april fool's day 2015

Volume 20 Edition 10 Waukee High School 555 SE University Avenue, Waukee, IA 50263 April 1, 2015

ArrowheaDPROM GRINDING TO A HALTBailie Uppena & Ellie Drees

Save yourself some trou-ble, boys and girls, and stop fretting about finding a prom date. In fact, stop fretting about prom, period. This year, Waukee has decided to forgo an actual Prom and just go ahead with After Prom. Anyone who has been to a high school dance knows the problems associated with it, particularly the dancing itself. Grinding has become a big issue at Waukee. While reviewing pictures taken at this year’s homecoming, the Arrowhead staff uncovered just how dirty the dancing has gotten. Principal Kirk Johnson is not oblivious to this fact and has decided to do something

about it. In an attempt to pre-vent dirty dancing, Prom 2015 has been canceled. Not only will Prom be cancelled this year, but mea-sures will be taken to eliminate grinding at future dances. Previously, chaperones have not done anything about the inappropriate dancing. Next year, how-ever, this will change. Chap-erones will be forced to go into the masses to catch students grinding. If students are caught more than three times, they will be excused from the dance. In order to stop the grind-ing, the type of music played at dances will also be differ-

It has recently been an-nounced that Waukee’s foot-ball stadium is being moved to make way for a parking garage. In addition, the prac-tice fields will be torn down and additional parking will be added. Initially, the parking garage will be three stories. The Arrowhead reached out to Principal Johnson, who stated, “I am excited for the new addition.” In addition to the park-ing garage, skywalks will be constructed to make the long walks a little more bearable. Walkways will extend all the way to Prairieview for the freshmen who walk to and from the high school. Not only will the walkways help mo-tivate people to park in the garage, but the garage itself will also be heated, keeping

the cars nice and toasty in the winter months. Senior Ana Muilenburg re-sponded, “I would rather park at the garage because it’s heated.” The parking garage will also provide parking for the middle school teachers, with a walkway to the middle

school for added conve-nience. The stadium will not be gone forever, though. It will simply be moved over by the Waukee YMCA. “I live right next to the stadium, so I love the fact it will be further away,” com-

Stadium Turned GarageNathan Peterson

mented junior Rhett Hammel. The new stadium will also be the place to practice, since the practice fields will be torn down for even more parking. The estimated $30 million price tag will be paid through an increase in registration fees next year throughout the school district. Considering the rapid growth in recent years, the increase in registration fees should cover the cost. There will also be an increase in parking fees from $25 to about $250. If you don’t have a parking pass and are just visiting for more than 30 min-utes, there will also be a small fee. Overall, the new projects should make parking less of a hassle for students and teach-ers.

DO DON’T

ent. Only clean versions of songs will be allowed; and even then, any songs with in-appropriate content may be prohibited. Principal Johnson will have the final say on all playlists for school dances. This new rule will have a big impact on dances here at Waukee. It may even lead to the other surrounding schools banning grinding. Prom 2015 is the price students must pay for grinding. While the dance is can-celled, After Prom is still a go. After Prom will still begin at 11:30 p.m. and last until 5 a.m. , giving students plenty of time to kill after they go out to din-ner.

The Arrowhead asked for students’ opinions about the recent change, and few were not pleased: “This is horrible. Its my senior year, I want to go to prom,” stated senior Danika Mikesh. “People won’t just stop grinding. Next year a lot of people are bound to get thrown out because of [the new rule],” junior Jakob Alli-son commented. Others agreed that the dancing has gotten a bit too out-of-hand: “I’ve seen the dancing at homecoming, and I’ve got to admit - it’s bad. I person-ally am not too upset about the grinding ban,” admitted sophomore Emily Lynch.

All photos in this article were taken at Waukee’s 2015 Winter Formal in February. The crowd above nearly resembles a mosh pit of sweaty high schoolers all grinding on one another. Photos by Leah Wilson.

The stadium above shows the location of the new parking garage. After years of games, meets, and practices, many athletes will have to say goodbye to Waukee’s beloved stadium.

