appreciating and creating story worlds - social sciencesweb/@educ/... · appreciating and creating...

Derewianka and Jones, DRAFT – NOT TO BE COPIED OR DISTRIBUTED – for publication by Oxford University Press 2012

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Appreciating and Creating Story Worlds

Aims This chapter introduces one of the major functions of language: to represent our experience of the world – in this case through stories. It considers the following questions: What are the major genres for story-telling? How are they structured to achieve their

purposes? How do students learn to read and write stories across the years of schooling? What are the major language resources for creating story worlds? How can we develop curriculum contexts for appreciating and composing stories? What are some useful classroom strategies for teaching the language of stories? Novels such as Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief, narrated by Death, inspire readers to share what they have enjoyed about the story, such as the following comments from the Goodreads website:

Occasionally, you will read a novel that offers you new ideas about what a novel can actually do, how point of view and voice can be used differently but powerfully, and how characters can be developed to such an extent that they seem more human than those we come into contact with each day. This seems to be the case with The Book Thief. If you love to read and if you love to care about the characters you read about and if you love to eat words like they're ice cream and if you love to have your heart broken and mended on the same page, this book is for you.

What is it about good stories that makes them so engaging and thought-provoking? We can suggest many reasons:

• They enable us to experience worlds different from our own, inviting us to imagine other possibilities and perspectives.

• They introduce us to people and places that we might never come across in our own world.

• They provoke us to reflect on issues and situations that arise in our lives and to sort through moral dilemmas about human nature.

Death is trying to understand the human race as much as the humans are. When "his" job becomes unbearable, he watches the color of the sky as he gathers the souls and carries them away.

And they do this by creating entertaining scenarios that engross us with their suspense, making us want to read on.

Critical reflection How many stories have you immersed yourself in over the past few weeks? How many of these were movies or television stories? How many were in print form? How was the experience of the multimodal stories different from the print stories? How many children’s or


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young adolescent stories have you read recently? How would you select a story to share with learners in your class? What criteria would you use in choosing a story for more intensive study?

Stories have always been highly valued in the curriculum, stimulating learners’ reading

enjoyment and extending their composing abilities. In this chapter we will explore a variety of stories for ages ranging from the early years through to adolescence. There are many different story genres, but here we will focus on one particular type – narratives.

Narrative stories are classified in a number of different ways. Here we will characterise them in the first instance in terms of their social purpose – to provide entertainment by posing a problem that needs to be resolved. In the process of entertaining, they might pass on cultural traditions and values or they might provide insights into the human condition or they might simply captivate, comfort, distract, or amuse. The social purpose helps us to predict the way in which the story will unfold, passing through a number of stages and phases in achieving its goal of entertaining.

Beyond their basic social purpose, we can categorise narratives in terms of their field, tenor and mode. The field might be reflected in the subject matter of the story: adventure, horror, romance, and so on. The tenor relates to the audience to whom the story is directed (such as young adolescents, reluctant readers, and boys) and the relationship between the author and the reader (eg parent and child, teacher and students) and between the characters in the story. And the mode refers to the particular medium employed or form that the story takes: oral, animated, illustrated, and the like. GENRE: Narrative

SOCIAL PURPOSE: To entertain (determines overall structure)

Field (‘subject matter’) eg

Tenor (‘audience’) eg Mode (‘form and medium’) eg

• traditional or contemporary

• classic or popular culture

• fiction, non-fiction, faction

• detective • adventure • science fiction • horror • romance • quest • soap opera • fairy tales • bush ballads

• texts from diverse

cultural perspectives (Indigenous Australian

• children’s stories • junior novels • teenage romance • boys • adolescent • known adult • unknown audience • peers • parent • in children’s

magazines • in tween mags • for an informed

reader of sophisticated literature

• written • oral (scripted, improvised,

reading aloud) • visual – still and moving

(comics; manga; picture books; feature films; short films; animation)

• multimodal

• face-to-face • television • film, video • print (book, magazine, lift-

the-flap books) • digital/electronic (interactive

storybooks/CD-ROMs, e-books, e-zines, immersive environments, hyperfiction)

• forms typically taken by


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ancestral stories/ Dreaming stories; contemporary indigenous literature; literature of the Asia-Pacific region; British literature; American literature; Australian literature)

stories: novel; graphic novels; novellas; short story; cumulative story; chapter books; repetitive texts; narrative poems; verse novels; ballads; song lyrics

Critical reflection Identify a variety of narratives that you are familiar with and try to characterise them in terms of their field, tenor and mode. For example: a multimodal picture book (mode) for young children (tenor) about a naughty rabbit (field). Try to describe as many different combinations of field, tenor and mode as you can.

How narratives unfold Most narratives begin by introducing the character/s and providing some context to

orient the reader, such as the setting in time and place. The key characteristic of a narrative, however, is that it involves a complication that needs to be resolved. It is the complication that creates suspense and entices the reader to read on.

Not all narratives follow the pattern of Orientation, Complication and Resolution. Literary texts like to play around with patterns. You might, for example, have a story that begins with a Complication, like the one below. Or it might start with the Resolution and work backwards. Or there might be multiple Complications and pseudo-Resolutions. There might also be other stages that are optional, such as the Moral stage of a fable or the Coda, which makes a comment.

There are many different types of stories. Not all of them involve a Complication. We usually reserve the term ‘narrative’ for those stories that have a strong Complication stage. Many short stories, for example, often don’t follow the pattern of narratives. Some are written as a ‘slice of life’ – a brief vignette that illustrates a moral issue with a quick brush stroke. (Such a story is often referred to as an ‘exemplum’.) Some might simply present a multi-layered scenario for the reader to make of it what they will. Or they might be an amusing anecdote or a literary recount. Some picture books have a cumulative, repetitive structure which involves no problem to be solved. In order to decide what type of story we’re dealing with, we need to identify the stages it goes through.

Remember that the stages of a genre are not ‘straitjackets’ to be taught as formulae, but are tools to help us reflect on how texts are structured in ways that achieve their purposes.

Narratives for young children Young children have access these days to narratives in a multitude of media and

formats: picture books, lift-the-flap books, videos, animations and interactive stories on DVDs. Here we will look at a print story, accompanied by a few illustrations from the original text.


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Read and enjoy the story, noting the stages through which it passes.

Critical reflection Why not read it out aloud to practise your story-telling skills? Think about: - when would you pause for effect? (eg ‘… without his purr.’) - how would you raise and lower your voice, using effective intonation? (eg ‘ ‘Is this my

purr?’ he pondered.’) - are there points where you might use louder and softer volume? (eg ‘The fridge hummed

softly …’) - how would you say the dialogue parts in ways that capture the mood, the situation, and

the personality of the character? (eg ‘My openers of cans! My pourers of milk! My strokers of fur!’)

- where might you inject some emotional tone? (eg ‘Dejectedly, Cuddlepuss wandered woozily down the gloomy corridor to the back door in a down-tail mood.’)

- when might you change the pace? (eg ‘He slowly licked his silky tabby coat’; ‘he promptly set off.’)

- how might you involve students in the reading? (eg doing the various ‘noises’ (‘drip, drip, drip, drop’), asking questions (‘Where do you think his purr has gone?’), getting them to predict (eg ‘Is my purr down here?’), drawing their attention to the pictures)

Text xx The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

Stages and phases

The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

Complication

Cuddlepuss woke one morning without his purr. His house was quiet and strangely empty. ‘Where is my purr?’ wondered Cuddlepuss, who was normally purrrfectly happy and contented. He slowly licked his silky tabby coat with his sandpaper tongue and thought hard. ‘When did I have it last?’ But like all cats he was not very good at remembering yesterday. ‘I will go and find my purr,’ decided Cuddlepuss and he promptly set off.

Attempted Resolution

Cuddlepuss started by searching in the bathroom. Drip, drip, drip, drop, went the leaky old tap. ‘Is this my purr?’ he pondered. No, the plopping drippity dropping sound was not his purr. ‘Is my purr down here?’ No, it was not in the place where his unfurry friends sometimes sat to read the newspaper.

Attempted Resolution Attempted

He scampered into the bedroom where he remembered hearing his purr whenever he snuggled into the warm friendly folds of the blankets. Cuddlepuss noticed a sound very like his purr. Buzz, buzz, buzz. ‘Is this my purr?’ No, it was just a stray fly bumbling around the deserted room. He slunk downstairs to the kitchen where there were lots of interesting sounds. Humm, humm, humm. The fridge hummed softly and it smelt good.


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Resolution Cuddlepuss was a clever cat. He knew how to open the fridge and look inside. ‘Is my purr here?’ ‘No, not even inside the sausages’ thought Cuddlepuss, feeling rather full.

