AVID Methodologies

Strategies to Demystify the Writing Process

Check List1. AVID Methodology: WIC-R2. The Introductory Paragraph

– Opening Sentences– Thesis Statements

3. Body Paragraphs– Topic Sentences– Analysis– Analytical gaps– Evidence/Interpretation– Anchor

4. Concluding Paragraph

The AVID Program

• Advancement

• Via

• Individual

• DeterminationAVID is a program to help identify students who have a determination to go to college but who need extra support to reach that goal.

AVID Methodology: WIC-R

• Writing

• Inquiry

• Collaboration

• Reading

For every content, AVID has strategies and lesson plans based on these four components.

WIC-R

• AVID believes that writing should be viewed as a necessary component in ALL contents in order to fulfill their goal of exposing students to rigorous curriculum.

Today’s Mission

• We will analyze one students’ paper throughout this presentation, from introduction to conclusion.

• We will see the revision process in action.

Rationale

• Analyzing how another individual formulates his or her ideas in a paper is an important activity to engage students in.

• It allows students to practice the thinking required to write a focused essay.

• Writing a paper will be less of an intimidating experience for students.

Three Part Essay StructureBody

Topic Sentences

Analysis

Evidence Interpretation

Anchor

Conclusion

Summary

Intensified Insight

Introduction

Opening sentences

Thesis

Forecast

Introductory Paragraph

• Be aware of your audience

• An intro has one primary purpose: – to engage readers in the essay

Opening Sentences

• Sets a tone appropriate to the topic and audience.

• Communicates information that can guide readers toward the purpose of the essay.

• Provides the readers with a reason to keep reading, a reason to care about what it is the writer has to say in the next several pages.

Let’s Begin Our Mission towards Revision

• You should have a copy of the poem in which this paper addresses.

• Let’s read the poem.

“My Papa’s Waltz” Theodore Roethke

The whiskey on your breathCould make a small boy dizzyBut I hung on like deathSuch waltzing was not easy

We romped until the pansSlid from the kitchen shelf;My mother’s countenanceCould not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wristWas battered on one knuckle;At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my headWith a palm caked hard by dirt,Then waltzed me off to bedStill clinging to your shirt.

Prompt

• Analyze the poem “My Papa’s Waltz” and write a well organized essay outlining your observations of the poem. Include in your essay your interpretation of the theme and explain what strategies Roethke uses to develop the theme.

Student Introduction

In, “My Papa’s Waltz”, by Theodore Roethke, a boy is at home “dancing” with his drunken papa. The “dance” is a routine ordeal; the boy’s father comes home drunk, and “waltzes” his son around the house. The boy is scraped and bumped around by his clumsy father. This poem proves that, through mixed emotions, people can still love others, even though they are not perfect.

What do you think about the student’s opening sentences?

• What suggestions would you give this student?

Revised Opening Sentences

The poem, “My Papa’s Waltz”, by Theodore Roethke, expresses the complexity of human emotions. A son recalls his father’s drunken behavior. He realizes that despite the unintended abuse he endured from his father, he cannot completely shake off his nostalgia for those unconventional moments he shared with his father.

Why is this opening more engaging than the original opening?

Thesis Statements

• A clearly worded answer to a question

• A clearly worded declaration of the view(s)/ideas a writer will substantiate, assert, or prove in a paper.

• Captures insight or an approach to a topic that is unique to the writer and that is persuasively supported by evidence and analysis that follow.

Thesis Statement cont.

• Know your audience!!!– Audiences will anticipate a single

sentence thesis, which may require precise word choice to communicate a complex idea.

– Sometimes, a thesis must expand to two or more sentences to clearly state what an essay sets out to prove.

Student IntroductionThe poem, “My Papa’s

Waltz”, by Theodore Roethke, expresses the complexity of human emotions. A son recalls his father’s drunken behavior. He realizes that despite the unintended abuse he endured from his father, he cannot completely shake off his nostalgia for those unconventional moments he shared with his father. This poem proves that, through mixed emotions, people can still love others, even though they are not perfect.

Revised opening

Original thesis

• Prompt: Analyze the poem “My Papa’s Waltz” and write a well organized essay outlining your observations of the poem. Include in your essay your interpretation of the theme and explain what strategies Roethke uses to develop the theme.

• Thesis That Needs Improvement: This poem proves that, through mixed emotions, people can still love others, even though they are not perfect.