***This is the April Fool’s issue. NONE of the articles written are factual in any way, shape, or form.***

Lauren VespaPublisher

[email protected]

The LeahsBusiness Editors

[email protected]

Adam HensleyWeb Editor

[email protected]

Mariah PrendergastPrint Editor

[email protected]

Mady AdamsCaleb Andrews

Lauren BiggerstaffEllie Drees

Analese HauberVivian Le

Makenzie LisleEmma Lyon

Nathan PetersonAndrea Poppinga

Anna RhodesJack Scafuri

Claire SimmonsHannah Stessman

Bailie UppenaBella von HarzDillon Waskow

Re

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rs Every two weeks, for 20 years, the Arrowhead newspaper has been handed out to many classes and thousands of students at Waukee High School, but that will be changing soon. Keeping in mind the well known phrase, “All good things must come to an end,” the Waukee Arrowhead regrets to inform readers that this issue of the Arrowhead will be the last and final issue of the Arrowhead ever printed. The Arrowhead staff has worked countless hours to produce high quality newspapers but can’t seem to please readers. The Waukee Arrowhead is a stu-dent- led and student- funded newspaper. The staff does not receive automatic funds like the athletic teams or theater groups. The hardworking writers can be seen selling donuts on Friday mornings or delivering phone books -- these are the main source of revenue for the paper. The Arrowhead can no longer afford to put out papers. After asking a few students how they felt about the paper shutting down, one response stood out, “Good. The Arrowhead sucks. In my family, we use the Arrow-head as toilet paper,” senior Nick Gunther stated. Uncomfortable about knowing how the Gunther family uses the Arrowhead, reporter Makenzie Lisle replied, saying, “It was never meant to be used as toilet pa-per.” After hearing Gunther’s response, the staff decided it would be best to leave it at that. The Arrowhead couldn’t have been possible without its readers. Thank you to everyone who followed the news stories over the years, and thank you to those who gave the staff feedback, whether it was positive or constructive. The pub-lab doors were always open for anyone looking to write or to give feedback; but, as of now, the doors are officially closed.

The publications staffers pictured to the right. The publications staff consisted of sixteen reporters, a publisher, print editor, web editor, and two business editors.

End of an EraEmma Lyon


During the past several months, discussions regarding potential date changes for spring break have been up in the air. Principal Kirk Johnson explained, “With the change of the start date next fall, we had to add a week into the schedule. Lots of thought went into the decision, but this was the decision that made the most sense in our district.” Although he understands that many students probably will not understand the deci-sion right away, he’s hoping students learn to accept the decision. Students are extremely upset about the fact spring break is no longer going to be a week-long celebration full of vacationing on the beach with friends and family. Stu-dents spend the entire school year looking forward to the week of spring break. It is a much anticipated time of the year, and students agree that a week off is necessary.

The backlash from this de-cision has been a lot more dif-ficult to handle than the Wau-kee district was expecting. Even parents have joined the fight against the decision. Not only is this a week that their teenage kids look forward to, but many of the adults use this week as a getaway. One Waukee parent complained, “This is my one week of free-dom, and now they’re taking it away!” Seniors in particular, use the week of spring break to enjoy one last hoorah with all their high school friends before every one goes their own ways. Principal Johnson, as well and Superintendent Dave Wilkerson said they would pos-sibly reconsider the decision if there were enough upset parents and students fighting the issue. If they want to see a change, students need to be extremely aggressive about conveying how important spring break really is.

Andrea Poppinga

Beaches like this one will be abandoned by students in the Waukee district over the week of spring break next year. The change of dates in the Waukee school calendar next year do not allow a week off in March for the traditional spring break week.

