Contents

TitlePage

Dedication

Map

Prologue

Chapter1

Chapter2

Chapter3

Chapter4

Chapter5

Chapter6

Chapter7

Chapter8

Chapter9

Chapter10

Chapter11

Chapter12

Chapter13

Chapter14

Chapter15

Chapter16

Chapter17

Chapter18

Chapter19

Chapter20

Chapter21

Chapter22

Chapter23

Chapter24

Chapter25

Chapter26

Chapter27

Chapter28

Chapter29

Chapter30

Chapter31

Chapter32

Chapter33

Chapter34

Chapter35

Chapter36

Chapter37

Chapter38

Chapter39

Chapter40

Chapter41

AbouttheAuthor

BantamBooksbyRobinHobb

PraiseforRobinHobb

PreviewofShipofMagic

CopyrightPage

FortheveryrealKatOgden

Whothreatened,atanearlyage,togrowupandbe

atapdancing,fencingjudoka,

moviestar,archaeologist,

andPresidentoftheUnited

States.

Andisgettingfrighteninglyclosetotheendofherlist.

Nevermistakethemovieforthebook.

Prologue

TheUnremembered

IAWAKE EVERYMORNINGwithinkonmyhands.SometimesIam sprawled, facedown, onmyworktable,amidstawelter

of scrolls and papers. Myboy, when he comes in withmy tray, may dare to chidemefornottakingmyselfofftobed the night before. Butsometimeshelooksatmyfaceand ventures no word. I donottrytoexplaintohimwhyIdo as I do. It is not a secretone can give to a youngerman; it is one he must earnandlearnonhisown.

A man has to have apurpose in life. I know thisnow, but it took me the firstscoreyearsofmylifetolearnit. In that I scarcely thinkmyself unique. Still, it is alessonthat,oncelearned,hasremained with me. So, withlittlebesidespainwithwhichtooccupymyselfthesedays,Ihavesoughtoutapurposeformyself.Ihaveturnedtoataskthat both Lady Patience and

ScribeFedwrenhadlongagoadvocated. I began thesepages as an effort to writedown a coherent history oftheSixDuchies.ButIfounditdifficulttokeepmymindlongfixedonasingletopic,andsoI distract myself with lessertreatises, on my theories ofmagic,onmyobservationsofpolitical structures, and myreflections on other cultures.When the discomfort is at its

worst and I cannot sort myown thoughts well enough towrite them down, I work ontranslations, or attempt tomake a legible recording ofolder documents. I busy myhands in the hope ofdistractingmymind.

My writing serves me asVeritys mapmaking onceserved him. The detail of thework and the concentration

required is almost enough tomake one forget both thelongingsoftheaddiction,andthe residual pains of havingonce indulged it. One canbecome lost in such work,and forget oneself. Or onecangoevendeeper,and findmany recollections of thatself. All too often, I find Ihave wandered far from ahistory of the duchies into ahistoryofFitzChivalry.Those

recollections leave me face-to-facewithwho I oncewas,andwhoIhavebecome.

When one is deeplyabsorbed in such arecounting, it is surprisinghow much detail one canrecall.NotallthememoriesIsummon up are painful. Ihave had more than a justshare of good friends, andfoundthemmoreloyal thanI

had any right to expect. Ihaveknownbeautiesandjoysthattriedmyheartsstrengthassurelyasthetragediesanduglinesses have. Yet Ipossess, perhaps, a greatershare of darkmemories thanmost men; few men haveknowndeathinadungeon,orcan recall the inside of acoffin buried beneath thesnow. The mind shies awayfrom the details of such

things.Itisonethingtorecallthat Regal killed me. It isanother to focus on thedetailsofthedaysandnightsenduredashestarvedmeandthenhadmebeaten todeath.WhenIdo,therearemomentsthat still can turnmy bowelsto ice, even after all theseyears.Icanrecalltheeyesofthemanand thesoundofhisfist breaking my nose. Therestill exists for me a place I

visit in my dreams, where Ifight to remain standing,trying not to let myself thinkof how I will make a finaleffort to kill Regal. I recallthe blow from him that splitmy swollen skin and left thescardownmyfacethatIstillbear.

I have never forgivenmyself thetriumphIcededtohim when I took poison and

died.

But more painful than theevents I can recall are thosethat are lost to me. WhenRegalkilledme,Idied.Iwasneveragaincommonlyknownas FitzChivalry, I neverrenewed bonds to theBuckkeep folk who hadknownmesinceIwasachildof six. I never lived inBuckkeepCastleagain,never

more waited on the LadyPatience, never sat on thehearthstones at Chades feetagain. Lost to me were therhythms of lives that hadintertwined with mine.Friends died, others werewed, babes were born,children came of age, and Isaw none of it. Though I nolonger possess the body of ahealthyyoungman,manystilllive who once called me

friend.Sometimes,still,Ilongtoresteyesonthem,totouchhands, to lay to peace thelonelinessofyears.

Icannot.

Thoseyearsarelosttome,andalltheyearsoftheirlivesto come. Lost, too, is thatperiod, no longer than amonth, but seeming muchlonger, when I was confined

to dungeon and then coffin.Mykinghaddiedinmyarms,yet I did not see him buried.Nor was I present at thecouncilaftermydeathwhenIwas found guilty of havingused the Wit magic, andhence deserving of the deaththathadbeendealtme.

Patiencecametolayclaimtomybody.Myfatherswife,oncesodistressedtodiscover

hehadsiredabastardbeforethey were wed, was the onewho took me from that cell.Hers the hands that washedmy body for burial, thatstraightened my limbs andwrappedmeinagravecloth.Awkward, eccentric LadyPatience, for whateverreason, cleansed my woundsand bound them as carefullyas if I still lived. She aloneordered the digging of my

graveandsawtotheburyingof my coffin. She and Lacey,her woman, mourned me,whenallothers,outoffearordisgust at my crime,abandonedme.

Yet she knew nothing ofhow Burrich and Chade, myassassinmentor, camenightslater to that grave, and dugawaythesnowthathadfallenand the frozen clumps of

earth that had been tosseddown on my coffin. Onlythose two were present asBurrichbrokethroughthelidof the coffin and tugged outmy body, and thensummoned, by his own Witmagic,thewolfthathadbeenentrustedwithmy soul. Theywrested that soul from thewolf and sealed it back intothebatteredbody ithad fled.Theyraisedme,towalkonce

more in a mans shape, torecall what it was to have aking and be bound by anoath. To this day, I do notknowifIthankthemforthat.Perhaps, as the Fool insists,they had no choice. Perhapsthere can be no thanks norany blame, but onlyrecognitionof the forces thatbrought us and bound us toourinevitablefates.

1

Gravebirth

INTHECHALCEDStates,slavesare kept. They supply thedrudge labor. They are theminers, the bellows workers,

the galley rowers, the crewsfor the offal wagons, thefield-workers, and thewhores. Oddly, slaves arealso the nursemaids andchildrens tutors and cooksand scribers and skilledcraftsfolk. All of Chalcedsgleaming civilization, fromthe great libraries of Jep tothe fabled fountains andbaths at Sinjons, is foundedon the existence of a slave

class.

The Bingtown Traders arethemajorsourceof theslavesupply. At one time, mostslaveswerecaptives taken inwar, and Chalced stillofficially claims this is true.In more recent years therehavenotbeensufficientwarsto keep up with the demandfor educated slaves. TheBingtown Traders are very

resourceful in finding othersources, and the rampantpiracyintheTradeIslandsisoften mentioned inassociation with this. Thosewho are slave owners inChalced show little curiosityabout where the slaves comefrom, so long as they arehealthy.

Slavery is a custom thathas never taken root in the

SixDuchies.Amanconvictedofacrimemayberequiredtoserve theonehehas injured,but a limit of time is alwaysplaced, and he is never seenas less than a man makingatonement. If a crime is tooheinous to be redeemed bylabor, then the criminal payswith his death. No one everbecomes a slave in the SixDuchies, nor do our lawssupport the idea that a

household may bring slavesinto the kingdom and havethem remain so. For thisreason,manyChalced slaveswho do win free of theirowners by one path oranother often seek the SixDuchiesasanewhome.

These slaves bring withthem the far-flung traditionsand folklore of their ownlands. One such tale I have

preserved has to do with agirl who was Vecci, or whatwe would call Witted. Shewished to leave her parentshome, to follow a man sheloved and be his wife. Herparents did not find himworthy and denied herpermission.When theywouldnot let her go, she was toodutiful a child to disobeythem. But she was also tooardent a woman to live

withouthertruelove.Shelaydownonherbedanddiedofsorrow. Her parents buriedherwithgreatmourningandmuch self-reproach that theyhadnotallowedhertofollowherheart.Butunbeknownsttothem, shewasWit-bonded toashe-bear.Andwhenthegirldied, the she-bear took herspirit into her keeping, so itmight not flee the world.Threenightsafterthegirlhad

beenburied,theshe-beardugupthegrave,andrestoredthegirls spirit to her body. Thegirls gravebirth made her anewperson,no longerowingduty to her parents. So sheleft the shattered coffin andwent seeking her one truelove. The tale has a sadending, for having been ashe-bear for a time, she wasnever wholly human again,and her true love would not

haveher.

Thisscrapofatalewasthebasis for Burrichs decisionto try to freeme fromPrinceRegals dungeon bypoisoningme.

The room was too hot. Andtoo small. Panting no longer

cooledme. Igotup from thetable and went to the waterbarrelinthecorner.Itookthecoveroffitanddrankdeeply.Heart of the Pack looked upwith an almost-snarl. Use acup,Fitz.

Water ran frommychin. Ilooked up at him steadily,watchinghim.

Wipeyourface.Heartof

the Pack looked away fromme, back to his own hands.He had grease on them andwas rubbing it into somestraps. I snuffed it. I lickedmylips.

Iamhungry,Itoldhim.

Sit down and finish yourwork.Thenwewilleat.

I tried to remember what

hewanted ofme. HemovedhishandtowardthetableandIrecalled.Moreleatherstrapsatmyendofthetable.Iwentbackandsatinthehardchair.

I am hungry now, Iexplained to him. He lookedat me again in the way thatdid not show his teeth butwasstillasnarl.Heartof thePack could snarl with hiseyes. I sighed.Thegreasehe

wasusingsmelledverygood.I swallowed. Then I lookeddown.Leatherstrapsandbitsof metal were on the tablebefore me. I looked at themfor a while. After a time,Heart of the Pack set downhis straps and wiped hishandsonacloth.Hecametostandbesideme,andIhadtoturn to be able to see him.Here,he said, touching theleatherbeforeme.Youwere

mending it here. He stoodover me until I picked it upagain.Ibenttosniffitandhestruck my shoulder. Dontdothat!

My lip twitched, but I didnot snarl. Snarling at himmade him very, very angry.For a time I held the straps.Then it seemed as if myhandsrememberedbeforemymind did. I watched my

fingers work the leather.Whenitwasdone,Ihelditupbefore him and tugged it,hard, to show that it wouldhold even if the horse threwitsheadback.Butthereisnta horse, I remembered outloud. All the horses aregone.

Brother?

I come. I rose from my

chair.Iwenttothedoor.

Comebackandsitdown,HeartofthePacksaid.

Nighteyeswaits,Itoldhim.Then I remembered he couldnot hear me. I thought hecould ifhewould try,buthewouldnottry.IknewthatifIspoke tohim thatwayagain,hewouldpushme.HewouldnotletmespeaktoNighteyes

that way much. He wouldeven push Nighteyes if thewolfspoketoomuchtome.Itseemed a very strange thing.Nighteyeswaits,I toldhimwithmymouth.

