Appreciating Inter Personal Relationships

2

Learning Objectives

By the end of this program you will be able to:

• Define an Interpersonal Relationship and describe its key areas of focus.

• Describe theories of Interpersonal Relationships

• Describe the 2 principles that impact perception

• Describe and list the 2 Conflict Spirals

• Describe a Communication Climate and list ways to develop a desirable climate

• Describe categories of Defensive and Supportive behaviours that effect and enhance relationships respectively.

• List ways to develop strong Interpersonal Relationships

2

3

Activity: Group Discussion

Category: Group Discussion

Time: 20 Minutes

Instructions:

Study the case-let.

Discuss and arrive at a conclusion.

3

4

Interpersonal Relationships and Their Importance

An Interpersonal Relationship refers to a strong association between two or more people with similar tastes, aspirations and interests.

Relationships are important in all spheres of life. We create relationships for various reasons such as:

• We are social beings, by nature.

• To feel that we belong.

• To achieve common interest.

• To resolve conflict.

• To overcome challenges obstructing attainment of our goals.

• To gain support in areas where we lack the required skills.

4

5

Focus of Interpersonal Relationships

• Interpersonal Relationships are dynamic systems.

• They have a beginning, a lifespan and an end.

• They can be fleeting or enduring.

• Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of interdependence.

• Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

• Appreciating how we impact others and how they impact us, helps improve our interpersonal relationships.

5

Change

Change

6

Theories of Interpersonal Relationships

Social Exchange Theory by George Casper Homans

• Give and Take forms the basis of almost all relationships

• Proportions vary as per relationship intensty.

• Feelings and emotions ought to be reciprocated for successful and long lasting relationship.

• A Good Relationship is a mutual fulfilling of needs.

6

Give Take

7

Theories of Interpersonal Relationships

Uncertainty Reductions Theory by Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese

7

Entry Stage Personal Stage Exit Stage

• Two unknown individuals meeting for the first time go through various stages to reduce the level of uncertainty between them.

• Good communication is key to the progress of the relationship.

8

Principles of Perception

2 Principles Impacting our Perception are:

• Attributions:

- Explanations or reasons given to people's words or actions

- Can be Internal or External Attributions

• Interpretations

- Assigning meaning to sensory information to achieve consistency

- Stereotypes, first impressions and self fulfilling prophecies impact our perceptions

8

9

Improving Interpersonal Relationships: The Communication Climate

What is a Communication Climate?

• The emotional feelings that are present when people interact with one another

• Communication climates are metaphors for the feelings we have when interacting with others

• Possible relational climates:

9

Stormy

Cold

Sunny

Warm

10

How Do Communication Climates Develop?

• Climates begin as soon as two people begin to communicate

• The type of messages sent will determine if the climate will be good or bad

• Verbal and nonverbal messages contribute to the feel of the climate

• They develop according to communicators responses to one another

10

11

Determining the Communication Climate

A Communication Climate is determined by:

• How communicators speak and act toward one another

• How much communicators feel that they are valued by the other person

• The way another person treats us is often an indicator for how they feel toward us

• We interpret other’s behaviors in order to determine how important we are to them

11

12

Barriers to Interpersonal Relationships: Self Perpetuating Spirals

• There are positive and negative spirals

• A spiral takes place when communicators reciprocate and build upon the messages that are sent to one another

• Each person’s message reinforces the other’s message

• Communicators build on one another’s messages

2 Types of Conflict Spirals:

• Escalatory conflict spirals- one attack leads to another attack,

and continues to build

• De-escalatory conflict spirals- when communicators decrease

amount of involvement with communication by continued withdraw

12

13

Confirming Responses: Sunny and Warm Days Ahead!

• Verbal & Nonverbal messages that convey your value for the other person:

“you matter to me”

“you are special”

Types of Confirming Messages:

• Recognition- showing recognition of another person’s presence

• Acknowledgment- to recognize and validate another’s ideas and feelings

• Endorsement- recognizing another’s ideas and feelings and showing

agreement for them.

13

14

The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviors

14

Defensive Supportive

Evaluation Description

Control Problem Orientation

Strategy Spontaneity

Neutrality Empathy

Superiority Equality

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.Certainty Provisionalism

15

Activity: The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviours

Category: Working In Teams

Time:

•Discussion Time: 5 Mins

•Sharing Time: 3 Mins each

15

16

Building Interpersonal Relationships

• Show Your Appreciation

• Communicate your Interest

• Be Everyones Mr. Sunshine. Be Positive!