One of the many perks of becoming a senior is the abil-ity to have leisurely blocks off. When choosing classes for senior year; juniors are able to decide whether they will have a full schedule or leave some blocks open, as long as they have met the credit criteria. The class of 2016 can plan on re-registering for full schedules senior year be-cause school faculty has de-cided to no longer allow for open blocks. This has come as a shock to many. It was not long ago that seniors’ privilege to opt out of finals was also taken away. Academic Adviser Ted Nu-gent stated, “We believe that students will benefit from tak-ing more classes rather than taking blocks off.” Nugent also shared that a board will be meeting today to discuss the subject further and to get specifics about what next year is going to look like. With Waukee’s expand-ing school district, the school will need to hire more teach-ers to be able to support increase in full schedules. Students are outraged

by the change in plans for their senior year. Current junior Ian Coon explained, “This is not fair to the students who planned to spend their hours off from school working.”Faculty is still standing by its position to take away the op-tion to take blocks off. Seniors will still be allowed to gradu-ate early. Administrators be-lieve that students who take a full schedule their senior year will be better prepared for their future. Veteran teacher Gertrude Hildenhopper shared, “We want our stu-dents to be able to succeed in life, and more education is the first step in doing so.” Junior Jessica Toliver stat-

Sorry Class of 2016Mady Adams

ed, “I was planning on taking blocks off because I have met all of the criteria to do so, and I believe that, as a senior, we deserve to have this perk.” Toliver continued, “I do not have any other classes that I want to take as a senior, and I think it would be beneficial to have time off before I gradu-ate and go to college.” Frau Getting is conflicted about the idea. “I want stu-dents to have the time to fully learn a foreign language,” she stated. Getting then

continued, “Although, I think that students should have a choice of what they want to do, since they are going to be graduating soon.” Unfortunately for those who planned on taking blocks off next year and for years to come, this will no longer be an option. Sorry seniors.

Above is this year’s registration for next year seniors. Class of 2016 will need to re-register for their senior year with a full schedule. This year’s seniors are happy that they got the opportunity to have blocks off.

Class of 2015 jumping for joy in the Dominican Republic because they got a spring break.Next year students will not have a spring break.

A student begrudgingly looking through the course guide trying to fill their schedule. Something all students who took blocks off will need to do soon.

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Spring Break: A Thing of the Past

Say Goodbye...


Lights. Camera. Action!Leah Doyle

This fall of 2015, the lights are set, the camera is ready Waukee High School is bring-ing the action. Directors chose Waukee High School as the stage for a new movie coming out in the year of 2017. Information about the movie is being kept on lock-down; however, once the filming begins, everyone will be responsible for signing a nondisclosure agreement in order to attend the school while filming. If a student re-fuses to sign the waiver, he or she will continue their learning at the Vince Meyer Learning Center. The school volunteered the school grounds for scenes and will receive compensa-tion. The movie producers will be giving hidden stars around Waukee a moment to shine by hosting an open audition for all students in the high school. Auditions will be held in the Field House. Many students might even get the

chance to act alongside their favorite celebrities. Talented students not in-terested in appearing on the silver screen have the oppor-tunity to take part in helping the crew. They will assist in set-ting up scenes, shooting film, creating transitions, and much more. Selected students will also help with special effects and other digital aspects of the movie. All student job opportunities will require an audition. Students may still be able to participate in the movie. By signing the waiver, students are allowing the movie producers to use them as extras. The directors claim that Waukee High School sets the perfect picture for this mystery movie. With the calamitous plague of senioritis, the catty and annoying underclassmen, and the cliquey personali-ties of the student body - this school provides a perfect environment for the upcom-

ing cliché school movie. Rumors in Hollywood reached ears here at Wau-kee, telling astonishing stories that give new, impressing hints about the movie. A source said that comedian Tina Fey is working on another school-based comedy that will amaze Hollywood. It has not been confirmed whether this is the movie she’s workng on or not; but this movie will sure-ly change the student body as well as the community.