• Commentary: The student does present the theme that “people can still love others, even though they are not perfect”. Yet, the theme stated is still too broad. Who “people” represents and what “not perfect” means, is not specified. Also, the student claims to explain this interpretation by examining “mixed emotions”. The student needs to explain what technique “mixed emotions” represents. Maybe it means he will examine the speaker’s attitude through the author’s word choice to prove the theme.

• Stronger Thesis: Roethke’s word choice in “My Papa’s Waltz” reveals that, as an adult, the speaker struggles with contradictory emotions towards his alcoholic father.

The Forecast Statement• Forecasts should simply notify

readers of what is ahead in a concise statement.

• This statement will help with organization of ideas.

• It follows the thesis statement.• Example:

– The essay proving the speaker’s conflicting attitude towards his father in “My Papa’s Waltz” could follow up the thesis with:

The speaker resents the actions he endured from his father as a child and now feels helpless at the idea that his father may never give him the type of relationship he deserves.

Our Revised IntroductionThe poem, “My Papa’s

Waltz”, by Theodore Roethke, expresses the complexity of human emotions. A son recalls his father’s drunken behavior. He realizes that despite the unintended abuse he endured from his father, he cannot completely shake off his nostalgia for those unconventional moments he shared with his father. Roethke’s word choice in “My Papa’s Waltz” reveals that, as an adult, the speaker struggles with contradictory emotions towards his alcoholic father. The speaker resents the actions he endured from his father as a child and now feels helpless at the idea that his father may never give him the type of relationship he deserves.

opening

thesis

forecast

What have we learned so far?

• My intro should grab the reader’s attention.

• My thesis should clearly word my answer to a prompt and capture my unique insight or approach to a topic.

• An orderly forecast assists me in planning the direction of my proof and aids readers in anticipating the direction my essay will take.

Any Questions So Far?

Three Part Essay StructureBody

Topic Sentences

Analysis

Evidence Interpretation

Anchor

Conclusion

Summary

Intensified

Introduction

Opening sentences

Thesis

Forecast

Body Paragraphs

• Explores ideas relevant to the thesis

• Presents evidence in a logical fashion

• Interprets evidence in ways that clearly support the thesis

• Continuously reminds readers of the thesis without simply repeating it

Topic Sentences

• Draws on the wording of the thesis and forecast to keep the central argument of the paper actively in play for readers.

• Develops an aspect of the thesis or forecast that will be further expanded in the paragraph.

Student Body ParagraphThroughout the poem,

mixed emotions can be found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect. Pity and compassion are evident in the boy when he continues to hold on to his father as the dance grows dangerous. Holding on to his father shows that his loves his father, even though he is drunk. When the “pans slid from the kitchen shelf” (lines 5-6), the boy was still hanging on. The boy still loved his father, even though he was looking control. He knew his father meant him no harm, but it still led to anger in the boy. His dad did not seem to care when the boy was being bumped around. The “whiskey on [papa’s] breath,” (line 1), shows that the father is in a drunken stupor.

topic sentence needs

improvement

• Revised Thesis and Forecast:Roethke’s word choice in “My Papa’s Waltz” reveals that, as an adult, the speaker struggles with contradictory emotions towards his alcoholic father. The speaker resents the actions he endured from his father as a child and now feels helpless at the idea that his father may never give him the type of relationship he deserves.

• Old Topic Sentence:Throughout the poem, mixed emotions can be found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect.

• Revised Topic Sentences:1. Roethke uses words associated with violence to

explain how the speaker’s innocence as a child allowed him to endure reprehensible behavior from his father.

2. Roethke’s use of the second person perspective further reveals that the speaker has an accusatory attitude towards his father’s actions yet, simultaneously longs for a bond with him.

Discussion to Have with Your Students

• How does an improved thesis statement impact the quality of topic sentences?

• What sort of thinking went into creating a topic sentence that stays true to the thesis?

Exposure to Quality Breeds More Quality

• Give students examples of quality thesis statements over a work you are currently reading or discussing.

• Ask students to create topic sentences that draw from the wording of the thesis and develop one aspect in the thesis to expand.

Rationale

• Mini Lessons such as these force students to practice the thinking and skills necessary for writing a good paper.

• These mini lessons will boost confidence and lessen the fear associated with writing.