Attempted Resolution Attempted Resolution

He prowled around the empty kitchen. A sound came from under the cupboard. Scratch, scratch, scratch, squeak. ‘That sound could be my purr.’ But the scratchy squeaky ran away from his fine, sharp claws. Across the hall in the living room, a pleasant tick, tick, tock came from the clock. ‘Could that be my purr?’ he wondered. Cuddlepuss climbed up to inspect the ticky tocky clock, but a little yellow bird popped out and startled him with a loud ‘Cuckoo!’ ‘Meeooww!’ yelled Cuddlepuss in a rather undignified manner.

Attempted Resolution

In the laundry room the washing monster made lots of loud, wet, gurgling noises. Swish, swish, swash. ‘Is my purr having a wash?’ Cuddlepuss stared at the churning contraption until his whiskers felt dizzy. ‘No, my purr is not there. It hates getting wet.’ Dejectedly, Prowlpuss wandered woozily down the gloomy corridor to the back door in a down-tail mood. ‘Poor me,’ sighed Cuddlepuss forlornly. He tried to cheer himself up with a drink of milk and some chocky biscuits.

Resolution And then he heard a sound. Lots of sounds, coming into the house. Voices of his two-legged unfurry friends. ‘My openers of cans.’ ‘My pourers of cream.’ ‘My strokers of fur.’ They were home and they had found his purr. His whole body shuddered and juddered and quivered and quaked with rapturous joy.

Adapted from a story by Michele Coxon

Critical reflection Did you notice how the story began straight away with the Complication? What do you think the Complication was? How was it resolved? How would you discuss the Complication and its Resolution with young children? How would you related it to their own experience? What is the function of the ‘Attempted Resolutions’ in the story? The illustrations in children’s picture books do a number of jobs. For example: • they can simply replicate what is in the verbal text – very useful when young children are

making links between the words and the pictures to understand the meaning of the story;


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• they can extend what is in the verbal text, enhancing the meaning of the story and provoking the imagination;

• they can contradict what is in the verbal text, setting up alternative interpretations and multi-layered meanings;

• they can make a link to the following page, helping children to predict what is coming; and

• they can contribute to the emotional impact of the story.

Critical reflection Look at the pictures accompanying the story above. What kinds of jobs do you think they are doing?

Narratives for older children Older children these days are blessed with an abundance of rich narratives to enjoy and

stimulate their imaginations. Aside from contemporary stories, there are also narratives of enduring value that are part of their literary heritage. Here we will look at one such story – The Loaded Dog by Henry Lawson, set in the Gold Rush era. The Loaded Dog tells the story of three mates mining for gold who decide to use their explosives to catch fish by blowing up the water holes. But when the stick of dynamite has been prepared and left unattended, it is picked up by their mongrel retriever who drags the fuse through the fire and bounds after the fleeing men who scatter in all directions. …

This is a rollicking Australian yarn, based on a true story involving Lawson’s father. Here we will provide an abridged version of the story – but it is worth reading in its full length.

Read through the story first for enjoyment (preferably out loud, enjoying the rhythms in an Aussie drawl), and then we’ll discuss how it is structured to achieve its purpose of entertaining.

Text xx The Loaded Dog

Stages and phases

The Loaded Dog

Orientation • Introduction

of characters

• Setting

Dave Regan, Jim Bently, and Andy Page were sinking a shaft at Stony Creek in search of a rich gold quartz reef, which was supposed to exist in the vicinity. There is always a rich reef supposed to exist in the vicinity; the only questions are whether it is ten feet or hundreds beneath the surface, and in which direction. …

• Context for complication • Problem • Response to

problem • Reflection • Event

There was plenty of fish in the creek, fresh-water bream, cod, catfish, and tailers. The party were fond of fish, and Andy and Dave of fishing. … But now it was winter, and these fish wouldn't bite. … Dave got an idea. "Why not blow the fish up in the big water-hole with a cartridge?" he said. "I'll try it." … Andy made a cartridge about three times the size of those they used in the rock. Jim Bently said it was big enough to blow the bottom out of the river. The inner skin was of stout calico; Andy stuck the end of a six-foot piece of fuse well down in the powder and bound the mouth of the bag firmly to it with whipcord. The idea was to sink the cartridge in the water with the open end of the fuse attached to a float


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• Event

on the surface, ready for lighting. … Then he went to the campfire to try some potatoes, which were boiling in

their jackets in a billy, and to see about frying some chops for dinner. …

• Introduction of character

• Description • Anecdote

They had a big black young retriever dog - or rather an overgrown pup, a big foolish, four-footed mate called Tommy, who was always slobbering round them and lashing their legs with his heavy tail that swung round like a stock-whip. Most of his head was usually a red, idiotic, slobbering grin of appreciation of his own silliness. He seemed to take life, the world, his two-legged mates, and his own instinct as a huge joke. He'd retrieve anything: he carted back most of the camp rubbish that Andy threw away. They had a cat that died in hot weather, and Andy threw it a good distance away in the scrub; and early one morning the dog found the cat, after it had been dead a week or so, and carried it back to camp, and laid it just inside the tent flaps, where it could best make its presence known when the mates should rise and begin to sniff suspiciously in the sickly smothering atmosphere of the summer sunrise. …

• Event Andy was cook today; Dave and Jim stood with their backs to the fire, as Bushmen do in all weathers, waiting till dinner should be ready. The retriever went nosing round after something he seemed to have missed. … Dave glanced over his shoulder to see how the chops were doing and bolted. … Jim Bently looked behind and bolted after Dave. Andy stood stock still, staring after them.

Complication • Response to

complication

"Run, Andy! Run!" they shouted back at him. "Run ! ! ! Look behind you, you fool!" Andy turned slowly and looked, and there, close behind him, was the retriever with the cartridge in his mouth wedged into his broadest and silliest grin. And that wasn't all. The dog had come round the fire to Andy, and the loose end of the fuse had trailed and waggled over the burning sticks into the blaze; Andy had slit and nicked the firing end of the fuse well, and now it was hissing and spitting properly.

Andy's legs started with a jolt; his legs started before his brain did, and he made after Dave and Jim. And the dog followed Andy.

Dave and Jim were good runners - Jim the best - for a short distance; Andy was slow and heavy, but he had the strength and the wind and could last. The dog leapt and capered round him, delighted as a dog could be to find his mates, as he thought, on for a frolic. Dave and Jim kept shouting back, "Don't foller us! Don't foller us, you coloured fool!" but Andy kept on, no matter how they dodged.

• Response to

complication

They could never explain, any more than the dog, why they followed each other, but so they ran, Dave keeping in Jim's track in all its turnings, Andy after Dave, and the dog circling round Andy, the live fuse swishing in all directions and hissing and spluttering and stinking; Jim yelling to Dave not to follow him, Dave shouting to Andy to go in another direction, to 'spread’, and Andy roaring at the dog to go home. Then Andy's brain began to work, stimulated by the crisis: he tried to get a running kick at the dog, but the dog dodged; he snatched up sticks and stones and threw them at the dog and ran on again.

• Response to

complication • Response to

complication

The retriever saw that he'd made a mistake about Andy, and left him and bounded after Dave. Dave, who had the presence of mind to think that the fuse's time wasn't up yet, made a dive and a grab for the dog, caught him by the tail, and as he swung round snatched the cartridge out of his mouth and flung it as far as he could: the dog immediately bounded after it and retrieved it. Dave roared and cursed at the dog, who, seeing that Dave was offended, left him and went after Jim, who was well ahead. Jim swung to a sapling and went up it like a native bear; it was a young sapling, and Jim couldn't safely get more than ten or twelve feet from the ground. The dog laid the cartridge, as carefully as if it was a kitten, at the foot of the sapling, and capered and leaped and whooped joyously round


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• Reflection

under Jim. The big pup reckoned that this was part of the lark. …

• Event • Setting • Extension of

complication

The dog bounded off after Dave, who was the only one in sight now. … There was a small hotel or shanty on the creek, on the main road, not far from the claim. Dave was desperate; the time flew much faster in his stimulated imagination than it did in reality, so he made for the shanty. There were several casual Bushmen on the verandah and in the bar; Dave rushed into the bar, banging the door to behind him. "My dog!" he gasped, in reply to the astonished stare of the publican, "the blanky retriever - he's got a live cartridge in his mouth."

• Response to

complication

The retriever, finding the front door shut against him, had bounded round and in by the back way, and now stood smiling in the doorway leading from the passage, the cartridge still in his mouth and the fuse spluttering. They burst out of that bar. Tommy bounded first after one and then after another, for, being a young dog, he tried to make friends with everybody.