To demonstrate their school spirit, students at Wau-kee will be asked to represent themselves in a professional manner and continue going on with their daily lives. The student body, teachers, and other school employees will need to remain casual for scenes to run smoothly, quick-ly, and without flaws. People appearing in the movie as small parts, big parts, or even extras will earn themselves a place in history and are given a chance to pursue this as a career in the future. Support your school and your future by partaking in this amazing opportunity. More information on this will be pro-vided once our administrators and and other staff members are notified of any changes. Students can check our website, www.waukeearrowhead.com for updates weekly. Also, send your open audition requests to [email protected].

Students’ notebooks will not be the only thing snapping shut this fall. (Photo from amazon.com)

Goodbye, CreativityLauren Biggerstaff

In preparation for the coming 2015-2016 school year, Waukee School District has settled on an unexpected change concerning the attire of its students for next year. Uniforms will be issued to each student, ending the reign of shorter-than-short shorts and exposure of less-than-appeal-ing boxers. Confirmed facts regard-ing uniforms are as follows-- students will be required to wear a white button up with the top button secured and a purple sweatervest to pull over. Wrinkle-free dress pants and black, plain shoes are also part of the new boys’ dress code. Girls will be re-quired to wear knee-length, pleated skirts and black flats. Both genders will be given a purple and gold striped tie and issued a formal suit coat for when the weather is chilly. Mandatory purple backpacks will replace any bags students carry. Students also have the choice of a simple, black bag if backpacks are too small for textbooks. If students, mainly females, prefer cross-dressing or are uncomfortable with new uniform standards, the choice of simple black pants are available for each gen-

der. The decision was not an easy one. The opposing argument was strong-- uni-forms have the potential to limit student creativity and freedom of expression. In a school full of students dressed exactly the same, Waukee’s unique and diverse environ-ment could be altered for the worse. Not only are the chosen uniforms ugly, but they are

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undeniably unflattering to certain body types. Also, the claim of saving money for a family is useless, for students still need clothes outside of school. However, this was not enough to deter the decision. The main goal is to eliminate the growing source of bul-lying and exclusion among the student body. Popularity and isolation is determined by different types of things, one

of those being appearance. Uniforms ultimately create a feeling of equality by ridding the environment of the fash-ion prejudice. The new uniforms will be delivered to next year’s high schoolers by the end of summer. Refusal to wear the required outfit will result in two-hour detentions, and repeated offenses will call for a greater punishment, such as in-school suspension.

Purple and gold striped tie

Formal, pressed black pants

Boys’ long-sleeved coat

Pleated skirt

Purple sweater vest

Girls’ long sleeve cardigan

Bag choices, back-back or side bag.

Summer uniforms will be given for the beginning and end of the year. The same likeness will be included, just

adapted for the season. Go to waukeearrow-

head.com for the colored version of

the uniforms.

Pencil skirt


Kim Jong, Number One!Caleb Andrews

Waukee is known for its amazing and supportive fans throughout the district, but what people might not know about Waukee is it has a super fan way east. North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un considers himself Waukee’s biggest sup-porter, ever since the school moved into class 4A in 2008. “I watch every Waukee sporting event I can on the Cube,” the Korean leader stated after finishing up his morning meetings. When asked about who his favorite athlete was, Un replied, “My favorite player is Anthony Nelson because he can play football and basket-ball so well, and he’d make a fabulous soldier in my army.” When Un is not in the public eye or threating other countries, he likes to check in on how Waukee is doing in the sports world and wears his

New Tanning Law in IowaBella von Harz

Everyone is still sporting their glowing tan from spring break, but that won’t last for long. Prom is right around the corner and, if you’re planning on using a tanning bed up until the big day, think again. As of today, individuals in the state of Iowa must be at least 21 years of age to tan. The law no longer has any loopholes for individuals under the age of 21. Getting a signature from a parent or guardian will no longer do the trick. Customers must provide a valid ID when purchasing

time in tanning beds across the state. “This law makes me want to set myself on fire,” stated senior Breann Pieretti. Everyone is wondering whether the new regula-tion is necessary, and sci-entists argue with a definite yes. Research indicates that high-risk exposure to ultra-violet light happens more commonly in teens and that blistering sunburns and over-exposure during childhood years greatly increases the chance of developing skin cancer later in life. After re-cent recommendations from the International Agency for Research on Cancer stated, “Policymakers should consider enacting measures, such as prohibiting minors and dis-couraging young adults from using indoor tanning facilities, to protect the general popu-lation from possible additional risk for melanoma” (ncsl.org), policymakers in Iowa began to evaluate the use of tanning beds by minors in the state of Iowa. People everywhere are devastated with the new policy change. “How am I

