom (NAEYC).

Add homey touches like a rocking chair

Have cubbies with children’s pictures.

If you are required to wear a mask, add a smiley face and have your picture.

Have photos on the walls of children and their families.

How to Handle the Transition from Home to School Some children have separation anxiety. This is excessive fear or anxiety about separating

from home or an attachment figure (Separation Anxiety).

Signs of separation anxiety you may see:

• Persistent distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from parents or

caregivers.

• Persistent worry about losing an attachment figure to illness, accident, or death.

• Fear of somewhere new without the attachment figure.

• Fear of being alone without the attachment figure.

• Fear of going to sleep without being near the attachment figure.

• Nightmares about separation

• Physical complaints including headaches, stomachaches when away from attachment

figure.

“Be gentle with parents and new children.

Change can be tougher but with your love and care, you can make it easier.”

Encourage the Parents to Have a Quick Good-Bye Routine.



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Have Morning Rituals to Help the Child Feel Better

Greet the child warmly.

• Greet and read.

• Acknowledge their emotions. Looks like you are sad.”

• Soothe the child.

• Have a child greeter that gives an air high five.

• Wear you best face.

• Get the child involved in something to help get past tears.

• Have a snack for children who arrive hungry.

• Play music as children enter.

• Start the morning right by having fun things for the children to do when they arrive.

• Have different stations set up with activities that are engaging.

Change them regularly do children do not get bored.

o Sleepyhead Station

o Craft Station

o Book Station

o Sticker Story Station: Provide paper that is folded that makes a book. Have stickers

on the table. Children place stickers on each page to create a story. They read their

stories to their friends when finished.

o Manipulative and Learning Toy Station

If the Child Is New to Your Class:

Do the things already mentioned, but add:

Welcome drawings from other children

Heart stickers

Special pal

_________________________ box



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During the Morning Circle, Sing Songs that are Warm, Fun, and Create Connection

Show Me Your Hands

Show me your hands, close them up tight.

Put them behind you, way out of sight.

Show me your hands, make a big clap.

Put them down gently in y-o-u-r l-a-p.

It’s Time to Come to Circle Time (Tune: Did You Ever See a Lassie?)

it’s time to come to circle, to circle, to circles

It’s time to come to circle, to circle, right now.

There’s…., and ….., and ….., and….

It’s time to come to circle, to circle right now.

What's Your Name? (Tune: Clean Up Song)

Hello! Hello! What's Your Name? What's Your Name?

Hello! Hello! What's Your Name? What's Your Name?

My name is __________ ___________! That's my name! That's my name!

My name is __________ ___________! That's my name! That's my name!

Repeat for each child's name.

Here We Are Together (Tune: Did You Ever See a Lassie?))

Here we are together, together, together. Here we are together, together again.

Here’s…., and…., and …., and ...... Here we are together, together again.

Sing until all children have been named.

The Morning Train (Tune: If You’re Happy and You Know It)

The good morning train is coming, how are you. Choo Choo!

The good morning train is coming, how are you. Choo Choo!

The good morning train is coming. The good morning train is coming.

The good morning train is coming how are you. Choo Choo!

And we all say hello to ___________ (Child says choo choo after name is called)

And we all say hello to ___________ (Child says choo choo after name is called)


And we say hello to everybody how are you! Choo Choo!

Give a Cheer (Tune: Farmer in the Dell)

_______ is here today. _______ is here today.

Let's give a cheeer. Let's give a cheer because ______ is her today. Yay!


At the end of each day, do this, so that you end in a positive way, and children don’t arrive in

fight mode the next day.

1.

2.

3.

“Believe in yourself and remember that you are a difference maker in the lives of children.”



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Words to Avoid with When Children Don’t Want to Listen

The average child hears ________ negative commands a day compared to _______

positive ones (How to be positive.)

• Don’t + verb. . Children only hear the action word.