• Setting • Introducing

character • Description

• Problem • Reaction to

problem • Event • Introduction

of characters

• Description • Event

The retriever went in under the kitchen, amongst the piles, but, luckily for those inside, there was a vicious yellow mongrel cattle dog sulking and nursing his nastiness under there - a sneaking, fighting, thieving canine whom neighbours had tried for years to shoot or poison. Tommy saw his danger - he'd had experience from this dog - and started out and across the yard, still sticking to the cartridge. Halfway across the yard the yellow dog caught him and nipped him. Tommy dropped the cartridge, gave one terrified yell, and took to the bush. The yellow dog followed him to the fence and then ran back to see what he had dropped. Nearly a dozen other dogs came from round all the corners and under the buildings, spidery, thievish, cold-blooded kangaroo-dogs, mongrel sheep and cattle dogs, vicious black and yellow dogs that slip after you in the dark, nip your heels, and vanish without explaining, and yapping, yelping small fry. They kept at a respectable distance round the nasty yellow dog, for it was dangerous to go near him when he thought he had found something which might be good for a dog to eat.

• Event

Resolution

He sniffed at the cartridge twice, and was just taking a third cautious sniff when ... It was a very good blasting-powder - a new brand that Dave had recently got up from Sydney; and the cartridge had been excellently well made. …

• Reflection Bushmen say that that kitchen jumped off its piles and on again. When the smoke and dust cleared away, the remains of the nasty yellow dog were lying against the paling fence of the yard looking as if he had been kicked into a fire by a horse and afterwards rolled in the dust under a barrow, and finally thrown against the fence from a distance. …

Dénouement For half an hour or so after the explosion there were several bushmen round behind the stable who crouched, doubled up, against the wall, or rolled gently on the dust, trying to laugh without shrieking. … Dave decided to apologise later on, 'when things had settled a bit', and went back to camp. And the dog that had done it all, Tommy, the great, idiotic mongrel retriever, came slobbering round Dave and lashing his legs with his tail, and trotted home after him, smiling his broadest, longest, and reddest smile of amiability, and apparently satisfied for one afternoon with the fun he'd had. Andy chained the dog up securely, and cooked some more chops.

Coda And most of this is why, for years afterwards, lanky, easy going bushmen, riding lazily past Dave's camp, would cry, in a lazy drawl and with just a hint of the nasal twang: 'El-lo, Da-a-ve! How's the fishin' getting on, Da-a-ve?'


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Critical reflection As you read the interpretation below of how the story is structured, keep referring back to the stages and phases indicated in the left hand column above. Do you agree with the analysis? Are there parts which you would have labelled differently? Remember that descriptions of stages and phases don’t represent a ‘recipe’ for writing – they simply try to capture the way in which the story is achieving its purpose.

The narrative follows the characteristic stages of: Orientation Complication Resolution

Within these main stages, however, you will notice that the story includes a number of minor phases. While the stages are common to most stories, the phases tend to vary depending on the particular story. It is the phases that give us flexibility in developing texts.

In the Orientation, we are introduced to the three gold miners and are given some background context, letting us know that they are excavating for gold in the bush country. During the Orientation stage, a narrative usually starts to develop the context for a complication to arise. Here, for example, we find that the miners were fond of fish. But there was a problem that set the stage for the later complication: the fish wouldn’t bite because it was winter. In response to that problem, they had the idea to use explosives to blow the fish out of the water, so Andy prepared the stick of dynamite before going back to cooking dinner – significantly, on an open fire.

In the next phase of the Orientation, we are introduced to Tommy, their retriever dog. We have phases where he is described and then an anecdote is told, pointing out that it is in the nature of such dogs to retrieve things – however unpleasant or dangerous. The following phase is an event that sets the scene for the Complication: the men were standing with their backs to the fire, not noticing that the dog had picked up the stick of dynamic and dragged the fuse through the flames. The Complication sets off a train of responses. As they ran to escape, Andy tried kicking the dog and threw sticks and stones; Dave made a grab for the dog’s tail, snatched the cartridge from its mouth and flung it away – but the dog retrieved it; and Jim scrambled up a tree.

At this point there is a change of setting where the Complication continues to play out. They all end up in the nearby hotel, the dog bounding around and scattering the patrons. With another change in setting, the dog ends up under the kitchen, where we are introduced to another key character – the vicious yellow mongrel – who creates a problem by nipping the retriever, who drops the cartridge in response. In the following event, the mongrel picks up the cartridge. He is surrounded by a number of other dogs, who are introduced and described. As they crowd around, we have an event that signals the Resolution of the Complication – the dynamite finally explodes, taking with it the mongrel that the townsfolk had been trying to get rid of for years.

You will notice that the narrative doesn’t end there. There are a couple of optional stages – a Dénouement which is the aftermath of the action, unravelling the tension and returning to normalcy, and a Coda, that makes a general comment on the story.


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Usually you can identify the phases within the stages by using common sense and developing labels that reflect the function of the stage – its role in developing the story. Here are a few suggestions for phase labels (adapted from Rose, reference):

Phase type Function setting locates the story in a particular physical context or time period and

establishes a mood. The setting can change during the story. introduction of characters

introduces main and subordinate characters at various points in the story

description where the action is slowed to describe the physical setting or characters

response to Complication

events that occur in direct response to the complication

event other events that continue the action of the story (‘and then’) problem minor problems that arise along the way, usually related to the

overarching Complication. These create tensions and sustain the suspense.

solution, attempted solution

some problems might be solved, but others might result in an attempted (or pseudo) solution which often makes things worse

reaction characters’ feelings in reaction to an event or situation (‘he felt’) reflection characters’ thoughts reflecting on the situation and/or evaluating its

signficance (‘he thought/said’) comment intrusion of the narrator’s comments, explanations, or summarising

(eg of a moral point)

We will return to The Loaded Dog later on to appreciate Lawson’s use of language.

Narratives for young adolescents Here’s another story about a dog, but this time in a more serious vein. It is written in the style of crime fiction by Michael Z. Lewin, who is a writer of detective novels. Try reading it aloud in a slow, sombre, ‘Dick Tracy’ voice.

Text xx The Hand That Feeds Me

Stages and phases

The Hand That Feeds Me

It was one of those sultry summer evenings, warm and humid and hardly

any wind. The sun was just going down // and I was grazing the alleys downtown, // not doing badly. It never ceases to amaze me the quantity of food that human beings throw away. Especially in warm weather. The only real problem about getting a decent meal is the competition.

When I saw the man poking in a barrel // I said to myself, // ‘Here’s trouble.’ I was wrong. But I was right.

The old guy was grazing too // and at first he didn’t notice me. // But when he did, // though I couldn’t make out the words, // he was obviously


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friendly. And then he threw me a piece of meat. It’s not always smart to take meat from strange men, // but this guy

seemed genuine enough. // I checked the meat out carefully, // and then I ate it. It was good. Topped me up nicely.

I stayed with the old guy for a while, // and we got along. I’d root a bit. He’d root a bit. And we’d move elsewhere.

Then he settled down // to go to sleep. He patted the sacking, // inviting me to sleep too, // but it was kind of early // so I moved on.

A couple of hours later it was semi-dark, // like it gets in the town. … I could tell immediately // that something was wrong. I approached cautiously, // but nothing happened. Nothing could happen. The old guy was dead.

There was blood on his face. There was blood on his clothes. Someone had given him a terrible beating. Beatings are something I know about.

I licked one of the wounds. The blood was dry on top, but still runny under the crust. The old guy’s body was pretty warm. Whatever had happened wasn’t long over.

Nosing around, // I picked up the scents of three different men. They were all fresh, // hanging in the tepid air. Three men together, three against one. One old man. That could not be right.

I set out after them. They had headed away from downtown. Curiously, they had stuck to the

alleys, these three men, // though they hadn’t stopped at any of the places I would have. The places my dead acquaintance would have. …

After another block I began to find beer cans they had handled. At first I picked each can up, carefully, and I put it where I could find it

again. But once I had one can from each of the men, I ignored the rest. I followed the trail with increasing confidence. I figured I knew where they were going.

The long, narrow park by the river is popular on a summer’s night. I could

tell immediately that it was teeming with life, and not just because so many scents crossed that of the trio I was following. All you have to do is listen. A dozen human beings, not to mention the other creatures.

But my trio made it easy again. They were down by the riverside, whooping and hollering and throwing things into the water.

I was extremely cautious as I drew close. I wasn’t quite sure what I would do. I only knew that I would do something.

I saw them clearly enough. Young, boisterous men, rough with each other and loud. They picked up stones and swung thick sticks to hit the stones into the river. Already drunk and unsteady, most of the time they missed, but when one connected they would all make a terrible din to celebrate the crack of the stick on stone.

Lying on the grass behind them were more cans of beer and a pile of jackets. There was also a fire. A fire! On a hot night like this.

It wasn’t until I crept near that I realised that in the fire they had been burning something belonging to the old man. The old man who gave me meat. The old man they had beaten to death.

I was sorely tempted to sink my teeth into the nearest one, maybe push him over the bank and into the water. But I was self-disciplined. A ducking was too good for these three, these murderers.

I edged close to the fire, to the beer cans. To the jackets. The idea was to grab all three garments, but just as I made my move, one

of the louts happened to turn around and see me in the light from the embers.


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He yelled ugly things to his friends, and they reeled back towards me. I am not a coward but they did have sticks. And I am considerably bigger than a stone.