Analysis

• Follows the topic sentence

• Extends the idea and gives readers the time to absorb the idea before shifting into the specific evidence that will be used to prove it

Is analysis present?Throughout the poem, mixed

emotions can be found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect. Pity and compassion are evident in the boy when he continues to hold on to his father as the dance grows dangerous. Holding on to his father shows that his loves his father, even though he is drunk. When the “pans slid from the kitchen shelf” (lines 5-6), the boy was still hanging on. The boy still loved his father, even though he was looking control. He knew his father meant him no harm, but it still led to anger in the boy. His dad did not seem to care when the boy was being bumped around. The “whiskey on [papa’s] breath,” (line 1), shows that the father is in a drunken stupor.

Let’s improve this paragraph.• Revised topic sentence:

Roethke uses words associated with violence to explain how the speaker’s innocence as a child allowed him to endure reprehensible behavior from his father.

• Possible Analysis: Small children innocently overlook major flaws in their parents as long as they are shown attention and affection by them, no matter how crude. As adults, the crudeness of these memories can cause bitterness.

Analytical Gaps

• This is when the analysis of a topic sentence is missing.

• Occurs when a writer assumes that the reader is following his/her logic

• Occurs when a writer is eager to shift into evidence

Notice the analytical gap.Throughout the poem, mixed

emotions can be found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect. Pity and compassion are evident in the boy when he continues to hold on to his father as the dance grows dangerous. Holding on to his father shows that his loves his father, even though he is drunk. When the “pans slid from the kitchen shelf” (lines 5-6), the boy was still hanging on.

• The writer is eager to shift into evidence.

• The writer does not extend the idea in the topic sentence before moving on to closer text interpretation.

The body paragraph with current revisions

Roethke uses words associated with violence to explain how the speaker’s innocence as a child allowed him to endure reprehensible behavior from his father. Small children innocently overlook major flaws in their parents as long as they are shown attention and affection by them, no matter how crude. As adults, the crudeness of these memories can cause bitterness.

Evidence/Interpretation of Evidence

• Evidence presented should be persuasive.

• Evidence should point toward the validity of the thesis.

• Evidence must be interpreted and linked to the point being proven.

• The writer presents this interpretation.• The writer should NEVER assume that

the reader will automatically make the connection.

Types of Evidence Depending on the purpose and type of paper being written, writers can use the following as evidence:

• Quotations from texts• Details from texts related to plot,

character, setting, style• References to familiar elements of

culture, politics• References to a work of art, music or

performance• Documented facts• Ideas from critical sources• Information from reference materials

Evidence

• The paper we are focusing on is an essay interpreting a piece of literature

• We will use the following types of evidence:

• Quotations from texts• Details from texts related to

plot, character, setting, style

Evidence and Interpretation in the Body Paragraph

Throughout the poem, mixed emotions can be found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect. Pity and compassion are evident in the boy when he continues to hold on to his father as the dance grows dangerous. Holding on to his father shows that he loves his father, even though he is drunk. When the “pans slid from the kitchen shelf” (lines 5-6), the boy was still hanging on. The boy still loved his father, even though he was losing control. He knew his father meant him no harm, but it still led to anger in the boy.

Inquiry• What questions should we be

asking about the student’s choice of evidence and its interpretation?– Does it support the theme

presented in the thesis?– If so, has the connection to the

theme been done clearly?– Has the writer assumed the

reader understand his or her logic and therefore does not extend his or her ideas further?

Commentary• The student lacks a focused topic sentence; it names too

many emotions to prove.– Throughout the poem, mixed emotions can be

found: pity, compassion, anger, and neglect.

• There is no transitional sentence that follows the topic sentence. The second sentence sounds like another topic sentence:– Pity and compassion are evident in the boy

when he continues to hold on to his father as the dance grows dangerous.

• The student’s attempt to connect the events in the poem to his thesis is weak due to repetitiveness and an already weak thesis .― Holding on to his father shows that he loves his

father, even though he is drunk. When the “pans slid from the kitchen shelf” the boy was still hanging on (lines 5-6). The boy still loved his father, even though he was losing control. He knew his father meant him no harm, but it still led to anger in the boy.

Roethke uses words associated with violence to explain how the speaker’s innocence as a child allowed him to endure reprehensible behavior from his father. Small children innocently overlook major flaws in their parents as long as they are shown attention and affection by them, no matter how crude. As adults, the crudeness of these memories can cause bitterness.

• With a topic sentence that more accurately captures a more concise thesis, the student can make the needed revisions to his or her paper.

• A strong topic sentence will guide the writer as to what to discuss in the rest of the paragraph.

» Focus on words associated with violence» Use those words to prove that the adult

speaker recognizes that his child-self endure certain behavior due to innocence.

