ASSERTIVENESSASSERTIVENESS

A workshop for teachersA workshop for teachers

Lic. Mariana PortaLic. Mariana Porta

WHY WOULD TEACHERS WHY WOULD TEACHERS NEED IT?NEED IT?

The teaching profession requires The teaching profession requires interaction at many levels.interaction at many levels.

Assertive behavior improves the Assertive behavior improves the quality and effectiveness of the quality and effectiveness of the interaction.interaction.

IN AND OUTSIDE THE IN AND OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOMCLASSROOM CLASSROOM CLASSROOM

CONTEXTCONTEXT giving feedbackgiving feedback keeping disciplinekeeping discipline supporting your supporting your

choiceschoices setting setting

expectationsexpectations

INSTITUTIONAL INSTITUTIONAL CONTEXTCONTEXT

teacher -- parentteacher -- parent teacher -- studentteacher -- student teacher -- colleagueteacher -- colleague teacher -- supervisorteacher -- supervisor teacher -- staff teacher -- staff

membermember

WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT ASSERTIVENESS?ASSERTIVENESS?

yesyes nono

It is a personal It is a personal quality.quality.

It is a kind of It is a kind of behavior.behavior.

It is specific to a It is specific to a person in a situation.person in a situation.

It is a universal It is a universal principle.principle.

It is based on free It is based on free will.will.

Mini Quiz

DEFINTION 1DEFINTION 1

Assertiveness is a kind of Assertiveness is a kind of behavior.behavior.

It is specific to a person in a It is specific to a person in a situation.situation.

It is based on free will.It is based on free will. It is socially effective.It is socially effective. It is culture-dependent.It is culture-dependent.

TASK 1TASK 1

You are in a queue at the movie theater. You are in a queue at the movie theater. Somebody comes in and jumps the queue Somebody comes in and jumps the queue right in front of you. What do you choose to right in front of you. What do you choose to do?do?– Nothing. You just bear it.Nothing. You just bear it.– Vent comments out loud such as “… some people Vent comments out loud such as “… some people

are such/so ….” but you don’t face the person.are such/so ….” but you don’t face the person.– Face the guy bluntly and furiously, after all who Face the guy bluntly and furiously, after all who

does he think he is? does he think he is? – Approach the man and politely but firmly tell him Approach the man and politely but firmly tell him

that he should take his turn at the end of the line.that he should take his turn at the end of the line.– Other …Other …

ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS DEFINITION 2DEFINITION 2

Assertiveness is defined as Assertiveness is defined as behavior which enables behavior which enables people to people to actact in their own in their own best interestbest interest by expressing by expressing their thoughts, feelings, their thoughts, feelings, desires and opinions desires and opinions directly, honestly and directly, honestly and appropriately. appropriately.

ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS DEFINITION 3DEFINITION 3

Assertiveness is Assertiveness is standing up for your standing up for your rights rights while while respecting the respecting the rights of others.rights of others.

ADVANTAGES OF ADVANTAGES OF BEHAVING BEHAVING ASSERTIVELYASSERTIVELY Respecting yourself and othersRespecting yourself and others Developing healthy relationshipsDeveloping healthy relationships Giving others a chance to change Giving others a chance to change

their behaviortheir behavior Feeling better about yourselfFeeling better about yourself Preventing conflictPreventing conflict Defending basic human rightsDefending basic human rights

SOME BASIC HUMAN SOME BASIC HUMAN RIGHTSRIGHTS

1.1. The right to be treated with dignity and respectThe right to be treated with dignity and respect

2.2. The right to reject requests without feeling The right to reject requests without feeling guiltyguilty

3.3. The right to experience and express feelings.The right to experience and express feelings.

4.4. The right to stop and think before acting.The right to stop and think before acting.

5.5. The right to change an opinion.The right to change an opinion.

6.6. The right to ask for what you need.The right to ask for what you need.

7.7. The right to do less than you are able to do.The right to do less than you are able to do.

8.8. The right to be independent.The right to be independent.

9.9. The right to decide over your own body and The right to decide over your own body and property.property.

10.10. The right not to behave assertively.The right not to behave assertively.

RIGHTSRIGHTS

BASIC HUMAN RIGHTSBASIC HUMAN RIGHTS– Rights all human beings haveRights all human beings have

RIGHTS GIVEN BY THE ROLERIGHTS GIVEN BY THE ROLE– Rights a person has as part of Rights a person has as part of

his/her role attributions.his/her role attributions.

BIDIRECTIONAL MODELBIDIRECTIONAL MODEL

ASSERTIVEASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVEAGGRESSIVE

PASSIVEPASSIVE PASSIVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVEAGGRESSIVE

OVERT

EXPRESSION

COVERT EXPRESSION

NO COERCION

COERCION

-

+

+

PASSIVE BEHAVIORPASSIVE BEHAVIOR

Passiveness is having Passiveness is having respect for other's rights respect for other's rights while having no respect for while having no respect for your own.your own.