Iknow.

It is a good time to hunt,now.

It is abetter time foryou

to stay in. I have food hereforyou.

Nighteyes and I couldfind fresh meat. My mouthran at the thought of it. Arabbit torn open, stillsteaming in thewinter night.ThatwaswhatIwanted.

Nighteyes will have tohunt alone this night, HeartofthePacktoldme.Hewent

tothewindowandopenedtheshutters a little. The chill airrushed in. I could smellNighteyes and, farther away,asnowcat.Nighteyeswhined.Goaway,HeartofthePacktold him. Go on, now, gohunt, go feed yourself. Ivenotenoughtofeedyouhere.

Nighteyeswentawayfromthelight thatspilledfromthewindow. But he did not go

too far. He was waiting outthere for me, but I knew hecouldnotwaitlong.Likeme,hewashungrynow.

Heart of the Pack went tothe fire that made the roomtoohot.Therewasapotbyit,and he poked it away fromthe fire and took the lid off.Steam came out, and with itsmells.Grainandroots,andatinybitofmeatsmell,almost

boiled away. But I was sohungry I snuffed after it. Istartedtowhine,butHeartofthe Pack made the eye-snarlagain. So I went back to thehardchair.Isat.Iwaited.

He took a very long time.He took all the leather fromthetableandputitonahook.Thenheputthepotofgreaseaway. Then he brought thehot pot to the table. Then he

set out two bowls and twocups. He put water in thecups. He set out a knife andtwo spoons. From thecupboard he brought breadand a small pot of jam. Heput the stew in the bowlbeforeme,butIknewIcouldnot touch it. I had to sit andnot eat the foodwhilehecutthe bread and gave me apiece.Icouldholdthebread,but Icouldnoteat ituntilhe

sat down too, with his plateandhisstewandhisbread.

Pick up your spoon, heremindedme.Thenheslowlysat down in his chair rightbesideme. Iwas holding thespoon and the bread andwaiting, waiting, waiting. Ididnt take my eyes off himbut I could not keep mymouth frommoving. Itmadehim angry. I shut my mouth

again. Finally he said, Wewilleatnow.

But the waiting still hadnot stopped. One bite I wasallowed to take. It must bechewedandswallowedbeforeItookmore,orhewouldcuffme.Icouldtakeonlyasmuchstew as would fit on thespoon. I picked up the cupanddrank from it.Hesmiledat me. Good, Fitz. Good

boy.

I smiled back, but then Itook too large a bite of thebreadandhefrownedatme.Itried to chew it slowly, but Iwas so hungry now, and thefoodwas here, and I did notunderstandwhyhewouldnotjustletmeeatitnow.It tooka long time to eat. He hadmade the stew too hot onpurpose,sothatIwouldburn

mymouth if I took toobigabite.Ithoughtaboutthatforabit. Then I said, You madethe food too hot on purpose.SoIwillbeburnedifIeattoofast.

His smile came moreslowly.Henoddedatme.

Istillfinishedeatingbeforehe did. I had to sit on thechair until he had finished

eating,too.

Well,Fitz,hesaidatlast.Not too bad a day today.Hey,boy?

Ilookedathim.

Say something back tome,hetoldme.

What?Iasked.

Anything.

Anything.

He frowned at me and Iwantedtosnarl,becauseIhaddonewhathetoldme.Afteratime, he got up and got abottle. He poured somethinginto his cup. He held thebottle out to me. Do youwantsome?

Ipulledbackfromit.Eventhe smell of it stung in my

nostrils.

Answer, he remindedme.

No.No,itsbadwater.

No. Its bad brandy.Blackberry brandy, verycheap. I used to hate it, youusedtolikeit.

I snorted out the smell.Wehaveneverlikedit.

He set the bottle and thecupdownonthetable.Hegotup and went to the window.He opened it again. Gohunting, I said! I feltNighteyes jumpand then runaway. Nighteyes is as afraidofHeartof thePackasIam.Once I attackedHeart of thePack. I had been sick for along time, but then I wasbetter. I wished to go out tohuntandhewouldnotletme.

HestoodbeforethedoorandI sprang on him. He hit mewithhisfist,andthenheldmedown.HeisnotbiggerthanI.But he is meaner, and moreclever.Heknowsmanywaysto hold and most of themhurt.Heheldmeonthefloor,on my back, with my throatbared and waiting for histeeth, for a long, long time.Every time I moved, hecuffed me. Nighteyes had

snarledoutsidethehouse,butnot very close to the door,andhehadnot tried to comein.WhenIwhinedformercy,he struck me again. Bequiet! he said. When I wasquiet, he told me, You areyounger. I am older and Iknowmore.Ifightbetterthanyoudo,Ihuntbetterthanyoudo. I am always above you.YouwilldoeverythingIwantyou to do. You will do

everything I tell you to do.Doyouunderstandthat?

Yes, I had told him. Yes,yes, that is pack, Iunderstand,Iunderstand.Buthe had only struck me againand held me there, throatwide,untilItoldhimwithmymouth,Yes,Iunderstand.

When Heart of the Packcamebacktothetable,heput

brandyinmycup.Hesetitinfront of me, where I wouldhavetosmellit.Isnorted.

Tryit,heurgedme.Justa little. You used to like it.Youusedtodrinkit in town,when you were younger andnot supposed to go intotavernswithoutme.Andthenyou would chew mint, andthinkIwouldnotknowwhatyouhaddone.

Ishookmyheadathim.Iwould not do what you toldmenottodo.Iunderstood.

Hemade his sound that islike choking and sneezing.Oh, you used to very oftendowhatIhadtoldyounottodo.Veryoften.

I shookmy head again. Idonotrememberit.

Notyet.Butyouwill.Hepointed at the brandy again.Go on. Taste it. Just a littlebit.Itmightdoyougood.

And because he had toldmeImust,Itastedit.Itstungmy mouth and nose, and Icould not snort the tasteaway. I spilledwhatwas leftinthecup.

Well. Wouldnt Patience

be pleased was all he said.And then he made me get acloth and clean what I hadspilled.And clean the dishesin water and wipe them dry,too.

SometimesIwouldshakeandfall down. There was no

reason. Heart of the Packwould try to hold me still.Sometimes the shakingmademe fall asleep. When Iawakened later, I ached. Mychest hurt, my back hurt.SometimesIbitmytongue.Ididnotlikethosetimes.TheyfrightenedNighteyes.

And sometimes there wasanother with Nighteyes andme,anotherwhothoughtwith

us.Hewasverysmall,buthewasthere.Ididnotwanthimthere. I did not want anyonethere, ever again, exceptNighteyes and me. He knewthat, and made himself sosmallthatmostofthetimehewasnotthere.

Later,amancame.

Aman is coming, I toldHeartofthePack.Itwasdarkandthefirewasburninglow.The good hunting time waspast.Fulldarkwashere.Soonhewouldmakeussleep.

Hedid not answerme.Hegot up quickly and quietlyandtookupthebigknifethatwas always on the table. He

pointed at me to go to thecorner, out of his way. Hewent softly to the door andwaited. Outside, I heard theman stepping through thesnow.ThenIsmelledhim.Itis the gray one, I told him.Chade.

He opened the door veryquickly then, and the grayone came in. I sneezed withthescentshebroughtonhim.

Powders of dry leaves arewhat he always smelled like,and smokes of differentkinds. He was thin and old,butHeartof thePackalwaysbehaved as if he were packhigher.Heartof thePackputmore wood on the fire. Theroomgotbrighter,andhotter.Thegrayonepushedbackhishood.He looked atme for atime with his light-coloredeyes, as if he were waiting.

ThenhespoketoHeartofthePack.

Howishe?Anybetter?

Heart of the Pack movedhis shoulders. When hesmelled you, he said yourname.Hasnthadaseizureina week. Three days ago, hemended a bit of harness forme.Anddidagoodjob,too.

Hedoesnttrytochewontheleatheranymore?

No. At least, not whileIm watching him. Besides,itsworkheknowsverywell.It may touch something inhim.Heartof thePackgavea short laugh. If nothingelse, mended harness is athingthatcanbesold.

The gray one went and

stoodbythefireandheldhishands out to it. There werespots on his hands. Heart ofthe Pack got out his brandybottle. They had brandy incups.Hemademeholdacupwith a little brandy in thebottom of it, but he did notmakemetasteit.Theytalkedlong, long, long, of thingsthat had nothing to do witheatingorsleepingorhunting.The gray one had heard

somethingaboutawoman. Itmight be crucial, a rallyingpointfortheduchies.Heartofthe Pack said, I wont talkabout it in front of Fitz. Ipromised. The gray oneasked him if he thought Iunderstood, and Heart of thePack said that that didntmatter, he had given hisword.Iwantedtogotosleep,buttheymademesitstillinachair.When the old one had

to leave, Heart of the Packsaid,Itisverydangerousforyou to come here. So far awalk for you. Will you beabletogetbackin?

The gray one just smiled.I have my ways, Burrich,he said. I smiled too,remembering that he hadalways been proud of hissecrets.

One day, Heart of the Packwent out and left me alone.He did not tie me. He justsaid, There are some oatshere.IfyouwanttoeatwhileIm gone, youll have torememberhowtocookthem.If you go out of the door orthewindow,ifyouevenopenthedoororthewindow,Iwill

know it.And Iwill beat youto death. Do you understandthat?

I do, I said. He seemedveryangryatme,butIcouldnotrememberdoinganythinghehad toldmenot todo.Heopenedaboxandtookthingsfrom it. Most were roundmetal. Coins. One thing Iremembered.Itwasshinyandcurved like amoon, and had

smelledofbloodwhenI firstgot it. I had fought anotherfor it. I could not rememberthatIhadwantedit,butIhadfought and won it. I did notwantitnow.Heheldituponitschaintolookatit,thenputit in a pouch. I did not carethathetookitaway.

I was very, very hungrybefore he came back. Whenhe did there was a smell on

him. A females smell. Notstrong, and mixed with thesmells of a meadow. But itwas a good smell that mademe want something,something that was not foodor water or hunting. I cameclose to him to smell it, buthe did not notice that. Hecooked the porridge and weate. Then he just sat beforethe fire, looking very, verysad. I got up and got the

brandy bottle. I brought it tohimwithacup.Hetookthemfrommebuthedidnotsmile.Maybe tomorrow I shallteach you to fetch, he toldme.Maybethatssomethingyou could master. Then hedrankall thebrandy thatwasin the bottle, and openedanotherbottleafter that. I satand watched him. After hefellasleep,Itookhiscoatthathadthesmellonit.Iputiton

the floor and lay on it,smellingituntilIfellasleep.

I dreamed, but it made nosense. There had been afemale who smelled likeBurrichs coat, and I had notwantedhertogo.Shewasmyfemale, but when she left, Ididnotfollow.ThatwasallIcould remember.Remembering it was notgood, in the same way that

being hungry or thirsty wasnotgood.

He was making me stay in.Hehadmademestayinforalong, long time, when all Iwantedtodowasgoout.Butthat time itwas raining,veryhard, so hard the snow was

almostallmelted.Suddenlyitseemed good not to go out.Burrich, I said, and helooked up very suddenly atme.Ithoughthewasgoingtoattack,hemovedsoquickly.Itried not to cower.Coweringmadehimangrysometimes.

What is it, Fitz? heasked, and his voice waskind.

I am hungry, I said.Now.

Hegavemeabigpieceofmeat. It was cooked, but itwas a big piece. I ate it toofast and he watched me, buthe did not tell me not to, orcuffme.Thattime.