• Watch Your Body Language

16

17

Activity: Valuing Others

Category: Individual & Team Activity

Time:

• DISC Inventory & Scoring: 8 Mins

• Discussion Time: 5 Mins

• Sharing Time: 5 Mins each

Instructions:

• Attempt the DISC Questionnaire.

• Join the Group that shares your dominanat behavioral style.

• Discuss your traits.

• Present the key characteristics of your style to the class.

17

18

Appreciating Others

• Be genuine.

• Be immediate.

• Identify & state specific actions that were admirable.

• Connect the actions to the persons qualities.

• Recongnise what is going well rather than what isnt.

• Say Please & Thank You, Please as often as you can.

18

19

Communicate Your Interest

• Focus the conversation on them rather than on you.

• Ask questions to discover motives, interests & common goals.

• Ask others for their opinions and suggestions.

• Allow others to speak rather than monopolizing the conversation

• Focus attention on understanding of the words rather than your response.

• Catalogue information that is being conveyed.

• Give feedback by commending speaker on some highlights of the message.

• Question to obtain more information. It shows you were listening.

• Maintain eye contact. It conveys interest.

19

People want you to listen to them more that they want you to agree with them.

20

Be Everyone’s Mr. Sunshine. No One Likes a Complainer.

• The content of communication is important to Interpersonal Relationships.

• Negative people repel others.

• People prefer upbeat communicators.

• Shift your focus to the other persons problem and help out.

• Visualize: Schedule 5 minutes to envision your goal when

faced with a problem.

• Write down your goal. It needs to be that specific.

• Focus on solutions rather than problems.

• Maintain a cheerful attitude.

• Most people are drawn to a person who can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor.

• Smile. It is unspoken communication that impacts relationships.

20

No one wants to be around someone who is always morose and frowning.

21

Watch Your Body Language

Good Body Language:

• Maintain Eye Contact.

• When seated lean towards your speaker to convey interest.

• Nodding to convey interest.

• Smiling

21

Body Language to Avoid:

• Staring or shifting your gaze quickly

• Looking over your speakers shoulder or looking away

• Leaning back when seated

• Hands in pocket or behind your back.

22

Body Language: Facial Expressions & Their Messages

22

The Closed Face

The Neutral Face

The Open Face

23

Conflict Resolution

• Conflict occurs in situations in which there is opposition. Opposition occurs when a solution cannot be found in a disagreement.

• Conflict is a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, well-being, interests or concerns.

• Conflict is healthy and a normal part of any human relationship.

• Conflict resolution involves identifying areas of agreement and areas of compromise so that a solution to the disagreement is identified.

23

24

Responses to Conflict

24

• Competing • Collaborating

• Avoiding • Accommodating

• Compromising

• Low • High

• High

• Low

•A

ssertiveness

• Competing • Collaborating

• Avoiding • Accommodating

• Compromising

• Low

• High

• Low

• Co-operation

25

Resolving Conflict

25

Competing (Forcing)High on assertiveness, Low on cooperation. Outcome -

I Win / U Loose (Either / or paradigm)

Collaborating (Problem Solving)

High on assertiveness, High on cooperation.

Outcome - I Win / U Win

(Infinite possibilities paradigm)

Compromising (Sharing)Take the middle path. Give some take some.

Avoiding (Withdrawal) Low on assertiveness, Low

on cooperation. Outcome- Loose / Loose

Accommodating (Smoothing)

Low on assertiveness, High on cooperation.

Outcome- Loose / Loose

26

Conflict Resolution

• Realize that some conflicts are inevitable at work.

• Handle conflicts sooner rather than later.

• Ask nicely

• Invite the other person to talk about the situation.

• Observe

• Apologize.

• Appreciate.

• Identify the consequences.

• Define an objective

• Request.

• Get mediation.

26

27

Activity: Conflict Resolution

Category: Individual Activity

Time: 5 Mins

Instructions:

• Think of a recent conflict that you were a part of

• Answer the following questions:

- What could you appreciate about your opponents point of view?

- What could you appreciate about your point of view?

- What were the consequences for you and your opponent?

- How did you handle the conflict? What was your biggest challenge? What was your proud victory?

-What did you learn from the conflict situation as a whole? How would you do things differently?

27

28

Over To You.

• What worked well?

• What is one concept that will stay with you post this session?

• Any suggestions?

28

29

Leading People. Leading Organizations.

Thank you

®

29