approachable leadership survival...

Enclosed are ready-to-use templates of the 6 tools found in The Approachability Playbookplus 4 bonus tools (including our “one-on-one” agenda and our “3 questions” guide). Use the guide on page 2 to decide which tool to use based on your situation.

We hope you enjoy these tools. Please let us how you are using the tools and any success stories or suggestions for improvement.

Thank you!

Approachable Leadership®

SURVIVAL TOOLKIT

©2017 | ApproachableLeadership.com | 800-888-9115

WHICHTOOLSHOULDIUSE?

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“I’mnotsuremyteamtrustsmeorfeelssafe comingtome.”

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

”Icouldworkonmy‘curbappeal’asaleader.”

✓ ✓ ✓

“Sometimes Igetbusyandthingsslipthroughthecracks.”

✓ ✓ ✓

“Mycommunicationskillscouldusealittlework.”

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

“Isometimeshavetroubleconnectingwith others.”

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

“I’mnotalwayssurewhattosaywhenImeetwithmyteam.”

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

“Ineedhelpgrowingandmotivatingmyteam.”

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓


Power distance gaps cause major problems. But how can you tell if there is a gap? This tool helps you recognize behavior that suggests a

power distance problem.

• Physical Gaps physical avoidance behavior can suggest a gap• Verbal Gaps mitigated or indirect speech may express power distance• Behavioral Gaps many times actions speak louder than words – watch for gaps

between what someone says and what they do

Recognizing Gaps Tool

CHECKING IN

Tool in Brief

TOOL IN PRACTICE

Discussion Starters… Once you notice a gap, try this to close it


Use the tool to recognize signals of power distance. When you notice one use the discussion starters to help shrink the gap.

Physical Gaps• Physical distance, turned toward an “exit”• Avoiding eye contact, looking at ceiling• Closed body language (arms crossed)• Distracted, seems lost in thought• Holding back or agitated body language

Verbal Gaps… These are the most recognizable signals of power distance• Watch for mitigated speech like hints (“I wonder if…”); preference (“perhaps we should...”);

question (“do you think ___ would work?”); or team suggestion (“why don’t we try ___?”)• Look for attempts to ”sugarcoat” or downplay bad news• Being overly polite or deferential• Quickly deferring, backing down when rejected by someone in power

“You seem uncomfortable. It’s OK – I really want to know what you think.”“I’m not 100% sure what I think about this myself. Tell me what you really think.”“OK, that’s what I do [name behavior] when I’m not sure if I should say something. What’s up?”“I need your help. Can you be honest and tell me exactly what you think about this?”“I may be completely off base here, I don’t know. Can you tell me what you really think?”

Behavioral Gaps• Promising one thing, doing another• No follow through or follow up• Passive aggressive actions• Being “too busy” or procrastinating• “Changing mind” about importance of issue

The 3 Questions Tool

CHECKING IN

TOOL IN PRACTICE

During the Workshop we learn the 3 Questions of Approachable

Leaders. Those are a starting point. This tool helps you adapt the 3 Questions to your workplace.

Nobody wakes up hoping to do a crappy job.

My job as a leader is to reduce friction.People want to make progress.

Do you have what you need?What would make work better?

Where are you going?

The Three Questions (and their assumptions)

Do you have what you need? This is the resource question. Can you ask it in a way that is suitable to your workplace?

Other ways to ask:q Anything I can do for you?q You need anything?q Everything good?q You’re crushing it today!q How am I doing?

How else can you ask?_____________________________________________________________________

What would make work better? This is the innovation question. Can you ask it in a way that is suitable to your workplace?

Other ways to ask:q Anything in your way?q What’s your best new idea?q Can you think of a better way?q What would you change?q Anything new?


Where are you going? This is the progress question. Can you ask it in a way that is suitable to your workplace?Other ways to ask:

q You learning anything new?q What’s your next move?q Applying for a promotion?q What are you proud of?q Any new “highlight reel” work?



One on One AgendaName:

Today’s Date:

Period:

How are you doing since we last talked?What went well?

Any challenges?

Your NeedsWhat do you need?

What would make work better?

Where are you going?