With tanning banned for all indi-viduals under the age of 21, the difference in looks will be aston-ishing. Will we we even recog-nize each other?

These ladies are basking in the sun, soaking up as many rays as they possibly can, since tanning beds are no longer an option for them.

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Waukee Track and Field State Championship T-shirt around his office. “I know I’m supposed to hate America, so I don’t wear it in public but, believe me, I have been a proud Warrior fan since day one,” Un said. When the Arrowhead asked about the nuclear threats towards the United States, Un laughed and said it was nothing but a joke, and Waukee would stay out of harms way in any sort of nu-clear fallout. He promised the rest of America would perish, but he would shelter Waukee from any sort of damage. Un’s love for Waukee is untouchable. He is a devoted fan, just like everyone else in the area, and the only dif-ference is he is the supreme leader of North Korea. ALL HAIL THE SUPREME LEADER!

Supreme Leader Un did take time out of his busy schedule to come support the girls’ team at state. Un is seen here (circled) in the crowd hiding from the public and able to join the students in cheering on the Warriors to victory.

supposed to be pretty?” pon-dered senior Tayler Engstrom. Junior Emily Brekke gave her insight on the law, stating, “I think that this should be a

choice made by our parents, not the government.” Looks like pale is the new tan. Sorry, ladies.


***Check out our website www.waukeearrowhead.com to see all these articles in color along with new articles***


Fleming? Or Flemings?Claire Simmons

Mr. Brady Fleming: assistant principal extraordinaire, book worm, and restaurant entrepreneur? Waukee’s very own Brady Flem-ing reveals yet another trick to his trade.

Though he is known and loved throughout the district as an amazing ad-ministrator, Mr. Fleming has a secret passion: owning Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse in West Des Moines. “I’ve always loved education and advising students, but cooking and food are sec-ond in command,” Flem-ing revealed. “I decided to take a leap of faith and go for it, so far its been a dream come true.” With running such a suc-cessful restaurant, Fleming has kept silent for several years. “Running the restau-rant is just something I do on the side,” Fleming ex-

plained. “I didn’t want it to take away from my credibility and authority as an ad-ministrator.” Fleming thinks it’s better late than never to break his silence on his secret hobby. “Throughout my years at Waukee, I’ve had to come up with many odd excuses as to why I was wearing my school attire at the steakhouse after having run ins with students,” Fleming rec-onciled. “Also, I hope my students will provide me with more business in the Easter months.” With that being said, show Mr. Flem-ing some support by head-

ing over to Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse on Jordan Creek Parkway for the meal of your dreams and Mr.

Principal Lil JonsonAnna Rhodes

Through confetti, smoke, and crowds of young people, Waukee Principal Kirk Johnson was spotted over spring break at a rap battle hosted by Wooley’s on Saturday, March 14th.

With a 2.4% accuracy, Johnson rapped“Turn Down for What” by Lil Jon while throwing beaded necklaces into the crowd. Sporting dreadlocks, sunglasses, and different colored skin, Johnson told Wauk-ee Arrowhead reporters, “What can I say? I’m Lil Jon.” Flipping his dreads over his shoul-der, Johnson revealed, “Yeah, beng ‘Principal Johnson’ is a com-plete cover up. I needed a job that was secure and respectable.” When confronted about his appe-arance looking drastically different in the school setting, Johnson cleared thi-ngs up, “I put on fake teeth. That’s why they look so perfect. I also put on a wig and stuff, homie. And my skin? Makeup. Duh, son.” Whilst his metallic teeth glistened under the music venue’s dim lighting, Johnson screamed “WHAAAT OKAAAY” for the 47th time and would not com-ply with the Arrowhead’s question-naire. “Get outta your mind!” Johnson demanded.