I kept scratching atmy face.Atmy beard. Finally, IwentandstoodinfrontofBurrich.I scratched at it in front ofhim.Idontlikethis,Itoldhim.Helookedsurprised.Buthe gave me very hot waterand soap, and a very sharpknife. He gave me a roundglass with a man in it. Ilookedatitforalongtime.Itmade me shiver. His eyeswere like Burrichs, with

white around them, but evendarker. Not wolf eyes. Hiscoatwas dark likeBurrichs,but the hair on his jawswasuneven and rough. I touchedmybeard,andsawfingersonthe mans face. It wasstrange.

Shave, but be careful,Burrichtoldme.

I could almost remember

how. The smell of the soap,thehotwateronmyface.Butthe sharp, sharp blade keptcutting me. Little cuts thatstung. I lookedat theman inthe round glass afterward.Fitz, I thought. Almost likeFitz. I was bleeding. Imbleeding everywhere, I toldBurrich.

He laughed at me. Youalwaysbleedafteryoushave.

You always try to hurry toomuch. He took the sharp,sharpblade.Sitstill,hetoldme. Youve missed somespots.

I sat very still and he didnotcutme. Itwashard tobestillwhenhecamesoneartome and looked at me soclosely. When he was done,he tookmychin inhishand.He tipped my face up and

looked at me. He looked atme hard. Fitz? he said.Heturnedhisheadandsmiledatme, but then the smile fadedwhenIjustlookedathim.Hegavemeabrush.

There is no horse tobrush,Itoldhim.

He looked almost pleased.Brushthis,hetoldme,androughedupmyhair.Hemade

mebrush it until itwould lieflat. There were sore placesonmyhead.Burrichfrownedwhen he saw me wince. Hetook the brush away andmademe stand stillwhile helooked and touched beneathmy hair. Bastard! he saidharshly,andwhenIcowered,hesaid,Notyou.Heshookhisheadslowly.Hepattedmeon the shoulder. The painwill go away with time, he

toldme.He showedmehowtopullmyhairbackandtieitwith leather. Itwas just longenough. Thats better, hesaid. You look like a managain.

I woke up from a dream,twitching and yelping. I sat

up and started to cry. Hecame to me from his bed.Whats wrong, Fitz? Areyouallright?

He took me from mymother!Isaid.Hetookmeaway from her. I was muchtoo young to be gone fromher.

Iknow,hesaid,Iknow.But it was a long time ago.

Youre here now, and safe.Helookedalmostfrightened.

He smoked the den, Itold him. He made mymother and brothers intohides.

His face changed and hisvoice was no longer kind.No,Fitz.Thatwasnotyourmother. That was a wolfsdream. Nighteyes. It might

have happened to Nighteyes.Butnotyou.

Oh, yes, it did, I toldhim, and I was suddenlyangry. Oh,yes it did, and itfelt just the same. Just thesame.Igotupfrommybedandwalkedaround theroom.Iwalkedforaverylongtime,until Icouldstopfeeling thatfeeling again. He sat andwatchedme.Hedrankalotof

brandywhileIwalked.

One day in spring I stoodlooking out of the window.The world smelled good,aliveandnew.Istretchedandrolled my shoulders. I heardmybonescrackletogether.Itwould be a goodmorning to

gooutriding,Isaid.Iturnedto look at Burrich. He wasstirring porridge in a kettleover the fire. He came andstoodbesideme.

Its still winter up in theMountains,hesaidsoftly.Iwonder if Kettricken gothomesafely.

If she didnt, it wasntSootys fault, I said. Then

something turned over andhurt inside me, so that for amoment I couldnt catch mybreath.Itriedtothinkofwhatit was, but it ran away fromme.Ididntwant tocatchupwith it, but I knew it was athing I should hunt. Itwouldbe likehuntingabear.WhenI got up close to it, it wouldturnonmeandtrytohurtme.But something about itmademewant to followanyway. I

took a deep breath andshuddered it out. I drew inanother, with a sound thatcaughtinmythroat.

Beside me, Burrich wasvery still and silent.Waitingforme.

Brother, you are a wolf.Comeback, comeaway fromthat, it will hurt you,Nighteyeswarnedme.

Ileapedbackfromit.

Then Burrich wentstamping about the room,cursingthings,andlettingtheporridgeburn.Wehad to eatit anyway, therewas nothingelse.

For a time, Burrich bothered

me. Do you remember? hewas always saying. Hewouldnt leaveme alone.Hewould tell me names, andmakemetry tosaywhotheywere. Sometimes I wouldknow, a little. Awoman, Itold him when he saidPatience. A woman in aroomwithplants.Ihadtried,buthestillgotangrywithme.

If I slept at night, I had

dreams. Dreams of atrembling light, a dancinglight on a stone wall. Andeyes at a smallwindow.Thedreamswouldholdmedownand keepme frombreathing.If I could get enough breathto scream, I could wake up.Sometimesittookalongtimetogetenoughbreath.Burrichwouldwakeup,too,andgrabthe big knife off the table.What is it, what is it? he

wouldaskme.ButIcouldnottellhim.

Itwassafer to sleep in thedaylight, outside, smellinggrass and earth. The dreamsof stone walls did not comethen.Instead,awomancame,to press herself sweetlyagainstme.Herscentwasthesameasthemeadowflowers,and her mouth tasted ofhoney. The pain of those

dreams came when I awoke,and knew she was goneforever, taken by another.Atnight I sat and looked at thefire. I tried not to think ofcold stonewalls, nor of darkeyes weeping and a sweetmouthgoneheavywithbitterwords.Ididnotsleep.Idarednot even lie down. Burrichdidnotmakeme.

Chade came back one day.Hehadgrownhisbeard longandheworeawide-brimmedhatlikeapeddler,butIknewhim all the same. Burrichwasnt at home when hearrived,butIlethimin.Ididnot knowwhy he had come.Doyouwantsomebrandy?Iasked,thinkingperhapsthatwas why he had come. Helooked closely at me andalmostsmiled.

Fitz? he said. He turnedhisheadsidewaystolookintomyface.So.Howhaveyoubeen?

Ididntknowtheanswertothatquestion,soIjustlookedat him. After a time, he putthe kettle on.He took thingsout of his pack. He hadbrought spice tea, somecheese and smoked fish. Hetook out packets of herbs as

wellandsetthemoutinarowonthetable.Thenhetookoutaleatherpouch.Insideitwasa fat yellow crystal, largeenoughtofillhishand.Inthebottom of the pack was alarge shallow bowl, glazedblue inside. He had set it onthe table and filled it withclean water when Burrichreturned. Burrich had gonefishing.He had a stringwithsix small fish on it. They

were creek fish, not oceanfish. Theywere slippery andshiny. He had already takenallthegutsout.

You leave him alonenow? Chade asked Burrichafter they had greeted oneanother.

Ihaveto,togetfood.

Soyoutrusthimnow?

Burrich looked aside fromChade. Ive trained a lot ofanimals. Teaching one to dowhat you tell it is not thesameastrustingaman.

Burrich cooked the fish ina pan and then we ate. Wehad the cheese and the teaalso. Then, while I wascleaning thepansanddishes,theysatdowntotalk.

I want to try the herbs,Chade said to Burrich. Orthe water, or the crystal.Something.Anything.Ibeginto think that hes not really...inthere.

He is, Burrich assertedquietly. Give him time. Idont think the herbs are agood idea forhim.Beforehe. . . changed, hewas gettingtoofondofherbs.Towardthe

end,hewasalwayseither ill,or charged full of energy. Ifhe was not in the depths ofsorrow, he was exhaustedfrom fighting or from beingKings Man to Verity orShrewd. Then hed be intotheelfbark insteadof resting.Hed forgotten how to justrestand lethisbody recover.Hed never wait for it. Thatlast night . . . you gave himcarris seed, didnt you?

Foxglove said shed neverseen anything like it. I thinkmorefolkmighthavecometohisaid,iftheyhadntbeensofrightened of him. Poor oldBlade thought he had gonestark raving mad. He neverforgave himself for takinghim down. I wish he couldknowtheboyhadntactuallydied.

Therewasnotimetopick

andchoose.IgavehimwhatIhad to hand. I didnt knowhedgomadoncarrisseed.

You could have refusedhim,Burrichsaidquietly.

It wouldnt have stoppedhim. Hed have gone as hewas, exhausted, and beenkilledrightthere.

Iwentandsatdownonthe

hearth. Burrich was notwatching me. I lay down,then rolled over on my backand stretched. It felt good. Iclosed my eyes and felt thewarmth of the fire on myflank.

Get up and sit on thestool,Fitz,Burrichsaid.

I sighed, but I obeyed.Chade did not look at me.

Burrichresumedtalking.

Idliketokeephimonaneven keel. I think he justneeds time, to do it on hisown. He remembers.Sometimes. And then hefights it off. I dont think hewants to remember,Chade. Idontthinkhereallywantstogo back to beingFitzChivalry.Maybehe likedbeingawolf.Maybeheliked

itsomuchhesnevercomingback.

He has to come back,Chadesaidquietly.Weneedhim.

Burrich sat up. Hed hadhis feet up on the woodpile,but now he set them on thefloor. He leaned towardChade.Youvehadword?

Not I.ButPatiencehas, Ithink. Its very frustrating,sometimes, to be the ratbehindthewall.

Sowhatdidyouhear?

OnlyPatienceandLacey,talkingaboutwool.

Whyisthatimportant?

They wanted wool toweaveaverysoftcloth.Fora

baby,orasmallchild.Itwillbe born at the end of ourharvest, but thats thebeginning of winter in theMountains. So let usmake itthick,Patience said.PerhapsforKettrickenschild.

Burrich looked startled.Patience knows aboutKettricken?

Chade laughed. I dont

know.Who knowswhat thatwoman knows? She haschanged much of late. Shegathers the Buckkeep Guardintothepalmofherhand,andLordBrightdoesnotevenseeithappening.Ithinknowthatwe shouldhave let herknowour plan, included her fromthe beginning. But perhapsnot.

Itmight have been easier

for me if we had. Burrichstareddeepintothefire.

Chade shook his head. Iam sorry. She had to believeyou had abandoned Fitz,rejectedhimforhisuseoftheWit.Ifyouhadgoneafterhisbody,Regalmighthavebeensuspicious. We had to makeRegal believe she was theonlyonewhocaredenoughtoburyhim.

She hates me now. Shetoldme Ihadno loyalty,norcourage. Burrich looked athis hands and his voicetightened. I knew she hadstopped lovingmeyearsago.When she gave her heart toChivalry. I couldaccept that.Hewasamanworthyofher.AndIhadwalkedawayfromherfirst.SoIcouldlivewithher not lovingme, because Ifeltshestillrespectedmeasa

man. But now, she despisesme.I...Heshookhishead,then closed his eyes tightly.For a moment all was still.Then Burrich straightenedhimself slowly and turned toChade.Hisvoicewascalmashe asked, So, you thinkPatience knows thatKettricken fled to theMountains?

It wouldnt surprise me.

There has been no officialword, of course. Regal hassentmessages toKingEyod,demanding to know ifKettricken fled there, butEyod replied only that shewas the Six Duchies Queenand what she did was not aMountainconcern.Regalwasangeredenoughbythattocutoff trade to the Mountains.But Patience seems to knowmuchofwhatgoesonoutside

the keep. Perhaps she knowswhat is happening in theMountain Kingdom. For mypart, I should dearly love toknowhowsheintendstosendtheblanket to theMountains.Itsalongandwearyway.