How Can I Help?What do you need from me?

How can I make work better?

How can I help you get where you’re going?

What do you want to work on over the next 30 days?

One on One Guide

CHECKING IN

How are you doing?

I’m great! Doing good Could be better Not good

WHERE ARE WE GOING?


Many are slow to trust people in power. This creates a “power

distance gap.” Approachable leaders use the Approachability Window Tool

to shrink the gap.

The goal of this tool is to improve relationships by revealing more about yourself and seeking feedback. When you don’t seek feedback you create blind spots. When you don’t share with others, you close them out. This may cause them to withdraw.

Tips to Encourage Feedback

1. Encourage feedback. Sincerely ask for input.

2. Stop/Start. What should I start doing? What should I stop doing?

3. Stress the value of the feedback. Why is it important? Why is this person uniquely able to provide it?

4. LISTEN! Use our Active Listening Tool to make sure you do a good job of listening. This by itself encourages feedback.

5. Don’t be defensive! Accept the feedback, be open-minded and reflect on it. Thank them – it’s a gift!

Tips to Grow Relationships

1. Take your time – sharing too much too soon can be worse than not sharing. Go slow.

2. Ask questions. Don’t interrogate but show interest and learn as much as you can.

3. When you share with someone mention the relationship – “I don’t tell everyone this, but we are close so I’ll tell you…”

4. Be empathetic (don’t one-up, offer unsolicited advice, etc.) Use our Empathy Toolkit.

5. Don’t share secrets.6. Acknowledge and appreciate if they

reveal something new.

Approachability Window Tool

CHECKING IN

Tool in BriefApproachability Window

TOOL IN PRACTICE


The first cornerstone of Approachable Leadership® is to be welcoming and

create the right space. This tool provides practical tips on how to be

available, warm and present.Right Space Tool

CHECKING IN

TOOL IN PRACTICE


Use the tool to identify opportunities to improve your physical space, your behavior, your availability and your presence.

Right Space is created by:• Physical Space• Availability• Warmth• Presence

Physical Space••Is the physical space inviting

and warm?••Comfortable place to sit? ••No obstacles between (same

side of desk)?••Personal objects or discussion

starters?••Is it quiet? Can it be private? ••Is there a reason to visit? Food

works great - so do games.

Availability••Available to meet when

needed?••Do you block scheduled "drop

in" time?••Convenient way to schedule

time on your calendar?••Do you allow interruptions for

emergency situations?••Do you "advertise" ways to

meet with you?

Warmth••Are you welcoming and

neighborly?••Are you smiling? Remember you

smile with your eyes. ••Have you asked open-ended

questions?••Are you doing more than half

the talking? Shut up.••How are they feeling? Are they

comfortable? ••What do they need?

Presence••Full stop. Give full attention.••Put away your phone, close

your laptop. No distractions.••Close your door or signal to

others that you are in a meeting.

••Listen actively. Don't try to think of what you'll say next.

••Summarize what you've heard and confirm understanding.

••No problem solving till asked.

The Connection Model

Pay Attention(eye contact, not

thinking about your response)

Show the speaker you are listening

(nonverbal, encourage, build, clarify, validate)

Provide feedback(restate, reflect,

summarize)

Don’t judge(encourage, validate)

Respond appropriately (restate, validate,

reflect)

Active Listening PhrasesCan you tell me more?

What does that look like?I thought I heard you say… right?You seem [emotion] about this…

What I hear you saying is…Have you considered…

When you talk about this I noticed [behavior]…You’ve obviously put a lot of effort into this…

Let me make sure I understand you….Please tell me more about that…

That sounds like a great story, tell me more…Is there anything else?

A cornerstone habit of Approachable Leadership® is active listening.

Without this skill there is no way to achieve understanding. This tool provides practical tips on how to

improve your active listening skills.Active Listening Tool

CHECKING IN

TOOL IN PRACTICE

Use the tool to identify opportunities to improve your active listening skills.