» Since my new thesis focuses on contradictory emotions, I want to lead into my argument that speaker’s recognition of his past acceptance of his father, ironically, is a recognition of his desire for a bond with his father as an adult.

Evidence Interpreted with a FocusRoethke uses words associated with violence to

explain how the speaker’s innocence as a child allowed him to endure reprehensible behavior from his father. Small children innocently overlook major flaws in their parents as long as they are shown attention and affection by them, no matter how crude. As adults, the crudeness of these memories can cause bitterness. The speaker recalls the time in his childhood when his father would come home drunk off “whiskey” and roughly “waltz” around with him. The speaker’s memory seems to dwell on the violence associated with this nightly routine. Within the first stanza, the speaker reveals that his father “waltz[ed]” him around so rough that he had to “[hang] on like death” (Roethke, ll. 3). The speaker’s grip on his father while waltzing is compared to the grip death has over all living things. Despite the heavy connotations the word “death” conveys, the speaker, as a child, viewed “such waltzing [as] not easy” (Roethke, ll. 4). Roethke ends the first stanza with an understatement to reveal the innocent loyalty the speaker, as a child, holds for his father. While the “waltz” demands a death grip from the speaker, the speaker’s child self plays down his father’s actions as simply “not easy”. The speaker’s child-self overlooked and endured his father’s destructive behavior.

The Anchor

• The final component in a body paragraph of an essay.

• It secures the evidence and interpretation presented to the overall claim of the paper.

• It reminds readers of the overall purpose.

• It allows for clear connection between paragraphs.

The Challenge of Writing Anchors

• Refraining from allowing them to become repetitive by simply restating the thesis or topic sentence.

Let’s add an anchor to the student essay !

Possible Anchor:At a closer examination of the poem, it becomes more evident that, despite his father’s actions during his childhood, the speaker still longs for a relationship with his father. The poem begins to represent the conflicting emotions the speaker feels towards his father.

Analyzing the Anchor

• How well does this anchor help the reader to see a clear connection between paragraphs?

• Does it remind the reader of the overall purpose of the paper?

• Why or why not?

What have we learned so far?

• The importance of a focused topic sentence and its loyalty to the thesis.

• Follow the topic sentence with analysis so your logic is strengthened.

• Carefully choose your evidence and make sure your interpretation of it supports the claim stated in the topic sentence

• Anchor the ideas in your paragraphs so as to make clear connections between paragraphs.

Three Part Essay StructureBody

Topic Sentences

Analysis

Evidence Interpretation

Anchor

Conclusion

Summary

Intensified

Introduction

Opening sentences

Thesis

Forecast

Concluding ParagraphSummary• Contain a reminder of the primary

claim• Contains NO new evidence • refers to significant points which

were offered as proof of the thesis

Intensified Insight• Provide insight that deepens the

significance of the claim without introducing a new argument

• Reminds readers of the value of the essay

Student’s Original ConclusionThroughout the poem, many

emotions bombard the protagonist about his father. In the end, he shows that is possible to love someone, even though they aren’t perfect.

Commentary:• The paragraph is too short.• It restates the theme presented in the

original thesis but does not summarize significant points.

• It seems that the student cannot and has not been able to articulate what he means by “emotions bombard the protagonist”.

• This goes to prove that a focused thesis at the start greatly affects the quality of the rest of the paper.

How might the conclusion based on the revised version of the paper look like?

• Get out a sheet a paper.• Read the copy of the revised

version of the essay.• See if you can summarize the

significant points and remind the readers of the value of the essay without introducing a new argument.

We examined a draft of an essay that needed improvement.

Our revision of the essay took us through the three parts of an essay.

Body

Topic Sentences

Analysis

Evidence Interpretation

Anchor

Conclusion

Summary

Intensified

Introduction

Opening sentences

Thesis

Forecast

How may you use what you learned today?

Suggestions:• As a class, in groups, partners or

individually, have students revise a rough draft of an essay

• It can be their own essay or one the teacher has planned for the whole class to revise

• Break up each part of the essay structure into several mini-lessons

• Exposure to the thinking required in writing a quality paper is what this process will accomplish

You guys and gals have been great!!!!

The following are the resources I have prepared so you can do this with your students.

1. Lesson Plan over Introductions and Thesis statements

2. Three Part Essay Organizer3. Peer Response over Content handout4. Proofreading Tips Handout5. Peer Response over Editing for Usage and

MechanicsArgumentative Paper Resources1. Peer Response to Argumentative Writing2. Essay Metacognition and Coversheet3. Argumentative Essay Rubric