I grabbed the top jacket and ran for it. They chased for a while, but they were no match for me running full out,

even lugging the flapping jacket. … I went straight back to the body of the old man. I laid the jacket down by

one of his hands and pushed a sleeve as best I could into its forceless grip. I spread the jacket out.

I left the old man three more times. After each trip I returned with a beer can. Each can reeked of a killer. Other men might be able to track them from the smell, but each of the cans bore a murderer’s finger marks.

Then I sat and rested. I didn’t know what it would look like from higher up, but from where I sat the scene looked as if the old man had grabbed the jacket of one of the men who had attacked him. Beer-drunk men. The old man had grasped and wouldn’t let go. They, cowards that they were, ran off.

Cowards that they were, if one of them was brought to justice from his jacket, he would squeal on the other two from his pack.

I was pleased with my justice. I raised my eyes to the moon, and I cried for the dead man. I cried and

cried until I heard living men near the alley open their doors. Until I heard them come out into the still summer night. Until I heard them make their way to the alley to see what the fuss was.

Once I was sure they were doing that, I set off into the darkness.

(Michael Z. Lewin, from Smithereens)

Critical reflection When you’ve read the story above, go back and see if you can identify the main stages of Orientation, Complication, and Resolution. Are there any other optional stages? Now, referring to the table above, see if you can identify any phases within the stages. Were the phase labels helpful? Did you have to make up any other labels to indicate the function of a particular phase? Share your analysis with a partner and discuss whether your analyses agree.

How do students learn about narrative? Ideally, children learn about narrative initially by being immersed in stories from early childhood – read aloud by adults or older siblings who engage them with questions about the story and pictures. This kind of interaction around stories is continued into the early years of schooling, with daily shared reading sessions and opportunities to read favourite stories independently.

As students progress into upper primary and even secondary, they should still enjoy the pleasure of hearing stories being read aloud. Now however, they should be increasingly guided towards an explicit awareness of how the story ‘works’ – its structure and language features. They need support in developing an informed appreciation of the literary qualities of narrative and of the skill of the author. This is best done in the context of collaboratively participating in the reading, discussion and composing of stories in a variety of media:


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multimodal, animated, digital stories, videoed dramatisations, graphic novels – as well as traditional written stories.

What are the major language resources for narratives? Narratives draw on a wide range of language resources involving all three functions of language: - representing various kinds of experience (the experiential function); - engaging the reader through, for example, the expression of emotion, the evaluation of

qualities, and the judgement of human behaviour (the interpersonal function); - and shaping the language into a cohesive text (the textual function). Let’s look at each of these in greater detail. (Those with an asterisk will be developed further in a later section of this chapter. Others will be more fully dealt with in later chapters.)

Expressing and elaborating ideas: Developing control of Field-related meanings specific human and non-human Participants* (Andy's legs started with a jolt; his legs

started before his brain did, and he made after Dave and Jim. And the dog followed Andy.)

a variety of Processes*, eg: – action (He snatched up sticks and stones and threw them at the dog and ran on

again.) – thinking (The big pup reckoned that this was part of the lark.) – perceiving (Tommy saw his danger.) – saying ("Run, Andy! Run!" they shouted.) – relating (It was a very good blasting-powder.)

a variety of Circumstances*, eg: – place (Then he went to the campfire to try some potatoes, which were boiling in

their jackets in a billy …) – purpose (…and to see about frying some chops for dinner.) – time (Early one morning the dog found the cat.) – manner (…begin to sniff suspiciously …)

Fostering interaction: Developing control of Tenor-related meanings enabling interaction between the characters: questions (‘"Why not blow the fish up in

the big water-hole with a cartridge?"); statements ("I'll try it."); commands ("Run, Andy! Run!")

expressing attitudes (See Chapter xxx)


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o sharing feelings (‘My purr hates getting wet’; ‘ ‘Poor me,’ sighed Cuddlepuss forlornly’; ‘They were fond of fish’; ‘trying to laugh without shrieking’)

o evaluating qualities positively or negatively (‘his silky tabby coat’; ‘it was dangerous to go near him’; ‘a third cautious sniff’; ‘his broadest, longest, and reddest smile of amiability’)

o judging people’s (or animals-as-people’s) character and behaviour positively or negatively in terms of such attributes as their capacity, their braveness, their social esteem, their morality, and so on (‘Cuddlepuss was a clever cat’; ‘this guy seemed genuine enough’; ‘Dave and Jim were good runners’; ‘I was pleased with my justice’; ‘he was not very good at remembering yesterday’; ‘Most of his head was usually a red, idiotic, slobbering grin of appreciation of his own silliness.’; ‘Look behind you, you fool!’; ‘a sneaking, fighting, thieving canine’; ‘They, cowards that they were, ran off.’)

adjusting the strength and focus (See Chapter xxx) o increasing and decreasing the force (‘purrrfectly happy …’ ; ‘There was plenty of

fish in the creek’; ‘I was extremely cautious’; ‘the cartridge had been excellently well made.’; ‘a rather undignified manner’; ‘I’d root a bit.’; ‘The old guy’s body was pretty warm.’)

o focus: pinpointing (‘Dave was the only one in sight now’; ‘The only real problem about getting a decent meal is the competition.’; ‘Especially in warm weather.’) and blurring (‘it was kind of early’)

engaging with other voices, possibilities and perspectives (See Chapter xxx) o attribution (‘Bushmen say that that kitchen jumped off its piles and on again.’) o modality in order to create space for other possibilities (‘That sound could be my

purr.’; ‘a rich gold quartz reef, which was supposed to exist in the vicinity’; ‘He had found something which might be good for a dog to eat.’; ‘I wasn’t quite sure what I would do’; ‘maybe push him over the bank’)

o negatives (‘No, the plopping drippity dropping sound was not his purr’; ‘Three against one. One old man. That could not be right.’)

Familiarization In the narratives above, see how many more examples you can find of each of these interpersonal resources. Discuss how they contribute to the impact and meaning of the narrative. Why, for example, is judgement of behaviour important in The Hand That Feeds Me? Why are feelings important in The Cat Who Lost Its Purr? When we explore interpersonal meanings and how the author engages with the reader, we can look at the way different points of view are considered. Each of the stories above is told from a different point of view. In The Cat Who Lost Its Purr, the narrative is told from the point of view of an onlooker – but one who is seeing the story through the cat’s eyes (eg His house was quiet and strangely empty; It was not in the place where his unfurry friends sometimes sat to read the newspaper; Voices of his two-legged unfurry friends.). This is referred to as ‘third person intimate’, where the narrator is limited to revealing only what the focal character knows. The Loaded Dog is told by an ‘omniscient’ third person narrator, seeing and knowing everything that happens within the world of the story. The Hand That Feeds Me, on the other hand, is told in the first person, from the point of view of the stray dog.


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Critical reflection As the reader, did the ‘point of view’ in each of the narratives affect how you engaged with the story? Did you notice the different ‘voices’ that the authors had adopted? How does ‘point of view’ affect how the story is told? What can the first person narrator do that the third person one can’t? And vice-versa? At what point did you recognize that the narrator was a dog in The Hand That Feeds Me?

Creating Cohesive texts: Developing control of Mode-related meanings The textual function of language refers to ‘how well the text hangs together’. When we

deal with narratives, for example, we need to be able to track the various participants through the text. (See Chapter xxx) To do this, we use a range of cohesive devices that create ‘chains’ linking bits of the text together. In the excerpt below, for example, you can see how pronouns have been used to create cohesive ties:

In the last sentence of the text above, you will notice that ‘this’ refers back to a whole stretch of text.

Familiarization See if you can track the Participants in the excerpt below, preferably using different colours for each Participant. (Refer back to Chapter 1, p.xxx.) Underline the Participant being referred to and circle the referring word. (Note that the first reference to the narrator points outside the text.)


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The old guy was grazing too and at first he didn’t notice me. But when he did, though I

couldn’t make out the words, he was obviously friendly. And then he threw me a piece of

meat.

I don’t usually take meat from strange men, but this guy seemed genuine enough. I

checked the meat out carefully, and then I ate it. It was good. Topped me up nicely.

I stayed with the old guy for a while, and we got along. I’d root a bit. He’d root a bit. And

we’d move elsewhere.

Then he settled down to go to sleep. He patted the sacking, inviting me to sleep too, but it

was kind of early so I moved on. This is a good activity to try with students – particularly with a text involving a number of Participants – human and non-human.