“I was just a few feet from this man who obviously colored his face with brown makeup and was thrashing around the stage,” stated Johnson’s opponent, DJ Hizzy. “He ad-vanced towards me, and I fell off the stage. He had crazy eyes. I thought he’d gone mad, bro.” DJ Hizzy spoke to Arrowhead reporters from his stretcher, arms clad in casts. Waukee students will surely never look at their principal the same way again, especially now that he’s incarcerated and will serve as Wakee’s principal over Skype.

Assistant Principal Brady Fleming proudly poses in front of his prized restau-rant, Fleming’s.

Fleming might just person-ally deliver it to you himself.

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We all know about Ta-lia Buss, from either having her in class or competing against her at track meets. It is no question that she has an abundance of talent that makes her as speedy as she is. But is there something she is doing besides training that makes her as fast as she is? Some arrogant people might jump to the conclu-sion that she takes steroids or illegal substances to boost her speed, but what has been discovered is that her victori-ous diet consists not of illegal performance-enhancing drugs, but of couch cushions. “I don’t know when it started, but I found out that, the more couch cushions I ate, the faster I got, so it just had to be a part of my diet,” stated Buss, “and now I just can’t help myself; I even snack on pillows when I am really hungry.” Although most people think eggs and toast is the breakfast of champions, Buss is positive that the breakfast of champions will always be the cushions of a couch! “A scientist told me that the extra fiber in the cushions provides me with extra energy and power,” explained Buss. With several top-ten finishes at

state track in the past years, there is no denying that these couch cushions are provid-ing that extra boost a sprinter needs. Buss stated, “I usually eat about one or two cushions a day but, during the week-ends of Drake Relays and State, I eat a minimum of five cushions a day. My parents are struggling to buy so many couches; they aren’t cheap!” With track starting up again, it looks like the Buss household will be grocery shopping at Homemakers once again. Best of luck to this speedy couch muncher.

Above, the legend herself, Talia Buss, basks in the tastiness of Mr. Pe-terson’s couch. One can only imagine what monstrous thoughts are going through her mind.

To the left, Talia Buss ap-pears to be digging into one of her beloved delicacies. Warning for all: hide your couches unless you want to lose them to this couch-eating monster. Unfor-tunately, Mr. Peterson didn’t get this memo early enough.

Couch Her If You CanJack Scafuri

Farmland FootballAdam Hensley

Iowa: the land of corn and cattle. This will change on May 1st, 2015. Iowa recently reached an agreement with the NFL to be the new home of the St. Louis Rams. With questions surrounding a possible move to Los Angeles, the Rams’ fan base pushed for a closer home for their team. That home is Des Moines. Owner and Chairmen Stanley Kroen-ke commented on the news. “This is a new step forward in Rams history,” he said. “This move is close to home for the St. Louis fan base but also a key part in the NFL’s expan-sion. Iowa has deserved a pro sports team; now it has its chance.” Iowa’s governor, Terry Branstad, had high hopes for the project in its beginning and now feels confident mov-ing into the process of reloca-tion.

“It’s about time Iowa has a sports team,” he noted, “I’ve always been a huge football fan, and this move will benefit Iowa in many ways.” On May 1st, Kroenke and Branstad will hold a press con-ference officially moving the franchise to Iowa. However, not everyone is happy about the move. Rams’ running back, Tre Ma-son, expressed his discontent. “Why in the world would a team move to Iowa? There’s nothing to do there but look at corn. I’m debating whether or not to demand a trade,” he fumed. Linebacker James Lauri-naitis detailed his confusion. “Where is Iowa?” he laughed as he joked with reporters. “but seriously, how far away is it from St. Louis?” As of now, the team will practice and play at Wells Fargo Arena in the downtown Des Moines area. As soon as the season begins, construc-