• “Who did it? or “Who started it?” Children will generally not say, “I did.”

• “Why?” If you ask a toddler or preschooler why they did something, they often don’t know the

answer, and will make an answer up. Have you ever said any of the following 4?

o “Why can’t you be more like….?”

o “How many times have I told you….?”

o “Because I said so!”

o “Why do you always do that?”

• “NO!”

These are all words that are discouraging rather than encouraging. When used a lot, children

start to think they are bad. A child who thinks that he or she is bad, will feel badly and start

acting more and more that way (Appelbaum,).

How to Turn “No” into “Yes”

Watch how often you say, “No.”

Practice “Positive” commands instead of negative ones.

Example: Instead of, “Don’t run,” say, “Please use your walking feet.”

Find opportunities to say, “Yes.”

Example: Instead of saying, “No, you can’t play outside today because it’s raining, say,

“Tomorrow is going to be sunny so you will be able to play outside.”

Example: Instead of saying, “Don’t color on the walls,” say, “You can color on this

paper or paint on the easel. Which do you prefer?”

Four Styles of Coping When You Have a Problem

Aggressive: This occurs when the child does something, and you become angry and yell or

punish or say something you wish you had not said.

Passive: It’s the opposite of aggressive. It’s doing nothing and hoping the problem will go

away.

Here are some passive things a teacher may say.

“Is it all right if everyone is quiet now?”

“Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”

“Sarah, you are so sweet.” This is stated while Sarah is making a mess.

People who are passive hold in their feelings and what they want.

“Be careful what you say. Words are powerful.”

How to Talk to Kids so They Listen



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Passive-Aggressive: People who are passive-aggressive, are passive and hold in their feelings

and what they want. They do this for long periods of time until finally, the are unable to stand it

a second longer. The smallest thing may eventually set them off, and they explode with

aggressiveness.

Assertive: It is an appropriate way to express your needs and wants. When you are assertive,

you respect your own rights to have feelings and to express them, but you do so in a way that it

respects the rights of others too.

Power Talk:

Power Talk is a key element of being assertive. It’s a way to talk to children so they listen. It is

a way of asking for what you want and at the same time respecting the dignity of each child.

In order to use power talk and to be assertive, you have to:

Cool down.

Focus on what you want to happen.

Five Methods of Using Power Talk

• I Need Statement "I need it quiet now." "I need you to sit down." "I need you to stop.”

• Statement of Problem and Then Need

"The blocks are on the floor." Pause “I would appreciate if you would put the blocks away."

“Payton, there’s crayons on the floor ….I need you to pick them up….now

• Understanding but Persistent

"I can see that you are having fun, but I need the blocks put away and cleaned up now."

• I Feel Statement

MY FEELINGS “I feel…”

WHAT I SEE “when I see…”

MY NEED “I need…”

• Asking Questions

"I'm confused." "Please explain." "What do you mean?"

Five Components of Power Talk.

Eye Contact – Refrain from staring. Simply make eye contact when possible or appropriate.

Body Language – Shoulders, arms, and hands.

Facial Expression – Make sure you are not smiling when experiencing a problem behavior.

Voice Tone - The louder your voice, the louder children answer back.

Words - The longer your sentences are, the more the child will "tune you out." Keep it simple.

“Words matter.”



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More Positive Methods to Help Children Listen the First Time

The Components of Voice Tone and Words

Have your voice get lower and deeper.

Speak clearly.

Alternate your voice tone, sometimes speaking rapidly and sometimes slowly.

Use power pauses.

Speak enthusiastically.

Speak dramatically and confidently.

Be on the child’s eye level (Appelbaum, 2010).

Words can hurt. They can do damage to the self-esteem of children. Before you talk to

children, it is important to cool down when you are angry.

Example:

“Kailey, (Power Pause) After the child does it, say:

I need (power Pause) “Thank you.”

you to (Power Pause

put the toys away (Power Pause)

now.”