– Ex. denial, isolationEx. denial, isolation

AGGRESSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORBEHAVIOR

Getting what you want Getting what you want with no regard to the rights with no regard to the rights of others.of others.

–Ex. Verbal offense, Ex. Verbal offense, threat, hostile commentsthreat, hostile comments

PASSIVE AGRESSIVEPASSIVE AGRESSIVE

It is having no respect for It is having no respect for anyone's rights.anyone's rights.–Ex. Sarcasm, malicious Ex. Sarcasm, malicious comments, rumor, comments, rumor, manipulation, double manipulation, double messages.messages.

Task 2Task 2

Chart with alternative forms of Chart with alternative forms of behaviorbehavior– Read Read – Classify examples.Classify examples.

Why would someone Why would someone not be assertive?not be assertive?

Cultural differences.Cultural differences. Positive reward to nonassertive Positive reward to nonassertive

behavior.behavior. Irrational Beliefs and Ideas Irrational Beliefs and Ideas

“Roadblocks” or “Myths” “Roadblocks” or “Myths”

ABC Cognitive Model

Spiders bite peopleSpiders can kill

Spiders are powerfulSpiders are quick

You never know when a spider can bite you.

This spider could come after me.

ABC MODELABC MODELTHE “B” BEHIND BEHAVIOR (I)THE “B” BEHIND BEHAVIOR (I)

ABC Cognitive Model

A B C

stimulus mental process overt behavior

THE “B” BEHIND THE “B” BEHIND BEHAVIOR (II)BEHAVIOR (II)

THE “B” BEHIND THE “B” BEHIND BEHAVIOR (III)BEHAVIOR (III) It may contain roadblocks to It may contain roadblocks to

assertive behaviorassertive behavior::– ““I must avoid making questions or I must avoid making questions or

statements that will make me look statements that will make me look stupid or ignorant”.stupid or ignorant”.

– ““If I assert myself in any relationship If I assert myself in any relationship others will get mad at me”.others will get mad at me”.

– “ “If I say I don’t agree my supervisor If I say I don’t agree my supervisor will think I am not being supportive”will think I am not being supportive”

Task 3. Task 3.

Roadblocks to assertive behaviorRoadblocks to assertive behavior– Read these roadblocks to assertive Read these roadblocks to assertive

behavior and think of their assertive behavior and think of their assertive counterpart.counterpart.

ASSERTIVE DISCIPLINE ASSERTIVE DISCIPLINE IN THE CLASSROOMIN THE CLASSROOM Dismiss the thought that there is any Dismiss the thought that there is any

acceptable reason for misbehavior .acceptable reason for misbehavior . Decide which rules you wish to Decide which rules you wish to

implement. implement. Determine negative consequences Determine negative consequences

for noncompliance.for noncompliance. Determine positive consequences Determine positive consequences

for appropriate behavior.for appropriate behavior.

TEACHER TALK TEACHER TALK

"Tish, I like the way you raised your "Tish, I like the way you raised your hand before speaking.”hand before speaking.”

““Ana, please start putting your Ana, please start putting your project away. It's been five minutes project away. It's been five minutes since I asked you to clean up.”since I asked you to clean up.”

"I give up. If this group doesn't "I give up. If this group doesn't wantwant to listen to listen, its your problem, not , its your problem, not mine."mine."

Body language as Body language as related to assertive related to assertive behavior:behavior:

1. 1. Eye contact and facial Eye contact and facial expressionexpression: Maintain direct eye : Maintain direct eye contact, appear interested and alert, contact, appear interested and alert, but not angry.but not angry.

2. 2. Posture:Posture: Stand or sit erect, possibly Stand or sit erect, possibly leaning forward slightly.leaning forward slightly.

3. 3. Distance and contactDistance and contact: Stand or sit : Stand or sit at a normal conversational distance at a normal conversational distance from the other.from the other.

Body language as Body language as related to assertive related to assertive behavior:behavior: 4. 4. Gestures:Gestures: Use relaxed, Use relaxed,

conversational gestures.conversational gestures. 5. 5. VoiceVoice: Use a factual, not emotional : Use a factual, not emotional

tone of voice. Sound determined and tone of voice. Sound determined and full of conviction, but not full of conviction, but not overbearing.overbearing.

6. 6. TimingTiming: Choose a time when both : Choose a time when both parties are relaxed. A neutral site is parties are relaxed. A neutral site is best.best.

ETHICS: JUDGEMENT:

What is the right thing to do?

ASSERTIVNESS: BEHAVIOR

What is the assertive way of acting?

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS: CULTURE AND COMMUNICATION

How will I communicate my ideas so that I am understood?