Another way in which we create cohesive patterns in text is to use repeated expressions (sometimes referred to as ‘parallelism’). Notice the way that the author of The Hand That Feeds Me does this:

o I was wrong. But I was right. o I was grazing the alleys … The old guy was grazing too. o I approached cautiously, but nothing happened. Nothing could happen. The old

guy was dead. o There was blood on his face. There was blood on his clothes. o They hadn’t stopped at any of the places I would have. The places my dead

acquaintance would have. o …something belonging to the old man. The old man who gave me meat. The old

man they had beaten to death. o I edged close to the fire, to the beer cans. To the jackets. o They, cowards that they were, ran off. Cowards that they were, if one of them

was brought to justice from his jacket, he would squeal on the other two from his pack.

o I raised my eyes to the moon, and I cried for the dead man. I cried and cried until I heard living men near the alley open their doors. Until I heard them come out into the still summer night. Until I heard them make their way to the alley to see what the fuss was.

This careful crafting of a text, is characteristic of literary texts, including poetry. Apart from creating cohesive patterns, such repetition contributes to the build-up of interpersonal meanings in the text.

Critical reflection In The Hand That Feeds Me, what is the significance of I said to myself, ‘Here’s trouble.’ I was wrong. But I was right.? How do some of the repetitions above create a bond between the dog and the old man?


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Focus on field In looking at how ideas in a story are developed, we can investigate the language choices made by the author. As a starting point, we can look at how clauses work to represent ‘a slice of experience’. To do this, we can simply ask three questions:

– What’s happening? – Who or what is involved in the activity? – What are the surrounding circumstances: when? where? how? and so on.

Critical reflection Look at each of the illustrations above and ask the questions above, eg ‘The spider is about to bite the cat on its nose’:

– What’s happening? ‘is about to bite’ – Who or what is involved? ‘the spider’ and ‘the cat’ – When? Where? How? etc: ‘on its nose’

This is a very easy way of introducing to students the notion of a clause and what it does.

‘What’s happening?’ Because narratives deal with human experience, they represent the full range of doings and happenings in which human beings engage: physical, mental, emotional, and saying processes. We can sum up the main processes in the following table, indicating the kinds of meanings being made and the grammatical forms that express those meanings:

Meaning Form

Material processes ‘action’ verbs

Thinking processes

Feeling processes

Perceiving processes

‘sensing’ verbs

Verbal processes ‘saying’ verbs

Relational processes ‘relating’ verbs

Existing processes ‘existing’ verbs

Action verbs Good choice of action verbs helps to make a story vivid and memorable, as in these examples from the stories above: The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• He slunk downstairs. • He prowled around the empty kitchen. • Prowlpuss wandered woozily down the gloomy corridor. • His whole body shuddered and juddered and quivered and quaked.

The Loaded Dog


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• Tommy, who was always slobbering round them and lashing their legs with his heavy tail that swung round like a stock-whip…

• The dog leapt and capered round him. • … and the dog circling round Andy, the live fuse swishing in all directions and hissing

and spluttering and stinking. • The dog laid the cartridge at the foot of the sapling, and capered and leaped and

whooped joyously round. The Hand That Feeds Me

• I was grazing the alleys. • They were whooping and hollering and throwing things into the water. • Each can reeked of a killer.

Critical reflection Discuss the choice of action verbs in the stories above. How would you model good action verbs for students as they draft their own stories? Focusing on the action verbs in The Cat Who Lost Its Purr and/or The Loaded Dog, act out some of the action sequences. Is this an activity you might do with students? Perhaps getting them to identify the action verbs in their own stories and getting a group to do the actions as the author reads the story aloud?

Sensing verbs

Stories often make reference to what the characters are thinking, feeling, or perceiving through their senses (seeing, hearing, and so on). Unlike action verbs, sensing verbs refer to ‘inner processes’. A rule of thumb to identify a sensing verb is to check whether it can potentially be followed by ‘that’ (he thought that …; we saw that …). Most of the sensing verbs in the stories represent thinking Processes:

The Cat Who Lost Its Purr • ‘Where is my purr?’ wondered Cuddlepuss. • He thought hard. ‘When did I have it last?’ • ‘I will go and find my purr,’ decided Cuddlepuss and he promptly set off. • ‘Is this my purr?’ he pondered. • He scampered into the bedroom where he remembered hearing his purr … • He knew how to open the fridge and look inside.

The Loaded Dog • Dave, who had the presence of mind to think that the fuse's time wasn't up yet, … • The retriever saw that he'd made a mistake about Andy. • The dog, who, seeing that Dave was offended, left him. • Tommy saw his danger. • The big pup reckoned that this was part of the lark. • Dave decided to apologise later on.

The Hand That Feeds Me • It never ceases to amaze me. • I couldn’t make out the words • I could tell immediately that something was wrong. • Beatings are something I know about. • I ignored the rest.


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• I figured I knew where they were going. • I could tell immediately that it was teeming with life. • I only knew that I would do something. • I realised that they had been burning something belonging to the old man. • I didn’t know what it would look like from higher up

Notice that the meaning of verbs such as ‘saw’ and ‘tell’ above depends on the context of use. Here they have the meaning of ‘thinking’ (eg ‘realise’). In the stories above, there are also some sensing verbs representing feelings and perception:

• ‘My purr hates getting wet.’ • And then he heard a sound. • When I saw the man poking in a barrel. • At first he didn’t notice me. • I saw them clearly enough. • I cried and cried until I heard living men near the alley open their doors.

Critical reflection Looking at the examples above, discuss the contribution to the story of opportunities for characters to engage in processes of thinking, perceiving, expressing feelings, and evaluating provided by the sensing verbs.

Saying verbs

In stories, the characters interact, often indicated by ‘saying’ verbs. Authors often choose a saying verb that captures the way in which the dialogue is being spoken, the personality of the speaker, or the emotions involved in the situation at the time: The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• ‘Meeooww!’ yelled Cuddlepuss. • ‘Poor me,’ sighed Cuddlepuss forlornly.

The Loaded Dog • Jim Bently said it was big enough to blow the bottom out of the river. • "Run, Andy! Run!" they shouted back at him. • They could never explain why they followed each other. • "My dog!" he gasped. • Lanky, easy going bushmen would cry: 'El-lo, Da-a-ve! How's the fishin' getting on,

Da-a-ve?' The Hand That Feeds Me

• I said to myself, ‘Here’s trouble.’

Critical reflection Say the dialogue above in the manner suggested by the saying verbs. How can the choice of saying verb contribute to the development of the story and the characters? How would you advise students regarding the use of ‘neutral’ saying verbs such as ‘said’, ‘replied’ and ‘stated’?


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Relating verbs

When we use relating verbs we create a process of relating one bit of information to another. In the examples, below the thing being described is related to its description:

The old guy

was dead.

thing being described

description

The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• His house was quiet and strangely empty. • Cuddlepuss was a clever cat. • He was not very good at remembering yesterday.

The Loaded Dog • The party were fond of fish. • It was big enough to blow the bottom out of the river. • Andy was slow and heavy. • It was a young sapling • Dave was desperate

The Hand That Feeds Me • I was wrong. But I was right. • He was obviously friendly. • This guy seemed genuine enough. • The old guy’s body was pretty warm. • That could not be right. • I am not a coward.

Critical reflection The ‘description’ part of a relating clause is called the Attribute and usually takes the form of a noun group that contains a descriptive element (eg Most of his head was usually a red, idiotic, slobbering grin of appreciation of his own silliness.) or an adjective/adjective group (something was wrong; I am considerably bigger than a stone). An adjective group has an adjective as the head word. Like the noun group, it might also have words in front of the head word and after the head word, as in the example above:

considerably bigger than a stone head word

(comparative adjective)

Look at the examples above and see whether you can decide whether the ‘description’ part is a noun group, an adjective or an adjective group. If it’s an adjective group, underline the whole group and circle the head word (the adjective), eg:

He was not very good at remembering yesterday. While the descriptive pattern above is the most common in narratives, there are a few other patterns created by relating verbs, such as identifying/naming something:

• The only real problem about getting a decent meal is the competition.


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… and using ‘having’ verbs to indicate possession: • They had a big black young retriever dog. • I am not a coward but they did have sticks. • He's got a live cartridge in his mouth.

‘Existing’ verbs

Sometimes we just want to say that something ‘exists’. In this case, we generally use a ‘being’ verb preceded by ‘there’:

The Loaded Dog • There was plenty of fish in the creek • There was a small hotel or shanty on the creek. • There were several casual Bushmen on the verandah. • There was a vicious yellow mongrel cattle dog.

The Hand That Feeds Me • There was blood on his face. There was blood on his clothes. • There was also a fire.

Tense

In stories we generally use the past simple tense, as in most of the examples above. This typically consists of a single word (eg they ran). It is common, however, to find other tenses in stories, often consisting of more than one word, eg:

• ‘I will go and find my purr,’ • Dave Regan, Jim Bently, and Andy Page were sinking a shaft. • Andy had slit and nicked the firing end of the fuse well. • In the fire they had been burning something belonging to the old man. • … looking as if he had been kicked into a fire by a horse

Some stories use the ‘historical present tense’ to make the action more vivid (‘He tries to catch him but he escapes.’)