For a long time, Burrichwas silent. Then he said, Ishould have found a way togo with Kettricken and theFool.Buttherewereonlythe

twohorses,andonlysuppliesenoughfortwo.Ihadntbeenable to get more than that.Andso theywentalone.Heglared into the fire, thenasked, I dont supposeanyonehasheardanythingofKing-in-WaitingVerity?

Chade shook his headslowly. King Verity, hereminded Burrich softly. Ifhewerehere.He looked far

away. If he were comingback, I thinkhedbeherebynow,hesaidquietly.Afewmore soft days like this, andthere will be Red ShipRaiders in every bay. I nolonger believe Verity iscomingback.

ThenRegaltrulyisKing,Burrichsaidsourly.At leastuntil Kettrickens child isborn and comes of age. And

thenwecanlookforwardtoacivil war if the child tries toclaim the crown. If there isstill a SixDuchies left to beruled.Verity.Iwishnowthathe had not gone questing fortheElderlings.At leastwhilehe was alive, we had someprotection from the Raiders.Now, with Verity gone andspring getting stronger,nothing stands between usandtheRedShips....

Verity. I shiveredwith thecold.Ipushedthecoldaway.It came back and I pushed itallaway.Ihelditaway.Aftera moment, I took a deepbreath.

Just the water, then?Chade asked Burrich, and Iknew they had been talkingbutIhadnotbeenhearing.

Burrich shrugged. Go

ahead.What can it hurt?Didhe use to scry things inwater?

Inevertriedhim.Ialwayssuspectedhecouldifhetried.HehastheWitandtheSkill.Why shouldnt he be able toscryaswell?

Justbecauseamancandoa thing does not mean heshoulddoathing.

For a time, they looked atone another. Then Chadeshrugged. Perhaps my tradedoes not allow me so manyniceties of conscience asyours,hesuggestedinastiffvoice.

After a moment, Burrichsaid gruffly, Your pardon,sir.Weallservedourkingasourabilitiesdictated.

Chadenoddedtothat.Thenhesmiled.

Chade cleared the table ofeverything but the dish ofwater and some candles.Come here, he said to mesoftly, so I went back to thetable. He satme in his chairand put the dish in front ofme. Look in the water, hetold me. Tell me what yousee.

Isawthewaterinthebowl.I saw the blue in the bottomof the bowl. Neither answermade him happy. He kepttellingmetolookagainbutIkept seeing the same things.Hemoved the candle severaltimes,eachtimetellingmetolookagain.FinallyhesaidtoBurrich, Well, at least heanswers when you speak tohimnow.

Burrich nodded, but helooked discouraged. Yes.Perhapswithtime,hesaid.

I knew they were finishedwithmethen,andIrelaxed.

Chade asked if he couldstay the night with us.Burrich said of course. Thenhe went and fetched thebrandy.Hepoured two cups.Chade drew my stool to the

table and sat again. I sat andwaited,buttheybegantalkingtooneanotheragain.

What aboutme? I askedatlast.

They stopped talking andlooked at me. What aboutyou?Burrichasked.

DontIgetanybrandy?

Theylookedatme.Burrich

asked carefully, Do youwantsome?Ididntthinkyoulikedit.

No,Idontlikeit.Ineverliked it. I thought for amoment.Butitwascheap.

Burrich stared at me.Chade smiled a small smile,looking down at his hands.ThenBurrichgotanothercupandpouredsomeforme.For

a time they satwatchingme,but I didnt do anything.Eventuallytheybegantalkingagain. I took a sip of thebrandy. It still stung mymouthandnose,butitmadeawarmth inside me. I knew Ididntwantanymore.ThenIthought I did. I drank somemore. It was just asunpleasant. Like somethingPatience would force on meforacough.No.Ipushedthat

memory aside as well. I setthecupdown.

Burrichdidnotlookatme.HewentontalkingtoChade.When you hunt a deer, youcan often getmuch closer toitsimplybypretendingnottoseeit.Theywillholdpositionandwatch you approach andnotstirahoofaslongasyoudonotlookdirectlyatthem.He picked up the bottle and

poured more brandy in mycup. I snorted at the risingscent of it. I thought I feltsomethingstirring.Athoughtinmymind.Ireachedformywolf.

Nighteyes?

My brother? I sleep,Changer. It isnotyetagoodtimetohunt.

Burrich glared at me. Istopped.

IknewIdidnotwantmorebrandy. But someone elsethought that I did. Someoneelse urgedme to pick up thecup,justtoholdit.Iswirleditin the cup. Verity used toswirlhiswine in thecupandlook into it. I looked into thedarkcup.

Fitz.

Isetthecupdown.Igotupandwalkedaround theroom.I wanted to go out, butBurrich never let me go outalone, andnot at all atnight.SoIwalkedaroundtheroomuntilIcamebacktomychair.I sat down in it again. Thecupofbrandywasstill there.After a time I picked it up,just to make the feeling of

wanting to pick it up goaway. But once I held it inmy hand, he changed it. Hemademethinkaboutdrinkingit. How warm it felt in mybelly.Justdrinkitquick,andthe taste wouldnt last long,justthewarm,goodfeelinginmybelly.

Iknewwhathewasdoing.Iwasbeginningtogetangry.

Justanothersmallsipthen.Soothingly.Whispery.Justtohelp you relax,Fitz. The fireis sowarm,youvehad food.Burrich will protect you.Chade is right there. Youneedntbeonguardsomuch.Just another sip. One moresip.

No.

Atinysip,then,justgetting

yourmouthwet.

I tookanother sip tomakehimstopmakingmewantto.But he didnt stop, so I tookanother. I took a mouthfuland swallowed it. It wasgetting harder and harder toresist. He was wearing medown. And Burrich keptputtingmoreinmycup.

Fitz.Say,Veritysalive.

Thatsall.Sayjustthat.

No.

Doesnt the brandy feelnice in yourbelly?Sowarm.Takealittlemore.

Iknowwhatyouretryingtodo.Youretryingtogetmedrunk. So I cant keep youout.Iwontletyou.Myfacewaswet.

Burrich and Chade wereboth looking atme. Hewasneveracryingdrunkbefore,Burrich observed. At least,notaroundme.Theyseemedtofindthatinteresting.

Say it. Say, Veritysalive.ThenIll letyougo. Ipromise. Just say it. Justonce.Evenasawhisper.Sayit.Sayit.

Ilookeddownatthetable.Very softly, I said, Veritysalive.

Oh? said Burrich. Hewastoocasual.Heleanedtooquickly to tip more brandyinto my cup. The bottle wasempty. He gave to me fromhisowncup.

Suddenly I wanted it. Iwanteditformyself.Ipicked

itupanddrankitalloff.ThenIstoodup.Veritysalive,Isaid. Hes cold, but hesalive.AndthatsallIhavetosay. I went to the door andworkedthelatchandwentoutintothenight.Theydidnttrytostopme.

Burrich was right. All of itwasthere,likeasongonehasheard too often and cannotget out of onesmind. It ranbehind all my thoughts andcolored all my dreams. Itcamepushingbackatmeandgave me no peace. Springventured into summer. Oldmemories began to overlaymynewones.Mylivesbeganstitchingthemselvestogether.Thereweregapsandpuckers

in the joining, but it wasgetting harder and harder torefusetoknowthings.Namestook on meanings and facesagain. Patience, Lacey,Celerity, and Sooty were nolongersimplewordsbutrangas rich as chimingbellswithmemories and emotions.Molly, I finally said outloud to myself one day.Burrich looked up at mesuddenly when I spoke that

word,andnearlylosthisgripon the fine-plaited gut snareline he was making. I heardhim catch his breath as if hewould speak to me, butinsteadhekeptsilent,waitingformetosaymore.Ididnot.Instead Iclosedmyeyesandlowered my face into myhands and longed foroblivion.

I spent a lot of time

standing at the windowlookingoutoverthemeadow.There was nothing to seethere. But Burrich did notstopmeormakemegobackto my chores as he oncewould have. One day, as Ilooked over the rich grass, IaskedBurrich, What arewegoing to do when theshepherds get here? Wherewillwegotolivethen?

Think about it. He hadpegged a rabbit hide to thefloor and was scraping itclean of flesh and fat. Theywont be coming. There areno flocks to bring up tosummer pasture.Most of thegood stock went inland withRegal. He plunderedBuckkeep of everything hecould cart or drive off. Imwilling to bet that any sheephe left in Buckkeep turned

intomuttonoverthewinter.

Probably, I agreed. Andthen something pressed intomy mind, something moreterrible than all the things Iknew and did not want toremember. It was all thethingsIdidnotknow,all thequestions that had been leftunanswered. I went out towalk on themeadow. Iwentpast themeadow,totheedge

ofthestream,andthendownit,totheboggypartwherethecattails grew. I gathered thegreen cattail spikes to cookwiththeporridge.Oncemore,I knew all the names of theplants.Ididnotwantto,butIknewwhichoneswouldkillaman, and how to preparethem. All the old knowledgewas there,waiting to reclaimmewhetherIwouldorno.

When Icameback inwiththe spikes, he was cookingthe grain. I set them on thetable and got a pot of waterfrom the barrel. As I rinsedthem off and picked themover, I finally asked, Whathappened?Thatnight?

He turned very slowly tolookatme,asifIweregamethatmightbe spookedoffbysudden movement. That

night?

The night King Shrewdand Kettricken were toescape.Whydidntyouhavethescrubhorsesandthelitterwaiting?

Oh. That night. Hesighed out as if recalling oldpain. He spoke very slowlyand calmly, as if fearing tostartle me. They were

watching us, Fitz. All thetime.Regalkneweverything.I couldnt have smuggled anoatoutofthestablethatday,letalonethreehorses,alitter,and a mule. There wereFarrow guards everywhere,trying to look as if they hadjustcomedowntoinspecttheemptystalls.Idarednotgotoyoutotellyou.So,intheend,Iwaiteduntilthefeastinghadbegun, until Regal had

crowned himself and thoughthe had won. Then I slippedoutandwentfortheonlytwohorsesIcouldget.SootyandRuddy.Idhiddenthematthesmiths, to make sure Regalcouldntsellthemoffaswell.TheonlyfoodIcouldgetwaswhat I could pilfer from theguardroom. It was the onlythingIcouldthinktodo.

And Queen Kettricken

and the Fool got away onthem. The names fellstrangelyoffmytongue.Ididnotwant to thinkof them, torecallthematall.WhenIhadlast seen the Fool, he hadbeen weeping and accusingme of killing his king. I hadinsistedhe flee in theKingsplace, to savehis life. Itwasnot the best parting memoryto carry of one I had calledmyfriend.

Yes.Burrichbroughtthepot of porridge to the tableand set it there to thicken.Chade and the wolf guidedthem to me. I wanted to gowiththem,butIcouldnt.Idonlyhaveslowedthemdown.Myleg...IknewIcouldntkeep up with the horses forlong, and riding double inthat weather would haveexhaustedthehorses.Ihadtojust let them go. A silence.

Then he growled, lower thana wolfs growl, If ever IfoundoutwhobetrayedustoRegal...

Idid.

Hiseyeslockedonmine,alookofhorrorandincredulityon his face. I looked at myhands. They were starting totremble.

I was stupid. It was myfault.TheQueenslittlemaid,Rosemary. Always about,always underfoot. She musthave been Regals spy. SheheardmetelltheQueentobeready, that King Shrewdwouldbegoingwithher.Sheheard me tell Kettricken todress warmly. Regal wouldhave to guess from that thatshe would be fleeingBuckkeep. Hed know shed

needhorses.Andperhapsshedid more than spy. Perhapsshetookabasketofpoisonedtreats to an old woman.Perhaps she greased a stairtread she knew her queenwouldsoondescend.

