artful critique spring workshop by chip crane may 12, 2015
TRANSCRIPT
Artful Critique:Giving Friendly Feedback
That Really Helps
Chip Crane, Ph.D.May 12, 2015
Think like a a coach
Think like a coach Many people assume that they are poor writers and cannot improve.
Think long-term: how do I help the writer improve for next time?
Respond as a reader
Respond as a reader
I followed your explanation until the previous sentence, but I got lost in this shift to filling admin vacancies.
This specialized term is clearly important, but I’m unfamiliar with it, so I miss out on the significance of the next sentence.
Convince them you are on their side
Convince your writers you are on their side
In order for readers to really appreciate how important this partnership is, I recommend you emphasize it earlier in the paragraph.
Acknowledge what the writer is trying to do
Acknowledge what the writer is trying to do
Your explanation of the policy is clear, but announcing the main idea at the beginning will connect it better to the section above.
Use a friendly tone
Use a friendly tone
What’s the point? Too much detail.
These are valuable details, but it’s difficult to see how they are connected to the overall focus.
Acknowledge what the writer is trying to do
Don’t use passive voice.
Don’t use passive voice!
Acknowledge what the writer is trying to do
I see that your use of passive voice here puts effective emphasis on the project [being funded by headquarters]; however, readers will absorb the sentence better in the active voice, with “headquarters” as the subject funding the project.
Don’t “correct” the style…
“Recommend” and “suggest”
“Recommend” and “suggest”
Don’t start sentences with “there are.”
I recommend finding a strong action verb and moving your subject to the beginning of the sentence.
Explain style changes
Explain style changes
In addition to editing the text like this, provide development and analysis develop and analyze,
add a comment like this:Making these the main verbs will make your sentence more engaging and emphasize these important actions even more.
Explain grammar rules (the first time)
Explain grammar rules
This is a run-on sentence. You need to use a comma when joining two stand-alone sentences with a conjunction such as “and.”
Limit heavy editing to one or two paragraphs
Limit heavy editingFocus on one or two
paragraphs.
Encourage the writer to apply feedback everywhere else.
Empower your writers
(don’t mark everything you see wrong)
Empower your writers
Give them some autonomy by letting them make a few style choices of their own.
Don’t become the writer.
Think about long-term growth.
Thank you!If you have questions for the instructor or about the workshop, please contact:
Dr. Chip CraneCPoint Consulting [email protected]@gmail.com410-507-6938
To learn more about the Center for Plain Language, go to
www.centerforplainlanguage.org
Or contact:Rebecca [email protected]