Active Listening:• Pay Attention• Listening Behavior• Feedback• No Judgment• Respond



Empathy is hard. Leaders often feel like they need to have all the answers

or they’ll be seen as weak. Use this tool to help build your empathy skills

and grow relationships.Empathy SLC+C Tool

CHECKING IN

Tool in Brief Empathy is the opposite of sympathy. Here is how to express it:

TOOL IN PRACTICE

Collaborate. If you are asked, use solution-focused questions to find an answer.


Use the tool to use the Stop, Listen, Confirm, + Collaborate model.

Stop. Give your attention, full stop.• Put away your phone, close your laptop• Remove any distractions• If you can’t pay attention reschedule• Block uninterrupted time to meet• Close your door – ask for privacy

Confirm. Make sure you understand the situation and the feeling.• “You feel ________ because of ________. Do I have that right?”• Give them space to correct your interpretation• Remain in Gestalt mindset – don’t give answers or advice• Sit with that feeling you just described, think about a time you felt the same way• Make sure you have confirmed understanding before moving to the next step

Listen. Use active listening skills.• Show speaker you are listening• Provide feedback (summarize, reflect)• No judgment, encourage more• Respond appropriately (validate, restate)• Focus on them – not what you will say next

Avoid problem-focused questions.1. What’s wrong?2. Why do you have this problem?3. Whose fault is it?4. How long has this been going on?5. What is this costing you?6. Why haven’t you overcome this problem?

Ask solution-focused ones instead. 1. What result do we really want?2. When can we start?3. What do we need to get started?4. What resources are available?5. Who can help?6. What can we start now?

Stop Listen Confirm +Collaborate

The essential habit of support happens with good follow up and follow through. Lack of follow through

destroys trust and credibility. Here are some practical tips to improve your

follow up and follow through.Follow-Up Follow-Through Tool

CHECKING IN

TOOL IN PRACTICE

These are the 6 Key Areas for Follow Up and Follow Through.

Follow-Up and Follow-Through:

RulesToolsHabits

Environment



Follow Up Follow

Through

Supportive Environment,

Tools

Accountability Partner

Schedule It

Simple, Concrete Rules

Start, Build Momentum

Make It Routine, Identity

Follow-Up Rules to Experiment with: • Clean up your workspace each day before you leave. • List your top three to-do items before you leave. • Empty your in-boxes (physical and virtual) each day and

add follow-up items to your to-do list. • Limit your in-boxes (one physical and one virtual in-box). • Don’t turn on your computer or tablet until you have

taken a walk through the work area. • Only check email at certain times each day. • Arrive 30 minutes before your team to prepare for day. • Make follow-up an agenda item for all meetings. • Follow through on one to-do item before you wake up

your computer each time you sit at your desk. • Add follow-up to your morning or evening routine.

Supportive Environment Toolsto Experiment with:

• Use an obvious, physical in-box where people know they can put items they want you to see.

• Use an “Always Around” in-box where you can capture follow-up items (a notebook, notecards, or a phone app are the most common).

• Use a “dictation” app so to-do items can be captured by voice (Siri® can add items to your reminders list or a document by just speaking them into your phone).

• Consider using a “location-aware” to-do app, that can remind you to take an action when you are in a certain location (like picking up a form when you are at the corporate office).

• Use a whiteboard to put your key to-do items, follow-up items, or issue-tracking system.

• Share an Excel® spreadsheet with your team so they can see progress on open items and when items close.

Learn numerous other follow-up and follow-through ideas in The

Approachability Playbook (ALplaybook.com)

People often behave differently than we expect. Our unconscious biases

attempt to explain behavior we don’t understand in our own terms, and we

must fight this tendency.

• Report what you observed – FACTS ONLY• Walk a Mile consider different perspectives; “Nobody thinks they are the villain.”• Confirm discuss and validate your interpretation with the other person; assume

positive intent; “You feel _____ because of _____. Do I have that right?”

Report the Facts: Describe FACTS not motive or feelings; remain neutral and exact

“Walk a Mile” Tool

CHECKING IN

Tool in Brief

TOOL IN PRACTICE

Walk a Mile: Consider other perspectives; attribute positive motive to those involved.

Confirm understanding: Validate feelings; reconcile perspectives; assume positive intent


Use the Report/Walk a Mile/Confirm prompts below and complete with as much detail as you can. Use the back side if needed.