Remember: Be careful of the setting. You never want to embarrass the child.

Be careful of the timing. It needs to be a time when the child is calm so the child is in the right

emotional framework.



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Storytelling - Educational Brain Food for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Storytelling is educational brain food because it enhances:

o Imagination

o Learning new ideas (Huff, 2009)

o Vocabulary

o Personal connections

o Sequencing skills

o Making predictions

o Attentive listening skills

o Comprehension

o Spontaneity

Storytelling Tips to Guarantee Success for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Use the U-Shaped Circle.

Use fun strategies to get the children to listen.

Read the book ahead so that you know it.

Practice first (Huff)/

Be excited about what you are reading.

Be dramatic when you read.

Change voices for different characters.

Vary your voice tone, sometimes louder and sometimes softer.

Vary your voice speed, something slow and sometimes fast.

Make the book interactive.

Ask them lots of questions as you go.

Make up a song every now and then as you read.

Emphasize dramatic things. Example: “And they ALL FELL DOWN.”

Tell them a surprise is coming in the story. See if they can guess when the surprise happens.

Incorporate learning sounds.

“Once Upon a Storybook Time”

Language and Literacy Fun

Langu



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Make the book exciting.

Tell them ahead that you’re going to read them a story about….. so they can start to get

excited.

Say things like, “What do you think will happen next?”

Children love repetition so they may want the same book read over and over again.

When you read the same story many times, pause at different parts, and let them fill in a

word from the story.

Use Singing Books.

Incorporate movement.

Role play.

Use stories you make up.

Paint a “word picture story.” Tell a story about something or someone to make a point, and do

it in such a way that children can “see” the characters.

Here’s an example of the beginning of a “word picture story.”

“Little Noah was sitting all alone on a huge bench in the playground. His huge dark eyes were

wet with tears, and more tears were running down his cheek. His thin body was shaking with

sobs. He felt so alone until young Travis wheeled his wheelchair over to the bench. Travis looked

very tiny in that big wheelchair. He couldn’t move his hands well, but he sure knew how to smile.

Travis smiled at Noah and said, “You look sad.”



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Great Ideas for Expanding Language and Literacy through Stories

The Story Box for Preschoolers (Huff) Decorate a shoe box. Add one or two props to the box. During circle time, preschoolers reach in

the box and pull out the items. Together with you, they make up a story about the items.

Change the items often. Add more items as children become more proficient.

Story Bags for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Tell toddlers and preschoolers a simple story using a book. Make copies of several pages of the

book that are in a sequence, and children put the pages in order. (Note, only have a few pages for

toddlers.)

Story Circle for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Have a specific time each day dedicated to telling stories. It is Story Circle Time. Make story

time a part of the daily routine.

Sing a special song to get children to come to the story circle.

Let’s all go to the story circle, the story circle, the story circle.

Let’s go to the story circle, for story time today!

Story Trip for Preschoolers

Decorate a small suitcase. Invite children to bring items from home. Put a different item each

day in the suitcase, and during story time, children make up a fun story about the object.

Story Songs for Toddlers and Preschoolers

1. Play a song for children. Have children sing along.

2. Children draw pictures to go with songs.

3. Take all the pictures children drew and bind them together to create a book to go with the

song.

Great Tools to Enhance Story Time • Fill the dramatic play center with costumes that allow children to be characters from books.

• Add lots of participation by children. Provide materials at the art center for them to make

their own costumes.

• Add musical props, like tambourines and bells, to emphasize pages.

• Children each can have musical instruments and make music to movement parts of books.

• Have children clap their hands when you give a magical signal. This provides movement.

• Repeat phrases. Toddlers and preschoolers love the patterns. Invite toddlers and preschoolers

to chant along when there is repeated text.

• Be dramatic as you turn the page.

• Use puppets as props. Fergie Frog is going to listen to the story too. Let’s watch him and

see when he gets excited and what he says.