I forcedmyself to look upfrom the spikes, to meetBurrichsstrickengaze.Andwhat Rosemary did notoverhear, Justin and Serene

did. They were leeched ontothe King, sucking Skill-strengthoutofhim,andprivytoeverythoughtheSkilledtoVerity, or had from him.Once they knew what I wasdoing, serving as KingsMan, theybegan toSkill-spyonmeaswell.Ididnotknowsuch a thing could be done.But Galen had discoveredhow, and taught it to hisstudents.YourememberWill,

Hostlers son? The coteriemember? He was the best atit.Hecouldmakeyoubelievehewasnteventherewhenhewas.

I shook my head, tried torattle from it my terrifyingmemoriesofWill.Hebroughtback the shadows of thedungeon, the things I stillrefused to recall. I wonderedif I had killed him. I didnt

thinkso.IdidntthinkIdgotenough poison into him. Ilooked up to find Burrichwatchingmeintently.

Thatnight,attheverylastmoment, theKing refused togo,Itoldhimquietly.Ihadthought of Regal as a traitorso long, I had forgotten thatShrewdwouldstillseehimasason.WhatRegaldid,takingVerityscrownwhenheknew

hisbrotherwasalive...KingShrewddidntwant to go onliving, knowing Regal wascapableof that.HeaskedmetobeKingsMan,tolendhimthestrengthtoSkillafarewellto Verity. But Serene andJustin were waiting. Ipaused, new pieces of thepuzzle falling into place. Ishouldhaveknownitwastooeasy.NoguardsontheKing.Why? Because Regal didnt

need them. Because Sereneand Justinwere leeched ontohim.Regalwasfinishedwithhis father. He had crownedhimself King-in-Waiting;therewasnomoregoodtobehad out of Shrewd for him.SotheydrainedKingShrewddry of Skill-strength. Theykilled him. Before he couldeven bid Verity farewell.ProbablyRegalhadtoldthemtobe surehedidnotSkill to

Verityagain.SothenIkilledSerene and Justin. I killedthem the sameway they hadkilled my king. Without achance of fighting back,withoutamomentofmercy.

Easy.Easynow.Burrichcrossedswiftlytome,puthishands on my shoulders andpushed me down in a chair.Youre shaking as if youregoing into a seizure. Calm

yourself.

Icouldnotspeak.

This iswhatChade and Icould not puzzle out,Burrich told me. Who hadbetrayed our plan? Wethoughtofeveryone.EventheFool.ForatimewefearedwehadsentKettrickenoffinthecareofatraitor.

How could you thinkthat? The Fool loved KingShrewdasnooneelsedid.

Wecouldthinkofnooneelsewhoknewallourplans,Burrichsaidsimply.

It was not the Fool whowas our downfall. It was I.And that, I think, was themoment when I came fullybacktomyself.Ihadsaidthe

most unsayable thing, facedmy most unfaceable truth. Ihad betrayed them all. TheFool warned me. He said Iwould be the death of kings,if I did not learn to leavethings alone. Chade warnedme. He tried to make mepromise Iwould set nomorewheels in motion. But Iwould not. So my actionskilled my king. If I had notbeenhelpinghim toSkill,he

wouldnothavebeensoopento his killers. I opened himup, reaching for Verity. Butthose two leeches came ininstead. The Kings assassin.Oh, in somany,manyways,Shrewd. I am so sorry, myking. So sorry. But for me,Regal would have had noreasontokillyou.

Fitz.Burrichsvoicewasfirm. Regal never needed a

reason to kill his father. Heneeded only to run out ofreasons to keep him alive.Andyouhadnocontroloverthat. A sudden frowncreased his brow. Why didtheykillhimrightthen?Whydid they not wait until theyhadtheQueenaswell?

I smiled at him. Yousaved her. Regal thought hehad theQueen.They thought

theyd stopped us when theykept you from getting horsesoutofthestables.Regalevenbragged of it to me, when Iwas in my cell. That shedhad to leave with no horses.And with no warm winterthings.

Burrichgrinnedhard.Sheand the Fool took what hadbeenpackedforShrewd.Andthey left on two of the best

horses ever to come out ofBuckkeeps stables. Illwager they got to theMountains safely,boy.SootyandRudareprobablygrazinginMountainpasturesnow.

It was too thin a comfort.ThatnightIwentoutandranwith the wolf, and Burrichmade no rebuke to me. Butwecouldnot run farenough,nor fast enough, and the

bloodweshedthatnightwasnot thebloodIwished toseerun, nor could the hot freshmeatfillthevoidinsideme.

SoIrememberedmylifeandwho I hadbeen.As thedayspassed, Burrich and I beganto speak openly as friends

again. He gave over hisdominance of me, but notwithout mockinglyexpressinghisregretsforthat.We recalled our old wayswithoneanother,oldwaysoflaughing together, old waysof disagreeing. But as thingssteadied between us andbecamenormal,wewerebothreminded, all the moresharply, of all we no longerhad.

There was not enoughwork in a day to busyBurrich.ThiswasamanwhohadhadfullauthorityoverallofBuckkeepsstablesandthehorses, hounds, and hawksthat inhabited them. Iwatched him invent tasks tofill the hours, and knewhowmuchhepined for thebeastshehadoverseenforsolong.Imissed thebustleand folkofcourt, but hungered most

keenly for Molly. I inventedconversations I would havehad with her, gatheredmeadowsweet and daysedgeflowersbecause they smelledlike her, and lay down atnight recalling the touch ofher hand on my face. Butthesewere not the thingswespokeof. Instead,weputourpieces together to make awhole, of sorts. Burrichfished and I hunted, there

werehidestoscrape,shirtstowash and mend, water tohaul.Itwasalife.Hetriedtospeaktome,once,ofhowhehad come to see me in thedungeon, to bring me thepoison. His hands workedwith small twitchingmotionsas he spoke of how he hadhad to walk away, to leaveme inside that cell. I couldnot let him go on. Lets gofishing,Isuddenlyproposed.

He took a deep breath andnodded.Wewentfishingandspokenomorethatday.

But I had been caged, andstarved, and beaten to death.From time to time, when helookedatme, Iknewhesawthescars.Ishavedaroundtheseam down my cheek, andwatched the hair grow inwhite above my brow wheremy scalp had been split.We

never spoke about it. Irefused to thinkabout it.Butno man could have comethroughthatunchanged.

I began to dream at night.Short vivid dreams, frozenmomentsoffire,searingpain,hopeless fear. I awoke, coldsweat sleeking my hair,queasy with fear. Nothingremained of those dreamswhenIsatupindarkness,not

the tiniest thread by which Icouldunravel them.Only thepain, the fear, the anger, thefrustration.Butaboveall, thefear. The overwhelming fearthat left me shaking andgulping for air, my eyestearing,sourbileupthebackofmythroat.

The first time it happened,thefirsttimeIsatboltuprightwith a wordless cry, Burrich

rolledfromhisbed,toputhishand onmy shoulder, to askif I was all right. I shovedhim away from me sosavagely he crashed into thetable and nearly overset it.Fearandangercrestedintoaninstant of furywhen Iwouldhave killed him simplybecausehewaswhereIcouldreach him.At thatmoment Irejected and despised myselfso completely that I desired

only to destroy everythingthat was me, or bordered onmyself.Irepelledsavagelyatthe entire world, almostdisplacing my ownconsciousness. Brother,brother, brother, Nighteyesyelpeddesperatelywithinme,and Burrich staggered backwithaninarticulatecry.Aftera moment I could swallowand mutter to Burrich, Anightmare,thatwasall.Sorry.

I was still dreaming, just anightmare.

I understand, he saidbrusquely, and then, morethoughtfully, I understand.Hewentbacktohisbed.ButI knew what he understoodwasthathecouldnothelpmewiththis,andthatwasall.

The nightmares did notcome every night, but often

enough to leaveme dreadingmybed.Burrichpretendedtosleepthroughthem,butIwasawareofhimlyingawakeasIfoughtmynightbattlesalone.I had no recollection of thedreams, only the wrenchingterror theybroughtme. Ihadfelt fear before. Often. Fearwhen I had fought Forgedones, fear when we hadbattled Red Ship warriors,fear when I had confronted

Serene.Fearthatwarned,thatspurred, that gave one theedge to stay alive. But thenight fearwasanunmanningterror, a hope that deathwould come and end it,because I was broken andknew I would give themanything rather than facemorepain.

There is no answer to afear like that or the shame

that comes after it. I triedanger, I tried hatred. Neithertearsnorbrandycoulddrownit. It permeated me like anevil smell and colored everyremembrance I had, shadingmy perception of who I hadbeen. No moment of joy, orpassion, or courage that Icould recall was ever quitewhatithadbeen,formymindalways traitorously added,Yes,youhadthat,foratime,

butaftercamethis,andthisiswhat you are now. Thatdebilitating fear was acoweringpresenceinsideme.Iknew,withasickcertainty,thatifIwerepressedIwouldbecome it. I was no longerFitzChivalry. Iwaswhatwasleftafter fearhaddrivenhimfromhisbody.

On the second day afterBurrich had run out ofbrandy, I told him, Ill befine here if you want to gointoBuckkeepTown.

Weve no money to buymore supplies, and nothingleft to sell off. He said itflatly, as if it weremy fault.Hewassittingbythefire.Hefoldedhistwohandstogetherandclaspedthembetweenhis

knees. They had beenshaking, just a little. Weregoing to have to manage onour own now. Theres gamein plenty to be had. If wecant feed ourselves up here,wedeservetostarve.

Are you going to be allright?Iaskedflatly.

He looked at me throughnarrowed eyes. Meaning

what?heasked.

Meaning theres no morebrandy,Isaidasbluntly.

Andyou think Icantgetby without it? His temperwas rising already. It hadbecome increasingly shortsincethebrandyranout.

I gave a very small shrug.I was asking. Thats all. I

sat very still, not looking athim, hoping he wouldntexplode.

Afterapause,hesaid,veryquietly, Well, I supposethats something well bothhavetofindout.

I let a long time pass.FinallyIasked,Whatarewegoingtodo?

He looked at me withannoyance. I toldyou.Huntto feed ourselves. Thatssomethingyoushouldbeabletograsp.

I looked away from him,gave a bobbing nod. Iunderstood. I mean . . . pastthat.Pasttomorrow.

Well. Well hunt for ourmeat.Wecangetbyforabit

thatway.Butsooneror later,wellwantwhatwecantgetnormakeforourselves.SomeChade will get for us, if hecan. Buckkeep is as pickedover as bare bones now. Illhave to go to BuckkeepTown, for a while, and hireoutifIcan.Butfornow...

No, I said quietly. Imeant . . . we cant alwayshide up here, Burrich. What

comesafterthat?

Itwas his turn to be quietawhile. I suppose I hadntgiven it much thought. Atfirstitwasjustaplacetotakeyou while you recovered.Then,foratime,itseemedasifyoudnever...

But Im here, now. Ihesitated.Patience,Ibegan.

Believes you dead,Burrich cut in, perhapsmoreharshly than hed intended.Chade and I are the onlyones who know different.Before we pulled you fromthat coffin, we werent sure.Hadthedosebeentoostrong,would you be really deadfrom it, or frozen from yourdays in the earth? Id seenwhattheyddonetoyou.Hestopped, and for a moment

stared at me. He lookedhaunted. He gave his head atinyshake.Ididntthinkyoucould live through that, letalone the poison. So weoffered no hope to anyone.And then, when we had youout . . .He shook his head,moreviolently.At first,youweresobattered.Whattheyddone to youthere was justsomuchdamage . . . I dontknow what possessed

Patience to clean and bind adead mans wounds, but ifshehadnt...Thenlater...it was not you. After thosefirst few weeks, I wassickened at what we haddone. Put a wolfs soul in amans body, it seemed tome.