Critical reflection If you are not familiar with the main tenses in English, you might want to consult a grammar reference book to find out about their uses and structure. This is not something that we would necessarily spend a lot of time on, particularly with young children. But it is useful to be aware of the different shades of meaning we can achieve by employing a greater range of tenses. It is also often an issue for EAL/D students, particularly in the case of irregular verbs.

The verb group

These days we tend to use the term ‘verb group’ as there is often more than one word in the group:

• He tried to make friends with everybody. • Dave made a dive. • He didn’t notice me. • Nothing could happen. • They are waiting till dinner should be ready. • I began to find beer cans they had handled.


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• They picked up stones • One of the louts happened to turn around.

Even when there is only a single word, the term ‘group’ is still used.

‘Who or what is involved?’ The Participants in the story An important part of story-telling is to build up the characters and setting. This generally involves developing the Participants – human and non-human. We can find the Participants by asking the question ‘who?’ or ‘what?’. The answer will not usually be a single word but a ‘chunk of meaning’: The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• the leaky old tap • the plopping drippity dropping sound • the warm friendly folds of the blankets • the ticky tocky clock • lots of loud, wet, gurgling noises

The Loaded Dog • a big black young retriever dog • an overgrown pup • a big foolish, four-footed mate called Tommy, who was always slobbering round them

and lashing their legs with his heavy tail that swung round like a stock-whip • his broadest and silliest grin • the great, idiotic mongrel retriever • his broadest, longest, and reddest smile of amiability • a vicious yellow mongrel cattle dog sulking and nursing his nastiness • the nasty yellow dog • a sneaking, fighting, thieving canine whom neighbours had tried for years to shoot or

poison • spidery, thievish, cold-blooded kangaroo-dogs • yapping, yelping small fry • vicious black and yellow dogs that slip after you in the dark, nip your heels, and

vanish without explaining

Critical reflection Discuss how the author of The Cat That Lost Its Purr describes the Participants in the cat’s surroundings. Looking at the various canine Participants in The Loaded Dog, draw the dogs. Did the richness of the language help you to visualise the dogs?

The noun group When we work with grammar from a function perspective, we start first by looking at the meaning or function. Above, for example, we have started simply by asking the question ‘who?’ or ‘what?’ and then introducing the functional term Participant. At a certain point, however, we might need to be able to recognise the grammatical forms that can be used to


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express the Participant. The major grammatical resource for describing the Participants is the noun group. At the core of the noun group is the head noun, which can be accompanied by some descriptive words coming before and some coming after the head noun:

the sickly smothering the astonished

the

atmosphere stare

doorway

of the summer sunrise. of the publican leading from the passage

head noun noun group

Familiarization In the examples below from The Hand That Feeds Me, identify the head noun of the noun group.

• the quantity of food that human beings throw away • the long, narrow park by the river • young, boisterous men, rough with each other and loud • the body of the old man • a murderer’s finger marks

If we want to explore the descriptive resources offered by the noun group, we can go into further detail – again looking first at the function of each part of the noun group and then its grammatical form if necessary. We might want to ask questions such as:

– How many? (one, a dozen, many, three thousand) – Which one in particular? (this, that, these, those, my, our, your, his, her, their, a, the) – What’s it like? What qualities does it have? (eg round, blue, big, old, sleazy) – What type is it? (eg a brick house, a vertebrate animal, a dining chair)

We could discuss these resources referring first to their function and later, if of interest, to their grammatical form:

How many? Which one? What like? What type?

What are we talking about?

one of those long, sultry summer evenings

Function Quantifier Pointer Describer Classifier Thing

Grammatical form

‘number word’

determiner adjective noun noun

Familiarization In the examples from The Hand That Feeds Me, identify the Functions of each of the parts of the following noun groups, starting with the ‘Thing’ (head noun) and working backwards:

• a vicious yellow mongrel cattle dog • a murderer’s finger marks • the leaky old tap


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• lots of interesting sounds • his fine, sharp claws • a little yellow bird • the washing monster • lots of loud, wet, gurgling noises • some chocky biscuits • a piece of meat • the old guy’s body • these three men • beer cans • a dozen human beings

As we have seen above, we can also add descriptive information after the head noun. The function of this part of the noun group is to ‘qualify’, so it is called a Qualifier.

Tell me more

one of those long, sultry summer

evenings in July warm and humid that seem to go on forever

Function Thing Qualifier

Familiarization In the noun groups (in italics) below, circle the head noun and underline the Qualifier.

• It was a stray fly bumbling around the deserted room. • He put a panfull of mutton chops on the fire. • They caught more fish than they could eat. • They had a cat that died in hot weather. • He heard voices of his two-legged unfurry friends. • They were young, boisterous men, rough with each other and loud. • He carted back most of the camp rubbish that Andy threw away. • There was a vicious yellow mongrel cattle dog sulking and nursing his nastiness

under there. • The only real problem about getting a decent meal is the competition. • I picked up the scents of three different men. • I began to find beer cans they had handled. • I had one can from each of the men. • The long, narrow park by the river is popular on a summer’s night. • They had been burning something belonging to the old man. The old man who gave

me meat. The old man they had beaten to death. • The scene looked as if the old man had grabbed the jacket of one of the men who

had attacked him. • There were vicious black and yellow dogs that slip after you in the dark, nip your

heels and vanish without explaining. Qualifiers can take a variety of grammatical forms:

• ‘in July’ is a prepositional phrase (a phrase beginning with a preposition)


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• ‘warm and humid’ is a group of adjectives • ‘that seem to go on forever’ is a clause (as it contains a verb: seem to go on)

Clauses that are part of a noun group are referred to as ‘embedded clauses’ as they are embedded inside the noun group. Familiarization Now go back to the noun groups in the previous activity and see if you can decide whether the Qualifier takes the grammatical form of:

• a prepositional phrase (check to see whether it begins with a preposition) • a group of adjectives (relatively rare – mainly in literary texts) • an embedded clause (check to see whether it has a verb. It might also begin (or

potentially begin) with ‘that’, ‘which’ or ‘who’ – though this isn’t necessarily the case.)

‘When? Where? How? Why?’ When we tell stories, we need to provide details of the Circumstances surrounding the activities such as time, place, manner, and reason. There are actually more types of Circumstances, but these are the most common ones in narratives.

When? (For how long? How often? At what point in time?) The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• Cuddlepuss woke one morning The Loaded Dog

• Andy was cook today. • He sniffed at the cartridge twice. • Dave decided to apologise later on. • For years afterwards, lanky, easy going bushmen would cry: 'El-lo, Da-a-ve! How's

the fishin' getting on, Da-a-ve?' The Hand That Feeds Me

• At first he didn’t notice me. • I stayed with the old guy for a while. • A couple of hours later it was semi-dark. • After another block I began to find beer cans they had handled. • The long, narrow park by the river is popular on a summer’s night. • Already drunk and unsteady, most of the time they missed. • I left the old man three more times. After each trip I returned with a beer can.

Familiarization Circumstances of time can take various grammatical forms:

• adverbs/adverb groups (yesterday, soon after) • prepositional phrases (phrases beginning with a preposition: on Monday, for ten

days) • noun groups (two days later)

From the examples above, can you identify these different grammatical forms?


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Where? The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• Cuddlepuss started by searching in the bathroom. • ‘Is my purr down here?’ • No, it was not in the place where his unfurry friends sometimes sat to read the

newspaper. • He scampered into the bedroom • No, it was just a stray fly, bumbling around the deserted room. • He slunk downstairs to the kitchen • He prowled around the empty kitchen. • Across the hall / in the living room, a pleasant tick, tick, tock came from the clock. • In the laundry room the washing monster made lots of loud, wet, gurgling noises. • Prowlpuss wandered down the gloomy corridor / to the back door.

The Loaded Dog • "Run ! ! ! Look behind you, you fool!" • Andy turned slowly and looked, and there, close behind him, was the retriever with

the cartridge in his mouth wedged into his broadest and silliest grin. • The dog had come round the fire / to Andy, and the loose end of the fuse had trailed

and waggled over the burning sticks / into the blaze • snatched the cartridge out of his mouth and flung it as far as he could • The dog laid the cartridge at the foot of the sapling • There was a small hotel or shanty on the creek, on the main road, not far from the

claim. • There were several casual Bushmen on the verandah and in the bar; Dave rushed into

the bar, banging the door to behind him. • The retriever went in under the kitchen, amongst the piles • Halfway across the yard the yellow dog caught him and nipped him. • The remains of the nasty yellow dog were lying against the paling fence of the yard

looking as if he had been kicked into a fire by a horse and afterwards rolled in the dust under a barrow, and finally thrown against the fence from a distance.

The Hand That Feeds Me • And we’d move elsewhere. • There was blood on his face. There was blood on his clothes. • They were all fresh, hanging in the tepid air. • They had headed away / from downtown. • They were down by the riverside, whooping and hollering and throwing things into the

water. • I went straight back / to the body of the old man. I laid the jacket down / by one of his

hands and pushed a sleeve as best I could into its forceless grip. • I raised my eyes to the moon, and I cried for the dead man. I cried and cried until I

heard living men near the alley open their doors. Until I heard them come out into the still summer night. Until I heard them make their way to the alley to see what the fuss was about.