tion for a new, NFL-worthy stadium will commence. “Our plan is to build an NFL- worthy stadium. We are leaning towards a dome, but an open stadium is not out of the picture,” Branstad added. Wells Fargo Arena current-ly holds just over 16,000 fans, which is far less than a normal NFL team is used to (the aver-age is around 70,000). Many wondered if the name of the team, as well as the color scheme, would re-main the same. The nickname “Rams” will stay, but the loca-tion will obviously change to the Iowa Rams. The uniforms will continue to look the same. The time has come. The NFL has arrived in Iowa, so come out and support the Iowa Rams.

Above, Terry Branstad announc-es that the NFL will move to Des Moines. “The Rams bring a swag-ger to Iowa that we’ve never had before,” he said (original photo from blogs.desmoinesregister.com).

To the right, James Laurinaitis talks about move to Des Moines. Laurinaitis seemed confused by the move (photo from stlouis-rams.com).

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***This is the April Fool’s issue. NONE of the articles writ-ten are factual in any way, shape,

or form.***

***This is the April Fool’s issue. NONE of the articles written are factual in any way, shape, or form.***Waukee Has A FED.

Dillon Waskow

In the previous months, there has been a rise in ar-rests with students involved with a range of crimes at Waukee High School. Whether it’s been taking down Wau-kee’s biggest drug dealers, or figuring out who’s behind the thefts occurring, the police have been very successful. Why is this the case? Starting a few years ago, the Waukee Police Depart-ment started a program allowing students to send tips or helpful information to the department about “sketchy” things going on around the high school, as well as the community of Waukee. While some ignored the outreach for help from the police, there were also some eager to do what they can to keep Waukee safe. Recently, a Waukee senior has taken full advantage of the opportunity to better his community. The Arrowhead does not know his identity at this time, but he is the mastermind leading the police to the success. Starting with smaller op-

erations, the student began to tape video footage of the PE locker rooms during class and no class hours. Watching the footage later that week, he was able to crack the case, despite what he did being completely illegal. The footage showed someone entering the locker room and taking things out of lockers when nobody was in there. After witnessing what he saw, the student anonymously went to the police and dropped off his findings. The first case for the new undercover agent was cracked in a matter of days. Later that week, the unkown senior heard of a rising drug dealer at the high school. Happily hopping on the case, he gave Waukee’s kingpin (who will remain anonymous) a call. The dealer picked up and asked who it was. The student alleg-edly replied with a fake alias and the dealer asked what he needed. He asked for a “G,” which is short for the measure-

Inside Waukee High

TWEETS OF THE MONTH

ment a “gram.” After being told the dealer’s address, he quickly called the department anonymously, telling them he has a set-up for them to bust. Overjoyed, the police told him how it was going to go down, and the plan went on to succeed, with an arrest of the drug dealer being made. Waukee’s new FED had just cracked his second case with-in the week. Since then, the student has led the police to multiple other criminals, many of which have ended up in arrests. His identity is still unknown, but he has happily written down names of those who have been involved in criminal activity at Waukee, a process known as “dropping names.” The Arrowhead got his phone number, and when asked about how he feels doing what he does he replied with a firm answer. “There’s really not a greater feeling than completely throwing some-one under the bus,” he con-tinued, “It makes me happy knowing I’m taking criminals off the streets of Waukee.”

Pictured left is the only picture we could find of Waukee’s newest detec-tive. Here he is taking a selfie while using sunglasses to hide his iden-tity.

“Writing for the Arrowhead is cruel and unusual punishment.”

“I have always known this class sucks. Then my son joined and I realized how much worse it could get.”

“The donut sales end up in Mr. P’s pocket.” “Waukee Arrowhead makes me

want an Arrowhead in my head.”

“So why does the Arrowhead newspaper even exist...?”

“This class makes me want jump off a bridge.”

“This is a lame excuse for a news-paper.”

This class is shwag.

april fool's day 2015

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