assertive behaviour detailed

7/28/2019 Assertive Behaviour Detailed

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Assert iveness


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Definition of Assertiveness

An honest, direct, and appropriate

expression of one's feelings,

thoughts, and beliefs.


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Test Your Assertiveness (1 of 2)

Can you express negative feelings about

other people and their behaviors without

using abusive language?

Are you able to exercise and express your

strengths?

Can you accept criticism without beingdefensive?


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Test Your Assertiveness (2 of 2)

Are you able to stand up for your rights?

Are you able to refuse unreasonable

requests from friends, family, or co-

workers?

A yes response to the questions

indicates an assertive approach.


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The Myths About Assertiveness

Other peoples feelings and rights aremore important than yours.

You are not importantenough to express your

feelings and rights.

You will offend other peopleby being assertive.


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Assertive Rights

You have the right to be assertive.

You have the right to request that otherschange their behavior if they are infringing on

your rights. You have the right to use your own time to

answer questions.

You have the right to express your needs evenif they are illogical.

Be aware that there are responsibilitiesattached to all these rights!


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Remember

You do not live in isolation

Your actions impact everyone

You are in control of your behavior

Your response to a situation must be guided

by ascertaining your rights andresponsibilities


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Have You Ever Felt

guilty about saying no?

that its better to be well liked than well

respected?

that outbursts of anger are appropriate?

that intimidation is the only way you can

get what you want?


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Sound Familiar?

If any of these things sound likeyou, it means you are probably

exhibiting non-assertive behavior.

Realize that you are not alone. Non-assertive behavior is very common

in the workplace.


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Lets define behaviors.

Aggress ive

Submiss ive

Assert ive


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Aggressive behaviors

What is AGGRESSIVE behavior?


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Aggressiveness is

Demonstrated by

Speaking louder than others;

Interrupting others;

Bullying;

Using sarcasm;

Patronizing or intimidating body language.


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Are You Aggressive?

Do you become abusive, whether it beverbal or physical, when criticizingothers?

Do you purposely make others feel likethey are incompetent or unimportant?

Do you make unreasonable demandsfrom other people?

A yes answer to any of the questionsmay indicate aggressive behavior.


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Submissive behaviors.

What isSUBMISSIVE

behavior?


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Submissiveness is

A behavior that implies own contribution

is less valuable than others

Conflict-avoidant

An indication of low self-esteem


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Assertive behaviors

What isASSERTIVE

behavior?


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ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR

Enables an individual to act in his or herbest interests without denying the rightsof others

Allows people to speak their mindswithout hurting or threatening others

Allows people to express anger or

disappointment without actingaggressively


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Indicators of Assertiveness

Focusing on real issues;

Acknowledging and being open about feelings;

Listening carefully;

Seeing the other viewpoints;

Communicating clearly; Standing on ones own ground (respect for self);

Resolving conflict;

Letting other people know the consequences oftheir behavior.


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How to become assertive?

Start small

Be specific

Narrow your goals

Make manageable requests, not accusations

Gripe about the behavior, not the person

Hold your ground

Don't become a competitive complainer


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Why Assertiveness Is Important?

Effective communication brings aboutthe achievement of individual and/or

shared goals.

Assertiveness increases your ability to

reach these goals while maintaining

your rights and dignity.


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Whats Keeping You Away From BeingAssertive?

Fear of change

Refusal to admit their submissiveness

Fear of ruining relationships if you speak

your mind

Lack of confidence in your ability


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Basic Assertion

Stating clearly, concisely and usually

without justification, what you want, what

you think or how you feel.

Use this at the start of a conversation or

when your views are in danger of being

ignored


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Empathy.

The ability to understand another

persons feelings, experience etc .

You can do this by saying, Buddy, I

realize how hard it was for you..,

Wowyou have had a rough go at it


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Negative Assertion

What is it?

Agreeing with the other persons comment or

with the truth in what they have said

Use it when

You want to sidestep a barbed comment, show

such comments or tactics have no effect onyou, refocus the conversation onto a rational

level


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Pointing out a discrepancy

What is it?

Drawing someones attention to adifference in a present and previous

story and inviting them to comment onthat difference

Use it when

You do not want to jump to conclusionsand when the situation is not what youexpected


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In Dealing With Conflicts

Deal with the situation immediately

Listen carefully

Sort out the facts from the emotionalcontent

Avoid being defensive


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In Dealing With Conflicts

Ask questions

Compliment the individual/group for

having the courage to bring this toyour attention

Respond calmly and clearly

Offer alternatives


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Pointing out a consequence

What is it?

Drawing someones attention to the

inevitable outcome of the current state of

affairs.

Use it when

It has to be the last resort and you must

draw the line.


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Assertiveness at work

Dealing with a member of staff

Delegating an unpleasant task

Handling work overload from your boss

Performing well in meetings

Resolving conflicts


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Strategy for Being Assertive


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Making the First Move

Overcoming the Fear

Concentrate.

Remember who youre with

and tailor your discussion.

Be tactful and honest.

Make eye contact.


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Interpersonal Skills at Work

Avoid misunderstandingwhich can lead to frustration.

Being assertive means being

open and direct.


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Increased assertiveness leads toincreased powerful verbal

communication.

The Keys to Communication:

Verbal

Non-verbal

Written


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Verbal Communication

Avoid fillers like uh and umand diminutives like little,onlyand just.

Dont use Im sorry if youre notsincere or if the situation doesnt callfor it.

Always keep in mind your tone andvolume


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No isNota Dirty Word

If something makes you feel uncomfortableor if you feel the request is unreasonable,

then it is your prerogative to refuse.

Remember: You are not saying no to the whole

person, but only to part of the relationship

which makes you feel uncomfortable. No does not require an explanation.


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Non-Verbal Communication

Be aware of gestures and body language.

Make sure to allow for comfortable personal

space between you and the person youre

communicating with.

Always maintain good posture.


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Written Communication

Be concise and clear

Remember to be inclusive and aware

of your audience

Use specific and simple language


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Guidelines for being assertive.. (1)

Decide what you want

Say it clearly and specifically

Support what you say by how you say it Dont be manipulated or sidetracked

Listen


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When and where do you start

Decide if something is critical and needsimmediate attention

Aim for a win win situation

Guidelines for being assertive.. (2)


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Conclusion

ASSERTIVE people

get better results

live longer and healthier

enjoy rewarding relationships

Always try for being assertive


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Use good communication to

transmit your requests and feelings.

Dont Go Down the Submissive

or Aggressive Road

Submissive Aggressive Assertive


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Thank you

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