Critical reflection Underline the Circumstances of place from The Cat Who Lost Its Purr and track how they guide you on the cat’s journey.


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Focusing on the Circumstances of place in The Loaded Dog, draw a map and track the action during the chase scene. Most of the Circumstances of place in The Hand That Feeds Me are prepositional phrases. Can you find any that aren’t? What form do these take?

Critical reflection We have seen previously that the grammatical form of prepositional phrase can express the function of a Qualifier in the noun group. Here we have seen that it can also have a different function – to express a Circumstance. To tell which function it is performing, first of all ask whether it is telling you more about the Thing in a noun group (ie the function of Qualifier) or whether it is telling you about the Process (ie the function of a Circumstance). As a rule of thumb, you can tell a Circumstance if it can be moved around in the clause (whereas Qualifier is ‘attached’ to the Thing inside the noun group and cannot move.)

prepositional phrase as Circumstance (telling you more about where the action was taking place): In the washing machine, the clothes were swishing and swoshing. The clothes were swishing and swoshing in the washing machine. prepositional phrase as Qualifier in the noun group (telling you more about the clothes – which ones?): The clothes in the washing machine were swishing and swoshing.

Can you see why we need to work on two levels (function/meaning and grammatical form)? There is not a one-to-one relationship between function and form. A form can have many functions (as above) – and a function can be expressed by different grammatical forms.

How? (In what manner? By what means? Like what?) The Cat Who Lost Its Purr

• Cuddlepuss woke without his purr. • He slowly licked his silky tabby coat with his sandpaper tongue. • Like all cats he was not very good at remembering yesterday • He promptly set off. • Cuddlepuss noticed a sound very like his purr. • The fridge hummed softly • A little yellow bird popped out and startled him with a loud ‘Cuckoo!’ • ‘Meeooww!’ yelled Cuddlepuss in a rather undignified manner. • Dejectedly, Prowlpuss wandered woozily down the gloomy corridor in a down-tail

mood. • ‘Poor me,’ sighed Cuddlepuss forlornly. He tried to cheer himself up with a drink of

milk and some chocky biscuits. The Loaded Dog

• "Why not blow the fish up in the big water-hole with a cartridge?" • … lashing their legs with his heavy tail that swung round like a stock-whip. • He seemed to take life, the world, his two-legged mates, and his own instinct as a

huge joke. • Dave and Jim stood with their backs to the fire


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• Andy's legs started with a jolt • Dave caught him by the tail • The dog laid the cartridge, as carefully as if it was a kitten, at the foot of the sapling, • Andy chained the dog up securely • Lanky, easy going bushmen would cry, in a lazy drawl and with just a hint of the

nasal twang: 'El-lo, Da-a-ve! How's the fishin' getting on, Da-a-ve?' The Hand That Feeds Me

• I checked the meat out carefully • Topped me up nicely. • I approached cautiously • I followed the trail with increasing confidence. • I saw them clearly enough. • Other men might be able to track them from the smell, but each of the cans bore a

murderer’s finger marks.

Critical reflection Circumstances of manner can have different meanings: in what manner? by what means? and like what? See if you can identify the meaning of the different Circumstances of manner above. What can you say about the grammatical forms that these Circumstances take?

Why? The Loaded Dog

• Dave Regan, Jim Bently, and Andy Page were sinking a shaft at Stony Creek in search of a rich gold quartz reef

• … to see about frying some chops for dinner • "My dog!" he gasped, in reply to the astonished stare of the publican • They loved him for his good-heartedness and his foolishness

The Hand That Feeds Me • I cried for the dead man. • I was pleased with my justice.

Field and narratives: strategies for teaching and assessing Regularly share narratives with students in a variety of media and formats. Guide them

to notice how they are structured and the stages they go through. In raising their awareness of the language, start by asking the three questions, using an

image from the story: ‘What’s happening?’, ‘Who or what is involved?’, and ‘What are the surrounding circumstances?’. When students are comfortable with asking each other such questions, gradually introduce the terms that refer to the kinds of meanings being developed: various types of Processes, human and non-human Participants, and Circumstances that answer questions such as ‘where?’, ‘when?’, ‘how?’ and ‘why?’.

Innovating on a familiar text provides students with a scaffold until they feel confident to write their own stories. Choose a relatively simple (but well-written) story and ask your students in groups to write an episode of a ‘parallel’ story, following the same


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outline of the original, but varying the main character, or the resolution, or some other aspect of the story (eg ‘the dog who lost his tailwag’ – why did it disappear? Where did he look for it? Did he find it? How?).

Once the students have developed a very rough draft of their episode, model for them some of the language features of the original story that might provide inspiration for revising their draft (eg vivid action verbs, interesting saying verbs, the inclusion of sensing verbs, rich noun groups and adjective groups, and a variety of Circumstances). Use some of these resources in collaboratively writing the Orientation or the Resolution. Then ask students to review and proofread their episodes, ready for collation into the final, published story.

When assessing students’ narratives and providing feedback, consider the quality of the Complication stage and the originality of the Resolution. How well has language been used in expressing the students’ ideas and in developing the setting and characters? In carrying the action forward? In providing spaces for reflection?

A classroom example: learning to write narratives in year 5 As part of a series of lessons around the theme of ‘community’, including notions of relationships, belonging and identity, Heather decided to include a focus on investigating traditional and contemporary indigenous cultures and communities. With that in mind, she introduced the students to the significance in indigenous communities of story telling as a way of passing on cultural values and beliefs.

Lesson 1: Developing an understanding of the field

Understanding the local community They learned from members of the local indigenous community that the storyteller custodian’s role was that of cultural educator, passing on the accumulated knowledge, spirituality, and wisdom, from when time began.


Understanding traditional cultures and storytelling The students watched videos of traditional Aboriginal communities sitting round the campfire following their evening meal and listening to the storyteller recount the stories from the Dreamtime:

The bilby is digging for grubs that live in the roots of the witchetty bush. The bilby was digging and sniffing around for witchetty grubs. He dug, he pulled them out and ate them. He dug for more until he became very tired. If the roots were tough, the bilby would start singing, infesting the grubs with maggots to rot them and then he would just leave it and walk away. …


Understanding contemporary storytelling In addition to learning about story telling in traditional rural communities, the students investigated how these stories were being made more widely available using contemporary digital technologies. In particular, they explored a website called Dust Echoes, a collection of twelve beautifully animated aboriginal dreamtime stories collected from the Wugularr Community in Arnhem Land in the Northern Territory, Australia. The philosophy informing the


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development of the website was to create a broader community who could come to know and appreciate aboriginal lore and heritage.

Dust Echoes is one way that we are bringing everyone back to the same campfire - black and white. We are telling our stories to you in a way you can understand, to help you see, hear and know. And we are telling these stories to ourselves, so that we will always remember, with pride, who we are.

Tom Lewis, actor, musician, Indigenous consultant http://www.abc.net.au/dustechoes/about.htm

Heather chose one of the animated stories to focus on more closely. The story of The Mimis was one that dealt with the search by a young boy for his identity within the community. They began by looking at the overall structure of the text: Orientation Complication Resolution

The Mimis (modified version) The boy is sitting at the camp while the rest of the tribe are hunting. He wants to hunt, but he can’t throw a spear and he can’t track an animal. In the late afternoon, everyone returns with heaps of fish and kangaroo, and the boy feels ashamed and embarrassed. So the boy gets up and he leaves the camp. He takes a sharpened stick because he wants to catch an echidna. He walks all the way up to the hills, but he can’t find a single echidna! But as the sun sets, a magical thing happens. The hills begin to move and they change shape. All around him the hills begin to part as the shadows stretch into the dusk. In the evening, the Mimis come up from the underworld and they prepare the land for the next day. They groom the bushes, they feed the fish and they fix broken branches. The Mimis are very tall and thin. They are human-like stick people. The Mimis are spirit creatures, who leave no tracks! They are also fun, playful, and magical. They are good spirits, happy spirits! The boy looks on in amazement as the small group of Mimis tidy the land. The Mimis enchant him with their magic and they carry him into their home in the hill. The Mimis take the boy into their underworld and they dance all night long. The boy forgets about his world. In the meantime, his father is waiting all night. He worries about his son. So the boy’s father walks out of the camp at the crack of dawn. He follows his son’s footsteps into the distance. But suddenly the tracks finish. So he sits on the ground, and he begins to chant, and eventually he goes into a trance. With his magic he can hear the dancing and singing of the Mimis. He wants to reach this underworld. The old man’s hair grows and grows. It seeps into the ground and creeps deep into the earth in search of his son. His chanting follows his hair and the son begins to hear the chanting of his father as his hair grows closer and closer! The old man’s hair grows until it coils itself right around the boy, and the father pulls up his son out of the earth. The boy snaps back into reality, and his father takes him back to the camp. The boy then realizes that the camp needs all kinds of people with all kinds of skill and he is no longer envious of


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his fellow hunters.