• Build excitement for all ages includes infants. Hold books and turn pages for infants. Show

them the pictures and talk about them. It doesn’t matter how much they understand. They

will catch your mood and the joy that comes from reading. (Note: Do this when children are

fed and contented.)

“The foundations for language and literacy are set before children enter school.”



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Do You Ever Look at Children and Wonder if Everything is Okay?

Do you have toddlers and preschoolers that have problems with:

Speech Emotional Skills

Movement Social Skills

Cognitive Skills (Developmental Delays)

A developmental delay occurs when a toddler or preschooler does not reach developmental

milestones by the expected time period.

Minor, temporary delays are not a cause for concern. Each child develops at a different pace, and

there is a wide range of what is considered typical.

Use the word _____________________ instead of “normal” when discussing developmental

milestone time frames.

Recognize the Signs of Developmental Delays Delays can happen in all areas of development or in just one or two. Difficulties in one area are

likely to influence development in other areas (How a Child Develops, 2008).

Behavioral Warning Signs Not paying attention or staying focused

Focusing on unusual objects for long periods of time

Avoiding eye-contact

Unusually frustrated when doing simple tasks others same age can do

Staring into space, rocking, or talking to self

Not seeking love and approval from caregivers

Violent behaviors on a daily basis

More aggressive and stubborn than others of same age

Gross Motor Skill Warning Signs Stiff arms and/or legs

Floppy or limp body compared to others of same age

Using one side of the body more than the other

Much clumsier than other children of the same age

Vision Warning Signs Difficulty following objects or people with eyes

Rubbing eyes frequently

Holds head in an unusual position when trying to look at objects

Difficulty finding small objects dropped on floor after 12 months old

Difficulty focusing or making eye contact

Closing one eye when looking at distant objects

One or both eyes seem unusual in size or coloring

“Although you may not have control over a child’s risk factors,

you absolutely can have a positive impact on the child’s future.”

“Is this typical?

Recognize Developmental Delays

and What to Do to Help



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Hearing Warning Signs Talking in an extremely loud or soft voice

Difficulty responding when called from across the room

Turning body so the same ear is always turned towards sounds

Has difficulty understanding or hearing after 3 years of age

Does not get startled by loud noises

Ears appear small or unusually formed

Does not develop sounds or words appropriate for age

What If You Suspect a Problem?

Be tactful when talking to parents. Do not diagnose a child.

It is a family’s decision whether a child is evaluated or not (Diguette, 2015).

Help the child with your love and acceptance.

You can make simple accommodations without a diagnosis (Diguette, 2015).

Focus your energy on helping the child.

Strategies to Help Children Who are Non-Verbal

or Have Delayed Speech Patterns

1. Make sure the toddler or preschooler can see your mouth as you form words.

2. Encourage speech.

• Talk about things that interest the toddler or preschooler.

• Pay attention to what the child looks at, points at, and plays with.

3. Don’t rush the child (Escalante, 2015).

• Wait for communication. Toddlers and preschoolers with language delays often require more

time to communicate.

• If you speak too soon, you may miss the best thing they’ve ever said.

4. Recast and expand (Escalante, 2015). When the toddler or preschooler says something

incorrectly, say it back correctly.

Ex: The child says, “Me go.” Respond by saying, “I want to go.”

5. Talk during play.

• Use short phrases.

• Repeat words.

• Focus on specific sounds within the words. Point to the area of the throat or mouth that the sound

comes from.

“A child doesn’t need a diagnosis for you to make a difference.

Support the child in the ways you know will help.”



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Use pictures (Willis, 2009).

Use sign language (Willis, 2009).

• Get a book with signs for toddlers and preschoolers.

• Use websites with sign-language dictionaries.

o www.signingsavvy.com

o www.handspeak.com

o If you go to YouTube and type in “ASL” (American Sign Language) and the

word you want to learn to sign, you can easily find videos to teach yourself.