Helookedatmeagain,hisface going incredulous at thememory. You went for my

throat. The first day youcouldstandonyourown,youwanted to run away. Iwouldnt let you and youwent for my throat. I couldnot show Patience thatsnarling, snapping creature,letalone...

DoyouthinkMolly...?Ibegan.

Burrich looked away from

me. Probably sheheardyoudied.Afteratime,headded,uncomfortably, Someonehad burned a candle on yourgrave. The snow had beenpushed away, and the waxstump was there still when Icametodigyouup.

Likeadogafterabone.

I was fearful you wouldnotunderstandit.

I did not. I just tookNighteyeswordforit.

It was asmuch as I couldhandle,justthen.Itriedtoletthe conversation die. ButBurrich was relentless. Ifyou went back to Buckkeep,or Buckkeep Town, theywould kill you. Theyd hangyouoverwaterandburnyourbody. Or dismember it. Butfolkwouldbesureyoustayed

deadthistime.

Didtheyhatemeso?

Hateyou?No.Theylikedyou well enough, those thatknew you. But if you cameback, a man who had diedand been buried, againwalking among them, theydfearyou. Itsnota thingyoucouldexplainawayasatrick.TheWitisnotamagicthatis

wellthoughtof.Whenamanisaccusedof itand thendiesand is buried, well, in orderfor them to remember youfondly, youd have to staydead.Iftheysawyouwalkingabout, theyd take it asproofthatRegalwasright;thatyouwere practicingBeastmagic,and used it to kill the King.Theydhavetokillyouagain.More thoroughly the secondtime. Burrich stood

suddenly,andpacedtheroomtwice.Damnme,butIcoulduseadrink,hesaid.

Me,too,Isaidquietly.

Ten days later, Chade cameup thepath.Theold assassinwalked slowly, with a staff,and he carried his pack up

high on his shoulders. Theday was warm, and he hadthrown back the hood of hiscloak. His long gray hairblew in thewind and he hadlet his beard grow to covermore of his face. At firstglance, he looked to be anitineranttinker.Ascarredoldman, perhaps, but no longerthe Pocked Man. Wind andsun had weathered his face.Burrich had gone fishing, a

thing he preferred to doalone.Nighteyeshadcometosun himself on our doorstepinBurrichsabsence,buthadmelted back into the woodsbehindthehutatthefirstwaftofChadesscentontheair. Istoodalone.

For a time I watched himcome. The winter had agedhim, in the lines of his faceand the gray of his hair. But

hewalkedmorestronglythanI remembered, as ifprivationhad toughened him.At last Iwent to meet him, feelingstrangely shy andembarrassed.Whenhelookedupandsawme,hehaltedandstood in the trail. I continuedtowardhim.Boy?heaskedcautiouslywhenIwasnear.Imanaged a nod and a smile.The answering smile thatbroke forth on his face

humbledme.Hedroppedhisstaff to hug me, and thenpressed his cheek tomine asif I were a child. Oh, Fitz,Fitz, my boy, he said in avoicefullofrelief.Ithoughtwe had lost you. I thoughtwed done something worsethan let you die. His oldarms were tight and strongaboutme.

Iwaskindtotheoldman.I

didnottellhimthattheyhad.

2

TheParting

AFTER CROWNING HIMSELFKing of the Six Duchies,Prince Regal Farseeressentially abandoned the

CoastalDuchiestotheirowndevices. He had strippedBuckkeep itself and a goodpart of Buck Duchy of asmuchcoinashecouldwringfrom it. From Buckkeep,horses and stock had beensold off, with the very besttaken inland to Regals newresidence at Tradeford. Thefurnishingsandlibraryofthetraditional royal seat hadbeenplunderedaswell,some

to featherthenewnest,somedivvied out to his Inlanddukesandnoblesasfavorsorsold outright to them. Grainwarehouses,winecellars, thearmories, all had beenplundered and the lootcarriedoffinland.

His announced plan hadbeen tomove theailingKingShrewd,andthewidowedandpregnant Queen-in-Waiting

Kettricken, inland toTradeford, thattheymightbesaferfromtheRedShipraidsthat plagued the CoastalDuchies. This, too, was theexcuse for the looting offurnishings and valuablesfrom Buckkeep. But with thedeath of Shrewd and thedisappearance of Kettricken,even this flimsy reasonvanished. Nonetheless he leftBuckkeep as soon after his

coronation as he could. Thetale has been told that whenhis Council of Noblesquestioned his decision, hetold them that the CoastalDuchiesrepresentedonlywarandexpensetohim,thattheyhadalwaysbeenaleechuponthe resources of the InlandDuchies and he wished theOutIslandersthejoyoftakingsuch a rocky and cheerlessplace. Regal was later to

denyhavingeverutteredsuchwords.

When Kettricken vanished,King Regal was left in aposition for which there wasno historical precedent. Thechild Kettricken carried hadobviouslybeennextinlineforthe crown. But both Queenand unborn child hadvanished, under verysuspiciouscircumstances.Not

all were certain that Regalhimselfhadnotengineeredit.Even if the Queen hadremained at Buckkeep, thechild could not assume eventhe title of King-in-Waitingfor at least seventeen years.Regalbecameveryanxioustoassume the title of King asswiftlyaspossible,butbylawhe needed the recognition ofallSixDuchiestoclaimit.Hebought the crown with a

numberof concessions to hisCoastal Dukes. The majoronewasRegalspromisethatBuckkeep would remainmanned and ready to defendthecoast.

The command of theancient keep was foisted offon his eldest nephew, heir tothe title Duke of Farrow.Lord Bright, at twenty-five,had grown restless waiting

forhisfathertopasspowertohim. He was more thanwilling to assume authorityoverBuckkeepandBuck,buthad little experience to drawon.Regaltookhimself inlandto Tradeford Castle on theVin River in Farrow, whileyoung Lord Bright remainedat Buckkeep with a pickedguard of Farrow men. It isnot reported that Regal lefthim any funds to operate

from, so the young manendeavored towringwhatheneededfromthemerchantsofBuckkeep Town, and thealready embattled farmersandshepherdsofsurroundingBuck Duchy. While there isno indication thathe feltanymalice toward the folk ofBuck or the other CoastalDuchies, neither did he haveanyloyaltytowardthem.

Also in residence atBuckkeepat this timewereahandful of minor Bucknobility.Most landholders ofBuckwereattheirownlesserkeeps, doing what little theycould to protect their localfolk. The most notable toremainatBuckkeepwasLadyPatience, she who had beenQueen-in-Waiting until herhusband Prince Chivalryabdicated the throne to his

younger brother Verity.Manning Buckkeep were theBuck soldiers, as well asQueen Kettrickens personalguard, and the fewmenwhoremained of King Shrewdsguard. Morale was pooramongthesoldiers,forwageswere intermittent and therationspoor.LordBrighthadbrought his own personalguardwith him to Buckkeep,andobviouslypreferred them

to the Buck men. Thesituation was furthercomplicated by a muddledchain of command.Ostensibly the Buck troopswere to report to CaptainKeffeloftheFarrowmen,thecommander of Lord Brightsguard.Inreality,Foxgloveofthe Queens Guard, Kerf oftheBuckkeepGuard,andoldRed of King Shrewds guardbanded together and kept

their own counsel. If theyreportedregularlytoanyone,itwasLadyPatience.Intimethe Buck soldiers came tospeak of her as the Lady ofBuckkeep.

Even after his coronation,Regalremainedjealousofhistitle. He sent messengers farand wide, seeking word ofwhere Queen Kettricken andtheunbornheirmightbe.His

suspicions that she mighthave sought shelter with herfather, King Eyod of theMountain Kingdom, led himtodemandherreturnofhim.When Eyod replied that thewhereabouts of theQueen ofthe Six Duchies was noconcern for the Mountainfolk, Regal angrily severedties with the MountainKingdom, cutting off tradeand attempting to block even

common travelers fromcrossing the boundaries. Atthe same time, rumors thatalmost certainly began atRegals behest began tocirculate that the childKettrickencarriedwasnotofVeritys getting and hencehadnolegitimateclaimtotheSixDuchiesthrone.

Itwasabitter time for thesmall folk of Buck.

Abandonedby theirkinganddefended only by a smallforce of poorly provisionedsoldiers, the common folkwere left rudderless on astormysea.WhattheRaidersdidnotstealordestroy,LordBrightsmenseizedfortaxes.The roads became plaguedwith robbers, for when anhonest man cannot make aliving, folkwill dowhat theymust. Small crofters gave up

any hope of making a livingandfledthecoast,tobecomebeggars, thieves, andwhoresin the inland cities. Tradedied, for ships sent outseldomcamebackatall.

ChadeandIsatonthebenchinfrontofthehutandtalked.

We did not speak ofportentous things, nor thesignificanteventsof thepast.Wedidnotdiscussmyreturnfrom thegraveor thecurrentpoliticalsituation. Instead,hespoke of our small sharedthings as if I had been goneon a long journey. Slink theweasel was getting old; thepastwinterhadstiffenedhim,and even the coming ofspringhadnotenlivenedhim.

Chade feared he would notlast another year. Chade hadfinally managed to drypennant plant leaves withoutthem mildewing, but hadfound the dried herb to havelittle potency. We bothmissed Cook Saras pastries.Chade asked if there wasanythingfrommyroomthatIwanted. Regal had had itsearched, and had left it indisarray,buthedidnot think

much had been taken, norwouldbemissedifIchosetohaveitnow.Iaskedhimifherecalled the tapestry of KingWisdom treating with theElderlings.Herepliedthathedid, but that it was far toobulkyforhimtodraguphere.I gave him such a strickenlook that he immediatelyrelentedandsaidhesupposedhecouldfindaway.

I grinned. It was a joke,Chade. That thing has neverdone anything save give menightmareswhenIwassmall.No. Theres nothing in myroom thats important to menow.

Chade looked at me,almost sadly. You leavebehind a life, with what, theclothes on your back and anearring?And you say theres

nothing there youd wishbroughttoyou.Doesthatnotstrikeyouasstrange?

I sat thinking for amoment. The sword Verityhadgivenme.ThesilverringKingEyodhadgivenme,thathad been Rurisks. A pinfrom Lady Grace. Patiencessea-pipes had been in myroomI hoped she had gotthem back. My paints and

papers. A little box I hadcarved to hold my poisons.BetweenMollyandme therehad never been any tokens.Shewouldneverallowmetogive her any gifts, and I hadnever thought to steal aribbon from her hair. If Ihad...

No.Acleanbreakisbest,perhaps. Though youveforgotten one item. I turned

thecollarofmyroughshirttoshow him the tiny rubynestled in silver. Thestickpin Shrewd gave me, tomark me as his. I still havethat.Patience had used it tosecure the grave cloth thathad wrapped me. I set asidethatthought.

Im still surprised thatRegalsguarddidntrobyourbody. I suppose theWit has

such an evil reputation theyfeared you dead as well asalive.

I reached to finger thebridge of my nose where ithad been broken. They didnot seem to fearmemuch atall,thatIcouldtell.

Chade smiled crookedly atme. The nose bothers you,does it? I think it gives your

facemorecharacter.

I squinted at him in thesunlight.Really?

No. But its the politething to say. Its not so bad,really. It almost looks as ifsomeonetriedtosetit.

