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Dear Parents,

SAMA member schools are expected to comply with six fundamental principles which can be found on the same website (https://samontessori.org.za/sama-fundamental-principles/).

This letter will look at the principle that requires Montessori schools to avoid the use of rewards and punishment.

In the very first Montessori school, which was opened in 1907, Maria Montessori witnessed an incident that made her question the use of rewards and punishments to control children’s behaviour:

“Once I entered the school and saw a child sitting in an armchair all by himself in the centre of the room with nothing to do. He was wearing on his breast one of the decorations which the teacher gave out for good behaviour. She told me, however, that the little fellow was being punished. Another child had received the reward and had placed it on his own breast, but then had given it to the one being punished as if it were something useless and a hindrance to one who wanted to work.

The child in the armchair looked indifferently at the badge and then gazed calmly about the room, quite oblivious to any sense of shame. This single incident made us realize the futility of rewards and punishments, … Eventually we gave up either punishing or rewarding the children.” 1

The secret of childhood

Further observations of children, spanning nearly fifty years, helped Maria Montessori to understand why rewards and

1TheSecretofChildhood,MariaMontessori,pg122-123

punishments are not only futile, but actually counter-productive. The key difference between Montessori and regular concepts of discipline is that Montessori discipline does not focus on the teaching of specific behaviour but rather aims to develop internal discipline (the will), which enables the child to choose how he will behave. This leads to the development of higher faculties, what we would call “virtues” or “morals” – allowing for courage, ethical judgment, conscience and the like, rather than mere obedience. Thus, rather than using extrinsic motivators such as rewards and punishments to achieve compliance, the focus is on an intrinsic self-discipline motivated by a sense of doing what is life sustaining, what serves the greater good for self and for community. Discipline is built through repeated experience of deep concentration on independently chosen, self-correcting work.

There is a great deal of research emanating from the fields of psychology, behavioural science and education, that indicate that both punishments and rewards have negative effects. One of the leading writers in this regard is Alfie Kohn, whose articles are easily accessed, and highly compatible with Montessori practice (See http://www.alfiekohn.org).

To be clear, authentic Montessori schools do not use punishments or rewards of any kind, neither to control behaviour nor to compel children to learn. This should not be taken to mean that Montessori schools do not believe in discipline.

One of the hallmarks of a well-functioning Montessori school is a heightened level of discipline evident in the spontaneous

Est.2003 www.samontessori.org.za August2017

The Montessori Messenger

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and even joyful obedience of the children. How does this come about in the absence of controlling methods such as rewards and punishments?

Montessori called this active discipline.

“We claim that an individual is disciplined when he is the master of himself, and when he can, as a consequence, control himself when he must follow a rule of life. Such a concept of active discipline is not easy to understand nor to attain.” 2

Essentially active discipline comes about when the child is able to make choices in an environment that is geared to meeting his natural, developmental needs.

Rather than regarding children as being “naughty” or “defiant”, Montessori teachers understand “misbehaviour” as a sign that some developmental need has not been met, or alternatively, that the child simply does not fully understand the right way to behave. Even if the child does know how to behave, they may not yet have the self-control to do so. Then there is the impact of environmental factors which could overexcite, frighten or confuse the child. By helping the child to meet their needs in appropriate ways, by controlling the environment to eliminate distracting sensory input, and by directly teaching appropriate responses, the teacher helps the child to gradually develop self-discipline and appropriate skill-sets to master a wide range of social situations.

The teacher will also refrain from either prompting or correcting a child who may not yet have quire mastered any particular skill or behaviour. This is not neglect or abandonment. Constant correction results in children feeling incompetent and constantly looking to adults for guidance. When children are trusted, and their mistakes (both

2Thediscoveryofthechild,MariaMontessori,pg51

interpersonal and academic) greeted with kindness and benign interest, followed by discrete and indirect re-teaching of the missing skill, children develop competence and a heathy form of self- esteem that feeds growing self-discipline.

Because Montessori classes are multi-age, the older children set the tone of the room, helping younger children to acquire this type of discipline more quickly. The level of spontaneous discipline evident in established Montessori classes is seldom found in classes of one age, and rewards and punishments are assumed to be the only means by which discipline can be obtained.

The principle of not using rewards and punishments applies to all levels of Montessori education from toddler through to high school. The success of the Montessori approach to discipline is dependent on the interaction of all the Montessori principles. Parents often ask how this type of discipline can be supported at home. In essence, the answer is that parents can learn to apply the principles at home. The basic idea that is necessary to come to terms with is that children do not misbehave to be manipulative or destructive, but because they cannot behave in the way their parents expect. Punishments (or rewards) may appear to work in some instances, but this is only because they coincide with

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development that would any way be taking place. More often, the punishments and rewards distort the behaviour and have negative side effects.

There is a wide range of good material which parents can use to help develop their own skills and understanding of this approach. While we would obviously recommend Montessori’s own writings, this is often difficulty for many people to relate to, and often appears to only refer to younger children. Other sources we recommend are listed below.

1. Ross Greene http://www.livesinthebalance.org/parents-families. The website has a selection of articles, videos and links. We recommend you begin with his book

“Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child, and the short video series for parents.

2. All resources from the various practitioners of Non-Violent Communication (NVC) are highly recommended. Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson, in particular, focus on adult child relationships. Their book Respectful Parents Respectful Kids is especially useful and user-friendly. Imbal Kashtan’s Parenting from the Heart and Marshal Rosenberg’s Raising Children Compassionately are shorter reads.

While most of Alfie Kohn’s work is intended for teachers, his many of his books are also useful to parents. We recommend you start with Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community, which is a a short and easy read.

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason addresses issues directly related to the home situation. If you need more compelling evidence against the use of rewards then Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise and Other Bribes should lay the matter to rest.

Montessori Parenting: Unveiling the Authentic Self, by Jim and Sonnie McFarland is also highly recommended.

If you are keen to dig into Maria Montessori’s own writing then have a look at What You Should Know About Your Child, and the recently published Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents.

I hope you have a better understanding of the Montessori perspective towards disciplining children. I thank Sharon Caldwell for her immense contribution to this letter.

I look forward to your feedback. Please share topics you would like to know more about.

Have a wonderful day, week and month. Till next time.

Kym