Use a microphone.

• Some children that are normally quiet will talk into a real or pretend microphone.

• Sing songs!

• Singing songs is a powerful way to help toddlers and preschoolers develop speech.

• Singing helps brain development.

• Talk in a sing-song voice.

• Sing songs where the class echoes you.

• Sing a song and pause for the toddler or preschooler to fill in missing words or sounds.

Offer choices and encourage the child to verbalize an answer.

Help for Children Who are Slower at Grasping Concepts Help All Toddlers and Preschoolers Succeed

Follow the child’s lead. Find toys and activities that interest the child.

Set the stage for success.

• When learning new concepts, give encouragement when children try.

• Provide appropriate and adapted materials (Willis, 2009).

If the toddler is anxious, give the child something to hold or look at that is soothing.

Show a positive attitude towards all toddlers and preschoolers in your class.

Don’t treat children with developmental delays differently.

Some children aren’t in your room only to be taught, but also to teach. They will help the other

children learn to be understanding and compassionate.

Have high but realistic expectations. Always have hope.

“All children need to be loved for who they are, not what they can do.”



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References

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safety/Documents/ToiletTraining.pdf

Appelbaum, M. (2010). How to Handle Hard to Handle Preschoolers. Corwin Press: Thousand Oaks,

CA.

Appelbaum, M. (2019). How to Listen So Kids Will Talk. Appelbaum Publishing: Sugar Land, TX.

Appelbaum, M. (2014). How to Talk to Kids So They Will Listen. Appelbaum Publishing: Sugar Land,

TX.

Bardige, B.S. & Segal, M.M. (2005). Literacy with Love. Gryphon House, Lewisville, NC

Behavior problems: Teaching young children self control skills. (2002). Retrieved 4/18/21.

www.nasponline.org/resources/handouts/behavior%20template.pdf

Bilmes, J. (2016) Beyond Behavior Management (2nd Edition). Gryphon House, Lewisville, NC

CDC: Developmental Delays. Retrieved 4/18/21.

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/developmentaldisabilities/facts.html

Coping and emotional regulation from childhood to early adulthood: points of convergence &

divergence.

Cool Down Cubes: As retrieved on the worldwide web 4/18/21.

http://craftycounselorchick.blogspot.com/2012/09/cool-down-cubes.html

CSFEL, Vanderbilt: Fostering emotional literacy in young children: As retrieved 4/18/21.

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/kits/wwbtk21.pdf

Davidson Institute. As retrieved from the worldwide web 4/18/21.

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Farmer-Kris. As retrieved from the worldwide web 4/18/21.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/04/caring-empathy/

Goldberg, M.F. The qualities of great teachers as retrieved for the worldwide web 4/18/21.

http://www.ascd.org/publications/books/104138/chapters/The-Qualities-of-Great-Teachers.aspx

Hoff, M.J. (2009). Story Play: Building language and literacy one story at a time. Gryphon House: Silver Spring, MD.

Intentional teaching. Retrieved 4/18/21.

https://theeducationhub.org.nz/intentional-teaching/Jalongo, M.R. (2015). Literacy for All Young

Learners. Gryphon House: Lewisville, NC

Pica, R. (2007). Jump into Literacy: Grphyon House: Lewisville, NC

Speech and Language Development: Retrieved 4/18/21.

https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/speech-and-language

Teaching self-control. As retrieved from the worldwide web 4/18/21.

.http://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-self-control.html

Willis, C. (2009). Teaching Infants, Toddlers, and Twos with Special Needs. Gryphon House,

Lewisville, NC



http://www.nasponline.org/resources/handouts/behavior%20template.pdf

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/kits/wwbtk21.pdf

http://www.davidsongifted.org/Search-Database/entry/A10242

http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/04/caring-empathy/

http://www.ascd.org/publications/books/104138/chapters/The-Qualities-of-Great-Teachers.aspx

http://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-self-control.html