I shuddered at the jaggedtip of a memory. I dontwanttothinkaboutit,Itold

himhonestly.

Pain for me clouded hisfacesuddenly. I lookedawayfrom it, unable to bear hispity. The recollections of thebeatings I had endured weremore bearable if I couldpretend that no one else hadknownofthem.Ifeltshamedat what Regal had done tome. I leaned my head backagainst the sun-soaked wood

of the cabinwall and took along breath. So. What ishappening down there wherepeoplearestillalive?

Chade cleared his throat,acceptingthechangeintopic.Well. How much do youknow?

Not much. ThatKettricken and the Fool gotaway. That Patience may

have heard Kettricken gotsafelytotheMountains.ThatRegal is angry with KingEyod of the Mountains andhas cuthis trade routes.ThatVerity is still alive, but noonehasheardfromhim.

Whoa!Whoa!Chade satup very straight. The rumorabout Kettricken . . . yourememberthatfromthenightBurrichandIdiscussedit.

I looked aside from him.In the way that you mightremember a dream you oncehad. In underwater colors,and the events out of order.Only that I heard you saysomethingaboutit.

And that about Verity?The sudden tension in himputachillofdreaddownmyspine.

He Skilled to me thatnight, I said quietly. I toldyouthenthathewasalive.

DAMN!Chadeleapedtohis feet and hopped about inrage. It was a performance Ihad never witnessed beforeand I stared at him, caughtbetweenamazementandfear.Burrich and I gave yourwords no credence! Oh, wewerepleasedtohearyouutter

them, andwhen you ran off,he said, Let the boy go,thats as much as he can dotonight, he remembers hisprince.Thatsallwethoughtitwas.Damnanddamn!Hehaltedsuddenlyandpointedafingeratme.Report.Tellmeeverything.

I fumbled after what Irecalled.Itwasasdifficulttosort it out as if I had seen it

through thewolfs eyes. Hewas cold. But alive. Eithertired or hurt. Slowed,somehow. He was trying togetthroughandIwaspushinghim away so he keptsuggestingIdrink.Togetmywallsdown,Isuppose...

Wherewashe?

I dont know. Snow. Aforest.Igropedafterghostly

memories. I dont think heknewwherehewas.

Chades green eyes boredintome.Canyou reachhimatall,feelhimatall?Canyoutellmehestilllives?

Ishookmyhead.Myheartwas starting to pound in mychest.

Can you Skill to him

now?

I shook my head. Tensiontightenedmybelly.

Chades frustration grewwitheveryshakeofmyhead.Damnit,Fitz,youmust!

I dont want to! I criedout suddenly. I was on myfeet.

Runaway!Runawayfast!

I did. Itwas suddenly thatsimple. I fled Chade and thehut as if all the devils of theOutIslander hell-islandswereafter me. Chade called afterme but I refused to hear hiswords.Iran,andassoonasIwasintheshelterofthetrees,Nighteyeswasbesideme.

Not thatway,Heart of thePack is that way, he warnedme. So we bolted uphill,

away from thecreek,up toabig tangle of brambles thatoverhung a bank whereNighteyes sheltered onstormy nights.What was it?What was the danger?Nighteyesdemanded.

Hewantedmetogoback,Iadmitted after a time. I triedto frame it in a way thatNighteyes would understand.Hewantedmeto...benota

wolfanymore.

Asuddenchillwentupmyback. In explaining toNighteyes, I had broughtmyself face-to-face with thetruth.Thechoicewassimple.Be a wolf, with no past, nofuture,onlytoday.Oraman,twisted by his past, whoseheart pumped fear with hisblood. I could walk on twolegs, and know shame and

coweringasawayoflife.Orrun on four, and forget untileven Molly was just apleasantscentIrecalled.Isatstillbeneaththebrambles,myhand resting lightly onNighteyes back, my eyesstaring into a place only Icould see. Slowly the lightchanged and eveningdeepened to dusk. Mydecision grew as slowly andinevitably as the creeping

dark. My heart cried outagainst it,but thealternativeswereunbearable.Isteeledmywilltoit.

It was dark when I wentback. I crept home with mytail between my legs. It wasstrange to come back to thecabin as a wolf again, tosmell the risingwood smokeasamansthing,andtoblinkat thefiresglowthroughthe

shutters.Reluctantly I peeledmymindfreeofNighteyes.

Wouldyounot ratherhuntwithme?

I would much rather huntwith you. But I cannot thisnight.

Why?

Ishookmyhead.Theedgeof decision was so thin and

new, I dared not test it byspeaking. I stopped at theedge of the woods to brushthe leaves and dirt from myclothes and to smooth backmyhairandretieitinatail.Ihopedmyfacewasnotdirty.I squared my shoulders andforcedmyselftowalkbacktothe cabin, to open the doorandenterand lookat them.Ifelt horribly vulnerable.Theyd been sharing

information about me.Betweenthetwoofthemtheyknew almost all of mysecrets. My tattered dignitynow dangled in shreds. HowcouldIstandbeforethemandexpecttobetreatedasaman?YetIcouldnotfaultthemforit. They had been trying tosaveme.Frommyself,itwastrue, but save me all thesame. Not their fault thatwhat they had saved was

scarcelyworthhaving.

Theywere at tablewhen Ientered. If I had run off likethisafewweeksago,Burrichwould have leaped up, toshakemeandcuffmewhenIreturned.IknewwewerepastthatsortofthingnowbutthememorygavemeawarinessIcould not completelydisguise. However, his faceshowed only relief, while

Chade looked at me withshameandconcern.

I did not mean to pressyou that hard, he saidearnestly, before I couldspeak.

You didnt, I saidquietly. You but put yourfingeronthespotwhereIhadbeen pressing myself themost. Sometimes a man

doesntknowhowbadlyheshurt until someone elseprobesthewound.

I drew upmy chair. Afterweeks of simple food to seecheese and honey andelderberrywineallsetoutonthe table at once was almostshocking.Therewasaloafofbread as well to supplementthe troutBurrich had caught.For a time we just ate,

without talk other than tablerequests. It seemed to easethe strangeness. But themoment the meal wasfinished and cleared away,thetensioncameback.

I understand yourquestion now, Burrich saidabruptly. Chade and I bothlookedathiminsurprise.Afew days ago, when youasked what we would do

next. Understand that I hadgiven Verity up as lost.Kettricken carried his heir,but she was safe now in theMountains. There was nomore I could do for her. If Iintervened in any way, Imight betray her to others.Best to let her stay hidden,safewithher fatherspeople.Bythetimeherchildcametoanagetoreachforhisthrone. . .well, if Iwas not inmy

grave by then, I supposed Iwould do what I could. Fornow,Isawmyservicetomykingasathingofthepast.Sowhen you asked me I sawonly theneed to take care ofourselves.

And now? I askedquietly.

IfVeritylivesstill,thenapretender has claimed his

throne.Iamsworntocometomy kings aid. As is Chade.Asareyou.Theywerebothlookingatmeveryhard.

Runawayagain.

Icant.

BurrichflinchedasifIhadpoked him with a pin. Iwondered, if Imoved for thedoor, would he fling himself

uponme to stopme?But hedid not speak or move, justwaited.

Not I. That Fitz died, Isaidbluntly.

Burrich looked as if I hadstruck him.ButChade askedquietly, Then why does hestill wear King Shrewdspin?

I reached up and drew itoutofmycollar.Here, Ihadintended to say, here, youtake it and all that goeswithit.Imdonewithit.Ihaventthe spine for it. Instead I satandlookedatit.

Elderberry wine? Chadeoffered,butnottome.

Itscooltonight.Illmaketea,Burrichcountered.

Chade nodded. Still I sat,holdingthered-and-silverpinin my hand. I rememberedmy kings hands as hedpushed the pin through thefolds of a boys shirt.There, he had said. Nowyou are mine. But he wasdead now. Did that free mefrom my promise? And thelast thinghehad said tome?WhathaveImadeofyou?Ipushed that question aside

once more. More important,whatwas I now?Was I nowwhatRegalhadmadeofme?OrcouldIescapethat?

Regal told me, I saidconsideringly.ThatIhadbutto scratch myself to findNameless the dog-boy. Ilooked up and forcedmyselfto meet Burrichs eyes. Itmightbenicetobehim.

Wouldit?Burrichasked.Therewas a timewhenyoudid not think so. Who areyou, Fitz, if you are not theKings Man?What are you?Wherewouldyougo?

Wherewould I go, were Ifree? To Molly, cried myheart. I shook my head,thrustingasidetheideabeforeit could sear me. No. Evenbefore I had lost my life, I

hadlosther.Iconsideredmyempty, bitter freedom. Therewas only one place I couldgo, really. I set my will,lookedup,andmetBurrichseyes with a firm gaze. Imgoing away. Anywhere. Tothe Chalced States, toBingtown. Im good withanimals, Im a decent scribe,too.Icouldmakealiving.

No doubt of it. But a

living is not a life, Burrichpointedout.

Well, what is? Idemanded,suddenlyandtrulyangry.Why did they have tomakethissohard?Wordsandthoughts suddenly goutedfrom me like poison from afestering wound. Youdhavemedevotemyselftomyking and sacrifice all else toit, as you did. Give up the

woman I love to follow akinglikeadogathisheels,asyoudid.Andwhen that kingabandoned you? Youswallowed it, you raised hisbastard for him. Then theytook it all away from you,stable, horses, dogs, men tocommand. They left younothing,notevenaroofoveryour head, those kings youwere sworn to. So what didyou do? With nothing else

left to you, you hung on tome, dragged the bastard outof a coffin and forced himback to life. A life I hate, alifeIdontwant!Iglaredathimaccusingly.

He stared at me, bereft ofwords. I wanted to stop, butsomething droveme on. Theanger felt good, like acleansing fire. I clenchedmyhands into fists as I

demanded, Why are youalways there? Why do youalwaysstandmeupagain,forthem to knock down? Forwhat? Tomakeme owe yousomething? To give you aclaimonmylifebecauseyoudonthavethespinetohavealife of your own? All youwant to do is make me justlike you, a man with no lifeofmyown,amanwhogivesit all up for my king. Cant

youseetheresmoretobeingalive thangiving it allup forsomeoneelse?

I met his eyes and thenlookedawayfromthepainedastonishment I saw there.No, I said dully after abreath. You dont see, youcant know. You cant evenimagine what youve takenaway from me. I should bedead,butyouwouldntletme

die. All with the best ofintentions, always believingyou were doing what wasright, no matter how it hurtme. But who gave you thatright over me?Who decreedyoucoulddothistome?

Therewasnosoundbutmyownvoiceintheroom.Chadewas frozen, and the look onBurrichs faceonlymademeangrier. I saw him gather

himself up. He reached forhis pride and dignity as hesaid quietly, Your fathergaveme that task,Fitz. Ididmybestbyyou,boy.Thelastthing my prince told me,Chivalry said to me, Raisehimwell.AndI...

Gave up the next decadeof your life to raisingsomeoneelsesbastard,Icutin with savage sarcasm.

Tookcareofme,because itwastheonlythingyoureallyknew how to do. All yourlife, Burrich, youve beenlooking after someone else,putting someone else first,sacrificing any kind of anormal life for someoneelses benefit. Loyal as ahound.Isthatalife?Haventyou ever thought of beingyour own man, and makingyour own decisions? Or is a

fear of that what pushes youdown the neck of a bottle?Myvoicehadrisentoashout.When I ran out of words, Istaredathim,mychestrisingandfallingasIpantedoutmyfury.