Lesson 4: Developing an understanding of genre

Modelling how the story is structured The students compared the structure of this modern version of the story with the way in which the traditional campfire story of the bilby had unfolded, identifying the stages of Orientation, Complication and Resolution.

Modelling the language features When it came to looking in greater detail at the language features of the story, Heather decided to explore the experiential function of language: how grammar is used to represent ‘what’s going on’ in the story. The original text had been modified to make the story sound more ‘oral’ and to remove any complex grammatical structures that could cause a distraction. The students began by learning how the clause helps to construct the story world. Heather stopped the video at relevant points and asked the students to create clauses describing the visual image, responding to the following questions:

What’s happening here? Who or what is participating in the activity? What are the circumstances surrounding the action?

Gradually they were introduced to the terms Process, Participant and Circumstance as the beginnings of a shared metalanguage. They read through their clauses, asking each other the questions above and colouring the Processes in green, the Participants in red, and the Circumstances in blue, visually revealing the simple patterns in the clauses. Heather then guided them to identify the Processes representing various kinds of ‘doings and happenings’ in the story. They first looked for the physical activities that the participants were engaging in, such as when the Mimis tended the land:

In the evening, the Mimis come up from the underworld and they prepare the land for the next day. They groom the bushes, they feed the fish and they fix broken branches.

Then they noted those Processes that represented what the Participants were thinking:

The boy forgets about his world. The father worries about his son. The boy realizes the camp needs all kinds of people.

… and feeling:

He wants to hunt. He wants to catch an echidna. He wants to reach the underworld.

They discussed what these Processes contributed to the story in terms of providing an insight into the inner thoughts and feelings of the participants. They identified those points in the story where they, as readers, would have liked to know what the characters were thinking or feeling. In a ‘hot seat’ activity, they dramatised the story and froze the action at those


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points so that the class members could ask the character such questions. When the boy was sitting alone in the camp while the others were out camping, he was asked to reveal what he was thinking and feeling:

I am feeling as if I don’t belong. I want to be part of the group. I hope I can show my father that I know how to hunt.

When they came to the description of the Mimis, they discussed the function of ‘are’, with one student volunteering that it was a ‘joining Process’:

The Mimis are very tall and thin. They are human-like stick people. The Mimis are spirit creatures who leave no tracks! They are also fun, playful, and magical. They are good spirits, happy spirits!

They observed the pattern of these clauses, with the Process forming a relationship between the thing being described and its description:

The Mimis are tall and thin.

‘thing being

described’

‘relating Process’

‘description’

Lesson 5: Developing the field further

Finding out more about the Mimis Heather decided to set them a task finding out more information about the Mimis from the internet. Following the pattern above, they came up with clauses such as the following:

‘thing being described’

‘relating Process’

‘description’

Mimis are dreaming spirits of Arnhem Land. They

are

extremely long with thin stretchy bodies that move with the wind.

The Mimis

are

stick-like figures who come up from their underworld as they clean and tidy Arnhem Land with their magical and fragile bodies.

They

have

elongated fingers that move in and out of the trees as they fix the broken branches, feed the fish and groom the bushes.

They are trickster spirits that are playful and joyful. They are like humans but they live in a different dimension.

These twig-like creatures with

extremely long arms and skinny fingers

and elongated bodies

are

so thin that they might break in a high wind.

They are shadow spirits that dance around the shrubs in the wind.

And sometimes they are invisible.


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As can be seen from the clauses above, Heather had also done some work on the ‘description’ part of the clause, focusing in particular on rich noun groups with vivid pre- and post-modifiers:

pre-modifiers Head noun post-modifiers dreaming spirits of Arnhem Land

thin stretchy bodies that move with the wind stick-like figures who come up from their underworld trickster spirits that are playful and joyful.

elongated fingers that move in and out of the trees shadow spirits that dance around the shrubs in the wind

noun group

Lesson 6: Supported writing

Fleshing out the original story Drawing on what they had learnt about the different types of Processes in a narrative, the class, guided by Heather, then incorporated into the story a selection of clauses that they had been developing as a class around what the characters were doing, thinking, feeling and saying. The students then individually innovated on the original text. They now had a good understanding of the field (the local community, traditional communities and their storytelling, the story of the Mimis and their research into the Mimis). From Heather’s modelling, they knew how stories were structured and the stages they typically go through. And they were now explicitly aware of some of the language resources characteristic of narratives that they could use to enhance their stories, in particular the variety of Process types and the rich descriptions of the Participants through the use of expanded noun groups. Heather later reflected on the experience of introducing functional grammar to the students:

One of the things I became more aware of was all the different types of processes!! It was great to understand how to explicitly present these to the students in context. I was never really sure of how to direct the students to use specific ones for different purposes. I was amazed at how they understood and were able to use the new terminology so readily - even the slower ones could do this. The class was very motivated to participate in all the activities which was quite intriguing as we have some reluctant writers. We were very excited about the standard of their work. I noticed that their enthusiasm and ability to describe things showed a marked improvement. The students enjoyed the experience. They coped well with the terminology and began using it automatically in the classroom. We also used the terminology so it became part of the classroom language. We anticipate that this understanding will continue to grow as they are continually exposed to the grammar.

Critical reflection Look back at the diagram of the curriculum cycle in Chapter xx. How has Heather moved in and out of the various phases of the cycle?

Key terms


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narrative genre Processes Participants

Orientation action verbs noun group

Complication sensing verbs head word

Resolution saying verbs Quantifier

stages relating verbs Pointer

phases existing verbs Describer

experiential meanings tense Classifier

interpersonal meanings the verb group Thing

point of view Circumstance Qualifier

textual meanings prepositional phrase

cohesive patterns embedded clause

Summary In this chapter we have looked at a variety of narratives and how they are structured to achieve their purpose of entertaining. We have seen how the language functions to build a story world, to develop a relationship with the reader and between the characters, and to create a cohesive text. In particular we have focused on how language functions to represent ‘what is going on’ in the story – the Processes, the Participants in those Processes, and the Circumstances surrounding the Process. We have considered some strategies for teaching narratives and have looked at how one teacher draw on her knowledge of functional grammar in modelling the language features of narratives and supporting her students’ writing.

Questions and discussion points 1 How are you coping with the various language features in this chapter? It’s quite a bit

to come to an understanding of, so we would recommend that you do all the activities accompanying the chapter and keep looking at the sample texts to identify the various features mentioned. Don’t try to analyse every word – just those features that we have focused on here. Like everything else that’s somewhat new, it takes time and practice. We will revisit many of these features in the following chapters, but you might like to follow up the various points in greater detail by referring to a functional grammar reference book (see below).

2 Are you becoming confident with thinking and talking about language in terms both of its function (eg Circumstance) and the grammatical form/s used to express the function (eg adverb, adverb group, prepositional phrase)?

3 Do you feel that such knowledge about how language works will be useful in helping to support your students in appreciating how authors use language in creating narratives and how students themselves can focus on particular resources to improve their own writing?

Useful websites not finished yet


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Colin Friels reading The Loaded Dog: http://amlib.eddept.wa.edu.au/webquery.dll?v1=pbMarc&v20=14&v27=82879&v46=7619 Michael Z. Lewin’s homepage http://www.michaelzlewin.com/ Michele Coxon’s homepage http://biography.jrank.org/pages/1352/Coxon-Mich-le-1950.html

Further reading Australian Children’s Television Foundation (2011). Persuasive Text: An introduction to

using persuasive language in the classroom. DVD-ROM. Melbourne: Australian Children’s Television Foundation.

Christie, F., & Derewianka, B. (2008). School Discourse. London: Continuum.

Christie, F., & Martin, J. R. (Eds.). (1997). Genre and institutions: social processes in the workplace and school. London: Cassell.

Droga, L., & Humphrey, S. (2003). Grammar and Meaning: An Introduction for Primary Teachers. Berry, NSW: Target Texts.

Derewianka, B. (2011). A New Grammar Companion for Primary Teachers. Sydney: elit (Primary English Teaching Association).

Fang, Z., & Schleppegrell, a. (2008). Reading in the secondary content areas: A language-based pedagogy. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.

Hutton, P. (2011). Writing persuasive texts. Sydney: e:lit (Primary English Teaching Association).

Love, K., Baker, G., & Quinn, M. (2008). LASS: Literacy across the School Subjects (DVD). Love, K., Pidgon, K., Baker, G., & Hamston, J. (2005). BUILT: Building understandings in

literacy and teaching (DVD). Martin, J. R., & Rose, D. (2008). Genre Relations: Mapping Culture. London: Equinox.

Wing Jan, L. (2009). Write Ways: Modelling Text Forms. Melbourne: Oxford University Press.


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