Key QuestionsWhat happened first, second, third?Who was involved?Exactly what did you observe?How did each person behave?Did anyone else observe what happened?

Key QuestionsWhat different ways explain the behavior?What assumptions am I making?What is the best possible reason it happened?How would I feel if I was in their shoes?What if this was your wife, child, or parent?

Key QuestionsHow do I think they are feeling?Why do I think they feel that way?Is this the best possible explanation?Have I confirmed their feelings?Have I missed anything?

CHECKING IN

TOOL IN PRACTICE

q Stop: Full stop. Eliminate distractions. Reschedule if not able to give complete attention.

q Listen: Use Active Listening Tool. Show you are listening, provide nonjudgmental feedback.

q Confirm understanding: You

feel [emotion] because of [reason]. Do I have that right?

q Gestalt mindset: Empathy. No advice. Share experience of similar emotion (don’t “one-up”).

q Physical space: Welcoming? Inviting? Open door? Comfortable place to sit?

q Warmth: Genuinely glad? Appropriate touch? Eye contact? Body language?

q Availability: Make time to meet? Walk around to others’ space? Keep appointments?

q Present: Limit distractions? Single tasking? Sole focus on the individual?

q Solution-focused questions:How do we solve? Who can help? What’s our goal?

q Follow up tool: Use Right ActionTool. Inbox always with you. Routinely empty. Schedule.

q Follow up rule: Touch only once. Do it now. Return calls and emails on schedule.

q Get help: Accountability partner. Reminder if not back when promised.

Right Space

Right Feeling

Right Action

During the Workshop we practice acting “Just Right” and learn to recognize approachable (and

unapproachable) behavior. This tool continues building this skill.Recognize Approachability Tool



Gripes Are Good Tool

When a complaint surfaces, this is a golden opportunity to reduce frustration for your team. Use the tool to secure advice and buy-in from

your team member, and track actions.

What would make work better?

What is your advice?

What small wins can we identify?

What can I do?


Name: ____________________________________________ Date:_______________________

The Win, Know, Show Progress Worksheet

CHECKING IN

What’s Next? What to improve? Why important or meaningful?

Win What’s your next small win?

Know What’s your “right way/wrong way” yardstick?

Show What will you show to who when you’re ready?

Win

KnowShow

What’s Next?

FOLLOWING UP

Copy of completed worksheet given to teammate.

Date of follow-up discussion: ________________________________________________


Take ActionWhat’s The Next Step On YourApproachable Leadership Journey?

Here are some useful next steps you can take today to help increase “grit” and enthusiasm, improve cooperation and reduce turnover in your company:

Pick up The Approachability Playbook for your leaders.The Approachability Playbook is a simple, easy-to-read (just over 100 pages) and practical book on the one simple behavior that is transforming leaders around the country. Pick up a copy for each leader on your team today.

Learn more about our Learning System.Like the Survival Kit? We offer a number of ways to introduce Approachable Leadership® to organizations. You can provide a year’s worth of powerful leader training at an investment that will make your finance team smile.

How can Approachable Leadership help your company? Learn more about the design and delivery of Approachable Leadership Workshops and Learn & Lead Huddles. Plus get any of your questions answered. A high-value use of time.

Take Action What’s Next?

Does your company struggle with change, engagement or turnover?Approachable Leadership can help.

Call 800-888-9115 to schedule yourFREE Executive Briefing today.

©2017 \ ApproachableLeadership.com \ 800-888-9115

©2017 \ ApproachableLeadership.com \ 800-888-9115

Summing Up Return on Investment

71%DISENGAGED

89%ENGAGED

20%QUITTING

94%STAYING

75%FAILED

CHANGE

88%EXTRA

EFFORT

The average company loses over $7 million per year due to the “silent killers.” What are they costing you?

A small investment in improving first-level leaders offers huge return–and a muchbetter place to work.

Companies with highly engaged employees perform 202% better than competitors.

Turnover costs the average small company over $1.3 million per year.

Companies who excel at innovation and change earn 1/3 more than competitors who don’t.

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