Asanangryboy, Idoftenpromised myself thatsomeday he would pay forevery cuff he had given me,for every stall Id had to

muck out when I thought Iwas too tired to stand. Withthosewords,Ikeptthatsulkylittle promise tenfold. Hiseyes were wide and he wasspeechless with pain. I sawhischestheaveonce,as if tocatchabreathknockedoutofhim. The shock in his eyeswas the same as if I hadsuddenlyplungedaknifeintohim.

I stared at him. I wasntsure where those words hadcomefrom,butitwastoolateto call them back. SayingIm sorry would not un-utter them,wouldnotchangethem in the least. I suddenlyhoped he would hit me, thathe would give both of us atleastthatmuch.

He stood unevenly, thechair legs scraping back on

the wooden floor. The chairitself teetered over and fellwith a crash as he walkedaway from it. Burrich, whowalkedsosteadywhenfullofbrandy,wove likeadrunkashe made it to the door andwentoutintothenight.I justsat, feeling something insideme go very still. I hoped itwasmyheart.

For a moment all was

silence. A long moment.Then Chade sighed. Why?heaskedquietlyafteratime.

I dont know. I lied sowell. Chade himself hadtaught me. I looked into thefire. For a moment, I almosttried to explain it to him. Idecided I could not. I foundmyself talking all around it.Maybe I needed to get freeof him. Of all hed done for

me, evenwhen I didntwanthim to do it. He has to stopdoing things I can never payhimbackfor.Thingsnomanshould do for another,sacrifices no man shouldmakeforanotherman.Idontwant toowehimanymore.Idont want to owe anyoneanything.

WhenChade spoke, itwasmatter-of-factly. His long-

fingered hands rested on histhighs, quietly, almostrelaxed. But his green eyeshadgone the colorof copperore, and his anger lived inthem. Ever since you cameback from the MountainKingdom, its been as if youwere spoiling for a fight.Withanyone.Whenyouwereaboyandyouweresullenorsulky, I couldput it down toyour being a boy, with a

boys judgment andfrustrations. But you camebackwithan . . .anger.Likea challenge to the world atlarge,tokillyouifitcould.Itwasnt just that you threwyourself in Regals path:whateverwasmostdangerousto you, you plunged yourselfinto.Burrichwasnt the onlyonetoseeit.Lookbackoverthe last year: every time Iturned about, here was Fitz,

railing at the world, in themiddle of a fistfight, in themidstofabattle,wrappedupin bandaging, drunk as afisherman,orlimpasastringand mewling for elfbark.When were you calm andthoughtful, when were youmerry with your friends,whenwereyoueversimplyatpeace? If you werentchallenging your enemies,you were driving away your

friends. What happenedbetween you and the Fool?WhereisMollynow?Youvejust sent Burrich packing.Whosnext?

You, I suppose. Thewords came out of me anyway, inevitably. I did notwant to speak them but Icould not hold them back. Itwastime.

Youvemoveda fairwaytoward that already,with thewayyouspoketoBurrich.

I know that, I saidbluntly.Imethiseyes.Foralong time now, nothing Ivedone has pleased you. OrBurrich. Or anyone. I cantseemtomakeagooddecisionlately.

Id concur with that,

Chadeagreedrelentlessly.

Anditwasback,theemberof my anger billowing intoflame. Perhaps because Ivenever been given the chanceto make my own decisions.Perhaps because Ive beeneveryones boy too long.Burrichs stableboy, yourapprentice assassin, Verityspet, Patiences page. WhendidIgettobemine,forme?

Iaskedthequestionfiercely.

When did you not?Chade demanded just asheatedly. Thats all youvedone since you came backfrom the Mountains. Youwent to Verity to say youdhad enough of being anassassinjustwhenquietworkwasneeded.Patience tried towarnyouclearofMolly, butyou had your way there as

well. It made her a target.You pulled Patience intoplots that exposed her todanger. You bonded to thewolf, despite allBurrich saidto you. You questioned myevery decision about KingShrewds health. And yournext-to-last stupid act atBuckkeepwastovolunteertobepartofanuprisingagainstthecrown.Youbroughtusasclose to a civilwar asweve

beeninahundredyears.

Andmylaststupidact?Iaskedwithbittercuriosity.

Killing Justin andSerene. He spoke a flataccusation.

Theyd just drained myking, Chade, I pointed outicily.Killedhiminmyarmsasitwere.WhatwasItodo?

Hestoodupandsomehowmanagedtotowerovermeashehadusedto.Withallyouryearsoftrainingfromme,allmy schooling in quiet work,youwent racing about in thekeep with a drawn knife,cutting the throatofone,andstabbingtheother todeathinthe Great Hall before allassembled nobles. . . . Myfineapprenticeassassin!Thatwas the only way you could

thinkoftoaccomplishit?

I was angry! I roared athim.

Exactly! he roared back.You were angry. So youdestroyed our power base atBuckkeep! You had theconfidence of the CoastalDukes, and you chose toshow yourself to them as amadman! Shattered their last

bit of faith in the Farseerline.

A fewmoments ago, yourebuked me for having theconfidenceofthosedukes.

No. I rebuked you forputting yourself before them.You should never have letthem offer you the rule ofBuckkeep. Had you beendoing your tasks properly,

such a thought would neverhave occurred to them. Overandoverandoveragain,youforgetyourplace.Youarenotaprince,youareanassassin.You are not the player, youare the game-piece. Andwhen you make your ownmoves, you set every otherstrategy awry and endangereverypieceontheboard!

Notbeingabletothinkofa

replyisnotthesamethingasaccepting anothers words. Iglowered at him. He did notback down but simplycontinued to stand, lookingdown at me. Under thescrutiny of Chades greenstarethestrengthofmyangerdesertedmeabruptly,leavingonly bitterness. My secretundercurrent of fear welledoncemoretothesurface.Myresolve bled from me. I

couldnt do this. I did nothave the strength to defythem both. After a time, Iheardmyself saying sullenly,All right. Very well. Youand Burrich are right, asalways. I promise I shall nolonger think, I shall simplyobey.What do youwantmetodo?

No.Succinct.

Nowhat?

He shook his head slowly.Whathascomemostcleartome tonight is that Imust notbaseanythingonyou.Youllget no assignment from me,nor will you be privy to myplansany longer.Thosedaysare over. I could not graspthe finality in his voice. Heturned aside from me, hiseyes going afar. When he

spokeagain,itwasnotasmymaster, but as Chade. Helooked at the wall as hespoke. I love you, boy. Idontwithdrawthatfromyou.But youre dangerous. Andwhat we must attempt isdangerous enough withoutyou going berserk in themiddleofit.

What do you attempt? Iasked,despitemyself.

His eyes met mine as heslowlyshookhishead.Inthekeeping of that secret, hesundered our ties. I feltsuddenly adrift. I watched inadazeashetookuphispackandcloak.

Its dark out, I pointedout. AndBuckkeep is a far,roughwalk,evenindaylight.At least stay the night,Chade.

Icant.Youdbutpickatthis quarrel like a scab untilyou got it bleeding afresh.Enough hard words havealready been said. Best Ileavenow.

Andhedid.

I sat and watched the fireburn low alone. I had gonetoo far with both of them,much farther than I had ever

intended.Ihadwantedtopartways with them; instead Idpoisoned every memory ofme theyd ever had. It wasdone.Theredbenomendingthis. I got up and began togather my things. It took avery short time. I knottedthemintoabundlemadewithmywinter cloak. IwonderedifIactedoutofchildishpiqueor sudden decisiveness. Iwondered if there was a

difference. I sat for a timebefore the hearth, clutchingmy bundle. IwantedBurrichto come back, so he wouldseeIwassorry,wouldknowIwas sorry as I left. I forcedmyself to look carefully atthat.ThenIundidmybundleandputmyblanketbeforethehearthandstretchedoutonit.Ever since Burrich haddraggedmebackfromdeath,hehadsleptbetweenmeand

thedoor.Perhapsithadbeentokeepmein.Somenightsithadfeltas ifhewereall thatstood between me and thedark. Now he was not there.Despitethewallsofthehut,IfeltIcurledaloneonthebare,wildfaceoftheworld.

Youalwayshaveme.

Iknow.Andyouhaveme.Itried, but could not put any

real feeling in the words. Ihadpouredouteveryemotioninme,andnowIwasempty.And so tired. With so muchstilltodo.

The gray one has wordswithHeartof thePack.ShallIlisten?

No. Theirwords belong tothem. I felt jealous that theywere together while I was

alone.YetIalsotookcomfortin it. Perhaps Burrich couldtalkChade into coming backuntilmorning.PerhapsChadecould leech some of thepoisonIdsprayedatBurrich.Istaredintothefire.Ididnotthinkhighlyofmyself.

There isadeadspot in thenight, that coldest, blackesttime when the world hasforgotten evening and dawn

is not yet a promise. A timewhen it is far too early toarise,butsolatethatgoingtobedmakes small sense. ThatwaswhenBurrich came in. Iwas not asleep, but I did notstir.Hewasnotfooled.

Chades gone, he saidquietly. I heardhim right thefallen chair.He sat on it andbegan taking his boots off. Ifeltnohostilityfromhim,no

animosity. It was as if myangry words had never beenspoken. Or as if hed beenpushed past anger and hurtintonumbness.

Itstoodarkforhimtobewalking,Isaidtotheflames.I spoke carefully, fearing tobreakthespellofcalm.

I know. But he had asmall lantern with him. He

said he feared more to stay,feared he could not keep hisresolvewith you. To let yougo.

What I had been snarlingfor earlier now seemed likean abandonment. The fearsurgedupinme,undercuttingmyresolve.Isatupabruptly,panicky. I took a longshuddering breath. Burrich.What I said to you earlier, I

wasangry,Iwas...

Right on target. Thesound he made might havebeen a laugh, if not sofreightedwithbitterness.

Only in the way thatpeoplewhoknowoneanotherbest know how to hurt oneanotherbest,Ipleaded.

No. It is so. Perhaps this

dogdoesneedamaster.Themockery in his voice as hespoke of himself was morepoisonous than any venom Ihad spewed. I could notspeak.Hesatup,lethisbootsdrop to the floor.Heglancedat me. I did not set out tomake you just like me, Fitz.That is not a thing I wouldwish on any man. I wishedyoutobelikeyourfather.Butsometimes it seemed to me

thatnomatterwhatIdid,youpersisted in patterning yourlife after mine. He staredintotheembersforatime.Atlast he began to speak again,softly,tothefire.Hesoundedas if he were telling an oldtaletoasleepychild.

IwasbornintheChalcedStates. A little coast town, afishing and shipping port.Lees.Mymotherdidwashing

to support my grandmotherandme.My fatherwas deadbefore I was born, taken bythe sea. My grandmotherlooked afterme, but shewasvery old, and often ill. Iheardmorethansawhisbittersmile. A lifetimeof being aslavedoesnotleaveawomanwith soundhealth.She lovedme,anddidherbestwithme.But I was not a boy whowould play in the cottage at

quiet games. And there wasnooneathomestrongenoughtoopposemywill.

So I bonded, veryyoung,totheonlystrongmaleinmyworld who was interested inme. A street cur. Mangy.Scarred. His only value wassurvival, his only loyalty tome. As my loyalty was tohim.Hisworld, hiswaywasall I knew. Takingwhat you

wanted,when youwanted it,andnotworryingpastgettingit.IamsureyouknowwhatImean.Theneighbors thoughtI was a mute. My motherthought Iwas a half-wit.Mygrandmother, I am sure, hadher suspicions. She tried todrive the dog away, but likeyou,